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Oh, did you pee the bed last night?
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No.
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Tuck it under.
14
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Tuck it under, Mommy.
15
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16
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What's it start with?
What's it start with?
17
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B!
19
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I need new Legos.
20
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21
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22
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- Night-night.
- Night-night.
23
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24
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"And make them into crowns
and play King of the Forest."
25
00:01:04,866 --> 00:01:06,487
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26
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No real surprises here.
27
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Junior account executive requires a lot
28
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of client management.
29
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Well, I'm a great communicator.
30
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How do you communicate?
31
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Well, you know, I've
been a tutor for teenagers
32
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for the past five years.
33
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- Ugh. Gross.
- Yeah.
34
00:01:32,817 --> 00:01:35,418
You know, I just feel like
if I can get a teenage boy
35
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to write an essay on slavery's
destruction of identity
36
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in Toni Morrison's Beloved,
37
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- I can pretty much get anyone...
- Stop!
38
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Love... I love Beloved!
39
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I love Beloved!
40
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So well written.
41
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And Toni Morrison, holy frijoles,
42
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he is my jam.
43
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Yeah, she's really good.
44
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That's exactly what I'm talking about.
45
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- Really?
- Yeah.
46
00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:05,153
- Wow. Cool.
- Great.
47
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Ooh.
48
00:02:08,066 --> 00:02:09,266
So you have a child, right?
49
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Mm-hmm.
50
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Hmm.
51
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Hmm.
52
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Really nice office.
53
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Oh, thank you.
54
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I'm gonna be honest with
you. You don't want this job.
55
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It's a lot of nights and weekends.
56
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- You'll probably never see your kid.
- Okay.
57
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Okay, great.
58
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I have another meeting, so
you're gonna have to get...
59
00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:40,817
- Oh.
- Oh, but thank you so much.
60
00:02:40,822 --> 00:02:42,022
Thank you.
61
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It was really nice to meet you.
62
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So sorry you didn't
get the ad job, honey.
63
00:02:56,119 --> 00:02:57,741
Have you thought about real estate?
64
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Oh, God, Jackie. You
want everyone to be you.
65
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I wish I was her.
66
00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:03,427
I do. I wish I was you.
67
00:03:03,527 --> 00:03:05,345
- Oh, I wish I was you.
- I really wish I was you.
68
00:03:05,369 --> 00:03:06,707
- No, I wish I was you.
- I wish I was you.
69
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I don't really wish I was you.
70
00:03:09,174 --> 00:03:11,054
No, I get it. I don't
really wanna be me either.
71
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But you're really good at
this. Like, do some more.
72
00:03:13,218 --> 00:03:14,796
Okay, let me give you
another one. Ready?
73
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:17,883
Tastes better than your sadness.
74
00:03:17,983 --> 00:03:19,801
- That's so good.
- Hold on. I have a better one.
75
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:23,530
Drown your sorrows in
a bottle of Guinness.
76
00:03:23,630 --> 00:03:25,852
That wasn't better.
That was just louder.
77
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Jack, could you please get me a beer?
78
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No.
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What do you mean, no?
80
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I'm sick of doing shit for
you, and I'm not gonna do it.
81
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You don't ever do anything for me.
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No, 'cause you're
always bossing me around,
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like you always have, like
you have my whole life.
84
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And you know what else?
85
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I cannot believe that you
did not give me the listing
86
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for this house. I cannot
believe that you...
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What the hell are you talking about?
88
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Jesus Christ, Jackie.
89
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I gotta hear from some chump realtor
90
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that my own sister's
selling her fucking house?
91
00:03:51,901 --> 00:03:54,699
- That's not right.
- I am not selling my house.
92
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- Really?
- Yes, that...
93
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That's why they're calling me?
94
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Jackie, why are you so insecure?
95
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- I'm not insecure.
- You are.
96
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You are insecure.
97
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If I had a house to sell,
98
00:04:02,913 --> 00:04:04,495
of course I would give it to you.
99
00:04:04,595 --> 00:04:06,597
Has anyone talked to
Joe Junior about this?
100
00:04:07,358 --> 00:04:09,020
I think Junior's trying
to sell the house.
101
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Are you fucking kidding me?
102
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I wish I was.
103
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And you didn't call me and tell me?
104
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What the fuck? I'm
telling you right now.
105
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I thought... we thought
you were in on it.
106
00:04:17,209 --> 00:04:18,831
- How you gonna take...
- Give me a sip.
107
00:04:18,931 --> 00:04:19,931
- I got this off that...
- Why the hell didn't you...
108
00:04:19,932 --> 00:04:22,435
- ... shit loser realtor...
- Why the hell didn't you call me?
109
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She just said she thought you knew.
110
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I'm not in on it, Jackie.
111
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That goddamn Joe is
trying to fuck me over.
112
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Well, that's true.
113
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I won't stand for it.
You know what I'll do?
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I will burn down this fucking house
115
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before letting him get away with that.
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Hey, Mom, you know if you go outside
117
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and you hug a tree
for five minutes a day,
118
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it's like taking an antidepressant?
119
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You know what you need to do
120
00:04:40,075 --> 00:04:41,355
that would help you a little bit
121
00:04:41,436 --> 00:04:43,859
feel better and everything in your life?
122
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Get a fucking job.
123
00:04:49,085 --> 00:04:50,707
You need 24 hours hugging that tree.
124
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- Mm.
- You need to lay off her.
125
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You gotta lay off her. You're
gonna have to talk to him.
126
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What do you wanna do?
127
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Listen, I'm not gonna talk...
128
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- Go to the beach.
- Go to the beach?
129
00:04:57,814 --> 00:04:59,877
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay, come on. Come on.
130
00:04:59,977 --> 00:05:01,657
You want to be part
of the decision-making?
131
00:05:01,739 --> 00:05:03,036
You're gonna have to do
something like talk to him.
132
00:05:03,060 --> 00:05:04,300
Be reasonable. Make him dinner.
133
00:05:04,382 --> 00:05:05,683
- Make him dinner?
- Yeah.
134
00:05:05,783 --> 00:05:07,183
That's what you think's gonna help?
