Original subtitles

Don't forget your homework on Monday!

How's it moving, fat boy?

Oh, fuck. Man, what'd you do that for?

You made me drop my crisps.

I actually think I broke something.

Yeah, probably your hymen.

Big man. Hey.

What's up, Cam?

PJ?

Help me up, Cams.

Yo, Sinitta.

Yo, listen up. What do you say for Wednesday?

Why you acting like you only take one finger?

Am I lying, though?

Did he just...

Ahhh! Stop! Ow! My beautiful face!

I'm a model! No! Ladies, stop!

They're all mad.

Will you please keep the noise down!

Bring my wife into this.

I know you do...

Or will you just sit there and talk to her?

I wouldn't be looking at dirty pictures

- in the first place. - How dare you?

It's not funny.

I am very disappointed in you.

You waiting to see me, Sean?

No.

Then why are you here?

Dani.

Do try and master a rudimentary command of the English language.

Belligerent, monosyllabic answers don't impress me.

"Dani" is two syllables, sir.

I trust we won't have a repeat

of this afternoon's performance, Danielle!

Kids, eh?

Kids.

What happened?

Sarah sent pictures of my sister stripping

to everyone's phone for a laugh.

So? So, I punched her.

You can't... Look, don't say anything.

But your sister is a stripper. So?

I'm just saying you can't hit people over facts.

Where the fuck have you, man, been?

Waiting for Dani.

Goldman called me into his office.

What for? A little classroom GBH.

What?

You lot wanna say something?

Well, what did you expect? Your sister's peng.

They'd be taking pictures of you,

if man didn't look like Susan Boyle.

You want a slap as well?

Come on, Dani. You know PJ doesn't get girls.

And he definitely doesn't get girls.

Ben, who don't get girls?

Cam don't get girls!

I've got a girl.

The Internet doesn't count.

I think you went to the office

just to give the Deputy head.

Yeah, you're a little too good at that.

Hey, shut up, man. I'm doing her, innit?

Yeah, you wish.

Of all the fit girls in the world,

what would make you ever think that I would wanna wish for that?

Please, move from me

with your Frodo haircut. Mistake you for a man.

At least that makes one of us.

Yeah.

Wait, what?

No. No. Not against that old woman. No way.

This is most important weekend of our lives.

And we're not even talking about it.

Man's gonna Chrome. I'm gas.

It's only our first time

'cause we all said we'd wait till you were 16.

Yeah, minor, minor. Ain't you lot excited?

'Course we're excited.

Hey, give me my ticket.

I'll hold on to 'em.

Forgive me, but this is gonna be

the biggest party of all time.

And, yeah, I appreciate that you guys waited for my birthday.

Now that was five months ago. This comes around every six.

Now, God forbid, you get licked down by a truck or something

we just can't reach.

As sad as it'll be,

I'll be more devastated if I couldn't get into this party.

Anyone else?

I think that was her saying bye.

Staring at me like that. She's lucky I didn't jerk on her eyebrow.

Girl's kicking me, man.

How's my face?

The same.

That isn't a compliment.

Maybe you just shout at Dani, "Give me myticket."

Yeah, but what does he mean, "It's not a compliment"?

Yeah?

Customers, D.

And?

Nah, you ain't hearing me. I'm talking about "customers."

Hey, we'd like two VIP tickets to the party.

We've got money.

Sold out.

We know, but Shanice said

you can make exceptions.

IDs?

Eighteen.

Just.

Shut the door.

You heard the man. Move!

Ah...

So, did Shanice tell you what you had to do?

Yeah, she told us.

Whoa.

Creative.

Yo, I'm gone.

All right. I'll see you. Cool.

See you.

Look, if you need a girl, you can just ask.

No, really, I'm fine.

Fine?

Work this one out, genius.

Your dick or Myspace.

That's the answer. What's the question?

Two things that nobody's using anymore.

Dazzling insight.

For the last time, I've got a girl.

An imaginary one.

It's the 21st century, gents.

Over a billion people communicate interactively

in an alternate cyber universe every day.

Imaginary.

I need a time frame. Why has it been postponed?

More girl dramas.

- Why did they do theirs? - Who knows?

It's all right.

What are you grinning at?

You're sexy, you know. What're you saying?

I'm not saying anything. You're talking and you won't stop.

Now, what's your name? Shut up.

How old are you? Don't worry.

Have you got a man? Yes, and I love him.

Would you let me.

See beneath your beautiful?

Would you let me.

See beneath your perfect?

Take it off now, girl, take it off now, girl.

I wanna see you ride.

Would you let...

Hey, listen, bub, you go and make them laugh,

that's half the battle done.

Hey, Ben, that one's yours, yeah?

We're laughing at you, dickhead.

Uh...

Look here, love, real talk.

Them girls are a bit stoosh, innit, and like...

I'll be real with you. You're not

that good-looking and you're a bit big,

but I understand.

Fat chicks need dick, too.

So, listen, if you hold it now,

I be doing you the favor, you get me?

I give you the full service,

pussy licking and everything.

Oh, man.

What?

What did I do?

Was it something I said?

So, for those of you that haven't been

on the planet for the last month or might not know,

Chrome is happening tonight.

Now this is gonna be the party of the year.

Yeah, but it's been sold out for ages.

Shit!

Yas!

Yasmin!

You look shit.

You look big.

Let's go.

PJ getting lucky tonight.

You are joking too, right?

Cam!

Cam!

Cam!

Sean, your brother's here!

Well, cool, bro. Mum, I'm out.

Hey, you.

What're you doing? Oh, for fuck's sake!

Could you dress more skimpy?

