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1
00:00:05,417 --> 00:00:08,260
From the outside, you can see
we're just your average family.
2
00:00:08,340 --> 00:00:10,258
Sure, we're a little disorganized.
3
00:00:10,338 --> 00:00:11,901
Is that the garbage truck?
4
00:00:13,475 --> 00:00:14,582
What time is it?
5
00:00:16,191 --> 00:00:18,042
Mike, did you take out the trash?
6
00:00:18,122 --> 00:00:19,893
It's Axl's turn.
7
00:00:25,255 --> 00:00:28,516
Trash day! Bring out your trash!
8
00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:30,945
Come on, guys, move!
Trash truck's a block away!
9
00:00:31,025 --> 00:00:33,748
Okay, okay, I know it probably
looks a little insane
10
00:00:33,828 --> 00:00:36,126
to be so nuts about trash day, but see,
11
00:00:36,206 --> 00:00:37,968
due to recent cutbacks, trash pickup
12
00:00:38,048 --> 00:00:39,759
only happens once every two weeks.
13
00:00:39,839 --> 00:00:41,609
If you miss it, you're screwed.
14
00:00:41,689 --> 00:00:43,486
We're never gonna make it!
15
00:00:46,255 --> 00:00:47,682
Brick, what are you doing under there?
16
00:00:47,762 --> 00:00:49,559
I'm tired of sleeping with Axl.
17
00:00:49,639 --> 00:00:52,353
His bed's always squeaking.
I want my own room.
18
00:00:52,433 --> 00:00:54,402
How long have you been
sleeping under there?
19
00:00:54,482 --> 00:00:56,322
- A month.
- Alright, whatever.
20
00:00:56,402 --> 00:00:57,775
Just get rid of your trash.
21
00:00:59,782 --> 00:01:02,818
You know, I don't understand
why nobody obeys the chore chart.
22
00:01:02,898 --> 00:01:04,323
'Axl was supposed
to take out the garbage.'
23
00:01:04,403 --> 00:01:05,802
Sue was supposed to clean up last night.
24
00:01:05,882 --> 00:01:07,947
I mean, why do we even
bother making a chore chart
25
00:01:08,027 --> 00:01:09,556
if nobody pays any attention to it?
26
00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:11,639
- There's nothing on it!
- 'Yeah.'
27
00:01:11,719 --> 00:01:13,940
Because I haven't bought
the dry-erase markers yet.
28
00:01:14,020 --> 00:01:17,710
But it's all up here and you're
supposed to remember what I told you.
29
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,758
I swear, I spend my whole
life cleaning up other people's crap.
30
00:01:22,346 --> 00:01:26,065
- Oww!
- Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
31
00:01:27,224 --> 00:01:28,927
- Are you alright?
- Hey, guys.
32
00:01:29,007 --> 00:01:30,544
The truck's passing the Donahues'.
33
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:32,638
- Mom hit me with a beer bottle.
- What?
34
00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:35,249
Brick, don't tell people that.
It sounds horrible.
35
00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:37,533
I was tossing it to Sue
and Brick got in the way.
36
00:01:37,613 --> 00:01:39,263
Let me see that. No, you're fine.
37
00:01:39,343 --> 00:01:42,343
- He's alright?
- Yeah. Barely even a scratch.
38
00:01:42,423 --> 00:01:44,496
He's not bleeding or anything.
I'm sorry, honey.
39
00:01:44,841 --> 00:01:46,969
Darn. I wanted a Band-Aid.
40
00:01:47,049 --> 00:01:48,681
Can I put a Band-Aid on anyway?
41
00:01:48,761 --> 00:01:50,939
I wanna use the new Super Mario ones.
42
00:01:51,328 --> 00:01:52,773
Super Mario.
43
00:01:52,853 --> 00:01:54,736
Okay, that's fine, honey. Mike, come on!
44
00:01:54,816 --> 00:01:56,924
We can do this!
We can do this! Hurry up!
45
00:01:57,097 --> 00:01:58,602
We did it! We made...
46
00:02:04,198 --> 00:02:07,528
The day started off
lousy and then it got weird.
47
00:02:07,608 --> 00:02:09,898
So out of the goodness of my heart
48
00:02:09,978 --> 00:02:11,697
I'm gonna reach into my own wallet
49
00:02:11,777 --> 00:02:14,499
and instead of buying
that second pontoon boat
50
00:02:14,579 --> 00:02:17,716
I'm gonna spend the money
on buying some TV ad time.
51
00:02:18,434 --> 00:02:21,090
I decided to dust off my old commercial
52
00:02:21,332 --> 00:02:25,501
from when we were up to
our jockstraps in good times.
53
00:02:25,691 --> 00:02:29,678
Help, help!
I'm being assaulted by high prices.
54
00:02:30,119 --> 00:02:34,003
Just keep cool, little lady.
