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Previously on Young Sheldon...
All right, let me start
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00:00:03,710 --> 00:00:05,250
by saying that I owe you
an apology.
3
00:00:05,250 --> 00:00:08,460
I want you to know
that I'm trying to change.
4
00:00:08,460 --> 00:00:09,710
What do you want from me?
5
00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:11,300
One more chance.
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00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:13,300
Thanks again for giving me
another shot.
7
00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:16,350
Well, I'm trying to get
better at forgiving people.
8
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,010
Well, I'm glad to hear
you say that,
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00:00:18,010 --> 00:00:20,140
'cause I'm the one
who egged your store last night.
10
00:00:20,140 --> 00:00:22,810
Hmm, forgiving people sucks.
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00:00:22,810 --> 00:00:24,310
Should we say grace?
12
00:00:24,310 --> 00:00:25,310
Heck yeah!
13
00:00:25,310 --> 00:00:27,820
Oh, cool, let's say grace.
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00:00:27,820 --> 00:00:28,980
GEORGE JR.:
Well?
15
00:00:28,980 --> 00:00:30,400
It's very...
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00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:31,820
colorful.
17
00:00:31,820 --> 00:00:33,860
Check out the best part.
18
00:00:37,030 --> 00:00:39,200
Want to try it out?
19
00:00:40,330 --> 00:00:42,330
ADULT SHELDON:
As long as I can remember,
20
00:00:42,330 --> 00:00:45,210
unlocking the mechanisms that
govern the physical universe
21
00:00:45,210 --> 00:00:47,540
was my greatest passion.
22
00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:50,340
Whatcha workin' on?
Dungeons & Dragons.
23
00:00:50,340 --> 00:00:51,840
ADULT SHELDON:
Hey, even Hawking took
24
00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:53,670
a roll through the park
once in a while.
25
00:00:53,670 --> 00:00:56,340
I'm working on a new campaign
to play with Tam and Billy.
26
00:00:56,340 --> 00:00:58,100
You know how I feel
about that game.
27
00:00:58,100 --> 00:01:00,390
I'm aware, which is why
the most wicked thing
28
00:01:00,390 --> 00:01:01,600
in it is my sense of humor.
29
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:02,850
(doorbell rings)
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00:01:02,850 --> 00:01:05,270
(sighs)
I still don't like it.
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00:01:05,270 --> 00:01:08,690
But you are playing with other
kids, so I'll take it as a win.
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00:01:08,690 --> 00:01:11,030
ADULT SHELDON: Not just playing
with other kids,
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00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:13,240
controlling every aspect
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00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:16,950
of their destiny as their
Dungeon Master overlord.
35
00:01:16,950 --> 00:01:19,780
I didn't believe in God but
I sure loved acting like one.
36
00:01:20,740 --> 00:01:22,370
Hey, Mary.
37
00:01:22,370 --> 00:01:24,620
Wayne, come on in.
Thank you.
38
00:01:24,620 --> 00:01:26,710
George just ran
to pick up some beers.
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00:01:26,710 --> 00:01:28,380
It's funny when he runs,
ain't it?
40
00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:29,920
Oh, hey,
Darlene wanted
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00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:32,300
to know if you were gonna pack
anything nice to wear.
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00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:33,300
For what?
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00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:34,970
The coaches conference.
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00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:36,680
I wasn't going to that.
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00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:37,890
Darlene's going?
46
00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:39,470
A free weekend in San Antonio?
47
00:01:39,470 --> 00:01:41,060
(chuckles)
Hotel on the river?
48
00:01:41,060 --> 00:01:42,220
Of course she's going.
49
00:01:42,220 --> 00:01:43,560
Oh.
50
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:44,640
Did George not invite you?
51
00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:46,940
No, he didn't.
52
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,810
Honestly,
what is wrong with that man?
53
00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:51,400
Game time!
54
00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:55,740
What?
55
00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:58,070
Mom's just mad I'm playing
Dungeons & Dragons.
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00:01:58,070 --> 00:01:59,620
Oh, good.
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00:02:00,780 --> 00:02:03,410
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
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00:02:03,410 --> 00:02:06,910
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
59
00:02:06,910 --> 00:02:09,630
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
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00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:12,340
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:15,970
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
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00:02:20,090 --> 00:02:22,640
GEORGE SR.: I didn't know
he was bringing his wife.