Love you, too. What's up?

Look, where's my favorite top?

I put it out this morning. I need it for Chrome.

Don't you have a dress code? Yas?

It's in the wash. Yasmin!

Oh, sorry, I didn't realize you wanted it for Chrome.

It was filthy, babe.

Here, take this.

You'll look cute in that.

Ugh!

Will you put some clothes on?

Don't be silly, it's only a body.

It's freeing, you should try it.

Right.

Responsible adult type.

We're gonna be late for work!

Yas! In here!

Be careful at Chrome.

It's full of nasty... You going to Chrome?

Loads of dodgy people there.

Yeah, I'm telling her that.

Dad's on nights.

So, call me if you need anything, and I'll come and get you.

If you do, try to put more than a belt on, yeah?

It's a naked body.

It's natural.

You're beginning to sound like those idiots

who think smoking anywhere's fine,

but breastfeeding in public's disgusting.

That's different. You wouldn't walk down

the high street naked.

Wouldn't I?

Sis? Yas?

Yasmin!

I'll just wait here then, shall I?

Why did we even go this way?

I told you it's a shortcut.

To get mugged-

You reckon you're gonna get numbers?

Yeah, I've got something off the Internet. It never fails.

Oh, check him for a hypno.

I'm getting numbers.

I brought two phones tonight. I know business.

What for? This one,

for them girls that I like that are seven and above.

And then this one is for them girls

that are, like, five, minimum four.

But, you know, sometimes it's slumming-fuck a grateful girl like Dani.

We'd all be grateful if you shut up.

Listen, don't hate me 'cause you didn't make an effort.

I made an effort. You did?

Earrings.

This is long. Should've got a cab.

Look, walking ain't gonna do you any harm.

What, you saying I'm fat? No.

I'm saying you're lazy.

I'm saying you're fat.

We're not saying it to hurt you.

It's constructive criticism, innit? Like...

See, you smell a bit, too.

I think it's the sweat underneath your tits in there.

Don't get vexed at me. I'm saying it 'cause I love you.

Just, wear a bra or something.

Ben? My big man, calm down.

Think about your blood pressure!

We've got four exclusive VIP tickets

for one of you lucky listeners.

All you have to do is give us a call

and tell us why you should be there.

Yeah, the best answer

gets the ticket. It's as simple as that.

You could be killing it at Chrome along with us.

It's VIP. Jet!

Right. How're you doing this evening?

Yeah, ready for a good night.

ID.

Ash.

Hey, yo! Yo, is there a problem, here?

There's no problem, cuz, it's cool. Just wait here.

Yo, chill, man. Chill.

Sean Mason?

Yeah. Who're you?

Damien Chase. You don't recognize me?

I used to go to school with your brother.

Oh, shit! We're gonna get hooked up!

My man runs this thing, bro.

These your friends? Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

You must've been looking forward to tonight for awhile.

Man, your parties, they are legendary, man.

Well, I'm sure

it'll be a night you'll never forget.

Oh, hey.

Will you do me a favor, please? Yeah, man.

Could you give your brother a message for me?

No one connected with Alex Mason,

especially family,

is allowed near my parties.

You got that?

Mmm.

Now, go home, boy.

You know what to do.

Yeah. Hey,

it's all part of the service.

You better fucking watch yourself, cuz.

Are you serious right now?

You trying to threaten me when you get kicked to the curb?

Get off me before I bite your dick off!

You couldn't get your mouth around it.

Besides, I ain't gay, mate.

I'm a girl.

'Course you are, son.

Ugh.

Look I like my...

Fuck off, you little pussy! Oh!

Please. It's mistaken identity. I'm telling you.

Look, let me back in the club,

and we'll act like none of this ever happened, yeah?

You know what? Fuck you pricks!

And this ain't over. I know people, you know.

Run!

It's a bit cold, innit?

You know where it's not cold?

At the party.

Yeah, well, I'm just saying.

Yeah, well, don't say, innit? We get it.

We'd be in that party if it wasn't for your stupid brother.

What'd you say? PJ, just don't.

Nah, this guy's acting all moody and shit

when we're the ones that should be pissed prop!

It's his fault we didn't get in.

It's my fault now?

Listen, I'm the one who got slapped, not you, and I don't even know why!

Ask your dickhead brother.

All right, say something else about my brother.

Oh, come on, this is stupid.

What are we fighting each other for? We're friends.

Your brother is a fucking waste, man.

What?

Oh, come at me. Challenge me, challenge me.

Challenge me. What? What?

All right, move out of my face, man. Ain't afraid to hit you.

You're like a man anyway.

Try it.

Sorry, innit?

I'm not even angry at you, man.

I just wanna know what the fuck's going on.

I did hear about another party.

You couldn't have mentioned this earlier? It's freezing out here.

Who's stupid enough to hold a party

the same night as Chrome?

It's a party!

To you!

Yay!

Happy birthday, Reggie!

Sixteen!

Thanks for coming.

I'm surprised my shit of a nephew

has any friends to invite.

Yeah, we're not really friends.

We just go to the same school.

I can't stand the little cunt either.

Um, is there a bathroom? I'm...

I'm not sure about these sausage rolls.

I'll show you.

Mummy.

Coming, dear.

Happy birthday.

Oh.

No.

How is Dani the fierce girl here?

Yo, why are you always on her case, man?

Why are you always on her case, huh?

She ain't hot enough for you to be on it.

Look, I'm not.

I'm just saying, innit?

But still, man, you're wrong.

She's got something.

A mustache.

Look, she's fitter than her sister,

and the day you realize that,

I'm gonna be like, "Told you!"

