All language subtitles for La Familia Stupid.1996).en

Ohh...

I've got a feeling

something special's
going to happen today.

Ahh.

Things to do today.

"Make check mark
on paper."

"Cross item out."

No time for that,
I'm afraid.

"And finally say,

'That seems pretty senseless,
but... whatever.'"

That seems
pretty senseless, but...

whatever!

That's odd.

Joan, honey, did you put these
trash cans on the curb?

Oh, I left the trash
out overnight.

Oh, dear.

Oh, no. Someone's stolen
our garbage again.

Oh, I just feel
so awful about this.

Darling, please.
It's not your fault.

It's the world
we live in today.

There are people out there
for whom nothing is sacred,

people who will steal
a man's garbage

week after week
after week.

We can get
through it, honey.

We'll borrow some garbage
till we're back on our feet.

Don't you see, Joan? That's
exactly what they're counting on.

Whoever keeps doing this knows that
people like us sit back and take it.

I won't
take it anymore.

Oh, Stanley, please.
Don't get involved.

I already am involved,
Joan.

Someone has stolen
from my family,

and I will not rest until
I bring them to justice.

Mmm.

Huh?

What in the world?

They're getting away!

I've got to follow them,
but how?

Two wheels.

Four wheels.

Eight wheels.

All right, crooks.

Now you've got Stanley
Stupid on your trail.

Morning, Petunia.

Morning, Buster.

Hey, sis,
have you seen Dad?

Isn't he sleeping?

No. And he's not
outside, either.

I got up early
to walk my fish,

and he was
already gone.

Do you think maybe...

he's been kidnapped?

Oh, my God. We must go
to the police station!

Just as soon as we've
left a note for Mom.

Hmm?

Oh.

Take this down.

"We have gone
to the police."

Po... lice.

"Daddy's been
kidnapped."

Kid... napped.

"Don't worry. We'll
be back soon."

Signed...
"Your children."

Your children.

Let's move.

Stanley?

Buster?

Petunia?

Stanley?

Buster?

Petunia?

Where is everybody?

It's impossible!

It can't be true.

Hello?

Hello, is this
Mrs. Stupid?

Yes.

I'm calling from
the police station,

Mrs. Stupid.

We, uh, have your
children here, ma'am.

Oh, my God, it's true!

The police have kidnapped
my children!

You two just sit
tight.

We'll have you home
in a minute.

OK, mister.
It's your turn now!

- Bye! Bye! Bye!
- Bye!

Mom?

Mom?

Mom!

Mom?

It's no use.

Mom's gone, too.

And we seem to be caught in a
deadly game of cat and mouse.

He left without
even ringing the bell.

Apparently, he only
wanted us to find this.

What's
the Jade Palace?

And what does it have
to do with Dad and Mom?

I don't know,
Petunia.

But it's time we went
there and found out.

Friday. June fourth.

Today my world
turned upside down.

First, I discovered
my husband missing.

Then, I learned my children had
been kidnapped by the police.

Now the fate of my family
rests in my hands.

Note to self.

I must buy hand-held
tape recorder.

Then I will no longer be speaking
into the garage door opener.

Some people can be
so inconsiderate!

Just the two of you?

Why... yes.

So they have been
expecting us.

Ohh... oh.

And what can I
get for you?

Oh, I think you've got
a pretty good idea

what we're looking
for.

May I recommend
the cashew chicken?

You'll get your cash when
we get our parents back.

And don't
call us chicken.

Oh, no. The truck!

It's gone!

I've lost it!

Now it could be
anywhere!

Finding it now would be like
finding a needle in a haystack!

It's always the last place
you think of lookin'.

I'll never get
the hang of these things.

Still no sign
of Mom or Dad.

I don't get it,
Buster.

Don't worry, Petunia. Whoever
brought us here will contact us

when the time is right.

Buster,
it's a message!

"Time flies when
you're having fun."

"Time flies
when you're having fun"?

Wait a minute!

Isn't the Daily Times published
just a few blocks away?

Yes!

At the corner of
Fun Street and Fly!

No, it's Maple
and Fifth.

Close enough.
Let's move.

OK. Camouflage lesson
number one.

To look like a bush,
you have to think like a bush.

OK. Here I am
just being a bush,

just growin'
and hangin' out.

Yes, this is
the life for me.

Sure is a lot of soil
around here.

A lot of sunshine, too.

As a bush,
I notice these things.

Wait a minute.
What's this?

I have arms.

I am a bush with arms!

And legs!

I am the first bush
in history with legs!

I can walk!

Oh, gaze ye unbelievers
upon this miracle.