I'm Don Ehlert of Ehlert Motors
55
00:02:34,083 --> 00:02:36,564
and they're not gonna
get away with that on my lot.
56
00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:43,362
I'm shooting down high prices.
57
00:02:46,951 --> 00:02:48,231
And bad service.
58
00:02:56,100 --> 00:02:57,622
Uh, uh, Mr. Ehlert...
59
00:02:58,504 --> 00:03:01,531
...you can't run that commercial.
60
00:03:01,611 --> 00:03:04,152
- It's racist.
- What are you talking about?
61
00:03:04,428 --> 00:03:06,270
I'm shooting high prices.
62
00:03:06,712 --> 00:03:08,511
It's racist to shoot high prices?
63
00:03:08,591 --> 00:03:12,472
When high prices is,
is a black man, yes, sir.
64
00:03:12,552 --> 00:03:15,403
I just think maybe if
you made a new commercial
65
00:03:15,483 --> 00:03:19,217
you might appeal to an
entirely new group of people.
66
00:03:19,297 --> 00:03:21,837
You know, young people.
67
00:03:22,209 --> 00:03:23,800
Non-racists.
68
00:03:24,420 --> 00:03:26,377
You two write me up a new commercial
69
00:03:26,457 --> 00:03:28,647
and have it on my desk tomorrow morning.
70
00:03:30,247 --> 00:03:33,922
'Frankie, you have a call on line one.'
71
00:03:34,002 --> 00:03:37,414
'Your son Brick's
school is on line one.'
72
00:03:37,494 --> 00:03:40,787
Well, I'm working too.
Besides, it's your turn.
73
00:03:40,867 --> 00:03:42,906
I went down to the school
when Axl pantsed the band kids.
74
00:03:42,986 --> 00:03:44,743
I did Sue and the squirrel attack.
75
00:03:44,823 --> 00:03:45,964
Brick and the chalk-chewing.
76
00:03:46,044 --> 00:03:47,478
Brick and the lying down in class.
77
00:03:47,558 --> 00:03:48,840
Brick and the beeping in class.
78
00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:51,954
Brick and the howling in class.
Brick and the...
79
00:03:52,034 --> 00:03:53,121
Hi, I'm Brick Heck's dad.
80
00:03:53,201 --> 00:03:54,970
What did he do this time?
Forget his lunch?
81
00:03:55,050 --> 00:03:56,851
We were in kind of a hurry this morning.
82
00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:00,230
Thank you.
83
00:04:03,241 --> 00:04:05,282
- You tell me.
84
00:04:05,567 --> 00:04:08,940
I hear your wife got a little rough
with your son this morning.
85
00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:11,854
What? Are you joking?
86
00:04:11,934 --> 00:04:13,515
You guys strippers or something?
87
00:04:13,688 --> 00:04:15,012
No, I'm afraid not.
88
00:04:15,092 --> 00:04:16,914
'We got a call from the hall monitor.'
89
00:04:16,994 --> 00:04:19,025
He said that your, your son told him
90
00:04:19,105 --> 00:04:21,334
that his mother hit
him with a beer bottle.
91
00:04:21,414 --> 00:04:22,363
Oh!
92
00:04:22,977 --> 00:04:24,153
Hi, dad!
93
00:04:29,214 --> 00:04:31,921
Guys, this is all
a huge misunderstanding.
94
00:04:32,001 --> 00:04:33,884
- It was an accident.
- Relax, Mr. Heck.
95
00:04:33,964 --> 00:04:36,402
Just stay calm.
When parents are stressed
96
00:04:36,575 --> 00:04:38,166
lapses in judgment can occur.
97
00:04:38,330 --> 00:04:39,481
Tell me about it.
98
00:04:39,561 --> 00:04:41,340
We should never have let Brick anywhere
99
00:04:41,420 --> 00:04:42,992
near the first-aid kit.
100
00:04:53,647 --> 00:04:55,515
It's tiny. It's not even a scratch.
101
00:04:55,595 --> 00:04:57,020
Here, Brick, unwrap it and show 'em.
102
00:04:57,100 --> 00:05:00,012
Sir, we can't allow you
to talk directly to your son.
103
00:05:00,092 --> 00:05:04,691
- What? Is this for real?
- Oh, it was for real, alright.
104
00:05:05,132 --> 00:05:08,479
It started with the bandage
and then just snowballed from there.
105
00:05:08,559 --> 00:05:11,636
It didn't help that there
was a new hall monitor at school.
106
00:05:11,716 --> 00:05:13,919
Hey, buddy. What happened to your arm?
107
00:05:13,999 --> 00:05:16,488
- I'm not supposed to tell.
- What do you mean?
108
00:05:16,568 --> 00:05:18,212
My mom says I'm not supposed to tell.
109
00:05:18,292 --> 00:05:21,505
Well, if something happened at home
you have to tell a grown-up.
110
00:05:21,585 --> 00:05:24,127
Okay. My mom hit me with a beer bottle.