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00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:25,770
And of course it didn't even
occur to you to ask me?
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00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:27,940
Well, no, but
isn't that better
65
00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:30,150
than thinking about it
and then not doing it?
66
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,440
They both make you a jerk.
67
00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,440
Since when are you interested
68
00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:34,940
in a coaches conference?
69
00:02:34,940 --> 00:02:37,150
I am interested in a weekend
70
00:02:37,150 --> 00:02:39,860
at a nice hotel by a river.
71
00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:42,120
Hotel is pretty nice.
72
00:02:44,620 --> 00:02:45,950
What's up?
73
00:02:45,950 --> 00:02:47,540
Watching the game with your dad.
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00:02:47,540 --> 00:02:48,540
Where is he?
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00:02:48,540 --> 00:02:50,790
Getting yelled at by your mom.
76
00:02:50,790 --> 00:02:52,540
Cool.
77
00:02:54,380 --> 00:02:57,460
Any chance you might want
to watch the kids this weekend?
78
00:02:57,460 --> 00:02:58,840
Sure, no problem.
Good.
79
00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:01,220
I thought you and Dale
might have plans.
80
00:03:01,220 --> 00:03:03,470
We might hang out, but...
81
00:03:03,470 --> 00:03:05,140
it's fine.
82
00:03:05,140 --> 00:03:06,520
Something going on?
83
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,390
Mm-mm.
84
00:03:08,390 --> 00:03:10,520
Sounds like something.
85
00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:12,940
Well...
86
00:03:12,940 --> 00:03:16,900
he's trying to be a
better person, and...
87
00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:18,490
it's weird.
88
00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:19,490
Weird how?
89
00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:21,410
Just doesn't seem natural.
90
00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:23,200
I don't follow.
91
00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:26,240
Like when you see a dancing bear
at the circus,
92
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:30,500
and you know it just wants
to rip some clown's head off.
93
00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:32,920
That's graphic.
94
00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:34,500
Where are y'all going?
95
00:03:34,500 --> 00:03:37,090
George has a coaches conference
in San Antonio.
96
00:03:37,090 --> 00:03:39,720
Oh, and you weaseled your
way in? Good for you.
97
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:40,720
I didn't weasel.
98
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,340
So it was his idea?
99
00:03:42,340 --> 00:03:43,800
Not exactly.
100
00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:47,350
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have a weasel.
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00:03:47,350 --> 00:03:48,810
(laughs)
102
00:03:48,810 --> 00:03:51,020
Congratulations.
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00:03:51,020 --> 00:03:54,060
(rock music playing faintly)
104
00:03:58,730 --> 00:03:59,940
Getting ready for your trip?
105
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,280
Yep.
106
00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:02,910
Dale told me
you're taking his camper.
107
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,200
Yeah. We're gonna head down
with Wayne and his wife.
108
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:06,580
Cool.
109
00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:09,540
Just out of curiosity,
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00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:11,540
when exactly
are you and Mom leaving,
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00:04:11,540 --> 00:04:13,710
and when exactly
are y'all coming back?
112
00:04:13,710 --> 00:04:15,580
You're not bringing
your girlfriend here.
113
00:04:15,580 --> 00:04:18,550
Excuse me for taking an interest
in your life.
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00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:20,920
Besides, your grandma'll be here
the whole time.
115
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,550
Never mind.
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00:04:23,550 --> 00:04:25,220
Wait.
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00:04:25,220 --> 00:04:27,050
So her house'll be empty?
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00:04:27,050 --> 00:04:28,600
Look, I used to be your age,
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00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:31,390
but can you try thinking
with your brain for once?
120
00:04:31,390 --> 00:04:32,690
If you used to be my age,
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00:04:32,690 --> 00:04:34,310
I think you know
the answer to that.
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00:04:36,940 --> 00:04:39,400
MARY:
All right, baby,
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00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:41,400
we're leaving here
in a few minutes,
124
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:44,910
but we'll be back on Sunday
and your meemaw'll be here.
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00:04:46,740 --> 00:04:48,410
Sheldon?
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00:04:48,410 --> 00:04:49,740
What?
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00:04:49,740 --> 00:04:51,160
We're leaving.
128
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,620
Where are you going?
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00:04:52,620 --> 00:04:54,920
To San Antonio.
130
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,960
When are you leaving?
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00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,090
In a few minutes.
