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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,907 --> 00:00:09,843 You know, I always thought I was a loser 2 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,679 when it came to women. 3 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,414 But this time, 4 00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:16,250 this time was going to be different. 5 00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:22,856 I will become a Republican. 6 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:26,860 I bet you, a date on craigslist. 7 00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:29,897 Bro, I'll whip out my dick 8 00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:32,366 at a Disney concert. 9 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:35,736 I bet you cream for your herpes. 10 00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:39,107 - Just because you got a cushy job, 11 00:00:39,107 --> 00:00:42,076 don't think you can start pulling ass like me, alright? 12 00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:44,345 Gotta have game. 13 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,116 - I'll tell you what, 14 00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:53,787 I'm so confident that I will put my car 15 00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:56,690 on the table, that says that I get a hotter girl than you. 16 00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:59,327 Hold on, I'm getting ahead of myself. 17 00:00:59,327 --> 00:01:01,129 Damn it. 18 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,668 Let's go back. 19 00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:10,138 I was 13 hanging out at Sydney's house 20 00:01:10,138 --> 00:01:12,373 with my best friend Dean. 21 00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:15,876 My first kiss wasn't exactly what I expected. 22 00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:18,312 - Hey Dean, truth or dare? 23 00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:22,816 - Dare. 24 00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:30,358 - I dare you to kiss Max. 25 00:01:33,994 --> 00:01:35,429 - Alright. 26 00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:46,707 Like I said... 27 00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:49,477 It wasn't what I expected 28 00:01:49,477 --> 00:01:52,613 and it wasn't what Dean expected either. 29 00:01:53,414 --> 00:01:55,583 In college, 30 00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:58,085 in college there was Libby. 31 00:01:59,086 --> 00:02:02,490 Libby was a friend with benefits. 32 00:02:08,196 --> 00:02:13,201 * I'm so crooked I could break you on a semi-straight eye * 33 00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:16,470 - Hey Max, I thought I'd try something new tonight. 34 00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:20,107 * That's my mentality 35 00:02:20,107 --> 00:02:22,210 It wasn't a good thing. 36 00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:26,214 The relationship that is. 37 00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:30,251 And then there was Julie. 38 00:02:30,251 --> 00:02:33,020 I thought she was the one. 39 00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:44,698 Hello, greeting, may I help you? 40 00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:46,066 - Oh sorry, wrong buzzer number. 41 00:02:46,066 --> 00:02:47,468 No problem. 42 00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:54,442 Greetings. 43 00:02:54,442 --> 00:02:56,310 - Is this Julie's apartment? 44 00:02:57,278 --> 00:02:58,512 I'm sorry cupcake. 45 00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,314 Who is this? 46 00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:01,815 - Julie?! 47 00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:04,051 Max is that you? 48 00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:06,086 - Yeah. 49 00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:07,755 What are you doing here? 50 00:03:07,755 --> 00:03:10,558 - I came back a day early to surprise you. 51 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,395 Surprise. 52 00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:17,698 Max you should've called first. 53 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:20,568 Come back to bed muffin. 54 00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:24,738 Scott get off, cut it out. 55 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,282 Hi it's Julie, I'm not here -- 56 00:03:34,282 --> 00:03:36,384 - Oh that's real mature not answering. 57 00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:38,018 Julie! 58 00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:40,821 Julie! 59 00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:44,392 Would you just come down for one minute, we can talk. 60 00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:49,196 Julie! Julie just come down for one minute please! 61 00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:52,165 Shut the fuck up man! 62 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:54,167 - Hey man cut me some slack, come on! 63 00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:56,404 Shut the fuck up, it's Sunday morning. 64 00:03:56,404 --> 00:03:58,539 I'm gonna put a boot in your ass. 65 00:03:58,539 --> 00:04:02,843 - Julie! Julie, just one minute please! 66 00:04:12,453 --> 00:04:14,455 Julie. - Max. 67 00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:23,531 Didn't you get my Twitter? 68 00:04:23,531 --> 00:04:25,699 - Um, no. 69 00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:29,703 - Max I broke up with you. 70 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:36,510 Listen, you're gonna have to take the dog. 71 00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:41,482 The new guy is allergic so... 72 00:04:44,352 --> 00:04:46,219 Bye baby. 73 00:04:56,597 --> 00:04:59,099 - Are you kidding me? 74 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:05,005 I guess when you add it all up, 75 00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:08,141 I still haven't figure out women. 76 00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:40,901 - Good morning Allison. 77 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,035 - Looking sharp. 78 00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:43,170 - Thank you. 79 00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:45,238 - So today's the big day huh? 80 00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:47,374 - Actually I'm here to ask you out. 81 00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:49,577 - Ohh, where are the flowers? 82 00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:52,379 This girl, needs flowers. 83 00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:53,681 - Next time, I promise. 84 00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:55,483 Mhmm. 85 00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:56,884 - Hey what's this? 86 00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:58,886 - Oh that's the flyer from my art show. 87 00:06:58,886 --> 00:07:01,321 It's next Saturday night, you should come. 88 00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:02,956 - Cool I will. 89 00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:05,225 - Here, this one is on the house for good luck. 90 00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:09,196 - Thank you, I need all the help I can get. 91 00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:13,033 Looking forward to your show. 92 00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:16,236 - Hi, what can I get for you? 93 00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,174 - Ambitious Marketing, hold please. 94 00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:23,711 Ambitious Marketing, hold please. 95 00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:27,748 Mr. Koster is expecting you in his office, 96 00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:29,750 he'll see you in five minutes. 97 00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,051 - Thank you. 98 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:35,255 - Ambitious Marketing, this is Mila how may I help you? 99 00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,558 Max. 100 00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:40,060 - Oh Mr.Koster, I was just about to come see you. 101 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:44,031 - You know you have many chances in life. 102 00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:46,900 Love, happiness, all the good things. 103 00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:49,837 But you have only one chance at this job. 104 00:07:49,837 --> 00:07:52,205 We're all replaceable. 105 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,308 - That makes sense and thank you for your trust Mr.Koster. 106 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,877 I'll work 24/7. 107 00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:58,411 - Let me give you some advice. 108 00:07:58,411 --> 00:07:59,647 Ok I'm all ears. 109 00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:02,550 - All work and no play makes life very boring. 110 00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:04,685 Know what I mean kid? 111 00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:05,753 - I think so. 112 00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:07,087 Good. 113 00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:08,221 - Mr. Koster? - Yeah. 114 00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:09,389 - The board is ready for you now. 115 00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:11,324 Good, I'm ready for them. 116 00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:16,897 - Max Burns. 117 00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:17,798 Max I have Chicago on line one. 118 00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:19,833 - Yeah I'll take the call. 119 00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:26,974 - So Max, 120 00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:28,308 now that you're gonna be a suit, 121 00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:30,811 you still wanna hang out with me? 122 00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:32,713 - And you are? 123 00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:36,817 - Dean, I'm your friend. 124 00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:39,319 - Of course I'll hang out with you. 125 00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:41,288 Hey I wanted to ask you, 126 00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:42,355 what do you think of the barista 127 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,991 in the coffee kiosk downstairs? 128 00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:45,826 She's hot right? 129 00:08:46,393 --> 00:08:48,729 - That dude's a girl, really? 130 00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:51,398 It's all about Mila, the receptionist. 131 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,936 Office hottie of the year, Dean's list. 132 00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:57,705 I don't have a chance with her. 133 00:08:57,705 --> 00:09:01,074 - Bro, I don't have a chance with her, I'm a mail boy. 134 00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:02,943 You're an executive now. 135 00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:05,245 Hey by the way, congratulations. 136 00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:06,179 - Thank you. 137 00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:07,781 I gotta go set up my new office 138 00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:09,917 but I'm gonna put in a good word for you. 139 00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:14,321 - Thanks, oh and those complaint forms, just toss 'em out. 140 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:32,472 Max Burns. 141 00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:33,674 Hi sweetheart. 142 00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:35,743 - Hey, hey mom, how you doing? 143 00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:36,877 How are you? 144 00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:38,946 - I'm good, good you? 145 00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:40,380 How's your day? 146 00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:42,149 - Just working. 147 00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:44,417 I miss you. 148 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:45,653 - Yeah I miss you too. 149 00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:47,420 Seeing anyone new yet? 150 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,522 - Nobody since Julie. 