This walking bush...

half man, half plant...

he dwells in two worlds
but is the master of both!

Oh, man-bush,

you are nature's
greatest wonder!

Poor fools
thought I was a bush.

I'll lock up the bikes.
You keep a lookout.

Let's move.

My children!

What's the matter
with you?!

You don't know
how to drive?!

Police.

If they recognize me,

they're sure to
kidnap me, too.

What to do?

My gosh!

There must be thousands
of people's garbage here.

Tens of thousands, even.

Why, the sheer organization necessary
to pull off a heist like this...

I've uncovered the crime
of the century!

Good day, officers.

Yes!

Is that everyone?

Affirmative, sir.

It's show time.

Welcome, gentlemen.

I apologize for the unpleasantness
of our surroundings.

The setting was chosen
for its seclusion,

not its beauty.

The weapons
you are about to see

are American-made,
and, I humbly submit,

the world's best.

International law has long
kept you from acquiring them,

but as of now,

I hope to help you
overcome that.

Lieutenant.

The first piece of equipment
we'd like to demonstrate

is the dragon
anti-tank missile.

Whether you want to foment
revolution or suppress it,

this hardware
will help you get it done.

Strange, indeed,
are the workings of fate.

How could I have known
that today I would wander

into the jaws of some kind
of super-crime?

Pardon me.

Chances are,
my life is already in danger,

yet I feel strangely,
intensely alive.

Every nerve is alert,
every sense working overtime.

Nothing escapes my eye.

'Scuse me.

One journey
has come to an end,

but I've got a feeling the
real adventure has just begun.

Buster, Petunia!

Aah!
Aah!

It's some kind of
ape woman!

Oh, no. It's me.

Your mother!

Your mother's some
kind of ape woman?!

No, no. Children,
it's a disguise.

They're wigs.

- Ah!
- Ah!

Next up
is an updated version

of the .45-caliber
personal sidearm.

I think you'll appreciate
the increase in stopping power.

Here we have
the traditional

M16 assault weapon

with extra-new capabilities.

Not only will it fire...

excuse me. You got a
pen I could borrow?

Thank you very much.

So what's going on
around here,

some kind of
company picnic?

Why, that's a very
festive name for it.

Notice all that garbage
out there?

It's all stolen.

There's something fishy
going on.

Frankly, our lives may
already be in danger.

I hear ya, pal.

At first I was pretty
tongue-tied myself.

Oh, Jerry, help.

I need a new headline for
the entertainment section.

"HBO has given the order
for a pair of original,

outer-space themed shows
for the new season."

Let's see.
What about...

"Two alien pilots
picked up by network."

Perfect.

I'm sending it.

Hey, you guys, give me a
hand in metro, will ya?

We were supposed to be
in print five minutes ago.

Psst!

Sis, over here.

I found a computer.

What have you got
in mind, Petunia?

A little ride on the information
super highway, Mom.

In this age
of microtechnology,

the computer's our gateway
to information.

Now all we've gotta do
is figure out the password.

How about nose?

It's worth a try!

All right, computer,

now tell us everything
we need to know about...

Stanley...

Stupid.

Relax, soldier.

A week from now, we'll
both be wealthy men.

I suppose so, sir.

But I can't help
wondering

what our country would
think of what we're doing.

This year
our country

refused my promotion,
Lieutenant.

They have only
themselves to blame now.

You really think
we can pull this off?

I gave my life
to the military.

Nothing's gonna stop me
from getting something back.

Sir, I think we have a
potential situation.

What is it, soldier?

An individual appears to have
infiltrated the proceedings.

As far as we can tell, he's not
affiliated with any of the buyers.

It's the CIA. We're probably
already surrounded.

Negative, sir. He
appears to be alone.

Alone?

Hmm.

Just what kinda
cowboy agent is this guy?

No one is to disturb him
without my order.

The buyers must not know
anything is amiss.

Understood, sir.

If I know my business,

the operative
will contact us.

To walk into
a situation like this

without support...

this guy must be
fearless.

Yes.

And very, very smart.

"Business, weather,
sports."

What is it trying
to tell us?

It's computer jargon, Mom.

It's like a whole
different language.

Now hand me a photo of Dad,

and let's see what
we can find out.

It's processing the data.

What does it say?

"Fatal error...

Drive B."

Oh, my God!

What does it mean?

I don't know!

We've got to warn your father.

Whoa!

Wha!

Oh!

Oh!

Look out!

Let's go!

We'd better
get outta here.

Let's go!

Our bikes are gone!

And the cops have
surrounded my car!

Run for your lives!

Whoa!

Wow!

