All language subtitles for Wheels of Fortune.(2020).(1080p).(WEB-DL).(HD)_ENG

Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org

♪ One two three four ♪

- Whoo!
- Whoa!

♪ I just want to celebrate
another day of living ♪

Oh, that's not good!

♪ I just want to celebrate ♪

Gah!

That's definitely not good!

Johnny boy!

Come on! Come on!
Agh!

♪ So I turn the other way
and I carry on ♪

♪ Anyhow ♪

Seriously?
Oh, this not my day!

♪ I just want to celebrate
another day of life ♪

I'm alive.

Oh, I'm alive.

I'm alive!

Oh!

- Hi.
- Oh, my god.

You still work
for this old fool?

Good to see you, too,
Chrissy.

- Hey, Oswald.
- Hello, Terry...

Jason.

We've met, like,
fifteen times.

- Bunch of times.
- Yeah.

It's good to
see you again.

So, I have some
bad news for you guys.

- Oh...
- I'm sorry to say

that the doctors
did all they could,

but you should
say your goodbyes.

Children.

Hey, dad.
Hey, buddy.

Look, I know this is
probably a bad time,

but I just wanted you to know
that I'm totally ready

to take over the company,
uh, if you don't,

um... live.

Dad?

Oh, hi, oh,
you poor thing.

You've been grooming me
my entire life for this moment,

and I'm ready to
take over the company.

Wait, I'm sorry.

I just said
that I would do that.

You don't even know
what the company does.

Chrissy.

You're my oldest.

Favorite.

- He didn't say favorite.
- He implied.

Oswald, my son.

Less favorite.

- Male heir.
- Hmm.

I haven't decided yet who's
gonna take over the company.

There's something
I haven't told you.

Come close.

I have another child.

- What?
- What?

Balr...

Beaur...

- Oh, God.
- Oh!

- Bora?
- That is very loud.

Bora?

Beauregard Davis Jackson.

That's me
and I am a winner.

But it wasn't
always that way.

Actually, this is the
end of the movie.

Let's go back
to the beginning.

That's little me
racing a motorbike

I built out
of spare parts.

Guess who won
the semifinals?

I did!
Look at that!

And there's my best friends,

Mandy and Noodle,

cheering me on.

Oh, yeah, and that's
Mandy's cousin Eskandar.

All I had to do is
win one more race

and I'd be the champion.

Nothing could possibly
go wrong now.

Oh, come on.

My fuckin' clutch cable
broke in half.

If it's broke
then I'm done.

Then there's Tommy.

He's one of my friends.
He's got cool hair.

He tried to give me
a clutch cable,

- but his dad...
- Hey, hold on there, son.

Well, he had
a different idea.

That clutch cable
cost ten dollars.

I don't have any money.

Well, if I'm gonna be
stuck paying for it,

my boy here is gonna
ride in the finals.

So, I fixed it.

I let Tommy ride
my bike and, of course,

he won on the bike I built.

And that's where I learned
a very valuable lesson.

Tommy was a winner because
he had money and a dad

and I was a loser because
I was broke and fatherless.

That's my tractor.

I built her from
the tires up.

She's about to
complete a full pull.

Red, white,
and blue, baby!

Whoo!

But that's not me.
That's Tommy.

Yep, same Tommy.

Big mullet,
even bigger asshole.

Ever since he won that race
when we were kids.

We are
looking at a pull-off

to settle this one,
ladies and gentlemen.

And there's me, grease monkey
and Tommy's head mechanic.

But this scratcher here
could pay me $8,000!

But, of course,
it did not.

Both
drivers have 20 minutes

to report for the final pull.

This is my best bud Noodle.

People think he's slow,
but I think he's well-paced.

He has a condition
called IBS,

but mostly
it's just diarrhea.

What'd I miss?

Tommy and Flint are
centered on a pull-off.

- He's gotta race again?
- Yep.

Well, it sounded like the
valves were sticking.

I'll get the engine cleaner.

Where in the goddamn hell
have you taken us?

This is where
Phineus' other son works.

Oh, can-can
you not call him that?

What, his son?

Yeah, I just... I'm used
to being his only son,

so it's weird.

Well, he's got
another son now.

He's got two sons.

I could fire you.

No, you really can't.

I've been assigned
to execute the will.

Fine. Fine.

Well, can we just
get on with it

so that we can get
the hell out of here?

Yes, yes, uh, this
is the next bit here.

Does the guy get
the company or what?

It's more complicated
than that, all right?

It's spelled out in steps.

Well, what are they,
Jason?

I don't know!
All I have is this,

this challenge
for his son.

- Uh, you did it again.
- Sorry.

Give me that paper!
Give me the paper.

I'm gonna handle this.

Well, wait. Hold on!
I've gotta...

Okay, Noodle,
rev the engine!

Noodle, rev the...

What are...

Good God in heaven!

What's she doing?

I dunno.

- Is she...
- No!

She's comin' right at us.

What did you do?

Nothing.

Act natural.
Act natural!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hello there, Miss.

Can I help you
with something?

I'm looking for the driver
of this monstrosity.

That would be me.

- You're the driver?
- Yeah, that's right.

We've got a pull-off
in about ten minutes

if you wanna stick around
and watch me pull off.

I don't know what
the fuck that means.

Who's he?

Well, he's an idiot
and my mechanic.

Well, he's who
I'm here to see.

Okay, wait a minute now.
You need a mechanic?

Because I'm actually
pretty handy with a tool.

Ew, get the fuck
out of my way.

Get the fuck
out of my way!

Beauregard Davis Jackson?

Yes, that is my name.

Do you know who
your father was?

Sore subject, but, uh, no,
I never met my father.

Do you know who
Phineus Davis is?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He plays a guitar for this,
uh, Drooling Banjos

over at McNeer's.

Oof, fuck no.
You do this.

Well, you gave it your
college try, didn't you?

Hi, Mr. Jackson, my name
is Jason Wilmore.

I'm one of
Phineus Davis' attorneys.

You have soft hands.

Oh, I, um, I use
a lot of lotion.

Thank you.

- You say you're a lawyer?
- Yes.

Okay.

Everyone was drunk that night,
especially the band.

Yeah... No, no, no.

Phineus Davis didn't play
guitar in some local band.

He was one of the richest
men in the world

and he died two days ago.

Well, I didn't kill him,

if that's what
you're getting at.

No one thinks you
killed him, Mr. Jackson.

He was your birth father

and he may have left you
some money in his will.

Well, okay.
All right!

Yeah, I'll take it,
uh, in a check,

or maybe small bills.

Uh, no, I'm sorry.

It's a little more
complicated than that.

He wrote this
letter to you.

Can I read it?

No, I can read it myself.

I know how to read.

Dear Beauregard, I have
been following your life

and I think you have
grown into a fine man.

Your mother and I shared
a wonderful night

in the Pinkie Pizza Arcade
many years ago.

You were conceived either
on the Pop-A-Shot machine

or in the ball pit.

Probably a Pop-A-Shot.

He could hit like
20 free throws in a row.

Good to know.

Either way, it was
a glorious beginning.

I am sorry that
I abandoned you,

but I can now make it
all up to you

as long as you prove
that you have what it takes

to be a winner.

What the hell is this?

It means you have
to win, you know?

Just maybe keep reading,
unless you need a break.

Your first task is to get
in that driver's seat

where you are now,

win a tractor pull event
as the driver,

and you will begin
your journey.

Do me proud, son.
Your father, Phineus.

I'm supposed to win
a tractor pull event?

Well, you have to get in
the driver's seat now.

So, you have to win this
tractor pull, today.

Hey, uh, Tommy?

No! No fuckin' way!

- But...
- Bu-bu-but...

I don't give
a good googley shit

about all this, okay?

I'm the driver.
You're the fixer.

End of discussion.

Okay.

So, that's it then?

