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Tago Clearing Film Studio presents
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in association with Omnes Films
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Ham on Rye
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Good morning!
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What's up!
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Bye Mom! Bye Dad!
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Bye Uncle Joe!
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Are we gonna be late?
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Yeah
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Well, that's the idea.
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We don't want to rush a day we're gonna
remember "for the rest of our lives"
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Is anyone else really stuffy in here?
Can we open a window or something?
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I'm not stuffy at all.
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Carl, get out.
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Well, we should get going, right?
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Hello, we want to be late
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Right
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Do we like this with my dress?
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I think the guys will like it
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Yeah, me too.
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...how do you hit something four hundred and fifty feet
with a round bat against a round ball?
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The field is a diamond, though.
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Yeah...
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But anyways, those guys are athletes.
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They train year round, you know they're in great shape,
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they run, they lift weights, I mean you have to be--
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Trisha Marie!
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Oh you're beautiful!
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Picture!
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Picture, Trisha Marie!
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Beautiful! Beautiful, honey, beautiful!
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Pictures pictures pictures!
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-So pretty!
-Smile! Smile!
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Oh if your uncle could see you now! Oh, I'm gonna cry!
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Picture! Photo!
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Show the teeth!
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Oh, you're so beautiful.
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Smile, girls! For Grandma!
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For Grandma!
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Here we go!
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The dresses, the dresses, oh they're just beautiful
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So pretty
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Oh, they look just beautiful.
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I'm gonna cry again, just beautiful.
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I wish I was that young again!
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Oh, honey!
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Say "Monty's!"
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Here we go!
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-What up, dude?
-Yeah!
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Yeah!
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Let's go!
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Hey, whoa whoa whoa, no milk in the car!
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No milk in the car!
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Yeah dude!
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Here we go!
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Hey, how are you, how are you?
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Thank you so much.
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You know, I was telling my boy
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they don't really appreciate the opportunities
that they have today.
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You know, when I was his age I was working three jobs.
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You know what I mean?
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But -- thank you so much! Really--
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Okay... Alright...
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Don't mess it up!
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Don't mess it up!
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Don't mess it up!
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So... I was thinking
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You know how you said porking is the ultimate purpose?
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Well, what about the doctors
and nurses in the emergency room?
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I mean... they give you a full recovery
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Isn't that more important than hot action?
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No
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I really have to shit.
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Then do it.
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Uh, duh, where?
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Like in one of these houses.
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That's weird as fuck.
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Isn't there a restroom at Monty's?
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Oh yeah, you want her to go into Monty's
and have everyone smell her enormous crap?
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You know what? Fuck it.
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I cannot believe she just did that.
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I hope they're not like freak murderers or something.
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I mean, it looks like a nice house,
they're probably good people.
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True
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Wait wait wait, so hold on
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you say that porking is the ultimate purpose
because it creates more human beings, right?
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Yes, it's the purpose.
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That's the whole point.
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Right, so...
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if that's the case, where does that leave, like
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you know, gay people and bisexual people?
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Do they have half a purpose or no purpose at all?
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00:10:44,950 --> 00:10:47,280
So Trish, I got to talk to you about something
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What's up?
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Uh, I've just been thinking about Monty's.
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Okay...
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Don't you think the whole thing is, like, a little bit weird?
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Weird like what?
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Uh, I don't know the whole thing
is just kind of strange, like...
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if you think about it, it's just...
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It just makes me kind of uncomfortable.
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But don't you love the food there?
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Yeah, I love the food at Monty's.
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Me too.
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One time I got third place, I'm going:
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"You're giving first place to a Ford Galaxy?
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That puts the 'b' in 'boring' when it comes to a car.
108
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I've got an aqua blue Barracuda convertible,
I'm not even placing?"
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It's just stupid.
110
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But, you know, it's a lot of fun,
although I always come back with indigestion
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you know, and the wife hates me for it
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so I take an Alka Seltzer for it or something
just to get my stomach to stop
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making all these noises...
