All language subtitles for Mom 8x05 - Sober Wizard and a Woodshop Workshop-en

Aw, damn it.

I hate it when I'm still in my comfies

and you're already back from the gym.

- You can always come with me.
- Maybe.

I go Mondays, Wednesdays...

Okay, I'm not coming.
Can we please move on?

Have a bite of this apple. It's

- maybe the best apple I've ever had.
- I'm good.

No, you got to try it. Come
on, it'll change your world.

What are you, that Bible snake?

I said I'm good.

Here. Check out this video.

Oh, is this the one with the dog

playing the piano with
a bird on its head?

No. My buddy Jay went skiing.

Doesn't he use a wheelchair?

Whoa! That's intense.

He invited me to go with him next week.

- Skiing? Are you gonna go?
- Yeah.

- Hell yeah!
- Cool.

Sad news, guys.

Adam's gonna die.

Skiing. He wants to go skiing.

He's in a wheelchair because of skiing!

Technically, it's
called "adaptive skiing."

Oh, good. Now I know what
to put on his tombstone.

I think it sounds cool.

You robbed a chain
restaurant in a cat suit.

You're not exactly the
queen of good judgment.

Note to everyone...
She's in a bit of a mood.

I've been skiing my whole life.

You break a leg or get
a severe head injury,

but you almost never die.

What did you say to Adam?

Nothing. I figured who am
I to tell him he can't go

before I have the right
words to tell him he can't go.

So make with the magic, Sober
Wizard. Give me the words.

What would it look like if you
didn't tell him how you feel

and you were just supportive?

Is she even listening to my story?

I'm just gonna hide
his wheelchair upstairs,

and that'll solve that.

Good plan, 'cause when you
tell your man what to do,

it usually ends up with
him asking for a break

and me riding my Peloton
for 15 hours a day.

I am completely numb down there.

Sweetie, we've been very patient
listening to your problem,

but it is now solution o'clock.

I got this, roomie.

When you're going through
a hard time, it helps

to get out of yourself by
being of service to others.

I think you ladies have been
living together for too long.

We have.

Hey, I've been mentoring kids

down at the Inspired Girl Project.

It's awesome. You want to come with me?

Really? I already wrote 'em a big check.

Can you write me one for Adam's casket?

Otherwise, I'm just
gonna stuff him in a bag.

Jill, you are amazing.

Not only do you donate your money.

Now you're donating your time?

Get ready for a half-page
profile in our newsletter.

Oh, it's not about me,
Bobbi. It's about the girls.

Ooh, that was pretty good.
Use that in the article.

There's Makayla. Let me introduce you.

Makayla, I want you to meet Jill.

She's gonna be your new mentor.

Hi.

Okay, I will leave you to it.

So what you got there,
Spanish? I've been to Spain.

It's Portuguese.

Oh, well, I have not been there,

but I have met a Portuguese water dog.

They don't shed.

They also have webbed feet.

I get that. I had a foster sister

who was a total nightmare.

I also had one who's now my
best friend on the planet.

Crazy thing is, same person.

Oh, I guarantee you, Monique

- will never be my best friend.
- You don't know that.

She put her toenail
clippings in my cereal.

That is hard to come back from.

With or without polish?

Tammy. Psst.

May I speak with you
in the beanbag area?

What are you talking about over there?

Foster moms and toenail
clippings; it's going great.

Well, can me and my kid come
sit with you and your kid?

'Cause I don't know what to talk about.

Well, just relax and be yourself.

And what, exactly, would I say

if I was being myself?

Just ask her questions, get to know her.

Find out what you have in common.

Do you think she's got a Peloton?

I do not. Dig deeper.

That's what my Peloton instructor says.

So, do you have a boyfriend?

No, I have a "it's complicated."

I have one of those, too.

Well, he just asked for a break,

so now I don't know what to call him.

Call him a jerk. Why
does he get to decide?

There are two of you
in the relationship.

That's what I told him,
but he didn't listen.

Because boys suck.

They certainly do.

Close up that book. Let's talk.

Okay.

Do you like this?

Or...

this?

Aren't you gonna be wearing a helmet?

Yeah, but when I take it
off, I want to look cool.

Well, then, neither.

Copy that.

I'm gonna tell him not to go.

Unless you want to tell
him. You want to tell him?

- He knows you have no agenda.
- Hey, Bon,

do you know where my red turtleneck is?

Remember, you spilled all
that ranch dressing on it.

We threw it out.

That didn't happen. I just hated it.

I'll just pick one up on the mountain.

Oh... Fine, coward, I'll tell him.

Hey, babe.

- Yeah?
- Nothing.

- I think I got everything.
- Super.

Man, I can't wait to
get back on the mountain

- and kick its ass.
- Watch out, mountain.

- All right, see you in a couple days.
- Okeydoke.

Bye, Adam.

Bye.

Gus, clear your afternoon.
Mommy needs to cuddle.

You know how you always want a guy

who can lift you up,
like in Dirty Dancing?

