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Today is a good day...
because I've got plans.
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Big plans.
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BILL WILLIAMS 3-6-1959 5-31-2005
4
00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:03,798
You know they say,
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00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:07,271
that if you spend your last dollar
on the last day of your life...
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00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:09,190
it's perfect.
7
00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:15,319
I have no... loose ends,
no job, no family, no friends.
8
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But don't get me wrong...
I had a good run, I really did.
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I was in love once,
even married for awhile...
10
00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:25,994
but that didn't work out...
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00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:29,152
and, uh... I don't know
I think we grew apart.
12
00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:31,914
Although my ex-wife would probably say
it had something to do with me...
13
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,390
hookin' up with one
of my skanky co-stars.
14
00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:35,914
Which technically...
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00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,992
I wasn't 'cause we
were rehearsing a love scene...
16
00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:39,434
in my trailer.
17
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:45,520
See I used to be an actor.
18
00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:46,158
And I was proud...
19
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:47,071
of it. I even did a big movie,
20
00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:49,914
with Arnold Schwarzenegger
and Jamie Lee Curtis once.
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00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:54,277
But, that was like eleven years ago so.
22
00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:59,512
You know I planned every detail
of today perfectly.
23
00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:01,956
I even wrote a letter
to the paper. You know.
24
00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:05,158
Enclosed my last 8X10 just...
in case they wanna use it.
25
00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:09,471
I wonder if they'll show me...
at the dead people Oscar montage.
26
00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:11,274
That would be sweet.
27
00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:16,153
And I've also donated
all my organs to science.
28
00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:19,119
And then I will be cremated
immediately because,
29
00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:22,113
I don't want any medical
students makin' fun of my penis.
30
00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:26,117
You know. I think of things like that.
31
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:35,629
You want my clothes?
32
00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:39,079
No, not these clothes.
I got some nice ones inside.
33
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,037
Do you want 'em?
34
00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:41,800
Yeah I guess so.
35
00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:51,397
Have a seat.
36
00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:58,159
You know what? I'm not gonna need
these where I'm goin', either.
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00:02:58,800 --> 00:02:59,916
I'll be right out.
38
00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:10,559
Here ya go. Here's some nice bedding.
39
00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:13,320
Here are some clothes...
40
00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:15,877
and a very nice watch.
41
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:17,679
Oh, thank you very much.
42
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:19,111
Good luck to ya man.
43
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,239
Hey what the hell?
Did you drink my vodka?
44
00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:23,754
Oh-oh, was that yours?
45
00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:26,759
You took half my pills!
Give me back my pills!
46
00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:27,360
Can't.
47
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:27,840
Why?
48
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:28,637
I ate 'em.
49
00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:30,074
You crazy bastard. That'll kill ya.
50
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:31,276
Go make yourself throw up!
51
00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,079
I think I'll just ride it out.
52
00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:34,480
I... I like to party.
53
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:38,751
Idiot.
54
00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:19,230
Hi.
55
00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:22,399
Am I in hell?
56
00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:23,117
Not anymore.
57
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:24,359
And do you know why?
58
00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:28,559
Because I pulled a few strings...
did my magic and you, sir, have a job.
59
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:30,436
Who are you?
60
00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:32,991
Who am I? Not a good question.
61
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:34,070
It's Johnny.
62
00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:36,559
Johnny? Say it with me, Johnny.
63
00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:37,118
Johnny.
64
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,590
Yeah, Bernstein. Your agent.
65
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:40,799
Hello.
66
00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:41,472
Hi.
67
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:43,115
Well are you gonna
get yourself outta there?
68
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,395
Come on.
Get your big self outta there.
69
00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:47,234
Here we go. Whoa-whoa!
You are a whale.
70
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:50,475
Whoa! There ya go.
71
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:57,437
Okay, you know I think
it is so brilliant,
72
00:04:57,520 --> 00:05:01,070
that you have laid so low
for such a long time.
73
00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:03,191
What day is it?
74
00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:06,352
Uh, June 3rd.
It is the best day of your life.
75
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:09,077
Hello?
76
00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:10,999
All right, put it back in.
This is not good for your career.
77
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,435
Gotta get goin', man.
New tenants moving in - now.
78
00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:14,591
Keys?
79
00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:18,790
Keys are, uh,
in a envelope on the desk.
80
00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:23,111
Come on!
81
00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:26,955
So I got a job? How?
82
00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:28,600
Who cares how it happened?
83
00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:31,320
All you have to worry about is
get some exercise, take a steam...
84
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:34,711
a meaningful shower...
and you meet me at my office on Friday,
85
00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:37,838
and I will fill you in. We are back.
Isn't that wonderful?
86
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,593
Yeah, don't forget that shower.
87
00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:42,239
Look at that chin line. Huh?
88
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:43,959
Wow. Okay.
89
00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:49,354
You can't sit there, Bill.
90
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:50,951
Go!
91
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,119
You wanna hear somethin' weird?
92
00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:04,238
"Bill Williams, former husband
of award-winning producer-writer,
93
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:05,037
Susan Mandeville,
94
00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:07,399
committed suicide Friday, May 31st,
95
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,198
at his home in Van Nuys, California."
96
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:10,950
I didn't know you were married.
97
00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:17,792
It was a long time ago.
98
00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:21,674
I almost forgot myself.
99
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:24,319
Do you need anything?
100
00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,999
Could you hold my calls for
a minute, I have to finish this script.
101
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:27,831
Yeah.
102
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:51,911
Jesus.
103
00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:54,874
I hate kids.
104
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:27,639
Those are my clothes.
105
00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,599
They was your clothes, dude.
You gave 'em to me.
106
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:31,750
Well give 'em back.
107
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:33,397
Okay.
108
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,239
And I need my shoes, too.
109
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,229
Oh, man.
110
00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:43,595
You don't wear socks?
111
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:46,639
Don't worry. My feet are
the cleanest part of me.
112
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:48,954
I thought you were homeless.
113
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:51,509
Well technically...
speaking that is my home.
114
00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,034
I'm gonna need to crash here
for a couple nights.
115
00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:55,032
I'll sleep in the cab and you...
can sleep in the back.
116
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:59,429
Then I need a ride... over to...
Wilshire and Doheny.
117
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:00,679
What if you're a criminal.
118
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,831
You're the one
that stole my drugs and alcohol.
119
00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,310
Well that...
doesn't mean you can steal mine.
120
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:08,640
All right. One night, but that's it.
121
00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:09,790
I got a gun.
122
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:10,791
Two nights.
123
00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:11,640
One.
124
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:11,959
Two.
125
00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:12,552
One.
126
00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:13,152
Two.
127
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:13,639
One.
128
00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:14,073
Two.
129
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:14,513
One.
130
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:15,120
One.
131
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:15,712
Two.
132
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,992
Okay. Two nights.
133
00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:25,039
See I wasn't laying low.
134
00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:27,239
I tried to call you for two years
and you wouldn't call me back,
135
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,200
so I finally gave up.
136
00:08:28,201 --> 00:08:29,953
You know, it was
a bitch to track you down.
137
00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,679
I had to hire a PI. My own money.
138
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:33,591
You know how he found you?
139
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:36,878
Some prescription that you picked
up last Thursday at Drug Emporium.
140
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:39,759
You know, I-I never knew
that you were into the legal stuff.
141
00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:41,877
I knew ya had a problem
and then you had no career.
142
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,714
No, no, no. See, I had no career
and then I had a problem.
143
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:46,280
Yeah, well, to tell ya the truth,
144
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:47,874
I didn't think you were gonna show up.
145
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:52,557
"Bill Williams, former husband
of award-winning producer,
146
00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:53,551
Susan Mandeville,
147
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:56,235
committed suicide Friday, May 31st."
148
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:57,674
Those idiots.
149
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,639
Obituary editor, please.
150
00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:05,832
Hello, this is Bill Williams
and I'm very pissed off.
151
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,559
First of all, there's no picture of me.
152
00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:09,518
Yes, yeah-yeah...
I'm alive but listen...
153
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:10,480
- Bill.
- In my letter I specifically...
154
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:11,357
- Bill.
- Asked you not...
155
00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,318
to mention my ex-wife in
the first paragraph.
156
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:14,400
- Yeah, h-hold on.
- See...
157
00:09:14,401 --> 00:09:16,835
see if you can mention
your representation in the correction.
158
00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:18,837
Okay, okay.
159
00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:22,311
That's fine,
but next time I kill myself, get it right.
160
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:25,076
Someday you're gonna have to explain
this mishigaz to me, you know,
161
00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:26,879
but not right now 'cause you got
a lotta work to do.
162
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:28,559
Does the name Davis Roman...
163
00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:29,914
mean anything to you?
He's a billionaire.
164
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,400
Very rich. Very generous.
165
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:32,880
He has commissioned you,
166
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:39,150
you, Bill-to co-star
and write a motion picture.
167
00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:40,040
You're kidding me.
168
00:09:40,041 --> 00:09:42,111
I can't believe it either.
The man must be an idiot.
169
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:43,714
But he's a billionaire,
170
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:47,680
and he's got this son
who is a big fan-of yours!
171
00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,355
This is his eighteenth birthday present.
172
00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:53,279
First check. Half a million dollars,
I took out my ten percent, of course.
173
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,590
You get the other half
as soon as you finish filming.
174
00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,712
Four hundred
and fifty thousand dollars?
175
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:00,120
What kind of movie do I right?
176
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:03,637
An action-comedy. All right.
You know, kind of like, um, uh,
177
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:07,350
True Lies. All right actually...
exactly like True Lies.
178
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:10,756
Is Arnold in it?
179
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:12,591
If they could get him,
180
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:15,673
you'd still be cocooning to
the oldies in your bathtub.
181
00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:17,399
So who's gonna be my co-star?
182
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:21,633
This is brilliant.
Aaron Roman. His son.
183
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:24,159
So this eighteen
year old kid is gonna...
184
00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:26,679
He's seventeen. He's gonna
be eighteen in a few months.
185
00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:29,079
So he's gonna be
the ass-kicking action hero...
186
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,834
and I'm gonna be the dumb,
fat hyperactive sidekick.
187
00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:33,351
Exactly.
188
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:35,320
I'm in.
189
00:10:35,321 --> 00:10:37,596
Tomorrow we're gonna meet
at Davis Roman's office.
190
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:39,439
Here's his address.
Five o'clock sharp.
191
00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:41,272
I'll be there. Okay.
192
00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:42,955
I need to borrow forty bucks.
193
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:44,953
I just gave you
four hundred fifty thousand dollars.
194
00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,918
Oh, I'll-I'll pay
you back soon as I cash this check.
195
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:50,596
Oh, I'm so sorry,
I've only got hundreds.
196
00:10:59,400 --> 00:10:59,912
Denise?
197
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:00,558
Yes, Mr. Bernstein?
198
00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:03,155
Bill Williams owes me
one hundred dollars. Write it down.
199
00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:03,878
Got it.
200
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:14,795
Great news. I'm doin' a movie
and I need an assistant.
201
00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:16,360
It pays five hundred dollars.
202
00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:17,679
Are you interested?
203
00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:18,875
Five hundred dollars a year?
204
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:20,799
Five hundred dollars a week.
205
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:21,392
A week?
206
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:22,675
Yes! Now your first job...
207
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:25,480
I need you to go to the drug store,
pick me up some toiletries.
208
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,836
I need deodorant,
tooth paste, tooth brush, floss...
209
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:28,800
shaving cream, legal...
210
00:11:28,801 --> 00:11:30,120
hey pay-pay attention.
211
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:31,714
- This is an important test for you.
- Okay.
212
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:34,554
Stuff like waxed dental floss.
213
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:35,353
Waxed?
214
00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:36,112
Yes.
215
00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:37,197
Nice.
216
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,031
Yeah.
217
00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:39,910
This could be my comeback.
218
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,400
Yeah mine too.
219
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,037
Who are you again?
220
00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:45,799
I'm Bill Williams, actor.
221
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:47,951
Guy Prince, assistant to the stars.
222
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:51,234
No-no-no-no-no-no I'll drive.
223
00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:56,032
Okay, the kid's seventeen right?
224
00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:58,555
But maybe we age him a little
bit make him like twenty-two.
225
00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:01,719
That way people don't get all freaked
out when he gets shot at and stuff.
226
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:02,836
Plus it makes
it more believable that me,
227
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:05,594
his best friend of twenty years,
is forty-five.
228
00:12:05,680 --> 00:12:08,036
Oh wait a minute. Maybe I was
best friends with his dad.
229
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,396
His dad blew up and now
I'm best friends with the kid.
230
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,469
Maybe, uh,
I could be your best friend.
231
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:16,960
No. See that's not realistic.
232
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:18,952
This is your first movie
so you're gonna have a small part.
233
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:20,440
You can be like
a bartender or a doorman.
234
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:22,352
And the star cannot
be best friends with someone...
235
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:24,796
who's probably gonna
get cut out of the movie anyway.
236
00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:27,076
I didn't mean in the movie.
I meant in real life.
237
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:29,916
You wanna be my best friend?
238
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:31,997
Yeah.
239
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:34,440
Don't you have any friends, Guy?
240
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:36,236
Just you.
241
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:38,120
That's sad.
242
00:12:38,121 --> 00:12:40,840
Well not as sad as last
week when I had no friends at all.
243
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:42,759
Guy... you are my friend,
244
00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:45,150
you are my best friend,
you are my only friend.
245
00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:48,951
Oh, I love you, man. I love you.
246
00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:51,077
All right listen... do me a favor.
