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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:23,402 --> 00:01:25,727 Tariq, check out the nurses! 2 00:01:49,094 --> 00:01:51,799 That's right, Saj. Give 'em a scatter. 3 00:02:07,946 --> 00:02:10,069 Annie... Annie, 4 00:02:10,157 --> 00:02:12,778 it's George. He's back early from mosque. 5 00:02:12,868 --> 00:02:14,528 Bugger. Red alert! 6 00:02:14,620 --> 00:02:16,992 - What's up? - Your dad's back! 7 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:18,160 Shit! 8 00:02:21,752 --> 00:02:25,203 Don't tip it, you'll drop Holy Mary! 9 00:02:25,297 --> 00:02:26,839 Come on, Spaz! 10 00:02:37,142 --> 00:02:40,262 - Wait! - Move it! 11 00:02:54,159 --> 00:02:55,439 Bugger. 12 00:02:55,535 --> 00:02:59,913 - Stop. - Why are you stopping? 13 00:03:02,167 --> 00:03:03,709 Go, go, go! 14 00:03:07,255 --> 00:03:10,589 Hey, Ella, there's Annie. 15 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:14,751 Hi, Annie! 16 00:03:28,527 --> 00:03:31,064 Fucking wet meself! 17 00:03:31,154 --> 00:03:33,859 Tariq, where's them nurses? 18 00:04:08,942 --> 00:04:10,934 Keep still. 19 00:04:12,529 --> 00:04:14,605 Ah! You're pulling my hair! 20 00:04:14,698 --> 00:04:16,904 Keep your bloody head still, then. 21 00:04:16,992 --> 00:04:20,325 Sajid, ask your dad for the nit comb. 22 00:04:20,412 --> 00:04:23,247 - I haven't got nits. - Well, stop scratching, then. 23 00:04:24,791 --> 00:04:27,199 Maneer, you out of that bath? 24 00:04:27,293 --> 00:04:28,918 I've just got in! 25 00:04:29,003 --> 00:04:32,538 That bath don't half scratch your arse. 26 00:04:32,632 --> 00:04:36,250 Hey, you, gobshite, I've told you, keep it shut. 27 00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:40,294 And leave him. Sajid, go and hurry those boys up. 28 00:04:40,390 --> 00:04:41,801 I look stupid in this. 29 00:04:41,891 --> 00:04:43,302 Do it yourself, then. 30 00:04:43,393 --> 00:04:45,136 You look lovely. 31 00:05:09,544 --> 00:05:11,952 All right, our kid? 32 00:05:12,046 --> 00:05:13,956 All right, Saj? 33 00:05:32,859 --> 00:05:34,816 Looks great, Dad. 34 00:05:34,903 --> 00:05:36,860 Tradition, see, Son? 35 00:05:36,946 --> 00:05:39,069 All our people wearing this. 36 00:05:51,961 --> 00:05:52,961 Ow! 37 00:05:55,173 --> 00:05:56,964 The watch. 38 00:05:58,551 --> 00:06:02,002 Here. Says your name in Arabic. 39 00:06:02,096 --> 00:06:03,923 See? Nazir. 40 00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:15,980 Son? Today you make me feel very proud. 41 00:06:16,069 --> 00:06:19,153 You two, pack it in now. 42 00:06:19,238 --> 00:06:22,939 Meenah, veil on. Sajid, you get me those cigs. 43 00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:25,359 And take that bleedin' parka off. 44 00:06:25,453 --> 00:06:26,864 Maneer, move it! 45 00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:29,825 Abdul, Tariq, Saleem, let's look at you. 46 00:06:41,636 --> 00:06:43,213 Hat. 47 00:06:47,642 --> 00:06:49,017 Ella? 48 00:06:53,523 --> 00:06:55,396 Your son. 49 00:06:55,483 --> 00:06:57,522 Sellotaping, sellotaping... 50 00:06:57,610 --> 00:06:59,816 - Gorgeous. - One whole roll. 51 00:06:59,904 --> 00:07:01,731 Sellotaping, sellotaping. 52 00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,317 They're 'ere! 53 00:07:03,407 --> 00:07:05,365 Oooh! 54 00:07:07,578 --> 00:07:10,449 Look at that lot. Pickaninnies' fuckin' picnic. 55 00:07:10,539 --> 00:07:12,947 - All right, Saj? - All right, Earnest? 56 00:07:13,042 --> 00:07:14,536 See you later. 57 00:07:18,673 --> 00:07:20,914 What you fuckin' grinnin' at? 58 00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:22,289 Nothing, Grandad. 59 00:07:22,385 --> 00:07:24,591 They just look funny, that's all. 60 00:07:26,305 --> 00:07:27,930 How you doing, my love? 61 00:07:29,141 --> 00:07:31,763 Earnest! Get your arse over 'ere! 62 00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:34,343 Room for a little 'un? 63 00:07:34,438 --> 00:07:35,683 Ay-up! 64 00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:42,897 Bye! Bye! 65 00:08:33,205 --> 00:08:34,830 Ooh, hey. 66 00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:19,824 Abdul. 67 00:09:46,945 --> 00:09:48,737 You all right, Son? 68 00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:50,316 Nazir? 69 00:09:50,407 --> 00:09:54,654 - I can't do this, Dad. - Nazir, come, sit down. 70 00:09:54,745 --> 00:09:56,654 No! I can't! 71 00:09:56,747 --> 00:09:59,783 - Nazir, don't do this! - Sorry, Dad! 72 00:09:59,875 --> 00:10:02,033 - Nazir! - Nazir! 73 00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:36,654 Why he wants to do this? 74 00:10:36,745 --> 00:10:40,529 And bring a shame on my family. 75 00:10:40,624 --> 00:10:42,451 I no understand. 76 00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:44,250 No understand. 77 00:10:47,089 --> 00:10:51,667 Maybe I should have take family to Bradford long time ago. 78 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:55,343 More Pakistani there, see? 79 00:10:55,430 --> 00:10:57,553 No this problem. 80 00:10:57,641 --> 00:11:02,682 It will always be difficult for you, Zaheed. 81 00:11:02,771 --> 00:11:04,645 They are different. 82 00:11:09,277 --> 00:11:12,065 - She's lovely. - Shut up. 83 00:11:21,289 --> 00:11:23,282 What the heck's that? 84 00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:37,877 - You caught any fish yet, Spaz? - Get stuffed! 85 00:11:37,973 --> 00:11:40,678 - She is just gorgeous. - Shut up. 86 00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:42,096 Three pound, love. 87 00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:46,060 - 'Ere y'are, love. - Your change. 88 00:11:46,148 --> 00:11:47,725 Ay-up. 89 00:11:47,816 --> 00:11:51,315 Annie, Ella. How you gettin' on with that Islam? 90 00:11:51,403 --> 00:11:52,980 Fine, thanks, Father. 91 00:11:53,071 --> 00:11:55,479 Two dozen roses for the walk. 92 00:11:55,574 --> 00:11:57,234 And three dozen shamrocks. 93 00:11:57,325 --> 00:11:58,606 - Chips? - Please. 94 00:11:58,702 --> 00:12:00,362 - How many? - Next? 95 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:04,534 - Hello, George, how you doin'? - Very good, thank you for ask. 96 00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:08,124 Good man. Well, God bless. 97 00:12:08,211 --> 00:12:09,753 Allah go with you. 98 00:12:17,262 --> 00:12:20,512 Ha-ha. This man bloody stupid, I think. 99 00:12:20,599 --> 00:12:23,090 Every day he got bloody flower. 100 00:12:24,936 --> 00:12:26,763 Who's next? 101 00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:36,896 Tell her to go away, Stella. 102 00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:39,991 No, I fuckin' won't. I'm her best mate. 103 00:12:40,076 --> 00:12:42,911 Yeah, she's me best mate, Tariq. 104 00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:47,409 Tell her to stand in the entry. She's puttin' me off. 105 00:12:54,799 --> 00:12:56,175 'Situation demands that...' 106 00:12:56,259 --> 00:12:59,046 Will you put that bloody radio down? 107 00:12:59,137 --> 00:13:01,130 Shh, news about Pakistan. 108 00:13:01,222 --> 00:13:03,429 '..After three jets were shot down...' 109 00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:05,723 And a pickled onion, cock? 110 00:13:05,810 --> 00:13:08,182 'The Islamabad government also accused India 111 00:13:08,271 --> 00:13:12,020 'of supplying arms to rebels in East Pakistan.' 112 00:13:12,108 --> 00:13:13,733 These bastard Indians. 113 00:13:13,818 --> 00:13:15,277 Ta-ra! 114 00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:17,769 No bloody interest in East Pakistan, 115 00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:20,153 only want Azaad Kashmir. 116 00:13:20,241 --> 00:13:25,236 I bloody worry. Family live on border, they may be in danger. 117 00:13:25,330 --> 00:13:29,374 - The answer's no. - What you bloody talking about? 118 00:13:30,502 --> 00:13:32,411 I no bloody ask you. 119 00:13:32,504 --> 00:13:36,086 I can read your mind, so you can piss off 120 00:13:36,174 --> 00:13:39,044 if you think you're bringing her here. 121 00:13:39,135 --> 00:13:41,424 Why talk like this, my darling? 122 00:13:41,513 --> 00:13:46,507 If she sets foot here I'm off and I'll take the bloody kids. 123 00:13:46,601 --> 00:13:50,385 Why big problem? First wife always treat second like sister. 124 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:52,022 Get stuffed! 125 00:13:52,106 --> 00:13:54,313 Salt and vinegar? 126 00:13:58,404 --> 00:14:01,239 Give me the ball, Spaz! 127 00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:08,739 - What d'you do that for? - Shit! The mosque van's here! 128 00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:13,920 You bloody kids hide again?! 129 00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:23,919 Tariq, the mosque van's here. 130 00:14:24,013 --> 00:14:25,805 All right, Gandhi. 