Original subtitles

[Silence]

[***]

[Alarms start wailing]

[Squeaks]

[Power ramping up]

[Over intercom]: Antarctica shuttle 9,

this is orbital traffic control,

your flight plan has not been registered.

Please respond.

[Static crackling]

Antarctica shuttle 9,

you are heading towards an active debris field.

Orbital sanitation station 8518 Regina,

are you expecting any shuttles?

[Reply]: Station Regina here.

Shuttle 23 just dropped off an engineer

to repair our mainframe.

[Antarctica ground control]: Never mind.

The shuttle just disappeared off our radar screens.

[Station regina]: Must be a sensor glitch.

[Station captain]: Do you have fruits, vegetables,

or other food products?

[Engineer on shuttle]: No.

Fever, stuffy nose, cold symptoms?

No.

[Door hisses open]

[Luggage clattering]

Hi.

Are you, uh... Captain bal...

Bal... venie?

Call me Anton.

We're very informal around here.

[Station systems chug and whirr]

Jimmy Anderson, united spaceworkers orbital 108 since 2147,

allergic to pollen.

Whoa...

Certified level nine rating?

Do you want me to go back?

We got you up here,

I'll put you to work.

Because this is my first orbital assignment, so...

Well, let me clue you in.

Up here, the work never stops.

The orbital debris is always piling up,

and someone has to be in every sector

with a line of sight

to keep the launch vectors clear.

Do you follow me?

You got it, chief.

I'm not a chief,

I'm the captain.

Sorry.

Just make sure you finish by 0800 zulu.

I'm not signing any overtime forms.

Oh, and by the way,

can you fix mess hall food dispensers?

Uh, well, maybe.

What seems to be the problem with it?

It's only giving us sandwiches.

That's your next job after the mainframe.

[Tone chimes] [Gentle female computer voice]: Two minutes until calisthenics.

Repeat, two minutes until calisthenics.

[Tone chimes]

Sorry.

That's the terminal that's broken there.

That is lieutenant tilda genero. You don't need to talk to her.

-Okay. -And the coffee machine isn't working.

Can you fix that?

Well, I don't know. I'm going to have to take the mainframe--

[mumbles mockingly]

Just fix it.

[Scoffs]

What's his problem?

I said, "what's his problem?"

Yeah, you can't hear me 'cause of your earphones.

I can hear you.

Okay.

[Panting]

I'm putting in for a transfer.

Not this again, val.

There's always something on deep-space transports.

You know?

A chance to see the galaxy.

It's all the same.

Well, then,

maybe I'll realize what I'm missing,

and come back.

But what about us?

What about me?

Is this because of the other night?

I've already told you,

that was an egg sandwich.

You know I shouldn't eat eggs.

That wasn't it.

Is it the sex?

No, the sex is fine.

So, what's your problem?

[Chuckles ruefully]

[Ground control]: Sanitation station Regina,

we have the unregistered Antarctica shuttle

on our screens again,

heading towards you. We have an alarm

indicating a high probability of debris collision.

-Ground control, we're not reading any debris here. -Regina, please check again.

[Tilda]: It's probably a sensor glitch.

[Ground control]: Negative,

the debris appears to be between class 2 and class 3.

Destroy it with a proton beam. -It is too big for a proton beam if it's class 3.

You know that.

-What do they want now? -There's a cargo drone coming in.

They've got a collision alarm.

Hmm...

Looks too small for a laser sweep.

Yeah, it's probably just a false alarm.

What do you want me to tell them?

You guys want me to check the sensors?

-'Cause I don't mind. -No.

I want you to go back to work.

Okay.

[Beeps intercom on] This is captain balvenie of the sanitation station 8518.

Who the hell

is trying to tell my operations officer

how to do her job?

[Ground control]: Captain, i- -you have to get someone else.

Our main computer is down for service. -Hold on...

Antarctica station now tells me

it's a priority one situation.

That is not our problem.

The book says it's too small for a laser sweep.

So it's too small for a laser sweep.

Why don't you check your book?

Why am I even dealing with this?

Where's Valentina? It's her shift.

[Beeps intercom]

Valentina to the control room immediately!

That's Valentina to the control room

immediately!

[Sighs heavily]

[Ground control]: Why don't you take out a pod to pick it up?

Because we don't take pods out

for class two debris!

This is sanitation station Regina out.

[Beeps off intercom] Morons.

Did they just ask for a pod for class 2 debris?

[Jimmy]: Do you guys know

where I could get, like, a sandwich or something? I'm kind of hungry.

Oh, would you like a sandwich?

You know what i would like?

I'd like my computer fixed.

So fix it.

Oh.

Sure thing, Anton.

That's captain balvenie to you.

[Alarms wail]

What is that? Is everything okay?

Collision detected.

Secondary explosion.

We're reading a class six debris field out there.

Lots of it.

Are there any salvage crews in the sector?

[Ground control over intercom]: Salvage teams delta one

and tango three to sector four immediately!

They must really want that pod.

Think there's something good in there?

That is my bet.

Then I'm calling it.

Match the orbit and position for pod launch.

Run the checklist!

Tell Valentina to meet me in airlock two.

We are going fishing.

[Tilda, over intercom]: Valentina,

report to airlock two for salvage pod launch.

On that subject, how does it work with the salvage thing?

Do you guys, like, split it amongst the crew?

Or...

Three-way split.

'Cause it should be four ways now 'cause I'm here, and I'm the fourth guy--

you didn't sign in. You're not crew.

Well, where's the sign-in sheet?

Yeah. I'll sign in later.

[Valentina]: So, what are we saying a three-way split on salvage?