151 00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:51,291 Well don't you think it's about time? 152 00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:53,360 - This is Mila, how may I help you? 153 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,428 One moment please. - Yeah you're right. 154 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,298 Hey mom I gotta go, I'll talk to you later. 155 00:09:58,298 --> 00:09:59,299 I love you, bye. - I love you too. 156 00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:01,034 Come to dinner. 157 00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:26,126 - Congratulations Max. 158 00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:38,205 - Are those real? 159 00:10:38,205 --> 00:10:41,141 - Why don't you find out? 160 00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:47,948 Motorboat. 161 00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:51,151 I love my job. 162 00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:56,957 - Ambitious Marketing please hold. 163 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:01,895 - Nice office. 164 00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:06,566 Did you ask Mila out? 165 00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:08,568 - Thanks and no. 166 00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:10,738 - Forget her, hey let's go out tonight 167 00:11:10,738 --> 00:11:12,439 and celebrate your new promotion. 168 00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:14,241 - Can't, I have work to do and then there's an office 169 00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:16,744 function afterwards that I have to show my face at. 170 00:11:16,744 --> 00:11:18,378 After that? 171 00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:19,612 - Yeah we can go after that. 172 00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:21,148 - I'm thinking a couple of local places 173 00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:23,083 that are packed with women. 174 00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:24,617 - Na, bar girls don't like me. 175 00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:28,221 - Max, dating is like, lotto. 176 00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:31,224 Alright you can't win if you don't play. 177 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:36,563 So play and know that you're probably gonna lose, 178 00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:38,766 most of the time, everybody can't be a winner, 179 00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:40,934 but when you do win, 180 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,170 you won. 181 00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:44,938 But ah, lose the suit. 182 00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:46,639 - You're wearing yellow. 183 00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:48,641 - It's banana. 184 00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:26,814 - Max, come and meet the family. 185 00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:31,684 This is my daughter Claire. 186 00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:32,986 - Claire, Max Burns. 187 00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:34,154 - Hi Max. 188 00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:36,356 - Max is an executive at the company. 189 00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:40,127 - Honey, don't we need to go 190 00:12:40,127 --> 00:12:42,062 or we'll miss our dinner reservation? 191 00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:44,564 - If you say so we do. 192 00:12:48,836 --> 00:12:50,537 See you tomorrow Max. 193 00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:51,872 - Yes sir. 194 00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:04,584 Oh no we're not together. 195 00:13:05,152 --> 00:13:07,487 - What are we doing here anyway? 196 00:13:07,654 --> 00:13:08,856 - That. 197 00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:14,962 - Hi ladies. - Hi. 198 00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:18,866 A, girls like to shop. 199 00:13:18,866 --> 00:13:20,934 B, we like girls. 200 00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:22,402 C, 201 00:13:24,872 --> 00:13:27,574 we like, we like girls. 202 00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:30,477 - Good point. 203 00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:35,448 - MB, here's your chance, spit some chem. 204 00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:40,487 In the '70s and '80s it was Africa. 205 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:43,490 In the '90s black, what is it now? 206 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:46,559 Please let me explore that world. 207 00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:49,429 Oh, oh she's coming to talk to you. 208 00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:50,363 - Um, hello. 209 00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:52,399 - Hello. - Hey. 210 00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:04,611 - Bro, hello ain't gonna get you laid. 211 00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:05,812 Hello. 212 00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:07,747 - Dude whatever, she wasn't even interested. 213 00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:09,382 - You have to make her interested. 214 00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,919 You have to say things that interest her. 215 00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:15,022 "Hey, my name is Max, what's yours?" 216 00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:17,958 You come out with confidence. 217 00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:22,562 Girls like two things, men with status and with game, 218 00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:24,097 and that's it. 219 00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:25,565 - You don't have any status. 220 00:14:25,565 --> 00:14:28,568 - I know but they don't know that. 221 00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:32,605 - Ok and when's the last time that you dated a hot girl? 222 00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:35,375 - You don't call Monica fine? 223 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,144 God she was hot! 224 00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:38,946 - Yeah compared to what? 225 00:14:38,946 --> 00:14:40,948 - Compared to what? Compared to your sick 226 00:14:40,948 --> 00:14:43,483 attraction to average looking girls. 227 00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:45,852 - Ok you and I have different taste. 228 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:49,990 You know what's hot for you is not necessarily 229 00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:52,993 what's hot for me, I just, that's it. 230 00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:54,261 - Yeah we do. 231 00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:56,163 You like average looking girls, 232 00:14:56,163 --> 00:15:00,633 I like hot beautiful sexy little things. 233 00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:03,303 You know dude, like the ones that wanna tickle your balls. 234 00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:04,972 - You're sick. 235 00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:07,674 - Yeah, I'm just a guy dude. 236 00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:10,978 Let's go to the CD store, there's always chicks there. 237 00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,184 Hi may I help you? 238 00:15:17,184 --> 00:15:20,653 - Hi, we're just looking. 239 00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:23,023 - Well what were you just looking for? 240 00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:26,026 - I don't know when I see it I'll know. 241 00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:28,428 - You'll know if you want it just by appearance? 242 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:29,729 Yeah. 243 00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:32,865 - We have headphones, just bring up any CD 244 00:15:32,865 --> 00:15:34,867 and I'll hook you up. 245 00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,603 - Ok thanks. 246 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,571 - No problem. 247 00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:42,275 - I'm just looking too. - Oh. 248 00:15:44,011 --> 00:15:46,179 - You're real pretty. 249 00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:50,150 - Thanks, my boyfriend thinks so too. 250 00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:53,053 - Yeah, everybody has a boyfriend right? 251 00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:56,489 - Mine's right over there. 252 00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:02,462 - He's a lucky man. 253 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,931 - Thanks, I think so too. 254 00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:06,833 Hi honey. 255 00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:08,268 - Hi shmoopy. 256 00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:22,249 - I listen to that CD in my car. 257 00:16:23,883 --> 00:16:26,153 - This is a DVD. 258 00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:57,784 What? 259 00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:03,090 I can't hear you, stop revving your engine. 260 00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:10,663 - You're beautiful. 261 00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:12,265 - Thank you. 262 00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,667 Do you work here? 263 00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:19,339 - No but maybe I can help I know the alphabet. 264 00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:23,110 - My friend Julia over there is looking for the latest 265 00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:27,280 Slava CD, but they're sold out. 266 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,882 - You know my friend knows the band. 267 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,118 - You're kidding? 268 00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:33,120 Whoa, ok. 269 00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:50,137 Where you going? 270 00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:58,311 - Bro, where'd you go? 271 00:17:58,311 --> 00:17:59,812 - I went after this girl. 272 00:17:59,812 --> 00:18:01,381 - Who? 273 00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:04,451 - This girl, she's incredible, she just pulled outta here. 274 00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:07,620 - Incredible huh? 275 00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:09,956 What if I told you I had two hot chicks coming home 276 00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:11,491 with us right now? 277 00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:13,160 - I'd find that hard to believe. 278 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:15,027 - Well here they come. 279 00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:16,629 - What are their names? 280 00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:19,065 - I forgot. 281 00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:20,667 - Well which one is mine. - Who cares? 282 00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:22,835 Oh and your place is now mine. 283 00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:27,807 Ladies, this is Max, introduce yourselves. 284 00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:30,543 - I'm Annette and this is Julia. 285 00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:31,211 - Hey. 286 00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:32,212 - Hi. 287 00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:34,181 - Hey thanks for burning that CD. 288 00:18:34,181 --> 00:18:35,948 - Yeah, no problem. 289 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:38,985 - Yeah Dean told me that your friends with the band. 290 00:18:38,985 --> 00:18:40,820 That's cool. 291 00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:42,222 - Yeah. 292 00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:45,858 Meeting. 293 00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:48,094 This is not gonna work out. 294 00:18:48,094 --> 00:18:51,864 - Bro, she smokes. 295 00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:54,734 She pokes. 296 00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:08,215 - Hey, do you like Bawls? 