131 00:14:32,063 --> 00:14:36,855 Your grandad'll drop a bollock if he finds you with a Paki. 132 00:14:36,943 --> 00:14:41,272 I don't care. Tariq's the only bit of happiness I've got. 133 00:14:41,364 --> 00:14:44,069 So my grandad can go fuck himself. 134 00:14:47,245 --> 00:14:48,443 Come along. 135 00:14:50,415 --> 00:14:52,953 I'll fix them. Open door, bastard! 136 00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:58,043 - Come on. Get in. - I was just coming, Dad... 137 00:14:58,131 --> 00:15:01,334 You think I daft? Where is Sajid? 138 00:15:01,426 --> 00:15:02,884 Sajid?! 139 00:15:05,179 --> 00:15:06,887 Sajid! 140 00:15:11,894 --> 00:15:13,887 You bastard! 141 00:15:17,108 --> 00:15:18,768 Bismillah. 142 00:15:18,860 --> 00:15:20,686 Bismillah. 143 00:15:20,778 --> 00:15:22,320 Irachmah. 144 00:15:22,405 --> 00:15:23,864 Irachmah. 145 00:15:23,948 --> 00:15:25,656 Neerahim. 146 00:15:25,741 --> 00:15:27,319 Neerahim. 147 00:15:27,410 --> 00:15:28,987 Bismillah. 148 00:15:29,078 --> 00:15:30,453 Bismillah. 149 00:15:30,538 --> 00:15:32,198 Irachmah. 150 00:15:32,290 --> 00:15:33,700 Irachmah. 151 00:15:33,791 --> 00:15:35,416 Neerahim. 152 00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:37,161 Neerahim. 153 00:15:37,253 --> 00:15:39,495 Eh Laha. 154 00:15:39,589 --> 00:15:41,581 Eh Laha. 155 00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:43,548 Illalah. 156 00:15:43,634 --> 00:15:44,797 Illalah. 157 00:15:44,886 --> 00:15:46,759 Ho Mohammed Dar. 158 00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:48,221 Ho Mohammed Dar. 159 00:15:48,306 --> 00:15:49,800 Rasoo Lallah. 160 00:15:49,891 --> 00:15:51,764 Rasoo Lallah. 161 00:16:00,401 --> 00:16:02,857 - Night, Abdul. - Night, Jo. 162 00:16:08,451 --> 00:16:12,863 Your wife's got a lot to look forward to, pal! 163 00:16:12,955 --> 00:16:14,663 Gunga! Drink now! 164 00:16:14,749 --> 00:16:17,952 - No, Mark, I don't drink. - It's tradition! 165 00:16:18,044 --> 00:16:21,413 He's gettin' married tomorrow! Drink, Gunga! 166 00:16:21,505 --> 00:16:23,878 Take no notice, get off home, mate. 167 00:16:23,966 --> 00:16:26,006 Leave him alone, Mark. 168 00:16:26,093 --> 00:16:29,758 Shut it, fat twat! You'll get a budgie up the bum! 169 00:16:44,653 --> 00:16:45,851 Yes! 170 00:16:58,083 --> 00:17:00,076 Let me see, Sajid. 171 00:17:12,014 --> 00:17:13,556 Sajid? 172 00:17:16,227 --> 00:17:18,219 Uh-oh, here we go. 173 00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:23,601 Come on, bastard. 174 00:17:23,692 --> 00:17:25,519 I bloody fix him. 175 00:17:25,611 --> 00:17:29,822 Hey, stop looking! You make a bloody fool of me, eh? 176 00:17:29,907 --> 00:17:31,650 Jammy little bleeder. 177 00:17:33,661 --> 00:17:36,116 What the hell's he done now? 178 00:17:36,205 --> 00:17:41,365 Done? I tell you what he done. He make a bloody show of me! 179 00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:44,829 Bloody family always makes a bloody show of me! 180 00:17:44,922 --> 00:17:48,587 Now, how I looking mullah in the bloody face, 181 00:17:48,676 --> 00:17:51,463 'cause your son got bloody tickle-tackle! 182 00:17:53,138 --> 00:17:56,638 What are you goin' on about, what tickle-tackle? 183 00:17:56,725 --> 00:17:59,892 Mullah sees, all the bloody children seeing! 184 00:17:59,979 --> 00:18:04,023 Well, he must be seeing things because they were all done. 185 00:18:04,108 --> 00:18:05,685 She's right, George. 186 00:18:05,776 --> 00:18:09,145 You no believe me? You bloody looking! 187 00:18:09,238 --> 00:18:11,480 Sajid, come here. 188 00:18:11,573 --> 00:18:14,361 - Get stuffed. - Hey, hey, language. 189 00:18:14,451 --> 00:18:18,319 I'll stuff you in a minute, now get 'em off. 190 00:18:19,748 --> 00:18:22,418 Come on, let me have a look. 191 00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:25,372 I've wiped your shitty arse before now. 192 00:18:31,301 --> 00:18:33,875 Ooh, he's right, Ella. It's still there. 193 00:18:33,971 --> 00:18:36,592 You sees? Is all you bloody fault! 194 00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:40,549 It's nowt to worry about, you can get him done. 195 00:18:40,644 --> 00:18:42,802 I know who should've got done. 196 00:18:45,399 --> 00:18:47,724 No bloody funny, you sees. 197 00:18:47,818 --> 00:18:51,151 Just get this fixed. This has to be cutting. 198 00:18:52,406 --> 00:18:54,482 Hey! Come here, bastard! 199 00:18:54,575 --> 00:18:57,410 We draw 'em at college. 200 00:18:57,494 --> 00:19:00,531 It protects the end of the penis. 201 00:19:00,622 --> 00:19:02,615 That's dead good that, Saleem. 202 00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:06,124 I wouldn't be doing art if I couldn't draw. 203 00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:10,541 You won't if Dad finds out, Mr Engineering Student. 204 00:19:10,632 --> 00:19:13,882 - Foreskins are dirty. - They wouldn't be there, then. 205 00:19:13,969 --> 00:19:17,172 - Why cut it off? - It lessens feeling. 206 00:19:17,264 --> 00:19:19,802 - It doesn't! - How would you know? 207 00:19:19,891 --> 00:19:21,801 You haven't used yours. 208 00:19:22,936 --> 00:19:24,478 Yes, I have. 209 00:19:24,563 --> 00:19:27,268 You can't have this thing. 210 00:19:27,357 --> 00:19:29,646 It no belong to you. 211 00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:31,727 Not our religion, see? 212 00:19:31,820 --> 00:19:35,734 No worry about it. I buy you nice watch. 213 00:19:35,824 --> 00:19:39,489 Oh, why bother with this at his age, George? 214 00:19:39,578 --> 00:19:43,825 Your son goes bloody hell with this. But we fixes. 215 00:19:43,915 --> 00:19:45,493 He's not. 216 00:19:45,584 --> 00:19:49,083 It's my house and I bloody control it. 217 00:19:49,171 --> 00:19:50,962 - Your house? - Yes. 218 00:19:51,048 --> 00:19:53,336 Whose name's on the rent book? 219 00:19:53,425 --> 00:19:57,339 Maybe your house. My bloody shop money pay bloody rent. 220 00:19:57,429 --> 00:19:58,888 Oh, yeah? 221 00:19:58,972 --> 00:20:03,385 And what d'you think I do in there morning till night? 222 00:20:03,477 --> 00:20:07,261 - Counting mushy fuckin' peas? - I no bloody know. 223 00:20:07,355 --> 00:20:09,811 When I look you with Annie, 224 00:20:09,900 --> 00:20:11,643 talking, smoking, smoking, talking. 225 00:20:11,735 --> 00:20:13,609 Nobody serve bloody chips! 226 00:20:13,695 --> 00:20:19,365 I tell wife number one come. Second wife giving me trouble. 227 00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:23,662 Oh, aye, go on, then, and send me over there. 228 00:20:23,747 --> 00:20:26,072 But I'll tell you one thing, 229 00:20:26,166 --> 00:20:30,911 she'll find it hard serving fish and chips dressed in bedsheets. 230 00:20:32,756 --> 00:20:36,588 Keep your voices down, I've a husband on nights. 231 00:20:36,676 --> 00:20:40,840 Frig off! And wash your bastard curtains, you dirty cow. 232 00:20:40,931 --> 00:20:42,840 Come on, Saj! 233 00:20:44,893 --> 00:20:49,187 Come on, Saj, it's only a little operation. 234 00:20:49,272 --> 00:20:52,273 It won't hurt. 235 00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:56,273 Ahh! 236 00:21:02,869 --> 00:21:04,150 Hello. 237 00:21:04,246 --> 00:21:07,365 Feet off the bed with your shoes on. 238 00:21:07,457 --> 00:21:10,458 - It doesn't matter. - It does to me. 239 00:21:10,543 --> 00:21:14,043 I'm not having my kids accused of bad manners. 240 00:21:14,130 --> 00:21:18,543 People are quick to point. Well, not with mine. 241 00:21:18,635 --> 00:21:20,711 Is everything all right? 242 00:21:20,804 --> 00:21:22,595 Tickle-tackle all gone? 243 00:21:24,265 --> 00:21:26,554 Circumcision was absolutely fine. 244 00:21:28,144 --> 00:21:29,936 You Indian? 245 00:21:30,021 --> 00:21:32,014 - I'm sorry? - George! 246 00:21:32,107 --> 00:21:33,933 Doctor? 247 00:21:35,819 --> 00:21:37,811 Bastard Indian. 248 00:21:37,904 --> 00:21:39,279 See, puther? 249 00:21:41,574 --> 00:21:46,735 This is very special watch. It tell you time in... Arabic. 250 00:21:49,124 --> 00:21:55,921 'Here lies the crucial importance for you and me, 251 00:21:56,005 --> 00:22:00,335 'and no less for those among the immigrants 252 00:22:00,427 --> 00:22:02,882 'whose future does lie here, 253 00:22:02,971 --> 00:22:09,139 'of that policy of assisted repatriation, resettlement...' 254 00:22:09,227 --> 00:22:12,845 We could have a whip-round and get Dad repatriated. 255 00:22:15,567 --> 00:22:17,144 Mmm! 256 00:22:17,235 --> 00:22:19,393 Fucking gannet, wait your turn! 257 00:22:19,487 --> 00:22:22,358 It stinks of burnt bacon in here. 258 00:22:24,367 --> 00:22:26,158 Watch what you're doing, Maneer! 259 00:22:26,244 --> 00:22:29,743 - Dad'll smell it! - Put some curry powder about. 260 00:22:34,127 --> 00:22:36,962 'And with that abusive obloquy...' 261 00:22:38,131 --> 00:22:40,337 What d'you want, Pongo? 