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1
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:16,600
[classical music]
2
00:00:16,700 --> 00:00:19,833
I can hear you breathing.
Please stop.
3
00:00:22,467 --> 00:00:23,767
Eggs Dauphine, my lady.
4
00:00:23,867 --> 00:00:27,400
Blanche, I said I wanted
scrambled eggs.
5
00:00:28,933 --> 00:00:32,533
Blanche, you idiot!
You got egg upon my snood!
6
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:34,167
He was going to
wear that today!
7
00:00:34,267 --> 00:00:37,067
Now he has to select
another snood!
8
00:00:37,167 --> 00:00:38,467
I'm Lillian.
9
00:00:38,567 --> 00:00:40,633
I'm the pretty, smart,
funny, ambitious,
10
00:00:40,733 --> 00:00:43,633
nice body,
soon-to-be famous one.
11
00:00:43,733 --> 00:00:47,600
And I'm Beatrice.
I'm the pretty one.
12
00:00:48,933 --> 00:00:51,033
Sir, telegram for you,
Lady Beatrice.
13
00:00:51,133 --> 00:00:52,833
Ooh!
14
00:00:52,933 --> 00:00:54,867
[clears throat]
15
00:00:54,967 --> 00:00:57,767
Oh. Mm.
16
00:00:57,867 --> 00:00:59,800
[sighs]
17
00:00:59,900 --> 00:01:00,933
What does it say?
18
00:01:01,067 --> 00:01:02,300
I don't know how to read.
19
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:05,900
Right.
20
00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:09,767
Oh, Darling, your friends,
the Claudette Sisters?
21
00:01:09,867 --> 00:01:11,200
They've passed.
22
00:01:11,300 --> 00:01:12,867
[gasps]
23
00:01:12,967 --> 00:01:14,800
Our best friends died!
24
00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:16,133
Finally!
25
00:01:16,233 --> 00:01:17,600
The Claudette sisters'
passing means
26
00:01:17,700 --> 00:01:19,600
there's 2 spots open
in the Newport 400--
27
00:01:19,700 --> 00:01:22,700
the 400 most important
white people in all of America.
28
00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,833
And I know who's
going to fill them.
29
00:01:24,933 --> 00:01:26,600
Who?
30
00:01:26,700 --> 00:01:28,300
Us.
31
00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:29,400
Well, I'd like to
propose a toast
32
00:01:29,500 --> 00:01:30,467
to the death of
our social rivals.
33
00:01:30,567 --> 00:01:32,067
To the Claudette sisters!
34
00:01:32,167 --> 00:01:35,267
And to tuberculosis for taking
their lives at such a young age.
35
00:01:35,367 --> 00:01:36,633
- Yes!
- [laughter]
36
00:01:36,733 --> 00:01:39,367
Mm.
37
00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:41,633
This is disgusting!
38
00:01:41,733 --> 00:01:43,933
(man)
* I want the money,
I want the fame *
39
00:01:44,067 --> 00:01:46,467
* I want the whole world
to know my name *
40
00:01:46,567 --> 00:01:48,733
* This is mine, I gotta get it
41
00:01:48,833 --> 00:01:51,333
* I got to get it,
got, got to get it *
42
00:01:51,433 --> 00:01:54,700
* Another period
43
00:01:56,900 --> 00:01:58,533
[classical music]
44
00:01:58,633 --> 00:02:01,533
(Lillian)
Tonight's a very big night
and we have to look our best
45
00:02:01,633 --> 00:02:03,500
because the head
of the Newport 400,
46
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,133
the Marquis de Sainsbury is
coming to meet us.
47
00:02:06,233 --> 00:02:09,733
He alone decides whether we will
finally make it into society.
48
00:02:09,833 --> 00:02:12,433
And when he arrives we'll prove
we're the very definition
49
00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:15,167
of class and distinction.
50
00:02:15,267 --> 00:02:16,767
Hello.
51
00:02:16,867 --> 00:02:20,700
(Peepers)
I want those peacocks' teeth
brushed.
52
00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:22,500
What is this? What are you?
53
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,433
We don't allow street urchins
in this home.
54
00:02:24,533 --> 00:02:26,567
Sir, I'm the new servant girl,
Celine.
55
00:02:26,667 --> 00:02:29,067
Servant girl?
You smell of chicken gizzards.
56
00:02:29,167 --> 00:02:31,233
Why are you dawdling?
We're on a very tight schedule
57
00:02:31,333 --> 00:02:32,867
as we have
an important guest arriving.
