All language subtitles for Wellington.Paranormal.S01E05.WEBRip.x264-ION10

So we've had calls from a number of
the residents in these local flats

about something unusual,
unexplained possibly ghostly.

On the lookout for a pale,
translucent figure floating eerily
in the back of the car park.

O'Leary! There!

So, um, we did respond to a call-out
of something that was,
perhaps, supernatural,

like a ghost floating around.

But our findings have determined
that the nature of the entity

was not actually of
supernatural origin.
No, it was a, um,

it was a plastic bag.

(EERIE PIANO MUSIC)

Yeah, that's correct. It was
a um, a plastic shopping bag.

I mean, I guess that's the thing
with the nature of this job and our
work for Wellington Paranormal.

It's not always, uh,
paranormal call-outs. In fact, um...

most of the time,
it's not paranormal.

Could have tased it.
Y No. Put that back.

You're always saying
"Don't tase stuff."

(TASER DISCHARGES)
(GROANS)
Oh my God.

This is the fourth time you've
done that! Hang on. Yeah, I know.

STAMMERING: Pull over.
I'm pulling over. Yep, yep.

Um, so we've had reports
from the local hospital here.

Staff had reported a suspicious
number of blood bags have gone
missing from the blood bank area.

You know, it could be some
sort of a stocktaking error,
but it could also be foul play.

I mean, I'm certainly thinking
that it could be some sort of
high-performance sportspeople

that are coming in and stealing
that blood to give them the
advantage they need to win.

I mean, certainly, that's cheating.

I mean, it's not the way
to get ahead.

I mean, when I was a sportsperson,
I could have chosen to cheat. But
I didn't. It's not the way to do it.

But had I chosen to do that,
I probably could have
come away with a gold.

I reckon it was vampires.

Staff believe that the thief
may have escaped the blood bank
area via the internal door

and through the car park.
O'Leary!

Evidence. Blood.

Bag it, Minogue.

It's already in a bag. Otherwise, it
would just sploosh all over my head.

No, I mean, like, put that bag
in an evidence bag.

Put this bag in
another bag got it.

I mean, obviously a blood bag loose
in a car park doesn't look good.

Could be some sort of delivery
error, but certainly, we need to
be on the lookout for a thief.

I mean, if they make a comeback
or they come back here,

we might be able to catch them
red-handed if there's
a spillage, you know.

See that? Obviously cos, you know,
blood being a substance that's
red in appearance makes pe

(YELPS) O'Leary!

(COUGHS, GROANS)
What's happened?

I was trying to squeeze the
blood bag in to the much smaller
evidence bag. Can you help me up?

Come on.
It's got blood on it.

OK, hang on. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I shouldn't have stood in there.
Maybe if you hold you hold

two hands.
OK, yep.

It's not gonna Ooh.

No, just lean forward
when I pull you.

Ready?
Yep.

Maybe if you go under my arms.
Under my arms.

Don't use your back like a Yep.

Uh, so the nurse here told us
that the potential thief was
seen gliding down the hallway,

but, for whatever reason, the
security cams didn't pick it up.
So, I mean, that

O'Leary? Couldn't find any
more evidence out there. OK.

There's nothing.
Excuse me, again.

Oh, hi.
Hey. Oh, don't worry.
It's not my blood.

Oh, no, I didn't I didn't
brutalise anyone. People think I...

I didn't brutalise anyone! Minogue.
I didn't brutalise anyone.

I don't think No one thinks that.
Neither did she. No, certainly not.

Um, so could you just tell us
who has access to the blood bank?

Hi, I'm Nick. I've been a blood bank
officer for two months now.

Sir, are you aware that 19 bags of
blood were stolen this evening?

(HISSES)

Yep.

Mate, do you know if
blood is combustible? What?

Well, what I mean by that is
is it possible that the 19 bags of
blood... exploded into smithereens,

and then would those smithereens
then be naked to the human eye?
Minogue, um...

WHISPERS: That doesn't make
any sense whatsoever.
(HISSES)

(COUGHS, IMITATES SNEEZING)

Are you... Are you OK?
I've just got that flu
that's going around.

I haven't seen that flu
going around.
(COUGHS)

OK, look. You've got access to this
room, OK? You know, there's
blood going missing, so...

I mean, what are we meant to think?
What would I want to do
with 19 bags of blood?

What would you want to do
with 19 bags of blood? Save lives.