111
00:05:24,207 --> 00:05:27,289
She was mad and my dad was
mad and I always get in the way.
112
00:05:27,724 --> 00:05:29,530
You can see how this sounded.
113
00:05:29,610 --> 00:05:32,546
Everyone could see how
it sounded except Brick.
114
00:05:32,968 --> 00:05:35,030
And once a teacher
hears something like that
115
00:05:35,110 --> 00:05:37,382
he's legally required to report it.
116
00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:41,154
Now I realize this may be uncomfortable
for you to talk about, Mr. Heck
117
00:05:41,234 --> 00:05:44,412
but has your wife ever
been physically abusive to you?
118
00:05:44,492 --> 00:05:45,532
Are you kidding?
119
00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:47,698
She's, like, 5 feet tall.
I could kick her ass.
120
00:05:47,778 --> 00:05:50,272
And do you ever kick her ass?
121
00:05:50,352 --> 00:05:52,680
No. No, of course not.
122
00:05:54,113 --> 00:05:55,794
- Oh, Mike. Got your message.
- Hi, honey.
123
00:05:55,874 --> 00:05:57,302
Look it. See how little she is?
124
00:05:57,382 --> 00:05:58,831
- T-take your shoes off, hon.
- Oh.
125
00:05:59,094 --> 00:06:02,339
Sorry, mom,
you told me not to tell, but I told.
126
00:06:02,838 --> 00:06:06,083
- Don't be mad.
- Mad? No! Why would I be mad?
127
00:06:06,163 --> 00:06:08,291
I am never mad. Never, ever, ever.
128
00:06:09,025 --> 00:06:11,135
This is all a huge misunderstanding.
129
00:06:11,215 --> 00:06:14,338
The beer bottle hit
him when I tossed it gently.
130
00:06:14,418 --> 00:06:15,756
Just, oh, so gently.
131
00:06:15,836 --> 00:06:18,005
And do you often drink in the morning?
132
00:06:18,085 --> 00:06:20,296
No, I think that was
my husband's beer bottle.
133
00:06:20,538 --> 00:06:22,704
'Mr. Heck, you're the
one who drinks in the morning?'
134
00:06:22,784 --> 00:06:25,548
Uh, no. God, this is ridiculous.
135
00:06:25,628 --> 00:06:28,335
Look, hey,
you know what, we have a teenage son
136
00:06:28,415 --> 00:06:30,494
that is a huge pain in the butt.
137
00:06:30,574 --> 00:06:32,155
Don't you think if
we wanted to abuse somebody
138
00:06:32,235 --> 00:06:33,469
we would have abused him?
139
00:06:33,669 --> 00:06:36,921
Officer McCoy,
if I could, please, step in here?
140
00:06:37,336 --> 00:06:39,467
I have known this family for years.
141
00:06:39,547 --> 00:06:40,824
Years and years and years.
142
00:06:40,904 --> 00:06:43,052
And although they don't
help with fundraisers--
143
00:06:43,132 --> 00:06:45,273
- We work.
- 'Or Teacher Appreciation Day'
144
00:06:45,353 --> 00:06:48,926
or the back-to-school picnic
'they are a good family.'
145
00:06:51,112 --> 00:06:54,233
Well, since the principal
feels so strongly about this
146
00:06:54,461 --> 00:06:56,648
we'll release him
back into your custody.
147
00:06:57,830 --> 00:07:00,418
Thank you. Thank you so much.
148
00:07:00,498 --> 00:07:03,331
Okay. So we're all done here?
Everything's cleared up?
149
00:07:03,411 --> 00:07:04,964
Oh, no. You're in the system now.
150
00:07:05,044 --> 00:07:06,728
'A social worker will
be coming by your house'
151
00:07:06,808 --> 00:07:08,146
'to make an official evaluation.'
152
00:07:11,655 --> 00:07:14,934
You know all those times you wished
someone would come and take your kids away?
153
00:07:15,121 --> 00:07:18,311
Well, the reality isn't
really as great as the fantasy.
154
00:07:18,391 --> 00:07:22,296
So the social worker's coming tomorrow
afternoon for the home visit.
155
00:07:22,589 --> 00:07:25,273
So if I tell the social
worker that you hit me too
156
00:07:25,494 --> 00:07:29,106
does that mean that I can, like,
trade up to a better foster family or...
157
00:07:29,299 --> 00:07:32,766
Shut up, shut up, shut up!
They're gonna split us up!
158
00:07:32,938 --> 00:07:34,813
They're gonna take us away!
159
00:07:34,893 --> 00:07:37,374
Relax. Nobody's taking anybody anywhere.
160
00:07:37,454 --> 00:07:40,300
This is a formality,
so they can sign their paperwork.
161
00:07:40,380 --> 00:07:41,469
'We're gonna answer their questions.'