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Gwen,
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I'm so good.
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Life is so good.
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Honestly, everything is so good.
118
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Love, your sister Amy
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She sent you that?
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She has the handwriting of your mom,
it's like old person handwriting.
121
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Well she is older.
122
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Wow, being older is, like...
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really good.
124
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Well... soon enough we'll be too.
125
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Some of us are close to seventeen.
126
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Uh, when did you get it? The card?
127
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Um, apparently it came like a week ago,
but my mom gave it to me like yesterday.
128
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What?
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Can I see the back?
130
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Can you read it again?
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Gwen,
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I'm so good.
133
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Life is so good.
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Honestly, everything is so good.
135
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Love, your sister Amy
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Haley, can I see your corsage for a second?
137
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Uh, sure.
138
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Oh, it looks so good on you.
139
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Thank you, I feel like you're too pale for it.
140
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Hey, shut up!
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00:18:10,980 --> 00:18:12,270
Hey, uh...
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Do you guys think we're gonna be like Amy?
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Like... happy?
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No, like...
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where do you think we'll go?
146
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You think too much.
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I'm being serious.
148
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Yeah, me too.
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I have an idea.
150
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Instead of thinking too much you can listen
to like a song in your head or something.
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Right
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I'll help.
153
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My aunt moved out to the country.
154
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She had her kids there and stopped working.
155
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I would too, though. Who wants to live here?
156
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She just, like, cooks all day.
157
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That must be nice.
158
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Yeah
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Kind of boring, though.
160
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Yeah, I'd want to go traveling somewhere every once in a while.
161
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I don't know where I want to go.
162
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Maybe...
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the midwest?
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Really?
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How boring.
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Well... open land is nice.
167
00:19:37,780 --> 00:19:40,780
Oh, did you guys hear? They painted
the hands on Monty's sign green.
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I heard that.
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Oh my gosh, do you guys think David's going to show up?
170
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I hope not!
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00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:51,840
I think he actually likes you though.
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-Oh my gosh, yes!
-Deject him!
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Son...
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when I was your age...
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around forty years ago today...
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I thought a person couldn't be too eager.
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I wanted it all, I tried...
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No one tried harder than I did.
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Well, we talked about it enough...
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Talking's over. Now it's time to act.
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Go get 'em, kiddo.
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This is not good.
183
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It's not good.
184
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It's fine.
185
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We're across the street.
186
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We're so close.
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-This is not good.
-It's not good.
188
00:22:13,020 --> 00:22:15,060
It looks like a panic attack.
189
00:22:15,150 --> 00:22:17,190
-It's not a panic attack.
-I think it's a panic attack.
190
00:22:17,270 --> 00:22:19,070
It's a panic attack.
Artie, get him water or something.
191
00:22:19,740 --> 00:22:22,360
Look, I don't know, just do something.
192
00:22:23,780 --> 00:22:26,450
We've been walking for three miles.
It's fatigue, trust me.
193
00:22:26,450 --> 00:22:30,080
That doesn't change the fact that it
still looks like he's having a panic attack.
194
00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:32,870
Maybe we should carry him.
How much does he weigh?
195
00:22:40,010 --> 00:22:41,380
Hey, buddy!
196
00:22:41,550 --> 00:22:42,840
Hey, Jim!
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Buddy...
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Brother...
199
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:47,800
You look good.
200
00:22:47,970 --> 00:22:50,220
Yeah, how's your fatigue?
201
00:23:46,070 --> 00:23:49,910
I didn't have any, I was like "Is this even reality?"
202
00:23:55,370 --> 00:23:58,170
It's not like mustard and ke--
203
00:23:58,210 --> 00:24:01,090
it's like two separate lines on the hot dog--
it's like how do you do that?
204
00:24:01,420 --> 00:24:03,760
I didn't know if it was gonna be cold out
205
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because I've never been here before, so just to be prepared...
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Dude!
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00:24:23,190 --> 00:24:23,900
Dude!
