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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,031 --> 00:00:01,218 [ROCK MUSIC] 2 00:00:06,414 --> 00:00:09,281 Alexander Hamilton was one of the Founding Fathers 3 00:00:09,306 --> 00:00:10,916 - of the United States. - [PHONE JINGLES] 4 00:00:10,918 --> 00:00:12,960 Hello? Yes, this is she. 5 00:00:14,500 --> 00:00:16,200 No, I'm not doing anything important. 6 00:00:16,202 --> 00:00:18,669 He was the first Secretary of the Treasury. 7 00:00:18,671 --> 00:00:20,671 Ashley, what are the rules? 8 00:00:20,673 --> 00:00:23,117 No talking when Ms. Snap is on a personal call. 9 00:00:23,710 --> 00:00:24,898 Now what was that? 10 00:00:25,878 --> 00:00:28,218 I won the Golden Pencil Teaching Award? 11 00:00:28,243 --> 00:00:30,576 Are you effing serious? 12 00:00:30,601 --> 00:00:33,561 Oh, my God, this must be what if feels like 13 00:00:33,586 --> 00:00:35,786 to win the First Impression rose. [LAUGHS GLEEFULLY] 14 00:00:35,788 --> 00:00:37,755 Uh, yes, yes, I am still here. 15 00:00:37,757 --> 00:00:40,391 What about my report on Alexander Hamilton? 16 00:00:40,393 --> 00:00:41,726 Ashley, Ms. Snap just won 17 00:00:41,728 --> 00:00:43,694 the highest teaching honor in the world. 18 00:00:43,696 --> 00:00:45,921 No one cares about some dead guy who wrote a musical. 19 00:00:45,946 --> 00:00:46,946 [SCOFFS] 20 00:00:46,999 --> 00:00:48,799 I am amazing! 21 00:00:48,801 --> 00:00:52,945 Congratulations again on this incredible honor, Ms. Snap. 22 00:00:53,339 --> 00:00:55,005 And that, my little duderinos, 23 00:00:55,007 --> 00:00:58,109 is how you pull off an epic April Fools prank. 24 00:00:58,111 --> 00:01:00,177 But you didn't say, "April Fools." 25 00:01:00,179 --> 00:01:03,114 Patience, young Rodney. Ms. F. likes her pranks 26 00:01:03,116 --> 00:01:05,783 like her Taco Bell Smothered Burritos. 27 00:01:05,785 --> 00:01:07,742 She lets 'em marinate for awhile. 28 00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:10,101 Whoo! 29 00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:12,585 See? Marinating. 30 00:01:12,610 --> 00:01:13,640 [ROCK MUSIC] 31 00:01:13,665 --> 00:01:16,703 www.fmsubs.com 32 00:01:16,729 --> 00:01:18,295 ♪ Tear it down ♪ 33 00:01:18,297 --> 00:01:21,565 Feldman, your April Fools jokes are so bogus. 34 00:01:21,567 --> 00:01:23,067 You need to tell Chelsea the truth. 35 00:01:23,069 --> 00:01:24,902 She's gonna think she's good at her job, 36 00:01:24,904 --> 00:01:26,637 and that's just not fair to her students. 37 00:01:26,639 --> 00:01:27,929 That would ruin it. 38 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:31,041 Be like giving away the ending of "The Sixth Sense," 39 00:01:31,043 --> 00:01:33,414 you know, that Bruce Willis is a pedophile. 40 00:01:33,629 --> 00:01:36,023 He's not a pedophile. He's dead. 41 00:01:36,073 --> 00:01:37,101 Oh... 42 00:01:38,406 --> 00:01:41,886 Oh, that's why his wife won't talk to him. 43 00:01:41,888 --> 00:01:43,454 Everybody, shut up! [GIGGLES] 44 00:01:43,456 --> 00:01:44,757 [PLAYS KAZOO] 45 00:01:45,258 --> 00:01:47,191 Ladies and gentlemen, 46 00:01:47,193 --> 00:01:49,960 may I present to you the beautiful and the bold, 47 00:01:49,962 --> 00:01:52,873 the bold and the beautiful, my best friend... 48 00:01:52,898 --> 00:01:53,960 - Oh, my God. - Okay. 49 00:01:53,985 --> 00:01:56,609 I won the Golden Pencil Award. I'm so excited. 50 00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:59,209 I am taking out a full-page congratulations ad 51 00:01:59,234 --> 00:02:00,518 in "The Chicagoland Gazette." 52 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:02,487 That costs a lot of money. 53 00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:05,223 Yeah, you might wanna pump the brakes on... 54 00:02:05,225 --> 00:02:06,491 Good morning! 55 00:02:06,493 --> 00:02:08,637 Oh, good, I'm so glad you're all here. 56 00:02:08,835 --> 00:02:11,363 I have some exciting news to share. 