Yeah, I'm sorry,
Mr. Lawyer,

but, uh, yeah,
yeah, that's it.

You don't want to maybe
offer this guy a...

Hey, buddy, why don't you
let them get back to work?

Yeah.

Well, I guess
we are done here then.

Nice to meet you,
Mr. Jackson.

- Yeah.
- I'm sorry for your loss.

Yeah, thanks
for playing, Toolbox.

You're...
do you have to...?

Well, you boys want
to get your dick-beaters

out of your little assholes
and get back to work?

Finish this baby up
so I can go to the pull off.

Now, I'm gonna
go help you guys out

and lighten the load.

That was a colossal
waste of time.

Can we just get the hell
out of here?

He's not going to drive
the tractor, so let's go.

Well, I have to make sure.

Fine.

So, if we're staying,
can I get a corndog?

That was wild, huh?

Yeah, whatever.

Well, it sounds like you
only gotta win one race,

and you could win
a lot of money.

What am I supposed to do,
kill Tommy?

You don't have to kill him
to stop him from racing.

Well, then what
would you suggest?

Bo...

The green one's
his precious.

I know he's in there.

You sure this will fit?

I know these shitters
like the back of my hand.

It'll fit.

Yeah, but what
if someone comes behind

and lets him out?

I thought of that.
Read this sign.

Oh.

Did you draw that?

- Yeah.
- Well, shit with a shovel.

That's pretty good.

Thanks.

Oh...

Oh, that hurt.

Nope, nope, take it easy,
take it easy.

Let her come to you.
Let her come to you.

Don't go anywhere.
Bo's racing in the pull off.

Oh, holy shit!

That is a trophy winner
right there.

You can do this, Bo.

You know this tractor
better than Tommy does.

Plus, we built this engine
from scratch.

What did Flanderson pull?

- 185 feet.
- 185 feet!

That's...
That's nothin'.

This machine
can crush that.

With a double load?

Don't worry about that.
You've got this.

Yeah, I got this.

You're the man!

I'm the man.

Folks, we have
a replacement driver

for the final pull.

Hey, somebody
open this door!

Sitting in for Tommy Mullin

is local bastard child
Bo Jackson.

Oh, god! Oh, shoot,
was that your foot?

I'm sorry.

Oh, my god.
Oh...

All right, so this is,
uh, called, I think,

the final pull.

They already did
one before,

and then he has to
go longer than the guy

that just finished,
I think.

Oh, my god,
I could give a shit.

- I'm just trying to...
- Would you shut up?

I thought you wanted to...

Like I could literally
give a shit. Shut up!

Putting your mechanic

in the driver's seat
for a pull off.

I hear my tractor!

I ain't seen
nothing like that before.

Hey!

What the fuck
just happened?

I have no idea.

You sons of bitches!

Agh! Oh, shit!

It's official, folks!

That bastard
pulled 196 feet.

- I guess he won then.
- That's a new pull-off record.

Huh!

Now, let's hear it
one more time

for today's big winner,
Bastard Jackson.

Here I am!

Just look at
those dance moves, people.

I thought this was

the greatest moment
of my life.

I was wrong.

A whole bunch of shit's
about to happen.

Please tell me that my dad
is not leaving the company

to some redneck who
won a tractor race

with only one tractor
in it.

No, no, no, no.
It's not over.

There's a lot more
to do it seems.

All right, apparently
he has to podium in

four different racing events
over the next three weeks

all around the country.

That may be
the dumbest fucking thing

I've ever heard.

Super dumb.

And each podium finish
is worth $5,000.

But if you can stand on
the podium in all four events,

the reward will be more
than you can even imagine.

Well, I can imagine
a whole fuckin' lot.

Well, it is, honestly,
a whole f-in' lot.

Huh...

You know, there is
a motocross event in,

uh, Whitefield that we
can go to next Saturday.

No, no.
No, wait, wait.

You have to, um...
here, can you...

Um, just... I'll hold this.

Mr. Davis' instructions here.

This is, uh...
You put your thumb...

put your thumb
on that reader

on that side like this,
like I am.

I'm not putting
my thumb on there.

That's-that's the only way
to get the information.

Nothing's written
on my thumb.

It's your...
no, your print.

Everyone has a unique...
just put...

if you would just put
it there, I... I swear.

I've seen that on "Cops".

What just happened?

That was so cool.

Wheatland?
What is that?

Wheatland, that's
your first destination.

I'm guessing there's
more instructions.

If you'll open
the envelope, we'll see.

I can't be driving
all the way to Missouri.

Bo, it's five grand
if you get to the podium.

Yeah, but it's no grand
if I don't.

I mean, how am I supposed
to get there anyway?

What if we took mom...
I mean Mandy's RV?

Noodle, we cannot afford to
just go driving around America.

Well, it does come with
$100 a day for you

and $100 for anyone
on your team.

Yeah, we probably did
just lose our jobs

locking him in
that portable bathroom.

What happened now?

Looks like we're going
to Wheatland!

Oh, wait.

We gotta get
a team name first.

Uh, you're Bo.

Yeah.

- And you're Noodle.
- I'm Noodle.

Bo-No?

Team Bono?

- No, that's that singer.
- That's a singer.

That's a singer.

- Team Bena...
- Ba-no-do?

- Butthole.
- Boner?

- Boovie.
- Boodle?

Boodle?

Well, shit yeah,
that's it!

- Team Boodle!
- Team Boodle!

Let's go get Mandy.

Well, they are
interesting guys.

Go fuck yourself.

Eloquent, as always, I see.

- Oh, hey!
- Hey.

- Hi.
- What'd I miss?

Uh, kinda everything.

Okay.

We'll just go
back there, okay.

I need a hot dog
right now!

- Order up!
- All right.

All right,
have a nice day.

This is Mandy.

She grew up to be
really pretty.

She also grew up to be
Noodle's stepmom

when Noodle's dad decided
to marry the babysitter.

All right, Mandy,
here you go!

And, uh, that's
Mandy's cousin, Eskandar.

You're probably not used
to holding this much meat

in your little hands.
Here you go.

Hey, Mandy.

What are you
doing here, Noodle?

I told you never
bother me at work.

Bo and I need
to borrow your RV.

Oh, hi, Bo.

How's it going, Mandy?

Where y'all
going in an RV?

We gotta go to Missouri.

Oh, hell no! Y'all ain't
taking my rig to Missouri.

We're getting paid
$100 a day each.

Are you running
drugs, Noodle?

- No.
- Well, forget it.

I need my rig to get back
and forth to work.

Skanner, give
me those beef chips!

Hold your horses!

Hey, Mandy,
I've got an idea.

If you join our team,
then you can come

and you get
$100 a day, too.

A hundred dollars a day?

- Yeah.
- For me?

He said $100 a day for
each person on my team.

So if you're on the team,
then you get $100.

All right, let's go.

Eskandar, we quit.

- We quit?
- Yeah, come on.

I just... I have to get
this back to them.

Hey!

Mr. Lawyer!

Now that we're
going to Missouri,

what do we do next?

I don't know.
All right?

Take this.

The instructions are
in there I'm sure.

Okay.

Keep your panties on.

Oh, my god.
Let's go.

Oh, wait, you're not
coming with us.

What are
you talking about?

Well, someone has to keep
an eye on those idiots!

Well, I don't have a car.

No, not in a car.

You're gonna
ride with them.

Oh, no, no.

Not in that hunk of junk.

Jason...

You like working
for this company, right?

Yeah.

Well, your boss is dead.

Do you want to work
for those rednecks

or do you want
to work under me?

You keep an eye on them
and then I'll take care of you

when I take over
the company.

Hop to, bitch.

That kinda hurts.

- Get in.
- Oww! My nachos!

Um...

Could maybe
Oswald be the...

- What do you want?
- Hey, Beauregard.

Um, funny thing.