The day you try to fuck her and you realize she's got a dick,

I'm gonna be like, "Man-Dan!"

Hey, what's taking Ben so long?

Are you okay?

Mmm-hmm.

Uh, what? Oh, I know what you can do with that.

I'm gonna come! I'm gonna come! Keep going, you...

What are you doing, man?

Can I have a go?

This the strong stuff, Grandma.

Oh, good. Thank you.

Hey.

Go, fam. Time to go.

Hey. Leave it, man.

So, what now?

I'm hungry. I've eaten.

Should we go somewhere else?

I can't even be bothered.

But yous lot should try sneak back into Chrome.

I mean, he won't remember you.

It's just me he's got beef with.

As if we'd abandon you for that odious ingrate.

Well...

But we've waited years for this thing.

I don't want to be responsible for yous lot missing out.

You don't wanna wait another six months.

Then fuck Chrome.

How does someone like your brother know Damien Chase anyhow?

That's a good question.

Uh, if you're after a positive response,

I suggest you not phone this late.

Yeah, fuck that. He's the only one who'll know.

It's a precarious situation.

Just approach it with trepidation.

Hey, we need to talk now! You must bell me back.

Yeah, that's pretty much how I would have done it.

So, what're we doing now?

Well, I don't know about you guys,

but I've probably had about as much excitement as I can for one night.

And if I'm not ears deep in pussy by, say, like, 12:00,

I might turn into Cam, you get me? So...

Hello?

Yeah.

Who's this?

Yeah, it's me.

Yeah, I'm coming around, so just get that body warm for me.

What are you talking about?

I'll be there in 10.

Stop fucking calling me, you fucking prig.

You're a little kid.

You're so annoying! Delete my number, man.

Yeah, yeah.

She wants me.

We're gonna go, too.

See you tomorrow?

Can't believe I got dressed up for this.

On your left, behind the barrel.

Where?

Thought you were supposed to be good at this game.

I am.

Shit! Revive me.

I'm injured, last man standing, with HQ in sight.

Yeah, I'm just gonna come back and revive you.

Oh!

I thought you were supposed to be good at this.

Funny.

Man, this dickhead still ain't called me back.

Why do you act like you don't like him?

What? Your brother.

Look, you talk shit about him all the time,

but he's got a really good job,

and he's actually doing something positive with his life.

Yeah, I suppose. But he's just different now.

Well, how do you mean?

You remember, when we were young,

he was like this cool big brother.

I looked up to him.

Yeah, but that's just how we see things when we're little.

No, it's like he's had this complete personality reboot.

I mean, he used to be the man.

And now, he's just Alex the accountant.

It's called growing up.

Yeah, well, remind me to avoid that shit.

You know, I don't think you'll need to worry.

Oh, sorry.

I didn't realize you had company.

Jesus! Yasmin, put some fucking clothes on!

Oh, my God. Repress much?

I'm sure he's seen a naked woman before,

and it's too late now, so there's no point covering up, is there?

Where's my black nail polish?

Look, how should I know?

Uh, is that it?

What a surprise.

Why are you here? I thought you guys were going to Chrome.

Get out! Well, we got kicked out.

Sean! What? No! Really?

Why are you so shocked?

You said there were some dodgy people in there.

There are, but they're the greatest parties.

Yasmin! I'm going, I'm going.

Oh, if you didn't wear that dress, can I have it back?

Can you get out now, please?

Thanks.

Be good.

Or not. I don't care.

So...

Um...

I'm gonna go.

Sean?

You're home early. How was your night?

Look, Mum, I'm tired. I'll speak to...

Teacher, won't you teach me now.

Everything me want to know? Me want you right now

Sean. Sean.

Look, you know what?

This isn't even the worse thing that's happened today.

Line up the kuku Give me a kuku.

Me want your kuku Gonna eat your kuku.

Right now.

FEMALE RADIO HOST If you're just joining us, guys,

we're talking about Chrome.

We were there last night.

And it got messy.

Yeah, it was amazing,

and thanks to Damien Chase for hooking us up.

If you missed it, you missed out.

It's six months to the next one.

I'm getting my ticket right now.

My man better have some answers for him.

I could have been checking Sasha today.

Shut up. Shut up.

Are you lost?

No.

I think you're looking for the sports center.

It's next door.

Well, aren't you helpful?

Excuse me?

Well, you may assume that we're in the wrong place,

but I know that you are,

because anyone who doesn't start with,

"Hello, how may I help you?"

shouldn't be behind that desk.

What do you all want?

I'm here to see my brother.

There are over 3,000 people working in this building.

Does your brother happen to have a name?

Alex Mason, Edward and Keen Accounting, fifth floor, extension 448.

Hello? Mr. Mason's brother's hereto see him.

Alex is in a meeting, but send him up.

He's in a meeting right now, but you can make your way up.

Fifth floor! I know.

Now, that wasn't hard, was it?

I'm just gonna take some mints.

Taking some...

Ground floor.

How rude.

Alex!

Alex!

Who are these people?

Potential clients.

A new rap group, Tinie Tempah's cousins.

Oh, good.

What are they called?

Tinie Problem.

Oh. Excuse me.

I'll be right back.

What the hell are you doing here?

Good to see you as well.

You, now!

Please allow me to propose...

Come here.

What the hell do you think you're playing at?

This is my work.

Look, I wanna know why I got kicked out

of the biggest party of the year,

just because I'm your brother.

What are you talking about, Sean? I haven't got time for this.

Chrome!

You went to Chrome? Didn't get in.

They kicked me out as soon as they found out I was your brother.

And they slapped him on the face.