135
00:05:07,225 --> 00:05:08,825
Make him dinner, like that thing you do.
136
00:05:08,867 --> 00:05:10,485
Yeah, hey, I thought
you were staying for supper.
137
00:05:10,509 --> 00:05:12,931
No, I gotta go to
7-Eleven, get a fucking job.
138
00:05:13,031 --> 00:05:14,733
That's very funny, Bridgette.
139
00:05:14,833 --> 00:05:17,777
Hey, hey, hey, remember, it
tastes better than sadness.
140
00:05:17,877 --> 00:05:19,539
- Bye, Jack.
- It does.
141
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:22,983
Go get us a couple of
cold ones, will you?
142
00:05:23,083 --> 00:05:24,704
Jesus, now I'm doing what you say to do.
143
00:05:31,412 --> 00:05:33,274
Oh, look. Our French fries.
144
00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:35,436
The waiter put them out here for us.
145
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How nice.
146
00:05:37,458 --> 00:05:40,001
Come on, let's go to the
beach. Sit on the water.
147
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Come on.
148
00:05:46,228 --> 00:05:48,611
- This is fun.
- One, two, three.
149
00:05:48,711 --> 00:05:50,253
- Ooh.
- Up.
150
00:05:54,678 --> 00:05:57,221
Fries are good.
151
00:05:57,321 --> 00:06:00,985
So I'm gonna probably have
to start working full-time.
152
00:06:01,085 --> 00:06:03,588
I know.
153
00:06:03,688 --> 00:06:05,550
So I'm not gonna be around as much.
154
00:06:05,650 --> 00:06:08,593
I know we don't have any more money.
155
00:06:08,693 --> 00:06:10,275
Well, we're gonna have money.
156
00:06:10,375 --> 00:06:12,317
Soon as someone hires me.
157
00:06:12,417 --> 00:06:15,361
What do you wanna buy with the money?
158
00:06:15,461 --> 00:06:17,443
A pony?
159
00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:19,646
Yeah, I want a pony.
160
00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:21,207
Me too.
161
00:06:21,307 --> 00:06:23,169
A rainbow pony.
162
00:06:42,210 --> 00:06:44,633
_
163
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_
164
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Hey, Mom.
165
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Shh. Sweet dreams.
166
00:07:12,644 --> 00:07:14,627
You didn't write down your
social security number.
167
00:07:14,727 --> 00:07:16,729
Oh, really?
168
00:07:17,089 --> 00:07:19,132
Oh, I must... where do I do it? Oh.
169
00:07:22,615 --> 00:07:26,159
You... you do have a
social security number?
170
00:07:26,259 --> 00:07:27,459
Oh, yeah. No, I do.
171
00:07:27,541 --> 00:07:28,923
- Okay.
- Question.
172
00:07:29,023 --> 00:07:30,440
Uh, do you have a
social security number?
173
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- I do.
- What's yours?
174
00:07:32,386 --> 00:07:34,706
Yeah, that's something that I
would prefer to keep private.
175
00:07:34,749 --> 00:07:36,687
Sometimes I don't remember
if it's a six or a nine.
176
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Easy mistake.
177
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It... it does have to be accurate.
178
00:07:39,795 --> 00:07:40,995
Okay. There you go.
179
00:07:41,036 --> 00:07:42,337
Okay.
180
00:07:42,437 --> 00:07:43,437
Actually, you know what? I think it's...
181
00:07:43,438 --> 00:07:44,740
I think it's a nine.
182
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,538
Yeah, it's definitely
a nine. Okay, all set.
183
00:07:46,562 --> 00:07:48,464
Mm-hmm, all right.
184
00:07:48,564 --> 00:07:51,347
Can't believe I'm here.
185
00:07:51,447 --> 00:07:53,390
You know, just that it's come to this.
186
00:07:53,490 --> 00:07:55,752
This is really for real poor people.
187
00:07:55,852 --> 00:07:57,875
Not like... you know what I mean.
188
00:07:57,975 --> 00:07:59,837
Yeah, well, you certainly qualify.
189
00:07:59,937 --> 00:08:01,657
I know, but, you know,
I'm college educated,
190
00:08:01,699 --> 00:08:02,960
for the most part.
191
00:08:03,060 --> 00:08:04,562
Some people would say I'm pretty,
192
00:08:04,662 --> 00:08:05,964
but, you know...
193
00:08:06,064 --> 00:08:08,487
Yeah.
194
00:08:08,587 --> 00:08:10,168
That's inappropriate.
195
00:08:10,268 --> 00:08:14,133
Look, you all feel that way.
196
00:08:14,233 --> 00:08:15,494
So just be grateful, okay?
197
00:08:15,594 --> 00:08:16,671
I can do that.
198
00:08:16,676 --> 00:08:18,698
This is an EBT card.
199
00:08:18,798 --> 00:08:22,062
You can use that at most
grocery stores or 7-Elevens.
200
00:08:22,162 --> 00:08:24,705
This government is so cool.
201
00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:27,147
Yep.
202
00:08:27,247 --> 00:08:30,631
Free money, free money, free money!
203
00:08:30,731 --> 00:08:32,954
Whoo-hoo! Whoo, whoo!
204
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:35,056
Oink, oink!
205
00:08:40,462 --> 00:08:42,925
Larry, you got a good voice, buddy.
206
00:08:43,025 --> 00:08:44,366
- You hungry?
- Mm-mm.
207
00:08:44,466 --> 00:08:46,329
Did Mama give you food?
Did you eat already?
208
00:08:46,429 --> 00:08:49,652
- I ate some cookies.
- You ate some cookies?
209
00:08:49,752 --> 00:08:52,015
Mama gave me French fries off the table.
210
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,898
Hello, Larry. When did you get here?
211
00:08:54,998 --> 00:08:56,500
- Hi.
- Hey, babe.
212
00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:59,183
Oh, is my hair disgusting?
It feels so gross.
213
00:08:59,283 --> 00:09:01,145
I look insane, stupid broken shower.
214
00:09:01,245 --> 00:09:02,787
Here, eat some.
215
00:09:02,887 --> 00:09:04,829
No, oh, thank you, but today
216
00:09:04,929 --> 00:09:06,871
is my non-eating day.
