All language subtitles for off the

"I'm off then".

That was about all I said to my friends
before I set out.

"I'll just be hiking
through Spain for a bit."

Instead I could've been at home,
lying on my favorite red sofa,

drinking hot chocolate and
eating a piece of lovely cheesecake.

"lmagine that, my husband
gave me 20 red roses today.

Now I'll have to
spread my legs again for a fortnight."

"Why? Don't you have a vase?"

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Awesome, HP, awesome!
- Brilliant!

Look, there he is!

You were great!

Hang on.
- Great performance, HP.

You look like shit!

Thanks.

You okay?

Don't forget the meet & greet
with the Häfeles from Schwäbisch Hall.

We want more!
- I just saw him. - Really!

I can do one more.
- No way, you can hardly stand straight!

I'm fit as a fiddle.

HP!

HP!

Not listening to your inner voice
shouting "Take a break!"

for months on end will take its toll.

The symptoms were similar, but it
wasn't a heart attack. You were lucky.

But we had to remove your gall bladder.

Do I need it?
- You can live without it.

You'll lose weight.
- I should've had it taken out sooner!

You had acute hearing loss recently?
- It was a hoot.

Do you suffer from circulatory problems,
sweating attacks, shortness of breath?

Definitely.

The biliary colics were a warning.
Too much stress can kill you.

So what's he supposed to do now?
- Nothing.

Do nothing for three months.

Very funny.
- I'm not kidding, Herr Kerkeling.

I'd hate to fill in your death
certificate next time. I'm a big fan.

"Herr Kerkeling,

what did you do all evening

yesterday?"

"I spent the whole evening

doing nothing."

"Beatrix,
you're an expert at doing nothing."

HP, we have to talk.
Please call me back.

This is Micha from "Talk at 8".

My answering machine is spilling over!

Hello, Herr Kerkeling! I'm sure

you're quite busy, but I wanted
to ask you about the Beatrix movie.

Now get cracking!

I'm starting to get worried.
Please call me.

What's with the search for God nowadays?

In an age when you can do everything
from the comfort of your own sofa,

are long journeys still worthwhile?

Do we have time for them?

What if God makes a mistake?

God doesn't make mistakes.

Never?
- No.

Unfortunately.
- Why unfortunately?

Because it means that we simply
have to accept everything that happens.

But if he did make one,
by accident. Why couldn't he undo it?

After all, he's God!

You're right there, Hans Peter.

But God moves in mysterious ways.

And we have to trust in Him.

I'm sure God has a plan
for you, Hans Peter.

THE WAY OF ST. JAMES

Who are you calling?

My therapist. She can help you...

Dörte, I don't need a shrink!
What I need is a vacation.

An 800 km hike
through the mountains with a bunch of

lunatics, who all want your autograph?

You call that vacation?
- 791.

791 km.

On foot. You?

Alone? What you need

is two or three months
on a Maldives beach. No stress,

no shows, no fans.
If you want some exercise, do yoga!

Shirley MacLaine went there too.
- Did she? - Yes, indeed!

It's not just lunatics who go there.
- HP,

people go there in search of God.

Yes, exactly.

When you arrive at the end, your sins
are forgiven. All of them. Sounds great.

Do you believe in God?

Do I believe in God?
That's some question to ask!

Here's a pancake. Just for you.
- No.

A sandwich, my boy? With blood sausage.

Won't you eat anything, my boy?

I'm worried, Grandma.
- What about?

Mom.

Mom's fine where she is now.

And where is she?

With the Lord, Hans Peter.
With the Dear Lord.

There are things
I haven't thought about for too long.

Do I believe in God?

No idea.

For now I only believe one thing.
If I go on like this, I'll be finished.

All I know is the stage.

I know nothing about my life or anything.

A bit of hiking never harmed anyone.

The worst thing that can happen
is that I'll get as slim as a gazelle.

You'd better keep in touch,

or I'll send a search party after you.

Do you really think
there'll be many Germans?

There are many Germans everywhere!

So I'll be...

I'm off then.

I'M OFF THEN

"Do you know who you really are?"