208
00:24:23,980 --> 00:24:26,950
I cannot believe you said that about Janitza!
209
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:28,200
Is it true?
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She's gonna go crazy.
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00:24:29,660 --> 00:24:31,160
She's gonna lose it.
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I'm stoked
213
00:24:32,330 --> 00:24:34,790
This is gonna be intense,
this is gonna be super intense.
214
00:24:35,830 --> 00:24:36,910
Are we videotaping this?
215
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:40,080
Yeah, dude, we'll videotape the
whole thing, we'll frame it nicely
216
00:24:40,170 --> 00:24:43,170
and then as soon as those fists
start flying, boom boom boom
217
00:24:43,210 --> 00:24:44,000
It's gonna be awesome.
218
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:46,380
I want to get right in there on the action.
219
00:24:46,670 --> 00:24:48,760
I'm so happy I'm gonna
get away from her this summer.
220
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:50,890
Yeah, she finally stopped giving
so much homework, though.
221
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:52,140
That's good.
222
00:24:52,220 --> 00:24:53,970
I mean... I wouldn't say that
223
00:24:54,100 --> 00:24:55,970
In my class we got so much homework.
224
00:24:56,060 --> 00:24:56,680
Are you kidding?
225
00:24:56,730 --> 00:24:58,640
Yeah, it was ridiculous.
226
00:24:58,730 --> 00:25:00,650
Like the past two months, I've just--
227
00:25:01,230 --> 00:25:02,060
Wait...
228
00:25:02,270 --> 00:25:02,860
Where'd you get that?
229
00:25:02,940 --> 00:25:04,190
Oh, I'm sorry do you want some?
230
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:10,740
Uh, hi
231
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:12,160
Hi
232
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,280
Uh, I'm not--
233
00:25:15,910 --> 00:25:18,540
I don't know how to really word this, but um...
234
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:20,960
Do you know Jamie?
235
00:25:21,500 --> 00:25:22,210
Sure
236
00:25:22,290 --> 00:25:24,170
Yeah, okay. Uh...
237
00:25:24,250 --> 00:25:26,670
He's been saying some...
238
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:28,760
pretty messed up shit about you.
239
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:32,590
I don't know if you care or not.
240
00:25:32,890 --> 00:25:34,760
When they invented mathematics...
241
00:25:34,970 --> 00:25:37,140
they took a picture of the sky...
242
00:25:38,100 --> 00:25:39,980
and they flipped it around
243
00:25:41,390 --> 00:25:43,520
and they had sponges back then
244
00:25:45,020 --> 00:25:48,570
so they put a sponge right on the middle of the picture
245
00:25:49,610 --> 00:25:51,360
and it expanded.
246
00:25:53,030 --> 00:25:54,030
And that's--
247
00:25:54,740 --> 00:25:56,830
That's the beginning of everything.
248
00:25:56,990 --> 00:25:58,410
I think I heard somebody tell me that.
249
00:25:58,750 --> 00:26:00,160
It just got bigger and bigger?
250
00:26:00,290 --> 00:26:03,750
And that's actually how they invented the vacuum, too.
251
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Okay
252
00:28:22,660 --> 00:28:23,280
Okay
253
00:28:23,570 --> 00:28:24,890
-Okay okay
-Okay
254
00:28:34,150 --> 00:28:34,940
Hey
255
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:36,320
What's up?
256
00:28:36,610 --> 00:28:38,610
I'm Nick, this is Nicholas.
257
00:28:38,860 --> 00:28:40,370
We live just off Maple Avenue.
258
00:28:40,570 --> 00:28:42,280
Hey, I'm Gwen
259
00:28:42,870 --> 00:28:44,200
It's a pleasure
260
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:46,500
You eating anything good?
261
00:28:46,870 --> 00:28:48,500
-Ham on rye
-Just a reuben
262
00:28:48,750 --> 00:28:50,880
Cool, cool
263
00:28:53,250 --> 00:28:54,550
I noticed your dress
264
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:55,960
You did?