...Stanley Stupid!

Cool runnings,
my brother.

Bye. Thank you.

Ah. Ah.

Hi. Stanley Stupid.

Oh.

Honored to make your acquaintance, Mr.
Stupid.

You must be a highly
skilled investigator

to have discovered
all of this.

Actually, I knew
I was on the trail

of some pretty
crafty thieves,

but I had no idea there would
be this much garbage out here.

You are clearly an agent
of enormous talents.

It's a shame the government
will never reward you

as richly
as you deserve.

No. The government doesn't
even know I'm here!

Ah. And that's why you've
approached me, isn't it?

To come and get
your share,

one way or another?

Actually, mister,

I've approached you
because I need a car.

Lieutenant, give our
friend the keys to my car.

A gift to the gifted.

Well, thank you
very much!

That's incredibly
generous!

Thanks a lot!

And to think I just
wanted a ride back to town!

Thanks, everybody!
I'll see ya!

Talk about
nerves of steel...

completely surrounded,
and he didn't even blink.

We bought him off
for now, sir,

but what's to stop him
from turning us in anyway?

You are, soldier.

Without disturbing
our clients,

follow, then terminate
the target

with extreme
prejudice.

Yes, sir!

Meaning?

Kill him.

Right.

Oh!

Boy...

you never realize how
many policemen there are

until the day they
turn against you.

This is the biggest
emergency of our lives,

and we can't even call 9-1-1!

A crisis like this calls for
even a higher authority.

Mom, dial 10-1-1.

I'm afraid that's not
good enough, children.

Your father's life
is on the line.

I'm calling 75,496-1-1.

Yeah.

Hello. My name
is Joan Stupid.

I'm a housewife, and I
desperately need your help.

Let me guess, lady. You've had
a hectic day runnin' around

taking care of
the kids,

and now you're panicked 'cause
your husband's due home.

That's right!

And you haven't had time
to cook dinner, right?

That's right, too!

I hear it every day
of the week.

You need our family special.
What's your address?

55 maple street.

Uh-huh. And does your
family like coleslaw?

Yes.

That's all the
information I need.

Relax. We'll have you taken
care of in less than an hour.

Oh, bless you!

No need to worry, kids.

The most sophisticated emergency
response team in the world

is working with us now.

Interestingly enough, their
strategy involves coleslaw.

Hello?

Hi, honey. It's me.

Oh, Stanley!

Darling,
are you all right?

I'm fine. But you won't believe
the things I've uncovered.

Stanley, listen
to me closely.

You must beware
of the Drive B.

What's
the Drive Bee?

We... don't know.

But any error you make
with it could be fatal!

Just as I suspected. My life
may already be in jeopardy.

What are you saying?

There must be some kind
of interference.

Hold on. I'll turn
down the radio.

Oops.

Whoo! Hot!

Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot!

Uh-oh!

Oh, hot!

Ooh!

Is there something about Dad
that you're not telling us,

something
about his past...

that would help explain
what's going on?

Children, I suppose
you're old enough

to know the truth.

And the truth is...

your father...

once worked inside
the system.

You mean...

that's right, Petunia.

Stanley Stupid
was a courier

for the U.S. Government.

At first it seemed like
the perfect job.

Every day brought new
and fascinating challenges.

Oh, great!

There you go.

537.

537.

Then, one day...

your father
discovered something.

Thank you.

That's odd.

Come in.

What is it now,
Stanley?

Something
very strange, sir.

It seems like an incredible
amount of letters

are being delivered to
somebody named "Sender."

Who is this "Sender"?

And what is he doing with
other people's mail?

I believe that this
calls for

a full-scale
investigation.

The next day,
he was fired.

They never told him why.

But of course!

He knew too much!

And my instinct
tells me...

we haven't seen the last of Mr.
Sender.

Is the target
neutralized?

I'm afraid not, sir.

It seems the enemy
repelled our assault team

with extreme
defensive aggression

in a... blowing-up-
their-car manner, sir.

So... he has
some combat skills

to back up
his bravado.

Who do we have
from Special Ops?

McClellan trained
with the S.O.F., sir.

Give him the assignment.

Let's see how our friend
handles a veteran assassin.

Ready?

Ready.

It's high time I got
myself another tattoo.

Just make sure
you do it clean.

We can't afford to leave
a trail of clues.

He'll never know
what hit him.

Did you know you had a
hole in your gas tank?

Actually, that's how
you get the gas in it.

Listen, top her off.
I'm gonna go freshen up.

Thank you for the excellent
service, old timer.

Yep.

Well?

I'm afraid
it's bad news.