Absolutely. There's no way I'm cutting in that new guy.

Uh, that's the good space suit.

Well, I was here first, and you can handle the heat better.

Fine, fine.

There's nothing wrong with the other suit anyway.

I don't care.

I just took a bath.

I said fine.

[Sighs]

[Activating pod]

Why are we even bothering with this?

This could be the haul we've been waiting for.

They are going crazy

about whatever was on that cargo drone.

Well, what is it?

I don't know,

but it's got to be something good.

Looks like there's something over there.

Oh, yeah, I see it.

Line us up.

[Ground control]: Sanitation pod,

do not approach the debris field.

The area will be salvaged by an authorized crew.

Do not approach the debris field.

This is now a secure sector--

ground control, this is our sector,

and we need to keep this space clear.

We got all sorts of transports coming through today.

[Ground control]: Negative! Stand down-- -you see? They really want

whatever was in that shuttle. This is going to be a good one.

Did you bring one for me?

Veggie?

Is there ham?

You got the good space suit.

Take the ham.

Mm.

[Sighs]

That's a lot of buttons.

I have to manage this salvage operation.

You know, I'm just going to go back over here, so I'll talk to you in a bit.

[Anton, over intercom]: Okay, almost full.

Let's dump this load and we might get back for another one.

Got it. Securing the hatch.

Hatch secure.

Oh.

Looks like there might be an active energy source in there.

Yeah, it's all right. We'll need to skip the safety check.

Look, we've got about two minutes.

If we can get this onboard, it's ours.

[Debris clatters]

[Boom]

Are they shooting at us?

I don't know. Hold on.

All the sensors are down.

Where's the debris field?

Where's everything?

[Anton, over intercom]: Tilda, can you get in touch with ground control?

Ground control, come in.

Ground control?

It's not the sensors.

Something's wrong.

Okay, something's happened.

We're heading back in.

You know, it sounds like

he's holding the microphone way too close to his mouth. -Do you think so?

Yeah, he should be, like, three to four inches--

I used to work at a supermarket, um, and they told me that

when I was making the aisle announcements--

new guy?

Shut up.

Okay.

[Pod powering down]

[Door hisses open]

-Any luck with ground control? -No response. On any channel.

Did you guys see that bright flash of light?

Yeah, I'm still seeing spots.

-Was it a solar flare? -Yeah, maybe. I don't think so.

Good salvage?

-Who said you could take a break? -Uh, nobody.

Are you guys okay?

Yeah. Can you go see what our salvage is?

You guys want me to do anything, or...

And report to me in 10.

Arse.

[Engine chugging]

[Electricity crackles]

Who the hell are you?

[Distant screaming]

[Machine whines]

Tilda?

[Gasps]

Oh! Uh... I'm-I'm sorry.

Is this the laundry room? 'Cause I was looking for the rec room,

and then I heard a scream, so I came in here, but I'm sorry--

really sorry if I startled you. I didn't mean to.

I didn't see anything. So, anyway, I'm just going to go back to the rec room--

oh!

I'm really sorry about that. I didn't...

What's the matter?

[Drops boots]

Hey--

hey, you forgot your...

Boots.

[Exhales anxiously] Wendi?

[Gentle female computer voice]: Hello, Jimmy. -Where's the laundry room?

Deck c.

Does tilda have a boyfriend?

[Anton, over crackly intercom]: Jimmy! How are the repairs coming?

Jimmy?

Get on the intercom, Jimmy!

Anton?

You'd better be getting all over this mainframe problem!

I want hourly reports every half hour!

I can't really understand--

just get on it, god damn it!

Copy that.

-[Sighs] -[Alerts surge and blare]

[Computer voice stammers as power dies]

Wendi?

[Valentina]: This is the western alliance

sanitation station Regina,

in orbit,

does anyone receive this message?

Please respond.

This is the sanitation station Regina, please respond--

what are you doing?

I'm trying to figure out what you're doing wrong.

[Jimmy kicks bulkhead]

Did you fix the mainframe yet?

Yeah, here's the thing about that,

it's taking me a little bit longer than I anticipated, so...

And also, I've got to call down for some parts.

-There's nothing out there. -I don't see how that can be true.

It must be a communications problem.

We're having a communications problem

right now.

I am telling you there is nothing out there.

We need wendi to do a full analysis.

Hold on a second.

Are you saying there's nothing out there?

Why didn't anybody tell me?

I mean, I got to get back to earth.

Well, that's not going to happen any time soon.

So, what, we're stranded?

[Tone chimes]

[Computer voice]: Two minutes until scrabble.

Repeat, two minutes until scrabble. [Tone chimes]

That's not even a word.

-Do I have to play? -Yes.

We need to stick to a schedule.

Schedule says scrabble. How's your sandwich?

It's not very good. It's just like...

Yeah? Well, that's all there is until breakfast tomorrow.

-What's for breakfast? -Sandwiches.

[Drops sandwich, sighing]

Tell me something, Jimmy,

is there someone special waiting for you back on earth?

I-i have a girlfriend.

Do you actually have a girlfriend?

There's a girl that I'm friends with,

and I was going to ask her out.

Are you actually friends?

We know each other. I know her.

Sort of... Sort of know each other--

[thumps table] Times up. Minus one point.

[Distant clattering]

[Anton]: Hey, tilda. Do you want a sandwich?

We kept you the pickled onion and cheese.

What are you looking for?

What's she looking for?

Fifteen seconds overtime.

Make a word. -I'm making a word.

[Sighs huffily]

Just make a decision.

I don't rush in

and make stupid, inexplicable decisions, like some people!