247
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:53,319
I need you to lay off the booze until
we're done with the movie.
248
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:53,912
Say no more.
249
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,195
All right, thanks, my friend.
250
00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:58,314
So I think we'll start
off in Omega Sector,
251
00:12:58,400 --> 00:12:59,834
'cause that's where
the original started.
252
00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:01,639
It's a really cool location, and...
253
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,279
Thought you
were gonna lay off the booze.
254
00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,431
No, I just didn't want you
to say no more about it.
255
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,999
You haven't had
a job in awhile, have ya?
256
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,913
Not since Operation Desert Storm.
257
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:15,160
You're a veteran?
258
00:13:15,161 --> 00:13:17,359
No I just haven't had a job since '91.
259
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:18,316
All right.
260
00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:23,557
Hello?
261
00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:24,999
Well hi, sweetheart.
262
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,673
Thanks for returning my call.
263
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,991
I wanted to ask
you about Bill Williams.
264
00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:30,799
Isn't it fantastic?
265
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:31,950
I don't think so.
266
00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:32,837
Well you're probably right,
267
00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:35,389
I mean he didn't have
that many other options.
268
00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:37,554
Oh, how did he do it?
269
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:41,156
Well quite frankly, I did it.
Thank you, thank you very much.
270
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,599
What-what the hell
are you talking about?
271
00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:47,320
What the hell am I talking about?
I put the whole deal together.
272
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:48,231
What deal?
273
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:50,991
Are we talking about his movie deal?
274
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:53,759
No. Bill Williams died-right?
275
00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:56,594
No, no, no, that was a major misprint.
276
00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:58,680
Bill's alive?
277
00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:01,229
Well, thanks to me he
is very much alive. Bill Williams,
278
00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:03,880
I saw him in my office this morning.
279
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,480
And he's making a film?
280
00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:08,711
Co-starring and writing.
281
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,199
Let me just say something
to you, Susan,
282
00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:15,119
you add your name to this, we can
make your name just a little bit bigger.
283
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,760
We can make your money
just a little bit tastier.
284
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:19,600
If you get my drift, huh?
285
00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:23,276
Now I'm gonna see him
tomorrow morning. Any messages?
286
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,555
Oh-oh no. N-no, thanks.
287
00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:28,040
I love talking to you.
288
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:30,390
Thanks.
289
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:38,876
This man lives large.
290
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:39,871
What does he do for a living?
291
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,759
I don't know. Acquisitions.
292
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:43,672
Shipping. Mini malls. Fine wines.
293
00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:45,479
Ask him if he needs an assistant.
294
00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:46,152
No.
295
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:48,397
Who are you here to see?
296
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,879
Just tell Davis,
Johnny Bernstein is here with Billy.
297
00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:54,517
Mr. Roman will be
with you in just a moment.
298
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,354
One sugar, a little milk.
299
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,354
Get me anything that's free.
300
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:05,392
Take notes during the meeting, okay?
301
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,110
Okay.
302
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:09,156
Do you got a pen?
303
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:10,833
You don't have a pen?
304
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:12,434
That's rule number one, Guy.
305
00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:15,276
What's rule number two?
306
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:17,033
You don't have anything to write on?
307
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:18,349
What's in your backpack?
308
00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:22,119
Oh my God. You don't have to carry
beer around with ya all the time!
309
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:23,239
Well what if they don't have any?
310
00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:27,393
Boys... could we keep the
psycho-drama until after the meeting.
311
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:28,677
Hello.
312
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:29,796
Welcome, everyone.
313
00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:30,520
Billy,
314
00:15:30,521 --> 00:15:31,759
this is Davis Roman.
315
00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:32,637
Nice to meet you, sir.
316
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,799
Uh, this is Guy, my, uh, assistant.
317
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:36,950
Nice... to meet you all.
318
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:38,440
This is Shelby. Please, sit down.
319
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:39,158
Hi.
320
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:40,398
Hello.
321
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:41,759
Shelby, nice to meet you.
322
00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:43,399
You look just like
your father only, uh,
323
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,312
a lot younger
and a lot more beautiful.
324
00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:46,915
Shelby's my wife.
325
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:50,556
I knew that.
326
00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:52,597
You look great in sea foam green.
327
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:55,239
I'm Aaron's step mom.
328
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,709
His mom and sisters live
in Bloomington, Illinois.
329
00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:01,153
Aaron goes to school there
and spends his summers with us.
330
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:03,279
And this summer he turns eighteen.
331
00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:06,399
And I said to him, Son... Just name it.
332
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:10,030
And he said... Dad,
True Lies is my favorite movie...
333
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,839
and I wanna be in a movie...
just like that.
334
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:14,799
So... here we are.
335
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:18,589
And he is so excited. He's been
working with the trainer, bulking up,
336
00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:21,399
and taking driving lessons and
shooting lessons and acting lessons.
337
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:23,232
Ah, that's great but
that stuff's not really necessary.
338
00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:25,357
I never did any of it and look at me.
339
00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:28,313
Here's a photo
of Aaron with his team.
340
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:32,716
Handsome devil.
341
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,950
He's graduating this year.
Aaron's an exceptional kid.
342
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:39,680
Everyone who meets
him says he changes their lives.
343
00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:42,430
So, how's the script coming?
344
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:44,399
Forget about it. He's on fire.
345
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,995
Good. Good.
Aaron's so excited about this.
346
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:48,196
And you really should get to know him.
347
00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:50,112
He's got a lot
of great ideas about the story.
348
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:51,600
I bet he does.
349
00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:53,797
Well... looks like it's gonna be
a great summer for all of us.
350
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,109
Yeah, I'll drink to that.
351
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,756
Oh, boy, this place is like a museum.
352
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,554
This is a nice piano.
353
00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:17,394
Well, Shelby's working
on becoming a concert...
354
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:19,358
I've always wanted
to learn to play the piano...
355
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,751
and never thought I could
until about a year ago when...
356
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:25,309
Aaron insisted
that I take some lessons.
357
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:27,519
Speaking of which,
here he comes now.
358
00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:30,035
Aaron Roman, superstar.
359
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,029
Hi everybody.
360
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:42,119
Hi Bill Williams.
361
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:43,156
Hello, Aaron.
362
00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:45,835
Aaron's seen True Lies...
eighty-eight times.
363
00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:47,673
Ninety-one times, Dad.
364
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:50,239
Oh, that's right. He saw it...
three more times yesterday.
365
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:53,074
Thank you, Bill...
for making this movie.
366
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:55,239
You're welcome, my friend, any time.
367
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:58,799
Okay, guys.
I'm bein' punked, aren't I?
368
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,473
Where are the hidden cameras?
369
00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:01,400
You did a great job.
370
00:18:01,401 --> 00:18:02,959
Ladies and gentlemen, Bill Williams.
371
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:04,189
- Isn't he hysterical?
- Oh, my God.
372
00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:06,679
He kills me. You kill me.
He kills me.
373
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:07,875
- Aaron, honey.
- Yes?
374
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:10,475
Don't you wanna have Bill
autograph your True Lies DVD?
375
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:12,752
Yeah. I'll be right back.
376
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:16,751
Please.
377
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:17,912
Please.
378
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:21,559
Yeah. You know what?
I'm outta here.
379
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:22,676
No you don't.
380
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:25,594
You promised that little boy
you were gonna sign his DVD.
381
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:27,399
Would get yourself
in that living room?
382
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:28,357
On the count of three.
383
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,159
- You tricked me.
- I gave it to you on a platter.
384
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:31,839
- You made me look stupid.
- You're gonna thank me.
385
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,230
You know what? I almost tried
to cash this phony check.
386
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:38,115
Guy, were you in on this?
387
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,479
I guess so.
388
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:42,359
Maybe my son wasn't
what you were expecting.
389
00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:43,589
Why are you jumping to conclusions?
390
00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,194
You really haven't gotten
to know him yet.
391
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:48,919
Honey... Bill Williams-always on.
Always funny.
392
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:51,355
However, this would be
a really good time to turn it right off.
393
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:54,035
You know what, you guys can
all quit acting now. This is my fault.
394
00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:54,997
I'm the idiot.
395
00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,549
I actually thought that I was
gonna be in a movie again.
396
00:18:58,120 --> 00:18:58,800
Goodbye.
397
00:18:58,801 --> 00:18:59,870
You're not going anywhere.
398
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:01,235
Stay. Good boy.
399
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:01,958
Goodbye, Johnny.
400
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,077
Here ya go, kid.
401
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:15,997
Thank you, Bill.
402
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,154
Hey, wait a minute.
403
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:21,632
What about our movie?
404
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:32,230
Sorry kid, but somebody played
a really cruel joke on us.
405
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:36,315
If it's joke, how come...
nobody's laughing?
406
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:41,959
Hello Bill. Glad to see you're
back from the great beyond.
407
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:43,076
Just Van Nuys.
408
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:44,920
Susan.
409
00:19:44,921 --> 00:19:46,832
- Hi, good to see ya. Sure.
- Hi, thanks for coming.
410
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:50,919
Well... we've got our
work cut out for us.
411
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:53,230
Bill... I need a script. Three weeks.
412
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:54,950
Or less.
413
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:55,439
Okay.
414
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,274
She came on board
this morning. Surprised?
415
00:19:58,400 --> 00:19:59,197
I'm stunned.
416
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,840
Well, I'm glad this all worked out.
417
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:06,231
So... Davis
was thinkin' that maybe the two...
418
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:07,515
of you could move
into our guest house...
419
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,239
so that you could be close to Aaron.
420
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:10,435
Oh, we couldn't do that.
421
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:11,192
I could.
422
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:12,270
Oh, I insist.
423
00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:13,399
So do I.
424
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:18,919
Okay. Uh, we'll move in this weekend.
We could move in, uh...
425
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:21,877
now?
426
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:23,590
- Perfect.
- Perfect.
427
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:26,439
Does anybody have any scotch tape?
428
00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:27,237
Gimme it.
429
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,193
Be very careful with that.
430
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:33,274
You may have noticed
Aaron has some special needs.
431
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:37,080
He weighed only
one pound when he was born and his,
432
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:42,315
doctor said he wouldn't live.
At best wouldn't walk or talk.
433
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:46,070
Well, he proved them all wrong.
434
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:51,399
He has cerebral palsy which is
a difficult condition to live with.
435
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:55,360
But his spirit and love
of life has carried us all through.
436
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:58,958
He's accomplished more
in his short life than I have in mine.
437
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:08,230
It's frustrating to me that the one
thing I wanna give my son is a cure.
438
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:09,640
But I can't.
439
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:12,360
He doesn't want that anyway.
440
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,879
His passion is to be an actor.
441
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:21,280
And I believe in him.
442
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,114
Do you think he can do it?
443
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:32,234
Yes. I believe in Aaron, too.
444
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,036
Thank you.
445
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,071
I do expect
his movie to be a good one.
446
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:38,719
How could it not be?
447
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:39,831
Good.
448
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:53,438
Hi!
449
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:54,559
Thanks for the beautiful sweat suit...
450
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:56,472
but I'm gonna run to
the store to get some real clothes.
451
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:57,630
- Oh, no, no, no, no. You stay...
- No?
452
00:21:57,720 --> 00:21:59,200
Here and work on the script.
453
00:21:59,280 --> 00:21:59,997
- Okay.
- We have people...
454
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:01,514
who can get you whatever you need.
455
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:02,431
Right.
456
00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:04,352
I have to go to work, and so do you.
457
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:06,671
In fact, your assistant
has been up for three hours...
458
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:07,955
waiting by the pool.
459
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:08,791
Hey!
460
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:10,720
All right, I better get started.
461
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:13,960
Why didn't you wake me up?
462
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:16,874
Sorry, man. I got everything I need.
463
00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:19,237
Thanks, Guy.
464
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:20,679
Anytime, Shelby.
465
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:21,352
Hey, Bill.
466
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:22,112
Hey.
467
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:25,512
Oh, my God!
Are you outta your mind?
468
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:28,160
Don't even look at her.
Davis'll cut your nuts off, man!
469
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:31,039
Don't worry, dude,
I never date married chicks.
470
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:33,271
But check out...
her friends, man, they're so hot.
471
00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:35,033
I'm gonna fire you!
Let's get to work.
472
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:42,680
Let's talk about my movie.
473
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:43,360
Okay.
474
00:22:43,361 --> 00:22:47,036
I wanna be called A-Dog because
that's what my friends call me.
475
00:22:47,120 --> 00:22:48,349
A-Dog.
476
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:52,036
I wanna... parachute out
of an exploding jet.
477
00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:52,997
Exploding jet.
478
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:54,719
Cruise around on a chopper.
479
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:55,358
Chopper.
480
00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:56,794
And I wanna help homeless people.
481
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:57,959
Yeah, homeless.
482
00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,280
And rescue animals.
483
00:22:59,360 --> 00:22:59,918
Of course.
484
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,959
And I also want to beat up bad people.
485
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,839
Okay. Who are
the bad people you'd be beating up?
486
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:10,999
Drug dealers. Drugs are bad.
487
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,992
Drugs are bad, right Guy?
488
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,040
Guy-Guy... Guy!
489
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,239
Why did you hit Guy?
490
00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:21,996
Because I was rehearsing a scene.
Would you like to rehearse a scene?
491
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:24,037
Go ahead, hit guy,
he used to be a soldier.
492
00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:25,120
Like this?
493
00:23:25,121 --> 00:23:27,316
No, no, no, no. Like that!
494
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:27,992
Like that!
495
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:30,199
No. More like that!
496
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:31,919
- Like that?
- No like that!