That's quite a good answer, actually.
And how did you know it was 19?

You just told me.
No, I didn't.

You literally just said
"19 bags of blood went missing."
Did I?

Yeah, at the start you said
"19 bags of blood".
Actual quote.

I work here, so I know
most things that happen.

We'd just like to take you down
to the station, Nick, OK? Ask you
a couple of questions. All right?

I didn't do anything.

OK. Well, we'll get to the bottom of
that once we ask you some questions.
We just need to get a statement, OK?

You've got the wrong guy.
Hey, look, mate,
you're not Obi-Wan Kenobi, OK?

We need to go down to
the copper shop, have a bit
of a chitty-chat, OK?

Just... just let me go, eh?

(UNSETTLING MUSIC)

Yes, OK. No, yeah, you're right. OK.
You, um,... Sorry to bother you.
Are you serious?

Sorry, mate. You have
a great night, eh?
So I'm innocent and shit?

Have a good day. Thank you.
See you later.

That's literally
never worked before.

So it turns out that the blood bank
officer is not a person of interest
in this case.

Certainly, we will be investigating
further, but for now,

we have no reason to believe that
this was a theft or even that this
case is paranormal in any way.

(BAT SQUEAKS)
Or even that anything,
um, happened at all. Mm.

It's the other one, Minogue.
It's the other button.
(CAR UNLOCKS)

And lastly, special thanks
to Officers Jones, Savali,
Michaelson, Smith, Folatai,

Bracewell, Ward, Qing, Yates,
Parker, Donovan, Laupepe and Solid

for their hard work out
in the harbour today.

These fine police
people all worked together

and braved the conditions in
response to a call-out about a baby
in distress out in the harbour.

Well done.
(APPLAUSE)

As we all know, it turned out
to be a towel, but, uh,
what if it was a baby, you know?

That towel could have been a real
danger to shipping got caught up
in a propeller. You never know.

Ah, Minogue. What happened to you?
Were you shot in the line of fire?
No, sir.

Oh, no. He was trying to fit a bag
of blood into another bag

which was way too small
to possibly fit the first bag.

Right, clean that up. That's
no way to keep a uniform. Yes, sir.

Uh, we still have
13 unsolved murders.

I'm gonna divvy those up later
on today. All right. Dismissed.

Uh, Minogue. O'Leary.

(KEYPAD BEEPS)
Uh, just holding for
fingerprint analysis, guys.

(MIMICS COMPUTER WHIRRING)
Finger analysis complete.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

What's the status update on that
ghost outside the fish and chip
shop?

OK. That turns out it was
just a plastic bag, sir. Mm-hm.

Do you know of the
Japanese tales of the Yokai?

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

Spirits or demons.
Sometimes vengeful.

They take the form of people,
animals, even inanimate objects.

I'm talking about scary umbrellas.

Possessed futons.

I believe that what you saw
may in fact have been a...

Oh. That's just a normal
plastic bag, isn't it? Mm.

Yep.
Um, that's all right.
I'm gonna file it anyway.

(FILING CABINET ROLLS, SLAMS SHUT)

Any further development on the, uh,
missing blood bags from
Wellington Hospital?

Uh, O'Leary and I investigated,
sir, and we've come up with, um,
absolutely nothing.

I... have a theory.

(HISSES)

What are you d what is that?
What are you doing?
(MUMBLES INCOHERENTLY)

Pardon?
(CLEARS THROAT)

Vampires.
Oh. Yeah, I thought that
to begin with, sir, but...

I mean, we interviewed the
leading suspect and came back
with nothing suspicious.

You sure he wasn't a vampire?
He just wasn't remotely suspicious.

He was He was too normal,
if anything.

Did he have fangs?
It's hard to remember. He might
have had little tiny ones, perhaps.

Vampire. Did he glamour you?
Like, give us a glamorous makeover?
Nope. Not on my watch. No.

No, no. Uh, glamouring is a hypnotic
form of sorcery, or spell. It's a
power that's innate in vampires.

They can use it to charm people
or even erase your memory.

Nah, I'd remember
something like that.

And even if he perhaps didn't,
I certainly would remember that.

I want you to get back to that
hospital and interview that guy
from the blood bank again.

I think you may have been glamoured.

Still think we'd remember it.

We'll Yep, we'll go back.

(DISTANT CHANTING)
Uh, we were on our way
back to the hospital

for some further questioning when
we got a call-out to this park.

