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00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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00:01:58,009 --> 00:02:00,091
What a year it's been, North Jackson.
3
00:02:00,092 --> 00:02:03,174
Lots of ups and downs,
but we've all made it.
4
00:02:03,175 --> 00:02:06,465
Those of you who screwed up,
I'll see you in summer school.
5
00:02:06,466 --> 00:02:09,091
To the rest of you, see you next year
6
00:02:09,092 --> 00:02:10,841
and have a wonderful summer.
7
00:02:10,842 --> 00:02:16,049
But, before you're dismissed, I want
to give a shout out to a special kid.
8
00:02:16,050 --> 00:02:19,549
Robin Shandrell. You did good this year.
9
00:02:19,550 --> 00:02:21,757
He's been through a lot,
but he's muscled through
10
00:02:21,758 --> 00:02:24,549
and managed to make straight
"A's" this last six weeks.
11
00:02:24,550 --> 00:02:27,841
Real proud of you, bud.
If you see him around today,
12
00:02:27,842 --> 00:02:31,049
give Robin Shandrell a big round
of applause. He's earned it.
13
00:02:31,050 --> 00:02:33,091
You've made a big impact on me,
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00:02:33,092 --> 00:02:36,277
and I hope I've done the same for you.
15
00:02:37,425 --> 00:02:39,799
This is your interim acting principal,
16
00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:42,465
Neal Gamby, signing off.
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00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:45,174
Have a great summer, Tigers!
18
00:02:45,175 --> 00:02:46,757
To the end.
19
00:03:01,633 --> 00:03:05,008
Cheese!
20
00:03:05,009 --> 00:03:08,257
Oh, wonderful! Wonderful!
That's the one! That's it!
21
00:03:22,884 --> 00:03:26,633
Belinda Brown.
I brought something for you.
22
00:03:29,925 --> 00:03:32,383
Okay, Jesus. Oh, Lord Jesus.
23
00:03:34,341 --> 00:03:36,341
This is your pump.
24
00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:40,800
- You've got to be fucking kidding me.
- Uh...
25
00:03:41,884 --> 00:03:43,632
I'm... I'm really loving
your new digs, B.
26
00:03:43,633 --> 00:03:45,757
You work in the private sector now, huh?
27
00:03:45,758 --> 00:03:47,529
You're goddamn right,
28
00:03:47,662 --> 00:03:50,441
but I don't need bitch-asses
like you fucking up my campus.
29
00:03:50,466 --> 00:03:52,257
- I'm calling security.
- Please don't. Don't.
30
00:03:52,258 --> 00:03:55,340
I don't mean any harm. I swear,
I'm just here to apologize.
31
00:03:55,341 --> 00:03:58,008
Bullshit. You shot Gamby down,
32
00:03:58,009 --> 00:03:59,716
and now you've come
for me too. Is that it?
33
00:03:59,717 --> 00:04:01,674
I didn't shoot him, Belinda.
34
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:04,215
I know why he thinks it's me.
35
00:04:04,216 --> 00:04:07,674
It makes sense. I have a
record of fucking people over,
36
00:04:07,675 --> 00:04:09,966
and I'm sorry.
37
00:04:09,967 --> 00:04:12,424
But I've paid the price for it, Belinda.
38
00:04:12,425 --> 00:04:14,174
Why are you telling me like I care?
39
00:04:14,175 --> 00:04:16,716
I just need somebody
to help clear my name.
40
00:04:16,717 --> 00:04:18,424
I have no other option.
41
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:19,799
All I have is my word,
42
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:22,382
and you know that
that doesn't mean shit.
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00:04:27,592 --> 00:04:30,383
Look at your sorry ass.
44
00:04:33,175 --> 00:04:34,610
Get off my campus,
45
00:04:34,657 --> 00:04:37,500
and be glad I didn't punch you
in your motherfucking face.
46
00:04:38,633 --> 00:04:41,174
Good morning, sweet baby.
47
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:50,716
And just like that...
48
00:04:50,717 --> 00:04:52,382
they're gone!
49
00:04:52,383 --> 00:04:55,049
Woo-hoo!
50
00:04:55,050 --> 00:04:57,799
- Congratulations, everyone!
- Woo-hoo-hoo!
51
00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:59,507
- Happy summer!
- Happy summer!
52
00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:02,091
So, what's this mean, Gamby?
53
00:05:02,092 --> 00:05:04,215
You gonna be the man next year?
You gonna run this school?
54
00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:06,382
Well, Superintendent Haas did
get your recommendations,
55
00:05:06,383 --> 00:05:08,883
and I told him I was
more than willing to stand in,
56
00:05:08,884 --> 00:05:11,049
but they haven't made
their choice just yet.
57
00:05:11,050 --> 00:05:14,049
Hey, look at him. Just think,
we don't have to sit through
58
00:05:14,050 --> 00:05:17,008
- one more Russell speech ever again.
- Mm-hmm.
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00:05:17,009 --> 00:05:19,008
Whoo. Or those awful jokes he would tell
60
00:05:19,009 --> 00:05:20,924
and then he would laugh
at his own punchlines.
61
00:05:20,925 --> 00:05:22,465
You know, I heard he was planning on
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00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:24,091
wearing a Korean robe to graduation.
63
00:05:24,092 --> 00:05:26,591
- No.
- Oh, did you hear that, Amanda?
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00:05:26,592 --> 00:05:28,549
- That's what you heard?
- Yup.
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00:05:28,550 --> 00:05:30,049
Sounds made up to me.
66
00:05:30,050 --> 00:05:32,591
Sounds to me like you're showing
off for your big-dick boyfriend.
67
00:05:32,592 --> 00:05:34,674
- Right, guys?
- Come on, Jen, don't be like this.
68
00:05:34,675 --> 00:05:36,716
Why don't you guys just go
straight to your house
69
00:05:36,717 --> 00:05:38,716
and just talk about,
ooh, this so-called "robe."