Leaving you is not a rash decision.

It's totally inexplicable!

-You guys need a minute, so I'll just-- -no, just sit down.

We're playing scrabble.

[Crashing]

What was that?

[Alerts beep]

That was an impact.

Pressure nominal.

Check the cnw3, Jimmy.

Uh... okay.

Not quite sure what I'm looking at, though, uh--

orbital position, Jimmy.

Orbital position is...

Other console, Jimmy.

Right, uh... Okay, got it.

The fail-safe thrusters have kicked in.

Orbit is stable.

Collision checklists?

Working on it.

Let's see where it hit us.

What is it?

An asteroid would have done more damage.

It looks like a...

I don't know.

It's small.

And yellow.

[Latch snaps]

[Beeping console]

[Doors hiss shut]

He's almost there.

He's got it.

Is that...

Your rubber duckie?

Well, it looks like it.

It was dented into the outer hull.

Well, how did this get into space?

Exactly.

Why don't you tell me, hmm?

[Stammering]: Where are you going?

[Sighs]

It's kind of weird.

How many of these things do you have?

Just the one.

Hmm.

Funny that.

Because they're identical.

[Sucks his teeth]

Why would you deny that it's yours? -Because it's not.

Hey!

They're not identical.

One says "v + g,"

the other one says "g + v."

Where'd you get this?

It was a gift.

[Ducks squeak]

What is it, tilda?

-Do you know something about this, tilda? -Has she said anything today?

Not to me.

-She's acting weird. -[Noncommittally]: Eh? I hadn't noticed.

[Tone chimes] [Computer voice]: Two minutes until bedtime.

Repeat, two minutes until bedtime. [Tone chimes]

[Computer voice]: Two minutes until breakfast.

Repeat, two minutes until breakfast. [Tone chimes]

[Grunting steadily]

Your shift starts in ten minutes.

[Sighs]

[Beeps console, dispenser whirrs]

[Hand-grip rattles with tension]

[Grunting with effort]

[Typing commands]

Hi, tilda.

How long you been in orbit?

Yeah.

I'm still getting used to it, myself.

It's not as...

Exciting as I thought it was going to be.

But then again, I guess that's a good thing, right?

After what happened to earth and all.

What do you think happened to earth?

You know, I'm testing the circuits

coming off the recursive logic decoupler

for a memory leak--

[tilda kicks console]

[Power surges back on]

[Console chirps]

Wow.

Why don't you ever say anything?

Anton? I fixed the computer.

[Anton, over intercom]: On our way.

Hey, listen, um...

I know you're looking for something,

and I can help you, if you just tell me what it is.

-You fixed it. -Yeah--

-it's about time. -Finally!

Wendi? -Oh, uh, it's just rebooting, so just give it...

A moment. [Clears throat]

Wendi, respond.

[Wendi, in British male voice]: Good morning, captain.

Why is she talking in a man's voice?

I like the old voice better. Fix it.

Wendi, status report.

Several systems are sub-nominal,

including communications and vector processing.

Logs show that a collision has occurred.

Yeah, that was a rubber duck.

Well done, Jimmy. -Wendi, can you reach ground control?

[Wendi]: No communications.

Relay stations are not responding. Initial analysis is negative.

Wendi, what happened to us?

[Wendi powers down]

[Scoffs in disgust]

-Fix it. -You know, I think tilda can help.

Sure. She's no good to me.

Tilda, help Jimmy.

Or just go. You know, that's fine, too.

You know, you need to work on that attitude, tilda.

Am I the only one who's trying to hold things together on this station?

I'm telling you, Jimmy, it's lonely at the top.

[Muttering]

Hey, tilda.

You have trouble sleeping?

You want to play scrabble?

What's happening to us, tilda?

What's with the rubber ducks?

Anton,

he thinks you're space-crazy.

I mean, to be honest, sometimes, you do seem kind of distant.

But you know, I think you're just dealing with things

in your own way.

[Rapidly arranging tiles]

[Gasps in fright]

God...

You have to connect the words.

Did I scare you, Jimmy?

Hmm?

'Cause I'm everywhere,

and I've got my eye on you.

Is that my jumpsuit?

Who said you could wear my jumpsuit?

-I didn't pack anything else. -You have to earn that uniform.

You can't just put it on.

[Dispenser whirrs]

Take it off, and wash it,

carefully.

And you,

shape up.

What is so special about that rubber duck?

Why do you keep it around?

Fond memories.

Hmm.

"Fond."

Yeah. Is there something wrong with that?

Well,

are they more fond or less fond

than memories of me?

It's not all about you, Anton.

I want to get off this station.

I have wanted to get off this station

since before we were stranded.

I need a change of scenery.

I'm sick of this place!

So, whoever gave you this rubber duck

has nothing to do with this change of heart?

It has nothing to do with Gary.

Oh, so now we have a name.

Gary.

So who is this Gary, hmm?

What's Gary up to these days, eh?

Do you keep in contact with Gary?

I haven't spoken to him in years, and we were just friends.

Ah!

You just happen to have a growing collection

of his bath toys.

It's none of your business.

You and I,

we're separated.

We are?

Since when?

[Power surges on]

[Computer warbles]

Wendi?

Can you identify me?

[Wendi, still male-voiced]: You are station engineering specialist Jimmy Anderson.

You are a libra.

Your favorite color is blue.

Your favorite food is chocolate cake. -Well, looks like

your social interface program is back online.

Yes, Jimmy, it is.

I am pleased that you noticed.

Why do you have a man's voice?

I am operating on default human interface settings.

Well, Anton hates it.