497
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:32,478
Like that?
498
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:33,120
Like that!
499
00:23:33,121 --> 00:23:34,520
- Like that?
- No like that!
500
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:35,158
Like that?
501
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:35,800
Like that!
502
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:36,312
Like this?
503
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:37,754
Acting is fun, isn't it A-Dog?
504
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:39,320
Yes... acting is fun.
505
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:42,474
But I gotta go pee now. Bye-bye.
506
00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:43,198
Bye A-Dog!
507
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:43,880
Bye!
508
00:23:43,881 --> 00:23:46,156
Yeah hah-hah!
Man, that kid's got range.
509
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:51,399
Because of Aaron's age
and physical limitations,
510
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:53,999
we can only use him six hours a day.
511
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,390
Bunny.
I want you to stay close to him.
512
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:59,120
Make sure he does
not exhaust himself or get hurt.
513
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:04,153
Now Bill, who also
has numerous physical limitations,
514
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:05,959
will just have to do his own stunts.
515
00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:07,599
Why are we doin' this project?
516
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:09,879
Because it's a challenge.
517
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:11,679
We've never done
an action adventure.
518
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:13,911
We don't even have a script yet.
Is it because you and Bill used to...
519
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:17,789
Bunny. Because it's a challenge.
And I like the kid.
520
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:18,791
What about a director?
521
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:20,360
Laura, would you check and see,
522
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:22,272
if Penelope Spheeris
is available for this?
523
00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:24,875
I think she'd be great and I heard
we can get her for cheap.
524
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:29,559
Okay, this is brilliant.
525
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:32,439
This kid is like in a home
and I'm like his brother...
526
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:33,749
but I don't really know him,
527
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:37,072
so I go get him out and we go
on this cross country trip.
528
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:38,999
And we're savin' animals
and helpin' the homeless,
529
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,036
but he's a savant.
530
00:24:40,120 --> 00:24:42,430
He's like a genius with numbers
and everything and...
531
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:43,670
Stop it.
532
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:48,999
So... we go to Vegas...
533
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,319
and he's countin' cards
and we win a lotta money...
534
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:54,199
and then we buy these matching suits
and we're on this escalator.
535
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:56,999
And he wants to drive...
and he's an excellent driver.
536
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:00,680
Wait a minute, that's Rainman.
537
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:04,519
You know what? This would go
a lot faster if you could type.
538
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:05,078
You think?
539
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:05,957
Yes. I know.
540
00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:07,799
We need a secretary.
541
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:09,319
You are my secretary.
542
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,199
Hey, I thought I was your assistant.
543
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:14,113
You are my assistant.
You are my secretary.
544
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:15,634
You're my writer's assistant.
545
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:17,119
You are my driver.
You're my bodyguard.
546
00:25:17,120 --> 00:25:18,799
You're everything. You get it?
547
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:21,395
Well dude,
that's a lotta responsibility.
548
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:23,915
I need a raise.
549
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:27,797
Hey guys,
wanna have some fun today?
550
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:29,314
Hell yeah!
551
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:30,720
You know what, son, we'd love to.
552
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:32,871
But guy and I have
a lot of work to do so...
553
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:33,950
we're gonna have to take a rain check.
554
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,191
Maybe we'll do somethin' later. Sorry.
555
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:40,796
Let's go for a ride.
556
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:42,439
I'll drive.
557
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:43,112
No I'll drive!
558
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:43,872
Okay.
559
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:46,916
Put your seatbelt on.
560
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:47,800
I don't need a seatbelt.
561
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:48,358
Put your seatbelt on.
562
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:49,556
I don't need it. You shut up.
563
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:50,994
I don't need a seatbelt.
We're on a golf cart.
564
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:00,597
Gate's not open.
565
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:13,316
Where's the seatbelt?
566
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:25,599
This is a great day for it, man.
You're lucky.
567
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:26,397
Yeah.
568
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:26,720
Yeah.
569
00:26:26,721 --> 00:26:28,757
Hey... Hi...
570
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:30,120
Hi...
571
00:26:30,121 --> 00:26:31,349
You're like the mayor
of this neighborhood man.
572
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:32,240
Yep, I know.
573
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:33,117
Yeah?
574
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:36,039
Which one do you like better
the blonde or brunette?
575
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:38,475
Uh, the blonde and the brunette.
576
00:26:47,120 --> 00:26:48,156
Who are those jerks?
577
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:49,754
Lester and his friend.
578
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:51,911
He's trying to be funny.
Doesn't matter.
579
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,356
Hey Lester! Want some gum?
580
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:56,790
Go! Go!
581
00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:06,199
Yeah! Yeah. We got 'em good, huh,
Bill? Yeah baby! Yeah!
582
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:07,236
Look out! Whoa!
583
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:19,231
Have you thought about
who you wanted in your movie?
584
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:21,239
Shaquille O'Neal, the basketball player.
585
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:23,519
Shaq? You want Shaq in your movie?
586
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:24,078
Yeah.
587
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:27,631
I imagine Shaq's pretty busy.
Is there anybody else?
588
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:28,551
Let's ask him.
589
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:40,799
Shaq, will you please be in my movie?
590
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:42,120
Why sure, A-Dog.
591
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:45,879
I have to go take my meds now.
592
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:46,916
Call me later.
593
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:03,269
Be careful.
594
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:05,636
Bill?
595
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:07,234
Not now, Guy, I'm writing.
596
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:15,033
Writing movies is fun.
597
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:19,756
Whoops, uh, I think I'm gonna
get another drink. Do ya want one?
598
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:23,997
Come in.
599
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:26,280
Hi. You wanted to see me?
600
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:28,873
I want to kiss a girl.
601
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:30,556
Okay.
602
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:31,756
I'll go down the street and talk...
603
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:34,230
to one of those cute ones
and see if I can work somethin' out.
604
00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:35,117
No.
605
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:38,150
In the movie I want a girlfriend.
606
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:42,435
That's much easier.
607
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:44,839
Have you ever, uh,
have you ever had a girlfriend?
608
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:46,599
No. Not a real one.
609
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:48,671
Well those are the hardest kind.
610
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:50,752
Believe it or not I haven't had
a real girlfriend in many years,
611
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:52,479
and my life's
a lot better because of it.
612
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:57,191
I want my girlfriend to kiss me
in-in the hot tub like on MTV.
613
00:28:57,280 --> 00:29:00,319
Okay. Hot tub. MTV.
614
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:01,515
You got anyone in mind?
615
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:02,875
Arielle Kebbel.
616
00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:08,919
Whoa, see you've put
a lot of thought into this.
617
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:12,876
But what if we
can't get Arielle Kebbel.
618
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:14,076
Is there anyone else?
619
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:16,599
No one else. Maybe my dad can help.
620
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:18,193
I'll call him at work.
621
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:19,999
Oh no-no! Don't, don't, don't,
don't bother your dad.
622
00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:23,073
No, no, no, never,
never, never bother him.
623
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:24,753
He's busy and, uh... scary...
624
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:28,629
I want her. My friends
at school will be so jealous.
625
00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:30,079
I'll be jealous.
626
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:32,470
You can have a girlfriend, too.
627
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:33,959
Oh yeah? You got anybody in mind?
628
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:36,156
Yeah. Rosie O'Donnell. She's cool.
629
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:38,038
Yeah, yeah,
Rosie O'Donnell is cool.
630
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:40,399
But, uh, uh,
so is Gwyneth Paltrow, or J Lo,
631
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:41,839
or, or Jennifer Anniston...
632
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:44,071
or anybody here
in Maxim magazine'd be really cool.
633
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:45,800
How come you get all the hot babes?
634
00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:47,155
Because it's my movie.
635
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:48,839
You're learnin' fast, my friend.
636
00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:50,479
But I never do hot tub scenes.
637
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:54,269
The hot tub scene
is just for me and my girl.
638
00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:58,233
Who's... that foxy lady over there?
639
00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:02,278
That's my mom. She's a nurse.
640
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:03,830
I'd love to meet her.
641
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:06,479
Oh, you will. At my birthday party.
642
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:08,551
My mom used
to be married to my dad.
643
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:10,711
Did Susan used to be your wife?
644
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:12,639
Right. A long time ago.
645
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:15,639
Who would you rather kiss
Susan or Rosie O'Donnell?
646
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:17,233
Oh that's easy.
I mean Susan's okay,
647
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:19,759
but Rosie O'Donnell is so hot!
648
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:21,479
If I ever got my hands on
that nice butt of hers...
649
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:22,914
I mean watch out!
650
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:25,393
Oh... boy.
651
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:27,199
So, you're on
the basketball team, huh?
652
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:30,990
I wanna play but they made me
the equipment manager.
653
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:32,437
Why?
654
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:36,391
Because I have cerebral palsy.
655
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:38,880
Well that's not fair.
656
00:30:38,881 --> 00:30:41,799
I know it's not,
but life is not fair, Bill.
657
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:46,033
Plus, it's not about getting
everything you want in life.
658
00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:49,431
So, they made me
the equipment manager.
659
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:50,556
Well that's good 'cause,
660
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:53,075
you know, they couldn't even play
the games without equipment so,
661
00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:55,391
technically you're the most
important person on the team.
662
00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:58,559
Nice try, Bill.
663
00:30:58,640 --> 00:30:59,630
I thought so.
664
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:01,717
Hide.
665
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:02,199
What?
666
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:02,633
Hide!
667
00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:03,039
Hide?
668
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:03,632
Hide!
669
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:09,551
Hi, honey. I miss you.
670
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:11,239
I... miss you too, Mom.
671
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:12,919
What's going on with your movie?
672
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:13,990
It's fun.
673
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,356
Hey... you never sent me that script.
674
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,193
We just got it done.
675
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:19,430
I can't wait to read it.
676
00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:21,679
There's no bad language is there?
677
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:23,199
No way, Mom.
678
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:24,239
How's that guy... Bill?
679
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:25,479
He's nice.
680
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:28,951
He better be. But be careful.
I don't trust those Hollywood types.
681
00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:29,917
I will, Mom.
682
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:30,877
Hi Aaron!
683
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:31,632
We'll be out soon!
684
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:33,234
Hi Marla! Hi Melissa!
685
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:35,152
We're makin' a great movie.
686
00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:37,477
Bye.
687
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:41,480
Thanks for stickin' up for me, man.
688
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:44,917
That's okay.
I've had to do that a lot lately.
689
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:50,552
The story takes place in New York,
Washington D.C.,
690
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:53,200
Moscow, Beijing... then Beverly Hills.
691
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:56,432
So we'll probably shoot most of
it on a sound stage in Vancouver.
692
00:31:57,200 --> 00:32:00,113
We are on an incredibly
accelerated schedule.
693
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:02,237
We have to have Aaron's movie...
694
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:06,479
finished, edited, in the can
and on the screen by August 31st.
695
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:07,880
August 31st of next year.
696
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:09,633
No, that would
be August 31st this year.
697
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:11,120
That's three months away.
698
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:13,319
Well, we're just gonna have
to do our best.
699
00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:15,312
How wide of
a release are we goin' for?
700
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:17,039
Very limited.
701
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:18,634
So we'll open on how many screens?
702
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:20,400
Just one.
703
00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:24,198
The one at Aaron Roman's
eighteenth birthday party.
704
00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:25,396
I don't get it.
705
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:26,357
How could you not get it?
706
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:29,319
I told you. We're making
this movie for the kid.
707
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:30,516
Just for the kid.
708
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:32,193
Just for the kid, Bunny.
709
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:34,110
And the money.
710
00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:38,555
I see this thing openin' in like
thirty-five hundred theaters.
711
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:39,879
With Susan producing...
712
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:41,678
you know it's gonna be huge.
713
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:44,159
So I have written some emotional
stuff for myself,
714
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:45,310
to show my acting chops.
715
00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:45,960
Right on.
716
00:32:45,961 --> 00:32:47,279
And I've written some for Aaron, too.
717
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:48,555
Aaron, can you cry?
718
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:52,031
Sometimes.
When someone is mean to me.
719
00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:53,156
Like those neighborhood kids.
720
00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:55,879
Yeah. One of them called me retarded.
721
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:57,079
One of them called me retarded.
722
00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:58,919
It's not very nice and it's not true.
723
00:32:58,920 --> 00:32:59,797
What's his name again?
724
00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:00,677
Lester.
725
00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:02,959
His name is Lester
and he's makin' fun of you?
726
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:03,234
Yeah.
727
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:04,479
That's funny.
You know what we're gonna do?
728
00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:06,437
I'm gonna write a character in
the movie named Lester Loser...
729
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:08,751
and we're gonna
kick Lester Loser's big fat butt.
730
00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:11,799
Yeah! We'll kick
Lester Loser's big fat butt!
731
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:12,916
Yeah!
732
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:22,399
I'll get it. I'll pick that up later.
733
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:24,639
Now boys,
I've got some bad news for ya.
734
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:26,996
The, uh, owner of the Shitzu
you wanted is demanding ten grand...
735
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:30,551
so I went to the pound
and got this one instead. He's a Maltese.
736
00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:32,199
But we'll still say it's a Shitzu.
737
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:35,239
Nobody'll ever notice the difference,
plus Shitzu is a lot funnier word.
738
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:37,039
Get it - shit-zu?
739
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:40,799
And secondly and sadly,
740
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:44,679
because of scheduling conflicts neither
of your chosen love interests
741
00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:48,276
Rosie O'Donnell
or Arielle Kebbel-are available.
742
00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:50,830
Darn.
743
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:51,910
Don't worry though.
