All language subtitles for As.Good.as.It.Gets.1997.1080p.BluRay.x264.anoXmous_eng

© anoXmous
@ http://thepiratebay.sx/user/Zen_Bud

I'm just gonna get some flowers, dear.
I'll be back in 20 minutes.

It's tulip season today,
and I'm, oh, so happy.

[Elevator Bell R/hgs ]

Son of a-[Man]
Come on, sweet/e.

Come on, sweetie.

Excuse me.

Yes, come on.
Come on, now, sweetheart.

Come on, sweetie. Come on.

Go fara //tt/e ride, then you
can wh/'z all over the city.

Come on.

Come on. Go for a ride. Come on.
Come on, sweetie.

No! Freeze, freeze.

I eg down. I eg down.
I eg down. I eg down.

That's it. That's it.
Come on, now.

Come on. Come on, now. Come on.

No! You monkey-eared
son of a-[Growls]

You... have pissed
your last floor.

I bet you... wish you were...
a real d-

Oh! Oh, you-

you dog-eared monl 00:01:42,975
This is New York. If you can make
it here, you can make it anwvhere.

You ugly, smelly-
[I oua' Bang/ng]

[Dog Wh/'n/hg]
[Bang/ng C ont/nues ]

[Man] Verde/I? U h -0 h.

Verde/I? Verde/I?

Where 3 my good dogg/é?
Verde/I?

Come here, sweetheart.

- Mr. Udall?
- Mm-hmm?

- Have, uh-Have you seen Verdell?
- What does he look like?

Uh, my dog. You know, my-

my dog with the little face,
little adorable face.

Don't you know
what my dog looks like?

Oh! I got it. You were talking
about your dog. Yeah.

I thought it was the name of that colored
man that I've been seeing in the halls.

Which color was that?

Uh, lil 00:02:47,915
F ra n k! Perfect for smelling
trouble and, or/son fooo'.

Frank! Simon, you have
got to get dressed.

- Frank Sachs, Melvin Udall.
- How ya doin'?

Frank shows my work, Mr. Udall.

I think-Yeah, I think you know that.
People are gonna start coming.

What I know is as long as you keep
your work zipped up around me,

I don't give a rat crap what
or where you 5/70 ve yourshow.

Are we done
being neighbors for now?

Let me talk to you for a minute.
No, no, no.

Not worth it. Deñn/te/J/ not worth it.
L/ero'e// must be in the apartment.

Okay.

Hope you find him.
Love that dog.

You don't love anything,
Mr. Udall.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

One, two, three, four, five.

One, two, three, four, five.

One, two, three, four, five.

Okay.

Hot! Hot, hot, hot!

0oh! 0oh!

[Crowd Chattering]
[Man] 0/7, Carl, Carl.

Hi, Carl. Franl<.
So, where is he?

He's here, isn't he? He lives here.
No, no. Take it easy.

He just had a little thing
with the dog.

First of all, it's not such a
hot-looking dog. He's adorable.

[Man] Where are you going, Frank?
Who buys more than me?

Good Lord! My honey,
where have you been?

Oh, look at my boy!
Look at him! Mmm.

- Yeah, I found him, Mr. Bishop.
- I know you did. We know you did.

[Chuckling] Where was my little baby?
Where was my baby?

In the basement garbage bin,
eating diaper shit.

Go ahead john.
You earned your fun.

[Laughing] I'm sorry.
It just struck me as funny.

0/7, u/7, wait.

How did he get down
in the basement?

I mean, even if he
got in the elevator-

Maybe some nice neighbor shoved
him down the garbage chute?

[Me/Vin ] 'Somewhere
in the dar/g I KVP/hg]

"she han' confessed
ana' /7e had forg/ven."

“Th/S /5 what you //Ve for, '
he said.

"Two heads on a pil/om
where a/I /5 appro val,"

“and there /3 only the safety
of being with each other.

'Ham she wondereai
could she 27m' such hope...

“in the most shameful part of her?
[Knoc/(At Door]

[Simon] /I/lr. Uda/I? “At last,
she was able to define love.

"Love was-"
[Knack/ng C ont/nues ]

Mr. Udall, I'd like
to speak to you, please.

Let me do this by myself.

"“Love was-" [Knack/hg C
ont/nues ] Are you in there?

Son of a bitch!

Pans y ass stoo/pus/re/t/.

Yes!

Maybe this can wait. Yeah.

I- I found, uh-
I found Verdell, Mr. Udall.

Well, that's a load off.

Uh-huh. Did you-
Did you d-do something to him?

Do you realize that
I worl< at home?

Uh, no. I wasn't aware.

Do you like to be interrupted when you're
nancing around in your little garden?

No, no, I-I-No, no.

I actually will turn the ringer offon my phone
and sometimes put a piece of cardboard in-

Well, I work all the time.

So never, never interrupt me.
Okay?

Not /fthere '5 a fre,

not even if you hear the sound
of a thud from my home...

and one week later, there's a smell
coming from there that can only be...

a decay/hg human body, ana' you have
to /70/0' a han/de to your face...

because the stench is so thick
that you think you're gonna faint.

Even then, don't come knocking.

Or, /f/? S election n/ghz:

And you're excited and you want to celebrate
because some fudge packer that you date...

has been e/ectea' the ñrst queer
president of the United 5 tates,

and he's going to have you
down to Camp David,

and you want someone
to share the moment with.

Even then, don't knock.

Not on this door.

Not for any reason.

Do you get me, sweetheart?

Yes.

It's not a... subtle point
that you're making.

Okay, then.

So, the theory of confrontation says now
he'll think twice before messing with me.

All right.

"“Love was-"

[Mumbling] What was love?

"“Love was-"

[Knock/ngA t Door]

Now I'm pissed.
Now I am really pissed!

H00! [Grunts] Don't touch.

Don't touch! Don't touch!
Shh. Shh. Shut up!

You think you can intimidate the whole world
with your attitude, but you don't intimidate me.

I grew up in hell, homeboy.

My grandmother had more attitude.
Police!

Doug/mut-munc/v/'ng m0r0n5/
Help me!

Help me! Help me! Shh. Shut up!

Assault and battery,
and you're black!

I like Simon! I like him enough
to batter you unrecognizable...

if you verbally abuse him or so
much as touch that dog again.

Meantime,

I'm gonna think of some way
that you can make it up to him.

I hate doin' this!
I'm an art dealer.

Have a nice day. OI 00:10:05,144
[Party]

Excuse me.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't touch.
Don't touch. Get a life.

[Man] Hey watch it! Don't touch!

Look at you. You're all better, huh?
Uh-huh.

It's that new medication. So you
know all my son's stuff, right?

No, no, no, no. I got a date tonight. I'm
walkin' out the door, he says to me,

"“Mom, I promise not to get one of my
fevers or coughs during your date."

Isn't that sweet? Little blond angel.
Eats everything.

It just came out. I said, “You love me
the way you love your remote control.

"As long as I switch every time you press
one of my buttons." That's great.

I know, yeah. Terrific.

I think people that talk in metaphors
ought to shampoo my crotch.

[Me/vin ] Eat up. [ Wa/'tressj Stay there.
I've got your money.

No, you pay me next week. No, I owe you.
I told you today. That's the rule.

'Scuse me, Melvin. [Mumbling]

'Scuse me.

- There you go. You take care.
- Thank you.

Pardon me.

Pardon me. Take the money.
Debts make me crazy.

Th/k way you take a cab home 50 you
have time to get ready for the date.

"[Chuckling]
“Ready" is not my problem.

[Laughing] I'm starving!

Go on. Sit down. You know
you're not allowed bacl< here.

Spence is more excited
by it than I am.

He says, "Mom, I promise not to get a
fe ver or cough during your date. ".

Coming through. Sometimes,
this kid, you just wanna-

[Growls]
I've gotJews at my table.

It's not you're table; It's
the place's table. Behave.

This once, you can sit
at someone else's station.

[Waitresses Gasping]

Or you can wait your turn.

You have feelings
for-Well, yes.

[ Conversation C ont/nues ]
How much more you got to eat?

Appetites aren't as big
as your noses, huh?

- What?
- That's it. Forget it.

[ Wa/'tressj Al/ r/g/rt let
me talk to /7/777. Let's go.

Barred for life. Here I go!

- They left.
- Yeah, what do you know?

Bryan says he doesn't care
how long you've been coming.

You ever act /I/(e this again,
you're barrea' for life.

I'm gonna miss the excitement,
but I'll handle it.

Three eggs over easy,

two sausa ge, six strips
of bacon with fries.

- Fries today?
- A short stack,

coffee with cream
ana' sweetener.

You're gonna die soon with
that diet, you know that.

Ah, we're all gonna die soon. I will, you
will, and it sure sounds like your son will.

If you ever mention my son again,
you will never be able to eat here again.

Do you understand?

Give me some sign you
understand, or leave now.

Do you understand me,
you crazy fuck?

Do you?

[Mumbling] Yeah, yeah. Yes.

Yes.

Okay, I'll get your order.

Why don't you wear
my earrings tonight.

[Door Opens ] /t 'sjust 50 in
terest/hg what you 53/0' at dinner.

You said it like it was nothin”.
I mean if you-Aah!

[Laughing]

[Whispering] Where's the bedroom?
Uh, uh, the truth-

This is sort of it.
I sort of, om-

I sort of s-sleep in here.

Don't worry about it.

[Chuckling]

What?

I-I don't know.

[ Chi/a' C aug/ring]

Grandma. Grandma.

Maybe you'd better checl<.

What did you think
I was gonna do?

♪♪ [ Woman Humm/hg ]

0/7, I'm sorry.

Mom! Mama! I was hearing
everything that you were doing,

so I put these on
to give you privacy.

50 /70w was dinner? Hey pal.

How's your friend? You okay?

Not bad. You got a temperature?

Scootch over.

[Spencer] Where did your
mena take you to eat?