It turns out that
I'm supposed to, uh,

ride along with you guys.

You can't ride with us.

No, it's just for the will.
To keep an eye on you.

- Who's got our money?
- I do.

Oh, well then come on in!

- Okay.
- Get in here!

Thank you.

Oh, my god.

Welcome, welcome!
Home sweet home.

All right, I'm gonna have
to get my shots.

There's some tequila
up there.

No, not that kind of shot.

Like a-a
vaccination against...

What's that?

It's where the government
tries to control you

through your bloodstream.

Hey, uh, professional legal guy,
this is our crew.

Mandy, she's my stepmom.

Wait, with your what?

She looks like she's
the same age as you.

Yeah, I know.
We all grew up together.

Uh, she was my babysitter,
then my mom.

Actually, Mandy and I
went to prom together.

Yeah, show him
the picture.

No, I don't need
to see that.

No, that's... okay.

I had it printed out
at Walmart.

That's the two of us
right here.

That's me, that's her.

I... I recognize you.

The theme was
Thong Song of the Sea.

That was our song.
Thong Song of the Sea.

That was our jam.

That's not the song name.

There's a popular song
by Sisqo?

Yeah, no, I know,
Thong Song.

It's not "of the sea."

♪ Thong-thong-thong-thong ♪

There's no by
the sea part.

Hey, lawyer,
when do we get paid?

I'll give it to you
when we stop.

No! I want it now!

What are you gonna do
with it? We're driving.

Oh!

Please do not do that.

Do what, this?

Oh, holy god!

- That's not funny.
- Yeah, it is.

No, I could get
seriously hurt.

"I could get
seriously hurt."

- "I could get seriously hurt."
- "I could get seriously hurt."

That is not what
I sound like.

That's exactly
what you sound like.

No, it is not!

I'm pretty good
at impressions.

- Yeah, he is.
- Not of me!

- Poor baby.
- Yeah, "not of me!"

No, no, that
doesn't sound...

I am not gonna die
in this RV.

Hey, Mandy,
he bruised his vagina!

Can I please sit here?

Sure.
You want a chip?

No, I don't want a chip.
I want to live.

Hey, mom.

Noodle, you know I hate
when you call me that.

How fast are we
going, mom?

Fast enough.

It sounds like
we're going about 45.

Right you are,
45 exactly.

How did you know that?

I'm an engine whisperer.

That's a thing?

Mm-hmm, it's
a God-given gift.

Ever since he
was a little guy.

- I got big ears.
- Mandy, speed up!

We're not going to
get there on time

if you don't drive faster.

I'm going as
fast as I can!

Come on, Eskie,
you get in there.

- Me?
- No!

- No, no, no!
- Get in there, get in there!

- No, no, no, we're fine.
- It's my RV! My RV!

No one's at the wheel!

It's fine, it's fine.

I hate you!

- Hands off! Hands off!
- I can drive myself!

Jesus! Oh, my...

- We're all good.
- That is...

That was really
not safe.

It's fine.
They do it all the time.

Oh, you're about
to see not safe.

Whoo!

Okay.
Here we go.

Drum roll, please.

Ah, shit!

- What is it?
- Oh, no!

I got a paper cut!

Oh, just put
some Crisco on it.

- No!
- Run it under water.

Just give me
a minute, okay?

Just give me a minute.

Kiss it.

- Ow! Ow, ow, ow!
- Oh, come on!

Let me see.
Let me see!

I think I need stitches.

Oh, my god!

It's a paper cut.

Who cares, right?

Can we just move on?
Open the letter.

Wow!

What is wrong with you?

You are mean!

Yeah, man.
Have a little compassion.

It's serious.

It's a paper cut.

In 60 seconds he's not even
going to remember it happened.

This is not something
you forget.

This is something
that happened to me.

Oh, yeah?
What hand is it on?

Well, I feel like it
was over here.

Yeah, it was your right hand
'cause you're a righty.

No, I was holding it
with my right hand.

- Oh...
- It was that hand.

We should reenact it.

- Yeah, here.
- Oh, my god! No, stop!

Don't need to do that.

Let's move forward.

Open the letter.

Okay, I'll open
the letter.

Not like that.

Dear Beauregard.
That's me.

Congratulations on making it

to the beautiful
Lucas Oil Speedway.

Is that where we are?

That's where we are.

We're at Lucas Oil Speedway.

How did he know where
we were going to be?

He sent you here.

Is he psychic?

Is my dad psychic?

No! Please continue.

Still, that's weird though.

Makes you think.

- No.
- It does.

- No, please.
- It does.

Just continue.

Find Mr. Carl Renezedner.
What is that?

Rent-A-Center.

Rent-A-Center?

He will get you into
an off-road short course race.

If you can podium...

- Podium?
- Yeah.

You've just gotta make
one, two, or three?

I can.

...your challenge continues.

If not,
your journey ends here.

Your father, Phineus.
Who is dead.

Did he say I love you?

No.

Is that it?

That's it.

What do we...
what do we do now?

We should probably
get some breakfast.

- Oh, yeah.
- No, no, no.

We should find Carl Renezedner
and see when the race is,

find out if you
need to train.

I don't know
if you're good.

Why do you care
what we do?

I don't.

The sooner we do this,

the sooner this whole
thing is done.

I'm getting the feeling
you don't care if I win or not.

Yeah, Jason.

I feel like you're not
on our team.

I'm not.

All right?
This is my job.

All right, I have to see
this whole thing through

for the company I work for.
Does that make sense?

I appreciate
your enthusiasm.

But we don't need
a babysitter.

Yeah.

Remember what happened
when my dad...

- Yep. She fucked his dad.
- I know the story.

'Cause I was married to him
and that was my wifely duty.

All right, look.
Can we...

can we please just
make a plan?

Yeah, we can make a plan.

We'll go find
Mr. Carl Rent-A-Center.

- Fantastic!
- Yeah.

Yes! Let's do that.

You go ahead.
I'll be right behind you.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Okay, yeah, let's go
find this guy.

- All right.
- See you after breakfast!

Oh, no, no, no, no!

You said you were coming!

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god!
It is hot.

Hey, Mr. Lawyer, look!

- Oh, real nice.
- Look who I found.

It's Carl Rent-A-Center.

Yeah, and that's
his crew chief, too.

- Hi. Yeah, hi.
- I'm Jason...

I'm sorry, we don't have
time for introductions.

- We have work to do.
- Gotta work.

All right,
thank you for...

- We didn't need you.
- No.

Hey, how the hell?

Oh, we just ran into them
at the truck stop.

Well, how'd you know
it was them?

His name is on, like,
everything they wear.

Oh, yeah.

You want a chip?

I do not want a chip.
I want water.

All right now, Bo,

you're gonna have
to move faster than that.

I know it's just
a practice truck,

but it's still
got plenty of power.

Okay.

Come on, Bo,
you can do this.

Woo!

Punch it over that jump!

Damn!

I think I'm gonna
floor it!

Whoo-hoo!

Oh, no!

Oh, my god,
is he okay?

That was a good first lap,
there, Bo.

That was good?

You're still alive,
aren't you?

Yeah.

I did not like going
upside down.

Well, you didn't
actually go upside down.

You just spun out
a little bit.

No, I... I went
upside down.

I'm pretty sure.

Just keep it on all fours
and you'll be just fine.

No, my...
my vision went white,

I saw some people that
I haven't seen in a while.

Did he go upside down?

Nope.

All right, let's get into
our second lap, Bo.

Okay, here we go.

Whoo!

♪ You like to fade in ♪

♪ You like to fade out ♪

♪ You and your wicked smile ♪

♪ That's overrated ♪

That's it,
Bo, that's it!

Whoo!

♪ So you're gonna
find a way ♪

Yay for me!

Oh, man, that was cool!

Man, I went so fast.

Oh, man, this thing works!