744
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,469
We've got lots of other beautiful
actresses coming in tomorrow.
745
00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:57,598
Now Susan, this is the casting session
for my girlfriend, am I right?
746
00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:01,150
No, Bill. Yours are coming in later.
747
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:02,676
These are for Aaron.
748
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:13,556
Please, Susan.
749
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:19,236
All these young ladies
are here for you, Bill.
750
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:26,836
Please, Susan.
751
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:35,710
You're our girl.
752
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:42,676
Oh my back!
753
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:50,876
Aaron there is one more
actress for you to look at...
754
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:53,520
but I don't know
if you're gonna like her.
755
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:56,836
Hi, Aaron.
756
00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:01,431
I'm Arielle. Nice to finally meet you
757
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:06,078
This is a pencil. Use it.
758
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:08,111
What is your name?
759
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:08,678
Arielle.
760
00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:11,514
Arielle. Hello. Who represents you?
761
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:12,280
Oh, my mom.
762
00:35:12,281 --> 00:35:16,799
Bad career move. You need to be
represented by a man outside the family.
763
00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:19,918
Here. Johnny Bernstein.
Just ask Billy.
764
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,640
That's right, Arielle,
I'd be nowhere without Johnny.
765
00:35:22,720 --> 00:35:24,359
Didn't I tell you
you were gonna thank me?
766
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:27,794
Let me say two words to you.
Cameron Diaz.
767
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:29,157
You represent her?
768
00:35:29,240 --> 00:35:32,279
No. But I'm hooking
my wagon up to your star.
769
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:33,240
What?
770
00:35:33,241 --> 00:35:37,439
All right everyone.
Starting tomorrow at six a.m...
771
00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:39,159
your butts are mine.
772
00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:40,435
And for the next thirty days -
773
00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:45,390
24-7-I own all of you.
We have an intense schedule.
774
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:48,200
I need you to work hard and work fast.
775
00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:51,439
And now, the reason
that we are all here.
776
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:56,595
The man of the hour.
The star of Two Spies A-Dog!
777
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:05,519
Ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you for being a part of my movie.
778
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:08,479
When my dad said I can make this movie,
779
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:12,918
I didn't believe it
and it's really happening.
780
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,595
It's so... unreal.
781
00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:22,791
I'm going to do everything
I can to make this the best movie ever!
782
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:28,635
If you see me acting
and you ant me to do it better,
783
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:33,279
just tell me.
After all I'm no Tom Cruise.
784
00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:35,675
I helped him write this part.
785
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:38,195
All right, now let's kick
some major ass!
786
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:41,919
Let's get this party started.
787
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:55,478
Sorry.
788
00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:56,994
Watch it.
789
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:05,111
Good job.
790
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:12,196
Hey Susan, this is really nice
what you're doin' for Aaron.
791
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:14,112
It's nice what you're doing
for him, too.
792
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:15,873
Well I'm gettin' paid.
793
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:17,994
We're all getting paid.
794
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:21,553
I'm trying to enjoy all this
this time around, you know.
795
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:24,314
I'm even lookin' forward
to the press junket.
796
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:27,955
That's the best thing about this one.
No press junket.
797
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:29,276
Really?
798
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:32,558
So we're gonna do the talk shows
and a big angle down campaign?
799
00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:34,670
You're kidding, right?
800
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:37,629
Well how do we sell it?
801
00:37:37,720 --> 00:37:39,359
It's sold, Bill.
802
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:41,396
To who?
803
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:48,630
We're just making this movie
for Aaron and his family.
804
00:37:48,720 --> 00:37:51,554
They just wanted something
to see at the birthday party.
805
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:54,239
Only the people
that come to his birthday party
806
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:58,319
are gonna see my movie?
Our-uh-movie, his movie? That's it?
807
00:37:58,320 --> 00:37:59,439
That's it.
808
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:01,875
His dad is spendin' all this money
and we're gonna put everything
809
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:03,997
we got into somethin'
that nobody's ever gonna see?
810
00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:05,309
Aaron'll see it.
811
00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:09,111
Probably hundreds of times.
That's... that's something.
812
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:13,038
Yeah. That's somethin'.
813
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:14,713
I would never make a movie like this
814
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:16,996
if I thought it was
for public consumption.
815
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:22,039
'Course not.
I don't know what I was thinkin'.
816
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:24,199
I'm sorry you had to hear this from me.
817
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:27,671
Well it's not your fault.
It's my agent's fault.
818
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:31,989
Are you all right?
819
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:34,956
Yeah, I'm just a little disappointed.
820
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:36,789
But that's good.
821
00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:40,112
'Cause it reminds me of how I used
to feel when I was in show business.
822
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:42,840
Well let's just try
to have some fun, huh?
823
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:44,912
Yeah. Fun.
824
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:49,709
I'm feelin' it.
825
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:53,119
Oh ho, relax. Ancient history.
826
00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:55,756
I only stopped hating him
because he was dead.
827
00:38:57,240 --> 00:38:58,913
This is all so romantic.
828
00:38:59,920 --> 00:39:02,913
Get out. You... need a boyfriend.
829
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:10,720
What about Guy?
830
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:54,550
Hey Bill!
831
00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:55,471
Yeah.
832
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:57,234
Those things'll kill ya.
833
00:39:57,320 --> 00:39:58,390
I hope so.
834
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:05,799
You seem kinda down, what's goin' on?
835
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:08,599
Oh, I'm fine.
You know, the kid's great.
836
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:12,230
Susan is... Susan. She still hates me.
837
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:15,190
If she hated you
she wouldn't be producing this movie.
838
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:17,599
I think she's doin'
it just to torture me.
839
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:19,637
I think you're torturing yourself, Bill.
840
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:21,713
People do that. They...
841
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:25,909
they forget about everything they have
and focus on what they don't have.
842
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:32,877
You know what,
let me show you something.
843
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:39,271
Whenever I'm feeling sorry
for myself I watch this
844
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:40,430
and it snaps me right out of it.
845
00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:51,356
I love you, and my mom
and my mom and my dad.
846
00:40:57,200 --> 00:40:59,271
Yea! Yeah!
847
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:05,755
Yea! Yeah!
848
00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:26,280
All right. All better.
849
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:29,554
That kid was born to be an actor.
No doubt about it.
850
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:16,714
Okay. Here goes nothin'.
851
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:18,440
Settle down.
852
00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:19,078
Quiet now.
853
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:20,196
Everybody read? Quiet!
854
00:43:20,280 --> 00:43:21,680
Two Spies, Apple 60, Take 1.
855
00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:22,477
Mark!
856
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:25,271
Action.
857
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:30,199
Gentlemen.
858
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:34,991
This is the most important and complex
assignment I've ever given to anyone.
859
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:37,839
The fate of the free world
is on the line here.
860
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:40,435
Not to mention my personal happiness.
861
00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:42,359
That's why I've called on you...
862
00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:45,273
A-Dog, because you're
the best America's got.
863
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:46,555
Thank you, sir.
864
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:51,071
This is my granddaughter,
and that is here Shitzu - Chloe.
865
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:54,392
Chloe went missing a week ago.
866
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:56,870
We'll find her, sir.
867
00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:58,633
I know ya will, numbnuts.
868
00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:01,710
There's also some Intel
in there about some
869
00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:07,799
foreign operatives who positioned
a dirty bomb or something...
870
00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:09,553
and, what else was it?
871
00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:13,031
Oh yeah, there's some bad guys have,
unleashed a, uh, drug war...
872
00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:18,039
But, uh, I think the missing Shitzu
should be our most important mission!
873
00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:19,559
Absolutely, sir.
874
00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:21,836
But I trust you... A-Dog.
875
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:25,759
You..you screw this up
876
00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:29,231
and you're gonna end up
living in a camper down by the river.
877
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:30,799
I already do, sir.
878
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:34,396
My private jet
will take you to the Jersey border.
879
00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:36,790
From there you're on your own.
880
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:39,436
God speed!
881
00:44:45,720 --> 00:44:46,879
I don't understand why they couldn't...
882
00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:49,399
just drop us off at the airport
like normal people.
883
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:53,394
Because we're spies!
Let's land on this hotel.
884
00:44:54,240 --> 00:44:56,436
Can't we land on the nice soft grass?
885
00:44:56,520 --> 00:44:58,671
No, this is where we're staying.
886
00:44:58,760 --> 00:45:00,279
Are you sure it's our hotel?
887
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:01,040
Yes.
888
00:45:01,041 --> 00:45:03,839
You're just trying to hook up
with that hot blonde waitress.
889
00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:05,638
Yeah, she's really cute.
890
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:17,751
You look great in that suit.
891
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:20,196
You do thirty-five hundred sit-ups
892
00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:24,160
and fifteen hundred
push-ups a day, it really pays off.
893
00:45:27,560 --> 00:45:29,199
Get ready A-Dog. I see him.
894
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:33,752
Miss! Miss.
Can I get my cobb salad to go?
895
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:37,591
Not a problem, stud. I mean, sir.
896
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:41,071
You got it right the first time,
sweetcakes
897
00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:44,993
I appreciate all your help.
Can I call you sometime?
898
00:45:45,080 --> 00:45:46,992
I was hoping you would ask.
899
00:45:49,560 --> 00:45:50,516
Midnight.
900
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:54,076
Here's my card. Give me a call.
901
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:55,992
Okay. They're makin' the handoff.
Let's go!
902
00:45:56,560 --> 00:45:57,710
One's goin' north. One's goin' south.
903
00:45:57,800 --> 00:45:59,154
I don't know which one has the drugs!
904
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:01,557
Keep your weekend open.
905
00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:06,475
Only if we can make out
in a hot tub like on MTV.
906
00:46:33,280 --> 00:46:36,034
I'm rich! And I can see!
907
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:37,710
Thanks A-Dog!
908
00:46:40,760 --> 00:46:43,116
Oh there's the dog. Oh.
Oh, if I could have the dog
909
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:44,429
you can keep the drugs!
910
00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:46,790
Hey! Kid!
911
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:51,716
I lost him, A-Dog.
912
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:56,595
Hey! Where are you goin'?
913
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:21,590
I'm sorry honey.
You can't give me a ticket.
914
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:22,560
I'm a spy.
915
00:47:22,561 --> 00:47:25,239
Take one step closer
and you'll be in handcuffs.
916
00:47:25,240 --> 00:47:27,436
If I take two will you
slap me around a little?
917
00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:37,117
Yo! Officer!
918
00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:41,799
All right! The drugs. Thanks, A-Dog.
919
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:42,597
Sure.
920
00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:46,676
What time is it?
921
00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:49,838
I said what time is it?
Tell me what time it is.
922
00:47:49,920 --> 00:47:50,560
You didn't see that?
923
00:47:50,561 --> 00:47:51,630
No. It's your job to tell me what time.
924
00:47:51,720 --> 00:47:52,949
- It was right in front of your eyes.
- You're my assistant!
925
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:54,879
Just tell me what time it is.
It's part of your job.
926
00:47:54,880 --> 00:47:55,677
Ask me again.
927
00:47:56,320 --> 00:47:57,151
What time is it?
928
00:47:58,200 --> 00:48:00,476
- I saw ya look. I saw ya look.
- It's broken.
929
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:02,517
Oh yeah, it's been two days like that.
930
00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:03,272
Why are you wearin' it?
931
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:04,794
It's cool.
932
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:10,593
Oh, those girls are perfect.
933
00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:13,351
Too perfect. Perfect is bad
934
00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:16,035
I like somebody with
some obvious flaws, you know, like
935
00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:17,799
a big scar or a limp or somethin'.
936
00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:18,631
It's less pressure.
937
00:48:18,720 --> 00:48:20,677
My ex-girlfriend was perfect.
938
00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:23,874
Yeah, except
she was missin' a coupla choppers.
939
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:28,199
Three fingers from when she tried
to unclog the lawnmower
940
00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:29,680
and forgot to turn it off.
941
00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:32,675
She was a drooler after
the methamphetamine, uh,
942
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:35,799
stroke, but, uh, other than that,
943
00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:37,154
she was perfect.
944
00:48:38,760 --> 00:48:40,160
She used to be a man, though.
945
00:48:40,240 --> 00:48:41,071
All right, all right.
946
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:42,071
Hey kid!
947
00:48:46,080 --> 00:48:47,400
Who's your perfect woman?
948
00:48:47,480 --> 00:48:49,437
She'd be nice like my mom,
949
00:48:49,520 --> 00:48:53,230
fun like Shelby, smart like Susan,
950
00:48:53,320 --> 00:48:56,119
and beautiful like Arielle.
951
00:48:56,600 --> 00:49:02,479
But, for right now I'd settle
for anyone who really likes me.
952
00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:04,676
You're a very wise man for your age.
953
00:49:05,240 --> 00:49:07,277
All my friends have girlfriends.
954
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:10,558
I wouldn't worry. There are
three billion women in the world.
955
00:49:10,640 --> 00:49:12,711
Let's say half of those
are too old or too young.
956
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:14,473
That's a billion and a half women.
957
00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:17,199
Let's say two thirds
of those are married.
958
00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:19,556
All right.
That's still five hundred million.
959
00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:22,200
Let's say ninety percent
of those are insane.
960
00:49:22,280 --> 00:49:25,273
That still leaves you with
women to choose from.
961
00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:28,159
That's a lotta pressure.
962
00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:29,833
Tell me about it. So relax.
963
00:49:34,600 --> 00:49:35,750
Come on, killer.
964
00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:36,876
Guys, guys...
965
00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:42,837
Come in!
966
00:49:46,600 --> 00:49:47,238
Oh, hey.