Nice place.
[ Spencer C aug/ring ]

Carol, I have h/m. Carol.

One more spit. Isa/d I have /7/777.
He'5 wait/ng:

Go! [Spencer] She has me.

Okay, pal. Give me a hug. Caro/I.

Give me a big hug.
Carol, I have h/m.

I'm okay, Mom. She has me. Go.

Close the curtains.

No, no, no. You can't smoke.
He can't take smoke.

Magic.

Oh. [Chuckles]

Ah. Oh, God. Well,
that'll teach you.

I don't even notice it anymore.

Al/ right Come here.

It's all right. You don't have to get that embarrassed.
It's a little bit of throw-up.

Little bit of throw up.

Well, what should we do?

Want me to write down which trains you take
to get home, or you wanna lay down and-

No, no, no.
I'll-I'll take a cab.

Just a little too much reality
for a Friday night.

[Man] I just can't I, arom/sed
Simon / 'a' ñna' him a model.

[Man ♪2] Carl, ta/(e me 0h' the speaker.
D/'d/ tell you that these are house seats?

Come on. You could use a break.

Hel/o? Carl?

You there? [Horn Honking]

Hel/o? Okay. I just
found a model.

[Horn Honking] Hey, boys.

Hey, look. I know this guy. He
even bought me dinner. Hey!

Carl, right?

Hey. What's goin' on?

- Hey. Hi. Remember?
- I only need one.

You picked me up, maybe a few
weeks, I don't know, some time ago.

- But this is for a portrait. I need a pretty face.
- Portrait?

Come here. I'll give you the
address It's for tomorrow mom/ng

Brad Pitt is the shit.
Do you read?

[Doorbell R/hg/'ngj
♪♪ [Classical]

W/70 /5 it, baby?
[ G rowl I n g ]

Who is that, Verdell?
Who is that?

Uh, I-I'm sorry.
I-I told you today.

I was out in the studio
doing my work, and I just-

It's out here. You sure
have great things.

Gershwin. He's great, isn't he?

I usually make such a big deal about
pickin' models, but Carl is 50 thorough.

/bet /7e dro ve you nuts
check/ng your résumé, huh?

♪ ♪ [ Humming]

This is not a nude.

Just kiddin' around.

So much for love.

And yet another pose.

Exact/J/ what /5 your pre v/'ous experience?
How 'bout that?

I'm runn/'n ' out
of /deas here.

Well, then give me
some direction, okay?

Uh, nothing. I just watch
until something, uh, strikes me.

I mean, do, do anything
that you tn/nk of.

"Walt for me to 5a y,
'7-/0/0' that pose, "

ana' then just try to...
comfortably /70/0' it.

No direct/on.

Okay.

What I do is I watch.

You ever watch somebody who doesn't
know that you're watching them?

An old woman...
sitting on a bus,

or kids going to school
or somebodyjust waiting?

And you see this flash
come over them,

and you know immediately that it has
nothing to do with anything external,

because that hasn't changed.

Ana' when you see it, the y're just son*
of "realer" ana' they're more alive.

I mean, you look at someone long
enough, you discover their humanity.

Wow.

No, no. I know exactly
what you mean.

Oh, my God. Hold it.

[Man] Hey, look out.
[Woman] Excuse me.

Whoa! Sorry.

[ Woman] 50 I went in, ana' I got
on the third //ne of dialogue,

and all of a sudden, I blanked.

I had no clue as to what the next line was.
Clippity-clop, clippity-clop.

"Ignores me. So he said
to me, “Last chance."

Last chance. Oh, God.

- So I came back in.
- Here she comes to ignore me again.

I messed up in the exact same line.
Mmm.

I know, but guess what?
[Gargling]

What? He cast me!

Just what the world needs.
Another actress.

[ Laughin g ]
Okay, okay, 0I 00:22:01,359
Can't //ve without me, huh?

I'm ñna//y gonna ask. Al/ r/ghz:
What's with the plast/c p/'cn/c wear?

Why don't you try ours?
Are you afraid /t /sn 't clean?

You Okay? Yep.

Well, I see the help.
It's ajudgment call.

So give yourself
a little pep tall<:

“Must try other people's
clean silvenNare...

"as part of the fun
of dining out."

What's wrong with your son?

[Chuckles] What do you care?

He's got to fight to breathe. His
asthma canjust shoot off the charts.

He's allergic to dust,
and this is New York,

so his immune system bails on him whenever
there's trouble, so an ear infectio-

Is this bothering you?

No.

An ear infection, whatever, sends us to the
emergency room five, six times a month,

where I get whatever nine-year-old
they just made a doctor.

Nice chatting with you.

Wh-His name?

- Spencer.
- OI 00:23:15,267
Spence.

Puppy. /z“5 Okay. Go on. Go on.
♪♪ [ Woman S/hg/ng On Rad/o ]

[Singing Along]
♪ Hand on my heart ♪

♪♪ [ Rad/o C ont/'nues ]

You can put on anything you want now.
I might be sort of done here.

I been comin' here for two weeks, and
all we've done is work. Let's play!

♪♪ [Loud Rock]

Vincent!

[ Tums I/o/ume Down SI/g/lt/y]

♪ /t'5 very fav/away.”

♪ /t takes about
a ha/fa day to get there ♪♪

♪♪ [ Continue: /nd/Lct/hct/y] So,
you're practically finished, huh?

Uh, yeah. There is
one more stage.

Oh!

- Where ya goin'?
- No place. I was just gonna sneal< a peek.

- [ Barking]
- Verdell!

- Verdell, you want some chocolate?
- No. He's not allowed.

Wait, om, om, I gotta take off. Do
you wanna say good-bye or anything?

Yeah! He'sjust gotta go. One second.
No, wait. Um, om-

[ Verde/I Bark/ng ] I'm gonna
lool< at the painting, all right?

[ Simon ] Where you go/'nj sweet/vem??
Verde/I?

Want some water? What
/5 the matter w/thyou?

Come on. You want some water?

Simon, wait!

Yo.

Why are you doing this?

Uh, no, no, no. No, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait.

See, man,
that pa/htmg in there-

[Man] What are you do/hg,
Cru/'s/h ' /7/777?

[All Screaming]

[Screaming] Excuse me.

[Simon] He/, 0 me! [ Man
] No, we gotta go.

[Shouüng] Comeom comeomcomeon.

[Barking]

Okay, so you call 9-1-1 and don't leave your name?
Th-That's right. Yes.

Even a dumb geezer should know that
emergency-just mo ve on. No one /

- 0/7, /5 /7e dead?
- Ask him.

- What's wrong with you?
- Don't bark at me. I didn't name ya.

We will. Ana' /fwe can T,

we'll come bacl< and ask
you again and again.

Hey. What, are you tryin' to
intimidate me with that attitude?

I come from /7e//. My grandmothers*
got more attitude than you.

Go shake down a 7-E/e ven fara day-ola' Wiener.
They want you inside, sir.

[Man I just a matter of time, sir. There '5
a paint/ng of one of the guys in /7ere.

[Man ♪2] Get some tape on it.

Oh, I've been praying
for him since I heard.

[Frank] 50, anyway, I'm on
my way to the hospital.

If you could just watch the dog.
Just for tonight.

Oh, no, no, no. No?

No, no, no. I'm sorry. [Sighs] Okay.
Thanl 00:26:53,276
Old bitch! Damn dog!

[Chuckling]

You're takin' him.
Yes! Yes, you are!

Get the he/I out of the way!
You 're ta/(I/f/I/'nz.

This W/'l/ even the books.
One night.

No, wait, wait, wait, wait.

"You want to say “no" to me?

"You want to
say “no" to me? Huh?

You want to 5a y "no" to me?

I don't wanna say
nothin' to you.

Because I've never felt this crazy
as I do right now.

I almost-I almost
want you to say “no...

[Breathing Heavily]

[Elevator Bell R/hgs ]

- Thanks for lookin' after him.
- Hey. Where ya goin'?

You can't do this! You don't
want to mess with me today!

I can't take a dog! Nobody?
Ever been in here before!

[ Pantin g ] Hey Fran/d.

Uh, Frank?

Hey, Frank! Frank!

[Elevator Bell R/hgs ]

Uh, uh, three, four, five.

[ C ount/hg C ont/'nues ]

You're dead.

Well, we don't have no dog food here;
We don't wa nt no dog food here.

You'll eat what we got!
What we eat!

All right.

Don't you do anything!

Where's the trust?

[ Barks]

Ne vera break. Ne ver.

DOgs/

♪♪ [ Piano]

JAlways look at the
bright side of your life ♪

, WA/ways /00/( at the //gh
ter side of your //fe ♪♪

God!

Well, we're not going to sell anything if
they find out we're halfway through a show...

and we haven't sold
a single painting!

No, we can't reduce the price
at this stage! Sir, please.

[ Woman] 5/7/7/5/7/7/ I'm
in a free fall here.

Yes? We can see him.

Okay. I'll meet you in there.

I will meet...
you in there, okay?

One minute.

Thank you. No, I'm here.

How ya doin”, great one?

I ha ven 't looked
at m yse/f yet.

I figured I could tell
from your reaction.

- [ Sobbing]
- That bad, huh?

Okay. I talked
to the doctor, and-

Oh, sh-[Groans]

Okay itä, it's not that bad.

I ta/keo' to the doctors, ana' they 5a y you
're gonna be your o/o' self/n a couple weeks.

I mean, the scars here m/ght
take a //tt/e-0/7, shit!

- [ Sobbing]
- AM/, sh-

- Oh, Simon.
- Uh, Jackie?

- [Sobbing ] Yes?
- Can you hand me a mirror, please?

N-No.

[Sobbing] Wait. I
have a smaller one.

Okay.

- So, how are things, anyway?
- [ Chuckling, Sobbing]

- How is Verdell?
- Your neighbor, Mr. Udall,

tak/ng care of /7/777.