162
00:07:41,549 --> 00:07:43,358
Brick's gonna tell
them what really happened
163
00:07:43,438 --> 00:07:46,258
and they're gonna see what
a normal family we really are.
164
00:07:47,074 --> 00:07:49,301
Can I have dinner
here in my room tonight?
165
00:07:49,876 --> 00:07:51,875
And at that moment, it dawned on us
166
00:07:51,955 --> 00:07:54,629
that our future rested in Brick's hands.
167
00:07:54,709 --> 00:07:56,269
God help us.
168
00:07:56,649 --> 00:08:00,144
So, Brick,
your dad and I thought it might be fun
169
00:08:00,224 --> 00:08:02,239
to have a little practice
run at some of the questions
170
00:08:02,319 --> 00:08:03,852
the social worker might ask you.
171
00:08:04,267 --> 00:08:05,879
- Sprinkles?
- Okay.
172
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,051
- Okay.
- There you go.
173
00:08:08,131 --> 00:08:10,549
So for example, uh, what would you say
174
00:08:10,629 --> 00:08:12,659
if she asked you if
your mom ever hits you?
175
00:08:12,739 --> 00:08:16,285
- Not deliberately.
- Okay, that's a good answer.
176
00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:18,354
But you know what's a good answer too?
177
00:08:19,088 --> 00:08:20,008
No.
178
00:08:20,844 --> 00:08:22,685
Just...no.
179
00:08:23,183 --> 00:08:25,134
No is good.
Keep it brief. Keep it simple.
180
00:08:25,214 --> 00:08:27,957
Okay, I'll just tell her
whatever you tell me I should say.
181
00:08:28,421 --> 00:08:31,334
Well, you wouldn't want her
to think that we're coaching you.
182
00:08:31,414 --> 00:08:34,357
- But aren't you coaching me?
- What, this? No.
183
00:08:35,070 --> 00:08:37,630
This isn't coaching.
No, we're just practicing.
184
00:08:38,578 --> 00:08:40,315
Okay, so to recap
185
00:08:40,682 --> 00:08:44,363
if she asks you if we were coaching you,
you would say...
186
00:08:44,550 --> 00:08:46,113
- Yes.
- Gosh.
187
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:48,134
You know, I think you could say no
188
00:08:48,214 --> 00:08:50,639
for that question too.
What do you think?
189
00:08:50,719 --> 00:08:52,659
I'm liking no as a go-to answer.
190
00:08:52,739 --> 00:08:55,282
So you're telling me to lie? Okay.
191
00:08:55,362 --> 00:08:58,555
No, no, no.
Nobody is telling you to lie.
192
00:08:58,721 --> 00:09:02,022
I think we're just
bending the immediate truth
193
00:09:02,102 --> 00:09:04,367
just a teeny, teeny bit
194
00:09:04,623 --> 00:09:08,180
to get to the truth
that is the true truth.
195
00:09:09,038 --> 00:09:10,436
- You understand?
- No.
196
00:09:10,516 --> 00:09:11,882
- You don't?
- I don't know.
197
00:09:11,962 --> 00:09:14,150
But you said no was my go-to answer.
198
00:09:14,358 --> 00:09:16,032
Can I go watch TV now?
199
00:09:16,426 --> 00:09:17,305
Sure.
200
00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:21,616
What do you think?
201
00:09:21,696 --> 00:09:23,705
I hope he goes to a nice family.
202
00:09:25,711 --> 00:09:29,212
Well, I wasn't the only one stuck
in a scary situation I didn't deserve.
203
00:09:29,292 --> 00:09:31,468
Alright,
let's get this show on the road.
204
00:09:31,849 --> 00:09:32,831
Where's Frances?
205
00:09:33,143 --> 00:09:36,526
Umm, actually,
she had some, uh, family issues.
206
00:09:36,606 --> 00:09:39,577
And I know she's lied in the past
and said she had some family issues
207
00:09:39,657 --> 00:09:41,819
but this time she really does.
208
00:09:41,899 --> 00:09:43,894
- Alright, let's kick this pig.
- Okay.
209
00:09:45,604 --> 00:09:46,725
Action!
210
00:09:47,251 --> 00:09:49,222
And down here, we got...
211
00:09:49,942 --> 00:09:50,910
Damn it.
212
00:09:51,284 --> 00:09:52,786
And down here, we got...
213
00:09:52,866 --> 00:09:54,924
What the hell is my hand doing?
214
00:09:55,338 --> 00:09:56,383
Doesn't feel natural.
215
00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:58,327
I don't know what
to do with my damn hand.
216
00:09:58,611 --> 00:10:00,133
And down here, we've got the...
217
00:10:00,213 --> 00:10:01,794
That's not right, is it? Uh...
218
00:10:02,098 --> 00:10:02,998
And down...
219
00:10:03,178 --> 00:10:04,451
Oh, screw this!
220
00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:05,759
What are you lookin' at?