297 00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:09,416 - What? 298 00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:12,452 Oh yeah I like blue Bawls. 299 00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:24,331 - Oh it sounds like Dean and Annette really like each other. 300 00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:25,532 Oh my -- 301 00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:28,735 - Yeah Annette's not very picky. 302 00:19:28,735 --> 00:19:29,569 Harder! 303 00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:31,238 - Neither is Dean. 304 00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:49,422 - Hey do you have a phone? 305 00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:51,391 - Oh yeah, no, I'll give you my number. 306 00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:53,693 I'm not that kind of guy. 307 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:56,996 - Oh no, actually, I just need to return a call. 308 00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:59,399 My battery's dead and I have to call my boyfriend back, 309 00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:01,934 we're getting together later. 310 00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:03,836 - Oh great. 311 00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:07,774 - Oh my God. 312 00:20:07,774 --> 00:20:09,742 I just realized who you look like. 313 00:20:09,742 --> 00:20:11,110 - Who? 314 00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:13,380 - My little brother. 315 00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:15,348 He's so cute, take it as a compliment. 316 00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:17,784 It really is, a compliment. 317 00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:20,219 - Great, thanks. 318 00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:28,027 - I don't know what happened 319 00:20:28,027 --> 00:20:29,796 I mean everything was perfect, the mood was right. 320 00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:31,664 She really seemed like she was into me and I like 321 00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:34,734 reached over and wack, she gave me the hand. 322 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:38,170 I mean what happened to "If she smokes, she pokes", hmm? 323 00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:40,740 - It must've been an urban legend, I don't -- 324 00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,742 Did you rush her? It sounds like you rushed her. 325 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:45,144 - No, no I didn't rush her. 326 00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:47,814 And you and Annette moaning in the background didn't help. 327 00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:52,419 - Bro I can't help that alright? I'm a screamer. 328 00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:55,254 - Fellas, anybody want some PB and J? 329 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,456 Not anymore? 330 00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:57,690 - We're about to go to lunch. 331 00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:58,691 - Ok. 332 00:20:58,691 --> 00:21:00,693 - What lunch? 333 00:21:00,693 --> 00:21:03,396 - Bro how often do you get to treat me? 334 00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:06,098 Lunch is the most important meal of the day. 335 00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,467 - You are pushing your luck. 336 00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:08,968 Alright, let's go. 337 00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:10,069 See you Jeff. - Later Jeff. 338 00:21:10,069 --> 00:21:11,904 - Later folks. 339 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,841 I don't-- 340 00:21:19,479 --> 00:21:21,213 - I mean you have no idea the kind of problems 341 00:21:21,213 --> 00:21:23,683 that I'm incurring with Julia from human resources. 342 00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:25,184 I mean the people that she's sending me, 343 00:21:25,184 --> 00:21:28,788 they're completely unprepared, unqualified to close calls. 344 00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:31,724 I'm spending like an average of 14 to 15 minutes 345 00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:34,994 each call just to finish, it's ridiculous. 346 00:21:34,994 --> 00:21:36,162 Aha. 347 00:21:36,162 --> 00:21:37,797 - Are you even paying attention to me? 348 00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:40,032 Are you listening? - Yeah, yeah. 349 00:21:40,833 --> 00:21:42,535 - You never listen, I know it. 350 00:21:42,535 --> 00:21:43,970 - Yes I'm listening. 351 00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:46,706 - Ok well, do you kinda feel like the guys 352 00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:48,575 at the office hate me? 353 00:21:48,575 --> 00:21:50,577 I feel like I'm getting these weird looks at the office. 354 00:21:50,577 --> 00:21:52,545 I mean I don't know if you've noticed but like, 355 00:21:52,545 --> 00:21:56,282 just like I'm wearing a suit doesn't mean, you know, 356 00:21:56,282 --> 00:21:58,217 that I can't hang out. 357 00:21:58,217 --> 00:22:00,019 It's just, yeah I'm working long hours 358 00:22:00,019 --> 00:22:02,188 and I can't do the same things we use to do 359 00:22:02,188 --> 00:22:05,291 but I'm still your buddy right? 360 00:22:06,593 --> 00:22:08,928 - Hey I'm gay! 361 00:22:18,605 --> 00:22:21,207 - Oh my God, that was her. - Who? 362 00:22:21,207 --> 00:22:24,411 - The girl from the other night, from the record store. 363 00:22:27,146 --> 00:22:30,182 We can get her, we can get her, come on. 364 00:22:39,291 --> 00:22:41,327 Where'd she go? 365 00:22:41,327 --> 00:22:43,262 Did you see where she went? 366 00:22:44,931 --> 00:22:46,433 Are you even looking? 367 00:22:46,433 --> 00:22:47,834 - Yeah. 368 00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:50,437 Bro that's the kind of girl you should be dating 369 00:22:50,437 --> 00:22:52,639 now that you're an executive. 370 00:22:53,239 --> 00:22:55,708 Are you coming to my show tonight? 371 00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:58,244 Yeah yeah if I have time. 372 00:22:58,845 --> 00:23:00,346 If you have the time? 373 00:23:00,346 --> 00:23:02,615 You're giving me a ride there. 374 00:23:03,149 --> 00:23:05,785 I don't drink anymore because I break out in felonies. 375 00:23:06,953 --> 00:23:08,354 How do you get a blonde girl to church? 376 00:23:08,354 --> 00:23:10,723 Tell her there's a guy hung like this. 377 00:23:13,460 --> 00:23:15,595 You suck! 378 00:23:16,463 --> 00:23:18,465 - Terrible joke. 379 00:23:20,299 --> 00:23:22,502 My friend Max, 380 00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:27,974 you're the only one wearing a tie. 381 00:23:29,676 --> 00:23:31,711 I introduced him to the first girl he had sex with, 382 00:23:31,711 --> 00:23:34,847 not only introduced, inflated and bought. 383 00:23:36,516 --> 00:23:38,985 He's a rich executive and he still doesn't get laid. 384 00:23:38,985 --> 00:23:42,154 Even gold diggers won't tap that. 385 00:23:43,490 --> 00:23:47,494 He's so single, he's three rejections away from turning gay. 386 00:23:47,494 --> 00:23:49,629 Not that there's anything wrong with that, 387 00:23:49,629 --> 00:23:52,932 it actually sends a letter, it's sad. 388 00:23:52,932 --> 00:23:55,034 It's pathetic, you know he's addicted to porn, 389 00:23:55,034 --> 00:23:57,036 and doesn't even know it. 390 00:23:57,036 --> 00:23:59,506 When you walk into his bedroom, he has beads, 391 00:23:59,506 --> 00:24:01,273 and you have to show your ID. 392 00:24:07,980 --> 00:24:10,550 Max was even rejected by a blind chick. 393 00:24:14,587 --> 00:24:17,624 He even feels ugly. 394 00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:20,126 Ah ladies and gentleman Max. 395 00:24:22,829 --> 00:24:24,697 - Max, where you going? He's just kidding. 396 00:24:24,697 --> 00:24:26,766 - Jokes buddy. 397 00:24:26,766 --> 00:24:28,901 As you can see he was trying to bring sexy back 398 00:24:28,901 --> 00:24:31,604 but all he could get was store credit. 399 00:24:32,572 --> 00:24:34,273 What's going on with those guys who go to the gym 400 00:24:34,273 --> 00:24:36,643 and only work out their upper body? 401 00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:41,814 We see you dude, do you have a clown ... 402 00:24:42,715 --> 00:24:44,951 You're shaped like a -- 403 00:24:56,629 --> 00:24:59,198 Well that could be a good look on you. 404 00:25:00,567 --> 00:25:02,735 - Hey Allison. 405 00:25:02,735 --> 00:25:05,805 - Hi Max, what are you up to? 406 00:25:05,805 --> 00:25:08,274 Been celebrating your promotion? 407 00:25:10,577 --> 00:25:13,580 - This is it, woohoo. 408 00:25:18,317 --> 00:25:19,218 I better -- 409 00:25:19,218 --> 00:25:20,587 - Do you wanna walk with me? 410 00:25:21,588 --> 00:25:23,489 - Yeah sure. 411 00:25:25,191 --> 00:25:27,994 I don't know just lots of work. 412 00:25:28,828 --> 00:25:30,229 So what kind of art do you do? 413 00:25:30,229 --> 00:25:32,198 - Well mostly oil on canvas 414 00:25:32,198 --> 00:25:35,234 but I do experimental art too. 415 00:25:40,506 --> 00:25:43,109 What's your favorite color up there? 416 00:25:45,277 --> 00:25:46,746 - Blue. 417 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:52,251 - Is that your frame of mind or is that your favorite color? 418 00:25:52,619 --> 00:25:54,086 - Both. 419 00:25:54,086 --> 00:25:56,122 - Oh Max. 420 00:25:57,089 --> 00:26:00,526 Hey I have something I wanna show you, come on. 421 00:26:04,664 --> 00:26:06,365 - Where are we going? 422 00:26:06,365 --> 00:26:08,635 - Right here. 423 00:26:09,035 --> 00:26:11,137 - Right here, in the middle of the parking lot? 424 00:26:11,137 --> 00:26:12,872 - Mmhmm. 425 00:26:14,874 --> 00:26:16,075 What's that? 426 00:26:16,075 --> 00:26:20,647 - This is a Chinese fire lantern. 427 00:26:20,647 --> 00:26:23,182 My friend sent it to me from China. 428 00:26:25,217 --> 00:26:28,087 And it's considered to be good luck. 429 00:26:28,988 --> 00:26:31,824 And when you light it and let it go, 430 00:26:31,824 --> 00:26:34,226 it symbolizes letting go of all of your problems 431 00:26:34,226 --> 00:26:36,262 and your worries. 432 00:26:36,963 --> 00:26:38,765 - I need that. 433 00:26:38,765 --> 00:26:40,700 - I can tell. 434 00:26:45,304 --> 00:26:47,039 - Is that dangerous? 435 00:26:48,007 --> 00:26:50,309 - Not with me. 436 00:26:54,013 --> 00:26:56,082 Here, you should let it go. 437 00:26:56,082 --> 00:26:57,183 Are you sure? 438 00:26:57,183 --> 00:26:58,517 Definitely. 439 00:26:59,686 --> 00:27:01,053 - Ok. 440 00:27:01,353 --> 00:27:03,489 You just let it go. 441 00:27:28,547 --> 00:27:30,850 - Kind of reminds me of a painting I did in high school, 442 00:27:30,850 --> 00:27:32,719 the supernova. 443 00:27:32,719 --> 00:27:34,954 - I didn't know you're an artist. 444 00:27:34,954 --> 00:27:37,957 I'd love to see your work sometime. 445 00:27:37,957 --> 00:27:39,892 - I'm not believe me. 446 00:27:39,892 --> 00:27:42,929 - Oh I'd still love to see it. 447 00:27:44,897 --> 00:27:47,333 - I'll leave the art to you. 448 00:28:01,814 --> 00:28:04,350 I never knew you were so funny Max. 449 00:28:04,350 --> 00:28:05,752 - Hey can I ask you a question? 450 00:28:05,752 --> 00:28:07,386 - Sure. 451 00:28:10,089 --> 00:28:11,958 - What do women want? 452 00:28:11,958 --> 00:28:14,560 Is it money? Power? 453 00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:18,597 Looks? All of the above? None of the above? 454 00:28:18,597 --> 00:28:20,900 I mean you're a woman, what do you want? 455 00:28:20,900 --> 00:28:23,135 - Well lots of things really. 456 00:28:23,135 --> 00:28:25,805 But the first question I'd have to ask, 457 00:28:25,805 --> 00:28:28,574 is who are you talking about? 458 00:28:28,574 --> 00:28:30,109 - Me. 459 00:28:30,109 --> 00:28:34,380 - Ok, then what kind of woman are you talking about? 460 00:28:34,380 --> 00:28:36,849 - I don't know, woman with style. 461 00:28:36,849 --> 00:28:39,318 - What kind of style? 462 00:28:39,318 --> 00:28:43,255 - I don't know, someone tall, blonde, nice legs. 463 00:28:44,556 --> 00:28:47,426 - Max, you're not looking for style, 464 00:28:47,426 --> 00:28:49,361 sounds like you want a trophy. 465 00:28:49,361 --> 00:28:51,697 - What's wrong with setting my standards high? 466 00:28:51,697 --> 00:28:54,433 - Well nothing's wrong with it, it's just shallow. 467 00:28:54,433 --> 00:28:57,937 I mean there's more to a woman than style. 468 00:28:57,937 --> 00:28:59,471 - Like what? 469 00:28:59,471 --> 00:29:04,476 - Like communication, love, respect, compassion, 470 00:29:04,543 --> 00:29:07,546 being able to care for somebody for who they are, 471 00:29:07,546 --> 00:29:09,548 not what they look like. 472 00:29:09,548 --> 00:29:12,351 - Can't I find those qualities in a good looking woman? 