Original subtitles

Come on, boy.

And that's number 33.

Half and half, bleak and roach. - I've also got a bite.

It's not my day. Eleven, with this catfish here.

May I borrow the bottle?

Tasty and fresh. - May the fish bites.

If the fish bites.

Attention! Be careful with the line.

He broke off because you were too short.

No, I even walked into.

I tried to work him out.

We should have had a stronger line.

You don't need to learn fishing.

You only need an electric line. - At least I'd get bites.

Heard that braggart.

But he just stands beside.

Dry your tears, You've still got your keychain.

If we shall warn your wife, just say so.

What a dick.

See you tomorrow? - No, not tomorrow.

I need to work with the papers for my retirement.

But after tomorrow if you want. - As you wish.

See you, mate.

Edouard may first.

Consonant. - N.

Vowel. - U.

Vowel. - A.

Consonant. - B.

Vowel. - O.

Consonant. - D.

Consonant. - G.

Consonant. - R.

Laurent - Only five letters.

Six. - Edouard

Gardon. - That's it.

Entirely in silk and cotton.

You'll look beautiful.

Come, old lady, let's eat.

Tonight it's fish. Fresh fish.

Enjoy it. Tomorrow it's can again.

Tomorrow dad's going to be on stage.

Come on.

You know everything. - I don't know anything.

Only you know little. - I'm tired of him.

Here we go again. Yesterday religion, horses today.

I only know one religion: Trade. And only one God: Lottery.

Let's pay, we can't talk here anyway.

You call that talk? - Absolutely.

I'm leaving. He goes on my nerves. - That's new.

Any bites?

Roach and bleak?

88 inches, ten minutes fight.

That's not a fish. It's a calf.

Hi, guys. - Hi, butcher.

88 inches, ten minutes fight. - Nice beast.

I'll freeze it and serve to my kids. If they come.

And... where'd you get that shark?

Do you tell me where you find your mushrooms?

How many did you get this season? - Four. Edmond caught two.

Edmond talked about it. I met him in Angers this morning.

Is he on the hunt again? He was with a woman.

Not bad. Little old.

But I just saw him very short.

Do you know more, Emile?

He doesn't tell me everything.

Dad... - I've no money, Baptiste.

Not everything...

How was your date yesterday? Worked out?

I wondered when you would ask.

He should be concierge instead of butcher.

I knew it wouldn't take long when he saw me.

He didn't waste time with his big mouth.

Well, I was with a woman.

Damn!

Since I got divorced ten years ago,

I had fifteen dates already.

First advertisements and tea-dances,

then I went to a dating service.

And you and the women...

you know...

You know what I mean. - If I screw them?

Not every time. But often.

Three years ago I met one...

You should have seen her.

Huge tits. Legs as long as a beanstalk.

She was rather mindless. But in bed... not to be tamed!

She lay on her back better than a goat on her legs.

A fury!

Do you fancy a mouthful? - Why not.

How about an omelet, maybe? - Excellent.

Wait, I must show you something first.

Welcome to my private life.

My secret garden.

My life's work.

Goddamn.

Goddamn!

Are those women posing for you?

I paint nudes, not historical monuments.

I use pictures from porn magazines.

And wool for more realism.

It's quite cute.

You're good at it, old boy.

I bought the house to store the pictures,

but it also inspired me a lot.

What's that? - From my surreal period.

A blue period I havn't had.

I prefer your naked women. Who's that?

This is... The Playboy centerfold from June.

Good man.

Here, those are for you. The pike you caught last month.

Your record catch. Exactly the same length.

I didn't have a larger canvas, so I did it in two parts.

I'd never take another woman.

The memory of Jeanne, her illness...

You have to dare. Dare!

You shouldn't live in the past.

I want to enjoy my life.

My philosophy is:

the present doesn't exist, only the future.

Anyway... I think I picked the grand prize.

I found the woman of my life.

I met her at the ball. It's two months now.

Lucie is cultured. She owns lots of books.

She is beautiful.

Nude...

she may be best.

And in bed...

we are on the same wavelength.

I think my single life is over.

A pear brandy? Good for digestion.

Why not.

I gotta tell you how it happened with the beautiful Lucie.

Drink it all at once.

We met...

We met, ooh...

about eight times.

We liked each other, but something was missing.

And then one night she asked me in for tea.