132
00:04:58,090 --> 00:04:59,460
When will you get back?
133
00:04:59,460 --> 00:05:01,670
Sunday.
But who's going to watch us?
134
00:05:01,670 --> 00:05:03,420
Meemaw.
135
00:05:03,420 --> 00:05:04,630
Okay. Bye.
136
00:05:04,630 --> 00:05:06,970
Can you at least
give me a hug?
137
00:05:08,470 --> 00:05:10,350
I can.
138
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,600
Hey. Just finishing up.
139
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:15,640
(closes cash
register)
140
00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:16,770
See you again soon.
141
00:05:17,940 --> 00:05:19,650
How you doing?
142
00:05:19,650 --> 00:05:22,150
All right, I guess.
143
00:05:22,150 --> 00:05:23,820
Uh, Dale here?
144
00:05:23,820 --> 00:05:26,200
He went to go hang out
with my meemaw, who, by the way,
145
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:28,370
is at my house all weekend,
so that's a no-go.
146
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:29,620
Okay.
147
00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:30,990
What do you want to do later?
148
00:05:30,990 --> 00:05:33,200
Movies? Putt-putt?
149
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,620
I was thinking
maybe we could go get a test.
150
00:05:35,620 --> 00:05:37,460
What kind of test?
151
00:05:37,460 --> 00:05:40,040
The... pregnancy kind.
152
00:05:41,460 --> 00:05:43,210
(electronic tones sound)
We're closed.
153
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:44,550
But the sign says...
154
00:05:44,550 --> 00:05:46,840
We're closed!
(electronic tones sound)
155
00:05:53,030 --> 00:05:55,220
This can't be happening.
How sure are you?
156
00:05:55,220 --> 00:05:56,980
I'm not sure. That's why
I want to get the test.
157
00:05:56,980 --> 00:05:58,480
Well, you don't
look pregnant.
158
00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:00,310
That's not how it
works, Georgie.
159
00:06:00,310 --> 00:06:02,820
I know.
I'm just freaking out right now.
160
00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:05,650
Let's just go to
the drugstore.
Right.
161
00:06:05,650 --> 00:06:07,240
I feel like I'm gonna throw up.
162
00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:08,950
Please don't say that.
163
00:06:08,950 --> 00:06:10,820
So you've stayed
at this hotel before?
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00:06:10,820 --> 00:06:12,580
Oh, yeah. It's nice.
165
00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:15,330
They got an indoor pool
and a killer breakfast buffet.
166
00:06:15,330 --> 00:06:17,830
There's even a real nice gym
we'll walk right past
167
00:06:17,830 --> 00:06:19,830
on the way
to the breakfast buffet.
168
00:06:19,830 --> 00:06:21,330
Why didn't you tell me
there was a pool?
169
00:06:21,330 --> 00:06:23,040
I would've brought
my bathing suit.
170
00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:25,840
Hotels have pools-- didn't think
I needed to mention it.
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00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:27,920
Well, it would have been nice
if you did.
172
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:29,590
They also have beds
in the rooms.
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00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:31,050
Did you remember your pajamas?
174
00:06:31,050 --> 00:06:32,550
Okay, you don't have to act
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00:06:32,550 --> 00:06:34,470
like that.
Well, you don't
need to blame me
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00:06:34,470 --> 00:06:35,810
'cause you forgot
your bathing suit.
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00:06:35,810 --> 00:06:37,730
Well, I guess
we're not going in the pool.
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00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:40,440
Maybe you're not.
179
00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:42,190
I packed my suit.
180
00:06:42,190 --> 00:06:44,770
Are you gonna behave like this
all weekend?
181
00:06:44,770 --> 00:06:46,530
What?
Responsible and fun-loving?
182
00:06:46,530 --> 00:06:47,860
Probably.
183
00:06:47,860 --> 00:06:49,900
You are such a...
184
00:06:49,900 --> 00:06:51,910
monkey butt.
185
00:06:51,910 --> 00:06:54,370
(laughs):
Come on.
186
00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:56,700
There's got to be more
insulting name you can call me.
187
00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:58,960
I am sure there is,
but they're about to get in
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00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,710
and they do not need
to hear us arguing.
189
00:07:00,710 --> 00:07:04,460
Whoo-wee!
Ha-ha! Hey, Mary.
190
00:07:04,460 --> 00:07:06,210
Darlene,
good to see you.