How c-How could you do that?

HGV/hurt /7/777. No, Simon.
I promise.

Not a chance!

I own this guy! Besides, there was nobody else.
You know, I'm always on the move, and-

Trust me.

You are very certain my dog is okay,
because you have no idea-

Yes, your dog is fine, Simon.

Okay.

Waiting gives the devil time.

Oh, my.

Where'd I go?

[ Girl] I 0ok how méndb/ he is.
[ Carol] That 3 your dog?

[ Chi/a' ] He'550 ca/m! What
are you doing with a dog?

[Sighs]

Suckered in, set up,
pushed around.

You're not worried
someone might take it?

No, not until now,
for Christ sal 00:33:10,111
Sorry. I'm gonna sit here.

H64 Pil/JPM' He '5 cute!

//0 ve /7/'5 little iâce.
It's 50 cute.

I wonder what breea' he is?

You know, he's a little dog.

Next time, if Bryan's not
here, you can bring him in.

How old are you?

[Chuckles] Ifl was gonna
guess by your eyes,

I'd say you were 50.

If I went by your eyes,
I'd say you were kind.

So, so much for eyes, but as long as
you bring up age, how old are you?

Oh, no, no. I mean, not-in other
words-Well, you brought it up.

Not that you're ugly; That's not
what I'm saying. [Chuckles]

Easy, easy, pal.
I can take the compliment.

But my knees start knockin' when
you turn on the charm full blast.

No, but I mean, what's, uh-
what's with the dark?

Dawn patrol. Uh-huh.

Major dawn patrol.
My son had a full-blown attacl<.

And this time, for extra fun,
they gave us the wrong antibiotics.

So I get him home-No,
no, no, no, no, no.

The dog. It's bacon for
the-Bacon's for the-

for the dog.

Last week, I was playin' the piano
for him, and he-he likes it.

So I decide I'm gonna...

uh, make a littlejoke.
So, you're all set here?

I think it's a beautiful
day for our walk today.

Very nice.

Wh-Huh?

Hey! Hey! [Chucl 00:35:03,641
I 0ok at that! I 0ok at /z/nv!

I gotta give you somethini I gotta
give you somethin' real good too.

I'm gonna show it to ya.
Come on, buddy.

Don't be like me.
Don't you be like me.

You stayjust the way you are,
'cause you are a perfect man,

and I'm gonna take you home
and get you somethin' to eat.

What you /0 ve, you hear me?
O h h h!

I'd lil that. I'm
gonna take you home r/;Ght now...

and get you some-Yes!

Let's go home
and do some writing.

[Me/Vin ] “He had made the g/'r/ happy.
I KVP/ng]

“And what a girl!

“'You saved my life, '
she said.

'You'd better make it
up to me?”.

Done.

Done! Yes, I hate the doggie.
Yes, I hate the doggie!

Whoa, 62 books!

Done!

[ Woman] We ha ve to cut back
expenses every place we can.

[ Woman ♪2]
He has no medical insurance?

No. I et me see. These
are the food rece/pts.

Yeah. Here are the
household expenses.

Here '5 one for the dog again.

I can read it. I got it.
I can't see it.

And all the laundry and the cleaners.
Okay, good.

[Me/Vin ]
Boy, look at that, huh?

He likes/t. [Doorbell Ringing]

0/7, /7e //kes it at Chez Me/v/h.
Mm-hmm.

What are you com/n ' 0 ver here for?
/ told you to 5/2* here.

[Doorbell Ringing] /can't
C00/( with a dog near me.

Okay just sit. Good
We don't want any company.

I '// read you a little Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Okay Ha ve it your way

[Doorlock Tums]

_ Hey-_ Hey-

How's Verdell doin'?

Ah, you know,
he's a pain in the ass.

Well-Simon's home.

I was son* of hop/ng
you can keep the dog..

Until he '5 had a chance
to think ana' aajust.

Oh, well, it's been weeks and weel 00:37:16,774
No, no. He definitely wants
him back right away.

He '// be by tomorrow.

Okay.

O/(ay by me.

Hungry, huh?
Be right with you, pooch.

One, two, three...

four, ñve.

One, two, three, four.

I'm ol 00:37:56,634
[Exhales]

[Cries, Sniffles]

[Whispering] Okay.

[I ock Tum/ng] [
Whisper/hg] Three.

Mr. Uda/I?

Some face they left hangin' on ya.
You look like-

Would you take it...

Just...

a little easy, Mr. Udall?

Thank you.

Verdell?

Come here, m y beautiful [20 y!

Come here! Come here, boy!

I ez“5 go home ana' get well.

Ah, you can't blame him
for being weird.

Have a look at yourself
in the mirror.

Thank you.

Come on, sweetheart!

Verdell? Come here.
Come here, boy.

I know what you want.

[Kissing] Come on!

Where '5 my 170W.

No. D-D-Don't force h/m.

J.” [Piano]

[ C /vuc/(I/hg]

[Over a dog!, ry/Ends]

[Chuckling] Over an ugly dOg!

Worst Sidewalk in New York.

Look where they put it.

Hi. Help!

If you want to see me, you will not do this.
You will make an appointment.

Dr. Green, how can you diagnose someone
as an obsessive-compulsive disorder...

and then act as though I had
some choice about barging in.

There's not going to be
a debate. You must leave.

You said you could help me!
What was that? A tease?

I can help you if you tal 00:41:25,355
You changed the room around.
Two years ago.

I also regrew my beard, but you're
not interested in changes in me.

So it's like I always-Shh. I don't
have this mountain of available time.

I have to get to
my restaurant on time.

Now, do you know how hard
it was for me to come here?

Yes. [Whispering] Thank you.

No, we're not doing this now.

I changed just one pattern,
as you always said I 5/70u/a'.

No. Nope.

[Chattering, Falling Silent]

What if this is
as good as it gets?

Oh!

[Door Opens, S/ams Shut ]

What the heck are those for?

No, no, no. Get Carol.

Oh, I'm fillin' in. We don't
know if she's comin' bacl<.

You know, I think she m/ght be
gett/ng a job closer to home.

- Why plastic?
- Wh-What are you tryin' to do to me?

What the heck do you mean?

Look, elephant girl, just-just
g-go get Carol or something.

Just have her do
my one meal here. I-

You know, I'll pay whatever you want.
I'll wait.

[Shouüng] Do it! - [ Gasps]

Bryan. Bryan. Code blue. Bryan.
[Me/Vin ] 0/7, no.

Out! Just shut up and get out!

[Bryan ] Do it!

I'll be quiet.

Just let me stay here. I'll-No problem.
Go get Carol.

Get her here.

I'm not a... prick.
You are. I'm notjudging.

I'm a great customer.

This da y..

Has been a disaster.

- I'm not sure if I can... handle this too.
- Get out!

Get out immediately,
or there 3 gonna be trouble.

Man, /mean it.

Okay.

[Cheering]

See ya! Bye!

It's about time!

Carol's last name? Connelly.

Tha n k you.
[ Cheer/ng Continue: ]

[Boy] Hey Dad! Dad!
I'm over here!

[ C /7//dren C hatter/hg ]

Does he visit often? No, not really.
Not anymore.

What can you do?

[Man Chatter/ng]

[ C h//d ]
Can /get some ice cream, Grand/Ja?

[Man]
Why not? You 're a good girl.

Hello.

[Me/Vin ] Aye-y/-y/I.

Oh! [Grunts] Christ!

[Groans]

[ Buzzer 5 ound/hg ]

♪♪ [Rad/o ] [Knoc/(At Door]

I'm hungry-

You've ru/'nea' m y who/e day.
I ha ven 't eaten.

- What are you doing here?
- This is not a sexist thing.

If you were a waiter, I'd-Are you totally gone?
This is my private home!

I'm trying to keep
emotion out of this,

even though it's
an important issue to me.

And I have very strong
feelings on the subject.

What subject? That I wasn't there to
tal 00:45:50,283
Do you have any control over how
creepy you allow yourself to get?

Yes, I do, as a matter of fact.

And to prove it, I have not
gotten personal, and you have.

Why aren 't you at work?

You sick?

You don't look sicl<.

Just tired and bitter.

My son is sick, okay?

What about your mother?

How do you know
about my mother?

I hearyou talking while I wait.

[Spencer] Mom, I f/n/'sned m y juice.
I'm sorry, honey One sec.

/WO/n?

How ya doin'?

You should answer someone
when they speak to you.

I'm sorry, Melvin. That's it. I cannot
handle you teaching my son manners!

Owg.

Back to life.

U/7-0/7. What? Wrong?

[Together] Five one-thousand,
four one-thousand,

three one-thousand,
two one-thousand, bingo.

104.9. We're gonna treat
ourselves to a cab ride.

I 0ok out, you guys.
C om/hg through.

Look out.

Look out, you guys.
What's wrong?

We're 0I 00:47:48,321
Melvin!

Wait!

[Chanting] Melvin, wait!
Melvin, wait!

Me/V/h, wait! Me/v/h, Wait!
Me/V/h, wait! Me/v/h, Wait!

Shut up, kids!

Give us a //ñt
would you, Me/v/h?

A lift. OI 00:48:13,759
Cover your mouth
when you cough, I 00:48:18,768
Brooklyn Presbyterian Hospital, please.
And quickly, please!

Hospital? Yes.

Any chance you'll be
back at work today? No!

Stay away from me! God!

Simon, we can't
put this off an y longer.

I feel terrible that I have
to-[Makes Kissing Noise]

Simon. Huh?

Simon, could you just
leave the dog for a second?

Sony.

What are those cards?

Oh, Frank's idea. He thought I should
have notes so I did this right.

Maintained focus, didn't get emotional
and tried not to terrify you.

See, he's right.
I need the cards.

“Simon, you're broke.

"The medical bills are 61,000 now,
and the show didn't go well."

I've spoken to your parents.
They didn't hang up or anything.