221
00:10:06,229 --> 00:10:06,990
Quiet!
222
00:10:07,557 --> 00:10:10,706
Ehlert Motors,
where your every need will be...
223
00:10:11,052 --> 00:10:12,830
Where your every need will...
224
00:10:13,211 --> 00:10:14,048
Ah!
225
00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:15,135
This...
226
00:10:16,242 --> 00:10:18,871
This is your fault.
The words you wrote are clumsy.
227
00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:20,255
They don't roll off the tongue.
228
00:10:20,335 --> 00:10:21,950
- Umm...
- Yeah, like this.
229
00:10:22,303 --> 00:10:24,607
- What the hell is that?
- Vehicle?
230
00:10:24,687 --> 00:10:27,044
Yeah, that's fancy.
I don't talk like that.
231
00:10:27,124 --> 00:10:30,012
Aah! Are you gonna help me
or are you gonna just stand there?
232
00:10:31,485 --> 00:10:33,519
So the day of the social
worker visit had arrived
233
00:10:33,599 --> 00:10:35,872
and we all pulled together
to make a good impression.
234
00:10:37,815 --> 00:10:39,392
- How do I look?
- Take that off.
235
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:40,956
Damn it, Axl, take it off!
236
00:10:41,371 --> 00:10:44,194
- Don't hit me.
- Not funny, Axl. Not funny.
237
00:10:48,450 --> 00:10:51,646
- Hey, why are you crying?
- I'm just so scared.
238
00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:55,680
Honey, I'm gonna give you a piece
of advice that my dad gave me once.
239
00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:59,139
He said,
"Son, stuff those feelings down.
240
00:10:59,219 --> 00:11:01,878
Stuff 'em down and eventually,
they'll go away."
241
00:11:01,958 --> 00:11:03,843
And I have not cried since.
242
00:11:06,811 --> 00:11:08,803
Okay, what do you think?
Shades open or closed?
243
00:11:08,883 --> 00:11:10,712
No, closed looks like
we're hiding something.
244
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,145
Open. Open.
245
00:11:14,157 --> 00:11:17,250
Oh, my God, the raccoons tore into
the garbage that never got picked up.
246
00:11:17,330 --> 00:11:19,215
Sue, get out there and clean that up.
247
00:11:20,634 --> 00:11:23,264
Okay, where is the Bible?
248
00:11:23,344 --> 00:11:25,132
'I wanna put it on the coffee table.'
249
00:11:25,212 --> 00:11:27,213
You know,
we don't have a real book anywhere.
250
00:11:27,293 --> 00:11:28,812
Just "People" magazine.
251
00:11:29,344 --> 00:11:32,112
Mike, quick, turn all the TVs to PBS.
252
00:11:34,651 --> 00:11:36,969
- What channel is that?
- I don't know.
253
00:11:39,425 --> 00:11:40,428
She's here.
254
00:11:43,534 --> 00:11:45,858
Oh! Oh! You see?
255
00:11:45,938 --> 00:11:48,515
It's clean.
That's why I never wash the windows.
256
00:11:48,595 --> 00:11:51,165
Are you okay? Oh, my God.
257
00:11:51,245 --> 00:11:54,611
Listen, you can't get
a welt on your head. Not now.
258
00:11:55,421 --> 00:11:58,002
Okay, don't swell up, Sue. Don't swell.
259
00:11:58,846 --> 00:12:00,133
What are we gonna do?
260
00:12:05,245 --> 00:12:06,670
It's very nice to meet you.
261
00:12:06,857 --> 00:12:09,106
It's very nice to meet you too.
262
00:12:14,668 --> 00:12:16,280
Her head gets cold.
263
00:12:20,638 --> 00:12:23,780
It's so nice to have you here, really.
264
00:12:23,860 --> 00:12:24,859
- It's very--
- Yes, it's very nice.
265
00:12:24,939 --> 00:12:26,119
I'm sorry. Go ahead.
266
00:12:26,665 --> 00:12:28,374
Wh... No, no. You... That was your--
267
00:12:28,454 --> 00:12:30,428
No, I interrupted. It's my fault.
268
00:12:30,508 --> 00:12:32,919
- Please, honey. You go.
- Thank you, dear.
269
00:12:33,396 --> 00:12:34,849
It's just nice to have you here.
270
00:12:34,929 --> 00:12:36,786
It really is.
271
00:12:37,001 --> 00:12:40,246
- Can I get you something to drink?
- Oh, I'd love some herbal tea.
272
00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:42,286
Oh, no. I don't have herbal tea.
273
00:12:42,688 --> 00:12:44,805
I mean, I, I know it's good for you
but I just don't like it. I'm so sorry.
274
00:12:44,885 --> 00:12:47,025
I'm so, so sorry.
I don't have herbal tea.
275
00:12:50,872 --> 00:12:52,948
Oh, honestly, it's okay.