262 00:22:40,425 --> 00:22:41,919 Is Sajid back? 263 00:22:43,678 --> 00:22:48,139 He's havin' his knob cut! He won't be spazzin' the streets! 264 00:22:49,309 --> 00:22:51,135 D'you want a toffee, Meenah? 265 00:22:51,227 --> 00:22:55,011 Fuck off! D'you think I want ringworm like you? 266 00:22:57,900 --> 00:23:00,308 Ahh! 267 00:23:00,403 --> 00:23:02,028 Dad's comin'! 268 00:23:16,836 --> 00:23:19,042 - Ahh! - It's 0K, we're home. 269 00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:24,007 Uh, put him down, I'll get some bedding. 270 00:23:24,093 --> 00:23:26,086 Hide that bloody folder. 271 00:23:45,239 --> 00:23:47,362 Ouch! Ooh... 272 00:23:47,450 --> 00:23:48,825 Mam! 273 00:24:47,259 --> 00:24:48,837 OO-oh! 274 00:24:52,848 --> 00:24:54,841 How's little 'un doing? 275 00:24:54,934 --> 00:24:56,725 He's all right. 276 00:24:56,811 --> 00:24:58,803 Just a bit sore. 277 00:25:09,031 --> 00:25:11,024 Where's old bothered-balls? 278 00:25:11,117 --> 00:25:13,109 He happy now? 279 00:25:13,202 --> 00:25:15,823 Yeah. 280 00:25:15,913 --> 00:25:20,575 He bought him a new dressing gown and a watch. 281 00:25:23,087 --> 00:25:26,538 Not much of a swap but better than nowt. 282 00:25:33,973 --> 00:25:36,298 Annie, am I a good mother? 283 00:25:36,392 --> 00:25:39,061 No, you're friggin' awful! 284 00:25:39,145 --> 00:25:42,311 Would you put one of yours through this? 285 00:25:42,398 --> 00:25:44,604 You had no choice, love. 286 00:25:44,692 --> 00:25:48,108 I did. I could've put me foot down. 287 00:25:48,195 --> 00:25:50,567 And given yourself a load of grief. 288 00:25:52,324 --> 00:25:56,536 This is religion, Ella, and it's theirs, you know that. 289 00:25:56,620 --> 00:25:58,909 You knew when you got married. 290 00:26:04,962 --> 00:26:07,287 Just 'cause the man English... 291 00:26:07,381 --> 00:26:09,954 no mean they not good Pakistani. 292 00:26:11,635 --> 00:26:14,755 - I know people think this. - No, Zaheed. 293 00:26:14,847 --> 00:26:17,764 I hear what they say about me. 294 00:26:24,565 --> 00:26:29,855 Zaheed, until your sons join the community fully, 295 00:26:29,945 --> 00:26:33,231 they will be a worry for you. 296 00:26:36,952 --> 00:26:38,577 But listen... 297 00:26:42,249 --> 00:26:44,787 I have a friend in Bradford, 298 00:26:44,877 --> 00:26:47,450 his name is Mr Shah. 299 00:26:47,546 --> 00:26:49,586 He has two daughters. 300 00:26:49,673 --> 00:26:52,164 He is eager they be married. 301 00:26:52,259 --> 00:26:58,179 Now, if you think any of your sons is suitable and ready, 302 00:26:58,265 --> 00:27:00,886 would you be willing to meet them? 303 00:27:04,063 --> 00:27:06,020 No problem. 304 00:27:06,106 --> 00:27:08,099 They're ready. 305 00:27:09,276 --> 00:27:10,818 You arrange? 306 00:27:10,903 --> 00:27:12,646 In Shalla. 307 00:27:18,869 --> 00:27:20,660 I'm back! 308 00:27:20,746 --> 00:27:22,121 Ella! 309 00:27:23,457 --> 00:27:25,782 I buy you present from market. 310 00:27:34,718 --> 00:27:36,711 For you, my love! 311 00:27:37,846 --> 00:27:40,551 What the bleedin' hell is that? 312 00:27:40,641 --> 00:27:44,010 Is good, I thinks. Bloody bargain! 313 00:27:44,102 --> 00:27:48,811 It's an old barber's chair. The rubbish you bring in here! 314 00:27:48,899 --> 00:27:50,690 It's not stoppin' there. 315 00:27:50,776 --> 00:27:53,860 No bloody rubbish! Three bloody pounds! 316 00:27:53,946 --> 00:27:56,271 I think it's bloody lovelies! 317 00:27:56,365 --> 00:28:01,027 You want your head testing spendin' ten bob on that! 318 00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:02,495 Come. 319 00:28:04,456 --> 00:28:06,330 Come try for yourself. 320 00:28:06,416 --> 00:28:08,373 Get off, you daft bleeder. 321 00:28:08,460 --> 00:28:10,038 See? 322 00:28:10,128 --> 00:28:13,248 - So comfortable. - Yeah, very bloody nice! 323 00:28:13,340 --> 00:28:16,257 Yeah, good. Arms. 324 00:28:16,343 --> 00:28:17,837 Look. 325 00:28:20,138 --> 00:28:22,594 - Swivel. - Aah! 326 00:28:22,683 --> 00:28:24,260 And! 327 00:28:24,351 --> 00:28:26,260 Yah! 328 00:28:26,353 --> 00:28:29,971 Get me off, you're gonna break me bloody neck! 329 00:28:30,065 --> 00:28:32,307 You see? It's so relaxing. 330 00:28:32,401 --> 00:28:36,730 Take more than this to make me relax around you. 331 00:28:36,822 --> 00:28:41,282 You always relaxing with me, 'cause you're my lovely. 332 00:28:41,368 --> 00:28:43,657 Tomorrow we go Bradford. 333 00:28:43,745 --> 00:28:45,987 Maybe see film. 334 00:28:46,081 --> 00:28:47,872 Hm? Mmm... 335 00:28:47,958 --> 00:28:50,283 What's all this in aid of? 336 00:28:54,506 --> 00:28:56,249 Want a cup of tea? 337 00:28:56,341 --> 00:28:58,168 I'll have half a cup. 338 00:29:11,273 --> 00:29:14,724 Sajid, comin' t'canal? I'm getting some rats' tails. 339 00:29:14,818 --> 00:29:16,645 I'm goin' to Bradford. 340 00:29:16,736 --> 00:29:20,070 - He's gettin' rats' tails. - What for? 341 00:29:20,156 --> 00:29:23,525 You get sixpence for 'em. My grandad said so. 342 00:29:23,618 --> 00:29:27,912 He's havin' you on. Dad! The van's here! 343 00:29:31,501 --> 00:29:34,170 Come on, you lot! 344 00:29:40,427 --> 00:29:42,799 - Salaam-alacum. - Waalacum-salaam. 345 00:29:43,972 --> 00:29:46,641 Eh? Heeey! 346 00:29:46,725 --> 00:29:48,764 Why you no salaam me, eh? 347 00:29:48,852 --> 00:29:50,975 Poppah Khalid, you're hurting me! 348 00:29:51,062 --> 00:29:53,269 - Say salaam. - Come on. 349 00:29:53,356 --> 00:29:54,850 Salaam-alacum. 350 00:29:56,318 --> 00:29:58,109 Good boy. 351 00:30:02,615 --> 00:30:05,782 What were your Abdul doing kissing that bloke? 352 00:30:05,869 --> 00:30:09,569 Shut it, dickhead. It's Pakistani, they all do it. 353 00:30:09,664 --> 00:30:15,003 Pigeon Dennis does it as well. He gave our kid a shilling. 354 00:30:15,086 --> 00:30:19,166 - Did he heck. - More for a punch in the balls. 355 00:30:20,550 --> 00:30:22,958 George! Come on! 356 00:30:27,974 --> 00:30:31,177 Out of the way, kids, thank you. 357 00:30:31,269 --> 00:30:33,427 - Salaam. - Waalacum-salaam. 358 00:30:33,521 --> 00:30:37,139 You look nice. Piss off, Pongo. 359 00:30:37,233 --> 00:30:38,977 George! 360 00:30:43,490 --> 00:30:47,357 - Salaam-alacum. - Waalacum, Khalid. 361 00:30:49,537 --> 00:30:52,657 Ella put him in bloody back. He's smelling. 362 00:30:53,875 --> 00:30:55,784 Go in the back, cock. 363 00:31:26,866 --> 00:31:29,155 They filmed "The Dambusters" there. 364 00:31:29,243 --> 00:31:32,280 Mam, you say that every time. 365 00:31:32,372 --> 00:31:34,411 Well, they bloody did! 366 00:31:34,499 --> 00:31:37,204 And less of your cheek, lady. 367 00:31:40,129 --> 00:31:43,830 Ah... You never know what bloody happens, you see. 368 00:31:45,385 --> 00:31:48,919 I come here in 1937. 369 00:31:49,013 --> 00:31:52,098 I here maybe one year... 370 00:31:52,183 --> 00:31:55,018 And I make a bloody film. 371 00:31:55,103 --> 00:31:56,929 Were you the star? 372 00:31:57,021 --> 00:31:58,563 Shut it now! 373 00:31:58,648 --> 00:32:00,640 No bloody star, stupid. 374 00:32:00,733 --> 00:32:04,185 I was shouting in a bloody crowd. 375 00:32:04,278 --> 00:32:07,694 "I kill bloody English!" 376 00:32:18,709 --> 00:32:22,921 When I come this country I have no luggage. 377 00:32:24,257 --> 00:32:26,048 Today what I got? 378 00:32:26,134 --> 00:32:28,707 You've got a chip shop, Dad. 379 00:32:28,803 --> 00:32:33,180 Yes, own bloody business, see? 380 00:33:07,466 --> 00:33:09,589 Everybody happy in this town, see? 381 00:33:09,677 --> 00:33:13,093 I don't care how bleedin' big their grins are, 382 00:33:13,180 --> 00:33:14,972 we're not movin' here. 383 00:33:15,057 --> 00:33:16,849 Stupid. 384 00:33:24,650 --> 00:33:26,643 There's hundreds of 'em. 385 00:33:33,659 --> 00:33:36,197 - Thanks a lot, mister! - Sorry. 386 00:33:36,287 --> 00:33:39,952 - That was new. - I buy you new one. 387 00:33:41,625 --> 00:33:44,116 He should send in the army 388 00:33:44,211 --> 00:33:48,256 and sort out these Bengalis once and for all! 389 00:33:52,762 --> 00:33:55,253 Bastard... bastard! 390 00:34:03,439 --> 00:34:05,811 You speak Urdu yet, huh? 391 00:34:07,067 --> 00:34:11,646 I send them learning, but... nothing. 392 00:34:17,578 --> 00:34:20,745 Hussein, go and take the boys to shop. 393 00:34:22,166 --> 00:34:23,446 Sons, 394 00:34:23,542 --> 00:34:26,247 go with Hussein, see how chicken killed. 395 00:34:28,047 --> 00:34:29,209 Go! 396 00:34:30,883 --> 00:34:32,258 Hey! 397 00:34:39,683 --> 00:34:43,598 - Oh, Salaam-alacum! - Waalacum-salaam! 398 00:34:47,066 --> 00:34:50,102 - Mr Shah. - Mr Shah! 399 00:34:50,194 --> 00:34:52,863 - Salaam-alacum! - Waalacum-salaam! 400 00:34:52,947 --> 00:34:56,066 Zaheed, Mr Shah. 401 00:34:56,158 --> 00:34:58,910 - Salaam-alacum. - Waalacum-salaam. 402 00:35:00,704 --> 00:35:02,412 The baby. 403 00:35:02,498 --> 00:35:04,122 Look. 404 00:35:06,210 --> 00:35:08,499 God, I can't believe Shareen's married. 