473 00:29:12,351 --> 00:29:14,486 - Max who are you? 474 00:29:14,486 --> 00:29:16,088 - What do you mean? 475 00:29:16,088 --> 00:29:19,091 - It sounds like you need to remember who you are. 476 00:29:19,091 --> 00:29:23,662 I mean are those really the qualities you're looking for? 477 00:29:27,934 --> 00:29:31,170 - Max, she's not your type. 478 00:29:31,170 --> 00:29:34,173 They're all virgins! Come on bro! 479 00:29:34,173 --> 00:29:36,442 Get in the car, get in the car. 480 00:29:36,442 --> 00:29:38,477 Max, max, max. 481 00:29:38,477 --> 00:29:40,746 Get in the car, come on! 482 00:29:40,746 --> 00:29:44,951 Get in the car, get in the car. 483 00:29:44,951 --> 00:29:47,854 - Look I'm, I'm sorry about my rude friend. 484 00:29:47,854 --> 00:29:48,720 - Yeah sure. 485 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:50,489 - It was nice walking with ya. 486 00:29:50,489 --> 00:29:52,624 That's my ride. 487 00:29:59,165 --> 00:30:00,499 - Yes! 488 00:30:06,605 --> 00:30:10,176 - I like you, you're like a six, seven. 489 00:30:10,176 --> 00:30:11,210 - A seven?! 490 00:30:11,210 --> 00:30:12,979 - But you're like an eight. 491 00:30:12,979 --> 00:30:14,914 You know what, you're like a 7.5 though, 492 00:30:14,914 --> 00:30:16,482 you know what I mean? You're coming up. 493 00:30:20,887 --> 00:30:22,288 I would wanna make out with you 494 00:30:22,288 --> 00:30:23,923 but feel your boobs. 495 00:30:23,923 --> 00:30:25,391 - Oh wow. 496 00:30:25,391 --> 00:30:28,127 - But I, but I, you know I wanna feel your boobs too. 497 00:30:28,127 --> 00:30:29,661 I like -- 498 00:30:29,896 --> 00:30:31,230 - I'm gonna get out here. 499 00:30:31,230 --> 00:30:33,599 - What? What are you doing? 500 00:30:34,533 --> 00:30:36,368 Max come on! 501 00:30:36,368 --> 00:30:39,405 - You're gonna go home and jerk off? Dude come on! 502 00:30:39,405 --> 00:30:41,073 Not cool dude. 503 00:30:41,173 --> 00:30:43,842 I'm gonna pick up your slack. 504 00:30:58,724 --> 00:31:00,126 - Hey Cecil. 505 00:31:12,038 --> 00:31:14,706 Hey buddy, I love you too. 506 00:31:30,456 --> 00:31:32,658 Good morning Allison. 507 00:31:32,658 --> 00:31:34,026 - Hey. 508 00:31:34,826 --> 00:31:37,329 So how's the trophy hunt going? 509 00:31:38,097 --> 00:31:39,731 - Ah, it's... 510 00:31:41,467 --> 00:31:44,036 - What can I get for you Max? 511 00:31:44,036 --> 00:31:47,173 - A large Americano like I always get. 512 00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:51,043 - Hold on a second, could I have a large black coffee please? 513 00:31:51,043 --> 00:31:53,245 - Yeah sure. 514 00:31:55,014 --> 00:31:58,850 - Ah, you know what? I gotta go, see you later. 515 00:32:01,220 --> 00:32:02,288 Three dollars. 516 00:32:03,455 --> 00:32:05,424 Ambitious Marketing, please hold. 517 00:32:09,996 --> 00:32:11,397 Ambitious Marketing please hold. 518 00:32:12,498 --> 00:32:14,000 Hello? 519 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,202 - Good morning Mr.Gonzalez, yes I'm doing a credit check 520 00:32:16,202 --> 00:32:17,903 on your background and I wanted to know 521 00:32:17,903 --> 00:32:19,471 if you could read me your numbers? 522 00:32:19,471 --> 00:32:21,673 I hate telemarketers too, it was just a malfunction 523 00:32:21,673 --> 00:32:23,242 in the system and I apologize. 524 00:32:23,242 --> 00:32:25,444 We can't figure out whether you have one or two lines 525 00:32:25,444 --> 00:32:26,712 in your home. 526 00:32:26,712 --> 00:32:28,114 Is there a better time that I can reach you? 527 00:32:28,114 --> 00:32:30,249 I'm just too busy right now, sorry. 528 00:32:30,249 --> 00:32:31,583 You guys call me everyday 529 00:32:31,583 --> 00:32:33,052 at the same fucking time. 530 00:32:33,052 --> 00:32:35,321 - Can I ask you a question, how did you get this number? 531 00:32:35,321 --> 00:32:38,290 It's called star 69 jerk off. 532 00:32:40,126 --> 00:32:44,030 - Ms.Lopez, can you screen the calls next time? 533 00:32:44,030 --> 00:32:45,497 Thank you. 534 00:32:49,601 --> 00:32:50,869 - It just doesn't make sense. 535 00:32:50,869 --> 00:32:52,871 We had burritos three days in a row. 536 00:32:52,871 --> 00:32:55,307 You gotta switch it up it's not good for the system, 537 00:32:55,307 --> 00:32:56,575 I'm telling you. 538 00:32:56,575 --> 00:32:58,044 - But the burritos, they'er good burritos. 539 00:32:58,044 --> 00:32:59,778 They have really good burritos there. 540 00:32:59,778 --> 00:33:02,714 - No no maybe he's right, let's switch it up, I agree. 541 00:33:02,714 --> 00:33:07,419 So, Chinese, Thai food, Italian, what do --? 542 00:33:07,419 --> 00:33:09,321 - Max, how about that soul food spot I was telling you about? 543 00:33:09,321 --> 00:33:11,090 Let's go there. 544 00:33:11,090 --> 00:33:12,824 Yeah? - Yes, yes. 545 00:33:12,824 --> 00:33:14,226 - Let's do the soul food spot today. 546 00:33:14,226 --> 00:33:15,794 - Good, there's a decision, good. 547 00:33:15,794 --> 00:33:17,529 Let's go. 548 00:33:17,529 --> 00:33:18,897 - Alright. 549 00:33:18,897 --> 00:33:20,799 - Hey guys I'm just gonna stay here and work. 550 00:33:22,468 --> 00:33:24,236 Something I gotta do. 551 00:33:24,236 --> 00:33:26,372 Really? 552 00:33:27,939 --> 00:33:30,242 - I know, we'll bring you back a to go tray. 553 00:33:30,242 --> 00:33:34,146 - Yeah, it's alright Max, we'll pack you a doggie bag. 554 00:33:34,146 --> 00:33:36,882 Enjoy your work man. 555 00:33:38,350 --> 00:33:40,319 Alright man. 556 00:33:52,531 --> 00:33:54,966 - Thank you Allison. - You're welcome. 557 00:33:54,966 --> 00:33:57,203 - Made you lunch. 558 00:33:58,604 --> 00:34:01,573 Would you like PB and J? 559 00:34:01,573 --> 00:34:04,110 - Yeah. - Good. 560 00:34:06,745 --> 00:34:08,914 Do you have a boyfriend? 561 00:34:09,815 --> 00:34:13,485 - Well I don't have a boyfriend, but I am in love. 562 00:34:15,287 --> 00:34:17,489 With my art. 563 00:34:19,425 --> 00:34:21,893 - Must be good to do something you love. 564 00:34:21,893 --> 00:34:24,430 - Well yeah, you do what you love right? 565 00:34:24,430 --> 00:34:26,432 I mean you just got that promotion. 566 00:34:26,432 --> 00:34:28,500 - Yeah I mean there's certain things at the office 567 00:34:28,500 --> 00:34:30,602 that I just don't agree with morally 568 00:34:30,602 --> 00:34:33,172 and I thought the more that I work, 569 00:34:33,172 --> 00:34:35,441 the more I climb the corporate ladder, 570 00:34:35,441 --> 00:34:38,744 that I'd be happy. 571 00:34:39,645 --> 00:34:41,046 I'm not. 572 00:34:41,046 --> 00:34:43,182 - Well you gotta do what you love, 573 00:34:43,182 --> 00:34:45,684 and certainly something you believe in. 574 00:34:45,684 --> 00:34:47,786 I mean that's what matters Max. 575 00:34:47,786 --> 00:34:50,656 That's what's gonna make you happy. 576 00:34:51,957 --> 00:34:54,059 - Why don't you tell me about something that you love. 577 00:34:54,059 --> 00:34:55,461 Tell me about your art. 578 00:34:55,461 --> 00:34:57,396 - Well you're gonna see it Saturday. 579 00:34:57,396 --> 00:34:58,697 - Yeah. 580 00:35:06,572 --> 00:35:08,174 - You smell that? 581 00:35:08,174 --> 00:35:10,075 It smells like sex. 582 00:35:19,618 --> 00:35:21,287 - Hey guys what can I get for you? 583 00:35:21,287 --> 00:35:23,322 Two drafts please. 584 00:35:23,322 --> 00:35:25,090 - Coming right up. 585 00:35:28,860 --> 00:35:31,230 - No I got it, I got it, I got it. 586 00:35:31,963 --> 00:35:33,565 Nope I don't got it. 587 00:35:33,565 --> 00:35:35,634 - No you don't got it. 588 00:35:35,634 --> 00:35:37,436 - Here you go. 589 00:35:37,436 --> 00:35:39,571 19 dollars. 590 00:35:39,938 --> 00:35:41,673 - Thank you. 591 00:35:41,673 --> 00:35:43,209 - Thanks guys. 592 00:35:43,209 --> 00:35:46,044 - You know bro, I told him, "Listen, don't come to me 593 00:35:46,044 --> 00:35:48,747 anymore, right?" 594 00:35:51,717 --> 00:35:54,453 - Hey MB, check out Deaner. 595 00:35:58,056 --> 00:36:01,126 Ooo, this should be fun. 596 00:36:02,561 --> 00:36:05,130 - It's not like he's doing anything. 597 00:36:09,768 --> 00:36:11,036 Never mind. 598 00:36:11,036 --> 00:36:12,438 Yeah he's practically giving her the 599 00:36:12,438 --> 00:36:14,540 right there on the dance floor bro. 600 00:36:14,540 --> 00:36:17,276 You think we should jump in and help him or -- 601 00:36:17,276 --> 00:36:20,111 - What are we gonna do, huh? 602 00:36:31,423 --> 00:36:33,859 - What are you thinkin' curly? 603 00:36:34,626 --> 00:36:37,429 I asked you a question, what are you thinkin'? 604 00:36:37,429 --> 00:36:39,298 - This songs real funky. 605 00:36:39,298 --> 00:36:42,334 - This song's funky huh? This song is funky. 606 00:36:42,334 --> 00:36:46,037 You know what else is funky? Check this out. 607 00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:51,477 - Karma's a bitch. 608 00:36:56,648 --> 00:36:58,284 How's your face? 609 00:36:58,284 --> 00:37:00,185 - It hurts. 610 00:37:00,185 --> 00:37:01,853 - Does it hurt as bad as your best friend 611 00:37:01,853 --> 00:37:04,656 ripping into you in front of a room of complete strangers 612 00:37:04,656 --> 00:37:06,592 and colleagues? 613 00:37:06,592 --> 00:37:09,428 - No, it just stings a lot. 614 00:37:09,428 --> 00:37:11,530 Are you even my friend? 615 00:37:11,530 --> 00:37:12,898 - Are you my friend? 616 00:37:12,898 --> 00:37:15,901 You left me hanging dude, I was bitch slapped. 617 00:37:19,971 --> 00:37:23,709 - Where are the girls? Hot model looking girls? 618 00:37:23,709 --> 00:37:24,910 Where are they? 619 00:37:24,910 --> 00:37:26,412 - Dude, any of us could date models. 620 00:37:26,412 --> 00:37:27,846 We can date supermodels. 621 00:37:27,846 --> 00:37:30,048 - Yeah man, anybody can date a supermodel. 622 00:37:30,048 --> 00:37:34,353 I choose to be single, I can get a date like that if I want. 623 00:37:34,353 --> 00:37:36,221 - I saw your game. 624 00:37:36,221 --> 00:37:39,325 The girl from the record shop, the screamer. 625 00:37:39,325 --> 00:37:41,393 - The infamous screamer. 626 00:37:41,393 --> 00:37:44,229 - Dude she was fine dude, what are guys talking about? 627 00:37:44,229 --> 00:37:46,865 - Yeah she was fine but the only way that you picker her up 628 00:37:46,865 --> 00:37:50,035 was that you made my apartment your apartment. 629 00:37:50,035 --> 00:37:53,138 I made I gave you a taste of the executive life. 630 00:37:53,138 --> 00:37:56,342 - Bro, just because you got cushy job, 631 00:37:56,342 --> 00:37:59,545 don't think you could start pulling ass like me, alright? 632 00:37:59,545 --> 00:38:00,879 Gotta have game. 633 00:38:00,879 --> 00:38:02,714 - Ok but I should be able to get more girls 634 00:38:02,714 --> 00:38:04,683 than the mail guy. 635 00:38:04,683 --> 00:38:08,920 - Whoa, do you know how many envelopes I lick everyday? 636 00:38:09,388 --> 00:38:10,722 This, 637 00:38:12,758 --> 00:38:14,125 it's strong. 638 00:38:14,125 --> 00:38:16,362 - Would you like more Sake? 639 00:38:16,362 --> 00:38:19,931 - Yes, just two large Sakes, thank you. 640 00:38:21,367 --> 00:38:23,369 - Just saying it's strong. 641 00:38:23,369 --> 00:38:27,506 I know that if you got a girl, I could get a hotter one. 642 00:38:27,506 --> 00:38:29,641 Guaranteed. 643 00:38:30,476 --> 00:38:32,944 - Sounds like a challenge. 644 00:38:32,944 --> 00:38:34,646 - I bet this dinner on it. 645 00:38:34,646 --> 00:38:36,181 - Dude I can pay for this dinner, 646 00:38:36,181 --> 00:38:37,883 you can do better than that. 647 00:38:39,150 --> 00:38:42,854 - Alright, I bet you a weeks worth of dinner 648 00:38:42,854 --> 00:38:46,825 plus VIP bottle service at whatever club of your choice 649 00:38:46,825 --> 00:38:50,496 on a Friday night, that says that I can get a hotter girl. 650 00:38:50,496 --> 00:38:53,198 - Alright, I'll wear a dress for a week. 651 00:38:53,198 --> 00:38:55,401 - I'll buy you a new TV, plasma. 652 00:38:55,401 --> 00:38:59,438 - I'll run through two malls, naked. 653 00:39:00,739 --> 00:39:03,409 - I mean what do you have that's like tangible. 654 00:39:03,409 --> 00:39:06,412 Do you have anything of any value to put on the table? 655 00:39:06,412 --> 00:39:07,646 Anything. 656 00:39:07,646 --> 00:39:09,415 - Service. 657 00:39:10,582 --> 00:39:12,418 Clean, I'm a good cleaner. 658 00:39:12,418 --> 00:39:14,285 I'll clean your place for a year. 659 00:39:14,285 --> 00:39:15,854 In a bunny suit. 660 00:39:15,854 --> 00:39:17,656 - In a bunny suit. 661 00:39:19,991 --> 00:39:21,192 - Ok. 662 00:39:24,229 --> 00:39:25,997 I'll tell you what. 663 00:39:27,633 --> 00:39:32,638 I'm so confident that I will put my car on the table 664 00:39:35,474 --> 00:39:39,044 that says that I get a hotter girl than you. 665 00:39:39,044 --> 00:39:41,980 - That is an automobile on the table. 666 00:39:46,151 --> 00:39:47,018 - Do we have a deal? 667 00:39:47,018 --> 00:39:48,186 - We have a deal. 668 00:39:48,186 --> 00:39:49,455 - Tom. 669 00:39:49,455 --> 00:39:50,556 - You're judging. 670 00:39:50,556 --> 00:39:51,990 - You got it. 671 00:39:51,990 --> 00:39:56,995 - Tongue kissing a hotter girl, next Saturday. 672 00:39:57,062 --> 00:39:58,497 - You're on my friend. 