70
00:05:38,717 --> 00:05:41,133
Fine. We'll talk about Lee
Russell and his made-up robe.
71
00:05:41,134 --> 00:05:42,549
Yeah. Talk about Lee Russell all night.
72
00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:44,632
Fucking laugh and whisper
till the sun comes up.
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00:05:44,633 --> 00:05:46,133
- We'll just talk about...
- Lee Russell.
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00:05:46,134 --> 00:05:47,757
Yeah, talk about... Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee.
75
00:05:47,758 --> 00:05:49,924
Okay, guys! Can we please stop
talking about fuckin' Lee Russell!
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00:05:49,949 --> 00:05:51,632
Please, enjoy the meal, everyone.
77
00:05:51,633 --> 00:05:53,091
Happy summer to everyone.
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00:05:53,092 --> 00:05:55,174
God! You fuck!
79
00:05:57,341 --> 00:05:59,215
Damn! Somebody eat
all the fucking mac and cheese?
80
00:05:59,216 --> 00:06:00,674
That shit goes first, man.
81
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:04,424
You sad as fuck
that Mr. Russell is gone.
82
00:06:04,425 --> 00:06:06,049
Y'all have feelings for each other.
83
00:06:06,050 --> 00:06:07,716
It's got to go somewhere, right?
84
00:06:07,717 --> 00:06:08,883
I'm getting more crab.
85
00:06:08,884 --> 00:06:10,632
That crab ain't gonna
help you feel better.
86
00:06:10,633 --> 00:06:12,632
- Hey, Ms. Swift.
- Hey.
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00:06:12,633 --> 00:06:15,591
Mr. Gamby, there's... there's
a man here to see you.
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00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:17,425
He says he's with a tiger.
89
00:06:18,341 --> 00:06:20,632
- A fucking tiger?
- God damn it, Swift.
90
00:06:20,633 --> 00:06:22,966
Every time you come around,
something annoying happens.
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00:06:22,967 --> 00:06:25,049
My best bet's gonna be in here,
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00:06:25,050 --> 00:06:26,799
keeping the animal in an area
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00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:28,549
that can be isolated and controlled
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00:06:28,550 --> 00:06:31,382
in the unlikely event that the
creature's set loose.
95
00:06:31,383 --> 00:06:33,244
Now, I have no fucking
idea how something
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00:06:33,269 --> 00:06:34,883
like that would ever fucking happen,
97
00:06:34,908 --> 00:06:36,522
but I gotta dot my "I's."
98
00:06:36,546 --> 00:06:38,299
Okay, well, we're not gonna need
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00:06:38,300 --> 00:06:39,799
a live tiger for graduation.
100
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,674
That was ordered by the old principal.
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00:06:41,675 --> 00:06:44,091
He was a man obsessed with showboating.
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00:06:44,092 --> 00:06:46,716
Yeah, I don't give a shit.
Tiger comes, tiger goes.
103
00:06:46,717 --> 00:06:48,799
I still get my 25 large.
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00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,008
25 fucking grand?
That's how much he spent?
105
00:06:51,009 --> 00:06:53,842
- You bet.
- Tiger stays.
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00:06:54,967 --> 00:06:55,925
Yes.
107
00:06:55,926 --> 00:06:59,675
โช Free bottle, don't you waste it โช
108
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:02,591
So, Gamby says you're a writer.
109
00:07:02,592 --> 00:07:04,049
Oh god, no, I'm not a writer.
110
00:07:04,050 --> 00:07:05,591
I mean, I gave it a go, but hm-mmm.
111
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:07,424
You should write Nicholas Sparks books.
112
00:07:07,425 --> 00:07:10,091
- She rips right through them.
- Hey, whose bright idea was it
113
00:07:10,092 --> 00:07:11,464
to make the grad party coed
114
00:07:11,488 --> 00:07:13,465
I just told Janelle she
could invite all her friends.
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00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:16,841
- It's a really big deal for them.
- ight. Well, who's that one little jackass
116
00:07:16,842 --> 00:07:18,507
that keeps bouncing around by her?
117
00:07:18,508 --> 00:07:22,049
- That's Colin.
- He may be her boyfriend.
118
00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:23,632
She's been liking a lot of his Twitters.
119
00:07:23,633 --> 00:07:25,632
- I think he looks cute.
- He is cute.
120
00:07:25,633 --> 00:07:28,549
Yeah, real cute, trying to 69
my daughter's brains out.
121
00:07:28,550 --> 00:07:30,340
- Neal! Jesus!
- Jesus Christ.
122
00:07:30,341 --> 00:07:32,257
I'm about to throw that
little motherfucker outta here.
123
00:07:32,258 --> 00:07:33,966
- Colin is gone.
- Whoa! No, you're not.
124
00:07:33,967 --> 00:07:36,257
- Yup, yup.
- Nope, nope, nope. Relax, relax, relax.
125
00:07:36,258 --> 00:07:38,302
Please, just let them have fun.
126
00:07:38,326 --> 00:07:39,434
Settle down.
127
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:40,757
- Want a cookie?
- No.
128
00:07:40,758 --> 00:07:42,215
That's a goddamn miracle.
129
00:07:42,216 --> 00:07:44,382
- What?
- He listens to you.
130
00:07:44,383 --> 00:07:46,549
- "He listens to you."
- Ooh.
131
00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:48,258
โช Red eyes โช
132
00:07:49,633 --> 00:07:52,133
- Are you okay?
- Hmm?
133
00:07:52,134 --> 00:07:54,549
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Yeah, feel good.
134
00:07:54,550 --> 00:07:57,008
My daughter's graduating middle school.
135
00:07:57,009 --> 00:08:00,257
I finally got the girl.
I got the job of my dreams.
136
00:08:00,258 --> 00:08:02,841
- Stoked.
- Oh, yeah?
137
00:08:02,842 --> 00:08:05,049
You don't look stoked.
138
00:08:05,050 --> 00:08:07,091
Come on, what's wrong?