405 00:35:08,587 --> 00:35:11,458 When will she come back from Pakistan? 406 00:35:12,591 --> 00:35:14,667 I dunno, love. 407 00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:17,927 Helen! Make tea! 408 00:35:22,142 --> 00:35:24,135 Put the kettle on. 409 00:35:39,326 --> 00:35:41,900 Hey, oh, cock... 410 00:35:41,995 --> 00:35:46,539 Come on, now. Don't cry. Shh, eh, shh. 411 00:35:50,504 --> 00:35:52,497 My baby. 412 00:35:56,593 --> 00:36:00,045 My wife is really looking forward to seeing those. 413 00:36:00,139 --> 00:36:03,175 We've heard so much about your family. 414 00:36:05,185 --> 00:36:06,977 I mean, six sons. 415 00:36:09,523 --> 00:36:13,106 You've been truly blessed. 416 00:36:15,237 --> 00:36:17,775 Five. One dead. 417 00:37:05,662 --> 00:37:07,655 So, are we agreed? 418 00:37:07,748 --> 00:37:11,828 Abdul will marry Nushaaba and Tariq will marry Nigget. 419 00:37:25,724 --> 00:37:28,262 Your daughters are my daughters. 420 00:37:28,351 --> 00:37:30,344 We are one family. 421 00:38:05,889 --> 00:38:08,380 Uncle, uncle, uncle, eh? 422 00:38:08,475 --> 00:38:11,429 - Salaam-alacum! - Waalacum-salaam. 423 00:38:11,519 --> 00:38:15,648 Aunty-ji, you're looking more beautiful every time I see you. 424 00:38:15,732 --> 00:38:17,725 We all well, yeah? 425 00:38:17,817 --> 00:38:20,818 Why didn't you tell me you were coming? 426 00:38:20,904 --> 00:38:22,398 No problem. 427 00:38:22,489 --> 00:38:25,240 We've come to see "Chaudvin Kha Chand". 428 00:38:25,325 --> 00:38:29,025 Er, lyaaz sahib, this film is not showing today. 429 00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:33,414 - Ahh... Oh, well, never mind. - Aunty-ji, no problem! 430 00:38:33,500 --> 00:38:38,874 Zaid? Change picture. Put on "Chaudvin Kha Chand". 431 00:38:38,963 --> 00:38:42,415 Sahib, the film is already playing for half hour. 432 00:38:42,509 --> 00:38:45,178 Bhentured! Who owns this cinema? 433 00:38:45,261 --> 00:38:47,337 - You! - So change it! 434 00:38:48,890 --> 00:38:52,473 Whatever my family want, you get. Go. 435 00:38:59,484 --> 00:39:01,477 What the fuck you doing? 436 00:39:01,569 --> 00:39:03,942 You supposed to be flipping working! 437 00:39:04,030 --> 00:39:05,822 Change film, quickly! 438 00:39:05,907 --> 00:39:08,861 You cow-worshipping bastards! 439 00:39:15,542 --> 00:39:18,496 0K, sorry. Listen, please! 440 00:39:18,586 --> 00:39:22,086 0K, up, up. Let's go. Sorry, up, please. 441 00:39:22,173 --> 00:39:24,843 Thank you. 0K, come on. 442 00:39:48,700 --> 00:39:50,692 She's a big star. 443 00:41:01,397 --> 00:41:03,437 Psst, Tariq. 444 00:41:03,524 --> 00:41:05,184 Abdul, what you doing? 445 00:41:05,276 --> 00:41:07,399 - I wanna come. - You can't. 446 00:41:07,487 --> 00:41:08,945 I wanna see it. 447 00:41:12,283 --> 00:41:14,240 Well, hurry up, then. 448 00:41:15,411 --> 00:41:18,198 Off you go. All right. 449 00:41:18,289 --> 00:41:20,780 Hiya, love. Yeah, go on. 450 00:41:20,875 --> 00:41:23,627 Sorry, lads, members only, yeah? 451 00:41:23,711 --> 00:41:27,162 - What? - Listen, I said members only. 452 00:41:27,256 --> 00:41:30,341 - This is shite. - On your way. 453 00:41:32,178 --> 00:41:35,262 - Hiya, all right, in you go. - Sorted. 454 00:41:35,348 --> 00:41:37,720 - All right, Tony, mate? - Bazza. 455 00:41:37,808 --> 00:41:40,430 - Yeah, in you go. - Nice one. 456 00:41:40,519 --> 00:41:43,307 Where do you think you're goin', Smiler? 457 00:41:44,690 --> 00:41:46,766 This is our kid, um... 458 00:41:46,859 --> 00:41:49,694 Arthur. Me name's Arthur. 459 00:41:50,863 --> 00:41:52,488 All right. 460 00:41:55,451 --> 00:41:57,242 All right, yeah? Hiya. 461 00:41:58,746 --> 00:42:01,284 What's all this "Tony" malarky? 462 00:42:01,374 --> 00:42:03,781 Don't worry about it, relax. 463 00:42:03,876 --> 00:42:05,833 Enjoy yourself, "Arthur". 464 00:42:17,973 --> 00:42:19,302 Bloody Nora! 465 00:42:19,392 --> 00:42:22,428 Tony! You look gorgeous! 466 00:42:48,963 --> 00:42:50,836 - Hiya. - Evenin', ladies. 467 00:42:50,923 --> 00:42:52,583 - Thanks. - All right.. 468 00:43:12,736 --> 00:43:16,568 What the fuck are you doing with my boyfriend, slag? 469 00:43:16,657 --> 00:43:18,235 D'you fuckin' want some? 470 00:43:18,325 --> 00:43:20,697 Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. 471 00:43:20,786 --> 00:43:22,411 Well, you do now. 472 00:43:22,496 --> 00:43:27,075 - Stella, we were just dancing. - I know, but she's a slag. 473 00:43:28,294 --> 00:43:29,669 Drink? 474 00:43:30,838 --> 00:43:32,213 Let's go. 475 00:43:32,298 --> 00:43:35,133 Did you see that slag after my Tariq? 476 00:43:35,217 --> 00:43:37,791 Didn't notice him complaining. 477 00:43:42,099 --> 00:43:43,926 Bollocks. 478 00:43:48,147 --> 00:43:49,724 I'm thirsty. 479 00:43:50,941 --> 00:43:53,230 Advocaat and lime, rum and black, 480 00:43:53,319 --> 00:43:54,978 easy on the latter. 481 00:43:55,070 --> 00:43:58,854 - Brandy and Babycham. - Can I have another lemonade? 482 00:43:58,949 --> 00:44:01,618 You'll need more than lemonade with that. 483 00:44:01,702 --> 00:44:03,825 0i, you, you cheeky twat! 484 00:44:19,136 --> 00:44:21,544 She's up for it, our kid. 485 00:44:30,230 --> 00:44:33,646 Take some of the weight on your elbows! 486 00:44:33,734 --> 00:44:35,062 Ow! 487 00:44:35,152 --> 00:44:38,188 You caught the skin on me arms! 488 00:44:52,336 --> 00:44:54,459 - Oof! - Fuck off. 489 00:44:56,381 --> 00:44:58,919 Oi! I were first. 490 00:44:59,009 --> 00:45:00,717 - Tough. - Shh! 491 00:45:00,802 --> 00:45:02,842 But he's fillin' it up! 492 00:45:02,930 --> 00:45:05,717 Use the one in Mam's room. Quietly. 493 00:45:42,010 --> 00:45:44,217 - Quick, bastard! - Huh?! 494 00:45:47,974 --> 00:45:49,385 Unh! 495 00:45:59,236 --> 00:46:02,237 I arranging a friend... 496 00:46:02,322 --> 00:46:05,193 and a family come from Bradford. 497 00:46:07,536 --> 00:46:10,205 I hope that boy not embarrass me. 498 00:46:10,288 --> 00:46:12,281 Oh, aye? Who's that? 499 00:46:12,374 --> 00:46:14,248 His name Mr Shah. 500 00:46:14,334 --> 00:46:15,912 Good family. 501 00:46:17,212 --> 00:46:19,251 Been this country 25 years. 502 00:46:19,339 --> 00:46:22,506 Got double extensions. 503 00:46:22,592 --> 00:46:25,546 He got two daughters, you know? 504 00:46:27,472 --> 00:46:30,046 Same age as Abdul and Tariq. 505 00:46:32,561 --> 00:46:35,930 Oh, for Christ's sake, George. 506 00:46:37,774 --> 00:46:40,395 We're not gonna go through that again. 507 00:46:40,485 --> 00:46:42,727 You've gotta talk to the boys. 508 00:46:42,821 --> 00:46:46,071 I tell them when I bastard want! 509 00:46:46,157 --> 00:46:48,648 They have a right to know. 510 00:46:48,743 --> 00:46:50,866 What do you mean, right? 511 00:46:52,664 --> 00:46:57,207 Pakistani father ask son marry, son follow father instruction. 512 00:46:57,294 --> 00:47:00,460 I knew you were up to something. 513 00:47:01,631 --> 00:47:03,540 Look what happened with Nazir. 514 00:47:03,633 --> 00:47:06,468 Don't mention the bastard's name, he dead! 515 00:47:07,721 --> 00:47:10,390 No, he's not, he's livin' in Eccles. 516 00:47:12,183 --> 00:47:16,477 He might be dead to you but he's still my son. 517 00:47:16,563 --> 00:47:18,935 Why you no listen? You stupid? 518 00:47:19,024 --> 00:47:24,610 You don't live my way, puck off and take your bastard kids! 519 00:47:25,905 --> 00:47:29,239 - Where you going? - To make some tea. 520 00:47:30,785 --> 00:47:32,742 I'll have half a cup. 521 00:47:40,295 --> 00:47:42,003 - Mornin'. - All right? 522 00:47:55,435 --> 00:47:56,810 Ow! 523 00:47:56,895 --> 00:47:59,350 Fuckin' mong. Get stuffed. 524 00:47:59,439 --> 00:48:01,764 Will you two shut up? 525 00:48:01,858 --> 00:48:03,649 Shut it, Gandhi. 526 00:48:08,990 --> 00:48:11,113 Hey, time to get up. 527 00:48:28,676 --> 00:48:33,967 Are you gonna say owt to the boys or will I have to? 528 00:48:34,057 --> 00:48:37,889 You stupid. You no get involved with my business, missus. 529 00:48:37,977 --> 00:48:39,721 I'm warning you. 530 00:48:43,399 --> 00:48:46,519 You say nothing till I say. Understand? 531 00:49:08,591 --> 00:49:12,671 Abdul, Tariq, Maneer, Saleem, Meenah, Sajid, get up! 532 00:49:12,762 --> 00:49:15,467 Your breakfast's ready! 533 00:50:04,272 --> 00:50:05,849 Night out, Mum? 534 00:50:05,940 --> 00:50:07,767 Yeah. 535 00:50:10,736 --> 00:50:12,231 You all right? 536 00:50:13,823 --> 00:50:15,198 Your dad's... 537 00:50:16,909 --> 00:50:19,068 You better go, you'll be late. 538 00:50:24,166 --> 00:50:26,325 - Mornin', Mam. - Hmm. 539 00:50:28,379 --> 00:50:31,582 Mam, I need three bob for me sculpture. 540 00:50:31,674 --> 00:50:33,334 Oh, do you? 541 00:50:41,142 --> 00:50:44,807 Hey, you, mucky-head. That's my new hat. 542 00:50:52,111 --> 00:50:53,689 Salaam-alacum. 543 00:50:55,114 --> 00:50:56,905 How are you? 544 00:51:08,961 --> 00:51:10,503 Tariq... 545 00:51:10,588 --> 00:51:12,627 Abdul. 