58
00:02:32,967 --> 00:02:35,833
Now, some of your duties will
include winding the clock,
59
00:02:35,933 --> 00:02:40,133
exercising the swans,
bloodletting, ghost removal.
60
00:02:40,233 --> 00:02:41,800
I am Mr. Peepers.
61
00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:43,900
I am head butler to
the illustrious Bellacourts.
62
00:02:44,067 --> 00:02:47,500
They are, of course, the family
of the great magnet magnate,
63
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:51,133
Commodore Bellacourt
and his lovely wife Dodo.
64
00:02:51,233 --> 00:02:55,600
Yogurt spoon, pudding spoon,
fish fork, crab tong.
65
00:02:55,700 --> 00:02:57,633
Yogurt spoon, pudding spoon,
66
00:02:57,733 --> 00:03:00,633
fish fork, crab tong.
Yogurt spoon.
67
00:03:00,733 --> 00:03:03,233
- Blanche!
- [screams]
68
00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:06,467
[cries]
69
00:03:06,567 --> 00:03:09,067
This is Blanche's first week
back from the asylum.
70
00:03:09,133 --> 00:03:11,533
Some people think
she's dangerous,
71
00:03:11,633 --> 00:03:14,300
but the only person she's
likely to harm is herself.
72
00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:17,867
We have a lot of fun
with her.
73
00:03:17,967 --> 00:03:20,467
(Blanche)
I have been diagnosed with
hysteria.
74
00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:21,867
And because of that,
75
00:03:21,967 --> 00:03:24,200
the state made Mr. Peepers
my legal guardian.
76
00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:25,967
Which basically means he can
throw me in the nuthouse
77
00:03:26,067 --> 00:03:29,067
just because
he goddamn feels like it.
78
00:03:29,133 --> 00:03:32,867
Frederick, when are you
going to take a wife?
79
00:03:32,967 --> 00:03:34,900
Mother, I'm in love
with someone.
80
00:03:35,067 --> 00:03:39,233
Well, what's that
got to do with anything?
81
00:03:39,333 --> 00:03:40,600
Good morning.
82
00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:42,867
Hello, I am Frederick.
83
00:03:42,967 --> 00:03:44,433
Yes, I know, sir.
84
00:03:44,533 --> 00:03:47,133
I've been taking care of you
since you were born.
85
00:03:47,233 --> 00:03:50,300
What is that?
86
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:52,233
I'm sorry you had to see
this poor person
87
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:53,767
in street clothes, Madam.
88
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:56,500
Luella hurled herself
from the balcony.
89
00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:59,367
This is her replacement.
90
00:03:59,467 --> 00:04:01,667
Servant, what is your name?
91
00:04:01,767 --> 00:04:02,967
My name is Celine, Madam.
92
00:04:03,067 --> 00:04:04,367
[laughs]
93
00:04:04,467 --> 00:04:07,867
That's not a servant's name.
You should be called Barb.
94
00:04:07,967 --> 00:04:12,533
Oh no, dear, that won't do.
I had that cat named Barb.
95
00:04:12,633 --> 00:04:15,133
Ooh, I know!
You should be called Chair.
96
00:04:15,233 --> 00:04:18,867
Beatrice, that's
a wonderful idea.
97
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:22,633
Servant, your name is Chair now.
98
00:04:24,333 --> 00:04:26,600
Chair, meet Mayor Cutie.
99
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:30,633
Shake her hand, Chair.
100
00:04:35,433 --> 00:04:38,200
You're welcome.
101
00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:44,967
Thank God
we're finally alone.
102
00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:48,067
Yes, finally. Just you
and I and no one else around.
103
00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:51,467
Not a soul in the world
but you and I.
104
00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:56,100
Oh, Frederick,
why can't we be married?
105
00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:57,600
Because you're my sister.
106
00:04:57,700 --> 00:04:59,567
Oh, applesauce.
107
00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:02,233
Oh God, it turns me on
when you say that word.
108
00:05:02,333 --> 00:05:05,400
I want you now, right here.
109
00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:10,067
Yes, Frederick.
110
00:05:10,100 --> 00:05:12,100
Undress for me.
111
00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:13,100
Yes.
112
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,467
Yes.
113
00:05:15,567 --> 00:05:19,900
Whew.
114
00:05:20,067 --> 00:05:22,467
Slower.
115
00:05:22,567 --> 00:05:24,633
Oh, just a few more minutes.