673 00:39:58,497 --> 00:39:59,665 - Good luck. 674 00:39:59,665 --> 00:40:01,299 - Luck. 675 00:40:01,299 --> 00:40:02,634 - No good luck. 676 00:40:02,634 --> 00:40:05,837 - No good luck. - To you. 677 00:40:05,837 --> 00:40:08,306 - Cheers fellas. 678 00:40:09,107 --> 00:40:10,909 - What do you say when you --? 679 00:40:10,909 --> 00:40:11,910 - Oh kampai. 680 00:40:11,910 --> 00:40:13,344 - Kampai. - Kampai. 681 00:40:13,779 --> 00:40:15,847 Can't lose. 682 00:40:23,722 --> 00:40:24,856 Hello? 683 00:40:24,856 --> 00:40:27,158 - Yes hello, is Andrea there please? 684 00:40:27,158 --> 00:40:27,959 She's not here right now, 685 00:40:27,959 --> 00:40:28,827 may I take a message? 686 00:40:28,827 --> 00:40:30,395 - Yes, it's Max Burns. 687 00:40:30,395 --> 00:40:31,963 Ok Max I'll let her know. 688 00:40:31,963 --> 00:40:33,298 - Yeah if you could have her call me back 689 00:40:33,298 --> 00:40:34,466 that would be great. 690 00:40:34,466 --> 00:40:35,567 Ok Max I'll let her know. 691 00:40:35,567 --> 00:40:36,935 - Thank you. - Bye. 692 00:40:37,703 --> 00:40:39,170 Well that worked. 693 00:40:39,170 --> 00:40:40,405 Hello this is Beth. 694 00:40:40,405 --> 00:40:42,808 - Hi Beth? Hello? 695 00:40:42,808 --> 00:40:43,842 Hello. 696 00:40:43,842 --> 00:40:44,810 Hello? 697 00:40:44,810 --> 00:40:45,977 Hi is Cami, there? 698 00:40:45,977 --> 00:40:48,313 Hi is Sabrina there please? 699 00:40:49,681 --> 00:40:50,882 Hi is Tania there? 700 00:40:50,882 --> 00:40:52,050 May I ask who's calling? 701 00:40:52,050 --> 00:40:53,585 - Hi is Mary there? 702 00:40:53,585 --> 00:40:55,554 Hi it's Max Burns for Candice. 703 00:40:55,554 --> 00:40:57,355 Hi Rebecca it's Max -- 704 00:40:57,355 --> 00:41:02,027 Whenever you have a chance can you bring Max back, 705 00:41:02,027 --> 00:41:04,362 Max Burns, I think you remember me. 706 00:41:04,362 --> 00:41:06,532 Anyway, I wanted to know if you had plans 707 00:41:06,532 --> 00:41:09,400 on Saturday night, alright, thanks. 708 00:42:08,459 --> 00:42:09,595 Hello? 709 00:42:09,595 --> 00:42:12,698 - Hi, I am returning a call for Max. 710 00:42:12,698 --> 00:42:14,666 - Andrea, how you doing? 711 00:42:14,666 --> 00:42:18,704 - Oh hey, hi there you. 712 00:42:18,704 --> 00:42:20,371 So what's going on? 713 00:42:20,371 --> 00:42:23,709 - I was just wondering if you had any plans 714 00:42:23,709 --> 00:42:25,644 on Saturday night? 715 00:42:25,644 --> 00:42:28,714 A bunch of friends and I are going to a karaoke club. 716 00:42:28,714 --> 00:42:31,817 I just wanted to know if you were available? 717 00:42:34,119 --> 00:42:35,453 Can you hold on a minute? 718 00:42:35,453 --> 00:42:37,689 Yeah sure I'll hold. 719 00:43:14,660 --> 00:43:16,527 - Who are you talking to? 720 00:43:18,196 --> 00:43:20,198 - I'm on hold with Andrea. 721 00:43:20,198 --> 00:43:22,267 - You're on hold? - Yeah. 722 00:43:23,935 --> 00:43:26,938 - No dude, give me the phone, give me the phone. 723 00:43:26,938 --> 00:43:31,476 - No, no, no, no, no. 724 00:43:31,476 --> 00:43:35,681 Ow Jesus, you guys are jerks. 725 00:43:35,681 --> 00:43:38,549 - She wasn't coming back from putting you on hold. 726 00:43:38,549 --> 00:43:40,218 - Why not? 727 00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:44,155 - Because she was fucking somebody. 728 00:43:44,155 --> 00:43:47,058 Girls love to put guys on hold and go have sex, 729 00:43:47,058 --> 00:43:48,894 they get off. 730 00:43:48,894 --> 00:43:51,162 - You have to screen the call and make her wait 731 00:43:51,162 --> 00:43:52,597 to talk to you. 732 00:43:52,597 --> 00:43:54,165 When she calls, you're busy. 733 00:43:55,500 --> 00:43:56,735 - Why? 734 00:43:57,368 --> 00:44:00,138 - Why do you think I go to clubs with girls? 735 00:44:01,606 --> 00:44:03,408 - I don't know you tell me. 736 00:44:03,408 --> 00:44:05,243 - Because when you bring a girl 737 00:44:05,243 --> 00:44:07,378 it shows the others that this girl is already interested 738 00:44:07,378 --> 00:44:09,080 in me, and human nature is to want 739 00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:11,516 what you do not have. 740 00:44:13,719 --> 00:44:14,953 - Why? 741 00:44:14,953 --> 00:44:17,388 - I don't know, that's just the way it is. 742 00:44:17,388 --> 00:44:20,525 - Bro did you find a way to get rid of that dog yet? 743 00:44:22,260 --> 00:44:23,829 - Dude he's right there. 744 00:44:23,829 --> 00:44:25,764 Well he can't understand you. 745 00:44:25,764 --> 00:44:27,966 - Could we just talk about this in the car? 746 00:44:27,966 --> 00:44:29,034 - Are you scared? 747 00:44:29,034 --> 00:44:31,502 He can smell fear, look. 748 00:44:32,738 --> 00:44:34,305 Look, you're just his little bitch. 749 00:44:40,311 --> 00:44:41,747 - Ok guys. 750 00:44:41,747 --> 00:44:43,581 So, 751 00:44:43,581 --> 00:44:46,051 yes or no questions. 752 00:44:46,051 --> 00:44:47,753 Five pennies. 753 00:44:48,954 --> 00:44:51,589 Do you smell anything? 754 00:44:52,223 --> 00:44:54,425 - Nope don't smell anything. 755 00:44:56,061 --> 00:44:58,196 - That is a cent. 756 00:45:01,299 --> 00:45:03,969 - See any fruit? 757 00:45:05,170 --> 00:45:06,137 - No. - No. 758 00:45:06,137 --> 00:45:08,506 - That is a pair. 759 00:45:11,009 --> 00:45:13,644 See any snakes? 760 00:45:14,012 --> 00:45:15,180 - No. 761 00:45:15,180 --> 00:45:18,116 - There are three copper heads. 762 00:45:18,649 --> 00:45:21,152 - See any cars? 763 00:45:26,024 --> 00:45:28,226 - That is four Lincolns. 764 00:45:30,796 --> 00:45:33,064 - She's good. 765 00:45:34,399 --> 00:45:36,802 - See any pussy? 766 00:45:36,802 --> 00:45:38,603 Nope. 767 00:45:38,904 --> 00:45:40,471 Yeah. 768 00:45:40,471 --> 00:45:43,942 - And you won't if you only have five cents. 769 00:45:46,945 --> 00:45:48,379 - Good one. 770 00:45:48,379 --> 00:45:51,582 - How about three draft beers please? 771 00:45:51,582 --> 00:45:54,552 - Three beers 15 dollars. 772 00:45:56,154 --> 00:45:57,823 Tips for the joke. 773 00:45:57,823 --> 00:46:00,658 Oh thanks, enjoy. 774 00:46:01,326 --> 00:46:03,528 - To the chase. 775 00:46:03,528 --> 00:46:06,064 To ginseng and candle wax. 776 00:46:06,064 --> 00:46:08,466 - What's the ginseng for? 777 00:46:09,134 --> 00:46:11,302 - It keeps you hard. 778 00:46:11,302 --> 00:46:13,839 - And the candle wax. 779 00:46:14,372 --> 00:46:16,842 - For the nickles. 780 00:46:28,186 --> 00:46:30,989 Hey last call. 781 00:46:42,934 --> 00:46:45,937 - Hi, I'm Max. 782 00:46:45,937 --> 00:46:47,873 - Kelly. 783 00:46:47,873 --> 00:46:49,875 - Anybody ever tell you you have nice eyes? 784 00:46:49,875 --> 00:46:51,442 - Oh thanks. 785 00:46:53,011 --> 00:46:55,146 - Can I buy you a drink? 786 00:46:55,146 --> 00:46:57,883 - Why don't we just get outta here? 787 00:46:58,884 --> 00:47:00,318 - Ok. 788 00:47:08,326 --> 00:47:09,760 Do you like Monopoly? 789 00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:12,063 Yes, I do. 790 00:47:17,035 --> 00:47:18,937 - Are you sure you can't get pregnant? 791 00:47:18,937 --> 00:47:21,907 - No, no I'm on the pill. 792 00:47:23,208 --> 00:47:25,977 - You sure we still shouldn't use something? 793 00:47:25,977 --> 00:47:27,778 - I don't have any STDs. 794 00:47:27,778 --> 00:47:30,949 - I don't either, shouldn't we just be safe? 795 00:47:30,949 --> 00:47:34,819 - Look, if I have something you already have it. 796 00:47:34,819 --> 00:47:36,554 So don't worry. 797 00:47:36,554 --> 00:47:37,923 - Ok. 798 00:47:51,802 --> 00:47:54,039 - What's wrong? 799 00:47:54,605 --> 00:47:56,541 Is that all you got? 800 00:47:56,541 --> 00:47:58,676 - I just, I have a headache. 801 00:47:58,676 --> 00:48:01,479 I have to wake up early in the morning. 802 00:48:01,479 --> 00:48:04,215 - Do you have any aspirin? 803 00:48:04,215 --> 00:48:06,384 - I don't think so. 804 00:48:12,958 --> 00:48:16,461 I should probably drive you home and get some on the way. 805 00:48:17,128 --> 00:48:18,396 - Are you sure? 806 00:48:18,396 --> 00:48:21,232 - Yeah I'm sure, I should just go. 807 00:48:22,500 --> 00:48:25,770 - And you said I had beautiful eyes. 808 00:48:30,775 --> 00:48:34,545 So you're taking me out Saturday night right? 809 00:48:39,384 --> 00:48:40,986 Saturday night right? 810 00:48:40,986 --> 00:48:42,387 - No! 811 00:48:54,665 --> 00:48:58,703 Go pee, come on, go pee, go on. 812 00:49:02,007 --> 00:49:03,241 Come on. 813 00:49:04,709 --> 00:49:06,277 Good boy. 814 00:49:07,645 --> 00:49:12,450 Ah Christ! Ah! 815 00:49:14,019 --> 00:49:16,454 Cecil come on. 816 00:49:40,711 --> 00:49:44,449 - No no move, move, just issue that. 817 00:49:47,652 --> 00:49:49,520 Get that please Janette. 818 00:49:49,520 --> 00:49:51,722 Double it, double it. 819 00:49:51,722 --> 00:49:55,360 No no move move, just, issue that! 820 00:49:55,360 --> 00:49:57,128 Carolina I swear -- yeah? 821 00:49:57,128 --> 00:50:00,298 Oh look the una-bomber came to pick up his psyche meds. 822 00:50:00,298 --> 00:50:04,435 Oh there you are, what can I do you for? 823 00:50:04,435 --> 00:50:08,773 Janette get the -- phone! Yes. 824 00:50:08,773 --> 00:50:11,042 - I have an itch. 825 00:50:11,609 --> 00:50:14,845 - And I've got a marriage that's going down the crapper. 826 00:50:14,845 --> 00:50:17,148 Can you help me? 827 00:50:17,548 --> 00:50:19,684 - No. 828 00:50:19,684 --> 00:50:22,753 - Aisle six, lotions, sav's, eye drops, 829 00:50:22,753 --> 00:50:25,723 depending where your itch is located. 830 00:50:27,725 --> 00:50:30,395 - I was kind of hoping I could keep it private. 831 00:50:30,395 --> 00:50:34,099 - Oh oh I'm so sorry, go ahead yeah. 832 00:50:34,099 --> 00:50:36,000 - You know when you have head lice? 833 00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:37,235 - Right. 834 00:50:37,235 --> 00:50:40,071 Well I think I have some friends 835 00:50:40,071 --> 00:50:41,739 swimming around downstairs. 836 00:50:41,739 --> 00:50:46,144 Ok, oh I see, it sounds like you might have 837 00:50:46,144 --> 00:50:49,314 a case of genital crabs. 838 00:50:55,820 --> 00:50:59,924 Once again, aisle six, there's a shampoo 839 00:50:59,924 --> 00:51:03,528 in a purple bottle, purple. 840 00:51:03,528 --> 00:51:07,232 Lather it up real good, real good 841 00:51:07,232 --> 00:51:10,368 and maybe your friends will go away. 842 00:51:10,368 --> 00:51:15,373 Also, you can always shave your pubes. 843 00:51:16,907 --> 00:51:20,645 Then maybe your friends won't have a place to hide. 844 00:51:22,947 --> 00:51:26,784 Janette would you get the GD phone! 845 00:51:27,152 --> 00:51:29,887 Thank you, next. 846 00:51:34,325 --> 00:51:37,595 Oh hi Mrs.Doobcheck, how your psoriasis? 847 00:51:37,595 --> 00:51:39,230 - Not very well I'm afraid. 848 00:51:39,230 --> 00:51:40,998 - I'm sorry to hear that. 849 00:51:40,998 --> 00:51:43,434 At least you don't have what the last guy had. 850 00:51:43,434 --> 00:51:44,702 And what's that? 851 00:51:44,702 --> 00:51:48,639 - Crabs, on his vagina. 852 00:51:48,639 --> 00:51:50,175 - Oh. 853 00:51:50,175 --> 00:51:52,843 - I'll get your prescription. 854 00:52:25,676 --> 00:52:27,212 - Hello. 855 00:52:31,949 --> 00:52:36,487 I am a Russian male order, 26 year old. 856 00:52:36,487 --> 00:52:39,123 - Dean, what are you doing? 857 00:52:39,123 --> 00:52:40,758 Bro she's hot. 858 00:52:40,758 --> 00:52:44,094 - Not on my computer she's not, out, get out. 859 00:52:44,094 --> 00:52:46,697 Dean every time you do this Mr.Koster's assistant 860 00:52:46,697 --> 00:52:48,733 comes down says "Hey you know we're monitoring 861 00:52:48,733 --> 00:52:50,968 "your internet activity on your computer right?" 862 00:52:50,968 --> 00:52:52,737 You're gonna get fired for doing that, right? 863 00:52:52,737 --> 00:52:54,505 - I'm sorry, I'm sorry, fat woman. 864 00:52:54,505 --> 00:52:57,842 - No, out now, go. 865 00:53:02,780 --> 00:53:05,483 Damn, you're 26... 866 00:53:17,862 --> 00:53:22,867 - Excuse me, do you have any change for a 20? 867 00:53:23,701 --> 00:53:26,737 I gotta pay my meter. 868 00:53:31,542 --> 00:53:35,480 Oh this is a 300, because it kinda looks like my Phantom, 869 00:53:35,480 --> 00:53:39,083 you wanna kick it, Saturday? 870 00:53:40,818 --> 00:53:43,654 Don't wanna go out? Fine. 871 00:54:09,314 --> 00:54:13,318 - Hi, hi I'm Max, how you doing? 872 00:54:13,318 --> 00:54:14,619 I, I wanted to know if... 873 00:54:14,619 --> 00:54:15,853 Hey. 874 00:54:19,557 --> 00:54:22,493 Hi, I'm Max. 875 00:54:24,729 --> 00:54:26,230 - I was gonna go to a movie with some friends 876 00:54:26,230 --> 00:54:28,666 but nothing's definite, what are you doing? 877 00:54:28,666 --> 00:54:33,638 - Actually I'm going to a karaoke bar, do you wanna -- 878 00:54:33,638 --> 00:54:36,073 She's 17. 879 00:54:40,077 --> 00:54:41,579 - Hello. 880 00:54:47,184 --> 00:54:48,353 - Are you on your lunch break? 881 00:54:48,353 --> 00:54:51,522 - Actually I'm a lesbian, I'm sorry. 882 00:54:52,457 --> 00:54:55,259 - I'm cool with that. 883 00:55:03,368 --> 00:55:05,202 What's up? 884 00:55:05,703 --> 00:55:07,505 - What is? 885 00:55:08,939 --> 00:55:12,877 - So how's the ganja job treatin' ya? 886 00:55:12,877 --> 00:55:14,244 - Good. 887 00:55:15,446 --> 00:55:16,947 - Hey I know you don't have any trouble 888 00:55:16,947 --> 00:55:20,851 picking up the ladies but how do I get a hot chick? 