967
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:48,037
Hey.
968
00:49:48,120 --> 00:49:50,396
Have you seen Guy, 'cause he's
supposed to keep this place spotless.
969
00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:53,314
Guy asked me to tell you
that he'll be hangin' out in A-Dog's
970
00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:55,960
He said it's much bigger
and a lot less messy.
971
00:49:56,040 --> 00:49:57,030
Right.
972
00:49:57,920 --> 00:49:58,831
Outtakes.
973
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:00,909
- Yeah.
- There are plenty of 'em.
974
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:01,797
Oh, great.
975
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:08,719
And A-Dog has some new ideas
to add to the script.
976
00:50:08,720 --> 00:50:09,278
Okay.
977
00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:11,079
Don't forget the hot tub scene.
978
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:12,231
Hot tub.
979
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:15,199
And he would like
to have two girlfriends.
980
00:50:16,600 --> 00:50:19,718
And he also thought it would be funny
981
00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:23,398
if someone shoved a stick
of dynamite up your butt and lit it.
982
00:50:24,200 --> 00:50:26,439
Okay. I've been a good sport up 'til now
983
00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:28,079
but I'm gonna have to draw the line.
984
00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:30,593
He gets two girlfriends?
985
00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:32,594
So the dynamite's okay?
986
00:50:33,240 --> 00:50:35,755
Well, if somethin' blows up
in his butt first.
987
00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:37,638
The kid's watchin' too many cartoons.
988
00:50:37,720 --> 00:50:38,839
I don't like lookin' stupid.
989
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:41,150
Did you not make a movie
with Steven Segal?
990
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:43,275
That's true. Okay.
991
00:50:44,880 --> 00:50:47,031
Listen, two girlfriends was my idea.
992
00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:50,199
I think Aaron is falling
in love with Arielle...
993
00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:51,999
and having more than one option...
994
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:55,596
might just keep him entertained enough
to get us through this movie.
995
00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:56,431
Smart.
996
00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:03,674
Hey. Maybe you could
talk to him about
997
00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:06,958
the advantages
of having multiple partners.
998
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:10,391
Action!
999
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:10,196
Cut! The dog's not in this shot!
1000
00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:13,711
Action!
1001
00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:16,318
How I do.
1002
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:19,074
The nappers got the dog.
Keep goin' down the alley.
1003
00:52:19,160 --> 00:52:20,514
The coast is clear, man.
1004
00:52:34,560 --> 00:52:35,710
Now where's that dog?
1005
00:52:36,640 --> 00:52:38,632
All right, that's a cut!
1006
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:45,072
Props needs to come in
and measure your butt. Dynamite.
1007
00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:46,232
Great.
1008
00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:47,750
Hey Susan.
1009
00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:51,039
Are you sure it was Aaron's idea
to blow up my butt?
1010
00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:54,192
Honestly... no. It was Guy's.
1011
00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:57,630
But Aaron loved it. Everyone did.
1012
00:52:59,080 --> 00:53:00,400
Hey! Susan.
1013
00:53:01,720 --> 00:53:04,633
I got an idea that could make
this work for everybody.
1014
00:53:14,640 --> 00:53:15,630
Take three. Mark.
1015
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:38,710
Sorry, honey,
but we don't speak Italian.
1016
00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:48,959
If you don't give us fifty million dollars
for the dog and a getaway helicopter,
1017
00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:51,399
we are gonna blow
Lester Loser's butt up.
1018
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:52,675
No deal!
1019
00:53:52,760 --> 00:53:54,879
Look I've been doin' this twenty years
and I know when someone's bluffin'
1020
00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:56,553
and believe me, that chick is bluffin'.
1021
00:53:57,680 --> 00:53:58,557
Maybe not.
1022
00:54:02,440 --> 00:54:03,920
All right, you guys, that's a cut.
1023
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:05,753
Done. It's a great job. Good job.
1024
00:54:06,880 --> 00:54:08,075
Bravo, Guy!
1025
00:54:09,560 --> 00:54:11,392
I can't believe you killed
off my character.
1026
00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:13,439
My fans will be so disappointed
1027
00:54:13,440 --> 00:54:14,078
Don't worry, Guy,
1028
00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:17,073
no fans'll be disappointed because
there are no fans to be disappointed.
1029
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:19,399
The only people that are gonna
see this movie are Aaron and his family.
1030
00:54:19,400 --> 00:54:22,598
No, those are my fans.
Why are you so negative, Bill?
1031
00:54:23,240 --> 00:54:24,674
I think you're, uh, you're jealous.
1032
00:54:24,760 --> 00:54:27,878
You're right! I'm very jealous!
I wanted my butt to blow up.
1033
00:54:27,960 --> 00:54:30,794
Yeah and-a-a- and
I got some bad news for you.
1034
00:54:30,880 --> 00:54:32,599
I can't be your assistant anymore.
1035
00:54:33,960 --> 00:54:35,314
What's the bad news?
1036
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:38,552
Aaron wants me to be his assistant
and he's doubled my pay.
1037
00:54:39,400 --> 00:54:41,312
I don't know how
I'm gonna make it without ya.
1038
00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:42,720
I know, I know, I know.
1039
00:54:42,800 --> 00:54:45,559
But the skills I've learned
under your tutelage
1040
00:54:45,560 --> 00:54:46,959
are gonna last me a lifetime.
1041
00:54:46,960 --> 00:54:48,279
Did you say tutelage?
1042
00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:49,077
Guy!
1043
00:54:55,520 --> 00:54:56,397
Yes.
1044
00:54:57,280 --> 00:54:58,077
Yes.
1045
00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:01,272
Um... we would like
to have former World
1046
00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:04,751
Heavyweight Champion wrestler
Goldberg to be in the movie.
1047
00:55:05,080 --> 00:55:05,638
We would.
1048
00:55:05,720 --> 00:55:06,597
Yes we would.
1049
00:55:06,680 --> 00:55:09,240
Do we realize we're on a schedule,
a very tight schedule.
1050
00:55:09,320 --> 00:55:11,994
We got no more time for any
of his crazy-assed ideas.
1051
00:55:12,080 --> 00:55:13,116
The answer's no.
1052
00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:15,079
Goldberg's out!
You want me to call your pop?
1053
00:55:15,080 --> 00:55:16,879
Yeah. Yeah, call his pop.
1054
00:55:16,880 --> 00:55:19,918
See if I care. I want you
to remember this moment, Guy.
1055
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:23,277
Kids love it when you tell 'em no.
Makes 'em feel safe.
1056
00:55:24,560 --> 00:55:25,277
Aaron!
1057
00:55:27,680 --> 00:55:29,478
You guys disappoint me.
1058
00:55:29,960 --> 00:55:32,319
You really screwed the pooch this time.
1059
00:55:32,320 --> 00:55:35,119
With all due respect sir,
we haven't even found the dog yet.
1060
00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:38,830
I'm bringing in my secret
weapon - Goldberg.
1061
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:43,435
Perhaps he can motivate you.
1062
00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:48,312
What are you laughin' at, jackass?
1063
00:55:49,280 --> 00:55:51,317
Well it's just that, uh...
1064
00:55:52,480 --> 00:55:53,630
It's just...
1065
00:55:53,720 --> 00:55:58,397
It's just sad watching you
sit here on your fat butt,
1066
00:55:58,720 --> 00:56:02,191
while that sweet little
innocent Shitzu...
1067
00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:05,070
is out there all alone and scared.
1068
00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:09,833
While I think of it it should be
you that's scared.
1069
00:56:11,360 --> 00:56:14,478
Well, Goldberg,
why should I be scared?
1070
00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:16,757
Maybe... Oh!
1071
00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:24,157
That's why...
1072
00:56:25,640 --> 00:56:30,112
I'm going to give you one last chance
to get that Shitzu back.
1073
00:56:31,200 --> 00:56:34,352
Got it. All right.
1074
00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:36,439
Let's go find that little bitch.
1075
00:56:40,080 --> 00:56:41,230
A-Dog, it's confirmed!
1076
00:56:41,320 --> 00:56:43,516
The dog nappers are holding
Chloe hostage - in the cockpit.
1077
00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:46,274
I've got back up. We're leading
straight to you in the hangar.
1078
00:56:47,440 --> 00:56:49,193
Lay low.
We're blowin' out the engine!
1079
00:56:50,360 --> 00:56:52,750
There's no way they're gonna crash
into the hangar! We got 'em!
1080
00:57:05,600 --> 00:57:07,910
Oh boy, Chloe, let's go home.
1081
00:57:16,480 --> 00:57:18,472
Here's your puppy, little girl.
1082
00:57:25,640 --> 00:57:27,279
All right, great! That's a cut!
1083
00:57:27,280 --> 00:57:29,237
Ah, boy, ei-yi-yi.
1084
00:57:29,320 --> 00:57:30,595
What's wrong, partner?
1085
00:57:31,560 --> 00:57:32,391
You okay?
1086
00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:33,800
Not really.
1087
00:57:34,600 --> 00:57:37,752
I knew this was gonna happen,
you've exhausted him
1088
00:57:38,200 --> 00:57:41,318
and besides my son does not
call women bitches in a hot tub.
1089
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:46,275
No. No, it's not harmless.
1090
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:48,997
I don't know
where you come up with this stuff.
1091
00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:51,436
You know I love the scene
where Shaq dressed up like a woman.
1092
00:57:51,520 --> 00:57:52,476
You tried to lick his ear!
1093
00:57:52,560 --> 00:57:54,597
That wasn't in the original script,
the kid made me do it!
1094
00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:56,512
I didn't wanna lick his ear!
1095
00:57:56,600 --> 00:57:57,799
- Trust me.
- Sure, sure, sure.
1096
00:57:57,800 --> 00:57:58,312
Right.
1097
00:57:58,400 --> 00:57:58,799
Yeah.
1098
00:58:00,880 --> 00:58:02,872
Honey? What's wrong?
1099
00:58:03,600 --> 00:58:05,119
Aaron's not feeling well.
1100
00:58:05,120 --> 00:58:07,589
I think all this excitement
has finally caught up with him.
1101
00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:09,999
He is allergic to dogs.
1102
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:12,079
If I'd a known that
I never woulda put a dog in the-
1103
00:58:12,080 --> 00:58:14,072
No, no, no. The doctor's with him.
1104
00:58:14,160 --> 00:58:17,232
I've spoken to Susan.
She's canceling shooting for today.
1105
00:58:18,360 --> 00:58:19,794
Hold it on.
1106
00:58:21,400 --> 00:58:22,516
Thank you, Doc.
1107
00:58:23,680 --> 00:58:24,352
Thank You.
1108
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:28,759
Hey buddy, how you feelin'?
1109
00:58:28,760 --> 00:58:29,557
Fine.
1110
00:58:30,400 --> 00:58:32,073
Great. Well listen, you lay low today
1111
00:58:32,160 --> 00:58:34,356
and we'll get right back
at it tomorrow, okay?
1112
00:58:35,520 --> 00:58:39,355
Wait. Would you stay here for awhile.
1113
00:58:40,240 --> 00:58:40,878
Sure.
1114
00:58:40,960 --> 00:58:43,998
Would you rub my head?
It hurts a little.
1115
00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:52,037
You are a little warm there, partner.
1116
00:58:52,960 --> 00:58:55,395
Sometimes my body aches.
1117
00:58:57,520 --> 00:59:00,479
Do do I look silly in my movie?
1118
00:59:00,480 --> 00:59:03,599
Because I don't want people
to make fun of me.
1119
00:59:03,600 --> 00:59:05,592
No, you look heroic.
1120
00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:09,276
People are gonna love you, man.
Now me on the other hand, uh...
1121
00:59:11,400 --> 00:59:12,595
Do you wanna make movies for a living?
1122
00:59:12,680 --> 00:59:14,956
Yes, I love acting.
1123
00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:19,992
I wanna be successful like my dad.
He works a lot.
1124
00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:24,759
I think I'll always bring my kids
along to work with me.
1125
00:59:24,760 --> 00:59:25,876
I bet you will.
1126
00:59:26,720 --> 00:59:30,270
Bil... I love Arielle.
1127
00:59:31,600 --> 00:59:32,480
Well,
1128
00:59:32,481 --> 00:59:34,676
I know sometimes when you're acting
with somebody it seems like-
1129
00:59:34,760 --> 00:59:36,035
I'm not acting.
1130
00:59:37,280 --> 00:59:38,714
I love her.
1131
00:59:40,960 --> 00:59:43,316
Would you ask Arielle if she loves me?
1132
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:47,832
Well I'm sure
that she loves you Aaron, it's...
1133
00:59:47,920 --> 00:59:50,480
I think she has a boyfriend.
1134
00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:52,479
Is he good looking?
1135
00:59:52,480 --> 00:59:54,949
I'm sure he's good looking
but he's also in a boy band
1136
00:59:55,040 --> 00:59:56,279
so he's probably gay.
1137
00:59:56,280 --> 00:59:58,159
Listen, you gotta be patient.
1138
00:59:58,160 --> 01:00:00,159
Relationships are complicated.
1139
01:00:00,160 --> 01:00:03,073
Sometimes it's better to just be
friends with your beautiful co-stars.
1140
01:00:04,520 --> 01:00:06,591
That's easy for you to say, Bill.
1141
01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:08,753
You're not a virgin.
1142
01:00:10,640 --> 01:00:12,632
True. Let's watch the movie.
1143
01:00:14,080 --> 01:00:15,399
Yeah. It's the best part.
1144
01:00:15,400 --> 01:00:16,320
Do you like Jamie Lee Curtis?