116
00:05:24,733 --> 00:05:27,433
Oh, my goodness,
in a few more minutes,
117
00:05:27,533 --> 00:05:31,133
you will be mine.
118
00:05:31,233 --> 00:05:34,500
Yes.
119
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,533
There you are.
120
00:05:37,967 --> 00:05:41,533
You ready for me right now?
121
00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:42,933
Mm-hmm. Yes, Frederick.
122
00:05:43,067 --> 00:05:44,067
Shall I?
123
00:05:44,100 --> 00:05:47,133
Yes.
124
00:05:48,567 --> 00:05:52,700
Here it comes.
125
00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:56,933
Oh, your body.
126
00:05:57,067 --> 00:05:58,333
Oh, God.
127
00:05:58,433 --> 00:06:00,833
Yes, yes.
128
00:06:00,933 --> 00:06:02,233
(Beatrice)
Almost ready?
129
00:06:02,333 --> 00:06:06,133
Almost ready.
130
00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:09,167
Yes.
131
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:14,633
(Beatrice)
Oh, yes.
132
00:06:14,733 --> 00:06:16,867
And this is your room.
133
00:06:16,967 --> 00:06:19,233
This is where you'll be living,
if you play your cards right,
134
00:06:19,333 --> 00:06:21,400
for the next 40 years.
Alone.
135
00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:22,633
[bell rings]
136
00:06:22,733 --> 00:06:23,967
My God, that's
the custard bell.
137
00:06:24,067 --> 00:06:26,600
When I return, I expect
you to be covered up.
138
00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:29,833
This isn't a bordello.
139
00:06:33,633 --> 00:06:36,267
Bald eagle
and toast points again?
140
00:06:36,367 --> 00:06:40,067
Yuck!
141
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:43,567
Hortense,
that's enough food for you.
142
00:06:43,667 --> 00:06:46,533
Lady Hortense
is my eldest daughter.
143
00:06:46,633 --> 00:06:48,867
She suffers from
a variety of ailments
144
00:06:48,967 --> 00:06:52,167
from photosensitivity
to thigh heft.
145
00:06:52,267 --> 00:06:56,800
One can only hope she'll live
a mercifully short life.
146
00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:58,367
I hope you plan on shaving
your mole
147
00:06:58,467 --> 00:07:00,800
for my induction into
the Newport 400 this evening.
148
00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:02,500
Oh, no, is that tonight?
149
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:04,933
I suppose I shouldn't have
invited my guests over then.
150
00:07:05,067 --> 00:07:07,167
Who did you invite?
You don't have any friends.
151
00:07:07,267 --> 00:07:08,567
Oh, no one.
152
00:07:08,667 --> 00:07:11,167
Just somebody I met in
the Women's Temperance League.
153
00:07:11,267 --> 00:07:14,200
Named Helen Keller.
154
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,067
What, are we supposed to know
who in the hell that is?
155
00:07:20,133 --> 00:07:22,567
Is she that gal that
can't smell?
156
00:07:22,667 --> 00:07:24,333
She's blind and deaf, you ninny.
157
00:07:24,433 --> 00:07:27,633
[laughs]
158
00:07:27,733 --> 00:07:29,200
Are you serious?
159
00:07:29,300 --> 00:07:31,800
You can't have poor people
at my party!
160
00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:33,867
Show some compassion, Lillian.
161
00:07:33,967 --> 00:07:36,933
Hore doesn't have anything else
to live for.
162
00:07:37,067 --> 00:07:38,767
My name is Hortense.
163
00:07:38,867 --> 00:07:41,267
Whatever, Hore, at least
our faces are symmetrical!
164
00:07:41,367 --> 00:07:42,900
Yeah, at least we don't wear
face windows!
165
00:07:43,067 --> 00:07:44,733
And at least we're not barren!
166
00:07:44,833 --> 00:07:47,300
[laughter]
167
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:50,100
I hope inviting the most
important woman in America over
168
00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:54,067
doesn't upstage my darling
sister on her big day.
169
00:07:57,567 --> 00:07:59,600
(man)
* Solid gold, solid gold, mofo
170
00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:01,367
* It's hot, baby
171
00:08:01,467 --> 00:08:04,067
We have swimming trunks,
a change for evening.
172
00:08:04,133 --> 00:08:06,500
This is going to be
wonderful.
173
00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:08,533
Where do you two
think you're going?
174
00:08:08,633 --> 00:08:10,500
Well, we're going off
to war, of course.