But... they said they would
feel strange about calling you.

Oh. Well, I can't call them.

Come here, baby.

Come here, baby.

Verdell! What's wrong?

You miss the tough guy?

[Imitating Melvin]
Well, here I am, sweetheart.

Happy to see me,
you //tt/e p/;Csant map?

How 'bout another ride
down the chute?

Oh, God. I'm sorry. I did not mean that.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

.Si/non? / d/“dn 't
mean that, sweetheart.

S/'Inon/ I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'll be able to keep my apartment
and the studio, won't I?

Uh-

Wow. Oh, my God. Wow.

Yes, you write more than everybody else.
Yes, you make us a lot of money.

But I think it's more appropriate
for you-Look. Lool<.

"I need this.
Just say, “Melvin, I'll try."

Okay? Hmm?

[Mouthing Words]
Melvin, I'll try.

Thank you. That's good.

Now, on a pleasanter note, myson,
he just got accepted to Brown.

My husband was dying.

Uh, yeah. Good. Nice. Uh, thrilled.
Exciting, uh-

You don't have to wait with me.

I can't resist. You usually
move through here so quickly,

ana' I just have 50 many
questions / wanna ask you.

You have no idea
what your work means to me.

What does it mean to you?

That somebody out there
knows what it's lil 00:51:39,302
to be in here.

Oh, God.
This is lil 00:51:48,015
Oh, come on. Just a couple of questions.
How hard is that?

How do you write women so well?

I think of a man, and I take
away reason and accountability.

[Elevator Bell R/hgs ]

[Children Chattering]

/I//.D.

[Woman] What's wrong?

Mom! In here, Mrs. Connelly.

- What? What?
- Hi.

- Please, what? Just tell me.
- I'm Martin-

- What? Please, just tell me.
- I'm Martin Bettes. Dr. Bettes.

Not your name! What are you telling
me your name for? Where is he?

- He's in the bathroom.
- Hey.

[Spencer] What? Wrong?
[Carol] Nothing.

Do you know there are doctors
come to your house? No, I didn't.

So, what are you doing here?
Well-

I d/'dn 't know that you
had a secret adm/'ren.

What? Oh, you met the gift.

He '5 good I'm an
expert on doctor:

Okay, Doctor.

My wife is
Melvin Udall's publisher.

She said I was to take
excellent care...

of this little guy because you are
urgently needed back at work.

That's what she told me. What-
What k/ha' of work do you do?

- I'm a waitress.
- In Manhattan.

[ Woman] Dr. Bettes?

Uh, yeah, Terry-Excuse me.

Hi, I'm sorry it took so long.
I don't know Brool 00:53:33,082
I couldn't find it either.
Could you get this to the lab?

Tell 'em I need C.B.C., differential,
platelets, the whole thing. OI 00:53:39,589
And I want it backtoday.
Ha! I'm sorry.

Did you say you're gonna get
the results back today?

Sure. Let's sit down.

[Carol]
These are the rece/ptg u/7,

from all the prescriptions
from the beginning of the year.

Don't forget the calendar. Yeah, yeah.
And this is a calendar...

of days and how he felt
and what he's been eating.

That's very good. How long
has he had the problem?

Since forever. Six months old.
OI 00:54:08,284
And have they done blood
tests on him? Yeah.

Only in the emergency room, or when he was well?
Emergency room only.

Okay, and how about skin
testing for allergies?

No. No standard scratch test?
They poke 'em with a needle.

No, I asked. They said my plan didn't cover
it and that it wasn't necessary anyways.

- Why, should they have?
- Well-

Fucking H.M.O. bastard
pieces of shit! Carol.

- I'm sorry.
- It's ol 00:54:37,146
[Laughs]

So, once the tests come back,
is there someone...

in your office we should talk
to to get the results, or, uh-

Um, me. My home
number's on the card.

That's his home number.

[Laughing Hysterically]

[Mouthing Words]

- What?
- It's your home-

Ha.

Uh, can we get you
anything else?

- Do you want some water or some coffee?
- No, thank you.

A couple of female slaves?
[Laughs]

Mrs. Connelly, there's still
a lot of tests I need to do,

a /ot of things I ha ve
to 17/70' out here.

But look, whatever I find out,

I promise you at the very least
from now on...

your son is gonna feel
a great deal better, okay?

Doc.

[Both Laugh]

No-Um, fine.
OI 00:55:51,133
That's good. [Mumbling]

So, listen, you gotta let me
know about the additional costs.

- One way or another we'll-
- Well, the costs are gonna be coos/derabte, I'm a/? A/d.

But don't war/y.
Mr. Uda/I wants to be billed.

That's wonderful.

[Woman Crying]

[Simon] Anyway, dear, thank
you for everything, Nora.

Forgive my recent crankiness. I'll call
when things get back on track, okay?

[Grunting, Sniffling]

Ah.

[Hlø/.O/e., Huh? What's wrong?

Who's gonna walk Verdell?

0/7, no!

[No]

[Sniffling]

[Low Groan]

Is he dead yet? No.

Uh, would there be any way...

that you would be willing
to walk his dog for him?

Absolutely.

You're a wonderful man.

2:00 would be a good time,
and here is the key...

in case he is asleep.

Open his curtains for him...

so he can see
God's beautiful worl<.

And he'll know that...

even things like this
happen for the best.

Where did they teach you
to talk lil 00:57:36,659
"In some Panama City sailor
“wanna hump-hump" bar?

Or /3 this geia way day ana'
your last shot at /7/'5 Whiskey?

Sell crazy someplace else.
We're all stocked up here.

No, no! There is a seriously
goofy man behind this!

You're not allowed to block out that fact!
Do you really want...

to go back to emergency where those runt
doctors keep telling us that they can't help?

This lets a crazy man into our lives.
Let's not f/ght.

You know how this will turn out.
Come on!

You know how
this will turn out.

This is not like stockings.
It's not like a string of pearls.

You don't send this one back.

Right?

[ Simon ]
No, /0'0. /understanaf.

A/I nghz: Listen.
/gotta go, Okay?

No, ol 00:58:45,603
Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

[Me/Vin ] What a day
Come here, come here.

Hey, maybe I'll bring
him some food by.

Thank you for walking him.
[Barking]

[Sniffling] Ifyou'II excuse
me, I'm not feeling so well.

Yeah, t/r/k place
smells /I/(e shit.

Go away.

What, this, uh-this
cleaning lady doesn't-

Please, just leave!

What happened
to your queer party friends?

Get outta here!

Nothing worse than having to
feel this way in front of you.

Nellie, you're a d/'sgrace
to depression.

Rot in hell, Melvin.

No need to stop bein'
a lady. Quit worryin”.

You'll be back on your
knees in no time.

[Grunts]

- Whee-Whee-Whee.
- [ Barks]

Is this fun for you, hmm?

Well, you lucky devil, it just keeps
gettin' better and better, doesn't it?

I'm losing my apartment, Melvin,
and Frank, he wants me...

to beg my parents-who haven't
called me-for help, and I won't.

Ana' /- I don't want
to paint anymore.

So, the life that I was
trying for is over.

The life that I had is gone,
and I'm feeling so damn sorry...

for myself that it's
difficult to breathe.

It's high times for you,
isn't it, Melvin?

The gay neighbor
is terrified. Terrified!

[Mumbles]

I was just trying
to give you a boost.

Lucky you, you're here
for rocl< bottom.

You absolute horror
of a human being.

[Sighs Slowly]

The one thing I'll do for you.
I, uh, might cheeryou up.

Get out.

You wanna know why
that dog prefers me?

It's not affection.
It's a trick.

I keep bacon in my pocl 01:01:35,898
[See? I: Barking]

[Laughing] Oh, my gosh. Huh?

We'll both call him.
You'll see. It's a... trick.

Okay?

Come here, Verdell.

Come here. Oop. Oop.

- Yo, yo.
- Come on.

[Laughs ] Come here.

Come here, baby. No.

It's okay. Come here. [Grunts]

[Groans]

[Spits]
Just a stupid, stupid dog.

[Bar/G]

Could you leave now?

Please.

I don't get it. I don't get it.

[ T/'C/(ing /

[ Thunderclap ]

[Man] Tax/Y [ Tra/Wc Whistle]

[ Thunderclap ]

[Whispering] Oh, sorry.

[TV Announcer] Again with Nick
at Nite's Classic TV Rewind.

[Buzz/ng] On repeat viewing,

one begins to suspect that might not really
be Major Healey in the phone booth after all.

- [ Coughing]
- Mr. Udall?

[ TI/Announcer] A second look at shows
that are always worth a second /oo/c.

- Carol, the waitress?
- Yes.

[ TI/ Con tinues, /nd/'st/hct]

[Gasps]

Hi.

The doctors gave me your billing address.
I'm sorry about the hour.

[ Tl/Announcer Cont/'nues
] U m- [ Ch uckles ]

If you're, uh-[Laughs]

[ Tl/Sw/tches Off] Um, if you're,
uh, worried about thanking me, uh-

That's not why I'm here.

Though you ha ve no idea what it's
/I/(e to have a real con versa tion...

with a doctor about Spencer.

Uh, note-Put it in a note.

[ EXha//hg/.

Uh-

Oh. So, I have-

I have a hairdryer, uh-

Why did you do this for me?

So you'd come back to work
and wait on me.

Do have some idea
how strange that sounds?

Well, I mean-
I'm worried you did this be-

Are you waiting for me
to say something?

Look, uh,

I'll be at the restaurant
tomorrow.

I don't think this can wait until tomorrow.
I need to clear this up now.

Clear what up?

I'm not going to sleep
with you.

I will never sleep with you.
Never, ever.

Not ever.

Well.

[Clicks Tongue]
I'm sorry, but, om...

we don't open for the no-sex
oaths until 9:00 a.m.

I'm not kidding.

Anything else?

Uh, just...

thank you.

So, you'll be at work tomorrow?