Oh, hey.
191
00:07:06,210 --> 00:07:07,710
George, how's it going?
192
00:07:07,710 --> 00:07:10,130
Good, good.
We were definitely not arguing
193
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,550
ten seconds ago.
194
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,470
I figured we'd order pizza.
195
00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:18,470
Okay.
196
00:07:18,470 --> 00:07:20,560
What do you want on it?
197
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:22,810
Everything
except onions,
198
00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:25,310
green peppers,
mushrooms,
199
00:07:25,310 --> 00:07:27,570
spinach...
No vegetables. Got it.
200
00:07:27,570 --> 00:07:29,440
How about
a little salad, too?
201
00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:30,780
If you like wasting money.
202
00:07:30,780 --> 00:07:32,910
Spoken like a true Texan.
203
00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:34,780
So what's Sheldon like?
204
00:07:34,780 --> 00:07:36,280
A pain in the ass.
205
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:39,790
No, he means, what does
Sheldon like on his pizza?
206
00:07:39,790 --> 00:07:41,580
Oh.
207
00:07:41,580 --> 00:07:43,920
Sheldon! What do you
want on your pizza!?
208
00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:45,500
Still glad you came?
209
00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:46,840
Actually, I am.
210
00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:49,010
I don't want any pizza.
211
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:50,920
See? Pain in the ass.
212
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:53,010
Well, we can get something else.
213
00:07:53,010 --> 00:07:54,930
I don't want anything.
I'm not hungry.
214
00:07:54,930 --> 00:07:56,140
Well, what's the matter?
215
00:07:56,140 --> 00:07:57,640
My friends were
supposed to play
216
00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:59,180
Dungeons & Dragons
with me,
217
00:07:59,180 --> 00:08:00,600
but they cancelled.
218
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:02,270
Aw. Sorry.
219
00:08:02,270 --> 00:08:04,020
We can play it
with you.
220
00:08:04,020 --> 00:08:05,270
Really?
221
00:08:05,270 --> 00:08:07,480
Dale, that's nice, but...
222
00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:09,190
I don't think you'll like it.
223
00:08:09,190 --> 00:08:10,900
Afraid I might beat you?
224
00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:12,950
Actually, there's no one winner.
It's a cooperative game
225
00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:15,740
where you use your imagination
to explore a fantasy world
226
00:08:15,740 --> 00:08:18,200
with the help of the Dungeon
Master's preplanned scenarios
227
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:21,660
and the rolling
of polyhedral dice.
228
00:08:21,660 --> 00:08:23,370
Still sound fun?
229
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:25,120
Yeah.
230
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:26,500
Sorta.
231
00:08:32,630 --> 00:08:34,630
I got it.
232
00:08:34,630 --> 00:08:35,970
Anybody see you?
No. And I didn't
233
00:08:35,970 --> 00:08:37,850
recognize the guy
behind the counter,
234
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:39,970
but I used an Italian accent
just in case.
235
00:08:39,970 --> 00:08:41,640
Please tell me you're joking.
236
00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,980
(Italian accent):
Oh, I'm-a no joking.
237
00:08:43,980 --> 00:08:45,480
Oh, God.
238
00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:47,480
Here. Do it.
I can't do it here.
239
00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:49,150
I have to pee on it.
240
00:08:49,150 --> 00:08:51,480
Okay, fine.
241
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:53,690
Although we've done
crazier stuff in this truck.
242
00:08:53,690 --> 00:08:55,110
(starts engine)
243
00:08:55,110 --> 00:08:56,820
Oh, by the way, I made
reservations tonight
244
00:08:56,820 --> 00:08:58,740
at that, uh, steakhouse
on the Riverwalk.
245
00:08:58,740 --> 00:09:00,490
Ooh, fancy.
Well, yeah.
246
00:09:00,490 --> 00:09:03,500
Nothing says fancy like
a two-pound slab of meat.
247
00:09:03,500 --> 00:09:05,000
Oh, shoot.
248
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,830
I didn't pack my dress shoes.
249
00:09:06,830 --> 00:09:08,540
See, George?
It might be helpful
250
00:09:08,540 --> 00:09:10,500
if you mentioned some
of these things ahead of time.
251
00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:13,380
Here we go.
Wayne's always doing
stuff like this.
252
00:09:13,380 --> 00:09:15,260
I'm glad to know
it's not just us.