889 00:55:22,219 --> 00:55:24,522 - It just comes natural, you know. 890 00:55:24,522 --> 00:55:27,925 It's who you are, you know. 891 00:55:33,998 --> 00:55:35,800 If you really want female advice, 892 00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:37,902 why don't you ask your sister? 893 00:55:38,703 --> 00:55:40,905 - Alright, thanks. 894 00:55:40,905 --> 00:55:42,306 See ya. 895 00:55:55,019 --> 00:55:59,690 - Wow, there's a face I don't get to see too often. 896 00:55:59,690 --> 00:56:01,191 How are you? 897 00:56:01,191 --> 00:56:02,960 - Good good. 898 00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:05,095 Busy working my ass off. 899 00:56:05,095 --> 00:56:07,131 - I know, so have we. 900 00:56:07,131 --> 00:56:10,435 - Yeah well my hard work is paying off, I got a promotion. 901 00:56:10,435 --> 00:56:12,670 - Oh my gosh, congratulations. 902 00:56:12,670 --> 00:56:14,439 Mom must be so proud. 903 00:56:14,439 --> 00:56:16,907 - I haven't told her yet. 904 00:56:16,907 --> 00:56:19,777 I'm waiting for my raise to kick in. 905 00:56:19,777 --> 00:56:22,947 - So what pleasure do I owe this visit? 906 00:56:24,048 --> 00:56:26,717 - I wanted to ask your advice. 907 00:56:26,717 --> 00:56:28,819 - Ok, shoot. 908 00:56:29,887 --> 00:56:32,857 - What attracted you to Joe? 909 00:56:34,158 --> 00:56:38,496 - Oh, you know, it's what we call 910 00:56:38,496 --> 00:56:41,165 a contest of generosities. 911 00:56:41,165 --> 00:56:44,869 You see when we first met, he was actually really closed off 912 00:56:44,869 --> 00:56:48,205 about his past and had a really hard time opening up 913 00:56:48,205 --> 00:56:50,775 and then one day he just 914 00:56:50,775 --> 00:56:55,012 opened up and shared his life story, his dreams, 915 00:56:55,012 --> 00:56:59,316 his fears, he cried in front of me, 916 00:57:01,051 --> 00:57:03,153 and, but you know what, he really just showed me 917 00:57:03,153 --> 00:57:07,625 who he was and gave me so much of himself 918 00:57:07,625 --> 00:57:10,260 and you know when I think about it, 919 00:57:10,260 --> 00:57:13,230 that really has what made us stay together 920 00:57:13,230 --> 00:57:16,534 because we're continuing to always give to one another 921 00:57:16,534 --> 00:57:18,302 without expectation. 922 00:57:18,302 --> 00:57:22,239 So, that's all I've got. 923 00:57:22,239 --> 00:57:25,510 - It's great, thanks, see ya. 924 00:57:25,510 --> 00:57:26,777 - Oh great to see you. 925 00:57:26,777 --> 00:57:28,546 Thanks for coming by. 926 00:57:28,546 --> 00:57:31,281 - Yeah, see you soon. - I hope so. 927 00:57:43,393 --> 00:57:48,365 - Unlucky in love, lucky in war. 928 00:57:50,434 --> 00:57:55,305 - For you it's unlucky in love and in war. 929 00:57:56,707 --> 00:58:00,077 Who you taking out Saturday? 930 00:58:00,077 --> 00:58:03,047 - Called your mom, but she was busy. 931 00:58:03,047 --> 00:58:05,783 - Original, original. 932 00:58:05,783 --> 00:58:08,452 - Thank you, I try. 933 00:58:08,452 --> 00:58:11,622 Everything happens for a reason. 934 00:58:12,422 --> 00:58:14,124 Check. 935 00:58:17,427 --> 00:58:19,163 - Why did that happen? 936 00:58:19,163 --> 00:58:21,699 - Ah 'cause you're a loser. 937 00:58:22,567 --> 00:58:23,768 - I'll clean it up. 938 00:58:23,768 --> 00:58:26,070 - Yeah, see you later. 939 00:58:26,070 --> 00:58:27,738 - Go work. 940 00:58:34,579 --> 00:58:36,246 - You may have heard the company has experienced 941 00:58:36,246 --> 00:58:39,183 a recent downfall in profits 942 00:58:39,183 --> 00:58:42,887 and so we're going to have to start downsizing immediately. 943 00:58:42,887 --> 00:58:46,957 I'm going to ask you to do the layoffs. 944 00:58:48,659 --> 00:58:50,227 - I can't fire these people. 945 00:58:50,227 --> 00:58:53,097 Up until a few days ago they were my colleagues. 946 00:58:57,802 --> 00:59:01,672 - Max, this is business for Christ sakes. 947 00:59:01,672 --> 00:59:04,609 You were promoted to take care of business. 948 00:59:04,609 --> 00:59:07,111 - Mrs.Lopez is relying on this job to put her daughter 949 00:59:07,111 --> 00:59:08,746 through college. 950 00:59:08,746 --> 00:59:11,115 Dean Keyhoe, not only is he my co-worker 951 00:59:11,115 --> 00:59:14,518 he's my friend and Mr.Wihitman, I thought he was my boss. 952 00:59:14,518 --> 00:59:15,920 - These people are all expendable. 953 00:59:15,920 --> 00:59:19,924 Now if you can't do this, then I'll get somebody 954 00:59:19,924 --> 00:59:21,992 else to do the job. 955 00:59:21,992 --> 00:59:23,628 Am I clear? 956 00:59:24,762 --> 00:59:26,631 - Crystal. 957 00:59:26,997 --> 00:59:29,499 - Thank you Max. 958 00:59:38,308 --> 00:59:40,277 - Bullshit. 959 01:00:18,649 --> 01:00:19,850 Hello? 960 01:00:19,850 --> 01:00:22,086 - Hi William? Yeah this is Max Burns over 961 01:00:22,086 --> 01:00:24,955 in the central district office in Los Angeles. 962 01:00:24,955 --> 01:00:26,390 How you doing? 963 01:00:26,390 --> 01:00:27,758 I'm doing alright Max, what's going on? 964 01:00:27,758 --> 01:00:31,328 - Yeah unfortunately I have some bad news. 965 01:00:31,328 --> 01:00:34,231 You know that our market results have been quite bad 966 01:00:34,231 --> 01:00:38,769 this year and we're doing a big wave of layoffs 967 01:00:38,769 --> 01:00:41,238 so I just wanted to give you a heads up, 968 01:00:41,238 --> 01:00:43,607 I'm sure the wave is coming your way. 969 01:00:43,607 --> 01:00:45,943 Thanks Max, that's really considerate of you. 970 01:00:45,943 --> 01:00:47,511 - You have yourself a good one, thanks. 971 01:00:47,511 --> 01:00:49,379 Take care. 972 01:00:53,884 --> 01:00:55,519 - Hey Max. 973 01:00:55,519 --> 01:00:57,621 - Cynthia, you've done such great things 974 01:00:57,621 --> 01:01:01,091 for the company, I'm sorry we're gonna have to let you go. 975 01:01:01,091 --> 01:01:02,326 - What? 976 01:01:02,326 --> 01:01:04,294 - So sorry. 977 01:01:06,030 --> 01:01:08,498 We have to let you go. 978 01:01:08,498 --> 01:01:10,735 - Fuck you Max. 979 01:01:11,736 --> 01:01:14,371 - Fired? 980 01:01:14,371 --> 01:01:17,842 - What? You can't fire me, I'm your boss. 981 01:01:19,509 --> 01:01:20,778 - I know that you're my boss sir 982 01:01:20,778 --> 01:01:23,113 and that you're my superior but -- 983 01:01:25,382 --> 01:01:27,818 It's ok, it's ok. 984 01:01:32,022 --> 01:01:36,360 Unfortunately, we're all expendable and -- 985 01:01:38,128 --> 01:01:39,964 - I don't get it, come on. 986 01:01:39,964 --> 01:01:42,232 - I understand that but... 987 01:01:42,232 --> 01:01:45,202 - What did I do wrong? 988 01:01:45,202 --> 01:01:48,072 - After all that hard work I did for you. 989 01:01:48,072 --> 01:01:50,507 I wish you'd, next time tell me earlier in the day 990 01:01:50,507 --> 01:01:53,778 so I wouldn't have gotten those reports done for you. 991 01:01:54,478 --> 01:01:56,781 - I've been here for six years. 992 01:01:56,781 --> 01:02:01,085 You know what? Screw you, screw this place. 993 01:02:25,242 --> 01:02:30,247 Hello? Hello? 994 01:02:46,831 --> 01:02:48,698 Hello? 995 01:02:58,708 --> 01:03:00,978 Mr.Koster? 996 01:03:01,678 --> 01:03:03,347 - Max. 997 01:03:04,982 --> 01:03:06,851 - Mr.Koster. 998 01:03:07,384 --> 01:03:09,854 - She cheated on me. 999 01:03:11,055 --> 01:03:13,723 She wanted a younger man. 1000 01:03:18,863 --> 01:03:21,465 I'm replaceable. 1001 01:03:31,675 --> 01:03:34,244 - I guess we all are. 1002 01:04:44,214 --> 01:04:45,715 - What's up Maxxy? 1003 01:04:45,715 --> 01:04:47,284 Hey. 1004 01:04:49,219 --> 01:04:51,421 - Dude who died? 1005 01:04:52,089 --> 01:04:54,091 - I wish I were. 1006 01:04:54,091 --> 01:04:55,425 - What's wrong? 1007 01:04:55,425 --> 01:04:58,028 - What's wrong? What's wrong? 1008 01:04:58,028 --> 01:05:01,598 What's right? Nothing. 1009 01:05:01,598 --> 01:05:06,603 Job, girls, I need to quit. 1010 01:05:06,670 --> 01:05:08,672 Just quit. 1011 01:05:08,672 --> 01:05:11,976 I think, I think I'll just quit. 1012 01:05:11,976 --> 01:05:14,744 - Whoa whoa whoa, you're gonna quit girls? 1013 01:05:14,744 --> 01:05:16,313 - No my job. 1014 01:05:16,313 --> 01:05:18,515 - Why we just had your promotion party last week? 1015 01:05:18,515 --> 01:05:23,520 - And apparently I was promoted to do my boss's dirty work. 1016 01:05:23,687 --> 01:05:25,122 - And? 1017 01:05:26,490 --> 01:05:28,825 - I can't do it. 1018 01:05:28,825 --> 01:05:30,260 I have to fire people. 1019 01:05:30,260 --> 01:05:33,763 I have to fire Dean, I can't do it. 1020 01:05:35,432 --> 01:05:37,734 - Dude, look at me. 1021 01:05:37,734 --> 01:05:40,404 I work three stupid jobs, alright? 1022 01:05:40,404 --> 01:05:42,306 I do what I gotta do. 1023 01:05:42,306 --> 01:05:45,875 You do what you gotta do, alright? 1024 01:05:47,077 --> 01:05:50,014 You want some help from me? 1025 01:05:51,281 --> 01:05:52,382 - Yeah. 1026 01:05:52,382 --> 01:05:54,018 - Give me a quarter. 1027 01:05:54,018 --> 01:05:54,851 - What for? 1028 01:05:54,851 --> 01:05:56,653 - For the payphone. 1029 01:05:57,254 --> 01:05:59,356 - Why don't you just use my phone? 1030 01:05:59,356 --> 01:06:01,225 - Thanks, and a quarter. 1031 01:06:01,225 --> 01:06:02,326 What for? 1032 01:06:02,326 --> 01:06:05,029 - For the payphone for later. 1033 01:06:05,695 --> 01:06:08,265 - Talk it's Deaner. - Dean. 1034 01:06:08,265 --> 01:06:10,567 It's Tom. - What's up Tommy? 1035 01:06:10,567 --> 01:06:13,370 - Hey hey, so I got good news and I got bad news, 1036 01:06:13,370 --> 01:06:14,271 what you want first? 1037 01:06:14,271 --> 01:06:15,939 Ah dude, good news. 1038 01:06:15,939 --> 01:06:18,708 - Ok the good news is, the sisters are picking us up later. 1039 01:06:18,708 --> 01:06:20,277 Yeah right on. 1040 01:06:20,277 --> 01:06:22,512 - Yes sir. - Ok dude. 1041 01:06:22,512 --> 01:06:23,947 Bad news. 1042 01:06:23,947 --> 01:06:26,083 - And the bad news is, Max here says you're fired. 1043 01:06:26,083 --> 01:06:29,053 Whoa dude what? Dude, dude?! 1044 01:06:32,456 --> 01:06:33,923 - It's that easy. 1045 01:06:37,161 --> 01:06:39,296 Stop letting it get to you man. 1046 01:06:39,296 --> 01:06:40,764 You got a bet to win, 1047 01:06:40,764 --> 01:06:42,732 and all you gotta do is pick up a hot chick 1048 01:06:42,732 --> 01:06:43,533 for tomorrow night. 1049 01:06:43,533 --> 01:06:44,468 - I do. 1050 01:06:44,468 --> 01:06:45,802 - And I know my boy can do that. 1051 01:06:45,802 --> 01:06:48,105 - I can do that. - That's right. 1052 01:06:48,638 --> 01:06:51,841 Alright, ready to get back to work, go get 'em. 1053 01:06:58,115 --> 01:07:00,950 There we go, good teamwork. 1054 01:07:04,088 --> 01:07:06,090 Oh my God. 1055 01:07:06,090 --> 01:07:08,625 Shit! What am I gonna tell my dad? 1056 01:07:08,625 --> 01:07:11,128 - You might wanna think about that for a minute. 1057 01:07:11,128 --> 01:07:12,796 - You can say that again. 1058 01:07:12,796 --> 01:07:14,498 - Yeah. 1059 01:07:14,498 --> 01:07:16,666 - What the fuck, I thought you guys said it was safe 1060 01:07:16,666 --> 01:07:18,102 to park out here? 1061 01:07:18,102 --> 01:07:22,306 - Oh no, no no I said I never get messed with. 1062 01:07:22,306 --> 01:07:25,909 - Well, where is your car? 1063 01:07:25,909 --> 01:07:28,312 - Oh I donated it. 1064 01:07:28,312 --> 01:07:29,846 - What? 1065 01:07:30,847 --> 01:07:35,852 - To the Elderly Women's Equal Rights Movement. 1066 01:07:37,187 --> 01:07:40,157 - I thought you said it got repossessed? 1067 01:07:40,157 --> 01:07:41,658 - No, that's my brothers car. 1068 01:07:41,658 --> 01:07:42,826 - Oh yeah. 1069 01:07:42,826 --> 01:07:45,395 - So why don't you have a new car? 1070 01:07:45,395 --> 01:07:49,999 - Oh because I'm really eco-friendly, it's hot. 1071 01:07:49,999 --> 01:07:53,903 - You want us to call you a cab or the police or... 1072 01:07:53,903 --> 01:07:55,839 - Come on Trixy, we're out of here. 1073 01:07:55,839 --> 01:07:57,174 - But we were gonna go -- 1074 01:07:57,174 --> 01:07:59,509 - We'll walk to the payphone and call on our own. 1075 01:08:04,614 --> 01:08:06,583 - And I'll call you. 1076 01:08:07,817 --> 01:08:10,720 - I feel like such a jerk. 1077 01:08:11,688 --> 01:08:13,523 - Trixy! 1078 01:08:13,523 --> 01:08:18,528 - Wait wait, oh wait no, that's just stomach acid. 1079 01:08:18,595 --> 01:08:20,330 - Oh yeah, nice camel toe though. 1080 01:08:20,330 --> 01:08:21,831 - Yeah. 1081 01:08:31,808 --> 01:08:33,510 - Hello? 1082 01:08:33,510 --> 01:08:35,279 Hey Marie. 1083 01:08:35,279 --> 01:08:36,513 - Hey Max. 1084 01:08:36,513 --> 01:08:38,182 How's it going? 1085 01:08:39,249 --> 01:08:40,484 How you doing? 1086 01:08:40,484 --> 01:08:42,886 - Haven't talked to you since I got pregnant. 1087 01:08:42,886 --> 01:08:45,189 - You got pregnant? 1088 01:08:45,189 --> 01:08:46,656 When? 1089 01:08:46,656 --> 01:08:49,193 - Last December remember? 1090 01:08:49,193 --> 01:08:50,860 - December? 1091 01:08:50,860 --> 01:08:53,197 - My boobs are enormous. 1092 01:08:53,197 --> 01:08:57,634 I mean if I get stretch marks I'm gonna be so mad. 1093 01:08:57,634 --> 01:08:59,536 - Well that's great. 