Don't tell me he took
out McClellan, too!

It's uncanny, sir.

I've watched him dispatch
assailants effortlessly

with techniques that...

that defy description.

Who's our
explosives expert?

That would be
Martinez, sir.

Give him the assignment and
everything he needs to pull it off.

I want it done surgical
and I want it done now!

For God's sake,
we're military men.

Killing people
is supposed to be our job.

Go on!

Please, leave me alone.

What are you
trying to do, you darn bee?

Can'tcha see
I'm trying to drive?

Oh, my god!
The Drive Bee!

Fight, Stanley!
Fight for your life!

The tables have turned.

The hunter
becomes the hunted.

Mission
accomplished.

No one could have
survived that blast.

Now, that's a well-made shoe.

Here's your fare and a
little extra for yourself.

Thank you, sir.
What's the occasion?

It's just good
to be home.

Home.

You never know
how much it means to you

till you go away.

What are you doing
to my grass?

Buster?

Is that you?

Have I been away
so long?

You live next door,
Stanley.

Please, call me "Dad."

Dad!

This day keeps getting
stranger and stranger.

We find ourselves today
at the center of a puzzle.

At first,
all is confusing.

But as the pieces
come together, patterns emerge,

and before long
we can see

the sinister face
of conspiracy.

And it all begins
with a man named...

Mr. Sender.

Letters...

easier to open than
pistachios.

What's inside...

is more delicious.

"If you still love me,
Sally,

tie a ribbon
'round the old oak tree."

I'm afraid the only thing

that's going to be
hanging from that tree is you...

"Bob."

Poor Jenny Miller.

Nobody coming
to her wedding.

This postal ploy
of yours

is the most evil caper of our age, Mr.
Sender.

How will you ever
top yourself?

With a crime
so unthinkable

that no one has ever
dared to attempt it:

to rob an entire nation

of its garbage.

The one resource no one
ever thinks to protect.

Yet, without it,

every hefty bag,
every trash compactor,

every rubbish bin
in America

will be useless.

Desperate men
will roam the streets

with empty waste baskets.

Panic and chaos
will rule the land.

The precious balance of
civilization will be destroyed,

and then the world will
come begging for mercy...

to me.

Your job
is to kidnap anyone

who discovers
my diabolical plan...

including children.

This fiendishness
must be stopped!

It's not our battle
to fight.

We've got enough trouble getting
soy sauce into these tiny packets.

Maybe we can't stop
sender,

but I know someone
who can,

a bright fellow I worked
with in the postal service.

Are the guards
posted out front?

Only the best.

Well?

No one suspects
a thing, Mr. Sender...

unless that bush
has ears.

The joke's on you,
my friends.

Bad news, sir.

Stanley Stupid has
discovered our secret.

At last, a foe worthy
of matching wits with!

Release the Drive Bee!

So you see,
it all begins with Mr...

Sender.

But the police
are against us,

and obviously we can't
go to the press.

What are we going
to do, Stanley?

We've got to take on
Sender ourselves!

Oh, it won't be easy
finding him,

scouring the countryside
for microscopic clues,

following trails
that are long-since cold,

sensing him always nearby,

yet somehow maddeningly
beyond our grasp.

Hey!

There's a Charles Sender
listed right here

in this phone book.

The manhunt begins.

The car won't start!

Maybe the battery's
dead.

It was perfectly healthy
this afternoon.

Maybe it's got
some life left in it.

I'd better give it
mouth-to-mouth.

Not now, kitty. I've got
a battery to revive.

Wait a minute.
What am I doing?

I've cooked up some insane
conspiracy theory

and put myself in the middle
of an illegal weapons deal

with some of the world's
most dangerous men.

I've risked my life
and the lives of my family

in a scheme that makes
absolutely no sense at all.

Insight fading.

I must remember
not to go forward with this.

What is it, Stanley? What are
you supposed to remember?

Um...

I don't know.

Let's go, everybody.
We got a job to do!

Hey, what about
the delivery?!

You can't just order food
and run off like that!

You have insulted the dignity
of Floyd's Delicatessen.

You're sure
this is the place?

Oh, yes.

When I called Sender's
home,

his wife said
that he works here.

A likely story.

Ha!

OK, Joan. You and Buster search
that end of the building.

Petunia and I
will take this end.

And remember, everybody,
use your heads.

Oh!

I found his headquarters!

And I've stumbled upon
his fiendish laboratory!

Careful, Petunia.

One false move,
and we could end up dead.

Dad?

Petunia!

Everything's
gone dark.

I can't see a thing!

Oh, my God,
it's happened!

We're dead.

I knew it!