Obviously, man, I tried to back him, innit?

Who slapped you?

That Damien Chase guy.

All right.

I'm sorry, I'll...

I'll reimburse you for the price of the tickets.

Just stay away from him.

Look, I don't want your money.

I came here for answers!

Look, I'll take your money.

- Dani, I've got your money. - Shut up!

I wanna know why I couldn't get in.

Calm down. Just sit down.

And don't come like you're some big authority figure and I...

Sit down!

Anyone ever hear of Genesis?

Like the Bible? All that "in the beginning" shit?

Sorry.

Genesis was the biggest party anyone had ever seen.

What, bigger than Chrome?

Bigger. Better.

Genesis was the start.

It was pure.

All about the love of the party. It was mine.

Well, mine and Damien's.

Chrome is just advertising, backhanders, VIPs and drugs.

It's got no heart, man. It's got no soul.

So, what happened to this Genesis, then?

We weren't making enough money,

so Damien brought drugs into the equation.

I told him to stop, but he didn't.

Instead he set me up,

called in the drug squad and they shut it down.

Since it was my name on all the licenses,

I was responsible.

I got served with a six-month sentence.

Leaving him free to set up his own party.

Chrome.

And you didn't wanna get revenge?

For what?

To put you and Mum in danger?

Look at everything I've worked for, Sean.

My revenge is that no one can ever take this away from me.

This?

You call this revenge?

Hey, let's go.

Stay away from him, Sean.

Hey, your brother's soft, man.

If that was me, I would never let that happen.

That's a whole disrespect to your family.

I just don't understand him.

Well, after that story, we're never gonna get into Chrome.

We'll just have to forget it.

Cam's right.

The only reason they happen every six months

is 'cause it takes six months to recover.

So, what? We do nothing, like Alex?

We're gonna do something.

I just don't know what yet.

How about we roll up to the man's yard with bats and shit, yeah?

Burst through the door, mash up the place and head-butt his grandma.

You need to stay off the Vimto.

Why don't we throw our own party?

Why are you so stupid, bruv?

Yeah, we should.

It'll never work and besides, how are we gonna pay for it?

People like us, they'll come.

Sean?

I think PJ's right on this one.

Just forget about it.

What...

Yeah, baby.

Yeah, you know you like that.

Yeah. It's PJ!

Whoo!

Oh, man!

Not only are we gonna have our own party,

but we're gonna have it the same night as the next Chrome.

Mine, now.

I thought we were done with all this.

Educate him.

Damien Chase runs Chrome,

the biggest single teen party in London

for the last decade.

Thousands of people every six months.

Anybody who's anybody turns up there.

Our job is to put on a party

that's bigger, badder and better

than anything Damien Chase has ever done.

We need to take his customers,

take his money and take him out.

Yeah. How?

I don't know.

What?

Well, that's what the meeting's for.

All right.

Ideas.

Women, fam.

For the party?

Anyone else?

Naked women on unicycles.

Anyone other than PJ?

Well, we need a DJ?

Good. And a live band.

Yes. The Wanted!

No. I like The Wanted.

We could have different rooms playing different music.

Ah, they could be themed.

Like a house party room? Exactly.

A sex tape room!

Girls come wanting to be famous

by releasing their sex tapes online,

you even have a live feed.

Calm down.

Uh, we could do a pool partytheme. Good.

Alcohol. Food.

Lights. Food.

Oh! Ah!

If it's women,

naked women or a derivative of,

don't bother.

Security. Wait, we don't have a name.

Bootie house, bang hole.

No. How about...

Juggies! No.

Pom Pom Palace. How...

Let the man speak.

How about

Ben, Dani, PJ, Cam and Sean's party?

Dear God.

Pizza sluts.

If you don't come in 30 minutes, you get a blowjob free.

Shut up.

Panty house, gold mines, love fantasies,

ribbed tensions, kill them pussies.

The Party.

Legacy-

Uh, we're missing one piece of important information.

The venue.

I've already thought of that.

Don't worry.

- I'm worried. - Who's gonna party here?

I know it doesn't look like much,

but it's near a Tube station,

which means it's easy to get to.

And most importantly, it's cheap.

They're charging us?

Come on, man, use your imagination.

I mean, we clean this place up a bit...

And we can use all the stuff here.

Good to know.

It's not exactly The O2 Indigo, is it?

Have you got a better idea?

Didn't think so.

So, unless you wanna stand around

and bitch about it all day,

I suggest you get on board.

All right! Calm down!

How much is it? Six grand.

What?

How are we gonna afford that?

It's not actually that bad.

I'm sorry! Mouse.

Six thousand pounds for this shithole?

A car! Six grand, bruv.

You know how much shopping I could do with that?

Six grand!

Have you got six grand?

He's right. You haven't even got one pound!

Six grand! Where's it gonna come from? Huh?

You got six grand in your pocket, bruv? Shh.

Sean, how can I help?

I would like to apply for a loan.

A loan?

Well, you see, me and my friends, we're planning this party,

and I need to make a down payment. Right.

The thing is, Mr. Mason, before you continue,

the first thing is, you need to be

at least 18 to apply for a loan,

so there's nothing I can do to help you.

Yeah, but... And even if you were 18,

I don't think a party is appropriate

as a use of funds.

Right.

This is a bank, Sean,

not a fucking playground.

Do you think, as a bank manager, I'd say,

"Yes, that's a brilliant idea, Sean."

"Thanks so much for coming in."

"Why don't we start a business together?"

Absolute bullshit.

Right.

Before you leave, do you like my wife?

Do you know where we met?

Ironically, it was at a party.