175
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,600
You can't go to war.
We're having a party.
176
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:15,733
Yeah, which war is it,
the poor people war?
177
00:08:15,833 --> 00:08:17,167
The one about the potato?
178
00:08:17,267 --> 00:08:18,900
I think it might be.
I know it's an important one
179
00:08:19,067 --> 00:08:20,333
- that we really must go to.
- Yes.
180
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:22,900
I let you leave through
all eight of my childbirths.
181
00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:25,467
You can't leave tonight. The
Marquis de Sainsbury is coming.
182
00:08:25,567 --> 00:08:27,167
What would I have done
during the labors?
183
00:08:27,267 --> 00:08:28,233
I would have just
gotten in the way.
184
00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:29,800
You think I wanted to be there?!
185
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:32,633
The marriage involves a dowry,
which is quite valuable.
186
00:08:32,733 --> 00:08:35,133
(Victor)
It's almost like
a prize that you get
187
00:08:35,233 --> 00:08:37,233
for enduring something horrible
188
00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:40,467
or something that makes you
want to throw up.
189
00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:43,467
[giggling]
190
00:08:43,567 --> 00:08:45,267
When you put two penises
side by side,
191
00:08:45,367 --> 00:08:49,400
that's called log stacking.
192
00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:51,333
(Peepers)
Now that the Bellacourts are fed
and ready,
193
00:08:51,433 --> 00:08:54,267
it is the servants' turn to eat
their single meal of the day.
194
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:57,500
This is what we call "All Meal."
195
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:05,133
So, Chair, are you having fun
on your first day?
196
00:09:05,233 --> 00:09:07,067
Just think, in 20 years,
you could be
197
00:09:07,133 --> 00:09:09,867
head assistant housemaid
like Blanche.
198
00:09:09,967 --> 00:09:12,067
That is, if Blanche
is dead by then.
199
00:09:12,167 --> 00:09:13,567
And if you ever need help
walking the peacocks
200
00:09:13,667 --> 00:09:17,067
or transporting the family
feces, just let me know, Chair.
201
00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:18,633
For God's sake,
my name isn't Chair.
202
00:09:18,733 --> 00:09:22,200
My mother named me Celine before
she died giving birth to me.
203
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:25,433
It was the only gift
she ever gave me.
204
00:09:25,533 --> 00:09:29,100
Boohoo! All our mothers
died in childbirth!
205
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:31,333
Do you think I was born Peepers?
206
00:09:31,433 --> 00:09:35,433
I was once known as Mitch.
A word of warning, Chair.
207
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:37,767
If you find yourself incapable
of doing your duties,
208
00:09:37,867 --> 00:09:40,600
you can hit the streets and
begin your new life as a beggar.
209
00:09:40,700 --> 00:09:43,267
Oh, Chair is much too pretty
to be a beggar.
210
00:09:43,367 --> 00:09:45,133
Thank you, Garfield.
211
00:09:45,233 --> 00:09:47,700
Oh, yes, she most definitely
would be a prostitute.
212
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:49,800
An expensive one, too.
213
00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:52,233
Yeah, she'd know how to do
all the weird stuff.
214
00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:55,400
I'm not going to die!
215
00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:58,200
People are living into
their 50s these days.
216
00:09:58,300 --> 00:10:00,533
And I'm not going to
be here either.
217
00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:03,733
I have dreams, you know.
Big dreams.
218
00:10:03,833 --> 00:10:05,233
No offense, Blanche,
219
00:10:05,333 --> 00:10:08,167
but I don't think you'd
make it as a prostitute.
220
00:10:08,267 --> 00:10:11,567
No. I'm going to work
in a factory.
221
00:10:11,667 --> 00:10:14,700
[laughter]
222
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:15,967
You? In a factory?
223
00:10:16,067 --> 00:10:18,233
With your face?
224
00:10:18,333 --> 00:10:20,033
Do you have some magic genie
225
00:10:20,133 --> 00:10:21,667
that we don't know about,
Blanche?
226
00:10:21,767 --> 00:10:23,367
You're a piece of shit.
227
00:10:23,467 --> 00:10:25,567
If you really want to make it
out of this house,
228
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:28,933
you need to use the only thing
a woman has going for her.
229
00:10:29,033 --> 00:10:31,267
Her piss flaps!
230
00:10:31,367 --> 00:10:33,267
[laughs]
231
00:10:33,367 --> 00:10:35,733
You know what I'm talking about,
right, Chair?