139
00:08:07,092 --> 00:08:09,549
I just can't shake the idea
that Lee betrayed me.
140
00:08:09,550 --> 00:08:11,591
You know? I thought
we were real friends.
141
00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:13,133
I know. It's crazy,
142
00:08:13,134 --> 00:08:16,465
but you can't let him
bring you down anymore.
143
00:08:16,466 --> 00:08:19,049
Try and move on, try and
get him out of your head.
144
00:08:19,050 --> 00:08:22,549
Besides, you have
a graduation to orchestrate.
145
00:08:22,550 --> 00:08:26,591
- That is pretty cool.
- Very cool.
146
00:08:26,592 --> 00:08:29,058
Not just anybody
can orchestrate a graduation.
147
00:08:29,082 --> 00:08:32,924
- Mm-mmm.
- That's a job for a principal.
148
00:08:32,925 --> 00:08:36,424
All right, think. Just think.
149
00:08:36,425 --> 00:08:38,841
Think there, Russell. Think. You're
the smartest person I know, Lee.
150
00:08:38,842 --> 00:08:40,091
You're the smartest person I know.
151
00:08:40,092 --> 00:08:41,591
You've always been smart.
152
00:08:41,592 --> 00:08:43,340
Who framed you? Someone outsmarted you.
153
00:08:43,341 --> 00:08:46,215
Who did it? Think, think,
think, think, think.
154
00:08:46,216 --> 00:08:48,008
Think, think. Just think.
155
00:08:48,009 --> 00:08:50,508
Fucking think! Think! Think!
156
00:08:51,466 --> 00:08:53,632
Calm down.
157
00:08:53,633 --> 00:08:56,465
Think. Someone put the mask in your car.
158
00:08:56,466 --> 00:08:59,799
The mask. The mask. It was in the trunk.
It was in the trunk of your car.
159
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:02,009
They put the mask
in the trunk of your...
160
00:09:03,092 --> 00:09:06,091
- Open the window...
- My ex-wife's car.
161
00:09:06,092 --> 00:09:07,299
What the hell are you doing here?
162
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,508
You put it in the trunk.
163
00:09:15,550 --> 00:09:16,675
Bitch!
164
00:09:25,675 --> 00:09:27,215
Jen, what the hell are you doing here?
165
00:09:27,216 --> 00:09:29,424
Just wanted to bring by some
things that you left at my house.
166
00:09:29,425 --> 00:09:31,174
I didn't leave anything at your house.
167
00:09:31,175 --> 00:09:33,174
Really? Then what are these?
168
00:09:33,175 --> 00:09:35,674
Those are not my panties. Those
are little boys' underwear.
169
00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:37,591
Fine. Who cares?
170
00:09:37,592 --> 00:09:39,008
Are you okay?
171
00:09:39,009 --> 00:09:42,424
When you left me last semester,
it fucked up my head.
172
00:09:42,425 --> 00:09:45,549
But then I got you back and
then I felt at peace again,
173
00:09:45,550 --> 00:09:47,340
but now, all this stuff, all this...
174
00:09:47,341 --> 00:09:48,841
uck, you and Snodgrass,
175
00:09:48,842 --> 00:09:51,008
and I'm fucked in my head again.
And the only thing
176
00:09:51,009 --> 00:09:53,049
that's gonna fix that is if
me and you get married.
177
00:09:53,050 --> 00:09:56,008
Okay, well, we're not
gonna get married, Jen, okay?
178
00:09:56,009 --> 00:09:58,632
And I'm very sorry for fucking
you inside of your head.
179
00:09:58,633 --> 00:10:01,674
I didn't mean to do that. Look,
this year has been very tough.
180
00:10:01,675 --> 00:10:03,215
I've done a lot of shit
that I've regretted,
181
00:10:03,216 --> 00:10:05,050
and hurting you
is definitely one of 'em.
182
00:10:08,009 --> 00:10:10,133
Can I just go in your house and
use the bathroom for a minute?
183
00:10:10,134 --> 00:10:13,507
Oh yeah, of course you can.
I gotta get ready for graduation.
184
00:10:13,508 --> 00:10:16,215
Thanks. I'm not gonna shit, though.
I just wanna go in for a second.
185
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:19,174
Even if you do make a poop, just
flush it, make sure it goes away.
186
00:10:19,175 --> 00:10:21,049
Thanks, Neal.
187
00:10:21,050 --> 00:10:22,215
That's sweet.
188
00:10:24,216 --> 00:10:25,633
I'll just see how it goes in there.
189
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:36,382
- Russell.
- No, sir.
190
00:10:36,407 --> 00:10:38,233
- Get the fuck outta here.
- I know. I know. I know...
191
00:10:38,257 --> 00:10:40,051
- you said you never wanna see me again.
- You're dead to me.
192
00:10:40,076 --> 00:10:41,358
- Leave.
- Just listen to me!
193
00:10:41,383 --> 00:10:44,424
I know that you don't believe a
word that comes out of my mouth,
194
00:10:44,425 --> 00:10:46,716
but I didn't shoot you, Gamby.
195
00:10:46,717 --> 00:10:49,175
- It was...
- Russell.
196
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:51,716
her.
197
00:10:51,717 --> 00:10:54,091
You crazy fucking bitch.
You did it, didn't you?
198
00:10:54,092 --> 00:10:56,091
- What the fuck is going on here?
- Didn't you?
199
00:10:56,092 --> 00:10:57,257
Admit it. Yes, you did it.
200
00:10:57,258 --> 00:10:59,091
That little smile on your fucking face.
201
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:00,591
You put the mask in my car, didn't you?
202
00:11:00,592 --> 00:11:03,174
You were jealous of mine and
Gamby's relationship. Just say it.
203
00:11:04,633 --> 00:11:06,174
Abbott is your shooter, Gamby.
204
00:11:06,175 --> 00:11:07,966
This crazy bitch, she shot you that...
205
00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:09,757
God damn it!
206
00:11:09,758 --> 00:11:12,341
Fuck!