So this is heaven.

It's quite lovely,
really.

Funny, isn't it?

One minute
you're tracking down

the head of a global
conspiracy,

and the next minute,
poof... it's all over.

Sure puts things
in perspective.

You know who I miss
the most?

Mom and Buster.

Don't worry, honey.

They'll be joining us
soon enough...

the way your mom
drives.

Hello.

Somebody in here?

Dad, someone's coming!

You think?

Yes, Petunia.

It's time to meet
our creator.

Hail to thee,
oh, Lord.

Actually,
it's pronounced Lloyd.

All these years
we've been saying it wrong.

So...

this is the face of evil.

And this is the diary
of his twisted schemes!

Dates, numbers?

Years?

What in the world?

Buster, come on.

I found out where
sender's going next.

Just a minute, Mom.

I've discovered
a mysterious room here.

There's a strange-looking
clock over the top of it.

And a control panel
with a bunch of numbers.

One would almost think
it's some kinda...

time machine!

Mom!

Help!

Buster, no!

What buttons
did you press?

I don't know.

Just a bunch of
random numbers,

and the letters
"B-C."

Oh, my God!

We've traveled back
to the age of the dinosaurs!

It's just so amazing
to meet you at last!

Well, thank you.

It's nice to meet someone who
appreciates the work I do.

Appreciates it?

Why, you're the one
that takes care

of the entire universe!

But you'd be surprised how
little thanks I get for it.

Most people don't even
know I exist.

This is the single
most fantastic journey

in the history
of the world!

Keep your voice down,
son.

If one of these things wakes
up, we're in real trouble.

They look absolutely
starved!

Hey, look, Mom!

The cave of some
prehistoric peoples!

Their tools seem to be...

fashioned of
a primitive Styrofoam.

We've got to be careful,
Buster.

The slightest disturbance
to this ancient world

could affect the entire
course of history.

Yes.

The entire course
of history.

What are you doing?

Just think!

My name is now the first
word ever written.

This rock will be the most
sacred mystery on earth!

Buster,
snap out of it!

When mankind
learns to read,

I'll be worshipped!

Nations will rise
and fall in my name!

Life on earth

will be nothing but a
footnote to Buster!

We've gotta get
out of here!

Not to be disrespectful,

but I feel that perhaps
we've come here too early.

The truth is, you two
shouldn't be here at all.

You're sending us
back into the world?!

I'm afraid so. But
don't get me wrong.

It's been a pleasure
talking to you.

But there's work
to be done.

So our crusade against the
world's injustice is important!

Just head through the
door marked exit.

It'll take you back to
where your car is parked.

Did you hear that,
Petunia?

We're getting
a second chance!

Hurray!

Do you have any final words
for us before we go?

Well, if you wanna
make my job easier,

remember, throw your gum
in the trash

when you're done
chewing it.

I spend a huge amount of
time cleaning up gum.

So long as we live,
we shall fight that wrong.

Sorry, Mom.

I sort of went mad
with power back there.

Well, the most important
thing is we made it.

Mom! Buster!

Joan! Buster!

Dad! Petunia!

Stanley! Petunia!

You made it!

Are you all right?

How did it go
in there?

Joan, we had
a remarkable 20 minutes.

We died,
went to heaven,

met God, and got
brought back to life.

But still
no sign of Sender.

What happened
to you guys?

We traveled through time
to the age of dinosaurs,

and Buster
established himself

as the most important and
mysterious figure in history.

Buster?

Sorry, Dad.

And even more
importantly,

we found this.

Names, places,
dates, times...

wait a minute.

There's an entry
in here for today.

"Channel Three news
at 1:00."

We passed
the Channel Three news station

on the way over here.

It's almost
1:00 now.

The trail
is still fresh!

Let's go.

We're here.

Somewhere
in this building

is the man
we're looking for.

Let's find him
before he finds us.

Good news today
for culture buffs.

The new exhibit
arrives today

at the Museum
of Natural History.

Here to tell us
about the highlights

is Museum Director,
Charles Sender.

Welcome.

Thank you.

If you love
pre-Colombian sculpture

as much as I do,

you are in for
a real surprise.

In less
than an hour,

I will be picking up a stunning
collection of Olmec heads

on loan from museums
all over the world.

I understand
it's exhibits like this

have given our museum
its most profitable year ever.

You must be
a sought-after curator.

Yes. Sometimes I feel
like a hunted man.

Try your best
to blend in, Petunia.

Remember, we can't
afford to get caught.

Excuse me, I'm looking for
the Late At Night Show.

Excuse me. I'm looking for the
set of the Late At Night Show.