I thought: now or never.

We go inside, I take her... and I kiss her.

We're like two links to each other.

Impossible to loosen.

It would be appropreate with pliers.

The present doesn't exist, Only the future...

The present...

The present doesn't exist, only the future.

That's crazy. No way!

Condolences.

We bet on the horses together.

Condolences.

It will be a void.

Condolences.

Condolences.

I was a friend of your father. - A friend of my father.

We meet at the club?

You can ride.

A bottle of Chardonnay.

Married or hung!

You weren't careful about cologne. You smell.

I have to. Otherwise, I'd smell chicken.

I prefer chicken.

You don't know what you're saying.

Do you mind chicken?

It smells like the plague. Horrible.

Pigs are worse.

No way. Chickens are worse.

But still, pigs...

I've tried both, I must know.

Yes, but with genetic engineering

a pig-chicken will stink worst.

I hear from Reno that Edmond's children

chose the cheapest coffin.

Maybe it's not even marble.

Reno said also...

He talked about his problems with the heat wave.

Two coffins exploded from compost gases.

So as a precaution, if the coffin would swell...

he made a buttonhole.

What? - A buttonhole.

What's that?

A cut in the belly with his knife and wham, no more gas.

Damn it. - That's sick.

I'll go on, men.

And if the dead had just eaten beans

it would be more gas than usual?

Good afternoon. May I?

Emile Garreau.

I saw you at Edmond's funeral.

He was a friend.

Lucie Gaillet.

Did you know Edmond well? - Yes.

We went fishing together.

We knew each other for seven years.

It will not be the same.

I found him last Thursday.

We should go fishing.

He was lying on the ground by his paintings.

He painted?

He never told me.

I've never been to his home. He had invited me, but...

What di he paint?

I can hardly describe it. But he wasn't without skill.

He looked very peaceful. He didn't suffer.

Coming from Angers?

Yes. The bus is in one hour.

I can give you a lift if you want.

You live well here. - Yes.

I live at the 2nd floor but there's an elevator.

I've all the shops nearby.

And the hospital isn't far.

I won't delay you any longer. Probably someone's waiting for you.

No, no. I live alone. I'm a widower.

All right, thank you for the lift.

You're welcome.

Goodbye. Till next time maybe.

If you feel like talking... - Yeah, maybe. Goodbye.

Bend your head!

You have to sit on the saddle! - Watch out for your brother!

It burns at Edmond's, damn!

Old perv.

Ready? Go.

At 5:00 I've to get the chickens in the cage,

an awful job I tell you.

Already two years the fucking agency has nothing else.

I've also done digusting work. Castrated chickens.

Castrate chickens, nice to have on your resume.

Neatly filled.

By the way.

Has Edmond's son taken the cat?

Are you crazy?

I give the animal food, but coming close...

I don't. Thank you.

Last Monday...

My telephone rang.

My cat Mimi slept on it. She's stone-deaf, I didn't disturb her.

We love our animals.

Are you ready? It's food.

Almost. Just clean up, darling.

And you, Emile? You're coming or not?

Are you dreaming?

Yes, yes, I did.

Breath in.

Breath out.

Well, get dressed again.

Everything's okay.

I see that not so long ago we did a check-up.

Something on your mind?

I don't sleep good.

I'll prescribe you sleeping pills.

How are you?

I'm fine. It must go. - Right.

I go swimming with friends.

But I'm a little early out. so I'll go and have tea.

Want to join me? - Why not.

What work did you do?

Horticulture. Horticultural worker.

And you?

Secretary. But not long. I stopped when I got married.

You must like plants. - Very.

I'm good in pruning and maintenance.

And for fun I grew bonsai trees.

You must know how to prune,

and to see them grow you need a lot of patience.

You have to keep an eye on them, all the time...

You like to dance? I just love it.

I go every week.

Usually single women dance together, because there are no men.

Can you dance Bossa Nova? - Yeah... Well, yes.

That's good.

I love Tango, Jerk,

Rock... Also Disco.

But Bossa Nova is best.

You dance with your heart. It comes from the inside, from here.

It feels so good.

I got to go. My friends are waiting.

No, don't bother. I'll pay. - Thank you.

If you're in town again and want to talk...

or dance, please call. I'll give you my number.

Here you are.

Thanks again for the tea. - Anytime.