- Yeah.
- That was awesome.

- Oh, yeah.
- Boodle!

Nope!

You were fantastic, Bo.

Thank you so much, Mandy.

You definitely have
your father's genes.

Hey, don't be afraid
to let her fly.

She'll take it.

Okay, I still got
a week to practice.

Yeah. Nothing could
possibly go wrong now.

Oh, man.

Bo!

Woah!

Oh, my god!

You think he's
gonna be all right?

I'm guessing no.

Whoa!

Oh, man, hey, Eskie,
I really appreciate

what you did for me
out there, all right?

- Sorry.
- Shh.

All right, all right,
you just rest now, okay?

We're gonna win
this next one for you.

Yeah, but also
for the money.

Yes, also for the money.

Shut up.
He can hear you.

He can't hear nothing!
He's on so many drugs.

He's up there floating around
with angels and stuff.

Probably gonna write
a book about it,

go on talk shows and stuff
about how heaven was real.

Eskie?

- Hmm?
- Okay, fine.

Eskie, we're gonna win
this one for you!

Okay?

Thank you.

Man!

Oh, man.

Sorry, I just
talk with my hands.

Welcome, race fans,

to the Lucas Oil Speedway.

We've got an exciting day
of racing ahead of us.

- This place is kind of gross.
- Sorry.

Guys, Bo's race
is about to start.

Okay.

I'm Oswald.

I'm... It's Jason.

Hey.

The lawyer for
your dad's company.

Yeah. Oh, I know.

Did you, uh, did you
bring me more clothes?

No, it's gonna be
over after today.

- So, let's just do it.
- Well, I don't know.

He's been practicing
all week.

He kind of a...
a natural.

- What?
- Yeah.

It's like
he's pretty good.

Not cool, Jason.

Not cool.

No, I... well, what am
I supposed to...

All right, race fans.

Are you coming?

Uh, no, I'm gonna meet up
with you guys later.

My nanny never let me
have fried foods, but, uh...

she's not here
right now, is she?

Here we go.

Up next on the track
are the Pro-4 trucks.

We've got a great field
of Pro-4 drivers

out here today, Mike.

Especially the wildcard entry.

A tractor-pull champion
from Tennessee

named Beauregard Jackson.

And fun fact, he's never
met his birth father.

Well, that bastard
is in the gold N17 truck.

This truck's made
out of gold.

All right, Bo,
head on the swivel.

We're about to go green.

My favorite color.

Tractor guy is
starting in the sixth spot.

Might be the best
he does all day.

- Eww!
- It'll be fine.

It'll be fine.

And we are
green, green, green!

Hold on tight for 20 laps
of truck-banging action.

Bradley Morris
moves into the early lead

- followed by...
- Look at Jackson, Bob!

He just might know what
he's doing out there!

That's it, Bo.

I don't know what
I'm doing out here!

Tractor Jackson
is not afraid

to get right in the mix.

I love this guy!

He's got some big ol'
bastard balls on him!

Seven laps in

and Ty LeDuc still
holds onto the lead.

Yeah, Bob, but Tractor Jackson

has climbed all the way
to second place.

He's chasing down LeDuc
like a bat outta hell!

Come on, Bo!

Jackson has leader
Ty LeDuc in his sights.

Jackson might just move
into the lead here.

Oh, LeDuc goes wide.

This is super easy!

And there goes Jackson
into the... Oh!

He got bumped in the turn!

He's losing positions
with every passing second.

He needs to
get back on the gas.

Come on, Trackie!

I'm gonna get that fucker!

Now, Bo, you forget
about that guy.

You just concentrate
on racing.

You get that fucker!

You get that fucker, Bo!
You get him!

Damn! Jackson fell
all the way to seventh, Bob.

I hope he didn't
quit his day job

at the tractor pull.

Now, Mike,
your guy is not done yet.

He's still making
moves out there.

Come on, Bo!

No, Bob.

He just got knocked
right off the course.

He's done.

I'm not done!

I'm coming back!
I'm gonna get back in it!

Oh, Bob, look!

Trackie's back!
He's back in it!

Well, this just doesn't
even seem fair.

Whoo!

Look at this battle
for third, Bob.

Jackson might just find
the podium. Oh!

There's contact between
Jackson and Fortin.

- And they're into the wall.
- Oh, shit.

Hard!

Yep, slam into the wall.

- I think he's out.
- What?

- I think he's out.
- Why are you doing...

This is what we want.
I don't want...

I don't want him
to get hurt.

And that'll bring
out a yellow flag, Bob.

How's the truck?

Engine's still humming.

All right, Bo,
just sit tight.

I'm gonna get
my boys over there

and they're gonna untangle you
from the K-rail.

Dammit, Bo!

The pace car leads the way

as the trucks regroup
for the green flag.

Jackson's team
is working hard

to get him off
that K-rail.

I hope that damage
is only superficial.

All right now, Bo,
I need you get to

the back of the pack
before the restart.

Yeah, I know.

The hood keeps flappin'!

Aww, never mind,
it came off.

And with the track clear,

our drivers are ready
to get back in the action

behind leader
Doug Matag.

All right, Bo,
it's time to get focused.

You're in eighth place

and you only got
four laps to go.

Don't worry, I got this
figured out now.

Well, shit,
that scares me, Bo.

And we are
green, green, green!

Matag's yellow 81 truck

comes out in the lead.

Anderson and Shinney
are chasing him down.

Bob! Bob!

Jackson's moved up
to seventh.

I don't think
he's done yet!

Yes, but he's still
got veterans McAkrin

and LeDuc ahead of him.

LeDuc spun out!

Jackson moves to sixth!

Nice, Bo, nice!

And another pass by Jackson
puts him in fourth!

Ha-ha! Bye, bitch!

You only got one lap to go to
pick up that final position

if you want a podium.

That's all I need.

Matag in the yellow 81
maintains the lead

followed closely by
Anderson and McAkrin.

Do you not see
Jackson in fourth, Bob?

I have a good
feeling Trackie has

a few tricks
up his sleeve.

Oh, there he goes!

Trading paint
with Anderson

as he bumper cars
into second place!

Go, Bo, go.

Jackson just has to hold on

around the final turn
to stand on the podium!

Oh!

Here we go! Here we go!
Here we go!

Matag crosses
the line in first,

McAkrin takes second.

Jackson takes third, Bob!

I knew it!
See, Bob! Booyah!

In your face!

He did it.
He podiumed.

Jason, you're dead to me.

I didn't...
I'm just doing my job.

Umm, enjoy it
while it lasts.

So, I'm still in the RV?

Where you going?

Where'd she go?

It's over, Oswald.

No, it is just beginning.

Mmm. Oh!

♪ Like what-what-what ♪

♪ Let me see that thong ♪

♪ I like it when
the beat goes ♪

♪ Duh dun duh ♪

♪ Girl make your booty go ♪

♪ Duh dun dun ♪

Whoo!

Come on, drink your beer.

Drink your beer!

Drink your beer
or you're a loser!

- Oh, that's what she said.
- Sorry.

Yeah, on that note,
I'm beat.

I'm gonna go to bed.

Okay.

You were really
good today.

- Thank you.
- I'm proud of you.

Goodnight!

Goodnight.

Hey, we should go look for
those Heart Stopper girls.

The pretty ones
from the podium.

Bo?

Oh, no, you go on ahead.
I'm fine.

I'm just gonna stay here
and chill out.

If I bring 'em back here,
you gotta party with us.

Yeah, okay.

- Hell of a night.
- What are you...

You should go in and say
goodnight to Mandy.

I just did, dum-dum.

Not... come on,
you like her, right?

Yeah, of course!
She's my friend.

Yeah, is that all?

No, but... she was
my prom date, too.

And so...

And she's Noodle's mom.

Oh, my god.

- What?
- Forget it.

What are you trying
to get me to say?