217
00:09:06,971 --> 00:09:08,128
You have a busy day today, babe?
218
00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:09,434
Yeah.
219
00:09:09,534 --> 00:09:11,657
But I wish I could
hang out with you guys.
220
00:09:13,258 --> 00:09:16,242
You got a good dad there,
Larry. Making you breakfast.
221
00:09:17,583 --> 00:09:19,005
My dad used to take me to Bunnings
222
00:09:19,105 --> 00:09:22,008
for the free sausage sizzle.
223
00:09:22,108 --> 00:09:25,853
Bunnings is a warehouse.
What are you doing today?
224
00:09:25,953 --> 00:09:29,817
Oh, um, private session.
I got a new client.
225
00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:31,979
Babe, that's amazing!
226
00:09:32,079 --> 00:09:34,022
- I'm so proud of you.
- Thank you.
227
00:09:34,122 --> 00:09:36,424
All right, I gotta run. Bye.
228
00:09:36,524 --> 00:09:37,786
Bye, babe. Love you.
229
00:09:37,886 --> 00:09:39,042
- Bye.
- Oh, fuck, shit.
230
00:09:39,047 --> 00:09:40,709
- I mean...
- Earmuffs.
231
00:09:40,809 --> 00:09:42,111
... trucks and sheeps.
232
00:09:42,211 --> 00:09:43,552
I forgot the, um...
233
00:09:43,652 --> 00:09:45,310
the plumber's coming
today to fix the shower
234
00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:47,156
and I'm not gonna be here. I'm sorry.
235
00:09:47,256 --> 00:09:48,918
- I'm sorry.
- Um, yeah.
236
00:09:49,018 --> 00:09:50,520
Uh, I'll be here.
237
00:09:50,620 --> 00:09:52,518
Even though you've got that
session and all those...
238
00:09:52,542 --> 00:09:53,982
Oh, you've got those errands to run.
239
00:09:54,024 --> 00:09:55,180
- I got it, yeah.
- Thank you.
240
00:09:55,185 --> 00:09:56,807
Okay, well, uh, Jim says to use
241
00:09:56,907 --> 00:09:58,325
the corporate card for the dry cleaners.
242
00:09:58,349 --> 00:09:59,890
- But get a receipt.
- All right.
243
00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:01,528
And then this is for Bed Bath
& Beyond for the sheets,
244
00:10:01,552 --> 00:10:03,014
and then here's, um, a 20 for...
245
00:10:03,114 --> 00:10:04,455
No, no, baby, I got cash.
246
00:10:04,555 --> 00:10:05,632
- No, thank you so much.
- Babe, I got ca...
247
00:10:05,637 --> 00:10:07,098
No, no.
248
00:10:07,198 --> 00:10:08,736
Oh, and my checkbook's in
the drawer for the plumber.
249
00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:09,836
- Bye.
- Bye.
250
00:10:09,841 --> 00:10:11,041
Yay, I get to shower tonight.
251
00:10:13,966 --> 00:10:16,589
Did you eat all of the sausage?
252
00:10:16,689 --> 00:10:19,793
I knew it was delicious.
253
00:10:19,893 --> 00:10:21,274
You wanna go see Auntie Itsy?
254
00:10:25,419 --> 00:10:29,283
Oh, Joe Junior, please
don't throw me out of my house.
255
00:10:29,383 --> 00:10:33,087
I'm broke and alone.
I'm just a silly woman.
256
00:10:33,187 --> 00:10:35,490
Please, what will I do?
257
00:10:35,590 --> 00:10:37,528
You're such a good actress.
You should have been an actress.
258
00:10:37,552 --> 00:10:39,054
That was convincing.
259
00:10:39,154 --> 00:10:41,336
Well, you know, never
underestimate the power
260
00:10:41,436 --> 00:10:44,220
of a guilty conscience.
Jesus taught us that.
261
00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:46,182
There you go.
262
00:10:46,282 --> 00:10:47,904
Bridgette, did you get a credit card?
263
00:10:48,004 --> 00:10:50,026
Uh, it's better. It's an EBT card.
264
00:10:50,126 --> 00:10:51,908
Food stamps?
265
00:10:52,008 --> 00:10:54,191
- Yeah, food stamps.
- Bridgette, come on, now.
266
00:10:54,291 --> 00:10:56,113
What are you, a welfare queen?
267
00:10:56,213 --> 00:10:57,213
Yeah, maybe I am.
268
00:10:57,214 --> 00:10:58,836
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
269
00:11:03,741 --> 00:11:05,684
All right, who's next?
270
00:11:05,784 --> 00:11:07,926
- Bridgette Bird.
- That's me.
271
00:11:10,909 --> 00:11:12,109
My queen.
272
00:11:12,111 --> 00:11:13,692
Welfare queen, that is.
273
00:11:13,792 --> 00:11:16,896
Absolutely. Mothering is
the most important job,
274
00:11:16,996 --> 00:11:20,540
and the U.S. government is
happy to recognize it as labor.
275
00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:21,640
Thank you.
276
00:11:21,641 --> 00:11:23,143
Check for $50,000.
277
00:11:23,243 --> 00:11:24,985
$50,000?
278
00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:28,429
And this hopefully will cover
any walking-around money.
279
00:11:28,529 --> 00:11:30,791
Wow, just for being a mom?
280
00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:32,353
Just for being a mom.
281
00:11:32,453 --> 00:11:34,155
Seven days a week, 24 hours a day,
282
00:11:34,255 --> 00:11:36,157
no weekends, no vacations.
283
00:11:36,257 --> 00:11:37,697
- To the moms!
- To the moms!
284
00:11:37,779 --> 00:11:40,082
It's just to help me
get back on my feet.
285
00:11:40,182 --> 00:11:41,258
- Mm.
- Mm-hmm.
286
00:11:41,263 --> 00:11:42,525
I thought Trump was supposed
287
00:11:42,625 --> 00:11:43,945
to get rid of all these handouts.
288
00:11:43,986 --> 00:11:46,529
Ma'am, you have a balance for 285.