1145
01:00:16,321 --> 01:00:19,154
- I love Jamie Lee Curtis. She's hot.
- Yeah she's... Yeah.
1146
01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:19,673
Yeah.
1147
01:00:22,120 --> 01:00:24,680
Up until now it was all going so well.
1148
01:00:24,760 --> 01:00:27,599
We were able to borrow footage
from the original True Lies...
1149
01:00:27,600 --> 01:00:29,353
to move our movie story along.
1150
01:00:29,720 --> 01:00:32,639
And because it's a private venture
it didn't cost us a cent.
1151
01:00:32,640 --> 01:00:33,679
So we've stolen it.
1152
01:00:33,680 --> 01:00:38,118
Borrowed. We made excellent use
of the green screens for background.
1153
01:00:38,200 --> 01:00:40,157
And I think the scenes
where we superimposed
1154
01:00:40,240 --> 01:00:43,399
Aaron's face
on Arnold Schwarzenegger's body
1155
01:00:43,400 --> 01:00:47,519
turned out really nicely.
Maybe even better than the original.
1156
01:00:48,320 --> 01:00:50,880
Worst case scenario could
we wrap this up without Aaron?
1157
01:00:50,960 --> 01:00:54,556
No. No, we have to have Aaron
for one more day.
1158
01:00:54,640 --> 01:00:57,235
That hot tub scene
is so important to the story.
1159
01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:00,638
And we've got Arielle.
I mean it pays off the whole movie.
1160
01:01:08,680 --> 01:01:10,000
I got you! You're dead!
1161
01:01:10,080 --> 01:01:11,992
I killed you first you dirty son of a...
1162
01:01:13,240 --> 01:01:13,718
Sorry.
1163
01:01:13,800 --> 01:01:14,631
Hi, Mom
1164
01:01:14,720 --> 01:01:15,551
Hi, mom.
1165
01:01:16,600 --> 01:01:17,160
Get in bed.
1166
01:01:17,160 --> 01:01:18,037
- I feel better.
- No...
1167
01:01:18,120 --> 01:01:19,395
I feel better, Mom.
1168
01:01:19,480 --> 01:01:21,073
The doctor said you needed to rest.
1169
01:01:21,720 --> 01:01:22,999
Come on, sweetie.
1170
01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:24,514
But I feel better,
1171
01:01:24,600 --> 01:01:26,193
Mom. No.
1172
01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:27,200
Hey I-I'm Bill
1173
01:01:27,201 --> 01:01:28,680
I feel a lot better.
1174
01:01:28,760 --> 01:01:30,240
- Bill's just trying to help.
- Nice to meet you.
1175
01:01:30,320 --> 01:01:31,599
Would you excuse yourself
1176
01:01:31,600 --> 01:01:32,954
- so I can speak to my son?
- Come on, Mom.
1177
01:01:33,040 --> 01:01:34,793
It's okay sweetie. It's okay.
1178
01:01:35,480 --> 01:01:36,311
Please...
1179
01:01:37,200 --> 01:01:39,119
No, don't worry about it.
1180
01:01:39,120 --> 01:01:43,519
It's just... The people back home
think that L.A. is a crazy place anyway.
1181
01:01:43,520 --> 01:01:45,159
Bonnie can be a little overprotective.
1182
01:01:45,240 --> 01:01:47,675
I don't think it's overprotective
to worry about my son's health.
1183
01:01:47,760 --> 01:01:48,796
That's not what I meant.
1184
01:01:49,400 --> 01:01:50,470
How's Aaron?
1185
01:01:50,880 --> 01:01:52,280
He's resting tonight.
1186
01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:55,515
Then I'm taking him back
to Illinois with me in the morning.
1187
01:01:56,160 --> 01:01:56,911
For how long?
1188
01:01:57,600 --> 01:02:00,199
For the rest of the summer.
His California vacation is over.
1189
01:02:00,200 --> 01:02:01,080
You can't do that.
1190
01:02:01,081 --> 01:02:02,196
Why, Davis?
1191
01:02:02,280 --> 01:02:03,509
Because you want
to spend time with him?
1192
01:02:03,600 --> 01:02:05,353
Or because he has to finish his movie?
1193
01:02:05,440 --> 01:02:06,112
Both.
1194
01:02:07,280 --> 01:02:09,715
Look, we'll have a birthday party
for him back there.
1195
01:02:10,400 --> 01:02:12,119
You know, I-I read the script.
1196
01:02:12,720 --> 01:02:14,999
I can't believe that you would risk
your son's safety like that.
1197
01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:16,599
You let him jump out of an airplane?
1198
01:02:16,600 --> 01:02:16,953
No.
1199
01:02:17,040 --> 01:02:18,156
No-no, no. We fake that.
1200
01:02:18,240 --> 01:02:19,196
It's called 'movie magic'.
1201
01:02:19,280 --> 01:02:21,840
Believe me, if it had been dangerous
we woulda had a midget do it.
1202
01:02:22,600 --> 01:02:24,034
My son is fragile.
1203
01:02:24,120 --> 01:02:26,239
A- and you know that
he was allergic to dogs.
1204
01:02:26,240 --> 01:02:28,197
Remember ten years ago? Sparky?
1205
01:02:28,280 --> 01:02:29,157
The emergency room?
1206
01:02:29,240 --> 01:02:31,118
He loves dogs. It was just one day.
1207
01:02:31,200 --> 01:02:33,679
Yeah and you had him
fighting with grown men?
1208
01:02:33,680 --> 01:02:36,199
The swearing?
The exposing him to loose women?
1209
01:02:36,200 --> 01:02:38,192
The hot tub scene was Aaron's idea.
1210
01:02:38,280 --> 01:02:39,555
We haven't even shot it yet.
1211
01:02:39,880 --> 01:02:40,996
And you won't.
1212
01:02:41,080 --> 01:02:44,159
I- I know why you did it.
You did it for the money.
1213
01:02:44,160 --> 01:02:46,391
But you... you're his father.
You're supposed to protect him.
1214
01:02:46,480 --> 01:02:49,393
Bonnie, calm down. You can't do this.
1215
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:52,674
Yes I can.
Read the custody agreement.
1216
01:02:55,920 --> 01:02:59,231
She seemed pretty bent outta shape.
Who is she again?
1217
01:02:59,320 --> 01:03:01,915
Hey, listen, man,
I-I'm scared of my ex-wife, too.
1218
01:03:02,880 --> 01:03:08,592
Well. I'm not scared it's just that
well she might be right.
1219
01:03:08,680 --> 01:03:12,754
I- I... I don't think
we have much choice.
1220
01:03:13,840 --> 01:03:16,079
I guess this is it fellas.
1221
01:03:16,080 --> 01:03:18,640
I'll give Susan a call and let her know.
1222
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:19,911
Okay.
1223
01:03:20,680 --> 01:03:22,831
We'll pack our stuff up
and hit the road.
1224
01:03:22,920 --> 01:03:23,640
Can I stay?
1225
01:03:23,641 --> 01:03:25,599
No, Guy, the show's over.
1226
01:03:25,600 --> 01:03:26,919
I'll get you the rest of your money.
1227
01:03:26,920 --> 01:03:27,512
Keep it.
1228
01:03:27,600 --> 01:03:28,431
No, I couldn't.
1229
01:03:28,520 --> 01:03:30,989
No. I already got more than I deserved.
1230
01:03:31,080 --> 01:03:34,391
Besides, there's more important
things in life than money.
1231
01:03:34,920 --> 01:03:36,513
I learned that from you guys.
1232
01:03:37,920 --> 01:03:38,840
Come on, Guy.
1233
01:03:38,841 --> 01:03:41,799
Well if I had a phone
I'd give you my number.
1234
01:03:42,200 --> 01:03:43,475
Thanks for everything.
1235
01:04:03,880 --> 01:04:04,950
Go away.
1236
01:04:27,800 --> 01:04:30,156
Well, uh, what do I do now?
1237
01:04:31,720 --> 01:04:33,154
Whatever you want.
1238
01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:38,320
No one's ever given me a check
1239
01:04:38,400 --> 01:04:41,234
for four hundred
forty-five thousand dollars before.
1240
01:04:41,320 --> 01:04:42,356
You earned it.
1241
01:04:42,440 --> 01:04:44,272
Yeah. I like to think so.
1242
01:04:45,400 --> 01:04:47,869
Does this include the eighteen dollars
you owe me for pizza?
1243
01:04:49,520 --> 01:04:50,795
I'm gonna miss you, Guy.
1244
01:04:54,400 --> 01:04:56,437
I'm gonna see ya around Bill, right?
1245
01:04:57,320 --> 01:04:57,992
Some day.
1246
01:06:35,320 --> 01:06:37,039
Susan Mandeville's next project...
1247
01:06:37,120 --> 01:06:42,115
is a huge action/adventure starring
Arielle Kebbel and Rosie O'Donnell.
1248
01:06:50,520 --> 01:06:51,271
My turn to drive?
1249
01:06:51,360 --> 01:06:52,280
Give me the page.
1250
01:06:52,280 --> 01:06:52,918
What you talkin' about?
1251
01:06:53,000 --> 01:06:55,390
It jumps from page 9 to page 11.
Where is page 10?
1252
01:06:55,480 --> 01:06:56,516
It's gotta be a typo.
1253
01:06:56,600 --> 01:06:57,670
Give me the damn page!
1254
01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:01,590
Okay.
1255
01:07:20,800 --> 01:07:23,076
And Aaron,
who's going to see this film?
1256
01:07:23,400 --> 01:07:26,757
Everyone.
My whole family, my friends,
1257
01:07:26,840 --> 01:07:29,230
and the basketball team from school
1258
01:07:29,320 --> 01:07:32,799
will fly out here
from Illinois to my party.
1259
01:07:32,800 --> 01:07:34,792
Why did you choose Bill Williams?
1260
01:07:34,880 --> 01:07:39,636
Because he's the funniest actor
ever except Adam Sandler.
1261
01:07:39,720 --> 01:07:42,189
And-and I love Bill Williams.
1262
01:07:42,280 --> 01:07:46,240
He's a good man, no matter
what everyone says about him.
1263
01:07:46,320 --> 01:07:47,549
I felt sorry for him.
1264
01:07:47,640 --> 01:07:48,391
Why?
1265
01:07:49,680 --> 01:07:51,719
Sometimes he's sad.
1266
01:07:51,720 --> 01:07:54,838
I think it's because
he doesn't have a family.
1267
01:07:56,400 --> 01:07:58,879
Are you having a good time
making this movie?
1268
01:07:58,880 --> 01:08:03,799
Man. This is the most fun
I've ever had in my whole life.
1269
01:08:03,800 --> 01:08:05,837
It's my dream come true.
1270
01:08:36,440 --> 01:08:37,669
I'm here to see your mom.
1271
01:08:37,760 --> 01:08:38,716
Mom!
1272
01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:44,391
If you give me five minutes of your
time and I'll be out of your life forever.
1273
01:08:45,160 --> 01:08:48,471
This is the most fun I've ever had
in my whole life.
1274
01:08:48,560 --> 01:08:49,960
It's my dream come true.
1275
01:08:53,800 --> 01:08:56,235
Girls, can you give us some privacy?
I need to talk to Bill.
1276
01:09:00,600 --> 01:09:02,637
Listen, Bill, I'm sorry about your movie.
1277
01:09:03,440 --> 01:09:05,875
It's not my movie, it's Aaron's movie.
1278
01:09:07,240 --> 01:09:08,640
I wanna show you something.
1279
01:09:13,200 --> 01:09:15,760
That's when he was one.
Tiny little bug.
1280
01:09:16,320 --> 01:09:19,119
That's still how I see my boy
so I protect him.
1281
01:09:19,400 --> 01:09:21,312
I understand, Bonnie,
you're a good mother.
1282
01:09:21,880 --> 01:09:24,839
But the thing youhave to understand
is next week Aaron goes back to school.
1283
01:09:24,920 --> 01:09:26,957
What happens when everyone
comes up to him and asks him
1284
01:09:27,040 --> 01:09:29,236
about the movie he was doing this summer?
'Cause you know Aaron.
1285
01:09:29,320 --> 01:09:30,879
He probably bragged a little
1286
01:09:30,960 --> 01:09:34,397
and invited people to the premier
and kids can be mean.
1287
01:09:35,000 --> 01:09:37,834
Listen, he's already helped the homeless,
he got drugs off the streets,
1288
01:09:37,920 --> 01:09:40,759
he saved the Shitzu.
All the crazy action stuff is over.
1289
01:09:40,760 --> 01:09:45,118
All that's left is one tiny,
harmless hot tub scene...
1290
01:09:45,200 --> 01:09:46,156
and the movie is complete
1291
01:09:46,240 --> 01:09:48,914
I know. I know to you it's a silly,
stupid scene.
1292
01:09:49,000 --> 01:09:50,639
But it's Aaron's dream.
1293
01:09:50,640 --> 01:09:51,596
And it's a silly, stupid dream
1294
01:09:51,680 --> 01:09:54,514
of every other seventeen year old
boy in America.
1295
01:09:55,400 --> 01:09:56,754
With what he's been through in life...
1296
01:09:56,840 --> 01:10:00,311
if his passion is to be an actor
and play the hero in a movie,
1297
01:10:00,840 --> 01:10:01,876
he should.
1298
01:10:04,600 --> 01:10:08,560
I love your son, too.
And I promise you he'll be safe.
1299
01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:10,275
No offense.
1300
01:10:10,360 --> 01:10:13,671
But this is a head with glasses.