232
00:10:35,833 --> 00:10:37,433
[bell rings]
233
00:10:37,533 --> 00:10:40,600
All Meal is over. Stop eating.
Everyone upstairs.
234
00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:43,600
Garfield.
235
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:53,000
What the hell are
you doing here, Celine?
236
00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:56,500
My name is Chair now.
237
00:11:03,867 --> 00:11:06,800
[bell rings]
238
00:11:14,767 --> 00:11:17,733
[bell rings]
239
00:11:22,067 --> 00:11:25,200
[coughs]
240
00:11:26,667 --> 00:11:28,933
I'm full.
241
00:11:29,067 --> 00:11:30,367
Helen Keller is arriving!
242
00:11:30,467 --> 00:11:31,667
[laughs]
243
00:11:31,767 --> 00:11:32,933
- Hey!
- Garfield, come with me.
244
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:34,467
- Yes, Ma'am.
- No!
245
00:11:34,567 --> 00:11:36,733
You can't take my cheese man
during cheese time!
246
00:11:36,833 --> 00:11:39,633
[arguing indistinctly]
247
00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:42,633
Lillian Abigail
Hitler Smitherhorn Fish!
248
00:11:42,733 --> 00:11:45,633
You unhand that cheese man
this instant,
249
00:11:45,733 --> 00:11:47,900
or 2 of your 12 horses
will be put down!
250
00:11:48,067 --> 00:11:50,167
[gasps]
251
00:11:50,267 --> 00:11:51,500
[screams]
252
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:52,667
Now get dressed.
253
00:11:52,767 --> 00:11:56,133
Come to the foyer
and greet our guests.
254
00:11:58,733 --> 00:12:00,067
Hello?
255
00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:02,533
(Hortense)
Helen Keller is
coming to visit me!
256
00:12:02,633 --> 00:12:05,067
Oh, I haven't been this excited
since Lillian's birthday was
257
00:12:05,167 --> 00:12:08,433
the same day as the World's Fair
and nobody came to her party.
258
00:12:11,633 --> 00:12:14,833
Helen Keller and Annie Sullivan.
259
00:12:24,667 --> 00:12:25,900
Why is she doing that
with her hands?
260
00:12:26,067 --> 00:12:27,333
Is she an Italian?
261
00:12:27,433 --> 00:12:30,567
She's speaking and listening
with her hands.
262
00:12:33,567 --> 00:12:36,500
Wow.
263
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:39,533
She says hi.
264
00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:46,067
Beatrice, stop staring.
265
00:12:46,167 --> 00:12:47,700
What? Sorry, what?
266
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:51,567
You fell asleep with
your eyes open again.
267
00:12:51,667 --> 00:12:53,533
Helen would like to thank
Hortense for
268
00:12:53,633 --> 00:12:55,233
her financial contribution
269
00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:57,167
to our women's
suffragette movement.
270
00:12:57,267 --> 00:12:59,433
Oh.
271
00:12:59,533 --> 00:13:01,733
Well, to me suffrage
isn't--
272
00:13:01,833 --> 00:13:03,567
Haven't women suffered enough?
273
00:13:03,667 --> 00:13:06,200
I mean, we're already inferior
to men in every way.
274
00:13:06,300 --> 00:13:10,500
Lillian, suffrage is
the right to vote.
275
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:13,067
Vote! Would we
have to do it every day?
276
00:13:13,133 --> 00:13:15,067
If women can vote, who's next?
277
00:13:15,133 --> 00:13:18,167
Horses? Tulips? Beatrice?!
278
00:13:18,267 --> 00:13:19,300
[snores]
279
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:20,867
These people are absurd.
280
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:23,067
They can't make me vote.
281
00:13:23,100 --> 00:13:24,967
This is
the east morphine room.
282
00:13:25,067 --> 00:13:27,500
(Dodo)
Whilst my daughters were
socializing,
283
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,800
I decided to slip away
for a little me time.
284
00:13:29,900 --> 00:13:33,833
You are to give Lady Bellacourt
10 cc's of morphine exactly.
285
00:13:33,933 --> 00:13:37,533
Not a drop more or,
God forbid, a drop less.
286
00:13:37,633 --> 00:13:40,200
We need to achieve
the perfect balance
287
00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:44,300
between hallucination
and death.
288
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:45,900
Do you have a clean needle?
289
00:13:46,067 --> 00:13:47,433
(Peepers)
Oh, what's wrong with
this needle?
