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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:05,560 Abbé! Abbé! 2 00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:07,073 Abbé! 3 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:09,349 Abbé! 4 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:20,874 - I don't want this, Freddie. - It's a gift. 5 00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:23,918 Bribe me any way you like, I'm not house-sitting. 6 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,958 Put it on your neck, it gives you Shiatsu massage. 7 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:29,349 Look. You put it here. See? 8 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:33,115 Oh, that's... Oh, I can feel that. 9 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,316 And that goes right down... 10 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:40,395 I think I may have got a nerve there. 11 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:42,118 Oh, so that's what it's for. 12 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:44,350 I can't feel my thighs. 13 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:52,795 If you do change your mind... 14 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,189 I won't. Bye, bye! 15 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,678 Corkscrew. Corkscrew. Manny! 16 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:04,273 Manny! 17 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,199 Ah! 18 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:18,759 Manny, Manny, Manny... 19 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:21,559 - Will you stop shouting at me? - Sorry. 20 00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:25,110 Your hair looks amazing. Where's the corkscrew? 21 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:29,910 I don't know where anything is. It's like Dresden back there. 22 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,070 - It isn't that bad. - It is. 23 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:34,594 For one thing, didn't you have a cat? 24 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:36,477 Oh, yeah. Where'd he go? 25 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:38,710 - I found him. - Nipsy! Brilliant. 26 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:40,711 No. You don't want to see him. 27 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,429 - Ooh, ow, ow! - What's up with you? 28 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:47,318 I get terrible cramp when I'm stressed. 29 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,038 Why are you stressed? 30 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:52,430 I open the fridge, there's shin bandages next to the cheese. 31 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:55,193 - That's just a little... - There's jam in the bath. 32 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:58,590 - Oh, come on! - You're a filth wizard. 33 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:01,558 Friend only to the pig and the rat. 34 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,915 Ugh. Look. 35 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:08,278 Pizza. I was gonna warm and eat it later. Everybody does that. 36 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:11,909 That's normal. You want things to complain about. 37 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,956 And what are these? 38 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:16,159 Wasps. 39 00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:23,108 Everything's covered in filth. Look. 40 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:28,675 The whole place is a complete mess. You can't find anything. 41 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:33,117 Right now, I'm eating scrambled egg with a comb, from a shoe! 42 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:38,636 I really must insist you send someone immediately. 43 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:40,392 All right, later today. 44 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,675 Tomorrow, then. But first thing. 45 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:45,752 All right, after lunch. But just after lunch. 46 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:47,796 Six o'clock. Perfect. 47 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:19,352 ♪ La la la la la ♪ 48 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:22,000 You are wearing a dress. 49 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:25,117 What do you... what do you think? 50 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:27,031 - Occasion? - I've got a date. 51 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:29,953 Ben. Divorcé, very good-looking. 52 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,156 Nice arse. 53 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,234 - A first for me. - You've never had a nice one? 54 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:39,915 No. And I know they exist cos I've seen them on the telly. 55 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:41,956 You? Had one? 56 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:45,631 It was when I went with Janine 57 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:48,837 and I don't know if it was nice, but it was... huge. 58 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:51,673 So there was this tremendous sense of value. 59 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:56,038 Well, to be honest, if he had three arses I wouldn't care. 60 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,509 I've read this sentence 25 times. 61 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,433 This guy's special, he's not like the others. 62 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:03,033 He's not another Curt. 63 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:05,156 The violinist? He seemed all right. 64 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:08,437 No, he was very gum-diseasey. 65 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:11,159 Or Raymond. Do you remember Raymond? 66 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:13,959 What was his thing? Didn't he live with his mother? 67 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:15,792 Yeah. 68 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:17,791 In a car. 69 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:21,156 - Tactics? - I'm gonna be really good. 70 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:23,595 I'm not gonna say anything stupid. 