Hey, one of yous lot's got to try tomorrow.

The suit's too tight.

Stop moaning.

So, don't forget, you want a loan to refurbish your boathouse.

It's your dream. You think about it every day.

Are you sure it's gonna work?

Yeah, man. Look, just be confident

and talk about how you like to go there

in the summers, it distracts them.

You'll be fine.

You can do this.

Equals.

MC squared.

How can I help?

I want a bigger loan on my boathouse

so I can spend all day refurbishing myself!

Sexy.

In the summer!

Well?

Well, I did exactly what you told me to do,

but he still didn't buy it.

I'm doing it.

My friend,

I require money, two camels,

and your ugly wife.

Piss off!

Muhammad.

Are you sure there isn't another way?

If we want this to happen,

then you all know what we've gotta do.

Fuck that!

Well, that's that, then.

Table 10. Table 10, service!

Yes, Chef!

What do you think?

Ice cream makes you fat.

They're our new work clothes. Simon designed them.

Based on what? Dental floss?

Well, we've got more upstairs.

You could throw one on and come to work with us.

I'm 17.

Joke.

What's crawled up your arse?

Look, this is serious, Yas.

I need to find away of making this money. And I can't find a job.

We could lend it to you.

No, I need to do it myself.

Guys would pay a fortune to see you dance.

Now, don't take this the wrong way,

but I really can't respect the opinion of someone

who willingly calls themselves "Diamond."

It's Western night at the club. Too much?

Yeah. A little bit.

You're right.

A smaller bra.

Was that an insult?

Mrs. Hammond? We've finished.

Okay! See you next week!

Your money's on the table!

Mrs. Hammond!

Ben! Yours is up here,

on the box that you said you'd move.

Oh, yeah, shit. Yeah, I forgot. I'll catch up.

Mrs. Hammond?

Mrs. Hammond?

I got another box for you to deal with.

Yeah, you all right? Cool.

Are you crying?

No.

Hey.

I can't wait to get you home.

Get out.

So, what did you have to do?

I cleared out my savings.

Look, go big or go home, right?

That's really something.

What are you doing?

All right. Listen up, guys.

Cam, get us some more power.

Dani, secure us some cleaning products.

I'll take care of the trash, while PJ dumps the boxes.

And Ben...

Smash.

Pop. Pop.

Oi!

No!

Oi!

What are you doing? Inviting my girlfriend.

Who? Cyberchick? Yeah.

Fam, she ain't real and if she is real, she is a man.

That doesn't even make sense.

You don't make sense.

Yeah, what's this all about?

Oh, it's that new Legacy thing.

This party's gonna kill Chrome.

Legacy?

Yeah, it's a party.

Idiot.

Yo. Yo.

What's going on?

All right, listen.

It's nothing to worry about.

Just, something odd's happened.

You know, we left it for a couple of days

and it's carried on and, well...

Well, what?

Ticket sales. They're down.

How down?

Mmm, rough estimate, 20-25%.

Tell me exactly.

80%.

I mean,

is this some sort of joke to you, Ash?

'Cause I've got no sense of humor when it comes to money.

Look, it's not my fault

all the kids are talking about some party called Legacy.

They're selling out.

Who's running it?

Look, I don't think they're a threat.

You don't think at all.

But find them and shut them down.

This is new.

I'm gonna need to see some ID.

Well, I... It's all right, officer.

This is my son.

And he's buying all this for me,

medicinal purposes.

Officer? He's not the police, Dad.

Is he really your dad?

Would you admit to it, if he wasn't?

Yeah, I see your point.

Shut up!

It's PJ.

What you saying, fam? Were you followed?

By Who?

Were you followed?

No, man, just let me in.

I've got money.

Money for what?

I don't take money for nothing!

I'm a legitimate P-A-Y-E employee!

Hush your mouth.

You want everyone knowing my business?

All right, Roger?

You cool? Yeah, sweet.

Say hello to my fish.

Say hello.

Huh?

That's Davey, Jimmy, Billy, Sanchez,

and that's Keith.

Hi, gulls-

Billy's agirl.

Sorry.

I've written a novel, you know.

Killers, Knives, Sluts and Angels.

It's a love story.

Read it. Oh.

That's enough small talk. What do you need?

Enough for about 1,000 people.

When for?

This Saturday.

We can do business.

Mum! Mum!

I'm working Saturday, so I won't be able to go bingo!

But I'll definitely reach church, Sunday, yo.

- All right. - You seen my vibrator?

We didn't give you that much money for food.

How did you afford all this?

It's probably his packed lunch.

I have my ways.

Got a contact who was so happy with the work I done,

so she just wanted to help.

- How much longer? - I'm nearly there.

Where did you get them from again?

I told you, I built a Web page for a lighting company

and they owed me a favor.

- Some favor. - Will you...

Two secs.

There.

It's all right, you know.

I think it looks shit, to be honest.

Uh, we've got a problem.

We can't sell alcohol.

No one's gonna check

if we're old enough for our own party, man.

Are you gonna believe this guy?

No, we need a license.

Why didn't you say something earlier?

I only just thought of it.

You're a dickhead, bruv!

You've been staring at that flip chart for six months,

it said alcohol all over it,

and you're just thinking about this now!

Well, you didn't think of it. You're meant to be the brains!

I'm not the only one with a brain.

Look, shut up!

How do we get one?

Uh...

It says here you have to be over 18, pay a fee,

and have a licensing qualification.

We're fucked!

No, wait. What about your brother?

He used to throw parties. He probably has the qualification.

I don't know.

You heard him, he's not on it.

No, he'll change his mind when he sees

how much work you've put into it.