289
00:11:46,629 --> 00:11:48,892
- What? Wait...
- You have a balance for 285.
290
00:11:48,992 --> 00:11:51,454
- No, I gave you the card.
- No, EBT pay only food.
291
00:11:51,554 --> 00:11:56,260
Most of the item that you
have over here is not covered.
292
00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:57,581
What? Like what?
293
00:11:57,681 --> 00:12:00,945
Tampon. Napkin.
294
00:12:01,045 --> 00:12:03,468
Plastic wrap. Hold this for me.
295
00:12:03,568 --> 00:12:05,270
The vitamin. Nothing on that.
296
00:12:05,370 --> 00:12:07,068
- What does this cover, then?
- They only...
297
00:12:07,092 --> 00:12:10,275
Only veggie, oatmeal, seed seed.
298
00:12:10,375 --> 00:12:11,575
What are seed seeds?
299
00:12:11,657 --> 00:12:13,199
It's a small seed.
300
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:16,122
You put it under the
ground and they'll grow up
301
00:12:16,222 --> 00:12:17,924
and you can eat that.
302
00:12:18,024 --> 00:12:19,842
Only the thing that not
covered with the food stamps,
303
00:12:19,866 --> 00:12:21,928
you have to pay cash.
304
00:12:22,028 --> 00:12:24,651
- Can you just cover me?
- No.
305
00:12:24,751 --> 00:12:26,049
I can take it
out the items not covered.
306
00:12:26,073 --> 00:12:27,374
No, no, wait. Just... It's okay.
307
00:12:27,474 --> 00:12:28,591
You're just... Just pay for it, Mom.
308
00:12:28,596 --> 00:12:30,578
I will pay you back.
309
00:12:30,678 --> 00:12:32,100
Look, this is not my fault, okay?
310
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:33,577
- Whose fault is it?
- I mean, it's probably...
311
00:12:33,601 --> 00:12:34,979
Hey, Bridge. Bridge, Bridge, Bridge.
312
00:12:35,003 --> 00:12:36,424
How much money do you need, honey?
313
00:12:36,524 --> 00:12:37,982
Listen, do not get
involved here, Jackie.
314
00:12:38,006 --> 00:12:40,149
She doesn't need any more handouts.
315
00:12:40,249 --> 00:12:41,786
- Mom, you're making a scene.
- No, hey, give me.
316
00:12:41,810 --> 00:12:43,813
Don't you touch my bag!
317
00:12:44,814 --> 00:12:47,857
I will pay for the stuff
for Larry, but that's it!
318
00:12:54,705 --> 00:12:55,861
Only Larry's stuff?
319
00:12:55,866 --> 00:12:57,368
'Cause he's just a baby.
320
00:12:57,468 --> 00:12:59,370
It's not his fault that
you're on food stamps.
321
00:12:59,470 --> 00:13:03,895
Um, can you just, uh,
save all this stuff for me?
322
00:13:03,995 --> 00:13:05,555
I can't. I have to put everything back.
323
00:13:05,637 --> 00:13:07,699
No, just put it in a bag,
and I'll be back later.
324
00:13:07,799 --> 00:13:09,217
Isn't that just like you, Bridgette?
325
00:13:09,241 --> 00:13:11,153
- Make everyone else clean up your mess.
- Put it back. Just put it back.
326
00:13:11,155 --> 00:13:13,646
You are a fucking terrible mother!
327
00:13:16,289 --> 00:13:17,831
Could you void that, please?
328
00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:19,047
- Yeah, but it's...
- Coll, Coll, Coll.
329
00:13:19,052 --> 00:13:20,433
I'm not making a scene.
330
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:21,853
We're not making a scene, Jackie.
331
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:23,215
- I can pay for it.
- Stop, okay?
332
00:13:23,296 --> 00:13:25,299
No, Jackie. You don't understand.
333
00:13:27,341 --> 00:13:29,343
Help me.
334
00:13:30,304 --> 00:13:31,966
Last week, I was at Lake Cochituate
335
00:13:32,066 --> 00:13:33,928
with Letty, swimming,
336
00:13:34,028 --> 00:13:35,770
and a big-ass trout following me.
337
00:13:35,870 --> 00:13:38,213
You're lying, bro.
338
00:13:38,313 --> 00:13:42,538
I went right, it went
right. It was on my ass, yo.
339
00:13:42,638 --> 00:13:43,838
Were you high?
340
00:13:43,879 --> 00:13:44,879
No.
341
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:46,142
Can you open this?
342
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:47,984
I even got out the
lake to try to lose it
343
00:13:48,084 --> 00:13:50,507
so it could follow Letty,
and it waited in there for me.
344
00:13:50,607 --> 00:13:53,030
- Mm.
- Looking at me with its beady little eyes.
345
00:13:53,130 --> 00:13:54,591
And now you're vegan?
346
00:13:54,691 --> 00:13:56,393
Craziest experience of my life.
347
00:13:56,493 --> 00:13:58,115
Let me ask you a question.
348
00:13:58,215 --> 00:13:59,757
Is Letty vegan?
349
00:13:59,857 --> 00:14:01,599
- Yeah.
- That's why you vegan!
350
00:14:01,699 --> 00:14:03,121
Negative.
351
00:14:03,221 --> 00:14:05,564
I had a spiritual
experience with a fish!
352
00:14:05,664 --> 00:14:07,205
I'm not trying to hear all that, man.
353
00:14:07,305 --> 00:14:08,382
Yo, call your sister, man.
I ain't got all fucking day.
354
00:14:08,387 --> 00:14:09,848
I've been texting her, bro.
355
00:14:09,948 --> 00:14:11,806
Man, her gym equipment
hookup better come through.
356
00:14:11,830 --> 00:14:14,453
Should have went to the store
like law-abiding citizens.
357
00:14:14,553 --> 00:14:16,296
No, we couldn't do that, could we?
358
00:14:16,396 --> 00:14:18,013
Look, I gotta get back to
the condo, let the plumber in.
359
00:14:18,037 --> 00:14:19,699
I gotta go pick up Nelly's dry cleaning.
360
00:14:19,799 --> 00:14:21,101
I got shit to do too, man.