71 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:28,356 I'm not gonna be nervous. Just nice and responsive and caring. 72 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,874 On no account must he see the real you. 73 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,349 No, no. 74 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,874 - Fran. - Yeah? 75 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:38,679 It's a very nice dress. 76 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:43,914 What's that? 77 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,958 It's my new laugh with a turn? 78 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:50,515 The turn's all right. Lose the laugh. 79 00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:00,074 - Dirty. - Ah! 80 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:03,118 - Who are you? - Who am I? 81 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,236 I'll tell you who I am. 82 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,550 I'm the cleaner. 83 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:15,589 Second degree unspecified soiling, zones B through K. 84 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:20,276 North ceiling corner. 85 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:24,672 Cobweb containing a number of deceased arachnids... 86 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:26,159 with beans. 87 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:31,237 Why did you call this man into my house? 88 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:34,790 I love toffee. Don't know why I don't eat toffee all the time. 89 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,677 Ow! My tooth! 90 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:38,751 - Ow! - I'm asking you a question! 91 00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:42,515 - Why did you get this freak? - I had to. You made me. 92 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:46,639 Well, I don't trust him. He has no nasal hair! 93 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:50,349 Anyway, why do we need him? The place isn't that bad. 94 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:59,118 This is going to take some time. 95 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:02,272 Everything's very... dirty. 96 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:07,388 You have grime under the taps, that's very nasty. 97 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:11,792 The state of the bathroom is... shameful. 98 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:14,110 And the dust... Oh, the dust. 99 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,270 The place isn't that dusty! 100 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:26,076 The worst thing is the cups. 101 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:31,314 Yes. You have very, very dusty... 102 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:32,753 cups' 103 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:35,877 I want to clean your dusty cups from the inside out. 104 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:38,599 OK, I'm just gonna go and sit over here. 105 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:41,513 Anything else about cleaning, you can ask Manny. 106 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:44,956 Very well. Do you have anywhere to stay? 107 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:48,635 So that I can get to... work? 108 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:50,358 We have to leave the house? 109 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,159 Oh, this is a big job. You can stay if you want to. 110 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,231 Some people prefer to leave. 111 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,231 Freddie asked us to house-sit. 112 00:07:57,320 --> 00:08:00,392 We're not going anywhere! We're not house-sitting. 113 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,357 What are you doing? 114 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,113 Some ash fell, I'm just wiping it into my trousers. 115 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:07,589 Filthy... 116 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:09,989 Whatever am I going to do with you? 117 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:15,320 It's terribly sweet of both of you. 118 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,994 It's marvellous you can look after the place. 119 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,435 Pleasure. 120 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:25,919 - Sorry. - Sorry. 121 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,592 Sorry. 122 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:30,592 We may have been drinking before. 123 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:32,511 No, no, I'm sorry. 124 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,319 It was clearly a very silly place to put it. 125 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,994 We have another one, although... 126 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:40,878 I would ask you to be careful of that 127 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:44,191 because it is the only one left in the world... now. 128 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:46,191 Erm, heating. 129 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:50,319 Ah, I see you're an aficionado of, er... paintings. 130 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:51,719 Oh, yes, yes. 131 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:56,278 It's a cow. 132 00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:57,998 Mm. Yes. 133 00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,469 - You like art? - Oh, yes. 134 00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:04,314 Especially late... art. 135 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:08,552 Yes. I mean, the way he's captured the... look, 136 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:12,633 the cow's looking over there, we can't see what the cow's seeing. 137 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:17,032 Maybe the art is saying cows know something we don't. 138 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:21,238 Yes. It's French, apparently, from the Dutch school. 139 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:25,154 - Yes. Brown. - I don't know what his name is. 140 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:29,518 The timer, the thermostat, the thingy, control. 