Bo, come on.

What?

Okay.

Okay, maybe a couple
of times in my life

I've jerked off to her.

Oh, my god!

-But that's what everyone does.

- Nope, don't need to hear it.
- It's natural.

- She's a pretty girl.
- Nope, I'm going to bed.

I'm going to
get some sleep.

People jerk off
to people...

- Jason! Jason, look!
- Watch the transit!

- Watch the transit.
- While I was racing,

- I came across a jump.
- Yeah.

I came across a jump
like this.

- I was like whoa!
- Whoo!

Ooh!
That was awesome!

This is it.

That's my lawyer.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Well, thanks for a good night
last night, Noodle.

Boop!

- See ya later.
- Yeah.

Noo-dle, where are
your clothes?

I don't remember,
so, they let me wear this.

Hot damn, Noodle!
You're like a sexual dynamo!

I think I might work
for Heart Stoppers now.

Well, hey,
um, so let's do this.

Team Boodle is assembled.

Are you ready?

All right, I got it.

- Here we go.
- No, no...

Thumbprint.

No, it's a...
it's a retina scan this time.

I'm not putting
nothin' in my butt.

I'll do it.

No, no, no one has to put
anything in their butt.

Your retina is
in your eye.

Okay, show me,
Mr. Scientist.

I'm gonna...

- There.
- Okay.

- All right, now you.
- He just looked into it.

- Yes.
- All right.

It's not gonna
tear my eyeball?

It's not going
to tear out your eyeball.

- All right.
- Just look into the...

If it does, I'm gonna
punch you in your mouth.

Okay.

Just look.

Whoop!

Oh, California?
No thank you.

Why?

I don't like people
from California.

They're funny,
and not in a funny way.

Oh, and you also get this.

Oh!

- Oh, my god!
- Yeah.

Let's go celebrate.

I would love to,
but look,

we've gotta go get Eskie
from the hospital

and then get to the next race
so we can win more money!

- All right.
- Come on, guys!

I don't think Eskandar
is ready to travel.

Oh, he'll be fine.

Okay.

Okay.

Come on.

I don't think
he's gonna fit.

Oh, he'll fit.

I wish he'd just die!

It's like giving birth.

I got it. I'm good!
I'm all good.

All right.

Ahh, there you go!

Snug as a bug in
a Persian rug.

All right!

Let's move onto
the next race.

Yeah.

Pretty impressive stuff, huh?

You weren't expecting me
to recover, were you?

That was not bad.
Not bad.

Still got three races left
to run.

Hey, you saw me out there.

I'm a natural.
All natural.

Like corn on the cob.

- He's au naturale.
- Yeah.

- That's not what you...
- Organic.

think it means.

You know...
it feels like...

nothing could possibly
go wrong now.

Oh, no, no, no!

Fuckin' boats?

Let's, uh,
let's win this one.

Y'all go ahead.

I'm gonna stay here
and set up camp, okay?

Cool.

How are we supposed to find
this Shelby Ebert anyway?

We'll ask somebody.

I can't just talk
to these people.

They're Californians.

They take away your guns
and make you get gay married.

- Are you serious?
- Yes.

- Seriously serious?
- Yes, I'm serious!

Excuse me, where's...
we're looking for Shelby Ebert.

She's over there.

There, boom!
Was that so hard?

Yeah, you're from New York.
Californians.

Different tips on
the same liberal turd.

Are you okay?

Yes, I'm fine!
Okay? I'm fine!

All right, come on, guys.

Do you have
social anxiety?

No, I don't.

My cousin has that.

Your cousin has epilepsy.

Come on.

Excuse me, Shelby?

That's me.

I'm sorry,
you're both Shelby?

Yeah, she drives.
I make it go.

Okay.

- What's your name?
- Shelby.

- And your name?
- Shelby.

Two Shelbys, all right?

You got it?

Hi, I'm Jason Wilmore.

- Nice to meet you.
- You, too.

I'm the executor of
Phineus Davis' estate.

Oh, we were so sorry
to hear of his passing.

He loved a good speedboat.

Ah, he did.

And this is his son, Bo.

I never met him.
He abandoned me.

Okay.

Hi, Bo, it's nice
to meet you.

Uh, do you want to
check out your boat?

Nope.

What?

I'm sorry, I mean,
no, thank you.

Well, you're here to race,
aren't you?

I don't know.
Yeah, maybe.

Bo, what is going on?
Let her show you the boat.

Okay, show me the boat.

I'm so sorry.

Yes, we'd love
to see the boat.

Okay, cool.

Apologies,
he hasn't eaten yet.

Wow!

Whoa, I can see
my reflection.

That is
an impressive boat.

Cool.

Thank you guys
for doing this.

Shelby, I really
appreciate it.

But, uh, it's pink!

Sure is!

I ain't drivin'
no pink boat.

Are you being serious
right now?

Yeah, it's a girl's boat.
I ain't a girl!

This boat is one of the fastest
in the entire sport!

Sure is!

Come on, Bo,
it's just one event.

Plus, we could win
another five grand.

We? It's not we,
Noodle, it's me!

I have to do the racing.

And I say no!

Look, you're very pretty,
and I appreciate it a lot,

but your boat sucks,
and I hate your guts!

Ahh, I'm so sorry
about that.

Um, we're going to
have to get back to you.

I'm... I'm sure
the race is still on.

Whoa! Whoa! Bo!

What are you...
Is that yours?

- No.
- Bo!

Oh, my god.

I'm... okay,
I am so sorry.

Let me just... Bo!

You shove that pink boat
up your ass!

Do not make me
chase you, young man!

Fuck you!

Which one
of you is Shelby?

Bo, honey, you okay?

I'm not a girl!

Well, okay, why don't
you come out here

and we'll talk about it.

No!

I got you two of them
Heart Stopper drinks you like.

- Heart Stoppers?
- Yeah.

- Fine!
- Come out here.

Come here.

What's going on?

- I don't know.
- Come sit down.

- What happened?
- Stupid!

They want me to ride
in a girl boat.

What's it got?

Like big ol' titties
and lashes, or what?

No, it's pink.

It's pink like
a Barbie boat.

Yeah they're gonna
have me ride in a boat

where everybody's like,
Oh, there's Bo

in that pink boat,
what a dumb fuck.

Boat races are stupid.
I hate 'em!

Bo, is there something
else going on with you

about all this?

No, I'm just hungry.

I need a cookie.

- No, hey, Bo, wait, wait.
- I'll go get...

Hey.

If it's a secret, Bo,
I can keep a secret.

Okay? Only you
and me will know.

You won't tell Noodle?

Not even Noodle.

What about God?

I can't keep a secret
from the Lord.

He sees and hears everything,
praise be.

Yeah, I know.
Praise be.

What?

I can't hear you.

Oh, you can't swim.

Yeah, I can't swim.

Okay. Is that all?

I'm afraid of the water.

Okay.

That's okay, darlin'.

Okay, what about this?

What if we find
some place, okay?

And... and I'll just...
I'll teach you how to swim.

In water?

- There, it's in.
- Come on.

Okay, just give me space.

Don't you want
to win $5,000?

Yes. Look.

See, I'm coming in.
Don't grab me.

♪ If you got a problem ♪

♪ I don't care what it is ♪

♪ If you need a hand ♪

♪ I can assure you of this ♪

♪ I can help ♪

♪ I got two strong arms ♪

♪ I can help ♪

♪ It would sure do me good ♪

♪ to do you good ♪

♪ Let me help ♪

♪ It's a fact that
people get lonely ♪

♪ Ain't nothin' new ♪

♪ But a woman
like you baby ♪

♪ Should never
have the blues ♪

♪ Let me help ♪

♪ Like you do for me ♪

♪ Let me help ♪

♪ It would sure do me good ♪

♪ to do you good ♪

♪ Let me help ♪

♪ When I go to
sleep at night ♪

♪ You're always a part
of my dream ♪

♪ Holding me tight ♪

♪ Telling me everything ♪

♪ I wanna hear ♪

♪ Don't forget me baby ♪

♪ All you gotta do is call ♪

♪ You know how
I feel about you ♪

♪ If I can do
anything at all ♪

♪ Let me help ♪

♪ If your child n
eeds a daddy ♪

♪ I can help ♪

♪ it would sure do me good
to do you good ♪

♪ Let me help ♪

Noodle!