546 00:51:23,100 --> 00:51:24,892 All right, Saleem? 547 00:51:24,977 --> 00:51:26,768 All right, Stella? 548 00:51:26,854 --> 00:51:28,847 Nice frock, is it new? 549 00:51:28,939 --> 00:51:30,932 Yeah, knock-off from docks. 550 00:51:31,025 --> 00:51:33,646 Says, um, "Leonardo" on the label. 551 00:51:33,736 --> 00:51:35,610 Fancy. 552 00:51:35,696 --> 00:51:37,523 Is my Tariq in? 553 00:51:37,615 --> 00:51:39,654 Yeah. Tariq! 554 00:51:42,786 --> 00:51:44,826 Me dad'll be back soon. 555 00:51:44,914 --> 00:51:46,906 Keep your hat on, Gandhi! 556 00:51:48,751 --> 00:51:50,993 Let's send the buggers home! 557 00:51:51,086 --> 00:51:54,502 Enoch's talking next Tuesday at the Salford Hall! 558 00:51:54,590 --> 00:51:57,793 Sign the petition on repatriation and - 559 00:51:57,885 --> 00:52:01,336 'Ere, look, there's one now. Got his bags packed. 560 00:52:01,430 --> 00:52:03,755 Salaam-alacum, Mr Khan! 561 00:52:03,849 --> 00:52:05,474 Shut up, you little bastard! 562 00:52:05,559 --> 00:52:09,177 Come and see Enoch speak at the Salford Hall! 563 00:52:13,233 --> 00:52:16,400 Oh, love, we're just like Romeo and Juliet. 564 00:52:16,487 --> 00:52:21,030 I'll never let the colour of your dad come between us. 565 00:52:21,116 --> 00:52:24,201 It's not fair, I love curry 'an all. 566 00:52:24,286 --> 00:52:26,160 Yeah, right. Nice one. 567 00:52:26,246 --> 00:52:30,078 Come out tonight, we can sit by the Dock Mission. 568 00:52:30,167 --> 00:52:32,373 Bring your Saleem for Peggy? 569 00:52:32,461 --> 00:52:36,506 - Why bring fat-arse? - Shut it, she might hear! 570 00:52:36,590 --> 00:52:38,666 Too late, she already did! 571 00:52:38,759 --> 00:52:42,673 Hang on, he didn't mean it, did you, Tariq? 572 00:52:42,763 --> 00:52:47,472 Ay up, come on, I'll give you free chips for a week. 573 00:52:47,559 --> 00:52:51,557 D'you hear that, Peg? Free chips for a week. 574 00:52:56,944 --> 00:52:59,269 A bottle of Coke as well. 575 00:52:59,363 --> 00:53:02,529 And your Saleem to give us a snog. 576 00:53:02,616 --> 00:53:07,112 I'll ask, but you might have to be happy with chips. 577 00:53:10,541 --> 00:53:11,999 Hi. 578 00:53:13,168 --> 00:53:15,208 You took your bleedin' time. 579 00:53:15,295 --> 00:53:18,000 No start bloody trouble with me, missus. 580 00:53:18,090 --> 00:53:20,332 I send for wife number one, 581 00:53:20,425 --> 00:53:23,095 "Come quick, second wife giving me trouble!" 582 00:53:23,178 --> 00:53:24,756 Me dad's back! 583 00:53:24,847 --> 00:53:26,507 Meenah, Genghis! 584 00:53:30,894 --> 00:53:33,432 Why only Maneer in the bloody shop? 585 00:53:35,899 --> 00:53:40,027 Where is suit I buy for you to wear at college? 586 00:53:40,112 --> 00:53:41,570 At the cleaners'. 587 00:53:41,655 --> 00:53:44,988 How you get job dressed like a hippy? 588 00:53:45,075 --> 00:53:47,068 Go change bloody clothes! 589 00:53:47,160 --> 00:53:48,703 Leave pucking fish! 590 00:53:53,375 --> 00:53:54,750 Hey, you? 591 00:53:56,920 --> 00:54:00,087 I thought I telling you get bloody haircut? 592 00:54:00,173 --> 00:54:02,878 Haven't had time. I'll do it tomorrow. 593 00:54:02,968 --> 00:54:05,673 Maneer?! Go get me scissors. 594 00:54:05,762 --> 00:54:07,969 No worry. I bloody cutting. 595 00:54:08,056 --> 00:54:11,141 None of my sons looking like bastard hippy. 596 00:54:11,226 --> 00:54:13,598 Honestly, I'll get it cut tomorrow. 597 00:54:17,357 --> 00:54:20,857 Tariq! Tariq, help us! Tariq! 598 00:54:23,238 --> 00:54:27,900 Get off her! You dirty great bastard! 599 00:54:47,387 --> 00:54:49,795 In you get. Come on. 600 00:55:05,155 --> 00:55:07,147 You've been where? 601 00:55:07,240 --> 00:55:09,363 Your brother's been to Paris! 602 00:55:09,451 --> 00:55:11,443 How'd you get there, cock? 603 00:55:11,536 --> 00:55:14,158 'By plane from Ringway.' 604 00:55:14,247 --> 00:55:18,031 He's been on an aeroplane from Ringway airport! 605 00:55:18,126 --> 00:55:21,044 - Did he get me 'owt? - A Messerschmitt? 606 00:55:21,129 --> 00:55:23,537 - Don't be stupid. - 'Who's that?' 607 00:55:23,632 --> 00:55:28,092 - Sajid. Have a word... - 'He still wearing that parka?' 608 00:55:28,178 --> 00:55:30,467 - Yeah, still. - 'Oh, God!' 609 00:55:30,555 --> 00:55:33,011 Sajid, talk to Nazir. 610 00:55:33,099 --> 00:55:35,092 Hiya, our kid. Y'all right? 611 00:55:35,185 --> 00:55:37,510 'Yeah. You all right?' 612 00:55:37,604 --> 00:55:40,439 - Yeah. - 'You behavin' yourself?' 613 00:55:40,523 --> 00:55:43,359 No, and he's got half a knob. 614 00:55:43,443 --> 00:55:45,981 Get off! I'm talkin' to him! 615 00:55:46,071 --> 00:55:48,110 When are you comin' home? 616 00:55:48,198 --> 00:55:51,780 'I'll come home and see you soon, Saj, yeah?' 617 00:55:51,868 --> 00:55:54,573 - Let me talk! - Pack it in! 618 00:55:54,663 --> 00:55:56,988 - It's pissin' down! - Here! 619 00:55:57,082 --> 00:56:01,542 - All right, our kid? - Ask what the talent's like! 620 00:56:01,628 --> 00:56:03,834 - Tariq wants... - That's enough! 621 00:56:03,922 --> 00:56:05,499 It's me again. 622 00:56:05,590 --> 00:56:11,260 'Mam, why don't you come over and see me?' 623 00:56:11,346 --> 00:56:16,091 Yeah, soon as I can. But you know how it is. 624 00:56:16,184 --> 00:56:17,726 'Yeah.' 625 00:56:17,811 --> 00:56:19,768 You are happy, aren't you? 626 00:56:19,854 --> 00:56:21,017 'Yeah.' 627 00:56:22,690 --> 00:56:27,352 - Look, I better go. - 'Say hello to Abdul and Tariq' 628 00:56:27,445 --> 00:56:29,853 All right, cock. God bless. 629 00:56:29,948 --> 00:56:32,154 I do miss you, Son. 630 00:56:33,409 --> 00:56:35,319 - Oh, Nazir... - 'Yeah?' 631 00:56:37,205 --> 00:56:38,783 Oh, bugger. 632 00:56:47,173 --> 00:56:50,673 Come on, Earnest, pass us the ball. 633 00:56:50,760 --> 00:56:52,468 All right, Meenah? 634 00:56:52,554 --> 00:56:54,842 D'you want to play football? 635 00:56:54,931 --> 00:56:57,054 All right, Pongo. 636 00:57:08,152 --> 00:57:10,110 Ooh, bloody hell, Meenah! 637 00:57:15,952 --> 00:57:20,661 Earnest?! Earnest! Come back here, you little bastard! 638 00:57:35,305 --> 00:57:36,882 What you doin', pervert?! 639 00:57:38,266 --> 00:57:40,935 He's tryin' to look at your knob. 640 00:57:41,019 --> 00:57:42,845 Come here, freak! 641 00:57:45,106 --> 00:57:47,099 You smelly little bastard! 642 00:57:47,191 --> 00:57:49,564 Spaz, come here, you pervert! 643 00:57:54,323 --> 00:57:56,031 Where are ya? 644 00:58:02,498 --> 00:58:03,779 Ow! 645 00:58:03,875 --> 00:58:07,409 I think it's time that coat went, eh, Meenah? 646 00:58:07,503 --> 00:58:11,797 - No! No, get off! Mam! - Get the button! 647 00:58:12,925 --> 00:58:15,499 I'll tell you a secret! 648 00:58:15,595 --> 00:58:19,094 - What do you know, Spaz? - About the engagement! 649 00:58:21,350 --> 00:58:23,094 What engagement? 650 00:58:24,854 --> 00:58:26,348 Tell us! 651 00:58:29,192 --> 00:58:34,103 Dad's got you and Abdul engaged and you're gonna get married. 652 00:58:34,197 --> 00:58:36,189 Fuckin' hell. 653 00:58:36,282 --> 00:58:40,114 Is this true, Sajid? If you're lyin', I'll have you. 654 00:58:40,203 --> 00:58:43,287 I'm not. I heard him tell me mam. 655 00:58:51,088 --> 00:58:53,496 Tariq, don't! Me dad'll kill us! 656 00:58:53,591 --> 00:58:55,833 I don't believe this. 657 00:58:57,178 --> 00:59:00,013 I'm not marryin' a fuckin' Paki! 658 00:59:00,097 --> 00:59:03,264 - I bet you knew! - No. 659 00:59:03,351 --> 00:59:06,186 - Fuck you, Gandhi. - No, I swear. 660 00:59:06,270 --> 00:59:09,556 - Who does he think he is?! - Tariq! 661 00:59:11,651 --> 00:59:13,857 Tariq, stop it! 662 00:59:15,237 --> 00:59:16,613 Give up! 663 00:59:18,532 --> 00:59:20,110 Stop it! 664 00:59:22,078 --> 00:59:23,738 Tariq, leave it. 665 00:59:26,040 --> 00:59:28,365 Let's clear this up. 666 00:59:29,585 --> 00:59:31,494 - Shit! - Tariq, don't! 667 00:59:31,587 --> 00:59:33,129 Morning, George! 668 00:59:34,673 --> 00:59:36,216 Me dad's coming! 669 00:59:36,300 --> 00:59:38,921 - Shit. - Come on! Come on! 670 00:59:40,137 --> 00:59:41,137 Come on! 671 00:59:42,264 --> 00:59:43,264 Quick! 672 01:00:01,784 --> 01:00:03,575 Who done this? 673 01:00:04,745 --> 01:00:06,987 - Huh? - I dunno, Dad. 674 01:00:13,712 --> 01:00:16,500 I ask you, who doing this? 675 01:00:17,967 --> 01:00:19,129 Huh? 676 01:00:21,262 --> 01:00:23,385 I ask you bastard question! 677 01:00:26,016 --> 01:00:29,848 You do this? Who do this? 678 01:00:31,021 --> 01:00:33,180 I don't know, Dad. 679 01:00:34,358 --> 01:00:38,272 You know who done this? Huh? 680 01:00:46,161 --> 01:00:48,119 Come with me. 681 01:00:48,205 --> 01:00:50,198 Come with me, bastard! 682 01:00:53,919 --> 01:00:55,876 - Please... - Shut up! 683 01:01:05,097 --> 01:01:08,347 Hey, hey, what you doing? What's he done? 684 01:01:08,434 --> 01:01:10,011 Let go, George! 685 01:01:10,102 --> 01:01:14,894 Look at this! Look what your bloody kids do! Look at this! 686 01:01:14,982 --> 01:01:17,983 - Who did this?! - I dunno, honest. 