Next time I'll pay.

Goodbye.

Five places at the table.

And with the seats folded down, you have a double bed.

Quite spacious.

And look, there's even a chemical toilet.

And a shower. - Nice, huh?

I bought it second hand,

but I get 5 years warranty and a free satellite dish.

Nice, huh?

Yes, it's a caravan.

Coffee's ready.

Lets see.

That is the picture from the ultrasound.

Oh, ultrasound. Well.

Well. And what's this?

The head.

And that? - The other head.

Okay.

So there are two heads. - Yes, it's twins.

Two boys, Emile. - Really?

ln our time it didn't exist.

No, you don't see it. Bullhead.

I'll get my hat, I'm cold.

No, stay, I need to pee again. I'll take it along.

On a chair in the room. - I'll find it.

The death of your friend was a shock.

That's life.

I'd like to see something new. Travel a little.

Was it expensive, your caravan? - Well, pretty.

I'll put it as a gift.

No, we can't accept, Dad. - But yes.

Think of it as an advance on your heritage.

Smart. - Nothing smart, that's life.

Here you are.

Not bad, these paintings above your bed.

Gather your paintings?

No, it's Edmond who made them.

He gave them to me.

The pike is pretty good, but... these naked women.

I must have a look!

Has Bruno told what we want to do? Well, what we are doing?

We'll take you on vacation.

That's very sweet, baby, but it's not necessary.

Not necessary.

An old man like me would only be in the way.

It's not a proposal but a command.

No, but... No, I can't leave.

My stuff isn't packed.

It takes ten minutes. We'll help you.

And my vegetable garden.

Squash and tomatoes can wait.

Always the same with those old people. We don't push you.

Come on!

It's certainly not for everyone, but...

The attitude is daring, but well done.

Especially the hair and pubic hair.

I can't go. I met someone.

What do you mean?

I met a woman, we like each other and I can't come.

But that's beautiful, Emile.

Why didn't you tell earlier, Dad? - Well, why?

Telling such things isn't easy.

I feared you'd blame me. - Come on.

Are you mad?

Drive careful!

Did you find it easily? - Sure.

Look, for you. - Thank you. Really.

I see that everyone who comes

has brought a dish and I have nothing.

It's embarrassing.

Don't worry, I've got enough for both of us.

Shall we?

May I dance all dances with you? - Of course.

DJ ROLLlNG STONED

Attention, ladies! Here comes the music!

One, two, three! Start!

Attention, young ladies! Time for some funk!

A cup of herbal tea? - Yes.

Take a seat.

Sorry it took a while.

Lime-mint, Verbena, Evening Pleasure...

Evening Pleasure.

I also have something stronger if you wish.

Evening Pleasure is fine.

It's long ago I had such a nice time.

I also have cookies. Like some?

Well.

Did you know that Edmond and I met through an ad.

We both liked to dance.

He was a good dancer.

But life goes on. It must. - I gotta go.

So fast. - I gotta go.

Already? - Sorry. Good evening.

Which cigarettes would you recommend

for someone who hasn't smoked for thirty years?

Wait a minute...

Give me SMOKE IS DEADLY with the red cover.

Thanks.

Of course, lost.

Now, watch.

There you go. And I win again.

I have no job,

I never win the lotto.

and here I lose also. - The downward spiral.

Five chips. - No, no...

I won five of your chips. Come on.

Here you are.

Rules are rules. - Five isn't six.

May I? - Sorry.

It's not your turn.

Who do you think you are? Be careful.

What are these bills?

Meanwhile, have a white wine.

Everything okay?

Unemployed.

I'm still on welfare.

Guess what!

''Dear friends of the Penalty, have a long and happy life.

Greetings. Emile.''

Emile? - Where does it come from?

It's not standing on. Can you read the stamp?

19... Seillac.

19 is Corr�ze. - You sure?

I know all departments completely with capital.

It's Corr�ze.

You do what you can.

What's he doing? He doesn't travel.

No...

Jesus? - No, no. My name is Christian.

Everything okay? Shall we call a doctor?

No, no. I was just dizzy. It's nothing.

Are you sure?

You want a warm drink? - Please.

I havn't had breakfast.

What are you doing around here? You don't have to answer.

No problem.

I've lived here. Long ago.

When I was little.

These are my oldest memories.

That's David.