I'm supposed to make
a delivery there.

I'm supposed to make
a delivery there!

Could you give this
to Doug the stage hand?

He's a big fat guy.
You can't miss him.

Here...

this will get you backstage.
I really appreciate this.

I'm sorry.
They're taping a TV show.

No one gets in without
proper authorization.

Oh! Ma'am.
This way, please.

Keep your eyes peeled for
anything unusual, son.

Mr. Sender
can't be far away.

Just watch for the slightest
sign of strange behavior.

Dad?

They're putting make-up
on men in there.

Bull's-eye.

Are they ready?

Ready when you are.

Let's go, everyone.
We're on.

OK. Let's go.

Yeah, but Sly's
a lot taller now.

People think it's easy
being a celebrity,

but when they canceled my
series, Malibu Beach Detective,

I was just
absolutely devastated.

Well, I'm sure everyone

is very sympathetic
for you.

You put so much work
into such a fine series

to have it
taken off the air.

As an artist,
I was truly crushed.

It was the most awful,
heartbreaking,

shocking thing that's
ever happened to me!

Mom, I can't get
this light switch to work.

Just a moment, dear.

OK. Now, let's take
a look.

Well, maybe you'd
all be happier

if there was no
prime time television.

What's going on?

You could spend every night
reading books together.

Well, my next guest
is a world-class French chef,

so stay tuned everyone
and let's...

give it to the fat guy!

Fat?

Moi, fat?

OK. Let's settle,
everybody.

We're on in 5...

4... 3...

Have you ever thought you
came from an unusual family?

Well, after you meet
my guests today

you may want to adjust
your standards.

I divorced my wife

in order to date
her daughter.

I married
a Siamese twin

and had an affair
with her sister.

I've been engaged
to three of my cousins.

I...

well, to tell you
the truth...

I'm...

I'm my own grandpa.

You're your own
grandpa?

That's right.

Well, for those of us

who've never heard
of such a thing,

maybe you could explain.

Of course.
It's quite simple, really.

♪ Many many years ago
when I was 23 ♪

♪ I was married
to a widow ♪

♪ who was purty
as could be ♪

♪ This widow had
a grown-up daughter ♪

♪ who had hair of red ♪

♪ My father
fell in love with her ♪

♪ and soon
the two were wed ♪

♪ This made my dad
my son-in-law ♪

♪ and changed
my very life ♪

♪ for my daughter
was my mother ♪

♪ 'cause she was
my father's wife ♪

♪ To complicate
the matter ♪

♪ even though
it brought me joy ♪

♪ I soon became the father
of a bouncing baby boy ♪

♪ My little baby then became
a brother-in-law to Dad ♪

♪ And so became my uncle ♪

♪ though it made me
very sad ♪

♪ for if he was my uncle ♪

♪ then that also
made him brother ♪

♪ to the widow's
grown-up daughter ♪

♪ who of course
was my stepmother.. ♪

That was our banker
in Bern.

Payments will be
transferred to our account

when we deliver
the hardware

in approximately
two hours.

Nothing left to do but
relax, Lieutenant.

No power on earth
can stop us now.

♪ I'm my own grandpa ♪

♪ I'm my own grandpa ♪

It's impossible.

We killed that man.

Well, for God's sake,
kill him again.

Our future
is in his hands.

♪ My father's wife
then had a son ♪

♪ who kept them
on the run ♪

♪ and he became
my grandchild ♪

♪ 'cause he was
my daughter's son ♪

♪ My wife is now
my mother's mother ♪

♪ and it makes me blue ♪

♪ because although
she is my wife ♪

♪ she's my
grandmother, too ♪

♪ If my wife
is my grandmother ♪

♪ then I am
her grandchild ♪

♪ and every time
I think of it ♪

♪ it nearly
drives me wild ♪

♪ This has got to be the
strangest thing I ever saw ♪

♪ As husband of
my grandmother ♪

♪ I am my own grandpa ♪

♪ I'm my own grandpa ♪

Everybody!

♪ I'm my own grandpa ♪

♪ It sounds funny,
I know ♪

♪ but it really is so ♪

♪ Hey! I'm
my own grandpa ♪♪

Stay tuned, everybody.

We'll be back
after this break.

Thanks again for coming to
the station, Mr. Sender.

It was a pleasure,
I assure you.

Bye-bye.

Sender!

We meet at last.

No time to chat,
I'm afraid.

I'm taking over the heads of
a dozen foreign countries.

My God!

His plans for
world domination

are already
coming together.

You know what's
strange, Dad?

I would have thought a man
as powerful as sender

would be surrounded
by bodyguards.