276
00:12:53,028 --> 00:12:57,846
Look, don't worry, it's-it's better
if everyone just stays relaxed, okay?
277
00:12:57,926 --> 00:12:59,783
So I'm gonna need to speak
278
00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:02,322
with each member of
the family individually.
279
00:13:02,402 --> 00:13:05,339
Great. That sounds great.
We're not nervous.
280
00:13:08,519 --> 00:13:11,903
So how many hours a day would you say
that you spend together as a family?
281
00:13:12,754 --> 00:13:14,159
Just about every chance we get.
282
00:13:14,325 --> 00:13:17,217
We love spending time together.
We're together all the time.
283
00:13:18,718 --> 00:13:19,510
Two.
284
00:13:19,758 --> 00:13:21,923
I-I don't know.
What's-what's the right answer?
285
00:13:22,003 --> 00:13:23,451
So what are foster families like?
286
00:13:23,531 --> 00:13:26,163
Are there any with,
like, in ground pools or...
287
00:13:26,315 --> 00:13:29,768
'Would you say that you
drink alcohol on a regular basis?'
288
00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:33,359
Oh, no, not at all. Hardly ever.
289
00:13:33,439 --> 00:13:36,285
Three times a week.
More if the Colts are losing.
290
00:13:36,365 --> 00:13:38,672
I just love my family so much.
291
00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:40,415
Are there any foster families available
292
00:13:40,495 --> 00:13:43,729
with cute teenage girls 'cause they
wouldn't be considered my sisters, right?
293
00:13:44,927 --> 00:13:46,608
'Does your wife ever get angry?'
294
00:13:47,687 --> 00:13:48,960
Uh...
295
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:50,198
Uh...
296
00:13:50,292 --> 00:13:51,312
Uh...
297
00:13:51,457 --> 00:13:52,509
Uh...
298
00:13:52,827 --> 00:13:55,615
'And what do you do
as a family for fun?'
299
00:13:55,784 --> 00:13:59,581
Oh, uh, biking, canoeing,
visiting ancient Native American
300
00:13:59,661 --> 00:14:01,645
historical sites and
looking for arrowheads.
301
00:14:01,725 --> 00:14:03,428
- Watch TV.
- Watch TV.
302
00:14:03,508 --> 00:14:04,746
Watch TV?
303
00:14:05,582 --> 00:14:07,242
I don't know. Is that the right answer?
304
00:14:07,818 --> 00:14:11,083
I just, I just love my family so much.
305
00:14:11,870 --> 00:14:14,205
Okay. Brick is up next.
306
00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:17,543
Yep, our future was in his hands.
307
00:14:17,623 --> 00:14:19,823
Brick, would you like
to show me to your room?
308
00:14:19,903 --> 00:14:20,820
Okay.
309
00:14:25,149 --> 00:14:27,739
Let me show you the room
that I share with my brother.
310
00:14:31,636 --> 00:14:33,192
It wasn't going well for me
311
00:14:33,272 --> 00:14:35,445
and it wasn't going well for Bob either.
312
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,393
It's Don Ehlert of Ehlert Motors.
313
00:14:37,593 --> 00:14:40,482
Need a vehicle?
Got bad credit? We don't care.
314
00:14:40,562 --> 00:14:43,538
Come on down. We've got
the lowest prices south of Canada.
315
00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:46,902
Follow the arrows!
Follow the signs to Ehlert Motors.
316
00:14:47,992 --> 00:14:49,498
Mr. Ehlert, you did it!
317
00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:51,302
You made it through the whole thing!
318
00:14:51,382 --> 00:14:53,339
I did? Ha! I did!
319
00:14:53,788 --> 00:14:55,614
Well, let me see it. Play it back.
320
00:14:58,133 --> 00:14:59,932
'It's Don Ehlert of Ehlert Motors...'
321
00:15:00,071 --> 00:15:02,833
What the hell is this?
I don't look like that.
322
00:15:03,225 --> 00:15:06,507
You made me look old and bald and...old.
323
00:15:06,587 --> 00:15:07,548
No, he's...
324
00:15:07,628 --> 00:15:10,206
In my old commercial
I was beautiful, Bob!
325
00:15:10,516 --> 00:15:11,728
What'd you do to me?
326
00:15:13,682 --> 00:15:14,457
Uh...
327
00:15:15,797 --> 00:15:17,059
Sir, well, you...
328
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:20,075
'Jackass.'
329
00:15:21,326 --> 00:15:22,815
It's been a long time.
330
00:15:23,263 --> 00:15:24,714
Wonder how Brick's doing in there.
331
00:15:26,153 --> 00:15:29,529
Do not start to cry again, Sue.
I swear, I will...
332
00:15:29,701 --> 00:15:32,380
Thank you, Brick.
It was very nice to meet you too.
333
00:15:34,477 --> 00:15:35,545
Oh, you done already?