No. "Pas du tout!"

JUNE 9TH - SAINT-JEAN-PIED-DE-PORT

Look!

You can't skimp here. You'd be
saving in the wrong place. Believe me.

Am I really in the right place here?

Or am I one of thousands of lunatics?

So far at least I feel like...

like I'm in a clerical comedy.

Did you bring a caddy?

The Camino is a trail,
not an air-raid shelter. You don't need

any of that stuff, believe me.

I hope no one recognizes me.

There you are!

Look what I bought, a Camino gnome.

Good afternoon.
- Bonjour.

HP Kerkeling. It's him.
- Don't start that again!

It's him, I'm sure!
- No,

it's not.
- Smartypants!

Who thought he saw George Clooney
last year? We followed him for hours!

He looked just like him.

He was from Garmisch-Partenkirchen.

I'm going to talk to him.
Excuse me, aren't you...?

Hey!

Votre profession?
- Artist.

Votre profession?

Your profession?
- Listen!

Think you're someone special, do you?
Cutting the line like that. - What?

Votre profession?
- Artist. - Writer.

Well what do you know? The spirit of an
artist in the body of a German taxman!

Excuse me!
- I'm an artist.

Certainly.

Thanks. - And you?
- Journalist. Bristol Today.

What do you know? The spirit of a poet
in the service of an English tabloid.

I do not write for a tabloid!

Ladies and gentlemen,

you're pilgrims now.

At the end of the trail,
in St.-Jacques-de-Compostelle,

you will receive
a gilded certificate in Latin,

La Compostella.

With it all your sins

will be forgiven.
- And if you're free of sin?

You can go home now.

Monsieur, you're in bed

number 14.
- Merci, Monsieur.

Mademoiselle, bed number 5.
By the window. - Hey, Chief!

We were here before them.

I've hated sleeping in youth hostels
ever since my school days.

My clairvoyant travel guide
says that every pilgrim

will cry at least once on the way.

Hi there!

But please, not on the first day.

So this is where so many people
look for answers every year.

Personally, I'm looking more
for the right question.

The most important thing is
that I'll be walking. The whole way.

I can't believe it.

20 to 30 kilometers every day.

A couch potato sets off on a trek.

God help me.

Show-off!

God,

Yahweh,

Shiva,

Ganesha,

Zeus,

Buddha,

Allah,

Krishna,

Jehovah,

whatever his name may be,

does God really exist?

Buen camino.
- Bon camino.

Look who it is! The Artist!

Yes, you go on ahead.
I'll catch up,

eventually.

Would you mind if l...?

Thanks!

100% WATERPROOF

Oh no!

No thanks, I don't smoke.
"High on life!"

Wonderful isn't it? This view!

What a sight!
- I know you.

Why must you always be right, Dörte?

From the souvenir shop in Saint-Jean.

Oh, I see.
- You're the one with the cane.

Stella. As of 1988 from Stockholm.

Hans Peter,
from Recklinghausen from the start.

Buen camino!

Don't give up too soon.
- Give up what?

The reason
you're doing this to yourself.

Can I ask your reason
for doing this to yourself?

Sure you can.

SOMEWHERE IN THE PYRENEES

So? Is it like you imagined it?

On the contrary!
It's too good to be true.

I've got a great hotel. I'll have
a nice glass of red wine later on.

Yes, I saw the photos on the internet.
It looks great. ls the weather good?

It's uhm...

wonderful.
- Oh, that's nice.

You're not missing anything here.
It's been pouring with rain for days.

HP?

Hello? Are you still there?

I will now say goodbye to all
my expectations and have thoughts

that I don't usually have time for.

I've never felt the need
to document my life in writing,

but here I feel the urge
to write down every detail.

For who am I to talk to here,
if not to myself?

My grandma always said
"Don't keep asking questions,

trust in God."

Somehow...

He will make everything whole again.

In His very own way.

My darling.

Listen, my boy,

I'm supposed to give you this
from your mom.

You have to take care of it now.

What if, at the end of my journey,
they said, "Sorry,

God doesn't exist.
Bad luck. There's nothing there.