Team freakin' Boodle!

Afternoon, folks!

Remember, on race day,
it ain't safe to have

your kids swimming
in the water.

You okay, Bo?

I don't know.

I don't think
I'm ready for this.

It's okay.

We're all right
here with you.

Okay.

Maybe what you're looking for is
right in front of your face.

But I can't see
nothin' right now

'cause you're right
in front of my face.

Could you please move?

Here you go.

Okay.
I love you...

Noodle.

And Jason, you should
go to church.

I'm just sayin' things
in case I die.

All right, let's put
this thing in the water!

Go ahead,
it's a good day to die!

Drop me in! Team Boodle!

All right,
let's get her wet!

Bye, Bo.

Good luck out there, Bo.

I'm a bit nervous,
I gotta be honest.

Okay, slow, slow.

The race hasn't
started yet.

Come on, slow down.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
I'm sinking!

I'm sinking!

- No, you're not.
- Yes, I am.

- You're floating.
- No, I'm not.

- It's... you're totally fine.
- Uh-uh.

It's a beautiful day
here at Lake Mead

for today's Lucas Oil
Drag Boat Racing Series.

Up next in the pro
modified class

is our special guest.

If you follow off-road racing,
you know his name.

It's bastard child tractor man
Beauregard Jackson,

racing in Shelby Ebert's
hot pink Lucas Oil boat.

Whoa! Shit!

Jackson got
a great jump off the line.

He's holding that Barbie
boat nice and steady.

This is looking
like a solid run.

That qualifies Jackson
for the elimination round

with a time of 5:07!

He qualified.

Yeah.

You know what we should do
is get some food.

Do you not realize
what's at stake here?

Oh, steak would be good!

My soda!

Stop whining!

That will bring us

to the semi-finals
in the modified circuit.

David Logan
and Beauregard Jackson

are the first
to match up.

The winner of this race

is guaranteed a spot
on the podium.

This is it!
This is it.

Jackson gets
a slow start off the line.

Oh, but no,
look at that boat move!

Yeah!

And Jackson wins!

Guaranteeing himself
a spot in the top two.

That's my guy!

- Whoo-hoo!
- Seriously, folks,

who would have thought

a bastard tractor driver

from Tennessee
would be taking on

veteran Bower
in the finals?

Whoo!

Bower jumps out
to the early lead,

but come on, Bo,
you bastard!

Oh, shit, Bower won.

But, folks, come on,

Beauregard Jackson had
a hell of a day.

Holy shit!

I didn't die!

- That's my guy.
- Pink is a cool color.

I told you pink is cool.

And let's hear it

for your second place finisher,
Beauregard Jackson.

- Hey, Mr. Lawyer.
- Hey!

Did you see me out there?

I did.
I was watching.

- Okay.
- Pretty impressive.

Looks like Team Boodle might
podium in all these races.

Maybe.

- Team Boodle.
- Team Boodle.

All right,
shall we do this?

- See where we're headed?
- Yeah.

Oh, that's gross.

No, it's... it performs
a DNA analysis on your spit.

- So you gotta...
- So I just spit in here?

Yeah, just a little spit
right in there.

Are you... oh, my...

- No...
- I have a hard time spitting.

I have a gag reflex.

- Just spit. Just spit.
- Okay, hold on.

There's spit
in your mouth.

Every time we
go somewhere new,

he has to blowjob
a suitcase?

- Just let it out into the...
- Okay, there it goes.

Oh, yep, yep.
Here we go.

Oh, that scares
me every time.

It's like how can you not
get used to that?

Oh, Glen Helen Speedway,
San Bernardino, California.

A speedway! And speed's
kinda my thing.

Everything just
feels so great.

You know what I mean?
Like nothing could possibly...

- Stop!
- What?

- Don't say that.
- What?

The... What?

You say that all the time,
that nothing can go wrong,

and then something
immediately goes wrong.

You understand that, right?

Oh, come on, he can't
put a hex on things.

No, yeah,
I cannot use my words

and change the future.

I mean come on,
I'm not a witch.

This... you don't
have to be a witch.

It's called a jinx.
Have you people...

you've never heard of
a jinx, honest to God?

Tell me.
Just please, don't...

this one time for me,
don't say it.

- Jason, listen.
- What?

Buddy, hey.

Everything's gone good, okay?

Yes, I know.

- Nothing...
- What?

- Could...
- Don't.

- Possibly...
- Please?

- Go...
- You're not.

- Wrong...
- Come on!

Now.

Beauregard Jackson?

Oh, fuck!

Hi, Vanessa Forrester.

You were pretty impressive
out there today.

Okay.

Uh, well, um...

I get...

I mean, um, do we
know each other?

Oh, well,
I'm a publicist.

Sorry, I saw
your video online.

Oh.

I have a video?

Yeah, the MAV-TV coverage
from your short-course race.

It's going viral.

Oh, no shit?

- What does that mean?
- It means your sick.

- No, it doesn't.
- Virus.

- No.
- I don't know.

It's... people are watching.

A lot of people
are watching.

- Ahh...
- Yes.

And after what you did
out there today,

- with the boats...
- Uh-huh?

I have a feeling that
you could be a big star.

And I'm always looking
for the next big star.

Well, yeah, I was...

Okay.

I mean there's a lot
going on right now.

Uh, it's a long story.

I'm trying to win
this money.

Well, I do love
a good story, Bo.

I mean that's
kind of my job.

I would love to hear it.

Uh, okay.

You want a drink?

Yes, I would love a drink.

- Okay.
- Thank you.

Come on in.

"I love a good story, Bo."

"I'd love to hear
your stories, Bo."

They've been in there
for over an hour.

It's been like 15 minutes.

Well, this is stupid.

We should be
out celebrating.

Let's just... this could
be a really big deal

for Bo, okay?
So, let's just have

a little more patience
and understanding.

They're comin'.
Act natural.

- So, okay then.
- Okay.

I'll see you back
in San Bernardino.

Yeah, thank you so much.
You've been so nice.

Oh, come on.

I know a winner
when I see one.

Well, it was lovely
meeting you guys.

Bye, Bo.

All right, bye.
Take care.

Okay.

What in the holy hell were
you two talking about in there?

I don't know. She wants to
do some kind of story on me.

- Get out!
- Yeah.

- Hey, that's great, Bo.
- Yeah, congrats.

Well, let's go party.

Oh, well, actually Vanessa
is going to be waiting for us

down the road,
so, we've gotta...

we gotta start moving.

Oh, well...

I'll go feed Eskandar.

Okay.

Hey, Bo?

- Yeah?
- Hey.

Um, before we
pack up and leave,

you want to just
have a drink?

Just you and me?

No, I'm okay.

He's an idiot.

Noodle, I swear I did not
eat your Funyuns.

Well, they're
not cannibals.

They didn't eat themselves.

Hey, Bo!

Welcome to Glenn Helen.

How do you know who I am?

Your publicist Vanessa.
She called me.

Says you're the real deal.

King Michaels.

He's as real
as the sky is blue.

Well, can you
ride motocross?

Can I ride motocross?

Does a frog fart flies?

- That's a yes.
- Amen.

Well, I used to ride
with your father Phineus.

Even let him win
once in a while.

- Hmm.
- He was like

a second father to me.

Well, I never met him,
cause he abandoned me.

Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't know.

Yep.