No!

Not a chance.

I told you to stay away from Damien,

and now you want me to help put you in competition with him?

Look, I'm asking for your help.

Go home. Come on,

I thought you'd wanna help me get one up on Damien.

You thought wrong.

I don't even know who you are anymore.

Well, that's over.

So, now what?

Well, I could ask my sister.

She won't be able to get a licensing qualification in 24 hours.

We need someone who's already got one, or we're done.

Man, can't have a party with no drink.

We should just do it anyway, man. Who's gonna know?

Just one complaint and they'll send the police.

They'll shut us down and then throw us in jail.

Yeah, but there's enough illegal parties!

At least we look organized.

They're not gonna shut us down.

So! So, this is Legacy.

Wow.

Balloons.

Seriously, guys, you've gone all out.

I really love what you've done with the place.

Hey, fuck off and shut your mouth!

Except the other way around.

Well, you know what they say.

If you roll a piece of shit in glitter,

it's still shit.

What are you doing here?

Thought I'd come and check out the competition.

Well, judging from your ticket sales, you ain't much competition.

Touché.

To be honest, I'm quite impressed.

I wish you budding entrepreneurs every success.

And don't worry, I'll show myself out.

Ash!

Oh!

There was one other thing.

About those licenses,

I wouldn't worry too much about getting shut down.

Legacy just got canceled.

Back!

You're just like your brother Alex.

He was a pussy as well.

Keep the change.

Let me see.

Alcohol's gone.

There's still some food, though.

No one cares about your fucking food.

These weren't even ours.

How are we gonna pay for all of this?

We made money.

Money we have to give back!

So, wait. We're worse off now than when we started?

Maybe we can salvage some of this.

Are you dumb? This place is trashed!

Don't call me dumb! I'm just trying to stay positive!

Fine. Fine.

We'll change the advertising. "Come to Legacy,"

"where you'll get no girl except Man-Dan."

"All you'll get is fucking sausage rolls and glass in your foot!"

Peter, just shut up, man.

Bruv, not even my dad calls me Peter.

What the hell is this helping? You're not helping.

I'm trying to help the situation! You trying to fucking have...

- Fuck you! Fuck you! - Fucking have a go at him,

just because of a fucking light! He fucking...

It's done! It's done!

Bullshit!

Sean, where are you going?

Sean!

Hey, yo, did you get that email?

That Legacy thing's canceled.

Yeah, I know, man.

I'm getting my refund off PayPal.

I know. They wouldn't have beat Chrome anyway.

Cam, take the Web site down.

I heard Legacy got shut down.

I'm sure this is a night you'll never forget.

Could you give your brother a message for me?

It's done!

Whatever it is, I ain't in the mood.

You need to quit this party shit, before...

What the hell happened to your face?

Sean?

It was Damien!

What, you went to see him? After I told you not to!

No, he came to the warehouse last night.

What? And you don't need

to worry about the party, 'cause he trashed the place!

It's over, so you and him got what you wanted.

Are you happy now?

Get out!

Bro... Just go!

Still no answer.

Guys! What?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he should be here.

We need to be 100% sure that he means it.

He's so hardheaded.

He ain't the only one.

Oh, grow up! Listen.

I still don't think we should do this.

We have to cancel it.

Half the people have got refunds and we're gonna owe money.

It just feels wrong to do it without Sean.

Take it down, Cam.

Something's wrong.

What you doing? I thought you was gonna cancel it.

It started counting down!

Well, it wasn't doing that before you touched it?

Hmm.

Glad to see your little party is still on.

Ah, shit!

I thought you wanted a party.

Yeah, but not a dead one in some empty warehouse.

You need to stop it. I think we've been hacked.

Oh, come on, do something.

I've been locked out.

I stopped it.

It's the Internet, you cretin.

All you've done is turn the computer off.

So, people are still gonna turn up? Yeah.

We're never gonna be able to live this down.

What's going on?

So?

What? What?

What? What? What? What?

What's the message about?

Message? I thought yous lot sent that.

Oh, I need to get fatter friends.

Yeah, yeah, I'll be there at 7:00, okay.

Oh, glad you could make it.

What's going on?

Legacy. I don't know if you've heard of it.

My brother and his mates are putting it on.

What's going on?

Legacy's back on.

Really? In fact,

Computer Cam, I need to talk to you

about how we're gonna pay for all this.

Oh, bro.

No, no, seriously, you get off me.

Okay. Yeah, bro, that's enough now. Yeah, okay.

Right, we're nearly there.

Problem, a lot of people who came off

the mailing list think we're not on anymore,

so you guys need to get the word out.

All ticket holders are now VIP.

Others will be let in free, meaning that

even if they have a Chrome ticket, they won't pay twice.

We'll make money off drinks and other activities.

For over 18s only.

Now, look, Damien is monitoring online,

so whatever you do,

make sure it's something special.

What, though?

I don't know.

It's your party. I'm just a flipping accountant.

Also, the pole dancer canceled.

Anyone know where we can get some more?

What?

I can't believe we left the plan up to him.

Look, it's gonna be good. Okay?

If it was good, he would have told us by now.

Hey, have some faith.

Yeah? In PJ?

Yes. What?

What the fuck is in that? Petrol.

What the fuck? No.

What? No, no, no, no, no.

It's not like that. Trust me, trust me, trust me.

Now, anyone got a lighter?

Yes, this is Susan Haymore from Girls for You.

Can I please talk to Damien Chase?

Oh, thank you ever so much.

Putting me through.

Look out your window, bitch.

Fucking stay there.

Ash!

Get Dog.

Do you think he's mad?