253
00:09:15,260 --> 00:09:17,680
That's why I packed his shoes
last night.
254
00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:21,260
You did?
Baby, you're the best.
255
00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:23,350
Well, how can I be the best
when you are?
256
00:09:24,350 --> 00:09:26,060
It is just us.
257
00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:29,270
So, how does this work?
258
00:09:29,270 --> 00:09:31,190
You start by creating
your character.
259
00:09:31,190 --> 00:09:33,690
I want to be a Ninja Turtle
Princess of Power.
260
00:09:33,690 --> 00:09:36,030
Put me down
for that, too.
261
00:09:36,030 --> 00:09:38,860
You have to choose from
one of the character classes.
262
00:09:38,860 --> 00:09:40,700
There's thief, druid,
paladin, wizard...
263
00:09:40,700 --> 00:09:43,040
Ooh, wizard. I want that.
All right.
264
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:44,450
Then I'll use my magic
to turn me
265
00:09:44,450 --> 00:09:46,710
into a Ninja Turtle
Princess of Power.
266
00:09:46,710 --> 00:09:48,080
No.
267
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:50,080
W-Wh-- Wait a minute.
What's a paladin?
268
00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:53,130
A paladin is a holy knight who
crusades in the name of good.
269
00:09:53,130 --> 00:09:54,590
Oh, I like that.
270
00:09:54,590 --> 00:09:55,880
I want to be that.
271
00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:57,840
Really?
Yeah, I've been meaning
272
00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,300
to do more crusading
in the name of good.
273
00:10:01,260 --> 00:10:02,970
Okay.
274
00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:05,390
You say you got thief
on that list?
275
00:10:05,390 --> 00:10:06,770
I'll be a thief.
276
00:10:07,730 --> 00:10:09,230
That sounds like fun.
277
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:11,610
Okay, I think I got it.
278
00:10:11,610 --> 00:10:13,770
It takes ten minutes
for the results.
279
00:10:13,770 --> 00:10:15,070
You want me to go in with you?
280
00:10:15,070 --> 00:10:16,440
To watch me pee on a stick?
281
00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:17,610
I'm being supportive right now.
282
00:10:17,610 --> 00:10:18,780
You could try the same.
283
00:10:18,780 --> 00:10:20,820
(sighs)
284
00:10:22,740 --> 00:10:24,120
(clock ticking)
285
00:10:25,290 --> 00:10:27,620
(heart beating)
286
00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:35,090
I'm pregnant.
You sure I'm not too heavy?
287
00:10:35,090 --> 00:10:36,630
No, I got it.
288
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:39,970
I guess it's time
to do what people do
289
00:10:39,970 --> 00:10:41,090
on their wedding night.
290
00:10:41,090 --> 00:10:42,640
Georgie, we're gonna be parents.
291
00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:43,970
We don't do that anymore.
292
00:10:43,970 --> 00:10:45,770
Oh, right.
293
00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:48,930
Besides, my water just broke
all over your bed.
294
00:10:48,930 --> 00:10:50,440
Dadgum it.
295
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:52,100
(door opens)
296
00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:54,190
Stop having fun, and help me
take care of these babies.
297
00:10:54,190 --> 00:10:56,610
(babies bawling)
But I just got home
from my day job.
298
00:10:56,610 --> 00:10:58,780
And I only have ten minutes
till my night job.
299
00:10:58,780 --> 00:11:00,450
That's ten minutes
you could be helping.
300
00:11:00,450 --> 00:11:02,780
No go change whichever
this one is.
301
00:11:02,780 --> 00:11:04,410
(babies continue bawling)
302
00:11:04,410 --> 00:11:06,080
Georgie,
303
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:08,450
there's a band called
Guns N' Roses on the phone.
304
00:11:08,450 --> 00:11:10,210
Really?
305
00:11:10,210 --> 00:11:12,120
Yeah. The guitarist
hurt his hand,
306
00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:14,130
and they want you to fill in.
307
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:19,380
Tell them I can't.
I'm a dad now.
308
00:11:19,380 --> 00:11:20,970
Okay.
309
00:11:23,390 --> 00:11:26,100
(sighs)
This is a long ten minutes.
310
00:11:34,020 --> 00:11:37,650
Ooh, this camper is so cool.
311
00:11:37,650 --> 00:11:39,690
We borrowed it
from my mom's boyfriend.