Well, Vanessa's got
a limo waiting for us.

We're going to go downtown
and grab some lunch.

You paying?

- No, she is.
- Okay!

You're my new best friend.
Let's go!

- Sounds good.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm just supposed
to grab Bo.

Well, I'm Jason Wilmore.

I'm executor
of Phineus' estate.

So, I should probably...

No.

Sorry, just Bo.

Sorry, guys.

Free food,
my hands are tied.

Yeah.

There you go.

If you bring me more vegetables,

I'm gonna kick your ass.

I'm just kiddin'.

So, I hear Bo is pretty
good at motocross already.

Well, that's great.

I want to set up
some interviews for you.

We need to get
your story out there.

I don't know.

I ain't too good
at interviewing.

Trust me, you're
going to be great.

You have a natural charm.

Do I?

You do.

Oh, you should interview
Mandy and Noodle, too.

They're charming.

- They seem really nice, Bo.
- They are.

But they're not the ones
racing out there.

This story is about you.

They're just along
for the ride.

Okay? Picture it.

Beauregard Jackson,
billionaire baby!

Yeah, like I could be
the star of my own movie.

- Bingo.
- No.

You are the star, Bo.

A big huge star.

Okay.

♪ Get around town ♪

♪ Spend your time
on the run ♪

♪ You never let down ♪

♪ Say you do it for fun ♪

♪ You never miss a play though ♪

♪ you make quite a few ♪

♪ You give it all way ♪

♪ Everybody wants you ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ You crave attention ♪

♪ You can never say no ♪

♪ Throw your affections ♪

♪ any way the wind blows ♪

♪ You always make it ♪

♪ You're on top of the scene ♪

♪ You sell the copy ♪

♪ like the cover
of a magazine ♪

♪ Whoo ♪

♪ Everybody wants you ♪

What is it?
Noodle, I'm busy.

Where are you, Bo?

You gotta be
here practicing.

I'm working on marketing
myself right now, you know?

Getting my face
out there.

Don't you worry,
I got this.

These are professionals

you're racing against.

You trying to say
I ain't professional?

Well, the professionals

- are here practicing, Bo.
- Hey, Bo.

Would you mind
oiling my back?

- And I'm worried.
- No, I wouldn't.

- Here you go.
- I'm gonna sit on your butt.

- Hope I'm not too heavy.
- Oh, no. Ooh!

No.

I don't know what Noodle's
problem is, you know?

Your star is rising.

They just want to ride
your coattails.

Yeah, ride my coattails.

You're your own man
now, Bo.

I am.
I am my own man.

Try... try the jump.

Okay.

Umm, no.

You're really bad at this.

Really bad, yeah.

Hey, guys.

The star has returned.

Where the hell
have you been?

Bo has been busy.

Yeah, well, Bo has got
a race tomorrow,

and Bo hasn't been on
the track all this week.

What the hell do you care?

You afraid you're not
gonna be able

to ride my coattails
no more?

What's that now?

I have to do all the racing,
all the winning.

All you gotta do is
collect $100 a day

and party with
Heart Stopper girls

based on my famousness.

Are you being serious
right now?

And how come you get
so many letters

in the team name?

It's like your whole name!

The first two letters of
Boodle are Bo.

That is literally
your whole name.

That is your O,
not my O.

Oodle, Noodle.

All I get is the B.

- Bo, calm down.
- No, uh-uh!

This is just like
when we were kids.

You only wanted to be my
friend when I was winning.

And then Tommy
started winning

and then you
were his friend.

We were all friends!

And we were all
just happy for him.

I wasn't happy for Tommy!

I was supposed
to win that race.

I was supposed
to be the winner.

A real friend
would have seen that.

I am your real friend, Bo.

Not from where
I'm standing.

Well...

if that's the way
you feel...

I'm out.

Good luck tomorrow.

I don't need luck.

I never need luck.

I ain't no leprechaun.

Hey.

What's going on, Bo?

I do not need a speech
from you, too.

Okay?

I am tired of everybody
telling me what to do.

I'm my own man now.
My own Bo.

Okay, Bo.

Should I just...

- Yep!
- Yeah, okay.

It's another hot one

out here at
the world famous Glen Helen.

Ladies and gentlemen,
we have 20 laps of racing

today in our open event.

Of course, the big name
out here today

is Beauregard Jackson,
sporting the number 27.

- That's right, baby!
- Kill it, Bo!

- There you go.
- Okay.

The riders are lined up.

The gates are down
and here we go!

It's shoulder to shoulder
out here in the beginning.

Jacobs and Bishop lead
the pack at the opening turn.

But with so many
challenging riders

out here today,

this is literally
anybody's race.

Why's my bike so slow?

In spite of
all the hype surrounding

Beauregard Jackson
this week,

he is really struggling
out there today.

What the hell
is going on?

Halfway through the race,

Jacobs still holds a slight lead
over Kennedy and Brown.

Stupid bike!

Come on, Bo.

Jackson seems
to be out of his element

and just can't keep up
with the leaders.

Oww! What the...

Jackson
looks to be falling

even further behind.

You came?

- Yeah, I did.
- That's great!

There might be a limiter
on Bo's throttle.

Well, how would
you know that?

Engine whisperer?

- Oh, that's a thing, yeah.
- Yeah.

You've gotta tell him.

No, no, you...
you tell him.

He won't listen to me.

We're in a fight.

Well, look, I'm not supposed
to really get that involved.

If he's gonna
podium this race,

you've gotta tell him.

But what if...
Noodle? Noodle!

- Bo, Bo!
- Hi, Jason.

It really looks
like Beauregard Jackson

is getting frustrated
out there today.

He just can't seem
to find his gear.

Bo!

- Bo, Bo!
- Not now!

Bo, Bo!

After his amazing performance

in Pro-4's short-course racing
and his unbelievable run

in drag boats,
I thought maybe, just maybe,

he'd surprise us
all again out here today.

What the hell is he doing?

- Why is he on the track?
- Uh-oh!

It looks like a crazy fan
has got himself onto the track.

What the hell
is wrong with you?

There's a limiter
on your throttle!

- What?
- I don't know.

It's something
on the bike.

- Check your bike!
- My bike?

It's a chipper clipper!

Security is
removing that crazed fan now.

Ooh, that's gonna
leave a mark!

What an idiot!

I don't know, I think
he's kinda cute.

Get up! Crazy fool!

Let's get our bikes
back humming, folks.

We're about to go green
with only six laps to go.

Hi!

Oh, the bike is faster!

Jackson seems to
have found a new gear

as he's now chasing
down the pack.

That one took it!

Number 27, Jackson,
with a nice pass.

Whoo!

Jackson is flying
by the competition now.

He's a man on a mission.

With only one lap to go,

Jackson has climbed
into third place.

He just needs to
hold this position

to finish on the podium.

Whoo!

As we approach
the finish line,

Jacobs pulled away
and is going to

take first place easily,

followed by Vaughn
in second.

And here comes
Jackson to the line!

Oh, shit!
I'm going upside down!

Oh!

Both the bike and Jackson

make it over the finish line
to take third place

in one of the wildest finishes
I have ever seen!

Oh, shit,
that hurt so much.

Well, it seems
like there's nothing

that can stop
Beauregard Jackson.

Whoo!

Underneath the Yamaha Bridge.

I'm in a tunnel,
motherfucker!

Yes.

That was not the plan.

Obviously.

It wasn't my fault.

It was that dildo Jason.

He knew about
the bike somehow.

I need you to focus
and stop dicking around.

He cannot even enter
the next race.

Do you hear me?

Hey! Noodle! Mandy!

Hey, there, superstar!

God, what
an amazing comeback.

What?

Oh, the race.
Right. Uh, yeah.

The bike was all...

Yes, the bike.

I mean you made it go
so much faster.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think King
did something to it.

He was acting a little
weird back there.