361
00:14:21,201 --> 00:14:22,943
- Aww.
- What?
362
00:14:23,043 --> 00:14:24,861
She pay you extra to do the
dishes too, you pendejo?
363
00:14:24,885 --> 00:14:26,827
I get tips, all right?
364
00:14:26,927 --> 00:14:28,910
- Mexican maid.
- Puerto Rican maid, bro.
365
00:14:29,010 --> 00:14:31,308
Yay, yay, yay, yay,
yay. Look who's got your gloves.
366
00:14:31,332 --> 00:14:33,515
Where you been?
367
00:14:33,615 --> 00:14:35,032
I've been waiting for you
for, like, an hour and a half.
368
00:14:35,056 --> 00:14:36,398
How about you thank me? Look at them.
369
00:14:36,399 --> 00:14:37,399
Whoo!
370
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:38,600
That's what's up.
371
00:14:38,601 --> 00:14:39,801
That's dope. Look.
372
00:14:39,822 --> 00:14:40,822
She got the pink one and all that.
373
00:14:42,024 --> 00:14:43,566
What you know about that?
374
00:14:43,567 --> 00:14:45,349
Leather gloves? For real, Itsy?
375
00:14:45,428 --> 00:14:47,931
Yes, leather, for real, Carlos. What?
376
00:14:48,031 --> 00:14:49,412
You know how many of them animals
377
00:14:49,512 --> 00:14:51,094
are skinned each year for that leather?
378
00:14:51,194 --> 00:14:53,257
Oh, my God. We're in school now.
379
00:14:53,357 --> 00:14:55,499
No, teach us. How many
animals are skinned?
380
00:14:55,599 --> 00:14:56,599
Here we go.
381
00:14:57,831 --> 00:14:59,853
What? Oh, and look at that.
382
00:15:01,926 --> 00:15:03,464
A vegan smoking cigarettes.
That... that's cute.
383
00:15:03,488 --> 00:15:05,670
That's real... makes
total sense to me, man.
384
00:15:05,770 --> 00:15:07,709
How's your girlfriend Butchie?
385
00:15:07,733 --> 00:15:09,555
And I'm not a...
386
00:15:09,655 --> 00:15:11,157
Her name is fucking Abigail,
387
00:15:11,257 --> 00:15:13,119
and she Irish, and she got an accent,
388
00:15:13,219 --> 00:15:14,419
and she got red hair.
389
00:15:15,942 --> 00:15:17,844
- Yeah.
- Who got... who got red hair?
390
00:15:17,944 --> 00:15:19,020
- New girl, Abigail.
- New girl?
391
00:15:19,025 --> 00:15:20,287
Uh-huh.
392
00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:21,928
Damn, she get more girls than me.
393
00:15:22,028 --> 00:15:23,228
- Run in the family.
- What you want me to say?
394
00:15:28,315 --> 00:15:29,515
You want to make some tea?
395
00:15:31,079 --> 00:15:32,460
Okay. Green tea.
396
00:15:34,442 --> 00:15:36,180
Hello, hello, hello,
397
00:15:36,204 --> 00:15:37,826
my little nuclear family.
398
00:15:37,926 --> 00:15:39,548
Hey, babe.
399
00:15:39,648 --> 00:15:41,270
How was your day?
400
00:15:41,370 --> 00:15:43,392
Oh, it was good.
401
00:15:43,492 --> 00:15:46,276
Oh, look at all this.
402
00:15:46,376 --> 00:15:48,698
Oh, uh, I missed the plumber.
403
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:51,701
Fuck.
404
00:15:54,224 --> 00:15:58,369
But, babe, you told me you could do it.
405
00:15:58,469 --> 00:16:00,371
Yeah, babe, I didn't know
getting all this stuff
406
00:16:00,471 --> 00:16:02,473
was gonna take so long.
407
00:16:04,556 --> 00:16:07,579
Right, but I can't keep going
to the gym to shower, you know.
408
00:16:07,679 --> 00:16:10,382
I have to look a certain way for work,
409
00:16:10,482 --> 00:16:12,625
and it makes my hair all frizzy.
410
00:16:12,725 --> 00:16:13,925
Yeah, but this is for my work.
411
00:16:13,926 --> 00:16:15,508
Right, no, I know.
412
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:17,546
I didn't realize you'd
been saving all this money.
413
00:16:17,570 --> 00:16:19,432
So what?
414
00:16:19,532 --> 00:16:22,556
Well, so you never offered to help
415
00:16:22,656 --> 00:16:24,718
with any of the bills or anything.
416
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:27,041
You never asked me to
help with any of the bills.
417
00:16:27,141 --> 00:16:29,444
Mm. Yes.
418
00:16:29,544 --> 00:16:34,449
So I'm just working over 60 hours a week
419
00:16:34,549 --> 00:16:37,332
to pay off the mortgage?
420
00:16:37,432 --> 00:16:39,094
You wanted this condo.
421
00:16:39,194 --> 00:16:40,230
Right, it's my money.
422
00:16:40,235 --> 00:16:41,312
And this is my money.
423
00:16:41,317 --> 00:16:43,059
But it's not really, is it?
424
00:16:43,159 --> 00:16:44,901
No. Mm.
425
00:16:45,001 --> 00:16:46,983
Because I'm covering
for everything else.
426
00:16:47,083 --> 00:16:50,026
I mean, I have to pay
for Larry's food now too.
427
00:16:50,126 --> 00:16:51,544
You want me to pay for
the fucking breakfast?
428
00:16:51,568 --> 00:16:53,550
What the fuck? Huh?
429
00:16:53,650 --> 00:16:56,554
I'm... I'm starting this so that
I can, like, really have something
430
00:16:56,654 --> 00:17:00,158
going for myself. This could be real.
431
00:17:00,258 --> 00:17:01,960
Sure, right. I know.
432
00:17:02,060 --> 00:17:03,602
- You know what the problem is?
- What?
433
00:17:03,702 --> 00:17:05,323
You never support me. All right?
434
00:17:05,423 --> 00:17:08,167
You got me running around
like a fucking errand boy.