Andy could do that.

Not even on the dance floor,
just on the way to the kitchen.

What's Dirty Dancing?

Oh, my God, movie night at my house.

Relax. He's gonna call you.

Well, if you're so
sure he's gonna call me,

then why don't I just
call him right now?

- No!
- No!

He needs to realize that he messed up,

and that you're awesome.

Well, he better hurry,
because I am 42 years old,

and I want to pop out some babies.

You're 42?

I thought you were, like, 25.

Oh, my God, I love you guys.

What's going on? I
thought you girls were

gonna do my wood-shop workshop.

I'm sorry, these ladies
are amazing listeners.

Well, I'm in there making
squirrel-proof bird feeders

by myself.

But Jill has some drama going on.

Oh, honey, that's a show
you can catch anytime.

She's right.

Y'all should go learn some wood stuff.

Wait.

We're only gonna go if you promise

you're not gonna call Andy.

- Well, can I text him?
- Sorry, Tammy.

Oh...

Hey, babe, it's your wife, Bonnie.

I hope you're having tons
of fun up on that mountain.

If you want, and only if,
give me a little jingle-jangle.

Ciao.

Oh, my God, what if my last words to him

were "jingle-jangle. Ciao"?

Let's watch TV.

I can't watch TV.

You would look better over here.

And you would be better... over here.

Ah. Now a whole new apartment.

I had a plan...

but I don't remember what it was.

Oh, now I'm too tired
to move everything back.

What do you think, Gus?

Gus?

Oh, no!

Gus?!

Gus!

It's coming from inside the house.

Ooh!

Maybe I'm the one who's
gonna die this weekend.

Ah, there you are.

I thought I was down
a husband and a dog.

Why do you have Daddy's hat?

Do you know something I don't know?

Is this like you guys with earthquakes?

Aw, you miss him, too.

I'm mad at him. If he really loved us,

he would have stayed
here instead of careening

down a mountain on what
is basically a step stool.

With him gone, I'm gonna
have to run the bar.

And I don't know anything about taxes,

so I'll probably end up in jail.

Man, I should never have
listened to Marjorie.

"Be supportive."

Be supportive? That's not who we are.

Oh, okay. That's good.

But take it easy. I'm so sore.

- What did you do?
- I decided I want

- my kitchen table in my living room.
- Why do you want your... ?

Don't make me explain
it. I'm in crisis here.

I take it you're still
obsessing about Adam's ski trip.

Stop minimizing my fears by
describing them accurately.

You guys,

Makayla just photoshopped
me into a kayak

to put on Instagram
and make Andy jealous.

Hey, how did her physics test go?

No idea. But look at me.

Aw, thank you so much
for making me volunteer.

These girls are helping me so much.

Yep. That's exactly how
it's supposed to work.

Let me tell you why my fears and worries

are completely justified.

I had a lot of free time last night,

so I made a list of all
the things in my life

I loved and then lost.

Great, let's see it.

It's a mind list, but
I will read it to you.

Father... dead, mother...
abandoned me, now dead,

Christy... moved away,
Alvin... left me, came back,

then suddenly dead, Adam... TBD.

Stands for "to be dead."

Well, did you also make a list
of everything you still have?

Yeah, this sandwich and a
bunch of annoying friends.

Not you.

I like what you've done with the place.

- Alvin?
- Hello.

Wh-What-What are you doing here?

Well, I'm sitting at the kitchen table

in your living room, so I'm guessing

maybe you need someone to talk to.

I'm fine.

Okay, I'm not fine.

But I-I don't need you knowing
I've turned into a mess.

Oh, you've always been a mess.

I just let it slide
because you were hot.

Thank you.

I should tell you I'm married now.

I know. To the guy with the hair.

Well, I'm assuming, if you know
that much, you know his name.

Nah. I don't pay attention.

Is that because you're a little jealous?

Are you kidding? He had
a tough act to follow.

I wish him well.

I'm talking specifically about sex.

You were amazing,

but my husband is also
gifted in that department.

I don't need all the details.

I just love him so much.

I know.

I loved you, too,

and it took me so long
to get over losing you.

I can't go through that again.

You know what hurt the worst?

I didn't see it coming.

You think I did?

Last thing I ate was a spinach salad.

My whole life, the one
thing I never did was worry,

and now I can't stop.

I don't know what's happening to me.

I do. You're happy.

You're the happiest you've ever been.

It stings a little bit
that it's without me,

but it's pretty obvious
that between Adam...

So you do know his name.

Lucky guess.

Between Adam, your sobriety,

your relationship with
our beautiful daughter,

you're in a great place

and you're worried you could lose it.

That's all you got?

I'm miserable because I'm happy

and I should just be
happy that I'm miserable?

Be happy you have a lot to lose.

Stop worrying. That's
how lives get wasted.

And look at the bright side.

You'll probably die first.

Fingers crossed.

You look great, by the way.

The one thing they don't tell you:

whatever your last meal is,

that's all you get up there.