57 00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:14,578 It has been 767 days 58 00:02:14,875 --> 00:02:16,525 and nearly as many tear-filled nights 59 00:02:16,550 --> 00:02:18,850 since I've been able to say this, but... 60 00:02:18,852 --> 00:02:20,185 I have a boyfriend! 61 00:02:20,187 --> 00:02:23,321 - [GASPS, CHATTER] - Oh, my God, get it, girl! 62 00:02:23,323 --> 00:02:25,062 It feels so good to say that again. 63 00:02:25,070 --> 00:02:26,585 Who's the lucky fella? 64 00:02:26,778 --> 00:02:28,077 - Toby. - [COUGHS] 65 00:02:28,102 --> 00:02:30,250 - Wait, what? - Principal Pearson? 66 00:02:30,538 --> 00:02:32,351 - Mm-hmm. - Are you serious? 67 00:02:32,376 --> 00:02:34,207 I know it may come as a shock, 68 00:02:34,209 --> 00:02:36,509 but we both have been spending a lot of time together, 69 00:02:36,511 --> 00:02:38,523 and we really like each other. 70 00:02:38,548 --> 00:02:39,828 Dude, no offense, 71 00:02:39,852 --> 00:02:42,007 but I didn't even know that guy had a dick. 72 00:02:42,032 --> 00:02:44,633 It doesn't matter if Toby has a dick or not. 73 00:02:45,453 --> 00:02:47,424 Caroline, we're all really happy for you. 74 00:02:47,426 --> 00:02:48,609 Thank you. 75 00:02:49,109 --> 00:02:50,827 I normally wouldn't kiss and tell, 76 00:02:50,829 --> 00:02:54,665 but this feels selfish to only share with my diary. 77 00:02:54,667 --> 00:02:58,765 It is the most amazing sex I have ever had. 78 00:02:59,271 --> 00:03:00,637 He's incredible. 79 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:03,482 This morning, he literally banged my headband right off. 80 00:03:03,507 --> 00:03:05,812 - Oh, no, God, stop. - Holy balls. 81 00:03:06,115 --> 00:03:07,859 Good morning, ladies. 82 00:03:10,282 --> 00:03:11,953 How are you all doing today? 83 00:03:16,679 --> 00:03:18,664 Lovely day outside, isn't it? 84 00:03:22,203 --> 00:03:23,359 All right then. 85 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,367 - Caroline... - Hm? 86 00:03:26,262 --> 00:03:28,609 You left this in the backseat of my Subaru. 87 00:03:31,437 --> 00:03:32,502 Thank you. 88 00:03:32,691 --> 00:03:34,007 ♪ ♪ 89 00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:38,343 [PLAYFUL MUSIC] 90 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:46,074 www.fmsubs.com 91 00:03:47,687 --> 00:03:49,359 What's he doing with my classroom? 92 00:03:50,242 --> 00:03:51,304 ♪ ♪ 93 00:03:52,725 --> 00:03:53,857 Jerk. 94 00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:54,859 ♪ ♪ 95 00:03:55,406 --> 00:03:58,960 Hey, dude, before you spend all that money on an ad, 96 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:02,032 I gotta take a truth dump on ya. 97 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,187 I just got off the phone with my mom. 98 00:04:04,421 --> 00:04:07,137 She is so proud that I won the Golden Pencil Award. 99 00:04:07,257 --> 00:04:10,340 The same mom you haven't spoken to in... 100 00:04:10,342 --> 00:04:11,578 Six years, yeah, 101 00:04:11,603 --> 00:04:13,910 and she has never told me that she's proud of me before, 102 00:04:14,218 --> 00:04:15,712 not even when I made it to callbacks 103 00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:17,539 for "Albania's Next Top Model." [SCOFFS] 104 00:04:18,062 --> 00:04:20,734 The population is smaller, so my odds are increased. 105 00:04:21,187 --> 00:04:22,921 I can't believe it finally happened. 106 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:25,484 My mom is proud of me, Feldman. 107 00:04:25,758 --> 00:04:26,923 Wow. 108 00:04:27,065 --> 00:04:28,965 I just wish she could make it to the ceremony. 109 00:04:29,062 --> 00:04:31,014 - Ceremony? - Yeah, you know. 110 00:04:31,039 --> 00:04:32,990 On the website, it says they give out the award 111 00:04:33,015 --> 00:04:35,045 at the winner's home school. [LAUGHS] 112 00:04:35,070 --> 00:04:36,850 Everyone is gonna be so inspired, 113 00:04:36,875 --> 00:04:39,132 they will wanna rename the school after me. 114 00:04:39,492 --> 00:04:40,679 Snap School. 