290
00:13:47,533 --> 00:13:49,067
It worked perfectly well
yesterday.
291
00:13:49,133 --> 00:13:51,333
Ah.
[spits]
292
00:13:51,433 --> 00:13:53,900
Oh, the pain!
293
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:55,333
The pain!
294
00:13:55,433 --> 00:13:58,833
Oh, quit your jibber jabbering
and prick her.
295
00:14:02,367 --> 00:14:04,133
[Dodo moans]
296
00:14:04,233 --> 00:14:07,267
My life is falling apart.
[groans]
297
00:14:07,367 --> 00:14:08,967
[sighs]
298
00:14:09,067 --> 00:14:12,667
I think my husband, the
Commodore, is having an affair.
299
00:14:13,933 --> 00:14:17,967
You have such lovely
alabaster skin, Chair.
300
00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:21,067
I wish I had skin like that.
301
00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:25,800
but Great Grand-no-no
sacked a Moorish village,
302
00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:27,100
and now I'm Latin.
303
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,100
Chair. Is that Welsh?
304
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:33,467
No, it's Chair, like a chair.
But my name.
305
00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:42,467
I don't get it.
Why wouldn't you want to see?
306
00:14:42,567 --> 00:14:44,400
I like seeing.
307
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:46,767
It's not that she doesn't want
to see, it's that she can't see.
308
00:14:46,867 --> 00:14:48,833
Well, is she looking
through her eyes?
309
00:14:48,933 --> 00:14:51,867
Go back to sleep.
310
00:14:53,067 --> 00:14:55,200
The Marquis de Sainsbury
has arrived.
311
00:14:55,300 --> 00:14:56,533
What? He's early!
312
00:14:56,633 --> 00:14:58,067
I haven't burned
my freckles off yet.
313
00:14:58,133 --> 00:15:01,200
Blanche, put a sheet
over the blind girl, now!
314
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:03,567
[screams]
315
00:15:03,667 --> 00:15:06,100
Hello. I can't tell you
how pleased I am to make
316
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,300
- your acquaintance, Marquis.
- Good morning, Your Highness.
317
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,367
I'm sorry that I'm early, but I
like to catch people off guard.
318
00:15:11,467 --> 00:15:13,700
I'm the great
Marquis de Sainsbury,
319
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:16,133
the arbiter of who's who
in Newport society.
320
00:15:16,233 --> 00:15:17,933
Now, with all this new money,
321
00:15:18,067 --> 00:15:19,800
it's my job to separate
the elite
322
00:15:19,900 --> 00:15:21,767
from the almost rich
vomit people.
323
00:15:21,867 --> 00:15:24,067
Good figs,
is that Helen Keller?
324
00:15:24,100 --> 00:15:25,567
- [cries]
- Why didn't you tell me
325
00:15:25,667 --> 00:15:28,633
you had the most famous woman
in America here?
326
00:15:28,733 --> 00:15:29,833
Her?!
327
00:15:29,933 --> 00:15:32,333
The great tragedy
is that you cannot see
328
00:15:32,433 --> 00:15:34,933
the magnificent beauty with
which God has bestowed you.
329
00:15:35,067 --> 00:15:37,133
Wait, you speak that
dumb hand language, too?
330
00:15:37,233 --> 00:15:39,567
I'm the Marquis de Sainsbury.
I speak all the languages.
331
00:15:39,667 --> 00:15:41,100
(Lillian)
I mean, how hard could it be?
332
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:42,867
It's just hands.
333
00:15:42,967 --> 00:15:43,933
[chuckles]
334
00:15:44,067 --> 00:15:44,867
I am wicked.
335
00:15:44,967 --> 00:15:47,733
[laughter]
336
00:15:47,833 --> 00:15:50,567
You are a wicked mute.
What are you doing?
337
00:15:50,667 --> 00:15:51,700
That's gibberish.
338
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:54,333
You're embarrassing yourself.
339
00:15:54,433 --> 00:15:56,167
(Lillian)
She stole my moment!
340
00:15:56,267 --> 00:15:58,067
When I get done with her,
being deaf and blind
341
00:15:58,133 --> 00:16:04,133
is gonna to be the least
of Helen Keller's problems.
342
00:16:04,233 --> 00:16:08,733
(man)
* 19 money,
Rockefeller, Rockefeller *
343
00:16:08,833 --> 00:16:10,967
Who's there?
344
00:16:11,067 --> 00:16:13,533
[laughter]
345
00:16:13,633 --> 00:16:15,967
Utterly charming.