687 01:01:18,068 --> 01:01:21,484 - Come on! Who?! - Leave him alone! George! 688 01:01:21,572 --> 01:01:24,988 Who did it?! He lucky I no kill him! 689 01:01:25,075 --> 01:01:28,076 If you touch him I'll swing for you! 690 01:01:28,162 --> 01:01:31,116 - Who do it? - Maneer, out back! 691 01:01:32,583 --> 01:01:36,415 - Who do it?! - Leave him alone, you bastard! 692 01:01:36,503 --> 01:01:39,173 I haven't finished with you, mister! 693 01:01:41,341 --> 01:01:43,797 You same as you bloody kid! 694 01:01:43,886 --> 01:01:48,548 I your husband, you should agree, like proper Muslim wife. 695 01:01:48,640 --> 01:01:52,852 Oh, yeah, right. I'm a Muslim wife when it suits you. 696 01:01:52,936 --> 01:01:55,474 But not when this shop needs opening, 697 01:01:55,564 --> 01:01:58,897 or your relatives want help at the Home Office. 698 01:01:58,984 --> 01:02:01,522 Don't make me bloody laugh, George. 699 01:02:01,612 --> 01:02:05,444 No start, 'cause I fix you like your bloody kids! 700 01:02:05,532 --> 01:02:10,871 - You all pucking trouble! - Only because you don't listen! 701 01:02:10,954 --> 01:02:12,579 You never have! 702 01:02:12,664 --> 01:02:16,828 You been married to me 25 years and know nothing! 703 01:02:16,919 --> 01:02:18,876 Yeah, right! 704 01:02:18,962 --> 01:02:22,212 25 years I've been married to you, George. 705 01:02:23,717 --> 01:02:28,260 I have sweated my guts out in your bastard shop! 706 01:02:28,347 --> 01:02:31,098 And given you seven kids as well. 707 01:02:31,183 --> 01:02:35,263 And I will tell you this for nothing, 708 01:02:35,354 --> 01:02:38,473 I am not gonna watch you crush them 709 01:02:38,565 --> 01:02:42,397 one by one because of your pig bloody ignorance! 710 01:02:42,486 --> 01:02:44,478 - Oh! - You bastard bitch! 711 01:02:44,571 --> 01:02:46,564 - You bugger! - No! 712 01:02:46,657 --> 01:02:49,194 - You call me pig, bitch! - Oh! 713 01:02:49,284 --> 01:02:54,491 You talk to me like this again, I'll kill you, bloody bitch! 714 01:02:54,581 --> 01:02:58,282 I burn your bastard family when you sleep! 715 01:03:11,515 --> 01:03:16,675 'This cloudy planet is the Earth, our home. 716 01:03:16,770 --> 01:03:19,937 'We know it's crowded with people and life 717 01:03:20,023 --> 01:03:22,016 'and things going on. 718 01:03:22,109 --> 01:03:28,776 'But what must it be like on the other lonelier planets? 719 01:03:33,286 --> 01:03:36,869 'Most of them have no life at all, 720 01:03:36,957 --> 01:03:40,705 'No towns, no fields, no trees, no rivers, 721 01:03:40,794 --> 01:03:44,708 'only rock. Just rock. 722 01:03:44,798 --> 01:03:47,087 'Some of these stars and planets 723 01:03:47,175 --> 01:03:50,378 'must be the loneliest places in the universe. 724 01:03:50,470 --> 01:03:53,839 'Even the Clangers' planet, when the Clangers are indoors 725 01:03:53,932 --> 01:03:59,092 'in their warm caves, must know what it's like to be alone. 726 01:04:01,856 --> 01:04:04,264 'Ah, there's Tiny Clanger.' 727 01:04:15,745 --> 01:04:18,532 Mam, I need another two and six. 728 01:04:19,791 --> 01:04:22,578 'That's made them laugh. 729 01:04:22,669 --> 01:04:26,749 'Oh, no, it's raining! Stop, you'll make them all wet!' 730 01:04:33,722 --> 01:04:37,719 So, when we gonna see this great work of art? 731 01:04:37,809 --> 01:04:39,600 Sunday. 732 01:04:39,686 --> 01:04:41,975 Make sure you're back by dinner, 733 01:04:42,063 --> 01:04:44,850 we've got visitors coming over from Bradford. 734 01:04:44,941 --> 01:04:47,776 'The Clangers are having a party.' 735 01:04:47,861 --> 01:04:50,565 Do we all have to stay in? 736 01:04:51,740 --> 01:04:53,234 Yeah, you do. 737 01:04:53,324 --> 01:04:56,943 If he thinks I'm stickin' round he's wrong. 738 01:04:57,036 --> 01:05:00,904 As long as you're living under his bastard roof, 739 01:05:00,999 --> 01:05:03,288 you'll do as you're told. 740 01:05:04,836 --> 01:05:06,663 Do you hear me? 741 01:05:09,215 --> 01:05:10,544 Well, do you?! 742 01:05:11,926 --> 01:05:13,836 You always take his side! 743 01:05:13,928 --> 01:05:16,680 This wouldn't have happened if we'd known! 744 01:05:16,764 --> 01:05:20,928 You can fuck off if you think I'm marryin' a Paki! 745 01:05:21,019 --> 01:05:23,640 Hey, it's not me mam's fault. 746 01:05:23,730 --> 01:05:25,604 Ah, just keep it shut. 747 01:05:25,690 --> 01:05:29,106 Do what Dad tells you, there's a good boy. 748 01:05:31,070 --> 01:05:34,024 Oh, what's the bastard point? 749 01:05:53,593 --> 01:05:56,926 Why can't we just talk to him? 750 01:05:57,013 --> 01:05:58,756 Don't you understand? 751 01:06:00,308 --> 01:06:04,721 He's never gonna give a shit about what you think. 752 01:06:04,812 --> 01:06:09,225 "I am your father, you do as I say!" 753 01:06:12,737 --> 01:06:15,275 And this is gonna solve everything? 754 01:06:16,532 --> 01:06:18,691 Did for our Nazir, didn't it? 755 01:06:24,165 --> 01:06:27,332 Abdul, come with me. 756 01:06:27,418 --> 01:06:29,874 I don't want what you want. 757 01:06:29,962 --> 01:06:31,955 What do you want? 758 01:06:32,048 --> 01:06:36,757 I want me family, and I don't want anyone hurt any more. 759 01:06:36,844 --> 01:06:38,469 Tariq, don't go! 760 01:06:38,554 --> 01:06:42,682 Maybe he'll be satisfied with just one of us getting married? 761 01:06:45,353 --> 01:06:47,144 I've had enough. 762 01:06:48,314 --> 01:06:49,939 I can't stay. 763 01:06:59,075 --> 01:07:01,400 - Where you goin'? - Nowhere. 764 01:07:02,578 --> 01:07:04,072 Wait for me! 765 01:07:06,040 --> 01:07:07,748 Where you goin'? 766 01:07:07,834 --> 01:07:10,503 - Nowhere. - I'm comin' with you. 767 01:07:13,548 --> 01:07:17,545 Tariq! Tariq, wait! Don't leave without me! 768 01:07:17,635 --> 01:07:19,960 For fuck's sake. 769 01:07:26,519 --> 01:07:28,642 They won't break us up. 770 01:07:29,897 --> 01:07:31,890 Let's elope! 771 01:07:31,983 --> 01:07:33,940 It'll be so romantic. 772 01:07:34,026 --> 01:07:37,063 We can't. I'm eloping on me own. 773 01:07:37,154 --> 01:07:40,239 You're getting married to someone else! 774 01:07:40,324 --> 01:07:43,111 No, I'm not. Well, that's why I'm going. 775 01:07:43,202 --> 01:07:46,286 That doesn't mean I was gonna marry you. 776 01:07:48,833 --> 01:07:52,877 Oh, stop scriking for fuck's sake, you mard arse. 777 01:07:52,962 --> 01:07:55,001 Saleem, get your change out! 778 01:08:32,668 --> 01:08:34,910 Stella, we're in hat paradise. 779 01:08:35,004 --> 01:08:37,755 Can I speak to Nazir Khan, please. 780 01:08:38,966 --> 01:08:41,255 I think they mean Mr Nigel. 781 01:08:44,638 --> 01:08:49,016 Honestly, flowers are all the rage this season. 782 01:08:49,101 --> 01:08:55,222 Trust me, darling. The style, the colour. Looks fabulous. 783 01:09:06,660 --> 01:09:08,487 Oh, fuckin' charmin'. 784 01:09:12,583 --> 01:09:17,375 D'you think you could, uh, put us up till I get sorted? 785 01:09:17,463 --> 01:09:19,290 What's goin' on? 786 01:09:21,133 --> 01:09:22,414 Tell him. 787 01:09:25,137 --> 01:09:27,130 Nigel, there you are. 788 01:09:27,222 --> 01:09:30,307 Mmh. Who are those dreadful girls out there? 789 01:09:30,392 --> 01:09:33,726 They are damaging the... Oh, hello. Who's this? 790 01:09:33,812 --> 01:09:37,477 Uh, these are two of my brothers, Tariq and Saleem. 791 01:09:37,566 --> 01:09:42,193 This is my sister, Meenah. Tariq wants to stay for a bit. 792 01:09:42,279 --> 01:09:44,438 You must! Are these yours? 793 01:09:44,531 --> 01:09:49,028 Yeah, but I'm still in two minds what I should do. 794 01:09:51,163 --> 01:09:55,742 0K, I'll leave you. But you're welcome to stay any time. 795 01:09:55,834 --> 01:09:58,372 Yeah, right. Nice one. Thanks. 796 01:10:02,633 --> 01:10:04,127 Who's he? 797 01:10:04,218 --> 01:10:07,254 - He's my friend. - Oh. 798 01:10:07,346 --> 01:10:09,303 Why's he talk funny? 799 01:10:09,389 --> 01:10:12,343 - He's my boss. - Oh. 800 01:10:12,434 --> 01:10:14,641 So, what's goin' on at home? 801 01:10:17,439 --> 01:10:19,017 Try that one. 802 01:10:20,400 --> 01:10:23,567 Etienne, get the car. We're going home. 803 01:10:27,950 --> 01:10:30,238 Can we stop for lunch? 804 01:10:30,327 --> 01:10:34,656 Can't wait to see Dad's face when he sees you! 805 01:10:34,748 --> 01:10:37,453 I'm not sure this is wise. 806 01:10:40,087 --> 01:10:42,625 Bloody hell, look at all them knobs! 807 01:10:42,714 --> 01:10:44,956 There's Myrna! Hey, Myrna! 808 01:10:45,050 --> 01:10:47,802 It's me, Peggy! 809 01:10:47,886 --> 01:10:51,801 - Keep your fucking trap shut! - Oh, sorry. 810 01:10:57,646 --> 01:10:59,224 Where is he, Maneer? 811 01:11:00,524 --> 01:11:02,600 Is that them at last?! 812 01:11:02,693 --> 01:11:05,444 - Nazir! - Mum! What's he done? 813 01:11:05,529 --> 01:11:08,020 You can't stay, Son! 814 01:11:08,115 --> 01:11:10,024 No, we've gotta sort it! 815 01:11:10,117 --> 01:11:13,782 It'll make things worse if your dad sees you. 816 01:11:13,870 --> 01:11:15,578 They're comin'! 