207
00:11:13,341 --> 00:11:15,299
- Jen, what the fuck?
- You hurt me, Gamby,
208
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:17,549
and when people hurt me,
I get really, really sad.
209
00:11:17,550 --> 00:11:20,674
- You killed Russell!
- Yes, I know! I fucking hated him.
210
00:11:20,675 --> 00:11:23,632
Duh! Okay? And now I'm
gonna kill you and me.
211
00:11:23,633 --> 00:11:25,966
- Oh, no, no!
- I can't do another fall semester, Gamby.
212
00:11:25,967 --> 00:11:28,424
- I just fucking can't.
- Oh, fuck! Jen, no!
213
00:11:28,425 --> 00:11:31,591
- You picked the wrong bitch.
- No! God! Stop!
214
00:11:31,592 --> 00:11:35,049
Okay, look, you want to do a
murder-combo-death-suicide thing, fine.
215
00:11:35,050 --> 00:11:37,174
That's okay. I've done
some terrible stuff this year.
216
00:11:37,175 --> 00:11:39,841
Maybe me being dead is
what's supposed to happen,
217
00:11:39,842 --> 00:11:41,841
but not here, not next to Russell.
218
00:11:41,842 --> 00:11:44,215
- I mean, that's gross, right?
- That is gross.
219
00:11:44,216 --> 00:11:47,549
I have a special place, Jen.
It's beautiful.
220
00:11:47,550 --> 00:11:50,799
It's... it's the perfect place for two
lovers to commit suicide together.
221
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:54,174
- It's beautiful?
- Yeah, it's so awesome.
222
00:11:54,175 --> 00:11:55,550
Okay, take me to it.
223
00:12:02,592 --> 00:12:04,216
There'll be no... no hums.
224
00:12:13,383 --> 00:12:17,091
Here we are. This is my special place.
225
00:12:17,092 --> 00:12:18,841
It's incredible, right?
226
00:12:18,842 --> 00:12:20,674
Yeah, it's beautiful.
227
00:12:20,675 --> 00:12:22,340
What are you doing?
228
00:12:22,341 --> 00:12:24,549
I'm getting down on bended knee for you.
229
00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:31,340
- Shit!
- You liar!
230
00:12:33,633 --> 00:12:35,049
God damn it!
231
00:12:44,842 --> 00:12:47,674
- Oh, Christ.
- Ow! Fuck!
232
00:12:47,675 --> 00:12:50,507
Gamby, you asshole!
I'm gonna go to graduation,
233
00:12:50,508 --> 00:12:53,465
- and I'm gonna fucking kill Snodgrass.
- Don't you dare.
234
00:12:53,466 --> 00:12:56,382
I'm doing it, so see ya.
235
00:12:56,383 --> 00:12:58,257
Have fun dying in a fucking hole.
236
00:12:58,258 --> 00:13:00,382
You fucking dumb bitch! You're crazy!
237
00:13:00,383 --> 00:13:03,175
I know I'm crazy,
'cause I fucking love you!
238
00:13:12,175 --> 00:13:16,799
Help! Help!
239
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,050
Help!
240
00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:22,674
- Help!
- Gamby?
241
00:13:22,675 --> 00:13:25,716
- Russell!
- Gamby!
242
00:13:25,717 --> 00:13:27,340
- Russell!
- Where are you?
243
00:13:27,341 --> 00:13:29,174
I'm in the bottom of a fucking hole!
244
00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:31,133
Well, I don't know
where the fucking hole is!
245
00:13:31,134 --> 00:13:33,717
Just follow my voice! Marco!
246
00:13:34,550 --> 00:13:37,674
- Marco!
- Oh, my God.
247
00:13:37,675 --> 00:13:39,094
I'm so glad you're not dead.
248
00:13:39,118 --> 00:13:41,008
Oh, my God, I'm so glad you're not dead.
249
00:13:41,009 --> 00:13:43,257
Jen's gonna kill Amanda.
We have to get to graduation.
250
00:13:43,258 --> 00:13:45,924
- Say you're sorry.
- For what?
251
00:13:45,925 --> 00:13:48,382
For not believing in our friendship.
252
00:13:48,383 --> 00:13:50,841
Jesus Christ.
253
00:13:50,842 --> 00:13:52,966
I'm sorry I didn't believe
in our friendship.
254
00:13:52,967 --> 00:13:55,049
- It was mean.
- Okay, it was mean.
255
00:13:55,050 --> 00:13:57,299
Now will you get the fucking
ladder and get me out of here?
256
00:13:57,300 --> 00:13:59,716
And stop telling me what to do.
257
00:13:59,717 --> 00:14:01,215
The ladder's in my tool shed!
258
00:14:01,216 --> 00:14:04,258
It's in my tool shed
above my computer printers!
259
00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:06,424
Thank you.
260
00:14:06,425 --> 00:14:09,340
One, two, three. Say, "Cheese."
261
00:14:09,341 --> 00:14:10,507
Cheese.
262
00:14:10,508 --> 00:14:12,757
That's crazy, seeing it up close.
263
00:14:12,758 --> 00:14:14,507
At least she ain't dangerous.
264
00:14:14,508 --> 00:14:17,382
What? She's a fucking tiger.
265
00:14:17,383 --> 00:14:19,008
Dangerous? Huh?
266
00:14:21,092 --> 00:14:22,549
Now, don't get it riled up now.
267
00:14:22,550 --> 00:14:24,883
Don't you look at me.
Don't you fucking look at me.
268
00:14:24,884 --> 00:14:26,424
What the hell is wrong?
Chill with that shit.
269
00:14:26,425 --> 00:14:29,924
Oh, hey, bro. This tiger will
eat your fucking face off.
270
00:14:29,925 --> 00:14:31,382
That's why we keep her in a cage.
271
00:14:31,383 --> 00:14:33,382
You do that shit one more
time, I'm hauling ass
272
00:14:33,383 --> 00:14:35,257
and leaving all y'all
motherfuckers up in here.