115 00:04:41,117 --> 00:04:42,257 Right... 116 00:04:42,929 --> 00:04:44,484 the award ceremony. 117 00:04:45,070 --> 00:04:46,343 Totally. [FAINT CHUCKLE] 118 00:04:46,345 --> 00:04:48,662 I'm way steep in dookie, dude. 119 00:04:48,687 --> 00:04:51,327 How am I gonna pull off an award ceremony? 120 00:04:51,352 --> 00:04:53,185 You've gotta tell her the truth. 121 00:04:53,187 --> 00:04:55,220 She's practicing her mom hugs on me. 122 00:04:55,222 --> 00:04:57,389 She keeps whispering, "I forgive you." 123 00:04:57,391 --> 00:04:59,191 [SIGHS] That's why I can't tell her. 124 00:04:59,193 --> 00:05:01,160 They just started talking again. 125 00:05:01,162 --> 00:05:02,428 So what happened? 126 00:05:02,430 --> 00:05:04,363 So I came back from getting art supplies 127 00:05:04,365 --> 00:05:06,781 to find Frank, in a fit of rage, 128 00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:08,507 throwing my cart down the hallway. 129 00:05:08,532 --> 00:05:09,831 Did he really throw it? 130 00:05:09,856 --> 00:05:13,005 Well, not literally, but metaphorically, yes. 131 00:05:13,007 --> 00:05:15,671 Bottom line, Frank is a huge asshole. 132 00:05:18,245 --> 00:05:19,710 He's behind me, isn't he? 133 00:05:23,928 --> 00:05:25,031 Oh, hey, Frank. 134 00:05:25,056 --> 00:05:26,952 I'm sorry if I offended you this morning 135 00:05:26,954 --> 00:05:28,520 by moving your art cart, 136 00:05:28,522 --> 00:05:31,356 but it was just blocking my office door. 137 00:05:31,358 --> 00:05:33,859 Oh, no, no, that wasn't about you. 138 00:05:33,884 --> 00:05:35,382 I was talking about another guy, 139 00:05:35,653 --> 00:05:37,210 whose name is also Frank... 140 00:05:38,433 --> 00:05:40,031 who moved my grocery cart... 141 00:05:42,454 --> 00:05:43,718 At the grocery store. 142 00:05:46,330 --> 00:05:47,687 Good to see you, Frank. 143 00:05:50,309 --> 00:05:51,679 I mean, that made sense, right? 144 00:05:51,905 --> 00:05:53,039 No. 145 00:05:53,633 --> 00:05:56,367 Toby the Tiger, you wanted to see me? 146 00:05:56,369 --> 00:05:57,478 Shh. 147 00:05:57,664 --> 00:06:00,562 You can only call me that behind closed doors. 148 00:06:01,133 --> 00:06:04,125 This morning with the other teachers was weird. 149 00:06:04,344 --> 00:06:07,945 Did you, by any chance, mention our situation to them? 150 00:06:07,947 --> 00:06:10,281 Oh, yeah, but don't worry, it's not a big deal. 151 00:06:10,283 --> 00:06:12,316 Yes, it is a big deal, Care Bear. 152 00:06:12,318 --> 00:06:14,719 I'm evaluating all the teachers today, 153 00:06:14,721 --> 00:06:16,220 and if they know I'm your boyfriend, 154 00:06:16,222 --> 00:06:18,255 it diminishes my authority. 155 00:06:18,257 --> 00:06:21,959 They need to see me as the alpha lion of this pride. 156 00:06:21,961 --> 00:06:24,060 Well, if they'd seen the way 157 00:06:24,085 --> 00:06:26,297 you took me in the back of your Forester this morning, 158 00:06:26,299 --> 00:06:27,421 they would. 159 00:06:28,486 --> 00:06:29,593 Mm. 160 00:06:31,039 --> 00:06:34,609 I'm just glad that bad boy has memory seating. 161 00:06:35,335 --> 00:06:37,171 - [CHUCKLES] - [EXHALES SOFTLY] 162 00:06:37,789 --> 00:06:40,378 Listen, I don't want work to be any different. 163 00:06:40,380 --> 00:06:42,980 - Yeah. - We just need to do something 164 00:06:42,982 --> 00:06:45,023 that'll make them think it's not weird. 165 00:06:45,132 --> 00:06:46,584 Welcome, ladies. 166 00:06:46,750 --> 00:06:49,195 Thank you for stopping by the lounge. 167 00:06:49,956 --> 00:06:51,455 We work here? 168 00:06:51,457 --> 00:06:54,291 - Make yourselves right at home. - Is this a dream? 169 00:06:54,293 --> 00:06:55,860 Quick, Chelsea, pinch my bottom. 