Give the same tobacco.

Unbelieveable.

Nothing has changed.

We are not really handy, so we left it as it was.

Everything okay? You're not fainting? - No, no.

Have a seat. Want something warm? Tea, coffee?

There's also warm beer. Someone left it outside.

Tea is fine.

No water, damn. I must go to the river.

Isn't there any water?

No. Electricity, gas... We don't pay.

We must go to the river.

Is the well dry?

Which well? - The one from the house.

Behind the house. By the two cedars.

Let a pebble fall down, we'll hear how deep it is.

I bet that Andy doesn't even know he has a well.

You've completely changed our lives.

Where is that old guy now?

You've changed our lives.

With jerrycans into the river, that was really hard.

We should celebrate. Are you staying tonight?

I don't want to bother you. - Please, we'd appreciate it.

ln that case...

I bring the wine. - You have to go to M�rac.

Can you give us a lift? Then we can go to the store.

Are you with the car? - Yes, but I don't like to hurry.

Never mind, we have all the time.

Stop here! We provide the dessert.

Here, self-service.

But that is theft! - No, it's Pierre Bero.

The bag that fucked up the whole village.

Bero? Pierre Bero? - Yes.

Yes, now I remember. Same age as me.

At school he was an asshole.

Well, Pierre Bero.

Again something that hasn't changed.

Poached apples, there's nothing better, huh?

I came here as a child for swimming.

It's still as wild as before.

Amazing.

The last pays a round!

To go slowly in is hardest.

It's great, join us.

I just walk around, I'll come later.

No, and you?

Finally. We thought you wouldn't come.

Elderly people need some time. - We didn't hear that.

Look at that!

I used to be here as a child, I remember it well.

But the water was warmer.

Liar. - Really. Or else...

Or else I was younger.

Isn't it changed? - Not at all.

It's still as pristine as it was.

Please!

I'll have a sunbath now, The water is cold.

Damn... I got a boner. Damn, a hard-on.

Already dressed?

You got hot in the water and in the sun you're freezing.

You don't need to be ashamed for your body.

A naked old man can be as beautiful as a young one.

Maybe.

But both can be quite foolish.

I can tell you...

How are you doing here?

I came 11/2 years ago with my friend Andy.

He moved away, I staid.

No, I meant... the way you live here.

I lived with my parents.

I got along with my father, but not with my mother.

When my father died, I went on the road. Travelling.

As long as it lasts. For now I like it.

And you?

I chose bonsai trees as a hobby because it requires little space.

I have no driver's license because I don't like speed.

And I make circles in the water because it leaves no traces.

But you're happy?

I'm learning it again.

That's all right.

Here, try at least once.

Why not.

Good night, see you tomorrow. - Good night.

Smoking a joint under the stars is great.

We are like the stars, We each have our place.

Look, it's missing a star, The Great Rabbit isn't the same.

The Great Bear, you mean?

The Great Rabbit.

I better go and sleep.

You too?

I'd like, but I can't move.

That happens sometimes with weed. - Really?

Shall I help you?

I don't refuse.

Whenever you want.

Whenever you want.

Whenever you want...

Did you have a nightmare?

It's still early, sleep on.

We haven't raped you. When we make love, we ask first.

I got bite!

And now?

Like this.

Thank you.

You have another box for maggots? - No, only this one.

Wait.

Here.

I've also got a bite, look!

Yesterday the well, today the fish... You're like Santa Claus.

I had two great days with you.

And I'm grateful.

But I'm leaving tomorrow.

I*ve to go home.

You were here only two days. - Well...

I've some unfinished business. I must go back.

Nothing is important enough to leave so fast.

Yes, mademoiselle. A declaration of love.

Well! - Then you shouldn't wait.

Because I'm going to leave early, I'll sleep in the caravan.

Then I won't wake you up.

Good night, young people. - Good night, Emile.

I want to give you something.

I thought a little weed...

Thank you.

Well, goodbye. Hope to see you again.

You never know.

Hi, Lucie. I love you.

Do you? That's nice.

We can sleep together, in order to seal it.

No, no...

We don't need to find a haystack.

We have your bed.

Or do you prefer standing, in your slippers?

Good as well.

What? Well, I'm still horny. It's a gift of nature.

Well... Good night.

I'm too old. - I'm not that young either.

I could be your father. - But you're not.