Yes.

[ Groan/hg 5/7uñ7/hg]

[Grunts]

“Never," she said.
“Never," she says.

[Groans]

[Knack/ng]

[ C ha/'ns Clank/ng ]

I tool< a chan-tool<
a chance you were up.

Uh, I brought you
some Chinese soup.

Uh, thanks.

[Grunts, Inhales Sharply]

BOy-

I've never been
this tired in my life.

I haven't been sleepini

I haven't been clear
in my head...

or felt like myself.

I'm in trouble.

It's not just the tiredness.

Boy. It's sick. Nauseous.

Sleepy-

Where everything
looks distorted,

ana' everything /hs/'de
just kind of ac/les...

and you can barely find
the will to complain.

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh.

I'm glad we did this.

Good talking to you.

[Door C los/hg ]

You are not stl/I wr/t/hg
that thank-you note?

I'm on the last page.
How do you spell “conscience"?

[Sighs] C-O-N-S-C-I-E-N-C-E.

Look, I got Sean from the bakery
to baby-sit so we could go out.

I still don't feel safe
leaving Spencer with someone.

- Could you spell it again, please?
- Spencer's okay.

You better start finding something
else to do with your free time.

- Sean, are you hang/y?
- [Sean] Yeah.

[Beverly]
Al/ right. We got pizza!

C aro/ ana' I are going out.

Sausage, pepperon/I You wanna ma/(e
this later for you ana' Spencer?

[Sean] Great. [Sighs] We are
goin' out lil 01:09:57,983
If you can't feel good
about this break...

and step out a little, then I-

I think you ought to have Mr. Udall
send you over a psychiatrist.

I don't need one, 'cause I know
what's really going on here!

I gotta finish this letter,
or I'll go nuts.

- Carol-
- This can't be right. “Con-science"?

Carol?

What?

[Gasping]

It's very weird now,
not feeling that...

stupid panic thing
inside me all the time.

Without that, I just start
thinking about myself, and...

what good does that
ever get anybody?

[Sniffling]

Today, on the bus, there
was this adorable couple,

and I felt myself...

giving 'em a dirty lool<.

I just had no idea
everything was-

[Crying, Breathless]

[Gasping]

Go ahead.

Moving in
the wrong direction...

away from a time when /remembered
what Iz* was like...

to have a man to anything.

Hold, fucking-

Sorry-No, it's okay.

Hands with, for Christ sake!

And...

I felt almost...

r-really bad
that Dr. Bettes is married.

[Laughing]

Which is probably why I make poor
Spencer hug me more than he wants to.

[Sniffles]

The poor kid doesn't have
enough problems.

He has to make up
for his mom not getting any.

[Exhales]

Who needs these thoughts?

- So, what are you saying? That you're frustrated?
- Leave me be!

[Knoc/(s Tab/e ] Why are you doing this?
What /3 /t you want?

I hope getting me thinking
about everything that's wrong,

when all I want to do is
not do that, has some purpose.

Really, Mom,
what is it you want?

What?

I want us to go out.

Okay.

[Woman] Like spiral curls and barrel
curls and everything lil 01:13:03,668
[Man ] /gotta go, j/mbo. / '// see ya.
Take care, babe.

[Man ♪2] Because I love you.
[Woman] Oh.

[Man ♪2 ] You know, it's got those big
windows, and there's lots of light.

[Man ♪3] Yeah, I don't
know where my wife is.

[Chattering Continues,
Indistinct]

Thank you. Now, I gotta
send you a thank-you note.

[Laughing]

Oh, look, Evelyn's here,
and her giantjoey.

Beverly!

That's why you brought me here. That's
really why you brought me here.

Well, you know,
it's not even mine.

And this guy Simon seems
to have enough on his mind.

But the dog did throw up twice
last night and his spark is off.

Well, take him to the vet.
I did.

They say his stomach's out of whack and
they need him for a couple of days.

Well, do it. What d-

[Frank] Sony Excuse me.

OI 01:14:00,850
- What's this?
- Um, it's a note.

- A note?
- Yeah, it's a thank-you note.

Thank-you note? No, no, no.

- You can read it later.
- No. No, thank you.

No. No, thank you.
No, no, no, no.

No.

Thank you. Thank you.

She's nice.

Yea h. Real nice, huh?

Really nice.

Shouldn't that be a good thing, telling
somebody, “No thanks required"?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Sure looks like it went over too.
[Laughs]

I mean-I00I< at you!

You're sure making the rounds. Simon
says you brought him soup last night.

[ C ont/nues Laugh/ng ]

- What?
- L 0ok at you. You think I'm a mark.

You he/pea' with the dog.
Now, there's other th/hgs.

Hey, I'm as concerned
about Simon as you are.

C0 n ce rn ed? It's not
just ñnanc/ä/ assistance.

He's gotta get to Baltimore to ask
his parents for money tomorrow.

Yeah, well, yeah.

I mean, if his parents are alive,
they have to help. It's the rules.

Good. That's great. Let them help him.
Absolutely.

Only, u/7,

I got a high-maintenance selling
painter coming through, so I'm out.

Can you drive him?

Think white and get serious.

Take my car, a Convertible?

- [ Laughing]
- Do you drive?

Like the wind.
But I'm not doin' it!

Gettin' loud, gettin' loud.

He wants me to take his car
and his client to Baltimore.

I want your life for one minute, where my big
problem is somebody offers me a free Convertible...

so I can get out of this city.

- [Stomps Foot]
- Go ahead girl.

[Sighs] Okay, I'll do it.
I'll tal 01:16:19,944
Yeah, get him ready, packed. Tomorrow morning,
I'll take him. Ol 01:16:23,410
OI 01:16:27,288
[Exhales ] All right, I'll see you tomorrow.
Let's not drag this out.

We don't enjoy
one another that much.

If there is some mental health
foundation that raises money...

for people like you,
please be sure to let me know.

Last-word freak.

Bye-bye. Good luck, lady.

[Woman] Is he talking to me?
So, anything else?

Yeah.

I'm gonna give my queer neighbor
a lift to Baltimore.

Okay.

Hey.

What I did for you-
It's working out?

What you did changed my life.

No, uh-

Uh, no thanl<-you note.

Well, part of what I said
in this entire history of my life,

which you won't read,
is that somehow...

you have done more for my mother, my
son and me than anybody else ever has.

I'm just gonna read you
this part of it.

“And that makes you the most
important, surprising,

“generous person I ever met
in my life,

“and that you're gonna be
in our prayers,

"our daily prayers, forever."

[Low Sigh] Lovely.

I\

I also wrote one part-
I'm just gonna say-

"I wrote, “I'm sorry." I w-

I was talk/ng about I was sar/y
when I got maa' at you for-for-

when you came over, and you told
my son that he oughta answer back.

So, I wrote that I was sorry
about that and that I-

I wrote I was sorry for bustin'
you on that and I'm sorry...

for bustin' in on you that
night when I said I was never-

I was sorry. And I'm sorry for
every time your food was cold,

and that you had to wait
two seconds for a coffee filler.

Ana' I'm sorry for ne ver spatt/ng r/;Ght
there at the tab/e in the restaurant

the human being that had it in
him to do this thing for us.

I'Iljust-You know what, I'm just
gonna start from the beginning.

[Whispers] Gee-“I
have not been able...

“to express my gratefulness to you.

"Even as //00/( at the word grateful' now,
it doesn't beg/n to tel/ you what I feel. ".

Uh, that's-

I see it. Thank you.

Thank you.

[Coughing]

Now, I want you to do
something for me.

"I'm sorry,
didn't I say, “What?"

"I thought I said, “What?"

What?

I want you to go on this trip.

[Laughs] No, sir.

I can't do this without you.

I'm afraid he might pull
the stiff one-eye on me.

I need you to chaperone.
Separate everything but cars.

You said you lil 01:19:51,159
- I'm sorry, “the stiff one-eye"?
- Two days.

I can't. I work. You get
off when you want to.

My son. Bettes said
he's doing fine.

- Melvin, I'd rather not.
- What has that got to do with it?

- Funny, I thought it was a strong point.
- Write a note. Ain't she sweet.

I need a hand,
and where'd she go?

Are you saying accepting
your help obligates me?

Is there any other way
to see it?

No.

Here's a little suitcase...

shocked that it's being used.

[Bang/ng]

[Sighs]

There's no way
to pack for this trip.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

[ Telephone R/hg/hg ]

Woo-woo.

[ Ring/ng C ont/nues ]

[Clears Throat]

Hello?

You're still comin”, aren't you?
Yes.

Melvin, I would like to know
exactly where we are going.

Um, just south
of Baltimore, Maryland,

and, uh, I know what
you're gonna say next.

I mean, I think I know.

I'm not-I'm not sure,
but I think so.

There's no need for me
to bring anything dressy?

I mean, I didn't know
if we were gonna be eating...

in any restaurants
that have dress codes?

Well, I, uh-

I mean, maybe, uh-

I mean, yes! Yes, let's.

Let's. Okay, got ya.

[Exhales]

What did you think
I was gonna ask?

Whether crabs were
in season there now.

Oh, okay, then.

Good night.

[Bark/hg D/ktant] [ Woman ]
Anything unusual in the dog? Diet?

No. Uh, everybody
gets their own cage?

- Certainly.
- Okay, put him in with that one, not that one.

Bu//ds /7/'5 conñdence, huh?
[laug/rs] O/(a y.

Lip kiss.

Ah!

I love you. I'll miss you.

Hey! Real sensitive.

Bye.

Call me when you get settled.

[Spencer] Don't worry, Mom!
Have a good time!

No, don't-don't run. Have fun!
Don't worry!

Don't run. No, no.
Have fun, but don't run.

Grandma will take care
of me! Bye!

[Laughs]

[Frank] Sorry I'm not tak/ng you m yse/f Simon.
[5/mon ] 50 am /, Fran/d.

Give me a hug.