170 00:06:55,862 --> 00:06:57,218 - What? No. - Come on. 171 00:06:57,243 --> 00:07:00,304 As everyone knows, Caroline and I are dating, 172 00:07:00,329 --> 00:07:02,266 and we invited you here 173 00:07:02,268 --> 00:07:04,835 to assure you that nothing will change 174 00:07:04,837 --> 00:07:06,671 just because we're together. 175 00:07:06,828 --> 00:07:09,840 - Mini quiche, anyone? - You all must try one. 176 00:07:09,842 --> 00:07:13,444 Caroline has the moistest little quiche I've ever eaten. 177 00:07:13,446 --> 00:07:15,112 Yum, yum, yum. 178 00:07:15,114 --> 00:07:16,747 I could eat it all day. 179 00:07:16,749 --> 00:07:17,890 [LAUGHS] 180 00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:19,211 Mmm. 181 00:07:19,952 --> 00:07:21,007 ♪ ♪ 182 00:07:21,387 --> 00:07:22,500 Oh, yeah. 183 00:07:22,689 --> 00:07:23,703 ♪ ♪ 184 00:07:23,922 --> 00:07:24,922 Mm. 185 00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:26,691 Tastes funny when you eat your own. 186 00:07:26,693 --> 00:07:28,159 - Mm. - [ALL GROANING] 187 00:07:28,945 --> 00:07:30,023 [ROCK MUSIC] 188 00:07:30,632 --> 00:07:31,913 ♪ Tear it down ♪ 189 00:07:33,367 --> 00:07:34,773 ♪ Tear it down ♪ 190 00:07:35,225 --> 00:07:36,437 Tell me, Ms. Bennigan, 191 00:07:36,442 --> 00:07:39,644 how would you rate your overall performance this year? 192 00:07:39,646 --> 00:07:40,835 [TENSE MUSIC] 193 00:07:45,357 --> 00:07:46,578 Ms. Bennigan? 194 00:07:47,069 --> 00:07:48,187 Quiche! 195 00:07:48,621 --> 00:07:52,070 Students need a tangible way to measure their progress. 196 00:07:52,484 --> 00:07:55,187 Do you object to the idea of frequent testing? 197 00:07:55,212 --> 00:07:56,360 Not at all. 198 00:07:56,362 --> 00:07:58,362 I have no objections to your testes... 199 00:07:58,364 --> 00:07:59,914 I mean, testes. 200 00:08:00,633 --> 00:08:01,757 Testes. 201 00:08:03,046 --> 00:08:04,092 Oh, my God. 202 00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:05,870 I don't think it's weird. 203 00:08:05,872 --> 00:08:07,953 I once dated a man with a small leg. 204 00:08:08,492 --> 00:08:09,851 Okay, we're done here. 205 00:08:10,335 --> 00:08:11,750 - Chelsea... - [SOBBING] 206 00:08:13,046 --> 00:08:15,139 Are you devastated because you found out 207 00:08:15,164 --> 00:08:17,554 a recent accomplishment of yours isn't real? 208 00:08:17,579 --> 00:08:19,884 No, these are tears of joy. 209 00:08:19,886 --> 00:08:21,031 Oh. 210 00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:23,435 Everyone thinks I have this perfect life, 211 00:08:23,460 --> 00:08:25,256 because my ankles are so thin they're unstable, 212 00:08:25,258 --> 00:08:28,359 but this year has been really hard on me. 213 00:08:28,561 --> 00:08:31,162 My two-finger thigh gap has become a one-finger thigh gap, 214 00:08:31,164 --> 00:08:33,264 which means either my thighs are getting fat, 215 00:08:33,266 --> 00:08:35,640 or I have Elton John sausage fingers! 216 00:08:37,403 --> 00:08:38,546 [LAUGHS] 217 00:08:38,972 --> 00:08:40,671 But after winning this award, 218 00:08:40,929 --> 00:08:43,492 it finally feels like my life is worth living again. 219 00:08:43,867 --> 00:08:44,914 You know? 220 00:08:44,939 --> 00:08:47,945 Plus, I just found out there's a $5,000 cash prize. 221 00:08:47,947 --> 00:08:49,234 [LAUGHS] Look! 222 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:51,218 Oh, shit... 223 00:08:52,007 --> 00:08:55,125 am I jealous of you. 224 00:08:55,250 --> 00:08:56,354 [LAUGHS] 225 00:08:56,750 --> 00:08:58,389 My evaluation went terribly. 226 00:08:58,391 --> 00:09:00,024 I never knew the devil could take the form 227 00:09:00,026 --> 00:09:02,126 of Caroline's moist quiche. 228 00:09:02,128 --> 00:09:03,328 Mine sucked too. 229 00:09:03,563 --> 00:09:05,930 You're overreacting. I'm sure they went fine. 230 00:09:05,932 --> 00:09:07,832 Oh, easy for you to say. 231 00:09:07,834 --> 00:09:10,398 Your evaluation was probably oral. 232 00:09:11,237 --> 00:09:12,803 - Evaluations are in! - Ooh. 233 00:09:12,828 --> 00:09:15,606 Ooh, and envelopes, just like the Oscars. 