I'm with someone.

Tomorrow you leave. Then it's too late.

Don't you like me? - I do. Of course.

Well then?

Leave the light on, Emile.

I want us to see each other when we make love.

Some scrapes and sprains, that's all.

But you were unconscious, so we kept you here.

In five or six days you may go home.

There's a visitor for you Can I let her in?

Yes.

May I come in? - Yes.

How are you? Do you have much pain?

Could be worse.

A beautiful view.

Sorry, I forgot to present myself. My name is Lyse Vall�.

I never beat around the bush, so I say it right away.

My insurance company has advised me to meet you.

I don't have bad conciousness. But I'm here anyway.

I'm responsible for the accident.

It's my fault.

I have no one at home to blame me

so I thought you'd like to do it yourself.

I'm ready.

''Women at the wheel, blood on the wall...''

''Bitch.''

Whatever you want.

Go ahead.

I don't say I like you crashed into me...

but I'm still alive. I'm still alive.

May I? - Go ahead.

Well.

Maybe I'd better go.

I better vanish before your family is here.

They may not be as understanding as you are.

No, I'm a widower and my kids don't know yet.

ln that case...

Maybe I'll come visit you. - Please.

I can bring something to read, if you want.

I'd like to, but...

You can also bring flowers, but I prefer chocolate.

You must go now, ma'am, I must take care, sir.

I was almost gone.

lt's noted. - See you tomorrow.

We turn back the sheets,

the tablets on the table and we forget our shit isn't sweet.

Pardon? - Suppository, please turn around.

''He is rigid, motionless, He bites, punctures,

wither, kills trees, plants, insects.

The birds fall from the branches on the hard ground

hard as the clutches of the cow.''

I love to read.

When I was a schoolteacher, I read every day a chapter for the kids.

You have any?

What? Children?

Yes, I have two. And I'm also grandmother.

And... you live alone?

I've been divorced for a while.

An ordinary divorce. Nothing special.

Shall I read the newspaper? - Yes please.

I can't see anything without glasses.

I love them. - Delicious. Beautiful mature.

I love but them rarely eat one. - They're wonderful.

This one's tough.

We rest there for a moment. - No, a little further.

Not so fast, not so fast.

The fresh air does me good.

Now I've deserved one.

Now I've known for you 5 days. - Yes.

I find you very likable...

and attentive.

You make me laugh.

But I... - Want a joint? A joint.

The hospital kicked you out for a joint, at our age!

You are unique, I can confirm that.

Are you sometimes a little stubborn?

Look!

Our roadcross!

It's not a EU wine. Not exactly a Grand Cru.

But it's pretty good.

Liar.

The cassoulet was delicious.

If you really like them,

I'll give you the label of the can and the bottle.

I warn you right away, the dessert isn't much better.

Thank you.

It's even worse than I thought. There's only yogurt.

But organic.

Take sugar?

You lean very heavy on me. Are you overdoing?

Here's your room.

Won't you like?

I do. Give me ten minutes to get ready.

Good morning.

What are you doing? - I'm exploring.

I count folds, wrinkles

and I caress them with my hands full of age spots.

Come.

We are crazy, huh? - A little bit.

It scares me.

You know...

if our relationship goes well, I can't leave my home.

Me neither.

Well...

Well.Then let's keep both our own homes

and sometimes visit each other.

Often, you mean.

Yes.

Often.

Okay, huh?

LTA.

Hurry!

The buckets!

Quick, quick! - This is funny.

Throw and don't miss.

Like at Tour de France!

No harm intended! I'll show you the ropes.

We gotta go. - Let's go.

Jump in.

Let's see the horsepowers.

Yeah, you're very pretty.

What's up?

He did the same two days ago.

Come one, bitch!

Sorry, but she has conked out.

No! Not today, no!

Have you missed me? - A tiny little bit.

Well?

We had a problem with the car to pick you up.

Only...

A friend wanted to come, but his car's on strike.

If you prefer a taxi, no problem. It's okay for me.

Take me with you.

Nobody ever has taken me on such a journey.

You are truly unique.

ls the bet is still valid? - Absolutely.

Maybe 4 fishes is too much.

Well, then 3.

Then I'll repeat the conditions.

The one who first catches three fishes,

may ask the other one anything sexually.

No, one!

Translation: The Huge Animal From The North