Nothing at all!"
Could I handle that? Nothing?

It'd be pointless to waste
my valuable time, looking for something

that may not even exist?
So I will postulate that He does exist,

and instead ask,

"Who is God? Where is He?
And who is looking for Him here?"

May I introduce myself?
Hans Peter Wilhelm Kerkeling,

36 years old, German, Sagittarius,
ascendant Taurus, Rhinelander by choice,

artist, smoker,
Dragon, according to the Chinese Zodiac,

swimmer, writer,
customer, comedian, voter,

viewer, reader, listener and pilgrim.

I don't even really know who I am.
How am I supposed to know who God is?

JUNE 10TH - RONCESVALLES

I've undertaken the greatest
forced march of my life,

but I won't punish myself further
by sleeping in this Refugio.

No bed.
- No bed? Why only take the stamp?

You don't need a bed?
- I'll stay in a hotel.

Hotel? What hotel?
Pilgrims must stay in the refuges,

to exchange their experiences
with the other pilgrims.

Understand?

I love exchanging experiences,
but you can keep your athlete's foot.

Sorry?
- Yes.

Well done!
I didn't think you had it in you.

That makes two of us.

Don't worry, you can quit tomorrow.
24 km downhill. Great for the knees.

The chances of someone
like you making it? Slim. - Thanks.

"Someone like me!"

I've dragged myself this far,
so I'll drag myself up there too.

So, not a fan of Refugios either, right?

No idea why people want to stay there.

They want to look forward to going home.

Can I buy you a glass of wine?
- No, thank you.

Red wine, please!

Tonight I'm going to eat and drink.
I don't care. Maybe I'll be lucky.

Maybe I'll drop dead on the way
tomorrow and go straight to Heaven.

Then I won't need to go on searching.

What are you searching for?

If only I knew. That'd be something!

I understand.

Really?
Then maybe you could explain it to me.

You'll find out for yourself.

I have to go.
- Where to?

To pitch my tent.
- You sleep in a tent? Every night?

I want to look forward
to going home too.

See you around!
- See you around!

Realization of the day:
making a pilgrimage hurts.

Very well. First I'll start searching
for myself, then for God.

Maybe I'm lucky
and God lives close to me.

Then again, if He lives in Wattenscheid,
I'm in the wrong place altogether.

I wonder if it's a good idea

to cross the Pyrenees on flip-flops.
Whatever. Go on, Fatty, you'll manage.

Hello! Hello!

Is it far to Pamplona?

About 1 C) km.

Thanks a lot. You've saved my life.

He doesn't like driving.

We all have our weaknesses.

JUNE 12TH - PAMPLONA

No, Hans Peter, be yourself.
This is not you. Don't go slumming.

Life is short. The Camino is long.

Where is the nearest hotel?

Here's the key. Fourth floor.

Maybe you'd better
take the bus to Viana.

Realization of the day: someone around
here is doing his best to break me!

If you hadn't switched off the alarm,
we'd have been here ages ago. - I didn't!

So who did? St. James?
- Who cares?

They're pretty cruel, these Spaniards.
What happens in the arenas, the bulls...

We don't have any of that.

I just hope I can go on tomorrow.

After this trip I'll know as many words
for sore feet as the Eskimos do for snow.

I'm quitting, really.

You have to push your limits, it said.
- I'm doing so all the time. Hey!

Are you crazy?

I don't feel a bit like joining the other
pilgrims. Why do they do it anyway?

They'll finish the trip
just the way they started it.

If they make it to Santiago at all.

I'm sure God has a plan for you,
Hans Peter. Believe me.

It's a stupid plan.

Does God get angry?
- Sure!

I mean, no, God is good.

But if He does get angry,
He has a good reason for it.

So if people die, it's because
God was mad at them? - Nonsense!

If God calls someone to Him prematurely,
it's because He loves them especially.

I hope God can't stand you, Grandma!

Now, really!

JUNE 14TH - VIANA

Thank you.

What do you know?
You're like a shadow, aren't you?

The world is a village.

More like a semi-detached house.