265
00:28:56,670 --> 00:28:57,760
It's a good dress
266
00:28:58,130 --> 00:28:59,380
Thanks
267
00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:01,430
What about my dress?
268
00:29:03,220 --> 00:29:04,720
It's also a good dress
269
00:30:09,410 --> 00:30:10,910
I feel bad.
270
00:30:11,540 --> 00:30:12,870
Yup
271
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:17,920
Well... it's only a mile walk back.
272
00:30:18,090 --> 00:30:20,340
Yeah and he seemed fine when we left him.
273
00:30:20,670 --> 00:30:21,670
Relatively.
274
00:30:22,260 --> 00:30:25,430
Yeah, and it's only like walking to his house.
275
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:27,600
He's not in any danger or anything.
276
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:31,770
It's only a mile and a half
277
00:30:33,060 --> 00:30:35,400
More like a mile and a quarter?
278
00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:36,860
Yeah
279
00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:11,140
...gluten, it's very bad for you.
280
00:31:11,220 --> 00:31:15,020
Some people can't tolerate it. It also has many negative health effects.
281
00:31:15,190 --> 00:31:16,770
I also do not do dairy
282
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:19,900
the barbaric way they treat their cows, I can't be a part of that
283
00:31:19,980 --> 00:31:23,070
although if you do do cheese, please keep it at a minimum
284
00:31:24,030 --> 00:31:27,990
But eggs, please do not prepare my food anywhere near eggs
285
00:31:28,070 --> 00:31:32,540
Eggs come from chickens, and chickens
are kept in overcrowded henhouses
286
00:31:32,870 --> 00:31:33,870
Yeah, okay...
287
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:35,790
Let me see if I can get that for you, alright?
288
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:36,920
Can you just get a--
289
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:38,840
Yeah, I'm on it, don't worry about it
290
00:32:04,990 --> 00:32:06,110
Mr. Monty?
291
00:32:10,990 --> 00:32:12,660
The grinder's still busted.
292
00:32:14,110 --> 00:32:15,540
How do you want the ham?
293
00:32:21,420 --> 00:32:23,460
You know I hate working today, right?
294
00:32:27,180 --> 00:32:28,010
Funny
295
00:32:28,470 --> 00:32:29,800
I don't see you working.
296
00:32:30,550 --> 00:32:32,720
Right now you're just standing there.
297
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:16,990
You know
298
00:34:18,210 --> 00:34:19,700
I think I'm starting to get it.
299
00:34:20,330 --> 00:34:22,040
What everyone was talking about?
300
00:34:23,250 --> 00:34:24,830
Everything just feels...
301
00:34:25,170 --> 00:34:27,920
nice. I feel like I'm where I belong.
302
00:34:33,220 --> 00:34:34,550
It just feels like...
303
00:34:35,010 --> 00:34:37,140
everything's exactly where it needs to be.
304
00:34:39,220 --> 00:34:40,520
What's your name?
305
00:47:27,700 --> 00:47:29,370
Hey Gwen, um...
306
00:47:29,540 --> 00:47:30,540
sorry for...
307
00:47:31,660 --> 00:47:33,040
leaving Monty's
308
00:47:33,370 --> 00:47:35,500
I know that was kind of sudden
309
00:47:35,710 --> 00:47:37,080
I should have said something.
310
00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:40,670
But, yeah...
311
00:47:40,920 --> 00:47:42,260
Call me back
312
00:47:42,630 --> 00:47:44,050
Thanks
313
00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:06,530
Katie, hey
314
00:48:07,210 --> 00:48:08,210
it's Haley
315
00:48:10,740 --> 00:48:13,580
Just wondering where you are
316
00:48:16,620 --> 00:48:20,170
Call me back if you can
317
00:48:20,420 --> 00:48:21,710
Bye
318
00:48:42,940 --> 00:48:43,780
Hey honey
319
00:48:44,110 --> 00:48:44,860
Yeah
320
00:48:45,910 --> 00:48:46,650
What?