273
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,424
Remember, we want clothes
underneath those gowns.
274
00:14:40,425 --> 00:14:42,799
All right? No butts, Dave.
275
00:14:59,258 --> 00:15:01,883
- Smile. Big...
- Big smiles. This is an exciting day.
276
00:15:01,884 --> 00:15:03,299
- Hey.
- What are you doing?
277
00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:05,549
- Stupid. Break a leg, everybody!
- No beach balls.
278
00:15:05,550 --> 00:15:08,257
- Break a leg! Mm-hmm.
- Hold this a sec.
279
00:15:15,508 --> 00:15:16,757
Hey.
280
00:15:16,758 --> 00:15:19,507
- Hey. Hey, whoa, Jen.
- When did we stop being friends?
281
00:15:19,508 --> 00:15:22,924
Was it when you fucked Bill Hayden
when you knew I had feelings for him?
282
00:15:22,925 --> 00:15:24,591
I didn't know that you liked him.
283
00:15:24,592 --> 00:15:26,257
Or was it when you fucked Neal Gamby
284
00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:28,340
when you knew that he and I
were meant to be together?
285
00:15:28,341 --> 00:15:31,008
- Please help me remember.
- I don't really know what's going on.
286
00:15:31,009 --> 00:15:33,507
I'll tell you what's happening.
I'm about to make the news, bitch.
287
00:15:33,508 --> 00:15:35,632
- No, let's not.
- Snodgrass and Abbott,
288
00:15:35,633 --> 00:15:37,674
rivals since the year began.
289
00:15:37,675 --> 00:15:39,632
Oh, God!
290
00:15:41,967 --> 00:15:44,009
- You bitch!
- Get the fuck off of me!
291
00:15:45,383 --> 00:15:48,716
I'm gonna ruin that pretty
little face of yours.
292
00:15:48,741 --> 00:15:50,233
- Shit. Shit.
- It's okay. It's okay.
293
00:15:50,258 --> 00:15:52,757
Fuck. There's Abbott's car,
illegally parked.
294
00:15:52,758 --> 00:15:54,883
Maybe we should make it
so she can't use it to get away.
295
00:15:54,884 --> 00:15:57,215
- Good idea. Hold on.
- Oh, no.
296
00:15:57,216 --> 00:15:58,633
Oh, my God!
297
00:15:59,884 --> 00:16:02,049
Oh, my God. Well, I just meant
298
00:16:02,050 --> 00:16:04,966
maybe we should slash her tires
or something, but this is good.
299
00:16:16,717 --> 00:16:19,341
You little fucking mermaid.
300
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:23,134
Oh!
301
00:16:26,550 --> 00:16:27,675
Ow!
302
00:16:34,758 --> 00:16:38,424
A diagnosis like that
could've been career-ending.
303
00:16:38,425 --> 00:16:42,507
It could've sent my family
into a tailspin.
304
00:16:42,508 --> 00:16:44,591
That tiger does not look happy.
305
00:16:44,592 --> 00:16:46,591
I don't know why y'all trying
to put some shit in a cage.
306
00:16:46,592 --> 00:16:48,133
Whose idea was this, anyway?
307
00:16:48,134 --> 00:16:49,549
- What the fuck?
- Oh, my God.
308
00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:51,549
Holy smokes! God, are you okay?
309
00:16:51,550 --> 00:16:53,549
- Neal!
- Oh, my God. Fuck!
310
00:16:53,550 --> 00:16:55,008
I thought you were gonna be murdered.
311
00:16:55,009 --> 00:16:58,133
- Oh!
- Oh, fuck. I'm so happy to see you.
312
00:16:58,134 --> 00:17:00,174
- You too. Oh.
- Blood.
313
00:17:00,175 --> 00:17:03,549
Russell wasn't the shooter.
It was Abbott.
314
00:17:03,550 --> 00:17:05,049
She just tried to kill me.
315
00:17:05,050 --> 00:17:07,424
- Yeah, she tried to kill us too.
- I told you she was crazy.
316
00:17:07,425 --> 00:17:08,883
Lady, what the fuck?
317
00:17:08,884 --> 00:17:11,632
- Don't do that!
- If I can't have a beautiful life,
318
00:17:11,633 --> 00:17:14,174
at least I'll have a beautiful death.
319
00:17:14,175 --> 00:17:16,424
No, no, no.
320
00:17:16,425 --> 00:17:18,050
Fucking eat me!
321
00:17:19,258 --> 00:17:20,674
Oh, shit. Here it go.
322
00:17:20,675 --> 00:17:23,799
Stay perfectly still. If you
run, this fucker will chase you.
323
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,967
Eat me!
324
00:17:27,675 --> 00:17:30,799
Oh! Oh! Oh!
325
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,841
Go!
326
00:17:36,216 --> 00:17:38,133
How's this? Oh, do it. Come on!
327
00:17:38,134 --> 00:17:40,883
You open this fucking door!
328
00:17:40,884 --> 00:17:42,632
Come on!
329
00:17:46,092 --> 00:17:48,424
Close it! Close the thing! Oh!
330
00:17:48,425 --> 00:17:50,841
- What the fuck are we gonna do, Gamby?
- We're clear!
331
00:17:52,717 --> 00:17:55,133
Fuck this shit. I'm going home.
332
00:17:55,134 --> 00:17:57,674
Neal! Let me out of here!
333
00:17:57,699 --> 00:17:59,532
- Crazy bitch!
- What do we do about
334
00:17:59,556 --> 00:18:01,382
- all those people in graduation?
- Oh, God.
335
00:18:01,407 --> 00:18:03,757
Safety's always foremost
in the mind of a principal.
336
00:18:03,758 --> 00:18:06,215
Minimizing loss and injury
should be the first goal.
337
00:18:06,216 --> 00:18:07,507
We evacuate.
338
00:18:07,508 --> 00:18:10,340
...for my young son, my wife,
339
00:18:10,341 --> 00:18:12,424
but I refused to give in.