So was it exhausting,
the arduous hike up here?

Buen camino.
- Look at all these people!

They march all day, looking for God,
enlightenment, sex or the nearest inn.

They're exhausted, their feet hurt,
they're hungry, need the bathroom,

and still they line up here for a stamp!

So, just like you!

I just need the stamp for my job.
To prove I was here.

I'm doing a series. My boss wants a story
about the Way of St. James every day.

"Bristol Today"!

Couldn't it be that
your boss just wanted to get rid of you?

Stella! Hey, Stella!

Hi, Lena.

Hello, Hans. How are you?
- Good.

You know each other?
- You're here already?

I'm impressed. I thought...
- Our artist cheated.

He took the bus. Now he's picking up
his well-earned stamp. How about that?

You're right. I didn't earn this one.

As long as you're here...
- A real pilgrim goes on foot.

A real pilgrim needs no stamp.
- See? Just what I said.

Buen camino, you two.

And how did you get here so quickly?

With a taxi.

I'd like nothing more than to ask
the two women to hike with me.

Is this long period
of solitude really good for me?

This luxurious chance to get to grips

with nothing but myself
is starting to bear fruit.

Where are you all from?

China? Korea! Same difference.

Even though some of these people
appear really outlandish to me.

Realization of the day:
open your heart and hug the day.

This Way is said to be
a road to enlightenment.

But there's no guarantee of enlightenment.

I imagine enlightenment

like a gate you have to stride through.
You're not allowed be afraid of it.

But you mustn't want it too much either.

Maybe the more indifferent you are
as you step through, the easier it is.

No hopes,

no fears,

no expectations.
Is that the key to happiness?

JUNE 18TH - BELORADO

JUNE 19TH - SAN JUAN DE ORTEGA

JUNE 20TH

Basically, I start my pilgrimage
all over again every day.

I don't feel like I'm making one journey,

but a thousand small ones.

Bon camino.

I have to motivate
myself anew every day.

Sometimes it's easy.

Sometimes it's not.

Some encounters are helpful.

Did you see any miracles on the way?

No. - If I need anything,
I'll order it from the universe.

Make fun of me all you want. It works.
- You're crazy.

Some aren't.

I don't speak Portuguese.

Careful what you order!

You can't leave me alone now!

The road is rough,
and God knows this experience

is no walk in the park. Even if
I do make it, will it change my life?

I'm still expecting too much.

On this Way there's only one thing
I keep coming up against: me!

Hello!

I haven't seen anyone for hours!
- Yes, it's great, isn't it?

Yes, it's great.

These butterflies, it's crazy.
Never seen anything like it.

So many!

It's like a miracle.
- You do know the reason, right?

No.
- Well...

they spray pesticides all over this area,
except on the Way of St. James.

The pilgrims have to relieve themselves,
and that attracts the butterflies.

Spare me the details!

Listen, don't take this personally,
but I'd like to go on alone.

Oh, sure. Of course.

Sorry. Please go on ahead.

It may not feel like it now,
but this is important.

If you want to reach the goal, you have
to walk the Way alone. Do you understand?

Take care of yourself.

Those who want to be enlightened must
first experience the opposite, I suppose.

Darkness.

One way or another, we all without fail
have to wander through our nights.

It's best to do it of our own accord.

Today I have to go to an inn.

I'm longing for a conversation.
Being alone's driving me round the bend.

My diary is no longer enough.

It doesn't talk to me.

Hey, can I buy you a beer?

No!

Hello again!

So, how's the research?

Listen, Hans.
- Hans Peter. - Listen, Hans Peter.

I've had my fill of pick-up lines.
- Pick-up lines? Pick-up lines?

You think I'm chatting you up?

Want to come and wash with me?

No? Very well.

Then I'll go and wash by myself.

I do everything else on my own.

Either I quit like a grouch now,

convinced that everything I do here
is stupid, or l stick it out and believe

in a small miracle.

Hey, watch it!
- Sorry.

Man!

Unbelievable!

Why do the other pilgrims
stay in these sleazy joints?