Yeah. Yeah, shall we go?

Yeah.

We're on our way now.

I like your dress, Mummy.

He's sweet, really.

Fucking yes, mate. Legacy!

I still fucking hate him.

Yeah!

What the heck? What's going on?

Legacy isn't just a party.

It's a lifestyle. It's how we should live our lives for...

Let's get fucking wild, turn up!

Thought I'd start off low-key.

Shall we?

Yeah!

They love us!

See. You need to get yourself some of that.

I told you, my girl's coming.

You're really gonna miss out on all of this

just 'cause you think Cyberchick's real?

She's coming.

All right.

Oh, hello.

Bang.

Bu bu bang bang bang.

Bu bu bang bang bang.

One shot, two shot, three shots, four.

Four, four Four, five.

Take off your door.

I'm down holding a trap.

Two freaks at my back.

Wide G with a strap.

Just in case the freak let them back.

Rough me, are you mad?

Rough me, are you mad?

I swear, down on my fife, dog I'M take out your back.

I'm straight out of the slums.

Roll around in my wants.

Niggas want to roll me.

So, I roll around with my gun Shot!

Rough me, are you dumb?

Rough me, are you dumb?

I swear, down on my fife, dog I'M take out your moms.

Big Fekky.

Hello, mate.

You're not coming in.

Hey, touch me, brother.

You touch a brother. What, are you a pedophile? A nonce?

Whoa. No, no. Touch you, the bro...

Just keeping it real out here.

No, no, no. Lightweight, lightweight.

You've turned up on a club on your own! You fool.

Yeah. Um...

I'm on the list.

What? The sex offender list?

Listen, whoa, let's back it up.

Start again, yeah. Uh...

I'm on the guest list.

Okay, what's your name?

Well, the people, they call me G Twizzy.

What's your real name?

What is your real name? Uh...

Look at me! Look at me!

What is your name?

Roland Burke.

Louder, for everyone, what's your name?

Roland Burke.

Roland Burke.

Oh, yes, you are. Yeah...

I'll be honest with you, I'm probably not on the list, but D...

D told me to come down.

He said the party's off the chain.

Who's D?

D. D, um...

"D, D, D, D, D, D, D." What, you got a stutter?

D, you know D. Um...

Yeah, just, she got...

Remember she slept with Charlie and he got the beard lice,

and everyone calls him Crab Man, so...

Oh, D. Double D. Yeah.

I know Double D. Boom.

But I don't know you, Roland Burke.

So, fuck off!

Go on, git! You little mess.

See you around, Rog.

I know people as well.

Big, big, big, big people Bigger than...

Same size as you, so...

Jesus don't like liars, fam.

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!

What the fuck's going on?

Yo! Here! That's fucking sick!

Where the fuck are you going?

Legacy, man, that place is popping off!

Yeah? Fuck off!

What?

Ash, get the car.

Fucking wanker.

Fuck off!

Not you.

I'm going deeper and deeper and deeper.

I'm going deeper and deeper and deeper.

We're about to drown in my love.

Drown in my love.

Drown in my love.

How'd you guys do all this?

I'll let you in on a little secret.

Take care of the food and the rest takes care of itself.

I'm serious about that.

Really take care of the food.

I would. I definitely would.

I like you. Do you wanna meet up later?

So, what's your number?

'Bout a low five.

Are you ready to go crazy in this club?

Are you ready to dive deep into my love?

Are you ready, 'cause I'm ready And I'm steady.

Go, go, go.

Go, go, go.

Give it to you good, baby.

Give it to you right.

We're about to drown in my love.

We're about to drown, babe.

Give it to you good, baby.

Give it to you right.

We're about to drown in my love Drown in my love.

Get ready!

I'm going deeper and deeper and deeper.

I'm going deeper and deeper and deeper.

We're about to drown in my love.

Drown in my love.

Drown in my love.

Drown in my love.

I'm going deeper and deeper and deeper.

I'm going deeper and deeper and deeper.

We're about to drown in my love.

Drown in my love.

Seriously? Ladies' toilet.

Oh.

I am so proud of you, sis.

You've really pulled this off.

Hey, what's wrong?

Nothing.

Danielle?

It's all guys want, isn't it?

Girls that look like you.

Thanks.

I didn't mean it like that.

I know.

So, what's going on with you and Sean?

Oh, it's hardly a secret, is it?

You're wrong. Sean doesn't like me.

Guys just want girls that wear nothing and act like slags.

You know, for someone who doesn't want to be judged on how they look,

that sounds pretty judgmental to me.

People may think because me and my friends work naked,

we're slags.

But you know we're not.

I spend a lot of time naked at home,

but that's just me being me.

That's when I feel myself.

Just because girls dress in a more revealing way than you

doesn't make them slags.

And the ones that are slags,

you can put 'em in a boiler suit

and they'll still try and steal your man.

That's more like it.

Now, what are we going to do with you?

It's fine, Yas. He doesn't...

Oh, I've seen the way he looks at you.

Well, then why hasn't he done anything?

Well, why haven't you done anything?

We almost kissed once, but then you walked in and fucked it up.

Yeah, I'll take that.

And now he's only interested in everyone but me.

He likes you.

But there's middle ground.

You know how to sex it up a bit.

I don't dress like those girls.

Oh, you don't have to.

But you are my sister,

which means we look good.

So, stop hiding that.

You are allowed to be a girlie girl at least once a year.

And we both know you've thought about it.

It doesn't hurt to advertise a bit.

They're not gonna take me seriously.

Oh.

They will.

Fair girls are on me, you know.

Don't get it twisted, bruv.

Ooh.