340
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:16,465
I worked too damn hard to let
this disease cut my time short,
341
00:18:16,466 --> 00:18:19,717
I knew I had to fight. I...
342
00:18:22,675 --> 00:18:26,340
- I knew that...
- Back up, back up. Back up, please.
343
00:18:26,341 --> 00:18:28,174
Everyone please remain calm.
344
00:18:28,175 --> 00:18:30,507
Faculty members,
if you would all please rise,
345
00:18:30,508 --> 00:18:34,049
and please get into the assigned
positions for a Code Orange.
346
00:18:34,050 --> 00:18:36,841
This is not a drill.
There has been an incident.
347
00:18:36,842 --> 00:18:39,382
Students, please. Stay calm. Sit down.
348
00:18:39,383 --> 00:18:41,674
I didn't say... no!
Don't tell people to stand.
349
00:18:41,675 --> 00:18:44,424
That is not what we do in a Code Orange!
What the fuck, Delores?
350
00:18:44,425 --> 00:18:47,091
Who the hell do you think you are,
messing up my son's graduation?
351
00:18:47,092 --> 00:18:48,722
Oh, okay, you know what?
This isn't really
352
00:18:48,747 --> 00:18:50,049
a question-answer thing right now,
353
00:18:50,050 --> 00:18:51,841
because this is a serious situation.
354
00:18:51,842 --> 00:18:56,215
But if you must know, a woman that
I had secret sexual relations with
355
00:18:56,216 --> 00:18:59,883
pretty much the whole entire
school year tried to murder me.
356
00:18:59,884 --> 00:19:02,382
She shot me at the end of last semester,
357
00:19:02,383 --> 00:19:04,299
then returned to finish me off here,
358
00:19:04,300 --> 00:19:08,133
and also tried to kill my very
dear friend, Lee Russell,
359
00:19:08,134 --> 00:19:11,424
and my new girlfriend, Amanda Snodgrass.
360
00:19:11,425 --> 00:19:13,424
- Hey.
- Hey, baby.
361
00:19:13,425 --> 00:19:16,591
And the woman also let out the tiger
362
00:19:16,592 --> 00:19:18,257
that many of you
were taking pictures with,
363
00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:20,008
and he ate a person.
364
00:19:20,009 --> 00:19:23,424
Uh, uh, relax, it's okay.
The situation is under control,
365
00:19:23,425 --> 00:19:25,757
and the tiger is contained,
so we're good.
366
00:19:25,758 --> 00:19:30,465
All we have to do now is evacuate
safely and make sure nobody gets hurt.
367
00:19:30,466 --> 00:19:32,549
We're gonna use these side doors,
368
00:19:32,550 --> 00:19:35,674
because out those doors,
the carnivorous creature roams.
369
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:38,008
Without further ado, as the acting
370
00:19:38,055 --> 00:19:40,049
principal of North Jackson High School,
371
00:19:40,050 --> 00:19:42,091
it is with great honor that I begin
372
00:19:42,092 --> 00:19:45,424
the evacuation of this graduation.
373
00:20:17,258 --> 00:20:19,591
Man, that tiger ate the shit
out of that trainer.
374
00:20:19,592 --> 00:20:21,716
Yeah, I got EMT and Animal
Control on the way.
375
00:20:21,717 --> 00:20:23,632
Crisis averted! Ah!
376
00:20:23,633 --> 00:20:25,841
It seems like we got
everybody out of the school.
377
00:20:25,842 --> 00:20:27,465
You gonna put me in a cage,
you blonde bitch?
378
00:20:27,466 --> 00:20:29,049
Oh, will you shut the fuck up?
379
00:20:29,050 --> 00:20:30,465
Oh, damn.
380
00:20:30,466 --> 00:20:32,507
She hit that button.
381
00:20:32,508 --> 00:20:34,008
- No, she didn't.
- Yes, she did.
382
00:20:35,425 --> 00:20:37,757
Here she comes!
383
00:20:37,758 --> 00:20:39,674
She's gonna eat your fucking face off.
384
00:20:39,699 --> 00:20:41,259
- What are we running for?
- What?
385
00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:43,799
- I can end this right here.
- Yes, shoot his ass.
386
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:45,049
- You want some?
- No.
387
00:20:45,050 --> 00:20:46,424
- Yes.
- Not like that.
388
00:20:46,425 --> 00:20:49,133
- Put the gun down.
- Oh. What the fuck are you doing?
389
00:20:49,134 --> 00:20:52,841
Shh. I'm harmonizing.
390
00:20:52,842 --> 00:20:55,215
With the tiger?
391
00:20:55,216 --> 00:20:59,508
Learning that the truth
can set a man free.
392
00:21:03,341 --> 00:21:04,883
I'm mastering myself,
393
00:21:04,884 --> 00:21:09,008
becoming one with the world around me.
394
00:21:09,009 --> 00:21:12,383
I've already defied death once today.
395
00:21:13,508 --> 00:21:14,592
I will do it again.
396
00:21:16,009 --> 00:21:18,008
Just relax, brother.
397
00:21:18,009 --> 00:21:21,632
I, too, have been where you are.
398
00:21:21,633 --> 00:21:22,924
Stand down.
399
00:21:24,009 --> 00:21:25,717
- Oh, shit!
- Yes!
400
00:21:29,967 --> 00:21:31,757
The fucking tiger's eating Russell!
401
00:21:31,758 --> 00:21:34,841
Goddamn battle cat's loose in the school!
402
00:21:34,842 --> 00:21:36,883
Run! Get the fuck outta here!
403
00:21:36,884 --> 00:21:38,466
Russell!
404
00:21:42,216 --> 00:21:43,466
Russell!
405
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:49,549
Oh, my God. Fuck.
406
00:21:49,550 --> 00:21:51,549
Shithead got a piece of me.
407
00:21:51,550 --> 00:21:52,841
Don't move, okay?
408
00:21:52,842 --> 00:21:55,799
Uh, just... just save your energy.