How guilty must you feel
to do that to yourself?

If you could afford
a nice guesthouse instead?

Hello!

Shit.

Realization of the day:
rushing ahead can hold you back.

That's Klaus.

Klaus is the most
intelligent goldfish in the world.

And in honor
of Grandma's birthday I will tell it

to jump through this hoop
and onto this plate.

Jump, Klaus!

Come on, move it!

He won't jump
because I'm telling him to.

That's how intelligent he is.

I didn't get that.

Hans Peter wasn't trying to be funny.

It was a magic trick, right, Hans Peter?

You're simply the wrong audience.

Realization of the day: on the path
of enlightenment I'm still in the dark.

JUNE 29TH - HORNILLOS DEL CAMINO

"The heat and dust get to me before
I even start my quota for the day."

Why is everyone so certain
that this is the right way?

I want to have some breakfast!

Why does no one have doubts but me?

I'm building a house of cards out of
realizations. It's getting ever harder

to stop it crashing down
with every new realization.

Where are you going?

Santiago.

But Santiago's over there.

So where are you going?

Santiago.

I'll come with you then.
- Yeah.

No bother.

What brings you here?
- Holiday.

Without any backpack or suitcase?

Yes, I've got plenty of money. If I need
anything on the road, I'll just buy it.

Okay.
- Hang on. You're breathing heavily.

You have to breathe very, very deeply.

Against my hand.
Yes, that's it. Into your back.

Into your back.
Breathe into your back!

Breathe!

Breathe deeply!

Yes, just like your cat.

How did you know I have a cat?

"Exhausted, hungry, dusty and grouchy

I walk from village to village.

Is suffering the key to happiness?"

"Who am I writing all this down for? Me?

Whatever!"

"It's never the others who get the better
of you but your own damned mindset."

Those two guys liked me, so you're
jealous. You want to take center stage.

Not at all!
- It's getting on my nerves.

I never said anything.
I thought things might change.

If I'd known, I'd never have...

I really want to know what
this Way is doing to me, or not doing.

One thing's for certain.

If I don't meet a kindred spirit soon,
I'll start getting weird.

Hello.

Who's there?
- Stella, is that you?

Hans?
- Yes, it's me!

Did I wake you up?
- No.

I just didn't get much sleep.
- I see.

Shall we go a few kilometers together?
- No, I'm not ready yet.

I see. Okay, maybe I'll see you tonight.
- Yes. Maybe.

Stella?
- What is it?

Do you want my sleeping mat?
- What?

My sleeping mat. Do you want it?

They tell me it's
the Rolls-Royce of sleeping mats.

I'm sure you can make better use of it.

I'm just dragging it around
for decoration. - Are you joking?

Only for money.

Maybe you'll sleep a little better.
Take care!

Shall we go?
- No.

Do you want my phone number?

No.

We're halfway already!

I can't believe it.
We're exactly halfway.

I know.

This is how far I got last time too.

You've been here before?
- Lots of times.

Most recently with my daughter.

Your idea or hers?

Hers.

Nothing could change her mind.
- So why did you bail out?

We didn't make it.

Maybe this time I will.

I bet my stick on it.

Hello! I'm not doing anything.
Look, here are my hands.

I've had enough of this!

Where are you going?
- Away from here! - You're staying here!

Then let me touch you.

Stay on your side. You don't have to...

Look, they've eaten everything.
- Yes, we're too late.

Look who's sitting there!

It's him. 100 per cent!
- Who?

You're right!
- Yes.

Can I have your autograph?

Sorry, I only do autographs
on naked skin.

You're wicked!

No, no, wait! It was a joke.

Put your arm around him. Kiss.

Now, there!

I've got it.
- Wait till Suse sees this. Look.

People, people, this is not
the way to enlightenment.

Being silent is easy.

But silencing my thoughts

is almost impossible. Continuous
unconnected rubbish in my head.

"Where's my front door key?"

"Buy cigarettes."

"Wasted feet."

"Craving for potato salad."

There's nothing up there.

Nothing.

If I've ever had a strong faith,

I want it back.