1301
01:10:13,760 --> 01:10:15,752
Aaron's not a little boy anymore.
1302
01:10:16,440 --> 01:10:18,397
But he doesn't understand things.
1303
01:10:18,480 --> 01:10:19,311
Like what?
1304
01:10:19,400 --> 01:10:21,392
Like the difference
between fact and fiction.
1305
01:10:21,480 --> 01:10:24,199
But he does.
Please don't underestimate your son.
1306
01:10:24,200 --> 01:10:25,839
Did you know that
he's in love with Arielle?
1307
01:10:26,400 --> 01:10:27,197
Yes.
1308
01:10:29,200 --> 01:10:30,600
She'll break his heart.
1309
01:10:32,320 --> 01:10:34,479
Maybe. Probably
1310
01:10:34,480 --> 01:10:38,360
But that's part of growin' up.
It's part of life.
1311
01:10:38,440 --> 01:10:39,920
You and I know that.
1312
01:10:41,000 --> 01:10:42,879
Listen, you were right about me.
1313
01:10:42,880 --> 01:10:44,439
I took this job for the money.
1314
01:10:44,920 --> 01:10:48,550
But for some strange reason
I have to finish it for your son.
1315
01:10:51,080 --> 01:10:53,072
Bonnie, please?
1316
01:10:54,720 --> 01:10:55,232
But the script says
he's gonna be in the...
1317
01:10:55,320 --> 01:10:57,277
Forget the script. The script sucks.
1318
01:10:57,360 --> 01:10:58,680
I don't want my son swearing.
1319
01:10:58,760 --> 01:11:00,752
No, no swearing. No.
1320
01:11:02,720 --> 01:11:03,676
And he's too young for the...
1321
01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:05,672
No, he's a kid. Forget it.
1322
01:11:05,760 --> 01:11:08,355
You do allow him
in warm bubbly water, right?
1323
01:11:14,160 --> 01:11:15,389
Coach Dickerson!
1324
01:11:19,000 --> 01:11:21,117
Bring it in. Come on, bring it in.
1325
01:11:21,200 --> 01:11:22,953
Aren't you...?
1326
01:11:23,640 --> 01:11:26,394
I used to be. Didn't you used to be...
1327
01:11:27,640 --> 01:11:28,517
Still am.
1328
01:11:30,640 --> 01:11:31,676
Mom.
1329
01:11:32,400 --> 01:11:33,959
Why is Bill here?
1330
01:11:33,960 --> 01:11:37,271
Coach, can Aaron be excused
from practice for a few days?
1331
01:11:37,560 --> 01:11:39,950
Just a few. He's important to us, too.
1332
01:11:40,040 --> 01:11:42,680
Let's go mister.
You guys have a movie to finish.
1333
01:11:45,520 --> 01:11:46,112
Hell yes.
1334
01:11:46,200 --> 01:11:49,477
I mean-I mean heck yes.
I-I told you guys.
1335
01:11:51,720 --> 01:11:52,471
Let's roll.
1336
01:12:06,200 --> 01:12:07,793
It's just like you imagined, huh?
1337
01:12:08,480 --> 01:12:10,312
Are you ready
for your big scene partner?
1338
01:12:10,400 --> 01:12:11,436
Yeah... I guess.
1339
01:12:12,200 --> 01:12:13,236
What's wrong?
1340
01:12:14,040 --> 01:12:18,398
Would you get in the hot tub with us?
I'm a little nervous.
1341
01:12:18,800 --> 01:12:21,360
Don't be nervous. Okay?
1342
01:12:21,440 --> 01:12:25,639
But the kissing.
I've never kissed a girl.
1343
01:12:25,720 --> 01:12:27,712
You can do it. You're an actor.
1344
01:12:27,800 --> 01:12:30,235
It's like kissing your mom,
only longer.
1345
01:12:31,600 --> 01:12:33,592
Can you show me? Mom!
1346
01:12:35,800 --> 01:12:36,836
Can you show me?
1347
01:12:37,400 --> 01:12:38,356
Bill?
1348
01:12:38,440 --> 01:12:39,396
Hi.
1349
01:12:40,080 --> 01:12:41,275
It's okay, Bonnie, uh,
1350
01:12:41,360 --> 01:12:43,670
I'm sure you did a little acting
in grade school. Okay.
1351
01:12:43,760 --> 01:12:45,353
You kiss your mom like this.
1352
01:12:45,800 --> 01:12:47,712
Because it's your mom.
And you got a history.
1353
01:12:47,800 --> 01:12:48,999
You can take her
for granted a little bit.
1354
01:12:49,000 --> 01:12:49,831
You know what I mean?
1355
01:12:49,920 --> 01:12:52,560
But a girlfriend needs
constant reassurance.
1356
01:12:52,640 --> 01:12:56,680
So you carefully caress her face
and look into her eyes.
1357
01:12:56,760 --> 01:12:57,671
And you...
1358
01:13:00,400 --> 01:13:02,559
Yeah. Okay, let me show you
one more time. Okay?
1359
01:13:02,560 --> 01:13:03,596
Uh, mom.
1360
01:13:04,560 --> 01:13:05,471
Girlfriend.
1361
01:13:19,400 --> 01:13:20,356
Am I done?
1362
01:13:21,600 --> 01:13:24,354
Thanks, Mom, you did really good.
1363
01:13:26,200 --> 01:13:27,600
You did a great job.
1364
01:13:28,600 --> 01:13:32,230
Would you still please get
in the hot tub with us?
1365
01:13:32,680 --> 01:13:33,397
Please, Bill?
1366
01:13:35,360 --> 01:13:36,271
Help me up.
1367
01:13:39,800 --> 01:13:42,634
I don't like to take my shirt off in
frontof people because I'm a little fat
1368
01:13:45,720 --> 01:13:47,393
You can do it, Bill.
1369
01:13:47,760 --> 01:13:51,117
I'll help you.
It's easy Bill, you're an actor.
1370
01:13:54,200 --> 01:13:55,111
Oh boy.
1371
01:14:00,200 --> 01:14:01,156
All right.
1372
01:14:01,240 --> 01:14:03,835
All right! Whoo!
1373
01:14:08,960 --> 01:14:10,997
Okay, let's do it.
1374
01:14:12,200 --> 01:14:13,759
This is the very last scene in the movie
1375
01:14:13,840 --> 01:14:14,830
and I want this to be good, okay?
1376
01:14:14,920 --> 01:14:16,036
Okay, are we takin' it from where?
1377
01:14:16,120 --> 01:14:17,634
We're takin' it from the very top.
1378
01:14:17,720 --> 01:14:18,232
Okay.
1379
01:14:18,320 --> 01:14:18,673
Okay.
1380
01:14:18,760 --> 01:14:19,477
Gimme the phone.
1381
01:14:20,200 --> 01:14:21,156
Did she say action?
1382
01:14:21,240 --> 01:14:23,118
No! Hold on! Action!
1383
01:14:23,200 --> 01:14:26,352
To my partner.
The greatest spy that ever lived.
1384
01:14:27,440 --> 01:14:27,998
Mark.
1385
01:14:28,520 --> 01:14:29,795
Let's get the dialogue right this time.
1386
01:14:29,880 --> 01:14:32,475
All right, we're tryin' To my partner.
1387
01:14:32,880 --> 01:14:35,520
To... To my partner.
Quiet! Over there.
1388
01:14:35,600 --> 01:14:36,795
Yeah, what's up with you guys?
1389
01:14:37,600 --> 01:14:40,434
Well, once again you've saved the world.
1390
01:14:40,880 --> 01:14:43,918
To my partner.
The greatest spy that ever lived.
1391
01:14:45,000 --> 01:14:47,071
Hold on! We got a plane.
1392
01:14:48,200 --> 01:14:48,997
- Hey Penelope?
- What?
1393
01:14:49,080 --> 01:14:51,595
- Can Shaq delay his line a little bit?
- Quiet on the set.
1394
01:14:51,680 --> 01:14:52,238
Okay.
1395
01:14:54,760 --> 01:14:55,671
A-Dog.
1396
01:14:55,760 --> 01:14:58,319
A-Dog it's the president.
He would like to talk to you.
1397
01:14:58,320 --> 01:14:59,800
Really? You're not French.
1398
01:15:01,000 --> 01:15:02,070
That's a cut. Cut!
1399
01:15:02,400 --> 01:15:03,516
Quiet!
1400
01:15:04,200 --> 01:15:05,714
All right, you guys keep-keep going.
1401
01:15:05,800 --> 01:15:06,677
- Next time you keep on goin', all right?
- We got it.
1402
01:15:06,800 --> 01:15:11,079
- You just keep on going don't stop.
- We got it.
1403
01:15:11,160 --> 01:15:11,880
You're gettin' ready to talk
1404
01:15:11,881 --> 01:15:13,280
to the president
of the United States. Oh my God.
1405
01:15:14,120 --> 01:15:14,871
Listen...
1406
01:15:15,720 --> 01:15:16,440
Did you fart?
1407
01:15:16,441 --> 01:15:18,750
No, man. My butt wasn't...
1408
01:15:19,360 --> 01:15:20,237
Mark!
1409
01:15:20,320 --> 01:15:21,390
Are you ready to kiss her?
1410
01:15:21,480 --> 01:15:22,914
Yeah. When, now?
1411
01:15:23,000 --> 01:15:23,956
Yeah, you can kiss her.
1412
01:15:24,040 --> 01:15:25,599
Arielle, is it okay if he kisses you?
1413
01:15:25,600 --> 01:15:26,192
Yeah.
1414
01:15:26,280 --> 01:15:27,191
Bill's gonna talk you through it.
1415
01:15:27,280 --> 01:15:29,158
Like this.
Like I showed you with your mom.
1416
01:15:29,240 --> 01:15:30,599
Touch her face, look in her eyes.
1417
01:15:30,600 --> 01:15:31,351
Oh, yeah.
1418
01:15:35,000 --> 01:15:36,514
Did-did we get it once right?
1419
01:15:37,040 --> 01:15:37,640
Yeah.
1420
01:15:37,641 --> 01:15:39,393
I- I believe I got it.
1421
01:15:39,480 --> 01:15:42,120
That is a wrap!
1422
01:15:43,000 --> 01:15:45,913
Thank you for a great job...
1423
01:15:46,720 --> 01:15:47,676
Let's party! Whoo!
1424
01:15:56,440 --> 01:15:57,430
Susan.
1425
01:15:57,800 --> 01:15:58,472
Susan.
1426
01:15:58,560 --> 01:15:58,993
Hey.
1427
01:15:59,080 --> 01:16:01,993
Hey. Thank you for comin' back
and finishing the movie.
1428
01:16:02,080 --> 01:16:03,230
I really appreciate it.
1429
01:16:03,800 --> 01:16:04,756
Oh, God, it was fun.
1430
01:16:04,840 --> 01:16:06,115
Yeah, it was.
1431
01:16:07,800 --> 01:16:09,393
So what's next for you?
1432
01:16:09,480 --> 01:16:13,119
Oh big plans,
I'm gonna disappear for awhile.
1433
01:16:13,120 --> 01:16:15,039
Take a long, long trip, you know.
1434
01:16:15,040 --> 01:16:17,079
Oh, I wish I could do that some time.
1435
01:16:17,080 --> 01:16:19,720
Yeah. I'm lucky. I guess.
1436
01:16:31,520 --> 01:16:32,920
Maybe they'll get it right.
1437
01:16:38,280 --> 01:16:43,514
Aaron. Aaron. A-Dog!
1438
01:16:45,760 --> 01:16:47,479
Act like you're real paparazzi.
1439
01:16:47,560 --> 01:16:49,870
All right, all right, keep shootin'.
1440
01:16:49,960 --> 01:16:51,199
Aaron Roman. Aaron Roman.
1441
01:16:51,200 --> 01:16:51,800
Yeah, yeah.
1442
01:16:51,801 --> 01:16:54,039
Superstar. How does that feel?
1443
01:16:54,040 --> 01:16:56,600
Weird now. But I'll get used to it.
1444
01:16:56,680 --> 01:16:58,599
Arielle, how is Aaron as an actor?
1445
01:16:58,600 --> 01:16:59,636
He's the best.
1446
01:17:00,160 --> 01:17:02,595
Now, you guys play
boyfriend-girlfriend in the movie.
1447
01:17:02,680 --> 01:17:03,875
Anything goin' on off screen?
1448
01:17:03,960 --> 01:17:06,759
I love Aaron.
He's like a brother to me.
1449
01:17:07,400 --> 01:17:08,072
Darn.
1450
01:17:19,320 --> 01:17:21,277
Excuse me, h-uh, how are you
involved in the picture?
1451
01:17:21,360 --> 01:17:23,158
Actually I packaged the entire thing.
1452
01:17:23,600 --> 01:17:24,112
Who are you?
1453
01:17:24,200 --> 01:17:25,793
Aren't you Johnny Bernstein?
1454
01:17:26,280 --> 01:17:27,839
Are you an actress?
You look so familiar.
1455
01:17:27,840 --> 01:17:28,600
No.
1456
01:17:28,600 --> 01:17:29,556
A waitress at Morton's?
1457
01:17:29,640 --> 01:17:30,357
No.
1458
01:17:30,440 --> 01:17:31,112
Are you a stripper?
1459
01:17:31,200 --> 01:17:33,759
No. You used to be married to my mom.
1460
01:17:33,760 --> 01:17:35,592
Oh, you're gonna have
to be more specific than that.
1461
01:17:35,840 --> 01:17:36,557
Yvette?