Would you like to select a different interface protocol?

No, no, you can keep it this way.

Oh, hey, can you show me the station video monitors?

What is tilda doing?

Tilda is accessing

the English human language simulator array.

-Why are women so complicated? -That is not in my database.

Have you ever been in love, wendi?

I love being the Regina's mainframe computer.

You haven't fixed the voice yet.

It's, uh, stuck that way.

What's the male version of wendi?

Winston?

Walter? Walter.

Hey, you know, i knew a guy named wendi.

Well, his real name wasn't wendi, I don't think.

We just called him wendi.

His actual name was wendall.

That's probably the male for "wendi."

'Cause it's not "e,"

it's "ll".

Finished?

-Yeah. -Mm-hmm.

Wendi, we will be calling you "Walter" from now on.

That's Walter.

Walter, respond.

My name is wendi.

Hey, uh, listen,

I don't think these power converters

are going to hold, and we don't have any spares-- -take a look in the salvage bay,

you'll probably find something in there you can use.

Salvage bay, got it.

Now.

Oh. Oh.

My name...

Is wendi.

Where did you come from?

[Sighs]

Wendi, what do you have on Valentina's work history?

-All records are online. -Did she ever work with someone called "Gary?"

Valentina interned with professor Gary pinback

of the Antarctica

quantum transportation research station.

And who is this Gary pinback?

Professor pinback was a leading expert

in transdimensional transportation theory-- -okay, okay, all right. Good.

But what I mean is, who is he?

You know, has he had a lot of girlfriends?

What does he look like? Is he handsome?

Have you got vital statistics?

Medical records?

Photographs? Have you any photographs of him?

With his shirt off.

At the beach maybe?

Or-or data on his...

Anatomy?

[Console warbles]

Oh, god.

He's hung like a donkey.

[Sighs]

Is he athletic?

Is he more athletic than me?

Professor pinback theorized

that it was possible to transport life forms

between dimensions of time and space

to parallel realities.

Well, that doesn't sound glamorous, does it?

Doesn't sound sexy.

Sounds like a lot of math.

Professor pinback's theories

may in fact explain

the absence of human life outside the station.

How long did val and Gary work together?

Approximately three years.

Did they go on any trips together?

That information is not on file.

You know something, wendi,

you're completely useless.

You are completely useless and utterly stupid.

I am sorry, captain.

[Muttering]: Yeah, well.

It's easy to be sorry, isn't it, wendi?

[Duckie squeaks]

[Feedback whines over intercom] Valentina!

[Anton shouts]: Valentina! -Hello? Anton?

[Anton]: Break room, immediately!

[Computer voice]: Two minutes until lunch.

Repeat, two minutes until lunch.

[Crash echoes]

How's it going, tilda?

Since these strange events started, you haven't said a word.

You haven't eaten.

Now, I've noticed, 'cause I notice things,

'cause I'm the captain.

You haven't slept,

and I can see that you're deeply troubled

by what's going on.

And frankly, tilda,

I'm a little disappointed

you haven't held it together.

I mean, you're a trained officer.

I know things are a bit tough just now,

but, you know,

I've been through a lot worse situations.

All you need is a positive attitude.

Try a smile once in a while.

Can you do that, tilda?

Let a smile be your umbrella.

I don't hear an answer, tilda.

You've found the time cube.

Wow.

I-is that what that is?

What's a time cube?

We have to make sure this never activates.

Uh, w-what do you mean by "activate?"

'Cause it was on when I found it.

I didn't-- i didn't do anything.

What the hell is going on?

All life on earth just ended.

I thought all life on earth ended yesterday.

[Scoffs in disgust] Great, Anton.

Is she blaming me for this?

Yeah.

How is this my fault?

Why didn't you tell me that she's speaking now?

And why is she talking to you and not me?

Calm down.

[Angrily]: I am calm.

Look, why are you angry with me?

Because you're excluding me.

Well, maybe if you spent more time in the control room

and less time in your bath,

you'd know what was going on.

And, by the way,

I know that you and this Gary were more than just friends.

How would you know that?

Wendi told me.

[Scoffs]

[Whispering in shock]: That is an invasion of my privacy.

So it's true!

I knew it.

You filthy cow.

-What is it? -This is a chronotronic

quantum flux transfer event generator.

Really?

It is the most dangerous machine ever created.

Oh.

It's beautiful.

Just like you.

[Squeaking]

Let's forget about this Gary thing

for a second.

Maybe you were with him,

maybe you were just friends, it doesn't matter.

What matters is

you're over him, and you're with me now.

So, let's stop all this stupid fighting, eh?

You're right, Anton.

Good.

What's the point of fighting

with a shit for brains,

whiny little control freak with no balls,

stupid, stinky suck with no sense of style, charm,

or personal hygiene?

Your feet stink,

and they are inhumanly hairy,

and sweaty.

You rub them up against me at night,

and it's like a stray cat.

It's like a phlegm-covered fur ball.

And you pass a lot of gas when you sleep.

It's like being in a chamber

full of poo particulates, and I'm suffocating.

And you're a mouth-breather.

And you... You grunt a lot when you go to the bathroom.

The entire ship can hear you. -Good.

It's like you're passing a death star through your ass, Anton.

I would rather shit myself publicly

than be stuck on this station with you.

I can see you don't want to talk just now.

That's fine.

I'm just going to go and get changed. [Sighing]

Get myself a coffee.

Come and see me when you're ready.

[Tilda]: I'm a robot.

You're a what?

[Electricity zaps, Jimmy yelps]

Ow.

[Zapping] Ow! Ow!

Okay, okay, okay, stop, please.