You can't see them, Buster,
but they're here,

ready to pounce
on anyone

who so much as utters
the words,

"I'll get you yet,
Sender." Whoa!

Hey! Let go
of my dad!

Buster!

What happened?

It's Sender's men!
They captured Dad!

So where are
we going, fellas?

Fasten your seat belts.

You're a clever man,
Mr. Stupid...

if that really is your name.

Too clever
for your own good.

You play the innocent
most convincingly.

You thought
you'd fool me

into thinking
you were dead

and then you'd
catch me red-handed

when I went
to make the sale.

A masterful
bit of strategy,

and you came dangerously
close to pulling it off.

We'd better
get going, sir.

We're due at Warehouse
21 in less than an hour.

Warehouse 21?

No use gathering
intelligence now, my friend.

Our little
chess game is over.

I hope you won't find
the end game

too unpleasant.

I'm sorry, ma'am.
There's nothing I can do.

It's no use.

They won't let anyone on
to that Army base

unless they're in
the Army.

This is serious.
Dad's in danger.

We've got to think
of something.

What if we form
our own army?

To do that, we'd have
to form our own country!

We could call it
"Stupidia,"

a sovereign nation
with its own laws

its own customs,
its own government.

Mom, as mother
of this household

your leadership's withstood
the test of time.

I'd like to nominate
you as president.

To the polls,
everyone.

Get this
over with, already.

This guy's already
taken out three of our best.

Relax.

His hands are tied.
He's unarmed.

We've got two guards
posted outside.

I've got a gun on him.

There's no way
he's leaving here alive.

Isn't that right,
Mr. Stupid?

Remember, throw your gum
in the trash

when you're done
chewing it.

I spend a huge amount of
my time cleaning up gum.

In the name
of the Lloyd!

Oh, gee.

All right.
Get your hands up.

Thank you,
dear Lloyd!

The polls
are dead even,

give or take a vote.

If only we knew
who Dad was voting for.

Joan! Joan!

Congratulations, Mom.

Thank you, everyone.

And as your president,

I appoint
Stanley Stupid

head of the Army!

Your first duty is
to go to that army base

and rescue my husband.

And get our dad
while you're at it.

I'm afraid those two
will have to wait.

We've got to get
to Warehouse 21.

Joan, give me
the keys.

The car won't start.

Dad, you and Mom...

switch places.

Mom, hand the keys
to Dad.

Good work, everybody!

This must be the place.

Well, what have we here?

Shh.

Sorry.

Excuse me, everyone.

May I have
your attention, please?

Impossible.

He's amazing.

Before you unleash strife

and warfare upon
this planet,

please look
into your hearts.

No guns.

Inside,
you're still human beings.

You can change
your ways.

You all could come back
from the dark side.

You. Send a squad toward the
eastern flank of the warehouse.

You. Organize a counter
to the left.

Your men will back
the first two squads

while my men
rove on point.

But he's only one man.

Trust me.

You don't want
to underestimate him.

So turn yourselves
in, everyone.

My family and I do not
wish to fight you.

But if you
do not give up,

you will leave us
no choice.

Are they giving up?

No. As a matter of fact,

they seem to be organizing
some sort of massive attack.

I guess they want
to do things the hard way.

They seem
pretty well armed, Dad.

Yes, Buster,
but so are we.

They may have
knives and guns

and missiles
and bombs,

but we're armed
with the fact

that what we're
doing is right.

Sometimes you have
to trust in that.

Let the final
showdown begin.

Don't!

Get him!

Whoa!

Run! Move!

Left! Right!

Right!

- Left! Left!
- Right!

Left! No, no... the other left!

No, no!

Take your time, men.

He's unarmed.

Or am I?

Ah-ha!

Ah-ha!

I'm stuck! I'm caught.
I'm trapped.

Somebody help me!

I'm "cornered."

Yes! That's the word
I'm looking for.

I'm cornered!

I'll save you, Dad.

Must...

concentrate.

Focus, power of mind...

over matter.

Channel every ounce
of will power.

It's working!

I've done it!

Behold the super human
strength of Buster!

Huh?

Grrrah.

Buster!

Whoa... whoa...

Buster...

Sorry, Dad.

What the hell
was that?

Sounds like it came from
the warehouse district.

Phew.

Buster? Stanley?

Please be careful
out there.

There's lots of little fires
burning all over the place.

This is the worse fire
extinguisher I've ever seen.

How lovely.

- Aah! Aah!
- Aah!

Car 15, request back-up.

Send squad cars immediately
to Warehouse 21.

Car 15,
we are on our way.