Everything's gonna be
okay, all right? Yeah.

Soak it up. It's your last
chance for a hug for a few days.

Hello?

Hi.

Hi. Thank you
for being on time.

Hi. Oh, uh, 0h-

Uh, Carol the waitress,
Simon the fag.

Hello. Holy God,
who did that to you?

Um, I was-I was attacked.

Iwalked in on some men
robbing me and-

I-I was hospitalized.
I almost died.

Let's do the small talk
in the car. Uh, let's go.

Come on. How are you, sir? Oh,
I was gonna do that for you.

[ Carol] It's all right.
Where should we sit?

I, uh-Well, there's no place cards or anything.
That's all right.

You need a/I the room you can manage.
So, /'//5/'z* in the back.

[Sighs]

[Chuckles]

Never a breal<. Never.

I'm sorry. Thank you for the seat.
That was very thoughtful.

- Oh.
- [Fats 5//770n3Arm ]

You look like you're crowded in there.
Oh, it's all right.

[Eng/ne Re Wing,
Electron/c Beep/hg ]

Thanks.

[ Beep/hg C ont/nues,
Electron/c Wh/'rr/hg Noise]

[ No/kes Stop I.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I've got the whole
trip programmed.

♪♪ [Rad/o Blasts Out]
J V-/WC-J.”

♪ ♪ [Sw/Tches 06']
[Laughs] I'm just kiddini

I wanted to see what you'd do.
No, seriously.

We got good stuff here.

[ CD Player C //c/(in g ]

♪♪ [ Smooth, jazzy Beat]

[I Woman] J Mm, mm, mm ♪

[Man]
♪ When it's not always rain/n 'J

♪ They/I be days /I/(e ♪73,»
♪ Yeah ♪

♪ When there's no one
Comp/athtoç» I like this music.

♪ They/I be days /I/(e ♪73,»

♪ E ve/yth/hg 227//5 into place ♪
I like this music.

♪ U/(e the H/'ck of a switch ♪

♪ Well, my mama to/a' mej

♪ Thereb' be days //ke t/r/k ♪♪

♪ Well, I'm look/ng
for my gir/J

♪ I wonder where
where can 5/7e be ♪

♪ ♪ [ Continues ] [Carol ] Yes, I'm sure,
Simon, they did something really off...

for you to feel this way, but when it
comes to your parents or your kid,

something w//I always be of?” for
you unless you set /t straight.

And maybe this thing happened to you
just to give you a chance to do that.

Nonsense, and you
wanna know why?

Anybody here who's interested in what
Melvin has to say raise their hand.

♪ We met a year ago
in a place called Baltimore ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoay

, M wonder, wonder, wondery

♪ Where did m y g/'r/ go ♪ Do you want
to know what happened with my parents?

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoaj Yes.

When I was a kid-
Wait, wait: Wait.

I'm gonna pull over,
give you my full attention.

J.” [Sto/as]

[Simon] Well, I always painted, and
my mother always encouraged it.

I mean, she was really sort of-She was
sort of fabulous about it actually.

And she used to-

You know, I was too young to think
there was anything wrong with it,

and she was-
she was very natural.

So she used
to pose nude for me.

Ana' I always thought-or/ guess
/assumeo'- that my father knew about it.

This stuff is pointless. Hey!
Let him finish, please.

You like sad stories? You
wanna hear mine? Stop.

Go ahead. Really, please
don't let him stop you.

Um, one day he Wal/(ed in.
Ana' /7e found us, ana' he just-

He started screaming-My låt/rer d/'dn
't come out of /7/5 room for I I years.

He used to hit me on the hands with
a yardstick if I made a mistake...

play/ng the piano.

Huh?

Go ahead, Simon.

So, you said he came in your
room, and he was yelling?

Uh-huh. Please, come on.

Um, he was, om-Come on.

Yeah, I know-He was-I was-

I remember I was defending my mother,
and I was trying to, you know,

make peace in the lamest way.

"I said-I said,
“She's not naked. It's art."

[Laughs]

And he started hitting me,

ana' he... beat me unconsc/ous.

And he talked to me
less and less after that.

I mean, he knew what I was
before I did.

Ana' t/7e mom/ng
that I leñ* for college,

he wa/kea' into my room.

Ana' /7e held out /7/'5 hand.

And it was filled with money.

A big... sweaty wad of money.

"And he said, “I don't want you
to ever come back."

And I just grabbed him,
and I hugged him,

and he turned and walked out.

HeJ/, we a/I ha ve these terrible
stor/es to get over, and you-

That's not true.
Some of us ha ve great stor/es,

pretty stories, that tal 01:29:30,863
and friends and noodle salad.

Just no one in this car. But a lot
of people-that's their story.

Good times. Noodle salad.

What makes /t 50 hard /3 not that you had
/t baai but that you're that p/kseaf..

That so many others
had it good.

- No, I don't think so.
- Not it at all, really.

Not it atall, huh?

Okay.

Let's, uh, go
to the hotel, and, uh,

tomorrow you'll see if you can get another
big wad of sweaty money out of his hand.

[Grunts]

[Su/? Case Papp/hg] Can I ask
you a personal question?

[Laughing] Sure.

You ever get an erection
over a woman?

- Melvin-
- I mean, wouldn't your life be easier if you weren't-

You consider your life easy?

All right. I give you that one.

[Exhales]

Nice packing.

Whoa.

[Spencer Breathing Heavily
On Telephone Line] Hi.

Hey, Spence! Hey, Mom.

Wait till you hear.

Why are you out of breath? Mom, I
ran over a guy and scored a goal.

You did? Yep, he was big.
Charlie, you know!

That's great! Yep, amazing.

Oh, my God, right? Yeah.

Mom, we're playing again.
Gotta go. No, no-

Bye. Wait, waitjust
tell me-[Sighs]

Uh!

[Beverly] He scored a goal.
Mom, I don't believe it.

Oh, you would've died.
[Laughing] Yeah.

My son was outside
playing soccer.

Come on. Take me out
fara good t/me.

- Take me out dancing.
- Dancing?

[Me/vin Clear: Throat]
I can't. I'm exhausted.

Oh, come on. No.

Please, come on. Oh, come on.
No. No.

All right. All right.
You're right. Yeah.

Are you sad or something?
No. No, no.

I'm nervous.

/t would be very rough,
Carol, /fyou weren? Along.

- What a nice compliment.
- [ Chuckles]

I'm happy-

And you're my date.

I ez“5 get dressed.

Uh, om, uh-

I'm gonnajump in the shower.
Okay!

I'll be right with you. Okay!

Uh-

[Shower Running]

[ WaterSt/I/ Running]
♪♪ [Me/v/n Wh/.ct//ng ]

[5/70wer5t0p5]

All set?

Yeah.

[Man] Mr. and Mrs.- [Me/Vin ]
Do you se/I hard-Shell crabs?

[Man ♪2] Yes. [Me/I//h ]
Do they sell hard-shells?

[ Woman] Yes. [Me/vin ] Do they?

[Customers Chattering,
Laughing]

[Melvin] Do they sell hard-shells?
[Man ♪3 ] Yes.

[ Melvin ] Excuse. Thank you. ♪♪
[ I ounge Singer, /nd/kt/hct]

- Good evening.
- Hi. You have hard-shells, right?

Stop asking everyone. Just him.
That's all.

Okay, you can answer.
We worked it out.

- Yes, we do.
- Ah.

- Oh, and, uh, I can give you a tie andjacket.
- What?

Oh, they require a tie andjacket,
but we have some available.

♪♪ [ L ounge Singer C ont/nues,
/nd/'st/'nct ]

Sir?

No, I'm not putting that on.

In case you were gonna ask, I'm also not going
to let you inject me with the plague, either.

It's such a n/'ce place. You probably ha ve
these d/y-c/eanea' all the time, don't you?

Actually, I don't think so.

Uh, well-

you just, uh, wait here.

Excuse me. Thank you. Excuse me.

[ Woman] Excuse me. Sony.

[Tires Squealing]

Good evening.

Uh, I need a coat and tie.
Well, come on in.

No.

No?

- Uh, that one.
- This one?

That one, yeah, and this tie.

[Patrons Chattering]

Excuse me.

♪♪ [ L ounge Singer, /nd/'st/hct ]

She's here.

We saved a table for you.
Oh, thanks.

Should I get her for you?

No, it's all right.
I'll, uh-I'll just watch.

F w H12/ Oman J.

Mm-hmm. Can I buy you a drink?

Oh, this is plenty.
No, thank you.

♪ Only thought was only
in my dreams ♪

_/* only.”

J Only love ♪

♪ It's mine on/yy

J My only man ♪

J My only /OVEJ

.MW ana/J

♪ Soon, every kiss of yours
W/'l/ be ♪

♪ /I/I/he, all mine ♪

- ♪ You formey.
- Ma'am?

, rForeve/*morey Hmm? Oh.

Oh, wait.

J My only man My only one ♪

[ Mouthing Words] *JMJ/O/?ÃVJ.

J My only man ♪

J My only /OVEJ

.MW ana/J

♪ There was a time
that //fe was good ♪

♪ But on/y b y myself But the /ove
/found with you There was no one e/5e ♪

♪♪ [ Continues ]
You look so se-

You look, uh, great.

You look great.

♪ Only /0 ve My on/yy

J My only man ♪

,rMy on/y/ovejy
You wanna dance?

Well, I've been thinking about that
since you brought it up before.

- And?
- No.

I don't get this place.
They make me buy a new outfit,

and they let you in
in a housedress.

I don't get it.

What? Wait, wait.
No, wait. What?

Where you going?
No, WhyPI mean, /-

Uh-

I didn't mean it that way.
I mean, you gotta sit down.

You can still give me the dirty look,
just sit down and give it to me.

Pay me a compliment, Melvin.
I need one. Quicl<.

You have no idea how much what
you just said hurt my feelings.