334
00:15:36,093 --> 00:15:38,932
We were just reading some Bible verses.
How did it go?
335
00:15:39,170 --> 00:15:42,657
I told her everything that
you told me to, I mean, the truth.
336
00:15:44,417 --> 00:15:47,024
Well, I wanna thank you
all for your honesty and candor.
337
00:15:47,104 --> 00:15:50,871
I think I have everything I need
so I will be contacting you shortly.
338
00:15:53,721 --> 00:15:54,917
Umm, excuse me.
339
00:15:55,132 --> 00:15:59,201
I know you can't tell us anything
official right now but, um...
340
00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:02,290
- Oh.
- I promise I won't tell.
341
00:16:02,370 --> 00:16:03,469
I'm sorry, Mrs. Heck.
342
00:16:03,549 --> 00:16:06,856
I'm not able to discuss anything
at this time until I file my report.
343
00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:09,989
I understand. Of course. Umm, so...
344
00:16:12,552 --> 00:16:14,207
It was lovely to meet you.
345
00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:15,291
Okay.
346
00:16:16,919 --> 00:16:18,032
It's funny, but...
347
00:16:18,929 --> 00:16:20,606
...you don't remember me, do you?
348
00:16:21,808 --> 00:16:23,501
Uh, should I?
349
00:16:23,581 --> 00:16:25,903
Well, we went out,
like, two or three times.
350
00:16:25,983 --> 00:16:27,491
It was years ago.
351
00:16:27,724 --> 00:16:31,040
Anyway, I really liked you
but you never called me back.
352
00:16:31,676 --> 00:16:34,317
Oh, well, it's nice to see you again.
353
00:16:46,302 --> 00:16:48,544
You dated our social worker?
354
00:16:48,624 --> 00:16:50,631
I don't even remember her. Oh, wait.
355
00:16:51,533 --> 00:16:53,083
She could have been the
one that liked Duran Duran
356
00:16:53,163 --> 00:16:54,987
and was always touching my face.
357
00:16:55,463 --> 00:16:56,575
Man, she got old.
358
00:16:56,775 --> 00:16:58,651
How could you not have called her back?
359
00:16:58,731 --> 00:17:01,451
What's wrong with her?
She's attractive. She's smart.
360
00:17:01,839 --> 00:17:04,767
You should have called, Mike.
You should've called.
361
00:17:05,044 --> 00:17:08,188
I didn't call her because
I met you and I liked you better.
362
00:17:08,268 --> 00:17:11,283
Well, if this whole thing goes south,
it's on your head.
363
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:13,148
Frankie, she doesn't
seem like the vindictive type.
364
00:17:13,228 --> 00:17:15,534
Clearly, you know nothing about women.
365
00:17:15,614 --> 00:17:18,678
Any scorned woman would
kill for this chance!
366
00:17:18,899 --> 00:17:20,432
We are screwed.
367
00:17:24,024 --> 00:17:25,878
I tried to be as mellow as Mike
368
00:17:25,958 --> 00:17:28,292
but the truth is I was a basket case.
369
00:17:28,372 --> 00:17:30,025
What if this chick was still mad at Mike
370
00:17:30,105 --> 00:17:31,823
and was gonna take it out on us?
371
00:17:32,012 --> 00:17:33,761
Damn it, I was gonna take some action.
372
00:17:33,841 --> 00:17:36,335
'You've reached the government offices
of Social Services.'
373
00:17:36,415 --> 00:17:38,433
'To schedule a hearing, press one.'
374
00:17:38,577 --> 00:17:40,769
'To become a foster family, press two.'
375
00:17:40,849 --> 00:17:43,253
Hey, quick, everybody!
The new commercial's on.
376
00:17:44,221 --> 00:17:47,697
'Help, help,
I'm being assaulted by high prices.'
377
00:17:49,025 --> 00:17:50,923
I'm shooting down high prices!
378
00:17:56,193 --> 00:17:57,101
That's it?
379
00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:59,542
Huh. That must have been easy.
380
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:05,541
I tried for days to
go through proper channels
381
00:18:05,621 --> 00:18:06,953
but I couldn't wait any longer.
382
00:18:07,033 --> 00:18:09,692
Mike might not have pursued her
but I sure was gonna.
383
00:18:09,772 --> 00:18:12,422
Hi, I'd like to see
Carole Barry, please.
384
00:18:14,625 --> 00:18:15,871
Is she expecting you?
385
00:18:15,951 --> 00:18:18,899
Is anyone ever really expecting anyone?
386
00:18:19,324 --> 00:18:20,393
And should we be?
387
00:18:20,669 --> 00:18:23,376
I mean, isn't being
surprised the most fun?
388
00:18:23,537 --> 00:18:24,671
So that's a no.
389
00:18:24,982 --> 00:18:27,030
No appointment, no seeing.