Oh, great.

Fine! Just great.

We've got to
get out of here.

Not to worry. The police
are on my side...

as far as they know.

How do I look?

Quite convincing, sir,
but what about me?

You, my friend...

are on the wrong
side of the law.

Sir?

Get some cuffs
over here!

I got
the ring leader.

Shoot to kill, boys.

Those are evil men
in there.

You've got to let me
through, officer.

The cargo
I'm transporting

is extremely cultural.

I'm sorry, sir.

No one's getting through
here at the moment.

I guess I'll find
another route home.

In the meantime, could
you pull your vehicle

over with the rest
of the cars?

Oh, Stanley. You were
so brave in there.

Look! The police
are on our side again.

Yes. Our work here
is done.

Before we go, there's a
certain arch villain

I'd like to speak to.

I have a feeling he learned
an important lesson today.

Well, my friend,
it seems you lost.

I certainly am.

Problem is, you took the wrong
road right from the start.

Can you help get me
back on the right path?

Yes, I can.
But it won't be easy.

You've got to turn
yourself around.

You've got
to straighten out.

But as long
as you can remember

to head toward
the light,

you'll never go wrong.

Thanks. You've really
saved me.

Until we meet again.

It's been
quite a day.

I have to say that I'm
glad it's finally over.

I'm afraid
it's not over yet.

You must think
you have some kind

of guardian angel,
Stanley.

You thought you could take
me on and pay no price...

destroy my future...

and then slip through my
fingers again and again.

Well, not this time,
bucko!

This time I'm gonna
take care of you myself.

Where's your guardian
angel now?

Betcha surprised
to see me!

We certainly are.

And very impressed,
I might add.

Let this be
a lesson to you.

Nobody gets away
from me.

I've been on
the job too long.

Here's your bill.

I would have thought guardian
angels worked for free.

Oh, Joan. You're so
wonderfully naive.

I assume you work
for the Lloyd?

Me? No. My boss'
name is Floyd.

No, it's pronounced
Lloyd.

Hey, neighbor.

Hey, Stanley.

Didn't see you around
much this weekend.

Whatcha been doing?

This and that...

had breakfast, read the paper,
saved the world.

Is that right?

Today I thought
we'd have a barbeque.

Stop by. There's plenty
for everyone.

Thanks, Stanley,
but I left the water

running in my bathtub.

This is gonna be
great, Dad!

Say, how can I help?

You can flip
the burgers, son,

but I'd better handle
the lighter fluid.

See? "Keep out of reach
of children."

You've gotta
be careful.

What is it, boy?

What is it, kitty?

Are you hungry?

You want a biscuit?

That poor dog doesn't know
what he wants sometimes.

♪ Many many years ago
when I was 23 ♪

♪ I was married
to a widow ♪

♪ who was purty
as could be ♪

♪ This widow had
a grown-up daughter ♪

♪ who had hair of red ♪

♪ My father
fell in love with her ♪

♪ and soon
the two were wed ♪

♪ This made my dad
my son-in-law ♪

♪ and changed
my very life ♪

♪ for my daughter
was my mother ♪

♪ 'cause she was
my father's wife ♪

♪ To complicate
the matter ♪

♪ even though
it brought me joy ♪

♪ I soon became the father
of a bouncing baby boy ♪

♪ My little baby then became
a brother-in-law to dad ♪

♪ and so became my uncle ♪

♪ though it made me
very sad ♪

♪ for if he was my uncle then
that also made him brother ♪

♪ to the widow's grown-up daughter
who of course was my stepmother ♪

♪ I'm my own grandpa ♪

♪ I'm my own grandpa ♪

♪ it sounds funny I know ♪

♪ but it really is so ♪

♪ Ho! I'm my own grandpa ♪

♪ my father's wife
then had a son ♪

♪ who kept them
on the run ♪

♪ and he became
my grandchild ♪

♪ 'cause he was
my daughter's son ♪

♪ my wife is now
my mother's mother ♪

♪ and it makes me blue ♪

♪ because all though
she is my wife ♪

♪ she's my
grandmother, too ♪

♪ If my wife
is my grandmother ♪

♪ then I am
her grandchild ♪

♪ And every time
I think of it ♪

♪ It nearly
drives me wild ♪

♪ This has got to be the
strangest thing I ever saw ♪

♪ As husband of
my grandmother ♪

♪ I am my own grandpa ♪

♪ I'm my own grandpa ♪

Everybody!

♪ I'm my own grandpa ♪

♪ it sounds funny,
I know ♪

♪ but it really is so ♪

♪ Hey! I'm
my own grandpa ♪♪