312
00:11:39,690 --> 00:11:41,990
Yeah, you might not want
to poke around too much.
313
00:11:41,990 --> 00:11:44,860
You find my mother-in-law's bra,
I'm driving into a brick wall.
314
00:11:44,860 --> 00:11:45,910
(chuckles)
315
00:11:45,910 --> 00:11:47,030
Maybe we get one of these.
316
00:11:47,030 --> 00:11:48,410
Spend our summers
317
00:11:48,410 --> 00:11:49,990
driving around,
just the two of us.
318
00:11:49,990 --> 00:11:52,660
That sounds amazing.
Where would we go first?
319
00:11:52,660 --> 00:11:55,420
Does it even matter?
We don't even have
to take it out the driveway.
320
00:11:55,420 --> 00:11:57,710
(chuckles) You got that right.
321
00:11:57,710 --> 00:12:00,050
Can you guys not do that?
Do what?
322
00:12:00,050 --> 00:12:03,220
Be so happy.
You're married. Act like it.
323
00:12:04,180 --> 00:12:06,180
How do you put up with him?
324
00:12:06,180 --> 00:12:09,100
That's a good question.
What's your secret?
325
00:12:09,100 --> 00:12:11,600
BOTH (laughing):
Communication.
326
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:12,890
Oh, God.
327
00:12:18,020 --> 00:12:20,230
Well?
I'm not.
328
00:12:20,230 --> 00:12:22,860
Really?
We're good.
329
00:12:22,860 --> 00:12:24,990
Oh, thank God.
330
00:12:28,530 --> 00:12:30,870
What a relief.
I know.
331
00:12:30,870 --> 00:12:33,200
We better stop hugging,
332
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:34,620
or you're gonna need
another stick to pee on.
333
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:38,790
You enter a dark
and musty crypt.
334
00:12:38,790 --> 00:12:40,880
Torches along the walls
fill the room
335
00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:42,960
with a flickering light.
336
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:46,380
In the center of the room is
a mysterious glowing chest.
337
00:12:46,380 --> 00:12:47,890
What do you do?
338
00:12:47,890 --> 00:12:48,890
I open the chest.
339
00:12:48,890 --> 00:12:50,560
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
340
00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:52,930
It's a chest in the middle
of a crypt.
341
00:12:52,930 --> 00:12:54,770
That's a little suspicious,
don't you think?
342
00:12:54,770 --> 00:12:57,150
I don't know. I'm not even sure
what a crypt is.
343
00:12:57,150 --> 00:12:58,400
Aah!
344
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:00,270
It could be booby-trapped.
345
00:13:00,270 --> 00:13:02,900
SHELDON:
Thieves have the ability
to check for traps.
346
00:13:02,900 --> 00:13:04,820
Good for me, I can do that.
347
00:13:04,820 --> 00:13:08,820
Hold it. This chest
does not belong to us.
348
00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:10,950
So?
349
00:13:10,950 --> 00:13:12,910
I'm a paladin.
350
00:13:12,910 --> 00:13:15,910
It's not a very...
paladin-y thing to do.
351
00:13:15,910 --> 00:13:17,420
You didn't want to steal
the key,
352
00:13:17,420 --> 00:13:18,670
You didn't want to fight
the goblins.
353
00:13:18,670 --> 00:13:20,460
You wouldn't even kill
the spider.
354
00:13:20,460 --> 00:13:23,130
You put it in a cup
and took it outside.
355
00:13:23,130 --> 00:13:24,420
Well, that wasn't in the game.
356
00:13:24,420 --> 00:13:25,920
I know.
357
00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:28,010
It was in real life,
which is worse.
358
00:13:28,010 --> 00:13:31,760
Could me and your meemaw have
a little privacy, please?
359
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:33,930
We can leave, but we're
still gonna listen.
(Sheldon rolls dice)
360
00:13:33,930 --> 00:13:35,680
Also, you find no traps.
361
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:39,770
What is your problem?
362
00:13:39,770 --> 00:13:41,480
You act like
Mr. Goody Two-shoes,
363
00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:44,360
and you expect me
to believe that's real?
Yeah.
364
00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:45,610
Well, I don't.
365
00:13:45,610 --> 00:13:47,990
Sheldon said there were
no traps.