Seems some of the neighbours
have reported hearing
satanic-sounding chanting.

(CHANTING CONTINUES)
Hey, guys.
I can't see a barbecue. Bring meat?

Hello.
Sausage sizz oh.

What are you guys doing out here
in the middle of the night?

It's almost, uh, it's
almost midnight, guys.
We're just, um...

Just chanting.
Just normal chanting stuff.

Can you just lift your hood
a bit, sir, please? You?

Just hold on to this.
(CHANTING STOPS)

Keep going round. Don't chant,
but keep going round.

Oh.
Huh.

We were just coming to see you
at the hospital, actually. Yeah.

Oh, cool.
Yeah, you were the guy
with the, uh, stolen blood.

I'm innocent though, eh?
Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
No, you're innocent.

Really? Yeah, yeah.
That's awesome.

So what's going on here? Are you
guys having a, uh, you're having
a drink, are you?

Yeah, I guess you could say that.
What's with the uh, the cloaks?
Oh, nah. That's, um,...

just role-playing. It's like
a Dungeons and Dragons thing.

This must be a, uh,
different version, is it?
It's the, um, Lower Hutt version.

Wait a second. Who's this?

Hello. What are you what are you
doing tied to that stick there?
Are you OK?

He's... He's definitely OK.
OK, yeah. Well, I want
to hear his answer.

Um, I'm actually just I was hopin
that someone would come and save me
or just help me down

Um, everything is fine right now.
Everything's actually fine
right now. I'm OK.

I mean, I asked to be put on this
stake, and I'm not cold. I'm not
afraid. I'm really looking forward

Don't Don't Don't improvise.
You don't want someone to save you?

We had a question for you, mate.
He's fine.
Did you give us a makeover?

Eh?
Nah, nothing. Forget about it.

This guy looks a bit cold, OK?
He could probably do with one of
those cloaks at some stage soon.

And, I mean, obviously it is quite
late, but if any children come
along here at this time of night,

it's not gonna be good, is it? No.
I mean Don't do that, Minogue.

Um, so maybe just have a think about
this guy. Maybe, you know, include
him more in the circle bit.

Yeah, the flames well,
he's the centre of it.
Uh, OK. Great.

Right, well, we'll leave you to it.
Right, and just make sure you take
your rubbish with you, OK?

Yeah, of course.
Don't go leaving a bloody
mess all over the place.

And I would just keep that
chanting down to a minimum, OK?
Yeah, of course. We'll be quiet.

Yep.
Can we just hear that?

Quiet.
(MUMBLED CHANTING)

A little bit louder.
No, no. I think that was good. Do
you not you don't do the chanting?

No, I'm just naked.
OK. Have a good night.
Good night!

Storm in a teacup, eh?
Yeah, you never know, do you?

It was weird seeing that guy
from the hospital again, wasn't it?
It was weird seeing that other guy.

Yeah. It wasn't paranormal,
though, was it?

Nah, it was more abnormal.

I guess that's the job, though,
isn't it?

Sometimes it's normal,
sometimes it's abnormal.

Copy that. Look at this
freaky-looking clown. What the...

I don't like that.
He can see you.
I don't like it.

He can see you. Look. Look how he's
looking at you. Slow down and look
how he's looking at you.

Eugh.
Oh, God. It's another one.

This must be some
kind of crime, is it?
Well, jaywalking, yes.

Times two.
Pass me the thing.

ECHOING THROUGH LOUDSPEAKER: Excuse
me. Return to the footpath, please.
Did you spike my coffee, O'Leary?

Oh, what is this, now?
He's doing the Running Man.
Is that a clown thing?

He'd better not touch the car.
ECHOING THROUGH LOUDSPEAKER: Do
that, but towards the footpath, sir.

He's running on the spot, but he
needs to be running... over to the
r whoa.

What?
Whoa.

And now there's even
more of them jaywalking.
There's multiple crimes.

Oh, God. Now what's this?
(CLOWN CAR HORN HONKS)

Wha They can't do that.
More clowns. More clowns, O'Leary.

ECHOING: Stop. Stop the car.
Police, stop.
Don't say 'please' to them.

'Police, stop.'
'Please stop.'
'Police!'

Look, anyway, this is getting weird.
OK, look, that is... Now where are
they going?

This definitely
ECHOING: Excuse me.
Stay there. Stay in the car.