234 00:09:15,608 --> 00:09:17,289 - Cool. - Thank you. 235 00:09:19,045 --> 00:09:21,212 Ah, not one mention of quiche. 236 00:09:21,214 --> 00:09:22,580 Mine's decent. 237 00:09:22,582 --> 00:09:25,049 He just suggests I get some WD-40 for my cart. 238 00:09:25,051 --> 00:09:26,517 Hm, not bad, 239 00:09:26,519 --> 00:09:28,586 although he says I sometimes dress inappropriately. 240 00:09:28,588 --> 00:09:30,101 [SCOFFS] Which is crazy. 241 00:09:30,515 --> 00:09:33,406 - [GIGGLES] - What does your evaluation say? 242 00:09:33,526 --> 00:09:34,640 ♪ ♪ 243 00:09:38,865 --> 00:09:42,033 Nothing, just... "good job." 244 00:09:42,035 --> 00:09:43,234 - Good job? - Mm-hmm. 245 00:09:43,236 --> 00:09:45,536 - Hm. [SCOFFS] - Deb, give it back! 246 00:09:45,538 --> 00:09:47,271 - [CLEARS THROAT] - [LAUGHS] 247 00:09:47,273 --> 00:09:50,441 "I'm so happy I found you, with hair so fair. 248 00:09:50,443 --> 00:09:53,911 "My favorite educator, my delectable Care Bear. 249 00:09:53,913 --> 00:09:55,980 "Cute as a button, you could never disappoint. 250 00:09:55,982 --> 00:09:59,183 For this evaluation, you get each and every point." 251 00:09:59,185 --> 00:10:01,421 You got an evaluation poem? 252 00:10:01,721 --> 00:10:02,820 [LAUGHS] 253 00:10:11,585 --> 00:10:13,264 An evaluation poem? 254 00:10:13,335 --> 00:10:15,299 I thought we were gonna keep things professional. 255 00:10:15,301 --> 00:10:16,600 I'm sorry, you're right. 256 00:10:16,602 --> 00:10:18,946 I shouldn't have written you a poem. 257 00:10:19,343 --> 00:10:23,140 But did you see how I rhymed "hair so fair" with "Care Bear"? 258 00:10:23,142 --> 00:10:25,242 - Hm. - I didn't even have to use... 259 00:10:25,244 --> 00:10:26,906 BOTH: Rhymezone.com. 260 00:10:27,406 --> 00:10:29,842 I know. It was very impressive, 261 00:10:29,867 --> 00:10:31,507 but now they all think you're favoring me. 262 00:10:31,734 --> 00:10:33,918 Oh, crap. What do you want me to do? 263 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:36,000 Nothing. Don't do anything. 264 00:10:36,187 --> 00:10:37,822 Just act normal. 265 00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:39,929 Okay, I can do that. 266 00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:43,459 Can you believe the way Frank verbally attacked me before? 267 00:10:43,484 --> 00:10:44,584 I mean, what was he doing 268 00:10:44,586 --> 00:10:46,452 listening to my conversation anyway? 269 00:10:46,454 --> 00:10:48,078 He's basically stalking me. 270 00:10:51,198 --> 00:10:52,789 He's behind me again, isn't he? 271 00:10:55,707 --> 00:10:57,789 Hey, Frank. 272 00:10:58,366 --> 00:10:59,554 [ROCK MUSIC] 273 00:11:01,603 --> 00:11:03,632 Top-of-the-line seats, my man. 274 00:11:04,186 --> 00:11:05,687 Very durable. 275 00:11:07,119 --> 00:11:08,652 Top-shelf pleather. 276 00:11:09,177 --> 00:11:12,031 And they've only been slept on ten times, max. 277 00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:15,140 Very... easy... 278 00:11:15,950 --> 00:11:18,250 to... remove! 279 00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:25,584 See? [CLEARS THROAT] 280 00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:28,000 Easily removable. Check 'em out, man. 281 00:11:28,630 --> 00:11:30,029 Feldman, what are you doing? 282 00:11:30,031 --> 00:11:32,331 I'm raising money for Chelsea's award. 283 00:11:32,333 --> 00:11:33,966 You should just tell her the truth. 284 00:11:33,968 --> 00:11:36,669 Nah, I'd rather sell my seats and hold a fake ceremony. 285 00:11:36,671 --> 00:11:38,070 It seems easier. 286 00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:40,239 Is that guy allowed near an elementary school? 287 00:11:40,929 --> 00:11:42,125 [GRUNTS] 288 00:11:42,510 --> 00:11:44,625 - I'll take 'em. - Okay! 289 00:11:45,046 --> 00:11:47,039 Eric, my main man. 290 00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:48,898 That'll be $5,000. 