I run on electricity.

Do it again.

[Zaps] Ow!

God, it's like a socket.

[Zaps] Ah! Oh, man...

That's just awesome.

[Typing at console]

[Dispenser whirrs]

Oh, hey, tilda is a robot. -No, she's not.

-Yeah, she is-- -nice to see you're speaking again, tilda.

I haven't spoken before today.

Where I come from, we don't need to speak.

-We've all heard you speak. -I've come from a parallel universe.

Since when?

It's okay, tilda, tell them what you told me.

Someone has been traveling across alternate dimensions,

creating destruction on a galactic scale.

Our earth is almost completely destroyed.

We discovered that this station

is the nexus point of all damaged realities.

We only had one chance--

to bring me here to replace your tilda,

and make sure this time cube was never activated.

My station

is the nexus point?

We've never activated anything.

Did you turn it on?

-Look, there's a keypad here that I haven't figured out yet-- -put down the time cube.

-Okay. -Did you turn it on?

No! Okay? I...

Here-here's exactly what happened...

I found it, and it was on.

And that's it. Now, when I dropped it,

which, it was... I mean, that could happen to anyone.

It fell, I picked it up, it was fine.

Like, it was exactly the way it was when I found it, so the fall is irrelevant.

But it was still activated,

so the answer to the question is no.

I didn't do anything.

[Alerts beeping] -Wendi, what's the problem?

[Wendi]: I have detected a dangerous power fluctuation in the control room.

-Jimmy, I thought you fixed that? -Yeah, I did.

This must be something new. -Val, why don't you go take a look?

-Why me? -You wanted to be involved,

go get involved. -Fine. Keep an eye on the robot.

[Stammers futilely]

I'm sorry.

[Alerts beeping]

[Punching commands, alerts stop]

Nominal, nominal, five by five.

[Beeps intercom] Anton? [Goo squelches]

[Anton, over intercom]: Go ahead, val.

-Looks like it was a false alarm. -Okay, thank you.

False alarm, just as I thought.

What the hell is this?

[Duckie]: Please... Don't run.

My legs are short, and it hurts.

Valentina...

It hurts to exist. [Voice breaking]: I shouldn't be here.

What the f...

I'm stuck in a transdimensional rift

across the 12th dimension.

[Squeaking]

[Gasps]

Don't run away.

What do you want?

I need to get back to my dimension. I need my time cube.

Valentina, it's me.

Gary.

My god, you're beautiful.

Gary?

Yes. It's me.

[Anton]: You were saying...

You came here to replace our tilda,

to stop someone from using this time cube, but he isn't here.

And what happened to our tilda?

There was an accident.

And is she around here?

Somewhere?

No.

So, you can see why I'd be concerned to hear

that a member of my crew has gone missing.

Things didn't go according to plan.

I couldn't explain this to your tilda.

Professor pinback isn't here

like he is supposed to be. -Yeah, you mentioned that.

Wait a minute.

Professor Gary pinback?

-Yes. -That's who's supposed to be on this station?

Yes.

Son of a bitch.

[Valentina]: How did this happen, Gary? -It was an accident.

The cube was activated in my escape,

and I was shunted through a dimensional vortex

into this stupid body.

But I was on my way here for you.

For me?

I promised you that one day I'd give you the world.

I came here to keep that promise.

I can take you away from all of this.

Gary, that was years ago.

Until I activate the time cube,

I will continue to bleed across the dimensional boundary.

I don't know what I'll become.

Sounds painful.

It's very painful!

I need your help, Valentina.

There isn't much time.

[Alerts blare]

[Whispers urgently] Gary?

[Alarms blaring]

-What the hell is going on now? -This is how it begins.

I'm already too late.

Right. I'm going to the control room. You keep an eye on...

The robot. I'm telling you,

if that son of a bitch is on my station,

I'm going to find him.

You two,

stay put.

[Power surging]

Hey, hey, hey,

what's the matter?

The time cube has been activated,

and there's nothing i can do to stop it.

Infinite universes will be destroyed.

A week ago, I never thought I'd be in orbit.

People said, "that Jimmy, he doesn't have the stomach.

"He doesn't have the training.

He doesn't have the cajones."

But I got myself together

and I paid a guy 150 bucks

to forge my certification forms,

and now look at me.

I made the impossible possible.

The other tilda,

I didn't mean to kill her.

I know.

Let's go use wendi's cameras, and let's find this Gary.

Okay. [Electricity zaps, Jimmy yelps]

[Screaming in pain]

You're nice.

I'm really glad you can talk.

There's something that i couldn't tell you before.

What is it?

We can't trust Valentina.

-What's happening? -I don't know.

All the control relays are offline.

Gary is on this station.

What?

Have you talked to him?

No.

Wendi, are there any other men on this station besides myself?

[Wendi]: Jimmy Anderson is onboard the station.

Besides Jimmy?

[Wendi]: No, Anton.

Where the hell is he hiding?

What are you two up to?

Get off my case, Anton.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Who says Gary's onboard?

Tilda.

[Laughs derisively]

She also says she's a robot.

Do you believe everything everyone tells you?

Gary gave you the second duck. Admit that.

If you want answers, go grill the robot.

Fine, we'll start with that.

She's probably the one

who blew the control systems.

And another thing,

we shouldn't leave them alone

with the cube anymore.

What's so special about this cube?

[Rumbling]

[Anton, over intercom]: Jimmy? Take tilda to the computer room

and see if you can get the control system back up.

Yeah, we're in the computer room now.

I told you to stay put!

Okay. [Beeps intercom off]

Do you know what's going on here? -I don't know.