321
00:48:47,040 --> 00:48:49,320
I don't know, I mean what can I say, I mean...
322
00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:51,450
He fell.
323
00:48:53,830 --> 00:48:55,870
He fell in a pothole.
324
00:48:57,500 --> 00:48:58,290
Yeah
325
00:48:59,190 --> 00:48:59,880
Yep
326
00:49:02,250 --> 00:49:03,050
Yes
327
00:49:03,460 --> 00:49:04,830
It's broken.
328
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:08,470
The fibular
329
00:49:09,730 --> 00:49:11,140
The fibular!
330
00:49:14,220 --> 00:49:15,390
What?
331
00:49:18,770 --> 00:49:20,770
No... no
332
00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:25,230
Nope, he uh...
333
00:49:28,240 --> 00:49:30,410
No, he did not even get there.
334
00:49:32,030 --> 00:49:33,740
He didn't make it.
335
00:51:32,610 --> 00:51:34,400
I see you
336
00:51:38,830 --> 00:51:41,120
Where's the top of his hat?
337
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:03,850
Hey cheer up, man.
338
00:54:05,470 --> 00:54:07,220
Cheer up?
339
00:54:10,310 --> 00:54:12,650
He shouldn't think about it.
340
00:54:17,900 --> 00:54:19,690
That's what I do.
341
00:54:24,030 --> 00:54:26,700
I was just like "I'm not gonna think about this."
342
00:54:27,490 --> 00:54:29,410
And I'm still not.
343
00:54:30,210 --> 00:54:31,870
That's nice, Garth.
344
00:54:32,830 --> 00:54:34,040
Yeah
345
00:54:37,050 --> 00:54:39,550
That's what you should do, Sloan.
346
00:54:45,510 --> 00:54:46,180
Yeah
347
00:54:46,780 --> 00:54:47,930
Look man...
348
00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:52,310
It sucks and like...
349
00:54:53,430 --> 00:54:55,560
you can let it suck or...
350
00:54:56,860 --> 00:54:58,730
you can not let it suck.
351
00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:02,030
Or something.
352
00:55:05,990 --> 00:55:07,620
Yeah, man.
353
00:58:17,270 --> 00:58:21,440
I got half price on radiated last month.
354
00:58:24,360 --> 00:58:25,980
You should come down.
355
00:58:28,780 --> 00:58:31,610
I'm happy, you know that?
356
00:58:54,050 --> 00:58:55,600
Why did you do that?
357
00:58:56,640 --> 00:58:58,010
There were flies on it.
358
00:58:58,460 --> 00:58:59,350
Earlier.
359
00:59:16,070 --> 00:59:19,410
So how's everybody been sleeping?
360
00:59:32,260 --> 00:59:34,130
Two, please.
361
01:00:21,220 --> 01:00:23,560
Do I get a second chance?
362
01:00:54,010 --> 01:00:55,380
What's up with this guy?
363
01:00:57,760 --> 01:01:00,090
You still working at Monty's?
364
01:01:02,560 --> 01:01:04,970
That's a little masochistic, isn't it?
365
01:01:06,180 --> 01:01:07,730
Chill out, Snake.
366
01:01:10,520 --> 01:01:13,020
What the hell's wrong with you?
367
01:01:30,630 --> 01:01:32,380
We can't see it
368
01:01:33,420 --> 01:01:34,630
but
369
01:01:36,010 --> 01:01:38,880
if you get a really good microscope
370
01:01:39,220 --> 01:01:41,680
and you look really hard
371
01:01:42,430 --> 01:01:44,310
you still can't see it.
372
01:04:59,410 --> 01:05:03,000
I was twenty years old when I saw my first...
373
01:05:05,340 --> 01:05:07,050
oyster.
374
01:05:10,220 --> 01:05:12,470
Oysters make pearls.
375
01:05:12,970 --> 01:05:15,270
Pearls go on necklaces.