291 00:11:49,929 --> 00:11:51,250 Well, how about... 292 00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:52,281 [SIGHS] 293 00:11:53,554 --> 00:11:55,273 300... [SNIFFS] 294 00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:58,273 and 25 dollars... 295 00:11:58,931 --> 00:12:03,351 and 63 cents? 296 00:12:03,965 --> 00:12:05,031 [SNIFFS] 297 00:12:05,033 --> 00:12:06,085 ♪ 298 00:12:13,429 --> 00:12:15,241 About the evaluations... 299 00:12:15,243 --> 00:12:16,709 Uh, I meant to say "testing." 300 00:12:16,711 --> 00:12:18,310 No, no, it's not about that. 301 00:12:18,312 --> 00:12:20,513 It's actually about Care Bang... 302 00:12:20,515 --> 00:12:22,117 I mean, Head Band... I mean, Care Bear. 303 00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:23,320 Jeez-o-Pete. 304 00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:27,148 Please don't be mad at Caroline. 305 00:12:27,285 --> 00:12:28,523 I'm not mad at her. 306 00:12:30,591 --> 00:12:32,281 Did she tell you I was? 307 00:12:32,376 --> 00:12:33,921 Yes... no. 308 00:12:34,029 --> 00:12:35,109 I mean... 309 00:12:35,382 --> 00:12:38,030 I think you and the gals really hurt her feelings. 310 00:12:38,032 --> 00:12:39,242 Okay. 311 00:12:39,267 --> 00:12:42,984 So maybe you and the others could apologize to her. 312 00:12:44,839 --> 00:12:46,148 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 313 00:12:46,288 --> 00:12:47,621 ♪ ♪ 314 00:12:48,209 --> 00:12:52,242 Oh, and please don't tell her that I talked to you. 315 00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:55,181 Yo, Care Bear, your little bitch boy 316 00:12:55,183 --> 00:12:56,849 just told me to apologize to you. 317 00:12:56,851 --> 00:12:59,118 What? I'm sorry, I told him not to. 318 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:01,187 Jesus, now I have to watch what I say around you. 319 00:13:01,212 --> 00:13:02,822 You know I can't filter. 320 00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:04,757 Stop talking about us to our boss. 321 00:13:05,193 --> 00:13:06,929 I told you not to say anything. 322 00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:08,257 She told you? 323 00:13:08,515 --> 00:13:10,596 I'm sorry, Care Bear. Let me fix this. 324 00:13:10,598 --> 00:13:12,398 No! You've already made it worse. 325 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:16,085 Just stop. Don't do anything. 326 00:13:16,604 --> 00:13:17,898 Mrs. Adler? 327 00:13:18,644 --> 00:13:19,929 Mrs. Adler... 328 00:13:20,915 --> 00:13:22,214 Mrs. Adler! 329 00:13:23,296 --> 00:13:25,111 Caroline knows way too much. 330 00:13:25,113 --> 00:13:27,079 If she tells Pearson about that underage gymnast 331 00:13:27,081 --> 00:13:29,625 I hooked up with at the Olympics, I am screwed. 332 00:13:30,284 --> 00:13:31,951 - [SIGHS] - Oh, what? 333 00:13:31,953 --> 00:13:33,586 I'm supposed to know he was young, 334 00:13:33,588 --> 00:13:36,210 because he was hairless? They all shave their bodies. 335 00:13:36,235 --> 00:13:37,703 - Hi, guys. - [GASPS] 336 00:13:40,289 --> 00:13:41,703 - I have to go. - Me too. 337 00:13:41,728 --> 00:13:42,968 - Me too. - Same. 338 00:13:43,140 --> 00:13:45,956 Oh. Uh... okay. 339 00:13:46,067 --> 00:13:48,312 I guess I'll see you all later then? 340 00:13:48,406 --> 00:13:49,539 [DOOR SLAMS SHUT] 341 00:13:49,604 --> 00:13:51,421 None of them will talk to me anymore. 342 00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:53,109 I knew you shouldn't have told them. 343 00:13:53,134 --> 00:13:54,874 Oh, so now this is my fault? 344 00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:56,776 I'm just trying to help, Care Bear. 345 00:13:56,778 --> 00:13:58,390 Stop calling me Care Bear! It's stupid! 346 00:13:58,415 --> 00:13:59,867 I am an adult woman! 