817 01:11:15,664 --> 01:11:20,290 - Please, Son, just go, please! - What are you doing? 818 01:11:20,377 --> 01:11:23,876 - Your dad'll kill him. - Don't listen to her. 819 01:11:23,964 --> 01:11:25,838 You said you'd sort this! 820 01:11:25,924 --> 01:11:30,253 I can't, our kid. Me Mum's right, it'll make it worse. 821 01:11:30,345 --> 01:11:31,543 Nazir! 822 01:11:31,638 --> 01:11:34,722 - You've got my address? - Yeah, go. 823 01:11:34,808 --> 01:11:38,011 - If he touches you... - Just go, Son! 824 01:11:38,103 --> 01:11:40,179 I'll call soon, yeah? 825 01:11:41,898 --> 01:11:43,725 And you! 826 01:11:47,112 --> 01:11:48,855 Nazir! 827 01:11:56,329 --> 01:11:57,954 Nazir! 828 01:12:01,751 --> 01:12:04,124 What we gonna do now, Tariq? 829 01:12:05,338 --> 01:12:08,090 I don't care what you do, Stella. 830 01:12:27,986 --> 01:12:33,407 'This is almost like a victory roll by these Indian pilots. 831 01:12:33,491 --> 01:12:36,576 'They're so close, they're flying so low, 832 01:12:36,661 --> 01:12:39,781 'and they're meeting absolutely no opposition at all. 833 01:12:41,207 --> 01:12:43,165 'So on the 13th day...' 834 01:12:43,251 --> 01:12:46,371 Maneer? Off pucking TV. 835 01:12:48,548 --> 01:12:51,917 'With just 10 minutes of the Indian ultimatum...' 836 01:12:52,010 --> 01:12:53,718 Oh, thanks, cock. 837 01:12:53,803 --> 01:12:56,674 Why you wear bloody short skirt, Meenah? 838 01:12:58,725 --> 01:13:02,639 It's her school uniform. She has to wear it. 839 01:13:02,729 --> 01:13:05,350 She not in bloody school now! 840 01:13:07,442 --> 01:13:11,736 On Sunday, you wear sari Auntie Riffat send from Pakistan. 841 01:13:14,491 --> 01:13:17,029 Can't I wear me trouser suit? 842 01:13:17,118 --> 01:13:20,701 No bastard hear what I say?! You pucking deaf? 843 01:13:22,749 --> 01:13:25,074 No bloody look at your mum! 844 01:13:26,294 --> 01:13:28,536 She no bloody help you! 845 01:13:28,630 --> 01:13:30,622 I telling what to do! 846 01:13:32,008 --> 01:13:34,962 - Understand?! - All right. She heard. 847 01:13:38,139 --> 01:13:41,473 Bhentured, I fed up with you all, puckers! 848 01:13:42,894 --> 01:13:45,266 On Sunday, Mr Shah coming. 849 01:13:45,355 --> 01:13:50,432 If I not see you show respect, I pucking sort you all out! 850 01:13:51,861 --> 01:13:54,981 I no more playing bastard games with you! 851 01:14:25,812 --> 01:14:28,517 Whoa, Gunga Din! 852 01:14:28,606 --> 01:14:31,809 Drinking the white man's brew? 853 01:14:31,901 --> 01:14:33,977 What you doin' here, Abdul? 854 01:14:34,070 --> 01:14:36,442 It's me stag night. I'm gettin' married. 855 01:14:36,531 --> 01:14:37,729 Who to? 856 01:14:37,824 --> 01:14:39,567 I dunno. 857 01:14:39,659 --> 01:14:42,826 Me dad hasn't bothered introducin' us yet. 858 01:15:02,181 --> 01:15:03,925 Don't bloody starting, 859 01:15:05,268 --> 01:15:07,556 'cause I'm not in bloody mood. 860 01:15:10,148 --> 01:15:17,278 Look, Dad, we're fed up of being told what to do and where to go. 861 01:15:18,990 --> 01:15:23,402 I warning you, mister, I not bringing you up like this. 862 01:15:23,494 --> 01:15:26,697 Pakistani son always shows respect. 863 01:15:26,789 --> 01:15:29,280 Dad, I'm not Pakistani. 864 01:15:30,835 --> 01:15:34,667 I was born here. I speak English, not Urdu. 865 01:15:42,680 --> 01:15:48,968 Son, you no understand 'cause you... no listen to me. 866 01:15:49,061 --> 01:15:52,727 I trying to show you a good way to live. 867 01:15:52,815 --> 01:15:57,062 You no English. English people never accepting you. 868 01:15:58,279 --> 01:16:00,687 In Islam everyone equal, see? 869 01:16:00,781 --> 01:16:02,940 No black man, no white man. 870 01:16:03,034 --> 01:16:05,904 All Muslim - special community. 871 01:16:05,995 --> 01:16:08,747 I'm not saying it's not, Dad. 872 01:16:08,831 --> 01:16:13,374 I just think I've got a right to choose who I get married to. 873 01:16:13,461 --> 01:16:17,079 You want choose like Nazir? Lose everything? 874 01:16:17,173 --> 01:16:20,339 You want bloody English girl? They no good! 875 01:16:20,426 --> 01:16:25,005 They go with other men, drink alcohol, no look after. 876 01:16:28,643 --> 01:16:33,850 If English women are so bad, why did you marry me mam? 877 01:16:35,066 --> 01:16:37,853 Bastard! No go too far with me! 878 01:16:37,943 --> 01:16:39,983 Do what I tell you! 879 01:16:40,071 --> 01:16:43,855 Bas! You understand? 880 01:16:43,949 --> 01:16:45,859 You understanding?! 881 01:16:45,951 --> 01:16:48,027 I understand you. I understand. 882 01:16:48,120 --> 01:16:52,332 I'll do what you want. I'll do what you want. 883 01:16:57,254 --> 01:17:01,003 I will get married to a Pakistani. 884 01:17:01,092 --> 01:17:02,835 Good! 885 01:17:02,927 --> 01:17:05,797 And you know what I'll do then? 886 01:17:08,265 --> 01:17:11,551 I'll marry a fucking English woman as well. 887 01:17:13,896 --> 01:17:15,972 Just like my dad. 888 01:17:44,969 --> 01:17:49,346 Mam! Mam! The Pakis are 'ere! 889 01:17:50,724 --> 01:17:52,634 Right, here we go. 890 01:17:52,726 --> 01:17:54,719 Come on, everyone, parlour, quick. 891 01:17:57,731 --> 01:17:59,724 George, they're here! 892 01:18:02,528 --> 01:18:04,188 Right, come on. 893 01:18:06,532 --> 01:18:09,901 Let one in and the whole tribe turns up. 894 01:18:12,454 --> 01:18:14,862 - Salaam-alacum. - Earnest! 895 01:18:14,957 --> 01:18:18,657 - Eh? Bugger off, bugger off! - Earnest! 896 01:18:22,840 --> 01:18:26,624 - Salaam alacum, Mr Shah. - Waalacum-salaam. 897 01:18:26,719 --> 01:18:28,379 Ella, Mr Shah. 898 01:18:29,555 --> 01:18:30,717 Salaam-alacum. 899 01:18:30,806 --> 01:18:32,430 Waalacum-salaam. 900 01:18:32,516 --> 01:18:34,343 Salaam-alacum, Mrs Shah. 901 01:18:34,435 --> 01:18:37,056 Why's she talking like that? 902 01:18:38,689 --> 01:18:41,227 Would you like to come through? 903 01:18:51,285 --> 01:18:54,488 - Abdul, salaam-alacum. - Salaam-alacum. 904 01:18:54,580 --> 01:18:58,447 - Salaam-alacum. - Waalacum-salaam, Tariq, eh? 905 01:19:00,127 --> 01:19:02,036 Salaam-alacum. 906 01:19:02,129 --> 01:19:03,872 - Salaam-alacum. - Waalacum-salaam. 907 01:19:03,964 --> 01:19:06,372 - Salaam-alacum. - Waalacum-salaam. 908 01:19:27,404 --> 01:19:29,147 Sajid, come here. 909 01:19:29,239 --> 01:19:31,481 - Please. - Thank you. 910 01:19:34,953 --> 01:19:36,578 - Oof... - Is that too low? 911 01:19:36,663 --> 01:19:38,122 Uh... 912 01:19:59,770 --> 01:20:03,186 So, you found it all right, Mr Shah? 913 01:20:03,273 --> 01:20:06,891 Oh, yes. No problem. 914 01:20:08,403 --> 01:20:12,187 The thing is all these houses look the same... 915 01:20:12,282 --> 01:20:14,026 To me. 916 01:20:15,702 --> 01:20:18,822 Meenah, would you fetch the tea? 917 01:20:18,914 --> 01:20:20,657 Righty-ho. 918 01:20:28,882 --> 01:20:30,293 How old are you? 919 01:20:30,383 --> 01:20:34,167 Not old enough to get married, so don't ask me. 920 01:20:40,519 --> 01:20:43,555 I'm sorry about him, Mr Shah, he's, um... 921 01:20:45,607 --> 01:20:47,849 He's just been circumcised. 922 01:20:48,985 --> 01:20:50,266 Indeed. 923 01:20:56,827 --> 01:21:00,242 Sajid, go see if Saleem here yet. 924 01:21:01,998 --> 01:21:05,414 Ah, yes. Your college student. 925 01:21:07,504 --> 01:21:09,496 Studying to be an engineer. 926 01:21:09,589 --> 01:21:12,923 Oh, really? 927 01:21:21,101 --> 01:21:23,426 Ah, here's the tea. 928 01:21:29,985 --> 01:21:33,151 Where did you get this sari? 929 01:21:33,238 --> 01:21:35,277 Me Auntie Riffat in Pakistan. 930 01:21:35,365 --> 01:21:40,276 Wear shalwar khameeze, it will look much better than this. 931 01:21:41,454 --> 01:21:43,826 Her auntie said lots of girls 932 01:21:43,915 --> 01:21:46,038 are wearing saris in Islamabad, 933 01:21:46,126 --> 01:21:48,202 and she's quite well-to-do. 934 01:21:48,294 --> 01:21:50,453 Riffat bloody stupid. 935 01:21:50,547 --> 01:21:54,496 Even in Pakistan, women are getting too bloody moderns. 936 01:21:56,678 --> 01:21:59,347 Well, I think it looks lovely. 937 01:21:59,431 --> 01:22:04,342 Well, it's just not traditional dress in Pakistan, Mrs Khan. 938 01:22:04,436 --> 01:22:06,179 Tradition sees, Ella. 939 01:22:07,355 --> 01:22:09,063 Coo! Only me! 940 01:22:10,191 --> 01:22:11,191 Ooh! 941 01:22:12,318 --> 01:22:15,070 I didn't know you had visitors? 942 01:22:15,155 --> 01:22:18,820 Annie, this is my friend, Mr Shah. 943 01:22:18,908 --> 01:22:20,237 Hello. 944 01:22:20,326 --> 01:22:23,244 His daughters go be married Abdul, Tariq. 945 01:22:24,456 --> 01:22:27,207 Ooh, is it these two? 946 01:22:27,292 --> 01:22:31,704 Oh, they're bleedin' gorgeous! 947 01:22:31,796 --> 01:22:34,168 You're lucky you two, aren't you? 948 01:22:34,257 --> 01:22:37,424 Landin' a couple of belters like these. 949 01:22:37,510 --> 01:22:39,135 Meenah. 950 01:22:46,561 --> 01:22:52,350 Oh, Mrs Khan. I'm very proud your sons are joining my family. 951 01:22:52,442 --> 01:22:54,767 You've brought them up respectful. 