376
01:05:19,850 --> 01:05:23,020
Ritzy boys and girls wear necklaces.
377
01:05:27,740 --> 01:05:30,820
They sell necklaces at jewelers.
378
01:05:33,410 --> 01:05:36,750
Jewelers occupy shopping districts.
379
01:05:40,120 --> 01:05:43,170
Shopping districts are occasionally...
380
01:05:47,300 --> 01:05:49,930
converted into malls.
381
01:05:52,220 --> 01:05:54,470
My uncle owns a mall.
382
01:05:56,770 --> 01:05:58,850
I don't like my uncle.
383
01:11:17,960 --> 01:11:19,550
I have an idea
384
01:11:20,630 --> 01:11:23,050
Let's call your brother at BAU.
385
01:11:23,720 --> 01:11:26,100
Wouldn't you like to hear from your brother?
386
01:11:51,660 --> 01:11:52,580
Hello?
387
01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:53,910
Daniel!
388
01:11:54,290 --> 01:11:56,380
Daniel, it's me, Dad.
389
01:11:58,210 --> 01:12:01,210
I went by the campus, and I didn't see you.
390
01:12:04,840 --> 01:12:06,010
Hi Dad
391
01:12:07,760 --> 01:12:09,930
We're all here having dinner.
392
01:12:13,430 --> 01:12:14,350
What?
393
01:12:15,600 --> 01:12:17,770
We're all here having dinner.
394
01:12:18,360 --> 01:12:19,650
Haley's here.
395
01:12:20,690 --> 01:12:21,900
She's gonna be
396
01:12:22,150 --> 01:12:23,490
sticking around.
397
01:12:25,570 --> 01:12:27,450
Haley's there?
398
01:12:28,530 --> 01:12:30,620
How's college, Daniel?
399
01:12:33,080 --> 01:12:34,910
It's good, I'm just sitting.
400
01:12:35,000 --> 01:12:36,250
You're just--
401
01:12:37,120 --> 01:12:38,790
You're just what?
402
01:12:40,630 --> 01:12:41,670
Hello?
403
01:12:42,170 --> 01:12:43,760
Is he wearing his coat?
404
01:12:45,130 --> 01:12:48,090
Daniel, are you wearing your coat?
405
01:12:54,430 --> 01:12:55,230
Yes
406
01:12:57,140 --> 01:13:00,310
We got Haley a fishtank for her birthday.
407
01:13:00,560 --> 01:13:03,980
Why don't you tell her about your experience with college?
408
01:13:07,990 --> 01:13:09,200
What was that?
409
01:13:10,120 --> 01:13:12,030
Are you there, Daniel?
410
01:13:17,410 --> 01:13:19,290
I really can't hear you.
411
01:13:20,830 --> 01:13:23,340
Alright, well it was good to hear from you Daniel.
412
01:13:24,880 --> 01:13:25,920
Buh-bye.
413
01:16:17,260 --> 01:16:19,930
Hey, it's me Trish, but you probably knew that.
414
01:16:20,140 --> 01:16:22,350
Leave me a voicemail and I'll get back to you whenever.
415
01:16:22,520 --> 01:16:23,520
Bye!
416
01:16:29,360 --> 01:16:31,020
Hey, Trish
417
01:16:31,390 --> 01:16:32,480
it's Haley
418
01:16:34,570 --> 01:16:36,780
Could you call me back or something? I just...
419
01:16:36,860 --> 01:16:40,080
I don't know why you're not getting any of these, so...
420
01:16:40,200 --> 01:16:41,990
Yeah, thanks.
421
01:19:09,730 --> 01:19:10,730
Gwen?
422
01:19:11,270 --> 01:19:12,810
Are you here?
423
01:19:18,730 --> 01:19:20,070
Hello?
424
01:19:33,610 --> 01:19:34,540
Gary!
425
01:19:35,990 --> 01:19:36,920
Gary!
426
01:19:38,750 --> 01:19:39,920
Gary!
26378
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