1094 01:09:00,404 --> 01:09:02,639 Good luck with that. 1095 01:09:02,639 --> 01:09:05,209 Na I mean, congratulations. 1096 01:09:05,209 --> 01:09:07,211 - Thanks Max. 1097 01:09:08,912 --> 01:09:11,315 - Well I probably should get going. 1098 01:09:11,315 --> 01:09:14,218 I'll talk to you soon, take care. 1099 01:09:14,218 --> 01:09:16,019 - Alright, take care. 1100 01:09:16,019 --> 01:09:17,587 - Bye. 1101 01:09:36,840 --> 01:09:38,375 Oh sorry. 1102 01:09:38,375 --> 01:09:40,377 - That's cool. 1103 01:09:52,322 --> 01:09:53,390 - Hi. 1104 01:09:53,390 --> 01:09:54,324 - Hi. 1105 01:09:54,324 --> 01:09:56,260 - How you doing? My name is Max, 1106 01:09:56,260 --> 01:09:57,427 What's your name? 1107 01:09:57,427 --> 01:10:00,264 - My name is Jeremy, nice to meet you Max. 1108 01:10:00,264 --> 01:10:01,498 - Where are you going? 1109 01:10:01,498 --> 01:10:03,800 - I'm going home. 1110 01:10:04,534 --> 01:10:07,170 - You know, this is gonna sound a little straightforward 1111 01:10:07,170 --> 01:10:12,175 and would you like to go out with me this evening? 1112 01:10:12,942 --> 01:10:14,544 - I don't even know you. 1113 01:10:14,544 --> 01:10:17,581 - I'm a nice, good looking, successful guy. 1114 01:10:17,581 --> 01:10:19,783 - And modest. 1115 01:10:20,450 --> 01:10:22,952 - At times, I can be. 1116 01:10:24,220 --> 01:10:27,090 - Ok, what do you do? 1117 01:10:27,090 --> 01:10:30,093 - I don't even know anymore. 1118 01:10:30,093 --> 01:10:32,228 - I understand that. 1119 01:10:33,863 --> 01:10:38,535 Ok Max, I don't usually do this, 1120 01:10:38,535 --> 01:10:40,737 but I like you. 1121 01:10:40,737 --> 01:10:42,839 I'm gonna give you my number 1122 01:10:42,839 --> 01:10:46,676 and you call me, after eight. 1123 01:10:51,648 --> 01:10:53,049 - Do you need a ride? 1124 01:10:53,049 --> 01:10:55,251 - No you could be a serial killer or something, 1125 01:10:55,251 --> 01:10:59,556 but I will see sometime after eight in public. 1126 01:10:59,556 --> 01:11:04,160 - Hey it's a costume karaoke party, be ready at eight. 1127 01:11:24,481 --> 01:11:27,717 Oh damn, Allison. 1128 01:11:32,489 --> 01:11:35,124 I'll send her flowers. 1129 01:11:39,429 --> 01:11:42,366 No I got something better. 1130 01:12:19,603 --> 01:12:22,105 White zone is for immediate loading 1131 01:12:22,105 --> 01:12:26,643 and unloading of passengers only, no parking. 1132 01:12:31,915 --> 01:12:36,085 - Wow two times in one week, what's the deal? 1133 01:12:36,085 --> 01:12:38,187 - I just got a girls number 1134 01:12:38,187 --> 01:12:41,024 and I'm going out with her tonight. 1135 01:12:41,024 --> 01:12:43,326 - Did my advice help? 1136 01:12:43,326 --> 01:12:44,828 - Maybe. 1137 01:12:44,828 --> 01:12:47,831 - You know a simple "Thank you" would do. 1138 01:12:49,132 --> 01:12:50,434 - Thank you. 1139 01:12:50,434 --> 01:12:51,801 - You're welcome. 1140 01:12:51,801 --> 01:12:53,903 So what do you have here? 1141 01:12:53,903 --> 01:12:56,473 - This is a painting that I did in high school 1142 01:12:56,473 --> 01:13:00,343 and I was wondering if you could wrap it up for me, 1143 01:13:00,343 --> 01:13:02,011 pro bono. 1144 01:13:03,212 --> 01:13:05,114 - Alright let's see. 1145 01:13:06,516 --> 01:13:07,851 You're not planning on giving this to the girl 1146 01:13:07,851 --> 01:13:09,586 you just met are you? 1147 01:13:09,586 --> 01:13:12,822 - No it's just for a friend. 1148 01:13:14,057 --> 01:13:17,126 - Ok, if you say so. 1149 01:13:22,566 --> 01:13:24,834 Better be a good friend. 1150 01:13:26,903 --> 01:13:29,138 - I hope so. 1151 01:13:37,847 --> 01:13:42,185 Hi, I was wondering if I can leave this for Allison? 1152 01:13:42,185 --> 01:13:43,987 Sure, I'll make sure she gets it. 1153 01:13:43,987 --> 01:13:45,221 - Tell her it's from Max. 1154 01:14:27,897 --> 01:14:30,333 Hey boy, how you doing? 1155 01:14:31,735 --> 01:14:33,369 Hello. 1156 01:14:33,369 --> 01:14:35,404 You want a treat? You want a treat? 1157 01:14:40,910 --> 01:14:42,812 What's up buddy? 1158 01:14:42,812 --> 01:14:44,581 - Hey bro you ready for tonight? 1159 01:14:44,581 --> 01:14:46,550 Yup I'm ready. 1160 01:14:46,550 --> 01:14:48,451 - You're driving right? 1161 01:14:48,451 --> 01:14:51,320 - Yeah I'm driving, who's going? 1162 01:14:51,320 --> 01:14:55,224 - Well it's Tom, me, Eva, you and your date. 1163 01:14:55,892 --> 01:14:57,827 Who's Eva? 1164 01:14:57,827 --> 01:15:00,630 - Remember our bet right? 1165 01:15:00,630 --> 01:15:01,898 - Yeah. 1166 01:15:01,898 --> 01:15:04,033 - Tonight is the night I drive home in your car, 1167 01:15:04,033 --> 01:15:05,902 or should I say my car. 1168 01:15:05,902 --> 01:15:09,906 Don't worry buddy boy, I'll give you a ride home 1169 01:15:09,906 --> 01:15:12,341 as long as you don't mind sitting bitch. 1170 01:15:12,341 --> 01:15:14,043 - Oh you make it sound like you already won, 1171 01:15:14,043 --> 01:15:17,146 maybe I should just stay home and can see. 1172 01:15:18,481 --> 01:15:20,116 - You get a costume? 1173 01:15:20,116 --> 01:15:22,118 - Oh shit! 1174 01:15:22,118 --> 01:15:23,086 - You forgot, you're crazy man, 1175 01:15:23,086 --> 01:15:24,854 there's gonna be nothing left. 1176 01:15:24,854 --> 01:15:25,822 - I'll get one. 1177 01:15:25,822 --> 01:15:27,090 - Good luck. 1178 01:15:27,090 --> 01:15:29,292 Hey do you know who's talking about you? 1179 01:15:29,292 --> 01:15:30,927 Dean. 1180 01:15:30,927 --> 01:15:32,596 You like? 1181 01:15:38,134 --> 01:15:42,238 * Sex sex sex sex 1182 01:15:42,238 --> 01:15:44,340 - You're such a dick. 1183 01:15:56,753 --> 01:15:59,122 Oh my God, that's so perfect. 1184 01:15:59,923 --> 01:16:04,060 Hey chicken man! Chicken man, I need to talk to you. 1185 01:16:10,333 --> 01:16:12,035 You talking to me? 1186 01:16:12,035 --> 01:16:13,269 Are you talking to me huh? 1187 01:16:13,269 --> 01:16:16,372 You chicken head, you talking to me, huh? 1188 01:16:22,712 --> 01:16:26,883 Oh no, no no no no no. 1189 01:16:26,883 --> 01:16:29,953 I did not just wash your number off my hand, no. 1190 01:16:29,953 --> 01:16:31,054 No, no no. 1191 01:16:33,489 --> 01:16:35,859 Damn it! Damn it! 1192 01:16:36,059 --> 01:16:40,196 Come on, come on, come on one hot girl. 1193 01:16:49,873 --> 01:16:52,909 Hi, my name is Max. 1194 01:16:52,909 --> 01:16:55,011 What's your name? 1195 01:16:55,011 --> 01:16:56,445 - Destiny. 1196 01:16:56,445 --> 01:16:58,081 - I believe in that. 1197 01:16:58,081 --> 01:17:01,184 - That's original, not! 1198 01:17:01,184 --> 01:17:03,687 - What are you in a rush for? 1199 01:17:03,687 --> 01:17:05,755 - Just because. 1200 01:17:05,755 --> 01:17:08,424 - Because is just like a fabricated answer that people have. 1201 01:17:08,424 --> 01:17:10,894 I mean either you're going somewhere 1202 01:17:10,894 --> 01:17:12,395 and you don't want me to know or 1203 01:17:12,395 --> 01:17:14,163 you really don't know where you're going 1204 01:17:14,163 --> 01:17:16,565 and you're just nervous of repercussions 1205 01:17:16,565 --> 01:17:20,536 of meeting me and what that would lie in your destiny. 1206 01:17:21,971 --> 01:17:23,707 - What? 1207 01:17:23,707 --> 01:17:27,777 - Never mind, do you have a date tonight? 1208 01:17:28,812 --> 01:17:29,979 - No. 1209 01:17:31,180 --> 01:17:33,049 - You do now. 1210 01:17:33,850 --> 01:17:35,584 - Cool. 1211 01:17:35,584 --> 01:17:37,320 Could you pick me up? 1212 01:17:37,320 --> 01:17:39,355 - Yeah sure. 1213 01:17:39,889 --> 01:17:41,557 I have to warn you though my dad likes to meet 1214 01:17:41,557 --> 01:17:45,328 the guys I date, he's old fashioned like that. 1215 01:17:45,328 --> 01:17:46,996 - Hey I should get your number, 1216 01:17:46,996 --> 01:17:49,165 do you wanna plug that in there? 1217 01:17:51,634 --> 01:17:54,537 And um, by the way we're going to a karaoke bar 1218 01:17:54,537 --> 01:17:56,272 with a costume theme. 1219 01:17:56,272 --> 01:17:59,175 So, you have a costume that you could whip up right? 1220 01:17:59,175 --> 01:18:01,110 - Yeah sure. 1221 01:18:01,110 --> 01:18:03,212 Ok bye. 1222 01:18:17,226 --> 01:18:19,929 - Welcome to Earth Cure, are you a new patient? 1223 01:18:19,929 --> 01:18:21,865 - Sort of. 1224 01:18:21,865 --> 01:18:23,900 - And what are your ailments? 1225 01:18:23,900 --> 01:18:25,902 - Stress. 1226 01:18:25,902 --> 01:18:28,004 - Stress, from what? 1227 01:18:28,004 --> 01:18:30,774 - I can't seem to find my dealers. 1228 01:18:31,975 --> 01:18:33,943 - Oh right. 1229 01:18:33,943 --> 01:18:38,147 - My doctor prescribed this medical marijuana card to me. 1230 01:18:39,048 --> 01:18:40,850 - A doctor, right. 1231 01:18:40,850 --> 01:18:45,855 For you, I suggest, super ape or warlock. 1232 01:18:55,298 --> 01:18:57,366 Deaner, what's happening? 1233 01:18:57,366 --> 01:18:58,902 - Not much. 1234 01:19:01,104 --> 01:19:04,573 Can I get that Russian dictionary? 1235 01:19:05,875 --> 01:19:07,944 - Sold out bro. 1236 01:19:07,944 --> 01:19:11,714 - No no, the book, the English Russian dictionary, 1237 01:19:11,714 --> 01:19:13,216 translation. 1238 01:19:13,216 --> 01:19:14,450 - It's at my house. 1239 01:19:14,450 --> 01:19:15,919 What do you need it for? 1240 01:19:15,919 --> 01:19:19,622 - Bro, I got the hottest Russian chick. 1241 01:19:19,622 --> 01:19:20,957 - Nice. 1242 01:19:20,957 --> 01:19:25,161 - She is h-h-hott. 1243 01:19:28,531 --> 01:19:30,466 Bro those stairs dude. 1244 01:19:30,466 --> 01:19:32,268 - Yeah, every time. 1245 01:19:32,268 --> 01:19:34,871 - Look I don't, I don't know why. 1246 01:19:35,972 --> 01:19:37,306 Can I get a sample? 1247 01:19:37,306 --> 01:19:38,842 - Dude they're gonna fire me 1248 01:19:38,842 --> 01:19:40,543 if you keep eating the samples. 1249 01:19:42,111 --> 01:19:44,580 Just take one Dean. 1250 01:19:45,849 --> 01:19:47,416 One. 1251 01:19:49,919 --> 01:19:51,888 One! 1252 01:19:54,991 --> 01:19:57,126 - Super ape. 1253 01:20:02,498 --> 01:20:04,968 Daddy! Can you get the door. 1254 01:20:04,968 --> 01:20:08,137 I think it's Max and I'm not ready yet. 1255 01:20:16,145 --> 01:20:18,314 - Oh hell's no. 1256 01:20:20,183 --> 01:20:21,851 - Yeah. 1257 01:20:21,851 --> 01:20:23,786 - I'll tell you what, 1258 01:20:23,786 --> 01:20:26,255 I'll give you a three second head start. 1259 01:20:27,790 --> 01:20:29,392 Daddy no! 1260 01:20:31,060 --> 01:20:33,262 - Baby, baby baby! 1261 01:20:33,262 --> 01:20:34,430 Dad put down the gun. 1262 01:20:35,131 --> 01:20:36,465 - You're lucky. 1263 01:20:36,465 --> 01:20:37,934 Oh baby you -- 1264 01:20:37,934 --> 01:20:39,768 - Dad why do you do this to me? Why do you do this? 1265 01:20:39,768 --> 01:20:40,904 - Get inside, put some clothes on! 1266 01:20:40,904 --> 01:20:41,871 Put some clothes on! 1267 01:20:44,440 --> 01:20:45,975 - I'm dateless, why? 1268 01:20:45,975 --> 01:20:47,543 I'm a nice guy in a chicken suit. 1269 01:20:47,543 --> 01:20:50,713 Are there any women out there for me? Huh? 1270 01:20:50,713 --> 01:20:52,982 - I can remember, of course I can remember. 1271 01:20:56,119 --> 01:20:57,553 Why do you -- 1272 01:20:57,553 --> 01:21:00,356 Stupid, I don't even know him. 1273 01:21:04,327 --> 01:21:05,995 - Ah damn it! 1274 01:21:12,535 --> 01:21:13,836 - Evening. 1275 01:21:13,836 --> 01:21:15,038 You know why I pulled you over? 1276 01:21:15,038 --> 01:21:17,273 - No I don't know, was I, was I speeding? 1277 01:21:17,273 --> 01:21:19,375 Did I miss a stop sign? 1278 01:21:20,843 --> 01:21:23,012 - No you're wearing a chicken suit. 1279 01:21:23,012 --> 01:21:24,513 - What? 1280 01:21:26,082 --> 01:21:29,285 - I'm just kidding, you got a tail light out. 1281 01:21:29,285 --> 01:21:32,588 Let me see your license and registration. 1282 01:21:36,292 --> 01:21:40,629 - Ah, ok, who's an idiot? 1283 01:21:40,629 --> 01:21:44,167 Hey Cecil, yeah, I'm the retard. 1284 01:21:44,167 --> 01:21:45,868 Of course I'm -- 1285 01:21:45,868 --> 01:21:50,873 Yup I'm retarded, it's me, your daddy, retarded. 1286 01:21:52,308 --> 01:21:54,710 Why did I have to wash her 1287 01:21:55,478 --> 01:21:57,846 number off my hand? Why? Why?! 1288 01:21:57,846 --> 01:22:00,383 Did I have to? Did I have to? Huh? 1289 01:22:00,383 --> 01:22:02,251 Did I have to wash her number off my hand? 1290 01:22:02,251 --> 01:22:05,421 No I didn't, no I didn't. 1291 01:22:07,690 --> 01:22:10,126 Come here, come here. 1292 01:22:10,759 --> 01:22:12,895 Give me some love. 1293 01:22:14,563 --> 01:22:17,100 - So what's the hardest part about rollerblading? 1294 01:22:17,100 --> 01:22:18,034 - What? 1295 01:22:18,034 --> 01:22:19,868 - Telling your dad you're gay. 1296 01:22:21,170 --> 01:22:23,106 Not that there's anything wrong with that. 1297 01:22:23,106 --> 01:22:25,574 Oh hey buddy, where' your costume? 1298 01:22:27,610 --> 01:22:29,345 - Don't have it. 1299 01:22:29,345 --> 01:22:32,115 - Why aren't you dressed up? 1300 01:22:33,349 --> 01:22:35,451 - It's a long story. 1301 01:22:35,451 --> 01:22:37,086 - What are you suppose to be? 1302 01:22:37,086 --> 01:22:38,754 - A loser. 1303 01:22:38,854 --> 01:22:40,856 - Oh. 1304 01:22:42,358 --> 01:22:45,194 - Oh let me guess, two assholes? 