435
00:17:08,267 --> 00:17:09,768
And the second I get something going,
436
00:17:09,868 --> 00:17:10,985
you wanna start complaining.
437
00:17:10,990 --> 00:17:12,812
That is so unfair.
438
00:17:12,912 --> 00:17:16,095
All I do is support you. I...
439
00:17:16,195 --> 00:17:18,378
It's just it's a lot of pressure on me.
440
00:17:18,478 --> 00:17:19,780
- Pressure?
- Yes, pressure.
441
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:21,036
I put pressure on you?
442
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:23,344
- Yes.
- How about this?
443
00:17:23,444 --> 00:17:25,542
How about we take the pressure
off of you and we leave?
444
00:17:25,566 --> 00:17:27,268
- Fantastic.
- Is that what you want?
445
00:17:27,368 --> 00:17:30,091
Yeah, can you take this
stuff with you, please?
446
00:17:32,373 --> 00:17:34,916
I wanna go see Mommy!
447
00:17:38,781 --> 00:17:40,639
I just don't know if
we're right for each other,
448
00:17:40,663 --> 00:17:41,699
you know?
449
00:17:41,704 --> 00:17:43,045
Come on.
450
00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:44,847
She treats me like I'm a fucking...
451
00:17:44,947 --> 00:17:46,569
Mexican maid or something.
452
00:17:46,669 --> 00:17:49,252
Okay, so she's paying your
bills and paying for the condo
453
00:17:49,352 --> 00:17:51,455
and paying for Larry's
food, and you're complaining
454
00:17:51,555 --> 00:17:53,557
while I'm over here on food stamps.
455
00:17:54,238 --> 00:17:55,740
You are?
456
00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:58,302
Yeah, well, for one day.
It's been very rough.
457
00:17:58,402 --> 00:18:01,826
And you can't even buy
food on food stamps.
458
00:18:01,926 --> 00:18:03,348
You can just buy seed seeds.
459
00:18:03,448 --> 00:18:04,830
What the fuck is a seed seed?
460
00:18:04,930 --> 00:18:07,292
I liked it better when
I didn't know I was poor.
461
00:18:09,254 --> 00:18:11,077
- You know?
- Yeah.
462
00:18:11,177 --> 00:18:13,537
It's like being punished for
a crime you didn't even commit.
463
00:18:14,700 --> 00:18:16,282
I just hope it doesn't affect Larry.
464
00:18:16,382 --> 00:18:17,964
It won't.
465
00:18:18,064 --> 00:18:20,968
I was on food stamps my
entire fourth grade year.
466
00:18:21,068 --> 00:18:24,011
And the only thing I remember
is my mom buying me these Jordans
467
00:18:24,111 --> 00:18:26,113
that I really wanted.
468
00:18:26,474 --> 00:18:28,216
She was like my superhero.
469
00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:30,738
And look at you now.
470
00:18:30,838 --> 00:18:32,540
Living in a condo in the south end.
471
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:35,704
- It's her condo, first of all.
- I know.
472
00:18:35,804 --> 00:18:38,244
I'm just saying that I wish that
she would believe in me more.
473
00:18:38,327 --> 00:18:40,069
- Like...
- She does believe in you.
474
00:18:40,169 --> 00:18:42,031
Rafi, you gotta trust me on this.
475
00:18:42,131 --> 00:18:43,352
You're doing your thing,
476
00:18:43,452 --> 00:18:46,075
that, like, self-sabotage thing, okay?
477
00:18:46,175 --> 00:18:48,118
Where you, like, wanna
mess everything up
478
00:18:48,218 --> 00:18:50,040
'cause you're hurt or something.
479
00:18:50,140 --> 00:18:53,123
Like, little boy's hurt or
whatever fucking bullshit.
480
00:18:53,223 --> 00:18:54,503
I'm just gonna be real with you.
481
00:18:54,545 --> 00:18:56,287
When we were together,
I was always like,
482
00:18:56,387 --> 00:18:59,010
"Be a man and grow the
fuck up, you loser."
483
00:18:59,110 --> 00:19:01,212
And it made you crazy and
insane and do lots of drugs
484
00:19:01,312 --> 00:19:02,574
and feel misunderstood.
485
00:19:02,674 --> 00:19:05,417
And with her, she's
all like, "Oh, my God.
486
00:19:05,517 --> 00:19:06,819
My little puppy.
487
00:19:06,919 --> 00:19:09,702
Oh, you're so handsome
and big and strong,
488
00:19:09,802 --> 00:19:11,864
and let me support you and love you.
489
00:19:11,964 --> 00:19:14,107
And you're such a good
dad, and you're my hero."
490
00:19:14,207 --> 00:19:15,468
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
491
00:19:15,568 --> 00:19:17,911
Aussie dumb bullshit, blah, blah, blah.
492
00:19:18,011 --> 00:19:19,873
It's true. You guys are
perfect for each other.
493
00:19:19,973 --> 00:19:21,395
You're so fucked up.
494
00:19:21,495 --> 00:19:23,497
Little bitch.
495
00:19:24,378 --> 00:19:26,380
All right, I gotta go inside.
496
00:19:27,622 --> 00:19:29,644
I gotta return these keys.
497
00:19:29,744 --> 00:19:31,566
I hope the kids aren't
in there.
498
00:19:31,666 --> 00:19:36,572
It's gonna add shame to
my already shameful day.
499
00:19:36,672 --> 00:19:38,894
Mama, I'm hungry.
500
00:19:38,994 --> 00:19:41,697
Okay. We'll go to McDonald's after.
501
00:19:41,797 --> 00:19:43,579
Ugh. I'm the worst.
502
00:19:43,679 --> 00:19:46,262
- I'll be back.
- All right.
503
00:19:52,209 --> 00:19:54,311
Hello?
504
00:19:54,411 --> 00:19:56,414
Just dropping off the key.
505
00:19:59,857 --> 00:20:01,519
Ally?
506
00:20:18,839 --> 00:20:20,100
Can I help you with something?
507
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:21,462
Huh?
508
00:20:21,562 --> 00:20:22,943
Can I help you with something?
509
00:20:23,043 --> 00:20:24,243
No, no, I don't...
I don't need any help.