You're watching out for her, right?

I'm watching out for both of you.

And the guy with the hair, too.

Hey, Bobbi.

Hey, Tammy. You're early.

Yeah, I kind of have a problem

and I wanted to talk to you about it.

Well, that's why I started this place,

to help girls with their problems.

Whatever it is, lay it on me.

It's Jill.

Ooh, that's a sticky wicket.

She's a platinum-level donor,
and we only have one of those.

It's already in the newsletter.

She's supposed to be a
mentor, and all she does

is cry on the girls'
shoulders about her boyfriend.

They're basically mentoring her.

Well, the mentors are supposed to grow

from the relationship, too.

Makayla missed school
because Jill made her listen

to old Andy voice mails
so they could pinpoint

the exact moment everything went wrong.

- Ooh, boy. Not good.
- So, will you talk to her?

Well, if I were your mentor,

I would tell you this is something

you should probably work
out with Jill yourself.

- Is that 'cause you're afraid of Jill?
- Little bit.

Hey, ladies.

Where are my girls
at? I need a pep talk.

You can do it. Bye!

You can do what?

All right,

I want to say this as-as
carefully as possible.

Um, you are destroying
the Inspired Girl Project.

What?

These girls are not your BFFs.

You're supposed to be mentoring them,

not crying on their shoulder
about your boyfriend.

Well, but you told me I
was supposed to connect,

and I was connecting.

Yeah, and do you know
anything about them?

What they struggle with?
What they're good at?

No, you don't, because you've
made this whole thing about you.

Are you bullying me

in front of an anti-bullying poster?

I'm just saying you have
so much more to offer

than being some weepy
female boo-hooing over a guy.

I only full-on cried twice.

Sit down.

Listen to me.

You are a strong, powerful woman.

I mean, you've survived
your mom's suicide,

a painful divorce,

alcoholism.

You can show these girls they
can get through everything

they're going through,
and that starts with you

dealing with this break...

Which, by the way, is
a break, not a breakup...

Without falling to pieces.

What if this is a breakup?

Then you'll get through that, too.

And it's a great opportunity
to show these girls

that they don't need
a man to have value.

Because you sure don't.

Thank you, Tammy.

Hey, you want to be my assistant
for "How to Fix a Toilet" class?

- Do I have to touch anything?
- I'd prefer it if you didn't.

Then I would be honored.

Hey, Jill, how you holding up?

Oh, I'm good. I'm good, thanks.

Uh, right now what is
important is that Tammy

is gonna show y'all how
to fix your own toilet.

Really? Because we came up
with the perfect TikTok idea

for you to make Andy jealous.

That's okay.

I don't need a man to make
me feel good about myself.

Tell me later.

I don't remember where you
go, but now you live here.

- I'm home!
- Finally.

- Hey, babe.
- Hey.

- How was it?
- Unbelievable.

Well, that's great. I'm glad you went.

It took me a couple of
runs to get used to it,

but once I got it,
it was like old times.

I can't wait to go again.

Oh. Well... no.

- What?
- I say no. You are not going again.

I forbid you. It is forbidden.

What are you talking about?

I have been in hell for two days

because I was certain you
were gonna come home dead.

And don't say if you were
dead you couldn't come home,

because yes, you can, in a box.

What's happening?

I never wanted you to
go in the first place,

but because I'm a great wife, I let you,

and because you're a terrible husband,

you didn't know what I
wanted without me telling you.

Okay, but in my defense,
you've never not told me

every single thought or
feeling you've ever had.

Well, I'm growing.

I mean, I was really scared.

I-I rearranged the furniture,

I had a... I had a heart-to-heart
with an old lover.

- What?
- Well, it was a dream

or he was a ghost; it's unclear.

But all we did was hold hands.

I mean, he stroked mine
with his thumb a little bit,

but I did not stroke back.

Everyone knows it's not
cheating if it's a ghost.

Look...

I-I appreciate that you
were so concerned about me,

but this was the first
time since my accident

that I felt like my old self again.

I used to ride motorcycles

through fire and jump off buildings.

Sometimes for work, sometimes for fun.

Risk makes me feel alive.

But isn't being married to
me enough risk for any man?

You would think.

I'm sorry you were so worried.

That's okay.

I... I learned this from a dream,

so I don't know if I
trust it, but apparently

the only reason I was
miserable is because I'm happy.

And obviously I want
you to be happy, too.

So do whatever you need
to do to feel alive.

Ski, hang glide, eat gas station sushi.

Here's a crazy idea.

- Why don't you come with me next time?
- What?

Ski with me.

I-I don't know how to ski. I was poor.

I'll teach you.

Seriously, you're gonna
teach me something?

You do like risk.

I told you he was gonna be okay.

Ready to go again?

Okay, but after this next run,

can we please take a little break?

No way.

God, I can't get enough of this.

What is it with me and white powder?

All right, let's go.

- Adam?
- Yeah?

Try to keep up this time.

I love you!