Realization of the day:

My friend! How are you?

Is there no one here?
Someone shot at me!

I've had it. I give up.
- You! You...

will not give up. No.

Germans never give up.

They finish what they've started.

To the end.

I admire you, Germans. I do.

The best books in the world
were written by you.

"The Tin Drum" by Günter Grass.

"Momo"

by Michael Ende.

And of course...

"Mein Kampf" by Adolf Hitler.

Sorry? "Mein Kampf"? Are you mad?

Maybe.

Still, I...

admire you, Germans.
- That's just...

I'm not even going to explain it.
Nobody touches that filth!

Are you sure?

One more word like that
and I will hit you!

What's going on?

Order me a taxi, now.

Problems with the room?
- Well he's totally crazy.

And...

don't forget to breathe!

He's completely mad.

JULY 1ST - LEON

Hello?
- Hello, Dörte. It's me, HP.

I'm coming home.
- What's happened? - Nothing.

I'm all by myself here, that's all.
- Can't you hook up with someone?

Well, there's
the nymphomaniac from Brazil,

the bickering couple from Kaltenkirchen,

and the devout
compulsive shopper from Bavaria.

Everyone I'd like to hook up with
has left or wants nothing to do with me.

Let me guess, all women, right?

They think I'm chatting them up.

Laugh all you want. I won't find what
I'm looking for here. Certainly not God.

HP?

You giving up now...
- Well...

is not like you at all.

I'll call you back later. As soon
as I know when my plane leaves, okay?

Dear Universe...

God, I'm losing it.

Hans Peter?

Good to see you.

At least I can
say goodbye to you in person now.

But how did you know I...

My last stamp. I have to quit.

I'm sorry.
- Line's gone on.

Want to grab a bite?

Okay.

I won't be needing this anymore.

Here.

I don't believe it!

Stella, Lena!

Realization of the day:

the universe
always has a surprise in store.

Let me introduce...
- Siri!

I heard. I'm so sorry.

Can I introduce anyone?
- Hi, Lena.

Hi, Siri.
- No? Fine.

How's the sleeping mat?

Great.
It just took me a while to figure out

how to get the air out again.

It can be inflated?

They say people make pilgrimages
to wash away their sins.

But I have the feeling
many are here to commit sins.

They talk about enlightenment, how great
the Way is and what it does to them,

but, honestly, I don't
understand most people I meet here.

I don't understand
most people I meet anywhere.

Don't any of you have doubts about
what you're doing here? - No! - No.

And do you speak to God on your travels?

Every day.

I was this close to giving up today.

Why?

I can't do it alone.
- Don't beat yourself up about it.

Only 15 per cent
of all pilgrims get to the end.

You can do it!

You have to do it for me.

I know you said, to reach the goal
we have to walk the Way alone.

But Santiago is 300 km away.
- You thought I meant Santiago?

Didn't you?

Please don't say the journey is the goal.
- On the Camino we each have our own goal.

I don't think you can know when
you will reach it. But you mustn't quit.

Or it'll all have been for nothing.

Everything!
- How about you?

What is your goal?

For today? My tent.

Stella!
- Oh, Stella, stay for a bit.

All the best.
- I hope you reach your goal.

We'll meet again.

Good night.

Did you know she's been on
the Way of St. James before? - Yes.

She came here every year for a while
until five years ago,

when she came with her daughter.

I didn't even know she has a daughter.
- She doesn't like to talk about it.

All I know is that they gave up halfway.

Her daughter had cancer.

She collapsed on the way

and died two weeks later.

I have to go to bed. Good night.

Good night.
- Good night.

What will you do now?

Will you let it get the better of you?

LATENT TALENT

The show is my life

It's always been that way
The show is my life

And that will never change

When later tonight
I'm lying alone in bed

I will see your face

Your eyes, your smile

Then I'll know

The show is my life

It's always been that way

The show is my life

And that will never change

When I look into your eyes
I see you have a dream

Hold on to it

One day your dream...

My pooth!

My pooth's fallen out! Where's my pooth?

My pooth! My pooth's gone!

Achim, help me, my pooth!