But I don't think we have much time.

How much time is not much time?

Hours.

[Rumbling]

-Anton... -There is definitely something wrong.

Check the air pressure. -Anton!

-What? -Um...

Okay, so i-i haven't been totally honest.

Oh.

Gary is onboard.

Where is that bastard? And how did he get on my station?

Actually, you brought him on.

-I brought him on? When did I bring him on? -He just needs his time cube,

then he can go back to his dimension and set things right.

Oh, of course.

All he wants is his time cube.

He's got no interest in you whatsoever.

He's the only one who can send us home.

[Gary wheezing]

[Squeaking]

What the hell is that?

Anton...

Anton, please.

You're going to scare him.

Him?

[Grumbling softly, squeaking]

[Whispering] Hey!

Hello, little guy.

No, no, don't be afraid.

We're not going to hurt you.

What the hell is that thing?

That's Gary.

That's Gary? That thing?

Right. [Powering weapon] -Anton, no!

[Weapon splutters and dies] That's weird.

Must be the battery or something. I should have--

you should have charged it, i told you that! "Charge it up," I said.

"Val, I'm taking my blaster, charge it up."

Jesus, is it too much to ask?

Charge up the blaster?

[Snarling]

[Muffled shouts]

[Screams]

[Screaming]

[Stammering]

Where did it go?

He's really strong for a little guy.

I told you to be careful.

Look, why didn't you just tell me about him?

I tried to tell you.

[Wincing] Ah!

How is your head?

It hurts!

Look, did you know what that thing was

before we brought it onboard?

No, of course not.

-Look what he did to me. -He was frightened.

Whose side are you on?

[Stumbling movement]

Do you see him? -No.

Whoa, Anton, wait!

Look,

I'm not going to hurt him too much.

I'm just going to subdue him.

That's all right.

That's fair, isn't it?

[Both screaming]

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

[All screaming]

What happened to your head?

I was attacked by a rubber duck!

[Tone chimes, computer voice]: Two minutes until lunch.

-What? -Repeat, two minutes until lunch.

[Tone chimes]

[Dispenser whirrs]

So it's some kind of animal?

Yup. And it's getting bigger.

-How big is it? -About the size of a small dog. Like, a pug, maybe.

And it bites. Hard. What have you got?

Butter. Carrot.

Okra. -God help us.

-Ham. -Ham? I'll take the ham.

All right, well, we checked with wendi.

It doesn't seem like this Gary's onboard. So, that's good, right?

Gary is the duck.

-How? -Oh, I think Valentina's got something

she'd like to share with us.

I don't know all the facts.

[Muffled by sandwich] No, go on, please!

The time cube brought him here through the duck.

It was an accident. -Okay, hold on, this is the Gary

that tilda said destroyed the earth.

He's the duck?

Yes, and he's on this station.

He's part man, part rubber duck,

part something else,

I don't know what.

And I'm going to kill him.

How is that going to help?

'Cause he tried to suck my face off!

He's going through a lot of changes.

He's not thinking straight.

He's the only one who can set things right,

if we give him the time cube.

He is not here to help us.

Oh, and I suppose you are?

I'm with tilda on this for the time being.

What?

Yeah, me too.

Nobody asked you, Jimmy.

Okay.

I'm sorry, val.

Plan a,

we get control of Gary. -Yes.

-We have to assume he's going to keep smashing things. -Totally.

Jimmy, you and tilda,

go and work on wendi.

-I love it. -If we can get eyes on him,

we can close doors remotely, and we can trap him-- -yes!

Val and I will go and look for the duck. Are you with me?

No.

You said yourself he's not thinking straight.

I'm not going to give him the time cube.

That's how we got into this problem in the first place.

Oh, hey, do we have weapons?

-Everybody, take one. -Don't we have real weapons?

Like, like lasers or something?

The laser's broke.

Just, uh, make do.

And I'll take this.

[Whispering] Gary?

Gary?

[Gasps, startled]

-Did you see him? -No.

What are you going to do with him, Anton?

Well, first, I'm going to ask him

to stop smashing up my space station.

I mean, that's reasonable, isn't it? -Yeah.

And then I'm going to kill him just as hard as I can.

[Squeaking]

[Rumbling]

[Kicks debris]

[Shouting in panic]

[Shouting in panic]

[Plastic knife clatters]

Jimmy, wait.

[Electricity crackling]

-[Gasping in shock] -Jimmy... Jimmy, are you okay?

Whoa. Yeah.

Whoa...

[Gasping]

That was... That was just... crazy.

-Jimmy. -I have a headache,

but it's not a...

It's not a bad headache. It's like a good headache,

and it's in my whole body, not just in my head.

I'm sorry.

No, it's okay.

In my dimension, we have ways of showing our affection for each other,

and they're really different,

but equally as interesting.

If you ever want me to show you those ways,

I would be happy to. Even, like, right now, if you want to.

[Rumbling]

Jimmy, we don't have time. -Yeah, you're right.

[Grunting and squeaking] [Dispenser whirrs]

[Slathering]

[Dispenser whirring, Gary snacking lustily]

[Gargling and belching]

[Beeps console] [Power whines on] The power system is still up.

We've got to locate the damaged circuits, somehow.

They could be anywhere between here and the control room.

Gary must have done something. -I'll talk to wendi.

What are you going to do?

Turn around.

Okay.

No peeking.

What-what are you doing?

I'm accessing wendi's backup system.

No, I mean, what are you doing with the rs232 cable?

[Computer beeps] [Wendi]: Hello, tilda.

Hello, wendi.

The central logic processor is up.