347 00:13:59,892 --> 00:14:01,792 Yes, I know. 348 00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:04,718 [SOMBER MUSIC] 349 00:14:08,089 --> 00:14:09,929 I just don't know if this is working. 350 00:14:11,438 --> 00:14:12,640 What? 351 00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:17,429 [QUIRKY TENSE MUSIC] 352 00:14:29,664 --> 00:14:31,297 - [MACHINE BEEPS] - Ms. Watson... 353 00:14:31,299 --> 00:14:34,632 your presence is requested in the principal's office. 354 00:14:39,674 --> 00:14:41,841 [BEEPS] Unfortunately, I can't, 355 00:14:41,843 --> 00:14:44,610 because my presence is requested by my students, 356 00:14:44,612 --> 00:14:47,023 you know, so I can do my job. 357 00:14:51,906 --> 00:14:54,187 Please keep reading "Charlotte's Web," everyone. 358 00:14:54,398 --> 00:14:57,328 We wanna find out what happens to Wilbur, don't we? 359 00:14:58,328 --> 00:15:00,093 [BEEPS] Ms. Watson... 360 00:15:00,095 --> 00:15:02,462 you know I'm too emotionally fragile for this. 361 00:15:02,464 --> 00:15:03,996 - Please. - [BEEPS] 362 00:15:03,998 --> 00:15:05,665 I haven't been this mad at you since you criticized 363 00:15:05,667 --> 00:15:07,066 the design elements on "Fixer Upper." 364 00:15:07,068 --> 00:15:08,935 I don't want to get into this again, 365 00:15:08,937 --> 00:15:11,929 but no one should ever do that much shiplap. 366 00:15:11,954 --> 00:15:13,039 It's too much! 367 00:15:13,041 --> 00:15:15,000 How dare you criticize Joanna and Chip. 368 00:15:15,025 --> 00:15:16,484 Shiplap is timeless! 369 00:15:16,591 --> 00:15:17,703 ♪ ♪ 370 00:15:24,142 --> 00:15:25,413 [ROCK MUSIC] 371 00:15:27,389 --> 00:15:29,789 So humbled to win this award. 372 00:15:29,791 --> 00:15:32,725 - Marry, [BLEEP], kill. - Yes, I love this game. 373 00:15:32,727 --> 00:15:35,361 Mr. Spinnoli, Frank, 374 00:15:35,363 --> 00:15:36,996 - and Mr. Higgins. - Mm. 375 00:15:36,998 --> 00:15:40,601 Marry Mr. Higgins, kill Spinnoli, [BLEEP] Frank. 376 00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:48,875 - We were just... - No, it's okay. 377 00:15:48,877 --> 00:15:49,904 Oh. 378 00:15:49,929 --> 00:15:51,656 This is the best we've done today. 379 00:15:51,681 --> 00:15:53,585 Yeah. Yeah. 380 00:15:55,479 --> 00:15:56,632 [SIGHS] 381 00:15:57,719 --> 00:15:59,819 Sorry you want to kill me, Cecelia. 382 00:15:59,821 --> 00:16:01,781 Come on, guys, take your seats. 383 00:16:03,391 --> 00:16:04,857 Are we okay? 384 00:16:04,859 --> 00:16:06,225 I just don't want to be the person 385 00:16:06,227 --> 00:16:08,628 who gets in the way of you doing your job. 386 00:16:08,630 --> 00:16:09,796 That's Feldman. 387 00:16:09,884 --> 00:16:11,310 And I don't want to be the person 388 00:16:11,335 --> 00:16:13,466 who comes between you and your friends. 389 00:16:13,468 --> 00:16:15,201 I know how important those gals... 390 00:16:15,203 --> 00:16:18,471 - You can just say "women." - Women are to you. 391 00:16:18,473 --> 00:16:19,734 So what do we do? 392 00:16:20,775 --> 00:16:22,341 What's up, y'all? 393 00:16:22,343 --> 00:16:26,813 I'm Eric from the, uh, Golden Pencil Company. 394 00:16:26,815 --> 00:16:28,381 How are y'all doing today? 395 00:16:28,383 --> 00:16:30,082 Whoo! All right! 396 00:16:30,084 --> 00:16:32,652 When I say "Golden," you say "Pencil." 397 00:16:32,654 --> 00:16:34,764 Pencil... shit! 398 00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:36,453 I was supposed to say "Golden." 399 00:16:37,025 --> 00:16:39,225 - All right, all right. - Thanks, Eric, 400 00:16:39,515 --> 00:16:43,703 from the official Golden Pencil headquarters. 401 00:16:44,164 --> 00:16:46,432 Chelsea, Fillmore is so proud of you. 402 00:16:46,434 --> 00:16:47,834 Aw. [LAUGHS GLEEFULLY] 403 00:16:47,836 --> 00:16:50,269 Please accept this well-deserved trophy 404 00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:54,574 and your first installment of your $5,000 prize. 