Do you really think it's worth it?

There was a call for you, by the way.
Something about Passau.

Passau? The competition?

One of them can't go.

He's got the measles.
Or was it his appendix?

Blow me down!

Can you believe it?

I can't remember what...
- Grandma, what did they say?

They want you to take his place.

Passau? That's great!

What if I fail?

Listen to me.

In that case you will still not let it
get the better of you, Hans Peter.

JULY 2ND
THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE BEYOND LEON

When I'm walking

do my feet press against the road,
or the road against my feet?

Without my thoughts
I am without expression,

and nothing impresses me.

A merciful condition.

No fun but also no suffering.

Most astonishing of all, not one
of all the people I've met on my travels

has any doubt whatsoever
about the power of the Way.

They all firmly believe in the presence

of the one great being
and His wondrous workings

in the world.

To encounter God

you have to voice an invitation first,
for He will not come uninvited.

We have the choice. Every one of us

can forge their very own relationship
with Him, but in order to do so

you must truly love.

"Me and you."

Yesterday I had
my very own encounter with God.

"Yo y tu."

"Me and you."

I've encountered Him.

And everything else
is between Him and me.

Lena, where were you?
We had a date. Hi.

Just don't get any ideas!
- Wouldn't dream of it.

JULY 8TH
O CEBREIO 220 KM TO GO

Right...

Right?

Coffee with milk, please.

You'd better not be writing about me!

I'd love one too.

Another one, please.

An eco-friendly divorce.

If you want to get rid of your girlfriend
for good, take her along on the Way.

You'll be divorced in no time.

I don't have a girlfriend.

I'm gay.

I can manage on my own.

I get it now.

In fact, I could go home now.

But why should I?

Does Hans seem different to you too?

Indeed.

Hans is gay, by the way.
- You don't say.

What?

You knew?

Well it wasn't a state secret, was it?
- Why am I always last to hear things?

Weird, isn't it? For a journalist!

I can't take this any longer.
I have to know.

Who keeps calling you, while you refuse
to talk to him at any price? The taxman?

My husband.

Dear Universe, could you please...

Incredible!

Have you seen Stella this morning?

No, she said she wanted
to get an early start.

HP Kerkeling!
- I don't believe it!

Hello, can we take a picture with you?

Sorry.

God, how exciting!

Fine. Let's go.
- Many thanks! - An autograph, please!

On the Way of St. James of all places!
That's just crazy. Oh, he's gone!

What kind of artist are you anyway?

Entertainer?

I meant professionally.

Tell me! Hans!

How famous are you really?
- Just stop it.

Got nothing else to worry about?
Look ahead!

Hey, do you hear that?

Hello?

Stella! God, I'm coming!

No, leave me be!

Are you hurt?

I'm such an idiot!

What's happened?
-l thought

I could make her...

I just wanted her to...

I thought, if I came back here

and walked this cursed Way again,
I could maybe understand what she wanted,

and things might become...

easier, but things keep...
they just keep getting worse.

In the end her pains were unbearable,
and I'm crying over a damned bruise!

A damned cut.

Do I look awful?

You look great.

If I didn't know you'd fallen...

We're taking you to see a doctor.

Right.
You're staying with us for the night.

No, I...
- No arguing!

I've rented a whole house.
We each have our own room.

So Hans won't have to hear me snoring!
- I can't accept that. - Yes, you can!

Right, off we go.

Come on!

JULY 18TH - CASTANEDA

Looks like a palace in here!

L'['S huge!

Sorry I shouted at you earlier.

So back home you go to church?

No. Never.
- Nor do I.

Why not?

Let's not kid ourselves, the ground crew

leave much to be desired.

You can say that again.

To me God is like a great film,

and the church like the village cinema
that shows it. The screen is crooked,

the wooden seats creak,

the speakers crackle,

people behind you prattle,
people in front of you block your view,

and they keep bugging you
with announcements. "Will the driver

of the vehicle with
the license plate number RS-SR-456

please move it straight away."

The film's running...

but the screening is crap.

And that's why most people don't realize

how great the film really is.