All systems are online.

The control interface has been deactivated.

It was the duck.

Gary. Well, what did he do?

Look.

Our orbit has been altered.

We're going to hit the atmosphere.

-How much time do we have? -About 28 minutes.

-[Beeps intercom] Anton? -The intercoms have been locked out.

We have to get to the control room.

Yeah. You're right.

You know, you are really -[Unzipping]

Going to have to explain that later.

-[Electricity crackles] -[Wincing] Ah! Oh...

Oh, Jimmy,

you don't have a static discharge buffer.

You're completely made of meat.

Meat that loves you, tilda.

Gary?

[Whispering] Gary!

Where the hell are you?

Gary?

[Sighs]

Come on, Gary, please.

We need to talk. [Yelps in fright]

[Bones crunch, Jimmy groans in pain] What are you doing?

Ow!

You scared the crap out of me.

Ow.

-Where's Anton? -We split up.

What are you doing here?

We're falling out of orbit.

Gary's done something to the guidance systems.

Have you found him? -No. He's not between here and engineering.

Well, there's only one place he could be, then.

[Trips on bulkhead] [Groans] Ah! Ow...

[Whispers] Anton!

-[Gasps in fright] -[Whispering] Anton, it's over here.

-Hold that. -It's horrible.

[Squeaking and squelching]

Stay back.

-Whoa-ho! -Where is the time cube?

-What time cube? -Where is the time cube?

Wait a minute.

You come onto my space station,

you try to steal my girlfriend,

you turn the place upside down,

and now you're demanding time cubes!

Who do you think I am?

[Roaring a war cry]

[Blows squeak against Gary's body]

Ah, you big rubber dick!

[Blows squeaking]

[Roaring in pain]

That's it.

Let's grapple!

Sharp!

Sharp! Teeth!

[Gary roaring]

[Anton screams]

[Screaming]

[Blows thudding] [Screams echo]

I need a first-aid kit.

Oh, he's leaking.

Valentina,

where's the first aid kit?

Valentina?

Gary?

Why are you doing this?

For you.

You realize you'll kill me, too,

if this station falls out of orbit.

Are you with this Anton guy now?

I was for a while.

I don't know.

He fights like a girl.

Do you think he'd cross alternate dimensions for you?

I travelled through time for you.

I know.

You're mutating faster and faster.

I could put everything back the way it was.

Would you want that?

Would you want to keep living

on this rusted space dumpster

forever?

With this Anton guy?

You didn't have to hurt him, Gary.

Come with me. We will return to earth, to the dawn of man.

There we will lay the foundations

of a million-year dynasty,

and rule an empire over all space and time.

We will dominate the galaxy together.

Once I have the time cube,

the universe is ours. Valentina,

I came here for you.

I did this all for you.

That's so sweet.

[Gasps]

[Anton coughs, breathing hard]

[Groans in pain]

-[Muttering in uncertainty] -[Wincing in pain]

Jimmy, our orbit is still decaying.

You must stop our descent.

You have to go to the control room.

Are you going to be okay?

Yes.

[Coughs and gasps]

[Rumbling]

[Wincing in pain]

Where did you go?

Anton is hurt pretty badly.

[Gary, over intercom]: Attention, crew of the sanitation station Regina,

prepare to be incinerated.

Incinerated...

[Beeping console]

He's in the storage bay.

[Console whirring]

[Beep]

Ha ha!

Gotcha.

[Roaring]

[Tentacle squeaks]

All right, he's locked in, but we have to hurry.

Help me figure out the thruster controls.

[Beeping commands rapidly]

[Jimmy groaning in pain]

Ow. Oh...

[Beeping commands rapidly]

What are you doing?

I'm out of here, Jimmy.

I'm done.

Where are you going?

[Heavy thud]

Thanks, tilda.

[Wincing] [Beeps console] Oh, no.

She let Gary out.

[Groaning]

[Tentacles squeaking]

[Shuddering and rumbling]

Just give Gary the time cube.

He'll help us. He'll save us.

He's a monster.

It's just a phase!

It's getting hot in here.

-Yes. -Why?

We are entering the upper atmosphere.

Is that bad?

We have 15 minutes.

Fifteen minutes?

That's not enough time to fix all the damage.

Maybe we should make a deal.

A deal? With Gary?

[Rumbling]

No.

We can't allow Gary to have total control over time and space.

[Tilda beeping commands]

[Power surges]

Wendi's online.

Wendi, we're falling.

Correct our orbital position.

[Wendi]: I am sorry, Jimmy.

There was a break in my control path to the thrusters.

Rebooting and initialization will take approximately three hours.

Well, we have 14 minutes.

Leave wendi to me.

What? How?

[Unzipping] Oh. Sorry.

[Cable clicks]

We are entering the mesosphere.

It's pretty ugly down here.

[Ripping tape]

I can't find where the break is.

Networking.

[Wendi]: Hello, tilda.

Hi, wendi.

[Rumbling]

How's it going up there?

Try bank 5, unit lbj425.

Uh... here?

No, one circuit over.

What about... here?

No, but you're getting closer.

[Rumbling]

Here's the problem.

The mid-range data processor is totally fried.

We need it to control the thrust vector.

-You can't fix it? -Yeah, I can fix it, but I don't have the parts.

Oh, no, where's val?

The time cube!

[Zipping]

We're dead.

No, we're not.

I need your wire cutters.

Oh! God, I wish you'd warned me

if you were going to do something like that.

Oh...

Okay, one second.

Try this.

Don't you need this?

I have two.

Let me plug this in.

[Wincing]

Almost there.