Hey, 11-up, come here.

No, you don't. You don't get girls. I do get 'em. I get girls.

Guys. This is Emily.

Cyberchick.

It's nice to meet you.

See, we thought you was a man.

Not when we saw you, obviously.

Before, though, there was this whole big thing going on and stuff, but...

Just forget it.

Ben.

Ben.

We got a problem.

Yo, yo, yo' what's up?

Damien's outside.

Do what I say. Go outside, I'll be right behind you, bro.

Evening, gentlemen.

We're full. Jog on.

I'm hearing there's enough tickets going on at that place, um...

What's it called? Oh, man.

Uh...

Um...

Chrome? Yeah, you might be able to get in there.

Yeah, yeah, you've done a good job, boys.

But it's time for the men to take over now.

Step aside.

Yeah, I don't think that's going to happen.

You don't have a license, son.

With one phone call, I can get this place shut down.

Now, why would you wanna do something like that, hmm?

Especially when you're the one who's paying for all of this.

Thanks to Cam's hacking skills.

What the...

How did you do this?

Damien.

Long time.

You're fucking dead.

This ain't over, yeah.

Are you serious?

You're threatening me,

when you're the one who's been kicked to the curb?

I'm coming back.

For all of you.

God bless.

Your brother's a don, fam.

Yeah, I know.

Cam, good work.

Taken by surprise.

The bass has got you hypnotized.

I've got you in my hands.

You will follow my command.

Tension building high.

Now it's time to kill the lights.

Fantasies come true.

All it needs is me and you

'Cause when we're on the floor.

With the bass down low.

I'm getting nasty up.

You don't disturb my flow.

I'll make your boys dance off.

You'll be my Romeo.

I'll make you mine tonight.

No going home alone.

I'm bad at being good.

And I'm good at being bad.

I'm bad at being good.

Girls, girls, girls, girls, girls, listen, yeah.

I'm the one that put this whole thing on.

Yeah? So, I'm the reason you lot are even here.

So, the least you can do for me

is warm up your chops and juggle these nuts.

- Ugh. He's so disgusting. - What a jerk.

Idiot. Who does he think he is? Fucking prick.

He's just a dickhead.

No.

No.

Oh, come on, then.

Dani. You look...

Now you notice.

Amazing.

All right, cool down. It's still me.

But still, damn!

So, do you wanna...

Yeah.

Well, I was gonna say dance, but, yeah. Oh.

Yeah.

But your thing's cool, too.

Advertising.

Yeah! Yeah, that's my boy!

Ooh, who is that? She's fit!

See, if that was my...

I'm gonna hit it like that.

Fam, I might even chat her up afterwards.

Hey, like that.

Mmm.

Mmm, mmm.

And... Hey.

Ah...

What have I done?

It's official.

Legacy is the future. Sorry, Damien.

Kelsey says, "Still naked and loving it. ".

I'm guessing she's talking about her time at Legacy.

Oh.

Guys, uh, anyone know if there's a cash machine around here?

Ugh. Oh!

Oh, God.

I don't want to know.

Ugh.

We really need to start locking that door.

You didn't think I'd forgotten about you, did you?

I told you we were coming back.

Oh.

And you've been kind enough to collect my money for me.

That makes it easier.

Damien, it's over. Chrome's done.

Real talk.

You and your brother must have thought you were pretty clever, eh?

Let's see how clever you feel when I start hurting people.

Damien.

It's me you want.

Here I am.

Go home, bro.

They're not fucking going anywhere!

Roger!

We stayed around for the food, fam.

What can I tell ya,

I'm a sucker for cold pizza and coleslaw.

This bunch of clowns bringing trouble at your door?

Out.

Okay, um, yeah.

I see you got a lot of catching up to do,

so I'm gonna just go.

I'm gonna just go.

Alex. Mate.

There's no need for this.

I mean, how long have we known each other?

Whoa. Hold on, hold on!

Just think. Huh?

Think what I can do for you.

About three to six months.

Alex.

Shh.

Now, pretty boy. Don't cry.

This is gonna hurt.

You gotta repent your sins, brother.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

What now?

Come back to mine? What for?

Plan the next party!

Do you know you guys can make a killing in Europe?

I like that. But I think I'm gonna...

I think we're gonna meet you guys later.

Ooh.

Dani.

You ain't that mannish.

Sean,

your girl's good, fam.

Did you hear that?

He called you my girl.

Yeah, we'll see.

Oh, shit, wait. Hey, PJ!

I told you.

Let's go.

Bro, tell me, man. What happened in the Vegas Room?

I can't tel! You that, man.

You lot are so wrong.

- But so right! - AH right, listeners,

I need to know what happened in the Legacy Vegas Room fast night.

So, any of you out there that saw my boy in there, cal! in.

You can't break the rules, man. What happens in Vegas...

Stays in Vegas!

One of your own favorite facial expression?

If I got killed, who would play me on Crime watch?

Me. I would.

No, you wouldn't, bruv.

- I would. - Trust me. I could.

Set. Big man!

Fuck's sakes!

Who let the dogs out.

Give it up for my boy, Akshay.

What's going on?

Legacy. I don't know if you've heard of it...

It's Western night at the club. Too much?

A little bit.

You're right.

A smaller bra.

Did Shanice tell you what you had to do?

Nice.

Sardines.

Smells like a skank's pussy,

but they're good for your heart, yo.

That's what's important.

Your health.

Sean.

Sorry.

"D, D, D, D, D." What, you got a stutter?

D, you know D. Um...

Crackhead Tina's cousin, sleeps with everyone.

I mean, you probably had a bit of that...