952 01:22:54,861 --> 01:22:57,862 You're right there. They're a credit to her. 953 01:22:59,032 --> 01:23:00,692 And George. 954 01:23:00,783 --> 01:23:03,820 Oh, yeah, they're good boys. 955 01:23:03,912 --> 01:23:05,489 Bring no trouble. 956 01:23:05,580 --> 01:23:08,616 They'll do anything for you, Mr Shah. 957 01:23:08,708 --> 01:23:11,744 Good Samaritans they are, just like in Bible. 958 01:23:13,046 --> 01:23:15,003 Mam! Get off! 959 01:23:15,089 --> 01:23:18,672 Maneer, cock, go and see what they're up to. 960 01:23:25,850 --> 01:23:29,301 - Shut up! - The state of them two! 961 01:23:29,395 --> 01:23:33,559 The one with the teeth's got a moustache! 962 01:23:33,649 --> 01:23:36,105 Tariq's is like Quasimodo! 963 01:23:36,194 --> 01:23:38,186 Oh, kids, eh? 964 01:23:38,279 --> 01:23:39,524 Mam! 965 01:23:39,614 --> 01:23:42,864 - Were yours like that? - No. 966 01:23:42,950 --> 01:23:45,868 I believe in firm discipline. 967 01:23:45,953 --> 01:23:48,195 Especially in a non-Pakistani environment. 968 01:23:48,289 --> 01:23:52,785 Well, I think you can be too harsh, don't you, Annie? 969 01:23:52,877 --> 01:23:54,502 Oh, aye, yeah. 970 01:23:54,587 --> 01:23:59,664 0ur Peter knows how far he can go before I knock him out. 971 01:23:59,759 --> 01:24:02,084 Not just me husband, Mrs Shah! 972 01:24:22,114 --> 01:24:24,950 Well, I'd better be going. 973 01:24:25,034 --> 01:24:27,192 And congratulations, again. 974 01:24:27,286 --> 01:24:29,113 Ta-ra, George. 975 01:24:35,294 --> 01:24:39,339 You'd better get changed, they're dying to meet you. 976 01:24:39,423 --> 01:24:41,048 That's cheatin'! 977 01:24:41,133 --> 01:24:43,126 That the famous sculpture? 978 01:24:54,689 --> 01:24:57,014 What you gonna do with that? 979 01:24:57,108 --> 01:25:00,274 I'm not gonna do anything with it. 0i! 980 01:25:00,361 --> 01:25:02,104 What is it? 981 01:25:02,196 --> 01:25:06,146 It's an example of female exploitation in art. 982 01:25:06,242 --> 01:25:08,531 Mrs Khan, how do you manage 983 01:25:08,619 --> 01:25:13,577 with so many children and such little space? 984 01:25:15,459 --> 01:25:19,587 I've got three double beds, and a single for Meenah. 985 01:25:21,757 --> 01:25:24,924 But where will you put my daughters? 986 01:25:25,010 --> 01:25:29,886 One in the attic and one on top of the chippie with Abdul. 987 01:25:29,974 --> 01:25:32,809 Don't worry, it's very roomy. 988 01:25:35,354 --> 01:25:37,311 Wouldn't it be more convenient 989 01:25:37,398 --> 01:25:40,601 if your sons were to live with us? 990 01:25:42,403 --> 01:25:46,447 I thought daughters-in-law lived with their husband's family? 991 01:25:48,200 --> 01:25:51,035 Wouldn't you be grateful for the space? 992 01:25:51,120 --> 01:25:52,744 I know I would. 993 01:25:57,626 --> 01:26:03,083 Excuse me, I'll, um... go and see what's happened to those kids. 994 01:26:09,638 --> 01:26:13,339 You should've been here an hour ago. Where's me cigs? 995 01:26:13,434 --> 01:26:15,723 Look what's in the box, Mam. 996 01:26:15,811 --> 01:26:17,353 Oh! 997 01:26:24,528 --> 01:26:27,315 You dirty little bastard. 998 01:26:27,406 --> 01:26:28,900 Mam, it's Art. 999 01:26:28,991 --> 01:26:32,775 I'll Art you, you dirty little sod. 1000 01:26:32,870 --> 01:26:35,871 I'll burn the bleedin' thing! 1001 01:26:35,956 --> 01:26:38,364 - No! - Give it here! 1002 01:26:42,087 --> 01:26:45,337 You're pulling all the hair ouuutttt! 1003 01:26:50,763 --> 01:26:52,257 - Ahh! - Waah! 1004 01:26:53,432 --> 01:26:55,425 What is this thing?! Move it! 1005 01:26:55,517 --> 01:26:57,344 Take it away from me! 1006 01:27:00,314 --> 01:27:02,639 I am so sorry, Mrs Shah. 1007 01:27:02,733 --> 01:27:06,316 The hair came off in me hand. 1008 01:27:06,403 --> 01:27:09,903 This is an insult to me and my family. 1009 01:27:09,990 --> 01:27:12,197 I will never allow my daughters 1010 01:27:12,284 --> 01:27:15,320 to marry into this family of half-breeds! 1011 01:27:15,412 --> 01:27:20,323 At least they're not friggin' inbred like them monstrosities. 1012 01:27:20,417 --> 01:27:23,454 - Ella! - Who d'you think you are? 1013 01:27:23,545 --> 01:27:27,875 Tellin' me my house isn't good enough for your daughters. 1014 01:27:27,966 --> 01:27:32,509 Your daughters aren't good enough for my sons, or my house. 1015 01:27:32,596 --> 01:27:34,921 And if I hear another word, 1016 01:27:35,015 --> 01:27:38,099 I'll stick that fanny over your bastard head. 1017 01:27:41,897 --> 01:27:43,605 Your wife's a disgrace. 1018 01:27:44,733 --> 01:27:46,690 Ah, go on, piss off. 1019 01:27:46,777 --> 01:27:49,268 Go on, sling your bleedin' hook! 1020 01:27:49,363 --> 01:27:53,407 Go on, piss off! Piss off out of my house! 1021 01:27:53,492 --> 01:27:56,327 And take Laurel and Hardy with you! 1022 01:28:07,256 --> 01:28:09,877 You bastard bitch. 1023 01:28:09,967 --> 01:28:12,754 You bring a shame on our family. 1024 01:28:14,429 --> 01:28:17,003 No, you should be ashamed, George. 1025 01:28:18,684 --> 01:28:22,100 'Cause you're not interested in these kids being happy. 1026 01:28:22,187 --> 01:28:26,019 You just wanna prove what a great man you are. 1027 01:28:26,108 --> 01:28:31,446 Because you're ashamed of me and you're ashamed of our kids, 1028 01:28:31,530 --> 01:28:34,199 and you won't even admit it. 1029 01:28:34,282 --> 01:28:37,283 - Don't you dare! - Don't touch her! Bastard! 1030 01:28:37,369 --> 01:28:39,527 No, Dad! Get off her! 1031 01:28:39,621 --> 01:28:41,744 Leave her alone! Leave her alone! 1032 01:28:41,832 --> 01:28:43,456 - Bitch! - Get off! 1033 01:28:43,542 --> 01:28:45,748 You will not touch her again. 1034 01:28:45,836 --> 01:28:47,912 No talk like that. 1035 01:28:48,005 --> 01:28:49,664 No, it's over, finished! 1036 01:28:49,756 --> 01:28:52,426 Sajid, will you pack it in?! 1037 01:28:57,347 --> 01:29:00,681 Are you happy? Is this what you wanted? 1038 01:29:00,767 --> 01:29:03,934 I know what is best for you all. 1039 01:29:05,939 --> 01:29:08,347 Maneer, you understand me. 1040 01:29:11,653 --> 01:29:13,278 Son? 1041 01:29:13,363 --> 01:29:14,561 Got the message? 1042 01:29:14,656 --> 01:29:17,064 Bastard! All your fault! 1043 01:29:17,159 --> 01:29:18,736 Calm down, right? 1044 01:29:27,836 --> 01:29:31,003 I only want to help you, Son. 1045 01:29:31,089 --> 01:29:33,758 I no want to hurt you. 1046 01:29:40,640 --> 01:29:41,755 Ella... 1047 01:29:41,850 --> 01:29:46,559 No, just go, George. Just go. 1048 01:29:46,646 --> 01:29:47,975 Ella...? 1049 01:30:07,042 --> 01:30:09,877 Don't cry, it wasn't your fault. 1050 01:30:25,935 --> 01:30:27,727 Salaam-alacum, Mr Khan. 1051 01:30:32,025 --> 01:30:33,733 Waalacum-salaam. 1052 01:30:40,116 --> 01:30:42,572 Should've kicked his head in, Abdul. 1053 01:30:42,660 --> 01:30:45,448 I couldn't hit me dad. 1054 01:30:45,538 --> 01:30:47,531 That bastard's not a father. 1055 01:30:47,624 --> 01:30:51,538 Pack it in, you get on me bleedin' nerves. 1056 01:30:51,628 --> 01:30:57,333 If it's not you, it's your dad, if it's not your dad, it's you. 1057 01:30:57,425 --> 01:30:59,833 You're nothing but bleedin' trouble. 1058 01:31:01,387 --> 01:31:03,878 And you... 1059 01:31:03,973 --> 01:31:06,013 Pablo bleedin' Picasso. 1060 01:31:07,685 --> 01:31:11,979 That "bastard" that you are talking about is my husband. 1061 01:31:12,065 --> 01:31:17,225 And whatever you might think of him he is still your father. 1062 01:31:17,320 --> 01:31:21,733 If I hear another foul-mouthed word, I will have you. 1063 01:31:22,909 --> 01:31:24,368 Where's Sajid? 1064 01:31:24,452 --> 01:31:26,528 He ran out. 1065 01:31:26,621 --> 01:31:28,744 I ripped his hood off. 1066 01:31:32,502 --> 01:31:34,494 Well, it's a start. 1067 01:31:41,594 --> 01:31:43,919 Sajid, come on out. 1068 01:31:44,013 --> 01:31:46,220 Get stuffed. 1069 01:31:46,307 --> 01:31:48,300 What have I done? 1070 01:31:48,393 --> 01:31:52,011 You shouted at me for hitting me dad. 1071 01:31:52,105 --> 01:31:54,856 I know, I'm sorry. 1072 01:31:56,109 --> 01:31:57,852 Come on out, please. 1073 01:32:05,243 --> 01:32:07,034 Here. 1074 01:32:09,247 --> 01:32:12,034 Well? D'you want it or not? 1075 01:32:14,877 --> 01:32:16,158 No. 1076 01:32:18,631 --> 01:32:21,383 Well, stick it in bin, then, eh? 1077 01:33:11,267 --> 01:33:13,058 Want a cup of tea? 1078 01:33:22,486 --> 01:33:24,526 I'll have half a cup. 1079 01:33:37,335 --> 01:33:39,873 - All right, Stella? - Piss off. 1080 01:33:39,962 --> 01:33:41,456 Stella, hey... 1081 01:33:42,965 --> 01:33:45,587 Hiya, Saleem. What you doin' later? 1082 01:33:45,676 --> 01:33:47,669 - Drawing. - Can I come? 1083 01:33:47,762 --> 01:33:49,754 Earnest, look what I got! 1084 01:33:49,847 --> 01:33:51,887 Whoa! 1085 01:33:51,974 --> 01:33:55,308 - What is it? - Dunno. 1086 01:33:55,394 --> 01:33:58,099 Bastard, you said you wouldn't show anyone! 1087 01:33:58,189 --> 01:34:01,558 - Oi! Mong boy! - I'll fuckin' have ya! 70781

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