The mono-minute someone gets that they
need you, they threaten to walk out.

A compliment is something nice
about somebody else.

- [Smger] Th/k /5 a request from june-
- Now or never.

O ka y. HappyAnn/'versa/y

[A ud/'en ce A pp/a ud; Cheers]
♪♪ [Sia/ts Up, /nd/kt/hct]

I mean it.

Can we order first?

Okay. U m-

[Shouüng] Two hard-shell crab dinners!
Pitcher ice-cold beer!

- Uh, baked or fries?
- [Whispering] Fñes.

Fñes.

Fñes One bal 01:39:15,489
[ Walter]
I '// te/I your wa/'te/t/.

My waiter. Okay, now.

I got a real great compliment
for you, and it's true.

I'm so afraid you're about
to say something awful.

Don't be pessimistic.
It's not your style.

Okay, here I go.

Clearly a mistake.

I've got this, what, ailment.

My doctor, a shrink
that I used to go to all the time,

he says that in 50 or
60 percent of the cases,

a pill really helps.

I hate pills.

Very dangerous thing, pills.

"Hate. I'm using the word
“hate" here about pills. Hate.

My compliment is, that night when you came
over and told me that you would never-

- [ Groans]
- Um, all right.

Well, you were there.
You-You know what you said.

Well, my compliment to you is,

the next morning
I started taking the pills.

I don't quite get how
that's a compliment for me.

You make me want
to be a better man.

That's maybe the best compliment
of my life.

Well, maybe I overshot a little,
because I was aiming...

atjust enough to keep you
from walking out.

[Laughing]

[Exhales]

How's it goin'
with those pills?

Good, I hope, I hope, I hope.
[Chuckles]

Well, it's, uh-

it's little by little.

It's-It's exhausting
talking like this.

Exhaust/ng

[5/g/75, Groans ]

Do you ever let a romantic moment make
you do something you know is stupid?

Never.

Here's the trouble with never.

[Laughs]

You don't owe me that.

That wasn't a payment.

When you first came
into breakfast,

when I first saw you,
I thought you were handsome.

Then, of course, you spoke.

So, now that your soft, little
underbelly's all exposed,

tell me, why did you
bring me here?

Why,

it's a-

a personal question.

Tell me, even if you're scared.
Scared?

T-Tell me why
you wanted me here.

It's ol 01:43:27,407
If you ask me, I'll say yes.

Well, I-

I- I know, I-

There's a lot of reasons.

I thought, maybe if you had sex
with Simon, maybe it would-What?

Well, it's-just one-It's one idea.
That's why you brought me?

Like I'm a... What:
Ana' I owe you what?

I don't know why
I brought you. I-I-

It was just one thought that I had. It came out first.
That was all there was to it.

I thought you kiss him-me-
when you two seemed to hit it off.

Wait, no! Wait, wait.
That's-Uh, I didn't mean-

Forget what I said about Simon.
I'll never forget you said it.

It's a mistake.

/t was a mista/m.

[Groans]

[Man On Answering Machine] Hello, this
is Fred Bishop-[Woman] And Betty.

Sorry to be unable to take your call. Please
leave a message with all pertinent information.

"Say “good-bye." Oh, good-bye.

And thank you. [Machine Beeps]

Uh, it-it, it's Simon.

I'm in town.

Hello?

Folks, you haven't been out later
than 10:00 in your entire lives.

Please pick up the phone.

Really!

Okay, well, I'm gonna try you in the morning.
I need to, uh, see you,

or at least get you
to answer the phone.

How are ya?

Is this gonna be your room?
Ourroom.

I don't wanna see /7/n7, ana' /7e 3
not gonna come knock/n ' on your door.

What happened?

Don't ask. Oh!

Can you not be so violent?
I don't think so.

Do you need help-No!

I'm taking a big bath and
ordering a big meal. Uh-huh.

I'm sorry. Are you okay?

[Sighs] Don't ask. I'm tired of my own complaints.
I gotta get some new thoughts.

- Why? What are you thinking about?
- How to die, mostly.

"Can you believe in our little
mix you're the “good" roommate?

[Grunts]

Good night. Gooo' night.

[Groans]

[ Water Running ]

[Whispering] Hold it.

[ C //C/(s Switch ]

- I have to draw you.
- Huh?

I have to draw you.

No, no, no. Absolutely not. I'm a
lot more shy than people thinl<.

Igweoñ the wrong
impression-/ have to.

- I haven't sketched anything in weel 01:47:40,910
But you're beautiful, Carol.

Yours/dn, your long nec/ç

the back, the //ne of you-

You're why cavemen
chiseled on walls.

[Laughs]
All right, cut me a breal<.

[ Tums Water On]

[Chuckles]

[ Me/v/'n ] 7'he next thing / /

Well, it's not right to go
into details / got nen/aus.

/... scre Wed up.
Isa/a' the wrong thing

[Exhales]

Where if I hadn't, I-

I could be in bed right now
with a woman who if...

you make her laugh
you got a life.

Instead, I'm here with you.

No offense, but a moron
pushing the last legal drug.

[ I Groans ]

Jameson, soda back.

[Laugh/ng]

I'm sorry. I don't
care how you put this.

We 're be/n 'naughty here, pal.

No, no, this is-this is great.

This is so great.

I swear to God, my hand
won't even keep up.

Hold it. Hold it.
I 'm just turn/ng.

But then hold that. Hold any of them.
Okay this?

It doesn't matter. I can't get over
my hand's not even bothering me.

I can't-I just-I-

I can't get the angle
with this-this cast.

0/7! 0/7, carefu/I
[Panting, Screaming]

- [ChucHes]
- [Laughs]

[Exhales]

I'm comin' in. It's late.

Did you have sex with her?

Okay 50 are you sure you don't
want your shampoos or anything?

Sorry.

I didn't know
she was still here.

Did you have sex with her?
To /7e// with sex!

It was better than sex.
We held each other.

What I need he gave me, great.

I'll get dressed in a hurry.

[Chuckles]

I just love her.

How you doin'?

[Disgusted Sigh]

[Phone Ringing] [Woman] Hello?

Mom? HL Hello, Simon.

[Whispering] You were right.
We were home last night.

Do you have to whisper? I can barely hearyou.
I'm not a screamer. Look-

No, no, no, no. It was the luckiest
thing for all of us you didn't answer.

Your father has not been feeling well.
I can't hear you!

H0/0' on. Ho/a' for what?
What do you gotta do?

I get why you're angry
with me, but it's no-

5/7/7/ He '5 talk/ng to /7/5 parents.
Then you listen to me.

Truly, no grudges.
Okay? Tru ly.

I mean, it was a little odd that you didn't
come and see me when you heard I was hurt-

We almost did. I don't even
wanna talk about it. I-

The important thing is that your son is happy.
You do sound different.

Yes, I'm working again-
Good. About money-

No, I don't need anything. Oh.

I'll drop you a line
from wherever I land,

and then it's up to you to make
the next move, and I hope you do.

Then /7e 3 gonna wanna stay. Ana' they'll
wanna take a ride to the /a/(e or wnate ver-

Okay. Bye-bye. He '5
gonna fee/ st/rrea' up.

Bye, dear. Bye, Mom.

So, we'll probably have
a good five-hour drive.

It'll give us a chance to relax...
So?

Be together alone-
I'm coming with you.

- What about your parents?
- No, no, no. I'll take care of myself.

What are you talkin' about?
You got real problems.

I know.
I'm a little bit nervous.

Suddenly, everything
seems so easy.

Carol, a load has been lifted.

[Sighs] One night with me.
You think you're I 01:52:42,545
[Door C /05e5 ]

[Melvin] Aw, geez. No choice.

I got a gift for you. Nothing /I/(e
no choice to make you feel at home.

Let me see.

Ahh. Gorgeous.

Do it then. And get the dog picked up.
I can't believe you let it stay there.

Good-bye. Your luck's runnin'.

They sublet your place.
You're homeless.

Frank's got a line on another
place you can use for now.

Another place where?
Does it matter?

No.

/t doesn't

I'm fine. Like the hat?

[Laughs] -[Laughs] I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

[ Carol [aug/vs ]

J.” [Piano]

, M love you.”

♪ /-'or sent/mental reasons ♪

I don't wanna hear
that music right now.

What do you mean? You
said you liked it. Idon%.

, Mhopeyou do believe mej
This one has a meaning.

Well, /t 3 your car, but I don't
wanna near/t, /fthat means anything!

♪♪ [ I/o/ume /ncreases ]

, M loveyouJf.

J.” [Sto/as]

[Me/Vin ] Yes, 5/7: Al/ right.

Here'5 the, u/7- Here '5
the keys to my apartment.

You-You go up there and wait, and
I'm gonna take Carol home. Wait, uh-

I'll take a bus.

No, no, I'll take ya.

Can you, uh-Can you come here?

Look, I don't care what you did for me.
I-What's wrong?

I don't think
I wanna know you anymore.

All you do is make me
feel bad about myself.

You have my number.

Let him take you home.

Don't want to.

I love you. Love you too.

Don't say anything.

Yeah, look, I gotta get a hold of Frank
and see where I'm hangin' my hat.

Well, I think you're gonna
have to camp it here.

What are you talking about?
Oh, look. Wa-hoo!

Look at you, sweetheart. Look at you.
Come here.

Look at you, sweetheart.
Look at Verdell!

You feel like your old self again.
I know the feeling.

Mommy and Daddy are home.

Sorry. You'rejust
fun to mess with.

Okay.

They rented your place
furnished.

Jackie said she was gonna
bring your personal things.

They were gonna set you up in here.
It's an extra room. I never use it.

It's got good //ghzâ No other
choice really. [Bark/ng ]

I'm Com/ni I'm Com/ni.

Well, this is, uh, om, nice.

/z“5, U/I-
[00/(5 good They, uh-

The y got your mus/c,

pa/nt/hgs, pa/hts.