346
00:16:16,067 --> 00:16:17,367
Tell me, what do you think
347
00:16:17,467 --> 00:16:19,100
of the new women's fashion
of pants?
348
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:22,167
Oh, the butt dress? Repulsive!
349
00:16:22,267 --> 00:16:24,967
I was talking to Helen.
350
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,633
Well, since we have such an
esteemed guest staying with us,
351
00:16:27,733 --> 00:16:29,200
why don't we bring out
the cocaine wine?
352
00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:30,700
Well, that sounds exotic.
353
00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:33,533
What serendipity has
married cocaine and wine?
354
00:16:33,633 --> 00:16:35,533
I tried opium once in Indochina
355
00:16:35,633 --> 00:16:37,233
and all it made me do was
shit through my teeth.
356
00:16:37,333 --> 00:16:40,433
Our guests are members of
the Women's Temperance League,
357
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:42,433
so no wine for us, thank you.
358
00:16:42,533 --> 00:16:44,233
Don't worry.
It's mostly cocaine.
359
00:16:44,333 --> 00:16:46,200
If it's mostly cocaine...
360
00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:47,667
[blows raspberry]
361
00:16:47,767 --> 00:16:50,233
Well, stuff my bottom,
let's pop her!
362
00:16:50,333 --> 00:16:51,300
[laughs]
363
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:52,300
[cork pops]
364
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:55,067
[water splashing]
365
00:16:55,133 --> 00:16:57,967
Yes, I quite enjoy
Frederick's bath time.
366
00:16:58,067 --> 00:17:00,400
I know it's Frederick's
bath time,
367
00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:03,600
but it also is, in an essence,
my bath time.
368
00:17:03,700 --> 00:17:06,133
I get to wash my hands.
369
00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:10,700
Oh, Garfield, sometimes I feel
as though I have nothing.
370
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,533
I can't be with the woman
I love. I have no career.
371
00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:17,067
I have absolutely
nothing to do all day
372
00:17:17,133 --> 00:17:19,233
except eat, take naps, hunt,
373
00:17:19,333 --> 00:17:21,533
relax, take drugs,
play sporting games,
374
00:17:21,633 --> 00:17:25,067
do all the leisurely activities
that please me.
375
00:17:25,133 --> 00:17:27,233
Can you imagine not being able
to follow your dreams?
376
00:17:27,333 --> 00:17:28,500
Oh, no, sir.
377
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:30,600
For you see, I work
for the Bellacourts.
378
00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:33,933
Sometimes I can't believe
how lucky I am.
379
00:17:37,700 --> 00:17:41,767
Frederick, can
I tell you a secret?
380
00:17:41,867 --> 00:17:43,333
No, thank you.
381
00:17:43,433 --> 00:17:46,367
[laughter]
382
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:51,067
That lady was
Roosevelt's daughter
383
00:17:51,133 --> 00:17:52,367
without a hat!
384
00:17:52,467 --> 00:17:56,133
[laughter]
385
00:17:56,233 --> 00:17:57,567
More cocaine wine?
386
00:17:57,667 --> 00:17:59,333
- Yes.
- A little bit more won't hurt.
387
00:17:59,433 --> 00:18:01,400
Any lady in Newport society
388
00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:03,567
needs to know how
to hold her liquor.
389
00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:05,400
Well, I can hold my liquor
better than anyone!
390
00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:06,767
Me, too!
391
00:18:06,867 --> 00:18:08,900
Oh, my goodness,
that sounds like a challenge.
392
00:18:09,067 --> 00:18:10,333
Shall we see who can drink it
the fastest?
393
00:18:10,433 --> 00:18:11,600
- Oh!
- Yes! Yes!
394
00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:13,433
Helen, other person!
395
00:18:13,533 --> 00:18:15,067
- Let's race.
- One, two, three go!
396
00:18:15,133 --> 00:18:19,067
Wait! I have to tell Helen
we're doing a contest.
397
00:18:19,133 --> 00:18:21,067
Come on.
398
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:24,533
(Marquis de Sainsbury)
Go, go, go, go, go.
399
00:18:25,067 --> 00:18:26,667
Aah!
400
00:18:26,767 --> 00:18:27,700
You are all piles of trash!
401
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,067
I am a mountain of gold!
402
00:18:29,167 --> 00:18:31,667
I won! I took the egg!
403
00:18:31,767 --> 00:18:33,933
Aah!