510
00:20:24,245 --> 00:20:25,586
- Thanks.
- You sure?
511
00:20:25,686 --> 00:20:27,668
I'm good. I don't need any help, man.
512
00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:33,995
I said I don't need help, brother.
513
00:20:34,095 --> 00:20:35,397
All right?
514
00:20:35,497 --> 00:20:37,239
- Okay, uh...
- What the fuck, man?
515
00:20:37,339 --> 00:20:38,637
Do I look like I fucking need help?
516
00:20:38,661 --> 00:20:40,038
Do I look like I fucking need help?
517
00:20:40,062 --> 00:20:41,524
No, no, no, no, no. No, we're good.
518
00:20:41,624 --> 00:20:42,885
We're good.
519
00:21:19,146 --> 00:21:20,607
Shall we say grace?
520
00:21:20,707 --> 00:21:22,049
Okay.
521
00:21:22,149 --> 00:21:24,011
Okay, well, you're the man. You do it.
522
00:21:24,111 --> 00:21:26,214
Oh, okay.
523
00:21:26,314 --> 00:21:31,099
Dear Lord, thank you
for this food, and, um,
524
00:21:31,199 --> 00:21:34,823
thank you for Tutu, who so
beautifully prepared this meal.
525
00:21:34,923 --> 00:21:38,627
- And, uh...
- Thank you, Lord, for this house, this home,
526
00:21:38,727 --> 00:21:41,030
and all the memories
that live within it.
527
00:21:41,130 --> 00:21:43,953
And please guide us, Lord,
as we have some big decisions
528
00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:45,755
to make in the next coming days.
529
00:21:45,855 --> 00:21:50,320
And please guide those
in positions of power.
530
00:21:50,420 --> 00:21:52,042
Amen.
531
00:21:52,142 --> 00:21:54,205
Amen.
532
00:21:54,305 --> 00:21:58,089
You know, your dad was
one hell of a companion.
533
00:21:58,189 --> 00:22:00,732
I mean, I can't tell
you how much I miss him.
534
00:22:00,832 --> 00:22:04,536
Every day, I feel him here
in this house and these walls.
535
00:22:04,636 --> 00:22:05,792
I really do.
536
00:22:05,797 --> 00:22:06,997
Feel him in the couch?
537
00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:10,543
That's funny, Joe.
538
00:22:10,643 --> 00:22:13,546
Listen, he would be so
happy right now to know
539
00:22:13,646 --> 00:22:15,648
that we're having dinner.
540
00:22:23,577 --> 00:22:25,620
I'm selling the house.
541
00:22:27,221 --> 00:22:28,963
Oh.
542
00:22:29,063 --> 00:22:32,848
I'm sorry, I just... Oh.
543
00:22:32,948 --> 00:22:35,411
- Michelle got laid off.
- That so?
544
00:22:35,511 --> 00:22:37,573
Yeah, and, you know, we got kids,
545
00:22:37,673 --> 00:22:39,255
- Tutu, little kids.
- Mm.
546
00:22:39,355 --> 00:22:41,818
Except for Shawn. He's
going to college next year.
547
00:22:41,918 --> 00:22:43,740
- Yeah, that's right.
- So he's big.
548
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:45,582
I understand that.
549
00:22:45,682 --> 00:22:47,684
A lot of things to think about.
550
00:22:48,485 --> 00:22:50,487
Have you thought about this?
551
00:22:51,608 --> 00:22:55,473
- This is my home.
- No, this is my dad's home.
552
00:22:55,573 --> 00:22:57,575
That you are living in.
553
00:23:03,021 --> 00:23:05,384
Your father killed himself.
554
00:23:07,106 --> 00:23:08,607
Yeah.
555
00:23:08,707 --> 00:23:10,169
Took all the meds that he had
556
00:23:10,269 --> 00:23:12,271
and he drowned in a bowl of soup.
557
00:23:13,433 --> 00:23:15,615
Why didn't you tell me?
558
00:23:15,715 --> 00:23:17,217
Why didn't I tell you that?
559
00:23:17,317 --> 00:23:19,700
Well, I was doing
something called protecting.
560
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:21,822
I was trying to protect you.
561
00:23:21,922 --> 00:23:24,865
Something that you know
nothing about, quite obviously.
562
00:23:24,965 --> 00:23:28,309
And here I made you my
beautiful chicken dinner, Joe.
563
00:23:28,409 --> 00:23:31,313
My chicken dinner. Get out of my house.
564
00:23:31,413 --> 00:23:33,355
What the fuck? You're fucking crazy.
565
00:23:33,455 --> 00:23:34,655
You get out of my house!
566
00:23:34,696 --> 00:23:36,478
Fuck you. This is my fucking house.
567
00:23:36,578 --> 00:23:37,920
And I'm taking my fucking jacket.
568
00:23:38,020 --> 00:23:40,603
Well, good! Take it!
I'm sick of seeing your face!
569
00:23:40,703 --> 00:23:42,081
No wonder he fucking killed himself.
570
00:23:42,105 --> 00:23:45,248
Oh, goddamn you, Joe Junior!
571
00:23:45,348 --> 00:23:47,350
Don't come back!
572
00:23:49,673 --> 00:23:51,675
Oh, God.
573
00:24:16,263 --> 00:24:17,463
Hey.
574
00:24:17,504 --> 00:24:18,926
Hey.
575
00:24:19,026 --> 00:24:20,848
Hi.
576
00:24:20,948 --> 00:24:22,950
You still pissed at me?
577
00:24:23,951 --> 00:24:25,953
No, I'm not pissed at you.
578
00:24:26,674 --> 00:24:28,676
You promise?
579
00:24:29,557 --> 00:24:30,819
Can you just come home?
580
00:24:30,919 --> 00:24:32,581
I'm in the living room.
581
00:24:32,681 --> 00:24:35,164
I didn't wanna come up
if you were still mad.
582
00:24:38,527 --> 00:24:40,430
What...
583
00:24:40,530 --> 00:24:42,632
Plumber's coming tomorrow.
584
00:24:42,732 --> 00:24:45,235
But I'll wash your hair tonight...