390
00:18:27,110 --> 00:18:28,552
Now you can call our 1800 number--
391
00:18:28,632 --> 00:18:31,613
Uh, no, you really can't
because I tried and...
392
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:36,594
- Can I just use your bathroom?
- Employees only.
393
00:18:36,674 --> 00:18:38,936
Oh, I... Nervous bladder.
394
00:18:39,016 --> 00:18:40,552
I have a doctor's note.
395
00:18:41,117 --> 00:18:42,318
Go. Go.
396
00:18:55,282 --> 00:18:56,560
Miss Barry?
397
00:18:57,551 --> 00:18:58,592
'Yes?'
398
00:18:59,223 --> 00:19:00,734
Hi, it's Frankie Heck.
399
00:19:01,044 --> 00:19:03,153
'Hi... May I help you?'
400
00:19:03,358 --> 00:19:07,747
Uh, well, I, I just wanted to explain
401
00:19:07,827 --> 00:19:11,251
umm, why my husband,
Mike, never called you back.
402
00:19:11,331 --> 00:19:13,354
I mean, I'm sure you
have been wondering about it
403
00:19:13,434 --> 00:19:17,307
all these years 'cause
clearly you are lovely
404
00:19:17,387 --> 00:19:19,653
and he liked you, he really did.
405
00:19:19,733 --> 00:19:22,132
It's just that the
timing just wasn't right.
406
00:19:22,212 --> 00:19:25,664
Because, you see,
we met going up to the Indy 500
407
00:19:25,830 --> 00:19:27,358
and, umm, well...
408
00:19:28,094 --> 00:19:30,181
To tell you the truth, umm...
409
00:19:31,802 --> 00:19:33,518
...I slept with him on the second date
410
00:19:33,844 --> 00:19:35,588
which I never really do.
411
00:19:35,777 --> 00:19:38,406
But you know,
I was a nice girl then as were you.
412
00:19:38,486 --> 00:19:40,814
I mean, obviously,
'cause you didn't put out.
413
00:19:41,063 --> 00:19:42,425
And good for you.
414
00:19:42,713 --> 00:19:46,681
So I just hope that
all of this doesn't make you
415
00:19:46,761 --> 00:19:49,570
think differently
about my family because--
416
00:19:49,864 --> 00:19:50,749
'Frankie.'
417
00:19:53,749 --> 00:19:55,886
I got over your husband a long time ago.
418
00:19:57,248 --> 00:19:58,322
Thank God.
419
00:19:58,402 --> 00:20:00,292
Well, you should count
your blessings because believe me
420
00:20:00,372 --> 00:20:02,866
he really is no picnic to live with.
421
00:20:03,774 --> 00:20:07,217
But he's a good dad!
Oh, such a great dad.
422
00:20:08,823 --> 00:20:11,817
Frankie, I'm not supposed
to tell you any information
423
00:20:11,897 --> 00:20:13,367
until the report is filed.
424
00:20:14,291 --> 00:20:16,328
- But you're fine.
- We are?
425
00:20:16,408 --> 00:20:20,928
Do you have any idea the kind
of crazy families I see in my job?
426
00:20:21,008 --> 00:20:23,706
Trust me, meeting yours
was the best part of my week.
427
00:20:24,126 --> 00:20:25,704
- My month.
- Really?
428
00:20:25,784 --> 00:20:28,925
Really. As soon as I file
my report with my supervisor
429
00:20:29,005 --> 00:20:30,458
your case will be officially closed
430
00:20:30,538 --> 00:20:32,738
and then you can go on with your life.
431
00:20:32,818 --> 00:20:34,703
Oh, thank you.
432
00:20:34,783 --> 00:20:36,956
Oh! I'm so sorry to have bothered you.
433
00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:39,574
I promise you I will
not bother you again.
434
00:20:40,316 --> 00:20:41,766
Actually, that was a lie.
435
00:20:41,846 --> 00:20:43,554
I couldn't go home without actually
436
00:20:43,634 --> 00:20:45,170
seeing it in writing.
437
00:20:54,064 --> 00:20:57,269
I don't think I ever knew
what relief meant until that moment.
438
00:20:57,529 --> 00:20:59,677
There was an upside
to all that happened though.
439
00:20:59,865 --> 00:21:02,123
I had written proof
that I was a good parent
440
00:21:02,312 --> 00:21:04,410
and believe me, it came in handy.
441
00:21:04,792 --> 00:21:09,232
Whoa! I cannot believe
that you won't let me go car skiing.
442
00:21:09,425 --> 00:21:13,133
It's safe. There's a spotter
car that follows right behind.
443
00:21:15,823 --> 00:21:18,175
Oh, my God. You are the worst mom ever.
444
00:21:18,624 --> 00:21:19,548
Really?
445
00:21:19,864 --> 00:21:22,509
The state of Indiana seems to disagree.
446
00:21:23,361 --> 00:21:25,791
Yep, it was good to have it in writing.
34688
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