409
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:58,549
I can't believe I got ate by a tiger.
410
00:21:58,550 --> 00:22:00,674
Are you fucking kidding me?
411
00:22:00,675 --> 00:22:03,757
- It's insane.
- Oh, I can see it now.
412
00:22:03,758 --> 00:22:07,133
"A principal gets eaten
by a fucking tiger,
413
00:22:07,134 --> 00:22:08,799
a mascot of the school."
414
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:12,424
I always wanted press,
but god, this is so stupid.
415
00:22:12,425 --> 00:22:15,257
Shh, shh, shh. Just save your energy.
Don't talk, okay?
416
00:22:15,258 --> 00:22:16,632
Well, if I die right now, Gamby,
417
00:22:16,633 --> 00:22:19,757
I sure as hell don't wanna
be staring at you just silently.
418
00:22:19,758 --> 00:22:21,925
Okay, that's fair enough.
419
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:25,842
This is the favorite year of...
420
00:22:27,092 --> 00:22:28,550
of my whole life.
421
00:22:30,425 --> 00:22:33,049
- Mine too.
- I know what we did was wrong,
422
00:22:33,050 --> 00:22:35,175
but... I liked it.
423
00:22:36,592 --> 00:22:38,009
It was fun.
424
00:22:39,300 --> 00:22:41,591
- Yeah, it was fun.
- Yeah.
425
00:22:41,592 --> 00:22:44,383
It gave us a chance
to get to know each other.
426
00:22:45,300 --> 00:22:48,299
Let us become friends.
427
00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:50,341
Never had a friend
like you before, Russell.
428
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:53,800
I love you, Gamby.
429
00:22:55,300 --> 00:22:57,133
You're my friend too, man.
430
00:22:57,134 --> 00:22:59,133
You fucking what?
431
00:22:59,134 --> 00:23:02,133
Come on, man.
Just... just fucking say it.
432
00:23:02,134 --> 00:23:03,966
Honestly we're here, just say it.
433
00:23:03,967 --> 00:23:05,841
Say what? I told you that
you're my friend too.
434
00:23:05,842 --> 00:23:08,465
Oh, I just told you
that I fucking love you.
435
00:23:08,466 --> 00:23:11,049
Okay, I heard you. I just don't
say that to my male friends.
436
00:23:11,050 --> 00:23:13,799
I only say that to superhot
babes and to my family.
437
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:16,008
Jesus. I'm about to die, motherfucker.
438
00:23:16,009 --> 00:23:18,091
- You're not gonna die, Russell.
- I am.
439
00:23:18,092 --> 00:23:21,799
I'm gonna fucking bleed out on
this stupid fucking school floor.
440
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:22,966
Okay, fine, fine.
441
00:23:22,967 --> 00:23:25,174
Say it.
442
00:23:25,175 --> 00:23:27,008
- I...
- Hey.
443
00:23:27,009 --> 00:23:28,091
Look at me.
444
00:23:28,092 --> 00:23:29,757
Look at me.
445
00:23:29,758 --> 00:23:33,717
Now... just... say it.
446
00:23:35,009 --> 00:23:36,883
I love you, Russell.
447
00:23:36,884 --> 00:23:38,592
One more time.
448
00:23:40,009 --> 00:23:41,340
I love you.
449
00:23:44,300 --> 00:23:46,009
I love you too, Gamby.
450
00:23:54,675 --> 00:23:57,091
Oh. She's back.
451
00:23:57,092 --> 00:24:00,091
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
- I fucking hate tigers.
452
00:24:00,092 --> 00:24:02,757
Buddy, just go, just get
out of here. Honestly.
453
00:24:02,758 --> 00:24:04,174
Just save yourself, okay?
454
00:24:04,175 --> 00:24:07,717
No, Russell. I'm not gonna
leave you in here by yourself.
455
00:24:09,633 --> 00:24:11,799
Fuck this $25,000 tiger.
456
00:24:20,050 --> 00:24:22,424
Fucking cock-sucking fucking tiger.
457
00:24:22,425 --> 00:24:24,382
You're gonna eat my fucking friend?
458
00:24:24,383 --> 00:24:28,134
Well, bitch...
459
00:24:33,050 --> 00:24:34,175
Fuck you!
460
00:25:41,659 --> 00:25:44,733
_
461
00:25:52,009 --> 00:25:54,091
- Don't be nervous.
- I'm not.
462
00:25:54,092 --> 00:25:56,133
High school is very intimidating, okay?
463
00:25:56,134 --> 00:25:58,257
But you'll get used to it.
You'll learn to survive
464
00:25:58,258 --> 00:26:01,299
and then you'll leave. That's
how life works, sweetheart.
465
00:26:01,300 --> 00:26:04,257
- I know. I'm excited.
- Well, watch that as well.
466
00:26:04,258 --> 00:26:06,549
You don't wanna go in here
with super-high expectations
467
00:26:06,550 --> 00:26:07,966
then you shit the bed and don't like it,
468
00:26:07,967 --> 00:26:09,424
because it's not like a teen movie.
469
00:26:09,425 --> 00:26:12,091
- It's real life. It's tough.
- Wish you still worked here.
470
00:26:12,092 --> 00:26:15,050
You'll be in good hands.
471
00:26:17,466 --> 00:26:20,675
Shamrocks. What a lame mascot.
472
00:26:23,341 --> 00:26:25,508
- I love you, sweetheart.
- I love you too.
473
00:26:27,258 --> 00:26:30,340
- Good luck.
- Good luck with your first day, too.
474
00:26:40,134 --> 00:26:41,466
Hmm.
475
00:27:17,693 --> 00:27:18,717
Hey, how's it going?
476
00:27:18,718 --> 00:27:20,592
Neal Gamby. I'm the new principal.
477
00:27:25,717 --> 00:27:27,883
- Yoo-hoo. Am I in the wrong office?
- Oh! No.
478
00:27:27,884 --> 00:27:30,340
Sorry. No, this is your office.