141 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:32,034 - It's in the cellar. Follow me. - OK. 142 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:34,031 Manny, I have to go and wee-wee. 143 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:36,031 Now, this is very important. 144 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:43,156 ...poured it all over the canapé. 145 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:49,712 - That's an unusual laugh. - Is it? Sorry. 146 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:54,952 What's wrong with your wine? 147 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:57,031 Nothing. I just drink slowly. 148 00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:59,350 I get undressed slowly. 149 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,872 I think I can manage that. 150 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:08,030 That's on, that's off. 151 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:12,078 No, no. That's on, that's off. 152 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:17,992 Oh, and, ah... please feel free to enjoy the wine 153 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:20,036 but this is very important. 154 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,270 Anything here is fine, 155 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:25,318 you can drink as many bottles as you want. 156 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:31,270 But these ten here, now, please, don't touch them. 157 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:32,713 Don't even move them. 158 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,836 - These are very special. - Right. 159 00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:38,629 I'm presenting one to the Pope at the end of the month. 160 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:40,790 Really? Wow. What for? 161 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:43,633 Oh, I have a cousin who's a Cardinal, Roy. 162 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:46,598 And these trumped up charges, 163 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:51,231 some nonsense about him punching Sophia Loren in a nightclub. 164 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:54,915 And the Pope, who really is a lovely, lovely man, 165 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:58,072 he made the whole thing... go away. 166 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:02,711 There are some books on wine upstairs as well. 167 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,997 Sometimes it's jolly to know what one's drinking. 168 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:08,514 Ah, Bernard, Manny will fill you in. 169 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,875 I must just say goodbye to the dogs. 170 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:13,633 - Right, what's the thing? - Very simple. 171 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:17,030 - Very simple, very simple. - OK, so what is it? What? 172 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:20,430 We can only drink these ten bottles here. 173 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:22,590 - Just these? - Yeah. These... 174 00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:25,148 completely out of bounds - can't touch. 175 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:28,357 - Just these ones, then? - These, just these ones. 176 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:32,638 OK. Thank God you were here, I'd have said the other way around. 177 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:38,829 Old wine is good wine. 178 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,434 Yes. But... 179 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:46,229 expensive wine is good wine also. 180 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:51,474 Yes. But the older the wine is, the gooder it is. 181 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,796 Ah. But by the same token, 182 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:59,795 the more expensive the wine, then the gooder it is also. 183 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:03,271 - Look at the colours. - Yeah. 184 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:07,194 All... all the colours. Well, yellow. 185 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:11,273 This is like... a farmyard of... of wine. 186 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:15,916 It's like looking into the eye of a duck. 187 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:21,716 And sucking all the fluid from its beak. 188 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:26,476 ...touché. And because you win, you get to go to the cellar. 189 00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:28,391 Hey! 190 00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:32,151 Music's a bit boring, isn't it? 191 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,629 I wonder if they'd let me put my tape on? 192 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,472 All my favourite songs on here. 193 00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:39,074 I'm a giant ear... 194 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:42,516 waiting for your songs of niceness. 195 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:11,917 Will you just look at these... breasts? 196 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,391 Wait until you hear this. 197 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,956 Ah! Wine! Ah ha ha! 198 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:30,151 No, no, no! 199 00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:32,800 Drink me! Drink me! Drink me! 200 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:36,395 Boys, boys, boys. You! 201 00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:40,519 "Le Vin du Rosier." 202 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:43,034 That'll do. 203 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,951 Got one! 204 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:50,596 Aha, more fuel. Hand over, thank you. 205 00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:55,392 Mind your leg... 206 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:43,629 It was a crazy, crazy time for me. 207 00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:45,756 A short spell in the navy. 208 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:49,116 Ooh. Climb aboard, Cap... Captain. 209 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,953 And now I'm in antiques. Unbelievable. 