(CLOWN CAR HORN HONKS)
They're going. They're driving off,
now. Let's just

Turn on the thing.
Yeah, turn the lights on. OK?
Yep. What are we gonna do?

Oh, God. Now there's more they're
all of them are coming now. What is
what is going on?

ECHOING: All of you,
just stay still, please.

Yep, lock the doors. Lock the doors.
What Is there some sort of weird,
disturbing circus in town?

O'Leary. Look at that one.
He's walking weird.
I don't want to look at that one.

I don't even like it.
There's too many of them, O'Leary!
This is not funny.

I'm not even watching. I don't wanna
watch it. It's making me feel sick.
There's too may of them, O'Leary.

ECHOING: Hey, get off of the car!
Get away from the car!

Get in the car!
Now where are they going?
Call for backup.

Put the lights on.
Call for backup. The lights
are on. Put the lights back on.

He's driving along
with the door open.

ECHOING: Shut the door!
That is completely unsafe!
Unacceptable.

OK, this is a traffic infringement.
They've been jaywalking.
They've been dancing on the road.

Where's the siren? Put the thing on.

It's under here.
No, the big the noise.

Hang on.
(CAR HORN BEEPS)
ECHOING: Pull over, please.

(CAR HORN BEEPS)

Uh, so what we have here is a large
number of incredibly creepy
and disturbing clowns,

um, paying no attention to the law.
Mm, mm, mm. There's actually
a worldwide trend of sightings

of these creepy, freaky clowns,
and it's um, it's just disappoint

that it's made its way
all the way to Wellington.

The other thing is, obviously,
this is not a paranormal case,

um, but the maximum number of
clowns or people that should
be in that small car is five,

um, and I think they had at least,
I think, 16 clowns
getting into that vehicle,

and that's completely unsafe.
I'm glad it's my week
with the Taser.

But, I mean, obviously, we just need
to get them out of the car and have
a good chat to them

about, you know, just, some of
their actions tonight were just
completely, um, irresponsible.

We should get these clowns down
to the station anyway.

I think we're gonna have
to book those clowns.

I don't know how we're gonna get all
those clowns in our car. It'll take
multiple trips.

And they'll just be clowning around.
(CLOWN CAR ENGINE STARTS UP)

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Excuse me. Hang on.
Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

No. Come on, guys. Back you come.
Come here! Guys.

Where's our car? H Here.
Guys.
Come here!

Get the These clowns are
making us look like clowns.

I've got it! I've got it!

Got it! I've got it!
I'll get the car.
I've got it.

I've got it.

We should have got in the car.
Um, obviously, that was a mistake
chasing the clown car.

(CLOWN CAR HORN HONKS)
I mean, we did a good job,

but we really should have got
into the patrol vehicle.

We probably would have got them
by now if we had done that.

Where is our car?

Where's our car?

So we haven't made it
to the hospital yet.

We will get there, but
we've been called out to a cemetery.

(GASPS)
Go that way. Sorry.

Another possible ghost sighting.
Yeah, there have been several
witnesses who report seeing

a number of ghosts having
conversations in and
amongst the gravestones.

Just chatting to each other, um,
which is pretty strange, but who
knows what to expect from ghosts?

Hello? Anybody there?

It's the police.
We have pepper spray.

Pepper spray?
That's body spray, Minogue.
We have body spray.

Smells bad.
(GIRLS MURMUR INCOHERENTLY)
Hello.

Stop police terror.
Police-free zone.

What have you got left
to do on Earth?
What are you talking about?

Let me see the pad, Minogue.
(PAPER RIPPING)

That says 'Goths', not 'ghosts'.
'A group of Goths seen conferring
around the gravestones.'

I could never read this handwriting.
Minogue, that's
That's your handwriting.

Well, I know that. I can tell.

Because I can't read it.
What do you guys want from us?
We're just...

minding our own business.
What are you actually doing
hanging around in a cemetery

at this time of night?
We're just, like, rejecting
normal society and stuff,

and I live next door
with my mum and dad.
We were both following this guy.

He was handing out party flyers, and
he looked... pretty pale and freaky.
Yeah.

Around here, somewhere?

Actually, that's him over there.
That's great. We'll have a chat
with him. Thank you very much.

The legal system should be
against the law.

- Go that way, Minogue.
- (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

Excuse me!
NICK: So, you know Keith, who's
got the mobile karaoke business?