[Computer chirps]

[Power surges]

It's working!

[Power dies]

It's not working.

Thruster control is on another different circuit.

It's still offline.

-But it should work. -No, there's another break in the control path.

Are you okay?

I'll be okay.

But there's only one way to target the thrusters.

How?

Manually.

You mean outside.

Yes, Jimmy, outside.

Take this.

You fixed it.

I think so.

We only have ten minutes,

and then the entire outer hull is going to burn away.

Hurry.

Drop your cocks and sell your stocks.

[Muttering] Sharp teeth...

Who's there?

Valentina?

It's over, Anton. We're leaving.

You can't trust someone who wants to eat you.

Gary loves me.

He loves me in ways you can't possibly understand.

I thought we had some good times.

[Door hisses shut]

[Panting nervously]

[Jimmy, over intercom]: I'm outside the station. -[Sighs nervously]

[Shudders] This spacesuit smells like corn chips.

[Squeaking]

Gary? I will kick your ass.

Gary, I have the time cube.

So, before we go, one last thing.

What?

Kill him!

You big, twisty jobbie. [Groans]

If you want me dead, you come and do it.

I want to see you kill him.

Gary... We don't have to do this. We can just leave.

Valentina...

If this guy's going to make you happy,

then go ahead.

I understand.

-Do it. -Just give me a second, Gary.

Hurry up. Kill him now. -Just...

-Kill him. -Just give me a second, Gary.

-Kill him! -Can you give me a second! Gary!

Kill him.

I don't like being bossed around.

[Parts wrench and detach]

[Rumbling]

Keep going, Jimmy.

We have to align and fire the thruster in 90 seconds,

or we will implode.

Okay, no problem.

[Roaring]

[Blow squeaks] Ow!

So, that's how it is.

[Groans]

H'yah!

[Blows squeak, Gary winces]

Oof!

Oh!

Yeah?

So, you want to dance, little man?

Ah, got you now.

Ah!

Ow, my tentacle!

Anton!

I'm almost there.

Tilda?

Tilda?

[Alerts beeping]

[Roaring]

[Beeping commands]

Come on...

How the hell does this work?

I am the master of time and space! I cannot be defeated!

[Frenzied roaring]

[Tilda]: Hey!

Huh?

[Weapon surging]

That's good.

-Is that my blaster? -Jimmy fixed it. -Thank you, tilda.

Where is Jimmy?

[***]

[Gasping]

Jimmy, you did it!

Orbit's stabilizing.

Jimmy?

Jimmy, where are you? Come in! [Air hissing]

Oh, crap.

[Tilda]: We're okay!

You did it!

* do a sold-out show and then I hit the road *

* in my starship limousine... -Whoa...

-Jimmy? * get so damn tired and uninspired *

* doing all these one-night stands *

* it's a giant leap for rock and roll *

* but it's too much for just one man... *

[***]

* I'm a spaceship superstar!

-Thanks, sweet-pea. -You're twice the man Gary ever was.

I know.

* ...I'm at the top of all the charts on Mars *

* got a solar-powered laser-beam guitar *

* I'm a spaceship superstar...

[Door hisses open]

Jimmy.

-Are we okay? -We're okay.

You did it.

[Sighs in relief]

[Electricity crackles, Jimmy groans and winces]

[Tone chimes] [Computer voice]: Two minutes until lunch.

Repeat, two minutes until lunch.

Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.

You know something?

I could get another one of these.

Chicken?

The ham.

The ham. Okay.

Ham.

Okay, I think we're ready.

Yeah?

[Beeps intercom]

Control room, are you ready?

[Anton, over intercom]: Ready when you are, Jimmy.

Okay, we're activating it.

[Power surges]

[Humming]

Wendi, status report.

Wendi, what's going on? Is it working?

[Wendi]: Time cube interface activated.

Maybe I should, uh--

[energy pulse surges]

[Anton, over intercom]: Jimmy! Jimmy, is everything okay?

Yeah, uh, we're okay here.

How are you? [Valentina]: We're fine up here.

[Voices crackle over radio]

[Transmissions crackling]

[Ground control]: Sanitation station Regina, come in.

This is ground control. We have a level two debris warning here.

Earth.

The time cube worked, because that's earth.

Sanitation station Regina, are you going to atomize the debris,

or do we have to call the spaceworkers' union rep?

Oh, yeah, yeah, the debris thing.

Get the debris.

[Beeping console]

[Valentina]: Wait a minute, isn't that Gary's shuttle?

Looks like class ten debris to me.

[Targeting beeps accelerate]

[***]

[***]

[***]

* turning back with their feet on fire *

* but it's not that hot around here *

* children running with ice in their shoes *

* while the child cries alone with the fear *

* cheap faces shining on the TV tonight *

* but there's not a lot of light around here *

* six of seven numbers i pray to appear *

* but my god just don't wanna hear *

* oh...

* and it still goes on

* oh...

* and the world still turns

* it's turning and turning and turning around *

[***]

* it's turning around...

* it's turning around...

* it's turning around

[***]

* five was my number at Caesar's and son *

* made all my money I'm done *

* same season blowing through this desert each day *

* what happens in the city should stay *

* weak politicians with light in your face *

* and leaders' ultimate disgrace *

* two start swinging someone's lost her head *

* I wanna be left for dead

* oh...

* and we know it's wrong

* oh...

* and it still goes on

* and the world still turns

* it's turning and turning and turning around *

[***]

* it's turning around...

* it's turning around...

* it's turning around

* it's turning around

* it's turning around...

[***]

[Gags and splutters]

[Holding back a retch]

[Coughs and gags]

[Retching]