210 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,873 Wow. Quite the renaissance man. 211 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:57,235 About then my divorce came through 212 00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:00,517 and I've never been able to settle on one woman since. 213 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,592 It's like I'm... Oh, I don't know, cruising. 214 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:05,830 Oh, oh! 215 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:10,914 ♪ ... and California and I've sipped champagne from a shoe ♪ 216 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:29,071 Look. Bernard. 217 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:32,072 Bernard. Look. Bernard. 218 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,515 Bernard. Look. 219 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:38,149 Bernard. Bernard. Bernard. 220 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:42,199 Bernard. Bernard. Look, Bernard. 221 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:45,317 Bernard. Bernard! Bernard, look. 222 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:50,269 Bernard. Bernard. Bernard. Bernard, look. 223 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:52,635 Look. Look, Bernard. 224 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:55,439 Bernard. Bernard, look. 225 00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:58,557 Look. Bernard. Bernard. 226 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,274 - Bernard! - What?! 227 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:04,511 Look. I'm a prostitute robot from the future. 228 00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:10,832 Yes. Listen to the rubbish in this book. 229 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:14,794 "Don't drink burgundy in a boat." 230 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:17,838 What does that mean? Wine is just for enjoyment. 231 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,434 You speak the truth, my friend. Look at this. 232 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:24,877 I looked this up. It says it's worth £7,000! 233 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:27,633 Nonsense. That's the normal, everyday... 234 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:31,110 normal everyday drinking wine Freddie gave us, 235 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:34,351 not the really expensive out-of-bounds stuff. 236 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:38,831 That's from the cheap and dusty wine on the... on the right. 237 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:42,230 Not the clean, expensive wine on the left. 238 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:48,958 Not the, not the... that's the cheap and dusty. 239 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:51,713 Not the clean, expensive... 240 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:56,351 Now that I think of it, there's stickers from Londis on them. 241 00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:59,830 There isn't any chance, is there, that you somehow 242 00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:02,753 managed to direct us to drink not the cheap wine 243 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,638 but the unbelievably rare and expensive wine? 244 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:10,711 How much did you say the wine cost?! 245 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,758 Seven... thousand pounds. 246 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:16,434 Well, I've got £3.50 on me. What have you got? 247 00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:19,239 Don't panic. Is that what you're doing? 248 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:21,436 Yes. I'm sort of dancing in a panicky way. 249 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:25,069 Well, stop. We'll think about this and figure a way out. 250 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:27,196 Here's a thought. 251 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:30,317 Don't say no immediately cos it could sound crazy. 252 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:33,710 Could we... burn down the house? 253 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,473 No, that's absurd. Think, Bernard, think! 254 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,599 - What about a gift? - Oh! A gift. 255 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:46,194 - But it'd have to be perfect. - Yes. 256 00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:48,271 A really nice box of pencils? 257 00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:49,679 - No. - I mean... 258 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:51,352 a REALLY nice box. 259 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:55,513 No. If you're gonna give the guy pencils for drinking his wine, 260 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:58,114 you're talking about, you know, magic pencils. 261 00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:00,430 You draw a cow, the cow comes to life! 262 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:02,078 Yeah. Sorry, yeah. 263 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,276 We'll make some more! 264 00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:06,669 We'll use the cheap stuff, nobody'll know. 265 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,797 But this cost £7,000. He's presenting this to the Pope! 266 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:13,156 - He won't know. - He's used to the finer things. 267 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:17,074 It's all waffle! Nobody will admit wine doesn't have a taste. 268 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:18,991 But you can't taste anything. 269 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,753 You smoke eight bajillion cigarettes a day! 270 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:23,478 - What's that? - What? 271 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,120 - What are you eating? - A delicious biscuit. 272 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,430 It's a coaster. 273 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:31,636 Is it? Are there more? Anyway... 274 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:35,156 - Do they describe the wine? - Yes, I think so. 275 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:36,832 - Ow! Ohhh! - What? 276 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:39,593 Cramp. I'm very stressed, very stressed. 277 00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:41,079 Use the Shiatsu machine. 