1305 01:22:45,194 --> 01:22:47,696 - No, pirate, referee. 1306 01:22:47,696 --> 01:22:50,866 Close though, Max Eva, Eva Max. 1307 01:22:50,866 --> 01:22:51,867 - Hello. 1308 01:22:51,867 --> 01:22:53,602 - Holler! 1309 01:22:54,670 --> 01:22:56,139 - So where's your date? 1310 01:22:56,139 --> 01:22:58,041 - Which one? The first one I lost her number. 1311 01:22:58,041 --> 01:23:00,309 The second one, her dad chased me down the street 1312 01:23:00,309 --> 01:23:02,778 with a shotgun tried to shoot me. 1313 01:23:02,778 --> 01:23:04,880 - Maxy, with no date, the winner is 1314 01:23:04,880 --> 01:23:07,250 Mr.Youthhostile over here. 1315 01:23:07,250 --> 01:23:09,385 Keys please. 1316 01:23:10,519 --> 01:23:13,322 - I still have 'til midnight. 1317 01:23:13,322 --> 01:23:16,592 - That's true, that's true, that is true. 1318 01:23:18,727 --> 01:23:20,729 What? 1319 01:23:41,184 --> 01:23:44,520 * Captain Smith and Pocahontas 1320 01:23:44,520 --> 01:23:48,191 * Have a very mad face. 1321 01:23:48,191 --> 01:23:51,494 * When her daddy tried to kill him. 1322 01:23:51,494 --> 01:23:54,397 * She said daddy oh no don't you dare 1323 01:23:54,397 --> 01:23:56,799 * He gives me fever 1324 01:23:57,733 --> 01:24:01,904 * With his kisses, fever when he holds me tight 1325 01:24:03,106 --> 01:24:07,276 * Fever, I'm his misses, so daddy 1326 01:24:07,276 --> 01:24:10,012 * Won't you treat him right 1327 01:24:10,012 --> 01:24:13,482 * Now you've listened to my story 1328 01:24:13,482 --> 01:24:17,220 * Here's the point that I am making 1329 01:24:17,220 --> 01:24:20,823 * Chicks will only give you fever 1330 01:24:20,823 --> 01:24:23,559 * Being Fahrenheit or Centigrade 1331 01:24:23,559 --> 01:24:25,994 * They give you fever 1332 01:24:27,163 --> 01:24:28,497 * When you kiss them 1333 01:24:28,497 --> 01:24:32,168 * Fever if you live and learn 1334 01:24:32,168 --> 01:24:34,437 - Looks like Max is gonna regain the title bro. 1335 01:24:34,437 --> 01:24:36,972 She's giving him a private show. 1336 01:24:36,972 --> 01:24:38,141 - No way dude. 1337 01:24:38,141 --> 01:24:40,343 She's dancing like that for everybody. 1338 01:24:40,343 --> 01:24:42,578 - Yeah, I don't think so. 1339 01:24:42,578 --> 01:24:45,248 - I got the title right here. 1340 01:24:52,020 --> 01:24:55,391 * Fever, 'til you sizzle 1341 01:24:55,391 --> 01:24:59,162 * What a lovely way to burn 1342 01:24:59,162 --> 01:25:02,831 * What a lovely way to burn 1343 01:25:02,831 --> 01:25:06,435 * What lovely way to burn 1344 01:25:06,435 --> 01:25:10,706 * What a lovely way to burn 1345 01:25:21,984 --> 01:25:25,488 Next up, Nunzio with YMCA. 1346 01:25:25,488 --> 01:25:30,193 - Hey, hey, hi that was a great song. 1347 01:25:30,193 --> 01:25:31,860 - Thanks. 1348 01:25:31,860 --> 01:25:34,463 - I've been seeing you all over the place 1349 01:25:34,463 --> 01:25:37,666 and I don't even know your name. 1350 01:25:38,834 --> 01:25:40,703 - Nicolette. 1351 01:25:40,703 --> 01:25:43,206 - Max. - Hi Max. 1352 01:25:44,507 --> 01:25:46,475 - Whoa. 1353 01:25:46,475 --> 01:25:48,311 Dude stop touching me. 1354 01:25:48,311 --> 01:25:50,746 He likes to touch me inappropriately. 1355 01:25:50,746 --> 01:25:53,982 - He's joking, I don't like to touch him. 1356 01:25:59,054 --> 01:25:59,988 - Thank you. 1357 01:25:59,988 --> 01:26:01,324 - At least me and my girl match. 1358 01:26:01,324 --> 01:26:03,226 We should get points for that. 1359 01:26:03,226 --> 01:26:06,295 - I'm taking away points for that. 1360 01:26:06,362 --> 01:26:08,664 - Did you come here with someone? 1361 01:26:08,664 --> 01:26:09,798 - No. 1362 01:26:09,798 --> 01:26:11,967 - Do you have a boyfriend? 1363 01:26:11,967 --> 01:26:13,602 - No. 1364 01:26:15,037 --> 01:26:17,606 Do you wanna go someplace quiet? 1365 01:26:17,606 --> 01:26:18,941 - Yeah. 1366 01:26:21,577 --> 01:26:23,912 - Let's get out of here. 1367 01:26:23,912 --> 01:26:25,080 - Ok. 1368 01:26:27,250 --> 01:26:30,386 - You only cost two grand. 1369 01:26:37,293 --> 01:26:38,994 - Wait wait wait. 1370 01:26:38,994 --> 01:26:39,795 - What? 1371 01:26:39,795 --> 01:26:41,264 - Do you have a condom? 1372 01:26:41,264 --> 01:26:43,332 - Yeah, I do. 1373 01:26:49,338 --> 01:26:50,906 Ah shit! 1374 01:26:50,906 --> 01:26:52,275 - What? 1375 01:26:52,275 --> 01:26:54,277 - It's ripped. 1376 01:27:14,463 --> 01:27:15,564 Thanks so much for coming. 1377 01:27:15,564 --> 01:27:16,965 It really means a lot. 1378 01:27:16,965 --> 01:27:18,834 Allison. 1379 01:27:18,834 --> 01:27:20,202 Thank you for having us. 1380 01:27:20,202 --> 01:27:21,169 It's an honor to be here. 1381 01:27:21,169 --> 01:27:23,439 The colors you used in this set, 1382 01:27:23,439 --> 01:27:24,840 they're absolutely vibrant. 1383 01:27:24,840 --> 01:27:26,041 Oh thank you. 1384 01:27:26,041 --> 01:27:27,676 - I honestly like that one the best. 1385 01:27:27,676 --> 01:27:30,212 That one, over came like -- 1386 01:27:30,979 --> 01:27:34,116 - Yeah, now that one was a lot of fun to take. 1387 01:27:46,662 --> 01:27:49,798 - Oh ho oh. - Ohh ho oh. 1388 01:27:52,034 --> 01:27:55,237 Ladies and gentleman we have a winner. 1389 01:27:55,237 --> 01:27:57,740 - Damn. - Winner. 1390 01:27:58,541 --> 01:27:59,975 - Keeping the girls waiting? 1391 01:27:59,975 --> 01:28:01,777 Daddy's gotta go make a sandwich. 1392 01:28:01,777 --> 01:28:02,611 You kids have a good night. 1393 01:28:02,611 --> 01:28:04,347 Peace. 1394 01:28:04,347 --> 01:28:06,382 - Ah you guys need a lift? 1395 01:28:06,382 --> 01:28:08,717 Yeah sure. 1396 01:28:08,717 --> 01:28:10,886 I'm a dirty girl. 1397 01:28:12,087 --> 01:28:14,690 - I'm a dirty girl. 1398 01:28:15,358 --> 01:28:17,259 - Tickle. - Tickle. 1399 01:28:17,259 --> 01:28:18,727 - Tickle my nut sack. - Tickle my -- 1400 01:28:18,727 --> 01:28:20,195 - My nut sack. - My nut sack. 1401 01:28:20,195 --> 01:28:21,830 - Tickle my nut sack. - My nut sack. 1402 01:28:21,830 --> 01:28:23,499 - Tickle my nut sack. 1403 01:28:23,499 --> 01:28:25,133 Tickle my -- 1404 01:28:25,133 --> 01:28:28,136 - She doesn't even know what I'm saying, that's great. 1405 01:28:28,136 --> 01:28:31,540 - Dean, Dean, if you don't kiss her in five minutes, 1406 01:28:31,540 --> 01:28:33,376 you lose the bet. 1407 01:28:34,377 --> 01:28:36,044 - Alright, alright. 1408 01:28:40,583 --> 01:28:42,718 - What is bet? 1409 01:28:43,452 --> 01:28:44,853 - You speak English? 1410 01:28:44,853 --> 01:28:47,423 - What is bet? 1411 01:28:50,693 --> 01:28:51,927 - Can I have a green tea please? 1412 01:28:51,927 --> 01:28:53,729 - This is not part of deal. 1413 01:28:57,132 --> 01:28:59,234 - She speaks English dude. 1414 01:29:00,068 --> 01:29:02,204 - This is not part of deal. 1415 01:29:02,204 --> 01:29:05,107 Won't have nothing to do with you and your 1416 01:29:05,107 --> 01:29:07,476 pervert friends. 1417 01:29:25,494 --> 01:29:27,863 - Can't believe he stood me up. 1418 01:29:30,633 --> 01:29:32,701 What a jerk! 1419 01:29:39,608 --> 01:29:40,943 - Where's Eva? 1420 01:29:40,943 --> 01:29:42,945 - She hopped in the cab. 1421 01:29:42,945 --> 01:29:44,212 I'll catch up with her later. 1422 01:29:44,212 --> 01:29:46,081 You know how it goes. 1423 01:29:46,081 --> 01:29:47,616 It sucks. 1424 01:29:48,216 --> 01:29:50,318 - Excuse me. 1425 01:29:54,457 --> 01:29:56,625 - Well looks like you lost. 1426 01:29:56,625 --> 01:29:58,594 Guess you'll be cleaning my apartment. 1427 01:29:58,594 --> 01:30:00,729 - What? 1428 01:30:00,729 --> 01:30:02,598 That was a joke dude, you weren't gonna put your car 1429 01:30:02,598 --> 01:30:03,899 on the line right? 1430 01:30:03,899 --> 01:30:06,802 - I bet my car, it's not a joke. 1431 01:30:06,802 --> 01:30:09,037 - We were joking dude. 1432 01:30:10,038 --> 01:30:13,175 - Ok, just at least admit that I won. 1433 01:30:13,175 --> 01:30:14,242 - No. 1434 01:30:14,242 --> 01:30:15,678 - Just say it, I won. 1435 01:30:15,678 --> 01:30:16,445 - No. 1436 01:30:16,445 --> 01:30:17,112 - Just say I won. 1437 01:30:17,112 --> 01:30:17,880 No. 1438 01:30:17,880 --> 01:30:18,814 - Say Max Burns won. 1439 01:30:18,814 --> 01:30:20,115 - No. 1440 01:30:29,758 --> 01:30:31,760 - Just win, won, say it won. 1441 01:30:31,760 --> 01:30:32,728 - Nope. - Win. 1442 01:30:32,728 --> 01:30:33,762 - Nope. - Win. 1443 01:30:33,762 --> 01:30:35,397 - Nope. - Max won. 1444 01:30:39,502 --> 01:30:41,403 - I didn't even wink. 1445 01:30:41,403 --> 01:30:43,438 - Just man up and just say you'll clean my apartment 1446 01:30:43,438 --> 01:30:45,440 at least one time. 1447 01:30:45,440 --> 01:30:48,110 - I'm gonna go take a man piss. 1448 01:30:59,555 --> 01:31:01,056 You gotta see this. 1449 01:31:01,056 --> 01:31:02,090 - What? - Come on. 1450 01:31:02,090 --> 01:31:03,391 - What? 1451 01:31:12,568 --> 01:31:17,172 - Oh Max! Max wait! 1452 01:31:29,384 --> 01:31:31,153 - Bro the tire's slashed. 1453 01:31:31,153 --> 01:31:31,954 - What? 1454 01:31:31,954 --> 01:31:33,789 - It's slashed. 1455 01:31:33,789 --> 01:31:38,026 - Max! We can make this work! 1456 01:31:50,773 --> 01:31:54,309 - Oh my gosh, wow! It was great. 1457 01:31:54,309 --> 01:31:55,778 You liked it? 1458 01:31:55,778 --> 01:31:56,979 - Yes. 1459 01:31:56,979 --> 01:31:57,946 - Oh thank you so much for coming. 1460 01:31:57,946 --> 01:31:59,047 It means so much. 1461 01:31:59,047 --> 01:31:59,748 I'm so proud of you. 1462 01:31:59,748 --> 01:32:01,049 - Thank you. 1463 01:32:01,049 --> 01:32:02,417 I hope you have a good night though. 1464 01:32:02,417 --> 01:32:05,020 - You too honey. - Thanks bye. 1465 01:32:19,902 --> 01:32:23,338 - So let me get this straight for the record. 1466 01:32:23,338 --> 01:32:27,610 Technically we're both losers. 1467 01:32:29,878 --> 01:32:34,149 - We're absolute, absolute losers! 1468 01:32:36,785 --> 01:32:39,254 - Take it easy bro. 1469 01:32:44,627 --> 01:32:46,629 - It just comes natural. 1470 01:32:46,629 --> 01:32:49,531 It's who you are, you know? 1471 01:32:49,531 --> 01:32:52,000 - Well what were you just looking for? 1472 01:32:52,000 --> 01:32:54,637 - I don't know, when I see it I'll know. 1473 01:32:54,637 --> 01:32:57,239 - All work and no play makes life very boring. 1474 01:32:57,239 --> 01:32:59,507 Know what I mean kid? 1475 01:32:59,507 --> 01:33:02,878 - Always give to one another without expectation. 1476 01:33:02,878 --> 01:33:05,113 - You wanna walk with me? 1477 01:33:05,113 --> 01:33:07,449 Max, who are you? 1478 01:33:07,449 --> 01:33:10,518 It sounds like you need to remember who you are. 1479 01:33:13,388 --> 01:33:15,357 - Somewhere I gotta be. 1480 01:33:15,357 --> 01:33:17,893 - Bro where are you going? 1481 01:33:19,862 --> 01:33:21,930 I love you. 1482 01:34:03,706 --> 01:34:05,273 - Allison! 1483 01:34:05,273 --> 01:34:07,743 Allison! 1484 01:34:07,743 --> 01:34:10,278 Allison! 1485 01:34:13,548 --> 01:34:15,583 Allison! 1486 01:34:25,093 --> 01:34:27,129 Allison I'm sorry for being such a jerk 1487 01:34:27,129 --> 01:34:29,798 and now showing up this evening. 1488 01:34:31,299 --> 01:34:34,036 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 1489 01:34:42,110 --> 01:34:43,879 I'm an idiot. 1490 01:34:43,879 --> 01:34:47,515 - You stand me up and now you're trying to make up for it. 1491 01:34:47,515 --> 01:34:49,551 I mean why? 1492 01:34:49,551 --> 01:34:51,253 I'm not even your type. 1493 01:34:51,253 --> 01:34:52,755 - I was wrong, I thought I had to live 1494 01:34:52,755 --> 01:34:55,657 some executive life style and have some stereotypical 1495 01:34:55,657 --> 01:34:57,525 bimbo on my arm but I don't, 1496 01:34:57,525 --> 01:34:59,327 I don't want any part of it. 1497 01:34:59,327 --> 01:35:01,930 Look I don't have all the answer but I did learn 1498 01:35:01,930 --> 01:35:03,531 a valuable lesson. 1499 01:35:03,531 --> 01:35:05,300 - What lesson? 1500 01:35:07,803 --> 01:35:10,638 - That I like you for who you are. 1501 01:35:10,638 --> 01:35:14,142 - Well you have a strange way of showing it. 1502 01:35:14,142 --> 01:35:17,379 I mean what made you come to your senses now? 1503 01:35:18,346 --> 01:35:21,016 - A few things did, mostly what you said the other night. 1504 01:35:21,016 --> 01:35:23,485 You know, remember who you are. 1505 01:35:23,485 --> 01:35:26,321 It hit me, I mean I was putting so much value 1506 01:35:26,321 --> 01:35:27,655 into what other people thought 1507 01:35:27,655 --> 01:35:31,293 and I was ignoring my feelings for you. 1508 01:35:31,293 --> 01:35:34,562 And I'm an idiot and I'm sorry. 1509 01:35:51,814 --> 01:35:53,315 Where are you going? 1510 01:35:53,315 --> 01:35:54,482 - Home. 1511 01:35:54,482 --> 01:35:56,919 - Well can I walk with you? 1512 01:35:58,020 --> 01:36:00,956 - Well that'd be a start. 1513 01:36:04,026 --> 01:36:05,861 So that's my story. 1514 01:36:05,861 --> 01:36:07,395 I know how much you like flowers. 1515 01:36:07,395 --> 01:36:09,497 Now I'm no ladies man 1516 01:36:09,497 --> 01:36:12,100 and I haven't figured out women 1517 01:36:12,100 --> 01:36:15,037 but I did learn one thing, 1518 01:36:15,037 --> 01:36:17,873 you shouldn't be kissing strangers. 96920