Oh, yup.
Hello!
So he's bringing the truck,

and it's gonna be great.
Awesome.
Uh, look, my Uber's here, so I...

Is that the guy...
(HISSES)

G'day, mate.
Oh, hey, man.
You look familiar.

Nah.
Sir. Sir, we've met
before. Remember?

No.
We were actually just coming
to visit you at the hospital.

Nope.
That's a coincidence, eh?
Yeah, you could say that.

Uh, what's in those bags?
Uh, just pizza.

He's saying things, but he just
keeps on running away faster.

Look, there's werewolves behind you.
What?

Um... I don't know.

(HISSES)

Stop there!
Sir!
You need to stop!

Can't go any further, can you?
Freeze!

Wait there.
It wasn't me.

What the hell? He can't do that.

(GRUNTS)
Don't Oh. Away!

No, come on. Down you get.
No. You're hurting my shin splints.

You're making a fool
of yourself, mate.
Get off! Go away, pigs!

Tie his shoelaces together!
OK, OK, OK, OK, OK.

Yeah, I'm just, um... I'm just going
to the hospital to drop them off.

Via a cemetery in the
middle of the night?
Yep.

I wasn't born yesterday, mate.
If I was, I'd still be a baby.

What are these? Party flyers?
"Come to my party"?
Oh, that's That's not my flyer.

OK. Well, that's a big photo of
your face, OK, on the middle of
this flyer, and then it says

"Nick's vampire party".

You know, so, obviously, you're
stealing this blood to, uh,
spare innocent victims' lives.

The best part is that you can put
a straw through the bag and
you can drink it like a juicie.

Whoa. There you go. Really good to
just pass around at a party or
something. Easy to drink.

Well, I guess that is
actually quite clever.
Pretty clever.

So... can you let me go?
Nah!

No.

No, look. You know what?
You're under arrest, OK,
for stealing hospital property.

OK? And also for making
a false statement.

What does that mean?
Thank you.

What's this? Discrimination against
vampires, now? Are we the minority?
No.

It's fine to, uh, just take the
blood from a human person.
That's all fair game.

But stealing from a hospital?
No way.

They need that for emergencies.

Just cos I'm a brown vampire walking
through a cemetery on a Monday night
with a bag of blood...

like, 18 bags of blood, I
get pulled over.

You know, this is
just discrimination because...

um, I'm not a white vampire,
I guess.

So, if you guys are watching this,
um, #BatLivesMatter.

Ouch.
A bit tighter. There you go.

We're in Taita right now, actually.
Mm.

Turn around and look at me.
I think we'd better get him
an isolated cell.

Yes, agreed.
Actually, no. This is me right here.

Look, um, we're taking you
to the cells, OK? You'll be
spending the night there.

No, I can't. Like, the sun's gonna
come up, and I'm gonna burn,
so I'll just get off here.

Look, you've passed my
Mate, we're not falling for
that this time, all right?

We're not facing towards you, OK?
You can see there's no
eye contact, right?

Excuse me, you need to put
those back on, OK, sir?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Just put your handcuffs back on.
Hey. Stop hassling me,

pull the car over
and let me get out.
All right. Um...

just up here?
Yeah. Just here behind this van.
Thank you very much.

Am I able to get the stuff
out of the boot as well?
Of course you are, mate.

Let me help you with that, eh?
Nah, it's all good, officer.
Oh, and by the way,

you're not gonna remember a single
thing that's happened today.

You're not gonna remember that
tonight happened or anything.
OK.

(CAR DOOR SHUTS)
He was a nice guy.
What guy?

I don't I don't know.
(BOOT SLAMS SHUT)

Cheers, guys.

He looks vaguely familiar.
Yeah, he was just touching the
police car. Should we follow him?

Nah. I think he's just one
of those Deliver Easy guys.
(SCOFFS) Quiet night, eh?

I reckon.
Abnormally quiet.

Yeah. Certainly not paranormal.
No. Not paranormal at all.

(CAR ENGINE WHIRRS)

(FILING CABINET ROLLS, CREAKS)

(PHONE RINGS IN DISTANCE)

(HORROR MUSIC)

(GROWLS SOFTLY)

(GROWLS, ROARS)
Wha ! (CHOKES)

(MUFFLED GROANING)

(PANTING)

(THUMPING FROM BIN)

I knew it!

Yokai!

Captions (c) SBS Australia 2018