278 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:44,318 Oh, yeah... 279 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:45,833 Ah! Oh! Ow! 280 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:48,753 Oh! Ow! Oh! 281 00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:50,751 Ah! Oh! 282 00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:54,515 So, Ben. Who's the real Ben, Ben? 283 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,797 What can I tell you? Didn't have a good time at school. 284 00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,440 - Didn't feel comfortable? - Mmm. 285 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,192 - So I sort of... - Retreated? 286 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,158 - Into a private fantasy world? - Yeah. 287 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:07,151 - I always... - Got on well with women? 288 00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:09,231 - And... - They helped you feel normal. 289 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:10,958 - But... - Something was wrong. 290 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:14,715 Something that occasionally stops you sleeping. 291 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,268 How could you possibly know all this? 292 00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:19,920 Just a hunch. 293 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,036 Tell me, Ben. 294 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,993 How many times a day do you talk to your mother? 295 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:29,798 Eh? God, I don't know. 296 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:33,077 I mean, the normal amount - four, five times a day? 297 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,159 Yes. 298 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:41,028 Ben, I've got something to tell you. 299 00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:44,430 And it might come as a bit of a shock, but you are... 300 00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:47,557 No. Question. 301 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:50,279 What do the following people have in common? 302 00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:53,796 Elton John, lan McKellan, Jean-Paul Gaultier. 303 00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:57,231 Well, they're all fabulous. 304 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,518 What are you doing? 305 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,478 I'm chewing the cork to get it back in the bottle. 306 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:08,391 - Ow! Oh! - What? 307 00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:11,040 My tooth! It's come loose. It hurts! 308 00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:13,759 A trace of vanilla. Do we have any vanilla? 309 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:15,558 - Ice cream? - Yes! Yes! 310 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,995 I'll check the freezer. 311 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:27,596 They'd all laugh at me if they knew what I was trying to do. 312 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:32,231 To create a new superwine with a fraction of nature's resources 313 00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:34,550 and a FOOL for an assistant. 314 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,950 "Bernard Black, he's mad!" They'd say. "He's dangerous." 315 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,270 I'll show them! I'll show them all! 316 00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:42,555 I have returned! 317 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:46,349 - Nutmeg! We need nutmeg! - Nutmeg! 318 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:48,954 It's my destiny! My legacy to the world! 319 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:52,157 Anything else? With the limp, I'm getting tired. 320 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:54,629 - Just get the nutmeg! - Nutmeg! 321 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:57,996 - Oh, it's just here. - Ah. 322 00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:00,389 "An oaky finish." Oak! Oak! 323 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,675 To the front garden! 324 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,277 What is this? 325 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:18,591 This isn't oak! Why did you get so much? 326 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:29,310 Manny, get back in! Get back in! 327 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:48,558 Here it is! Yes! 328 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,040 Now, dust, dust. 329 00:22:06,120 --> 00:22:09,317 He'll never know. He'll never know! 330 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:13,359 It's all so clear. I've been fighting this all my life. 331 00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:17,035 Why am I fighting it? Thank you, Fran. 332 00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:19,793 You've saved my life, you have saved my life! 333 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:22,952 I'm really... very, very happy for you. 334 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:26,635 Happy. I'm happy. Really. I'm so happy. 335 00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:36,233 ♪ Jam-jam-jam, jam-jam-jam ♪ 336 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:44,477 Bleugh. 337 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:51,832 Sorry. Oh, hello. 338 00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:55,799 That is a very, very nice dress. Paper? 339 00:22:57,840 --> 00:22:59,796 - Another date? - Yep. 340 00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:02,394 This time I might be onto something. 341 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,675 He's a very interesting young man. 342 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:08,150 - You know him, actually. - Really? Who? 343 00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:14,639 Bye, Bernard. 344 00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:18,030 - Dirty. - Oh, you flirt. 345 00:23:18,120 --> 00:23:19,269 Dirty! 346 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,236 - Oh, my God. - What? 347 00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:33,949 - Oh, my God! - What? What? 348 00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:39,674 It's the 19th. It's my birthday! 25634

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