404
00:18:34,067 --> 00:18:36,867
I won, you dumb haybag!
You don't count.
405
00:18:36,967 --> 00:18:39,833
Second place.
Why am I always second place?
406
00:18:39,933 --> 00:18:41,567
You're not second place.
Lillian's second place!
407
00:18:41,667 --> 00:18:43,067
I'm first place.
I won.
408
00:18:43,133 --> 00:18:45,533
No one asked you to play, Hore!
You're fat!
409
00:18:45,633 --> 00:18:47,500
"Other person"?!
"Other person"?!
410
00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:49,767
I'm the one that taught her
to communicate!
411
00:18:49,867 --> 00:18:51,567
Without me she'd be nothing!
412
00:18:51,667 --> 00:18:53,933
You're nothing
without me, Keller!
413
00:18:54,067 --> 00:18:57,500
Nothing!
414
00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:59,067
I love you, Annie!
415
00:18:59,167 --> 00:19:00,333
Aah!
416
00:19:00,433 --> 00:19:01,633
[screams]
417
00:19:01,733 --> 00:19:03,400
That's a Ming vase,
you deaf bitch!
418
00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:07,133
We only have 17 of those!
419
00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:09,633
[screams]
420
00:19:09,733 --> 00:19:12,867
[screaming]
421
00:19:21,067 --> 00:19:23,233
I wasn't totally sure
what was happening...
422
00:19:23,333 --> 00:19:25,067
Aah!
423
00:19:25,167 --> 00:19:27,533
but I knew I wanted
to stab someone.
424
00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:30,300
[screaming]
425
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,400
Let go of my sister!
426
00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:35,633
[screaming]
427
00:19:39,133 --> 00:19:41,400
You heathens!
428
00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:43,367
What is this, Baltimore?!
429
00:19:43,467 --> 00:19:44,367
[gunshot]
430
00:19:44,467 --> 00:19:45,367
[screams]
431
00:19:45,467 --> 00:19:46,867
Intruder!
432
00:19:46,967 --> 00:19:51,967
Wawa.
433
00:19:52,067 --> 00:19:53,067
(man)
* I just want the money, money
434
00:19:53,167 --> 00:19:55,400
* I just want the money
435
00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:57,900
I'm sorry
Hortense ruined everything.
436
00:19:58,067 --> 00:20:00,200
Who the hell is Hortense?!
437
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,733
I've literally been here
the whole time.
438
00:20:02,833 --> 00:20:05,700
I am leaving!
439
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:06,867
Annie? Helen?
440
00:20:06,967 --> 00:20:08,033
Have you ever taken a ride
441
00:20:08,133 --> 00:20:09,900
in a 1901 Rolls-Royce carriage?
442
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,133
4 horsepower. Human leather.
443
00:20:17,233 --> 00:20:19,700
Who cares about the stupid
Newport 400 anyway?
444
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,833
[screams]
445
00:20:22,933 --> 00:20:24,700
I just want to be a Bellacourt.
446
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,333
We might be a little kooky,
447
00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:29,200
and we might do things
in our own crazy little way,
448
00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:34,133
but in the end, the only thing
that matters is family.
449
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,700
Mm-hmm.
450
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:46,900
Tell me, did you miss me?
451
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,700
Of course.
452
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:51,233
My boyfriend's back.
453
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:54,933
Are you enjoying your new
position at the manor?
454
00:20:55,033 --> 00:20:57,767
I enjoy almost
every position.
455
00:20:57,867 --> 00:21:01,467
Oh. Oh.
456
00:21:01,567 --> 00:21:03,933
Oh, oh! Oh!
457
00:21:04,067 --> 00:21:06,300
I hope it's an heir.
458
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:09,233
I mean, a boy.
459
00:21:09,333 --> 00:21:14,900
[hip-hop music]
460
00:21:15,067 --> 00:21:16,533
(Albert)
Next time on Another Period...
461
00:21:16,633 --> 00:21:17,667
[screams]
462
00:21:17,767 --> 00:21:18,833
[screams]
463
00:21:18,933 --> 00:21:19,867
[screams]
464
00:21:19,967 --> 00:21:21,900
[screaming]
465
00:21:22,067 --> 00:21:23,367
- [screams]
- [screams]
466
00:21:23,467 --> 00:21:24,367
[screams]
467
00:21:24,467 --> 00:21:25,367
[screams]
468
00:21:25,467 --> 00:21:25,933
[all screaming]
33047
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