405 00:16:54,576 --> 00:16:56,342 Oh, this is so great. 406 00:16:56,344 --> 00:16:57,410 Oh, my God, it's so heavy. 407 00:16:57,412 --> 00:16:58,664 - Oh. - [LAUGHS] 408 00:16:58,980 --> 00:17:00,713 [CHUCKLES] Wow, I don't even know. 409 00:17:00,715 --> 00:17:02,315 I don't even have anything prepared, 410 00:17:02,317 --> 00:17:03,914 but... hold on. 411 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:06,703 [CHUCKLES] 412 00:17:08,289 --> 00:17:09,875 [SNIFFLES, EXHALES SOFTLY] 413 00:17:10,291 --> 00:17:11,791 [TRIUMPHANT MUSIC] 414 00:17:11,793 --> 00:17:14,507 I am so humbled to win this Golden Globe... 415 00:17:15,263 --> 00:17:16,484 Pencil. 416 00:17:16,664 --> 00:17:18,531 I totally deserve it. [CHUCKLES] 417 00:17:18,533 --> 00:17:20,933 Thank you, me! [LAUGHS] 418 00:17:20,935 --> 00:17:23,945 - Yay! - I also have something to say. 419 00:17:25,807 --> 00:17:27,078 What's going on? 420 00:17:27,475 --> 00:17:28,742 [GRUNTING SOFTLY] 421 00:17:29,410 --> 00:17:31,577 After much consideration, 422 00:17:31,579 --> 00:17:34,146 and after many wonderful years, 423 00:17:34,289 --> 00:17:38,451 I've decided to step down as principal of Fillmore. 424 00:17:38,453 --> 00:17:40,085 - [ALL GASPING] - Oh, my God. 425 00:17:40,321 --> 00:17:41,484 [SOLEMN MUSIC] 426 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,054 No! 427 00:17:48,329 --> 00:17:49,601 ♪ ♪ 428 00:17:49,864 --> 00:17:52,498 Toby, please, you can't leave Fillmore. 429 00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:54,834 This is what's best for both of us, 430 00:17:54,890 --> 00:17:56,969 if we want this seed of romance 431 00:17:56,971 --> 00:18:00,875 to have a chance to bloom into a majestic Plumeria. 432 00:18:01,073 --> 00:18:02,437 [WHIMPERS] I... 433 00:18:02,911 --> 00:18:04,406 I don't know what to say. 434 00:18:05,187 --> 00:18:07,246 This is more thoughtful than when you binge-watched 435 00:18:07,248 --> 00:18:09,248 the last season of "International House Hunters" 436 00:18:09,250 --> 00:18:10,367 with me. 437 00:18:10,652 --> 00:18:11,951 Those people are insufferable, 438 00:18:11,953 --> 00:18:13,835 but I'd do anything for you. 439 00:18:14,031 --> 00:18:15,804 - [WHIMPERS] - [KNOCK ON DOOR] 440 00:18:16,491 --> 00:18:17,585 ♪ ♪ 441 00:18:18,426 --> 00:18:19,585 Hey. 442 00:18:20,375 --> 00:18:22,995 If this is because of us, don't leave. 443 00:18:22,997 --> 00:18:25,431 We just need a little time to get used to it. 444 00:18:25,433 --> 00:18:28,632 Yeah, you can't leave, man... I mean, Pearson... 445 00:18:29,656 --> 00:18:31,704 I mean, Principal Pearson. 446 00:18:31,706 --> 00:18:33,171 Thank you, but I'm leaving 447 00:18:33,492 --> 00:18:36,994 because it's the best thing for our relationship. 448 00:18:37,512 --> 00:18:38,710 ♪ 449 00:18:39,492 --> 00:18:42,968 For what it's worth, you guys make an awesome couple. 450 00:18:43,318 --> 00:18:44,492 ♪ ♪ 451 00:18:46,392 --> 00:18:47,679 [ALL GROAN] 452 00:18:48,656 --> 00:18:50,356 - No, that's sick. - Narst. 453 00:18:50,358 --> 00:18:52,325 - Ulch. - No. 454 00:18:57,344 --> 00:18:59,144 Mm. Mm. 455 00:19:02,196 --> 00:19:03,429 Hello. 456 00:19:04,461 --> 00:19:05,585 [ROCK MUSIC] 457 00:19:06,341 --> 00:19:07,664 ♪ Tear it down ♪ 458 00:19:10,180 --> 00:19:11,446 [GRUNTS] 459 00:19:11,914 --> 00:19:14,414 - Congratulations, dude. - Oh, thanks. 460 00:19:14,710 --> 00:19:15,750 Oh, and Feldman? 461 00:19:15,775 --> 00:19:17,559 - Yeah. - Just an FYI, 462 00:19:17,561 --> 00:19:20,156 the Golden Pencil Award isn't given out until June. 463 00:19:20,982 --> 00:19:22,715 April Fools, bitch! 464 00:19:22,968 --> 00:19:24,156 Wait, what? 465 00:19:24,234 --> 00:19:26,359 My mom would never be proud of me. 466 00:19:26,383 --> 00:19:30,083 www.fmsubs.com 466 00:19:31,305 --> 00:19:37,902 Please rate this subtitle at %url% Help other users to choose the best subtitles 32284

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