366
00:13:47,990 --> 00:13:49,490
(scoffs)
367
00:13:49,490 --> 00:13:52,160
Now, I know it's hokey,
but at least once a day,
368
00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:55,950
Darlene and I say one thing that
we appreciate about each other.
369
00:13:55,950 --> 00:13:58,040
Isn't that sweet?
370
00:13:58,040 --> 00:13:59,370
It was Wayne's idea.
371
00:13:59,370 --> 00:14:01,790
I appreciate you saying that.
372
00:14:01,790 --> 00:14:02,840
And I'm gonna vomit.
373
00:14:04,340 --> 00:14:06,010
It's fine.
374
00:14:06,010 --> 00:14:08,050
We-we know
we appreciate each other.
375
00:14:08,050 --> 00:14:10,680
Mary, is it fine?
376
00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:13,350
I guess it wouldn't hurt
377
00:14:13,350 --> 00:14:15,140
to hear it once in a while.
378
00:14:15,140 --> 00:14:17,140
George?
379
00:14:17,140 --> 00:14:19,640
What? Now?
380
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,150
You got something better to do?
381
00:14:21,150 --> 00:14:22,520
Come on, George.
382
00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:23,820
This is ridiculous.
383
00:14:23,820 --> 00:14:25,360
Just do it, you baby.
384
00:14:27,860 --> 00:14:32,030
Fine. Mary, I appreciate you.
385
00:14:32,030 --> 00:14:33,700
That's the best you can do?
386
00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:37,200
Baby, you have any single
friends for this poor woman?
387
00:14:40,290 --> 00:14:43,960
Mary, I appreciate how much
you take care of the house
388
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:47,260
and... all of us.
389
00:14:47,260 --> 00:14:50,340
I know it's not easy.
390
00:14:51,590 --> 00:14:54,100
Thank you.
That means a lot.
391
00:14:55,510 --> 00:14:57,430
I love it. Mary, you're up.
392
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:59,430
(chuckles)
393
00:14:59,430 --> 00:15:01,190
Well, George...
394
00:15:02,900 --> 00:15:07,150
I appreciate how hard you work.
395
00:15:07,150 --> 00:15:10,190
I know you make a lot
of sacrifices for us,
396
00:15:10,190 --> 00:15:13,450
and you don't get enough
credit for that.
397
00:15:17,490 --> 00:15:19,370
Thank you.
398
00:15:24,540 --> 00:15:26,460
Now, let's hear how much
you appreciate me
399
00:15:26,460 --> 00:15:28,090
for fixing your marriage.
400
00:15:28,090 --> 00:15:30,260
Shut up, Wayne.
(chuckling)
401
00:15:32,220 --> 00:15:34,220
I wonder who came up
with blue raspberry.
402
00:15:34,220 --> 00:15:35,890
Raspberries ain't blue.
403
00:15:35,890 --> 00:15:38,390
It should be blueberry.
You'd think.
404
00:15:38,390 --> 00:15:41,930
But blueberries ain't
blue either, they're purple.
405
00:15:41,930 --> 00:15:45,060
The whole blue food situation
in this country needs some work.
406
00:15:45,060 --> 00:15:46,810
(laughs)
407
00:15:46,810 --> 00:15:48,110
So, what do you want to do?
408
00:15:48,110 --> 00:15:50,490
Probably something
with our clothes on.
409
00:15:50,490 --> 00:15:52,400
No kidding. That was scary.
410
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,200
Terrifying.
I was afraid
411
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:55,410
I was gonna have
to marry you.
412
00:15:55,410 --> 00:15:56,570
Afraid?
413
00:15:56,570 --> 00:15:58,490
Shaking in my boots.
414
00:15:58,490 --> 00:16:00,580
And what, exactly,
would be so terrible
415
00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:01,790
about marrying me?
416
00:16:01,790 --> 00:16:04,960
I didn't say terrible.
417
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:07,000
You can be afraid of things
that are great.
418
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,590
Like what?
419
00:16:08,590 --> 00:16:11,010
Uh...
420
00:16:11,010 --> 00:16:13,260
Oh, roller coasters.
421
00:16:13,260 --> 00:16:15,090
You're an idiot.
422
00:16:15,090 --> 00:16:17,260
Roller coasters is
a good answer.
423
00:16:17,260 --> 00:16:19,930
I didn't say sharks, which is
what I thought of first.
424
00:16:19,930 --> 00:16:21,310
You're making it worse.