I'm Vice Principal Miggs.
479
00:27:30,341 --> 00:27:33,215
I just was seeing what it was like
to sit in this chair, you know?
480
00:27:33,216 --> 00:27:34,841
Yeah, no reason to apologize.
481
00:27:34,842 --> 00:27:36,924
Pleasure to meet you. Why don't
you hop on out of there?
482
00:27:36,925 --> 00:27:38,091
Oh. Yes, sir.
483
00:27:39,425 --> 00:27:42,799
So, Vice Principal Miggs, huh?
484
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,091
- Yes.
- Well, I'm Neal Gamby.
485
00:27:45,116 --> 00:27:46,586
- Hello.
- So,
486
00:27:46,587 --> 00:27:48,281
what's the story
with the old principal here?
487
00:27:48,306 --> 00:27:52,049
He was a bit of a banana, so we're
very happy to see you, sir.
488
00:27:52,050 --> 00:27:53,835
Mmm.
489
00:27:53,860 --> 00:27:55,904
Do you mind if I shoot you straight
right out of the gate?
490
00:27:55,928 --> 00:27:57,295
Please.
491
00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:00,091
I'm the new sheriff in town,
and you're my deputy,
492
00:28:00,092 --> 00:28:02,591
and if we want this school
to function properly,
493
00:28:02,592 --> 00:28:05,299
well, we're gonna have
to work together as a team.
494
00:28:05,300 --> 00:28:06,591
Simpatico.
495
00:28:06,592 --> 00:28:09,949
Now, I'm not really sure
what your ambitions are,
496
00:28:10,050 --> 00:28:11,957
but from the looks of it,
I can imagine they
497
00:28:12,004 --> 00:28:13,841
probably have something
to do with this chair.
498
00:28:13,842 --> 00:28:16,799
And that's cool. I understand that.
499
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:19,133
But for now, this is my chair.
500
00:28:19,134 --> 00:28:23,299
This throne belongs to me,
and if you choose to defy me,
501
00:28:23,300 --> 00:28:25,902
I'll feed you to the fucking sharks.
502
00:28:26,136 --> 00:28:28,425
Do I make myself clear?
503
00:28:29,967 --> 00:28:32,768
- Loud and clear, boss.
- Now, if you just give me a moment
504
00:28:32,793 --> 00:28:34,215
to set some things up, we can begin.
505
00:28:34,216 --> 00:28:35,758
Yes, sir.
506
00:28:37,717 --> 00:28:40,092
The door... open or closed?
507
00:28:41,717 --> 00:28:43,092
Open.
508
00:28:56,967 --> 00:29:00,592
You look so good in this, girl. Enjoy.
509
00:29:03,300 --> 00:29:05,174
I'm gonna go have a smoke.
510
00:29:05,175 --> 00:29:08,674
- Oh. You so crazy.
- What are you talking about?
511
00:29:08,675 --> 00:29:11,008
Well, you take damn four
bathroom breaks an hour.
512
00:29:11,009 --> 00:29:12,674
Now you're gonna throw in
smoking breaks too?
513
00:29:12,675 --> 00:29:13,860
No, hell you're not, little girl.
514
00:29:13,892 --> 00:29:15,340
Get your ass back behind this register.
515
00:29:15,341 --> 00:29:17,507
- Excuse me?
- Excuse me.
516
00:29:17,508 --> 00:29:21,632
I am the regional manager
of all Apricot Lane Boutiques.
517
00:29:21,633 --> 00:29:24,174
Above you. Now, you
wanna start something?
518
00:29:24,175 --> 00:29:26,008
Create a little commotion right now?
519
00:29:26,009 --> 00:29:28,924
I will make your ass straight
disappear, just vaporize...
520
00:29:28,925 --> 00:29:31,841
you and that 30% discount
you get on all your clothes.
521
00:29:31,842 --> 00:29:34,757
Say something, it's gone.
All of it, gone.
522
00:29:34,758 --> 00:29:35,842
Okay.
523
00:29:37,508 --> 00:29:40,133
Now cover me. I'm gonna go have a smoke.
524
00:29:42,050 --> 00:29:44,841
"The wizard marched out of his kingdom.
525
00:29:44,842 --> 00:29:48,133
"Not the one he desired,
but the one he earned.
526
00:29:48,268 --> 00:29:51,924
"And the warrior,
finding peace within himself
527
00:29:52,057 --> 00:29:55,050
"finally found the treasure
he was searching for.
528
00:29:56,300 --> 00:29:59,133
"The kingdom was lost,
but across galaxies
529
00:29:59,194 --> 00:30:01,049
"and across dimensions,
530
00:30:01,108 --> 00:30:03,716
"a friendship was forged
between good and evil,
531
00:30:03,795 --> 00:30:06,925
"the likes of which this land
had never seen...
532
00:30:08,009 --> 00:30:09,258
nor would see again."
533
00:30:12,550 --> 00:30:13,884
Thank you.
534
00:30:16,925 --> 00:30:18,618
Thank you so much.
535
00:30:18,861 --> 00:30:19,931
- No, way.
- I think they thought...
536
00:30:19,955 --> 00:30:20,889
that the book was awesome.
537
00:30:20,914 --> 00:30:22,233
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
538
00:30:22,258 --> 00:30:24,757
- God, I hope so.
- The cover's not too bad.
539
00:30:24,758 --> 00:30:26,591
I'm stoked that my dad is
coming to the next reading.
540
00:30:26,592 --> 00:30:30,091
- Mmm, good.
- Are you nervous about meeting him?
541
00:30:30,116 --> 00:30:31,608
- No.
- I think it'll be fun.
542
00:30:31,633 --> 00:30:35,257
He's pretty laid back. Do you
know that he likes to get high?
543
00:30:35,258 --> 00:30:37,841
He's a really nice guy.
He might come at you
544
00:30:37,866 --> 00:30:39,532
pretty quick and hard...
544
00:30:40,305 --> 00:30:46,178
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