I'd/rave to say
they d/'da good job.

It's, uh-

You know, it's gonna
be 0l 01:57:00,215
Cozy, hu/I? Yeah.

[Sighs] Thank you, Melvin.

You overwhelm me.

[Sighs]

I love you.

I tell ya, buddy,

I'd be the luckiest guy alive
if that did it for me.

Well, let's, uh, om-

Make yourself at home.

Anything else in the bag?

But I was playing soccer
while you were away! I know.

I love my cookbook!

It's great. It's got all
these wonderful recipes in here.

It says something with a sharl<.
I never even fixed shark before.

Shark W/f/I a lyfte, would you
/I/(e that, Spencer? N o.

There '5 some cookies here
called "Was/af Nests. "

[Me/vin Groans]

[ Simon ] Where /3 my b/g hal/y boy?
Where /5 he?

Where /5 my beautiful bo y?
Sweetheart?

Oh! You're in bed.

No. No.

Yeah, om-Melvin.

I just didn't think Verdell
should get too comfortable...

sleep/ng in here 'cause it's
rea/lv not gonna-Well, look.

- The dog's already comfortable.
- [ Phone Ring/ng]

Um, is this okay?

Huh?

Hel/o? H1; It's me. H17.

Yes! He took me in.

Yes. It's Carol for you.

- /bas/'ca//J/ /â/hted when /- / wa/kea' in andjac/(iøe had-
- Just take the dog.

Take the dog! I gotta go.

Just tal 01:59:11,850
That's right. Take him.

Come on. Move fast.
[Makes Kissing Sound]

Don't limp. Move fast.
Come on. Good lucl<.

[Moans]

[Clears Throat Loudly]

Hello?

Yeah. How you doin'?

Not so hot. Why? What's wrong?

I don't know whether I'm being
sensible or hard on you.

Maybe both. Maybe.

See? Right there I don't know whether
you're being cute or crazy now.

- Cute.
- You don't have to answer everything I say!

Just listen to me, okay?
Listen to me.

It's really something that
you're looking after Simon.

And what I said on the street,
that was a bad thing to say.

It made me sick to my stomach.
It was a bad thing to say.

And I'd be lying if I didn't say
I... enjoy your company.

But the truth is
you do bother me enormously.

And I know that-
think that it's-

I think that it's better for me to not have
contact with you because you're not ready.

And you're a pretty old guy to not be
ready, and I'm too old to ignore that!

But there were extraordinary
kindnesses that did take place.

[ Chuckles] So, anwvay,
thanks for the trip.

Good night. Good night.

Okay if I say somethin' now?

Go ahead.

I should've danced with you.

[Grunts]

Good night.

Good night.

[Dial Tone Humming]

[Shouüng] Are you gonna
tall< to me or not?

- I'm coming.
- [ Grumbling]

[Disgusted Groaning]

What'd she say?

That I'm a great guy,
extraordinary,

and she doesn't want
contact with me!

I'm dyin' here.

Because... you love her.

No.

And you people are supposed
to be sensitive and sharp?

"Then you tell me why! You're
the one who's “dyin g here."

- I don't know. Let me sleep on it.
- Oh, come on!

- I'll figure it out.
- Oh, please.

It's, uh-[Stammering]

I'm stuck. I can't get
back to my own life.

She's evicted me from my life.

Did you really like it
that much?

Well, it's better than this.
Look, you.

I'm very intelligent. If you're gonna give me
hope, you gotta do better than you're doing.

/f you can't be at least mildly
/hterest/hg then shut the hel/ up!

I mean, I'm drowning here,
and you're describing the water!

Well, picking on me won't help!

Well, if that's true,
I'm really in trouble.

But-Melvin, do, do you know
where you're lucky?

You know who you want.

I would take your Seat any day.

So, so, do something about it!
[Scoffs]

Go over there, now, tonight!
Don't sleep on it.

I mean, it's not always good
to let things calm down.

You can do this, Melvin.
You can do this.

You can. Pull the stops. Tell her how you feel.
You can do this.

Hey, I'm, I'm,
I'm charged here.

Yes, you are! She might
kill me if I go over there.

Well, then get in yourjammies
and I'll read you a story!

I really think
you have a chance here.

The best thing you have going for you is
your willingness to humiliate yourself.

So, go over there. Do this.
Catch her off guard.

Okay. OI 02:04:13,569
Thanks a lot. OI 02:04:18,570
Here I go.

What's wrong?

- I forgot to lock the door.
- Huh.

[Doorbell Buzz/ng ]

[Door Buzzer Sound/ng ]
[ Gasps]

- [Door Closes]
- [Groans]

- What do you want, Melvin?
- I'm sorry I woke you. Some other time-

I wasn't asleep.

What a breal<.

Is it a secret
what you're doing here?

[Sighs] I had to see you.

Because?

[Sighs] It relaxes me.
[Chuckles]

I'd feel better sitting outside
your apartment on the curb...

than any other place
I can think ofor imagine.

No, no, wait.
That's-That's overstating.

I'd ra ther be .vit/hg
/hs/'de on the steps,

'cause I don't wanna get
my feet in the gutter.

What would that sen/e? Stop it!

Why can't I just have
a normal boyfriend? Why?

Just a regular boyfriend
who doesn't go nuts on me?

Everybody wants that, dear.
It doesn't exist.

Uh-

Oh, I'm, I'm sorry.

I d/'dn 't mean to /hterrupt.

Boyfriend.

Come on in, and try not to
ruin everything by being you.

Maybe we could live
without the wisecracl 02:07:36,559
Maybe we could.

/t fee/s a //tt/e conñneo'
in here. I et? Take a wa//c.

See, it's 4:00 in the morning.
A walk sounds a little screwy to me,

if you don't mind.

Well, if you need an excuse, uh,

there's a bal 02:08:26,655
We got a good shot it'll be open soon.
That way we're not screwy.

Just... two people
that like warm rolls.

Okay.

♪ ♪ [ Melvin Humming]

What are you doing?

I still want you to hear
part of that car song.

You don't have to.
♪♪ [ Resumes]

♪ ♪ [Whistling]

JAnd darling I'm never lonelyg*

J*Whenever you're in sight ♪ ♪

Thank you. [Chuckles]

You know, I was hop-

I'm sorry. Whatever this is
is not gonna worl<.

[Muttering] I'm feeling-What?

I've been feel-

I'm feeling better, Carol.
Melvin.

Even though it may seem
that way now,

you don't know me
all that well.

I'm not the answer for you.

Hey, I've got a great
compliment for you.

You-You know what. I-I-

Jujujujuju-Just let
me-let me talk.

JUSL

I might be the only person
on the face of the Earth...

that knows you're
the greatest woman on Earth.

I m/ght be the only one...
[ Chuckles ]

W/70 apprec/a tes /70w amazing you are
in every s/hg/e thing that you do.

And how you are
with Spencer-Spence.

Ana' /n eve/ys/ng/e thought
that you have...

and how you say what you mean and how
you almost always mean something...

that's all about
being straight and good.

Ana' /- / t/7/'n/< most
people m/ks that about you.

And/ watch them, wonder/ng how they
can watch you bring the/r fooo'...

and cleartheir tables and never get that
they just met the greatest woman alive.

Ana' the Iâct that /get it...

makes me feel good...

about me.

[ C hack/es ]

Is that something that's bad
for you to be around-for you?

No.

[Chuckles]

I'm gonna grab you.

[Laughing]

I d/'dn 't mean for that to be a question.
I'm gonna grab you.

I know I can do better
than that.

Oh, Mel-

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

Better. Definitely better.

[Chuckling]

See?

Oh! What's this?

Warm rolls. [Chuckles]

Scusatem/I [ Both] Excuse us.

[M I-Ahhegvln]

[Man], WA/ways look on the
br/g/n* side of //fe ♪

.Ut Wh/st//hgj

, WA/ways look on
the br/ght side of //fe ♪

.Ut Wh/st//hgj.

♪ Some things in //fe are bad
They can rea/lv make you maa' ♪

♪ Other things just ma/(e you
swear and Curse ♪

♪ When you're chew/hg
on //fe 3 gr/'st/e ♪

♪ Don't grumble
Give a Whistle ♪

♪ Th/k '// help things turn out
for the basta

, WA/ways look on
the br/ght side of //fe ♪

.Ut Wh/st//hgj

, WA/ways /00/< on
the r/;Ght side of //fe ♪

.Ut Wh/st//hgj

♪ /f //fe seems jo//y ratten
There '5 samer/mg you've forgotten ♪

;And that's to /augh ana' smile
ana' dance ana' sing ♪

♪ When you're fee/mg in the dumps
Don't be s/'l/y C/7U/77p5 ♪

♪ just purse your //ps ana' Whistle
That's the thing ♪

♪ 50 always /00/< on
the br/ght side of //fe ♪

.Ut Wh/st//hgj

, WA/ways look on
the br/ght side of //fe ♪

.Ut Wh/st//hgj.

♪ I /fe '5 a coun terfe/'t
when you /00/( at /t ♪

♪ Life '5 a /aug/r ana' death '5 thejo/(e
It's true ♪

♪ You see, itä a/I a show
Keep them /augh/hg as you go ♪

, Pjust remember
the last /aug/v /3 on youy

[Men '5 Chorus], PA/ways /00/<
on the br/;Ght side of //fe ♪

.Ut Wh/st//hgj

, WA/ways /00/< on
the r/;Ght side of //fe ♪

.Ut Wh/st//hgj

, WA/ways look on
the br/ght side of //fe ♪

.Ut Wh/st//hgj

, WA/ways /00/< on
the r/;Ght side of //fe ♪

.Ut Wh/st//hgj.

[JJ/Ends]

[Man]
♪ I think of you every mom/ng ♪

♪ Dream of you every n/ghty

♪ Darling, I'm ne ver /one/yy

♪ Whene ver you are in s/ghtjy