If not here on this Way...

If not here,
then where would you encounter Him?

That's what Michelle believed too.
She was obsessed with the idea

of coming here since she was ten.

I tried to explain to her
that she was too small to walk 800 km,

but she wouldn't accept it.

When she was 11 she set out on foot

with a suitcase
straight from our doorstep.

I was so scared.
I thought I'd never see her again.

Just before the highway
we managed to pick her up.

She was bent on meeting God.

That's what she said.

Her pig-headedness
often drove me to despair.

But my husband always said,
"You got just the daughter you deserve."

"lmagine that, my husband
gave me 20 red roses today.

Now I'm going to have to
spread my legs again for a fortnight."

"Why? Don't you have a vase?"

A chicken orders a tequila...
- What?

A chicken orders a tequila...
That one's too silly.

I give up. I'm going home.
- What?

I'm coming with you.
- In earnest?

A drunk woman introduces her husband:
"These two are Ernest." - Hang on.

Have you two gone mad? No way!

Why not? - You can't give up
with the goal in sight.

I hate my job anyway.

I will stay here,
buy this house and open an inn.

You've reached your goal, Hans.

You know why you came here
and what makes you happy, but me,

I will never reach my goal.

What is your goal?

I want my daughter back.

Stella!

Hiking isn't my thing.

I mean, it was great
and I don't regret a single kilometer,

but if I hadn't met you two,
I wouldn't be here today.

I'd have gone home ages ago.

You said to me,

"You mustn't quit
or everything will have been in vain."

It has all been in vain anyway.

Her father wanted her to stay in hospital

and get further treatment.
But she'd had enough.

All she wanted was to come here.

So I came with her.

My husband was furious
when he found out we'd gone.

I wish I'd listened to him.

Maybe we could've
had some more time with her.

I thought maybe...

If I felt now how I will feel tomorrow,

I'd never have eaten and drunk this much
with you, and that would've been a shame.

Maybe you don't know what your goal is.

Maybe your goal is
to find out what your goal should be.

Excuse me, the house is moving.

Clever girl, our Lena.

If she's that clever, why is she trying
to light my joint butt with a corkscrew?

I think your husband was right.

If your daughter was even half
as headstrong and wonderful as you are,

she was just
the daughter you deserved.

What do you think? If she were here now,

would she let you go home?

I don't believe in God.

Still don't.

I don't believe in coincidences.
- I believe in friendship.

Hello?

Yes, this is Stella's phone.

Santiago.

Realization of the day:

it's not a question of location
where you feel at home.

Stella...

come with us.

I can't.

Why not?

I lost my stick yesterday.

You can have mine.

So, are we ready?

A Photograph.

Come on.

Really great.

Super
- We want you to appear on Radio Bremen.

A TV show for young talent.

Do you know Madonna?
- No.

Never mind. Nena will be there too.
- Nena?

Off we go.

Break a leg, my boy!
Hans Peter, you can do it.

Make something of it.

JULY 19TH - RUA, PENULTIMATE DAY

You're on next,

Hans Peter, listen, isn't there
something we can do about your name?

My friends sometimes call me HP.

HP? Not very sexy either.
But for now...

Still better than Hans Peter, right?

HP.

Much better!

Hans Peter?

My husband?

The Camino robs you
of all of your strength...

and gives you three times as much back.

And to all those who cannot walk
the Camino, rest assured,

this Way is only one
of an endless number of possibilities.

It isn't a single way
but a thousand ways.

And it asks only one question
of everyone: "Who are you?"

Three, two, one...

I am HP Kerkeling.

Hans Peter Kerkeling.

Who's HP?

That's my grandson. My boy.

Our boy!

Sooner or later this Way
will shake everyone to the core.

You have to walk it alone,
or it will not reveal its secret.

Well done. Welcome to Santiago.
- Thank you.

Something inside me struck a giant gong.

And the sound will reverberate.

I know it will slowly fade,

but if I prick up my ears, I'll be able
to sense its echo for a long time.

And when I recall my own Way

I realize one thing in particular:
I encountered God every day.