425
00:16:21,310 --> 00:16:23,350
How is I worse?
I didn't say it.
426
00:16:24,810 --> 00:16:26,940
Roller coasters is
a good answer.
427
00:16:26,940 --> 00:16:29,940
What happened to you?
You used to be fun.
428
00:16:29,940 --> 00:16:31,610
Come on, I'm playing
this stupid game
429
00:16:31,610 --> 00:16:33,360
with your grandkids.
That's rude.
430
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,700
Cut the crap.
We both know this isn't you.
431
00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:37,320
Oh, I can't win with you.
432
00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:39,370
What does that mean?
Forget it.
433
00:16:39,370 --> 00:16:41,450
No, I'm not gonna forget it.
Talk to me.
434
00:16:41,450 --> 00:16:43,660
I don't want to.
Missy, help me out here.
435
00:16:43,660 --> 00:16:45,580
Communication is important.
436
00:16:45,580 --> 00:16:47,330
I learned that on the
Fresh Prince show.
Oh...
437
00:16:50,420 --> 00:16:53,300
I asked you to marry me
and you turned me down flat.
438
00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:55,470
Are you still mad about that?
439
00:16:55,470 --> 00:16:57,470
Oh, hell yeah I'm still
mad about that.
440
00:16:57,470 --> 00:16:58,640
He proposed?
441
00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:00,470
He just said he did.
Pay attention.
442
00:17:00,470 --> 00:17:03,140
And you didn't even
take it seriously.
443
00:17:03,140 --> 00:17:05,980
I didn't take it seriously
because you were drunk.
444
00:17:05,980 --> 00:17:07,520
That's when I'm the most honest.
445
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:09,480
You can ask anybody at the bar.
446
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:11,320
Okay, fine. That still
doesn't change the fact
447
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:12,690
that I'm not interested
448
00:17:12,690 --> 00:17:14,530
in getting married again.
Why not?
449
00:17:14,530 --> 00:17:16,990
I don't have to explain
myself to you.
450
00:17:16,990 --> 00:17:19,410
I'd like to know.
And I'd like to play D&D.
451
00:17:19,410 --> 00:17:21,240
We've been through this.
452
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:23,750
I like my life
just the way it is,
453
00:17:23,750 --> 00:17:27,210
and if you can't work with that,
then, well...
454
00:17:27,210 --> 00:17:29,080
Well what?
455
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:31,420
Tough knuckles.
456
00:17:31,420 --> 00:17:33,000
Whoa.
457
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,130
Huh.
458
00:17:35,130 --> 00:17:36,550
Well, that's good, then.
459
00:17:36,550 --> 00:17:38,010
I don't have to pretend to be
460
00:17:38,010 --> 00:17:40,340
mister water-drinking
nice guy anymore.
461
00:17:40,340 --> 00:17:42,560
That's what I've been
trying to tell you.
462
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:46,140
Yeah, well.
463
00:17:46,140 --> 00:17:48,270
Will you all excuse me?
464
00:17:49,850 --> 00:17:51,190
Where you going?
465
00:17:51,190 --> 00:17:54,360
I'm gonna get myself a beer.
(chuckles)
466
00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:57,400
So you're standing in a crypt
looking at a locked chest.
467
00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:58,910
What do you do?
468
00:17:58,910 --> 00:18:00,450
DALE (calling out):
Pull a beer out of it.
469
00:18:06,370 --> 00:18:08,410
Get out of my way.
470
00:18:08,410 --> 00:18:11,920
I'm a thief,
and I'm opening this chest.
471
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:15,090
Have at it. I'm a paladin
with a buzz on.
472
00:18:18,670 --> 00:18:19,880
Success.
473
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:21,760
The chest opens,
revealing a scroll
474
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:23,970
with ancient writing
in a strange language
475
00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:26,310
you don't recognize.
What do you do?
476
00:18:26,310 --> 00:18:28,060
I say this is boring...
477
00:18:28,060 --> 00:18:31,230
and turn myself into a Ninja
Turtle Princess of Power.
478
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,070
♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles... ♪
479
00:18:35,070 --> 00:18:37,570
This game just got good.
480
00:18:37,570 --> 00:18:39,070
High five.
Yeah.
481
00:18:39,070 --> 00:18:41,070
♪ Heroes in a half-shell,
turtle power. ♪
33487
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