585
00:24:45,335 --> 00:24:46,917
if you want.
586
00:24:50,621 --> 00:24:52,423
Mm.
587
00:24:52,943 --> 00:24:55,206
I think today was my fault.
588
00:24:55,306 --> 00:24:58,089
You know, I suggested
that you move in with me,
589
00:24:58,189 --> 00:25:00,131
and I don't wanna push you away.
590
00:25:00,231 --> 00:25:02,734
I mean, I love you.
591
00:25:02,834 --> 00:25:05,017
Baby, you're not gonna push me away.
592
00:25:05,117 --> 00:25:07,119
Well, I did today.
593
00:25:08,561 --> 00:25:11,104
I wanna be with you forever.
594
00:25:11,204 --> 00:25:14,347
You know, I wanna
wash your hair forever.
595
00:25:21,855 --> 00:25:23,598
I wanna marry you.
596
00:25:23,698 --> 00:25:25,700
What?
597
00:25:27,061 --> 00:25:29,484
- I want us to get married.
- Shut up.
598
00:25:31,466 --> 00:25:33,929
We should get married, right?
599
00:25:42,599 --> 00:25:43,635
I wanna take care of you.
600
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:44,840
I... I wanna be here for you.
601
00:25:44,881 --> 00:25:45,917
I'll never leave you like that again.
602
00:25:45,922 --> 00:25:47,144
I want us to get married.
603
00:25:53,330 --> 00:25:54,952
- I love you.
- I love you.
604
00:25:56,854 --> 00:25:58,116
I fucking love you.
605
00:25:58,216 --> 00:26:00,398
- You wanna marry me?
- I do.
606
00:26:00,498 --> 00:26:02,120
Hmm.
607
00:26:10,590 --> 00:26:12,332
I'm gonna be a wife.
608
00:26:12,432 --> 00:26:13,773
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
609
00:26:13,873 --> 00:26:15,856
Yeah?
610
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:23,104
Wedding in Puerto Rico?
611
00:26:23,204 --> 00:26:24,425
- Puerto Rican wedding?
- Yeah.
612
00:26:24,525 --> 00:26:25,787
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
613
00:26:25,887 --> 00:26:27,764
- That's what you want? All right.
- Yeah.
614
00:26:27,769 --> 00:26:31,353
I wanna be a wife.
615
00:26:42,385 --> 00:26:44,808
What are you doing here?
616
00:26:44,908 --> 00:26:46,910
I don't know.
617
00:26:48,872 --> 00:26:50,874
- Hi.
- Hi.
618
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:58,063
You know, I cannot believe, Bridgette,
619
00:26:58,163 --> 00:27:01,987
I'm gonna be 64 years old and homeless.
620
00:27:02,087 --> 00:27:04,069
Well, I'm on food stamps.
621
00:27:04,169 --> 00:27:07,113
And I stole from Ally.
622
00:27:09,095 --> 00:27:11,838
Well, honey, you know,
she'll probably never notice,
623
00:27:11,938 --> 00:27:13,940
but don't do it again.
624
00:27:17,064 --> 00:27:18,485
Yeah.
625
00:27:18,585 --> 00:27:20,007
Got a real nice watch, though.
626
00:27:20,107 --> 00:27:22,169
- Hmm?
- Mm.
627
00:27:22,269 --> 00:27:24,212
- Bridgie.
- And some saltine crackers.
628
00:27:24,312 --> 00:27:25,894
Listen, Bridgie, food is one thing.
629
00:27:25,994 --> 00:27:27,575
Don't start stealing watches.
630
00:27:27,675 --> 00:27:29,275
That's a one-way to
the wrong way, right?
631
00:27:29,317 --> 00:27:31,219
- Mm.
- Just don't do it again.
632
00:27:31,319 --> 00:27:32,701
- Mom.
- What?
633
00:27:32,801 --> 00:27:34,503
You should have just married Joe.
634
00:27:34,603 --> 00:27:36,461
Sweetheart, you know I
couldn't get married again.
635
00:27:36,485 --> 00:27:38,027
It's not in me, you know.
636
00:27:38,127 --> 00:27:39,749
- Yeah, but come on.
- No.
637
00:27:39,849 --> 00:27:43,753
But what I should have done
was have my name on that deed.
638
00:27:43,853 --> 00:27:46,597
Fuck.
639
00:27:46,697 --> 00:27:49,320
Should we just... I don't
know... rent a time machine?
640
00:27:50,461 --> 00:27:52,763
Do a... do a little do-over?
641
00:27:52,863 --> 00:27:55,146
Yeah, Back to the Future again, maybe.
642
00:27:56,588 --> 00:28:00,652
What, Mom? What are we gonna do?
643
00:28:00,752 --> 00:28:02,754
How about we make a bet?
644
00:28:04,196 --> 00:28:05,312
- A bet?
- Yeah, you and me.
645
00:28:05,317 --> 00:28:06,539
What kind of bet?
646
00:28:06,639 --> 00:28:08,461
- One year from now...
- Mm-hmm.
647
00:28:08,561 --> 00:28:09,942
- ... one year...
- Mm-hmm.
648
00:28:10,042 --> 00:28:11,664
... you'll have a job that you love,
649
00:28:11,764 --> 00:28:16,029
a career-making job
that you're great at.
650
00:28:16,129 --> 00:28:19,793
And until then, you
take any job you can get.
651
00:28:19,893 --> 00:28:21,996
- And in one year...
- Yeah?
652
00:28:22,096 --> 00:28:24,098
... you own a house.
653
00:28:26,501 --> 00:28:28,723
You can't resist, can
you? You just gotta...
654
00:28:28,823 --> 00:28:30,485
- Oh!
- Mm!
655
00:28:30,585 --> 00:28:33,128
That's a clam on a
half shell right there.
656
00:28:33,228 --> 00:28:34,566
- Get it in there.
- I love you, kid.
657
00:28:34,590 --> 00:28:36,011
But you never stop.
658
00:28:36,111 --> 00:28:38,134
Look at how nice I made the skin there.
659
00:28:38,234 --> 00:28:39,434
Perfect.
660
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:50,000
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- www.addic7ed.com -
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