1462
01:17:37,000 --> 01:17:37,911
Yvonne...
1463
01:17:38,000 --> 01:17:40,117
No, my mom's name is Yvette.
1464
01:17:40,360 --> 01:17:41,191
Are you sure?
1465
01:17:42,200 --> 01:17:44,039
I just don't remember why we broke up.
1466
01:17:44,040 --> 01:17:45,838
Because you kept hitting on my aunt.
1467
01:17:46,320 --> 01:17:47,439
I don't remember that.
1468
01:17:47,440 --> 01:17:49,113
And then my mom stabbed you?
1469
01:17:49,760 --> 01:17:50,839
I do remember that.
1470
01:17:50,840 --> 01:17:51,990
Ooh, she's a lotta laughs.
1471
01:17:52,080 --> 01:17:53,992
Listen Have your mother call me.
1472
01:17:54,080 --> 01:17:56,595
As a matter of fact
why don't you have your aunt call me.
1473
01:17:57,800 --> 01:17:59,996
Here's one for you.
Are you cute or what?
1474
01:18:00,080 --> 01:18:00,797
Ew.
1475
01:18:02,200 --> 01:18:02,920
Jeffrey!
1476
01:18:02,921 --> 01:18:04,991
Davis! Over here.
1477
01:18:05,080 --> 01:18:07,515
Shelby. For your next movie
will you adopt me?
1478
01:18:08,960 --> 01:18:11,794
How did. What is this?
1479
01:18:14,560 --> 01:18:16,711
Listen. It's eight o'clock now.
1480
01:18:16,800 --> 01:18:19,793
Pick me up at ten o'clock sharp right
here and take me back to the motel.
1481
01:18:20,880 --> 01:18:22,959
Suck in your stomach
I can't get you in my frame.
1482
01:18:22,960 --> 01:18:24,235
Shut up, kid, Jesus.
1483
01:18:28,040 --> 01:18:29,394
Hey Davis, Shelby,
1484
01:18:29,480 --> 01:18:32,359
Bonnie. Wow, you look incredible.
1485
01:18:33,680 --> 01:18:34,716
I mean you look incredible too,
1486
01:18:34,800 --> 01:18:38,032
Shelby and, Davis...
I hope you like this movie
1487
01:18:38,120 --> 01:18:39,156
I'm sure I will.
1488
01:18:39,440 --> 01:18:43,593
But who cares?
I've never seen my son so happy.
1489
01:18:44,320 --> 01:18:46,915
And that's what making
this movie was all about.
1490
01:18:47,480 --> 01:18:48,470
Thank you.
1491
01:18:49,040 --> 01:18:50,190
Now I would've sent a limo for you
1492
01:18:50,280 --> 01:18:51,519
but no one knew
where you were staying.
1493
01:18:51,520 --> 01:18:53,239
Oh, I-I'm at the Four Seasons,
1494
01:18:53,240 --> 01:18:55,999
but I like cabs,
'cause I like to conserve the fossil fuels.
1495
01:18:56,000 --> 01:18:57,799
You sound like you should be
running for governor.
1496
01:18:57,800 --> 01:18:58,711
Yeah right, I'm an actor.
1497
01:18:58,800 --> 01:18:59,756
Who'd vote for me?
1498
01:19:02,600 --> 01:19:03,716
And I wanna thank you.
1499
01:19:04,120 --> 01:19:04,997
For what?
1500
01:19:05,080 --> 01:19:08,960
Wearin' that dress for one thing but,
also for raisin' a great son.
1501
01:19:09,040 --> 01:19:10,394
Bonnie, family photo.
1502
01:19:10,680 --> 01:19:11,397
Come on, Mom.
1503
01:19:11,480 --> 01:19:12,277
Get in there.
1504
01:19:14,000 --> 01:19:15,593
I am hearing a buzz.
1505
01:19:15,680 --> 01:19:17,911
You come to my office next week,
we're gonna talk about your career.
1506
01:19:18,000 --> 01:19:21,118
I think you should represent Aaron.
1507
01:19:23,880 --> 01:19:26,119
Have him call me. Sure.
1508
01:19:26,120 --> 01:19:27,031
Bobby!
1509
01:19:28,600 --> 01:19:31,638
You guys are lookin' great.
What a beautiful family.
1510
01:19:32,160 --> 01:19:34,516
One more. Thank you very much.
1511
01:19:35,000 --> 01:19:37,469
Waiter! Get me another
apple-tini, proto.
1512
01:19:37,560 --> 01:19:39,916
And some waxed dental floss. Waxed.
1513
01:19:40,800 --> 01:19:41,312
Hey, Guy.
1514
01:19:41,400 --> 01:19:42,880
Hey, thanks for the money,
1515
01:19:42,960 --> 01:19:45,600
dude, but I-I probably don't need it
since I'm gonna be stayin' on here,
1516
01:19:45,680 --> 01:19:48,559
workin' with the family.
You know, event planning,
1517
01:19:48,640 --> 01:19:50,079
lawn maintenance, etc.
1518
01:19:50,080 --> 01:19:52,231
And I've quit drinking. In the day time.
1519
01:19:52,320 --> 01:19:53,356
Aaron asked me to.
1520
01:19:54,280 --> 01:19:56,192
I asked you to quit drinkin' fifty times.
1521
01:19:56,560 --> 01:19:57,080
Did you?
1522
01:19:57,080 --> 01:19:57,720
Yes.
1523
01:19:57,721 --> 01:20:00,319
Funny, I don't remember.
I musta been drunk.
1524
01:20:00,320 --> 01:20:00,912
Yeah.
1525
01:20:01,440 --> 01:20:04,558
I think, Bunny's got the hots for me.
What do ya think?
1526
01:20:05,040 --> 01:20:07,999
I think that you guys
have a lot in common.
1527
01:20:08,520 --> 01:20:10,000
Go get her, go get her, go get her.
1528
01:20:10,840 --> 01:20:13,958
Yes, best of party.
1529
01:20:16,320 --> 01:20:16,992
Hi.
1530
01:20:17,560 --> 01:20:21,440
How about you
and me startin' a bunny farm?
1531
01:20:27,000 --> 01:20:27,877
Thank you.
1532
01:20:29,000 --> 01:20:29,956
Hi, Mom.
1533
01:20:32,080 --> 01:20:35,198
I wanted to thank
everyone for being here.
1534
01:20:35,280 --> 01:20:38,876
Susan. Thank you
for making a great movie.
1535
01:20:40,080 --> 01:20:41,912
My director Penelope.
1536
01:20:44,200 --> 01:20:47,716
And my assistant, Guy.
You rock.
1537
01:20:47,800 --> 01:20:51,271
Arielle. I love you.
1538
01:20:52,400 --> 01:20:54,073
Am I forgetting anyone?
1539
01:20:58,800 --> 01:21:01,952
Oh, Chloe, the dog.
You did a great job.
1540
01:21:03,280 --> 01:21:07,719
I did this movie to show the world
I could do anything.
1541
01:21:07,720 --> 01:21:11,509
But mostly I made this for you.
Mom and Dad.
1542
01:21:11,800 --> 01:21:13,837
I hope you are proud of me.
1543
01:21:14,280 --> 01:21:17,000
I wanna make
a difference in this world.
1544
01:21:17,680 --> 01:21:20,912
I wanna show the world
we can all be heroes.
1545
01:21:27,440 --> 01:21:29,352
Go ahead and roll the film!
1546
01:21:48,600 --> 01:21:51,240
Gentlemen,
this is the most important
1547
01:21:51,320 --> 01:21:54,597
and complex assignment
I've ever given anyone.
1548
01:21:54,680 --> 01:21:57,399
That's why I called on you... A-Dog,
1549
01:21:57,400 --> 01:21:59,551
because you're
the best America's got.
1550
01:22:00,200 --> 01:22:01,359
Yeah, dispatcher,
1551
01:22:01,360 --> 01:22:03,795
I'm here at the theater
for my ten o'clock pickup.
1552
01:22:03,880 --> 01:22:05,360
Copy that, Gizmo.
1553
01:22:06,600 --> 01:22:08,114
There's no way they're gonna
crash into the hangar!
1554
01:22:08,200 --> 01:22:08,917
We got 'em!
1555
01:22:20,720 --> 01:22:23,110
Oh boy, Chloe... Let's go home.
1556
01:22:25,800 --> 01:22:28,479
Well, once again
you've saved the world.
1557
01:22:28,480 --> 01:22:31,632
To my partner, the greatest spy
that ever lived!
1558
01:22:31,720 --> 01:22:34,440
I couldn't have done it
without my ladies.
1559
01:22:34,840 --> 01:22:36,194
You're cool, A-Dog.
1560
01:22:36,440 --> 01:22:38,272
Mad love from me
and my sistas. A-Dog!
1561
01:22:40,840 --> 01:22:42,279
A-Dog
1562
01:22:42,280 --> 01:22:45,399
It's the President.
1563
01:22:45,400 --> 01:22:46,800
He would like to talk to you.
1564
01:22:51,000 --> 01:22:52,919
Well, Mr. President,
1565
01:22:52,920 --> 01:22:55,037
you think the economy's in trouble?
1566
01:22:55,120 --> 01:22:58,431
Well I'm in the middle
of a trouble sandwich.
1567
01:22:59,440 --> 01:23:02,079
Can you call me back
tomorrow in the p.m.?
1568
01:23:02,080 --> 01:23:04,356
A-Dog is in for a big night.
1569
01:23:05,400 --> 01:23:06,959
Peace out, man.
1570
01:23:15,400 --> 01:23:18,711
Bill, I bet you thought
I forgot about you.
1571
01:23:19,560 --> 01:23:20,471
Why are you out here?
1572
01:23:20,560 --> 01:23:22,756
This is for you. Thank you.
1573
01:23:23,800 --> 01:23:26,554
Well, it's your birthday.
I shoulda gotten you something.
1574
01:23:29,680 --> 01:23:30,591
How did you...?
1575
01:23:30,680 --> 01:23:32,159
I got connections.
1576
01:23:32,160 --> 01:23:33,239
Why?
1577
01:23:33,240 --> 01:23:36,312
You're family now. Right Mom
1578
01:23:36,400 --> 01:23:38,756
Yes. Because of your
kindness to my son
1579
01:23:38,840 --> 01:23:42,199
you will always be part
of our great, crazy family.
1580
01:23:42,200 --> 01:23:44,510
Whether you like it or not.
Right Dad?
1581
01:23:44,600 --> 01:23:45,477
That's right son.
1582
01:23:45,560 --> 01:23:46,471
You have no choice.
1583
01:23:47,240 --> 01:23:48,919
I love you, Bill.
1584
01:23:48,920 --> 01:23:49,876
Okay?
1585
01:23:50,520 --> 01:23:51,476
We all do.
1586
01:23:52,640 --> 01:23:55,519
See Bill.
You'll never be alone again.
1587
01:23:56,200 --> 01:23:58,431
You know, this movie
came out so good...
1588
01:23:58,520 --> 01:24:00,034
I'd like to finance a real one.
1589
01:24:00,120 --> 01:24:02,476
It's like you're in my mind reading it.
Get outta there!
1590
01:24:03,200 --> 01:24:04,634
All right. I have a great idea.
1591
01:24:04,880 --> 01:24:08,669
Tomorrow night, we meet
at Mr. Chow's, on you D.R.,
1592
01:24:09,000 --> 01:24:10,798
and we'll seal the deal.
1593
01:24:11,400 --> 01:24:15,917
Susan, maybe you should rewind it
to the hot tub scene.
1594
01:24:19,480 --> 01:24:20,834
I forgot my gift.
1595
01:24:21,200 --> 01:24:21,951
Save me a seat.
1596
01:24:22,040 --> 01:24:23,315
- I will.
- Okay.
1597
01:24:29,200 --> 01:24:30,919
Well you don't need this anymore.
1598
01:24:32,440 --> 01:24:34,033
Did you make all this happen?
1599
01:24:34,640 --> 01:24:35,437
It was Aaron.
1600
01:24:36,040 --> 01:24:37,110
We helped a little bit.
1601
01:24:37,640 --> 01:24:39,677
What, do think we'd let
anything happen to you?
1602
01:24:39,760 --> 01:24:41,479
We're partners, remember?
1603
01:24:41,800 --> 01:24:42,756
What is real?
1604
01:24:43,320 --> 01:24:45,118
Everything behind that curtain.
1605
01:24:47,040 --> 01:24:47,720
Hi guys!
1606
01:24:47,720 --> 01:24:48,437
Hi Aaron!
1607
01:24:48,520 --> 01:24:49,280
Hey, kiddo!
1608
01:24:49,281 --> 01:24:51,920
Hurry up, Bill,
or you'll miss the kiss.
1609
01:24:53,640 --> 01:24:54,756
You better go inside.
1610
01:24:55,400 --> 01:24:56,151
What about you?
1611
01:24:56,240 --> 01:24:57,230
I'll see you later.
1612
01:24:57,320 --> 01:24:59,676
Come on aren't you gonna say
I'll be back.
1613
01:25:01,200 --> 01:25:02,395
All right.
1614
01:25:03,320 --> 01:25:05,471
No-no. All right. No.
1615
01:25:06,400 --> 01:25:08,312
- No. It's old.
- Tired.
1616
01:25:08,400 --> 01:25:10,631
It's really old. And we're old.
1617
01:25:10,720 --> 01:25:12,234
I'm old. Come on.
1618
01:25:17,000 --> 01:25:19,117
Bill, sit-sit down.
1619
01:25:22,840 --> 01:25:24,797
That is me.
117215
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