I bet he did.
I never trusted him.

God, you're like
really smart.

Thank you for noticing.

Okay, so where to next?

Oh, um, well,
there's this box.

It tells me what I need
to do and all that

and, um,
it's impossible to open.

It's like
a James Bond type thing.

You've gotta get
like DNA testing

- and all that kind of jazz.
- Sure, of course.

Like that?

Yeah, like that.

Uh, I did not know
that did that.

I was not aware.

Monster Jam Arena,
Anaheim, California.

Okay, now this is it.

This is the last stop.

- Mm-hmm.
- All right?

So, come on, you're riding
with me in my limo.

Wa-wa-wait, wait. I...

I gotta wait
for my team.

- Your team?
- Yeah.

What team?

The team that abandoned you
out there today?

Screw them, Bo!

Look, you don't need them.

Okay?

And besides, you've...
you've got me.

Yeah, okay,
whatever you say.

- I'll do it.
- Let's go!

Anaheim, here we come!

Was that Bo?

Yeah.

He found himself
another ride.

We gotta get going.

Screw him, I'm not
going to Anaheim.

Anaheim?

No.

I gotta go get
Jason out of jail.

Jail?

- Holy...
- Shit.

- Like it?
- Yeah!

Yeah, I like it.

This is amazing!
Oh!

I feel like I'm rich,
but I'm not, you know?

What you wanna do now?

Holy shit!

You like?

Uh, is solitary
an option?

Hey, guys.

Who's my big champion?

I am!

♪ Put your right hand out ♪

♪ Give a firm handshake ♪

♪ Talk to me ♪

♪ about that one big break ♪

♪ Spread the ear pollution ♪

♪ both far and wide ♪

Now this is a party.

♪ Keep your contributions ♪

♪ by your side ♪

♪ and stroke me
Stroke me ♪

Now this is a party.

Noodle!

You kicked me right in my balls.
That hurt like hell.

- Oh, God.
- Oh, my God.

Are you pooping?

No.

There was just
nowhere to sit.

- I couldn't...
- Watch your head.

Thank you, thank you.

I'll send you that recipe
we talked about.

- Slap me.
- I'm not gonna slap you.

Ah, Jesus!
What is wrong with you?

Yes!

Oh, good job.

- Thank God.
- Thank you.

I'm so glad you're okay.

Oh, thank you for
bailing me out.

- Mm-hmm.
- Where is Bo?

Oh, he rode with Vanessa.

To where?

He said Anaheim.

That's near Hollywood

where they make movies
about beautiful people

doing cool sexy things.

Yeah, they make other kinds
of movies there, too.

Oh, God.
You know what?

I bet it's
this Monster Jam.

This is not good.

Oh, don't worry,
he'll be great,

He loves big trucks.

No, it's not...
this is tomorrow night.

Does he have any idea?

Whatever.

He don't need us taking
care of him anymore.

He's got Vanessa now.

Vanessa, yeah, that's exactly
what I'm worried about.

He's not picking up.

We've gotta go find him.

No! Didn't you hear him
at the track, Jason?

He don't need
our help no more.

He did kind of
leave you in jail.

I know, I know, look.

This is my job.
Just let me do it,

see this thing
through, please.

Your job?

Is that why you ran on
the track like a crazy man?

Just some job?

You know what
I think, Noodle?

I think this guy
is starting to like us.

No.

No, it's not that,
it's just, this is a job.

- You like us.
- No.

- You're in love with us.
- No, I...

You wanna be
our best friend.

- You do.
- No, I..

You like us.

All right fine, yes,
I like you guys, all right?

You're nice, and you do
nice things for each other,

and you get me out of jail

and the people I know don't
normally behave like that.

The people you know
are dicks.

Big fat penises.

Yeah, I know
a lot of dicks.

Well, we're not dicks.

He's our friend,
let's go help him.

- Yeah.
- No.

Ya'll I'm not going.

I'm not gonna chase
after Bo anymore.

But you like Bo.

Yeah, I do like Bo.

I like him too much.

I've liked him
my whole life.

I'm sorry, Noodle,

but when you're older
you'll understand.

But I'm your age.

Yeah, no, it's just
a different, um...

but I understand,
Mandy, all right?

Just come with us
to Anaheim

and I'll get you
back to Tennessee.

Thank you, Jason.

Count me in!

Of course you're in.

You got nowhere else
to go.

I forgot that guy
was back there.

I'm sorry, just, you're
a hard woman to find, Chrissy.

Jason, did you
lose something?

Where's Bo?

I don't know what
you're talking about.

His final race is today.

Mmm...

No, Jason, his last race
was yesterday.

Now I hope you enjoy
your little dipshit friends

and they help you get a job at
the Tennessee suck and fuck

when I take over
my Dad's company.

'Cause I am never
giving you a job,

and you're never going
to enjoy all of this.

It's not that great
anyway, that...

this whole....

Let me tell you,
I don't need any of that.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

Idiot.

Look, Michael,
all I need to know from you

is your biggest room service
order from last night.

Bo!

Bo, buddy.

Hey, Bo, come on, wake up.

- Jason!
- You okay?

What happened here
last night?

- Where's Vanessa?
- I don't know.

We made love.
I think we did.

I don't know,
I don't remember.

Okay.

- Why does this always happen?
- Vanessa tricked you.

I always fall in love
with the wrong people.

You have one more race,
it's tonight.

- Tonight?
- We have to get you up.

Hold on, I'm lovesick.

- Give me a moment.
- Give me...

Come on, up. Up!

I don't want
to race ever again.

Let's give you
one more race.

- There we go.
- Oh, yeah.

- I'm all right.
- All right, good.

Oh...

Oh, yeah.

Let it out, let it out.

Oh, God.
Oh, buddy, buddy.

Hold on.
We're good.

It's good, it's good,
it's good.

Leave it, leave it.

I'll come back for it.

Oh, God, this is it.
This is the truck.

Okay, let's do it.

- Let's do it.
- Hey, excuse me, ladies.

- Linsey Weenk?
- Oh, hey, hey.

Oh, God, hi.
Good to meet ya.

You Bo?

No, no, no.
I'm not Bo.

Uh... that's Bo.

Oh, has he ever driven
a monster truck before?

Uh...

Anaheim, California,

are you ready to
experience Monster Jam?

Hold on to your seats,
for all the racing

and freestyle action.

Eh, how's this...
Is it?

How do you get it on?

Oh, okay, that works.

Okay, sorry, sorry.

Sorry, sorry.

All right, did you get
Mandy off okay?

Yeah, I dropped her off
at the bus station.

No I, I to you to
fly her home.

There's no such thing as
a flying bus, Jason.

That is true.

All right,
there's three events.

The first one's
a speed event.

He's just got to beat this guy,
advance a few rounds,

and then he'll get
some decent points.

Our next matchup
is Jon Zimmer

in his fire breathing
dragon ice truck.

Does mine breath fire?

Oh, wait.
Uh, this and this.

He'll be taking on
rising motorsports star,

- Beauregard Jackson.
- Okay, where's prism?

Yeah this works.

He is driving
the Lucas Oil Crusader.

I got it! Yes!

Let's give him
a warm Monster Jam welcome.

You said you
had this handled.

He was out cold.

Here we go.

Both trucks are
good off the line.

Go, go.

Zimmer's up by a leap.

Jackson needs to punch it
into this final turn.

Shit! Aah!
Not upside down!

Ooh!

And the crusader goes
tits up in the speed round.

Well, folks, so much
for our rising star.

He is one and done
in the speed round.

Thank you!

Rough start.

Can I even come back
from that?

There's still
two more events.

I don't know what to do.

I wish Noodle was here.

I can, uh, help
with that wish.

You look like shit.

Noodle!

I'm so sorry.

I'm a fucking idiot.

There there, you're not.

I wronged you.

I forgive you.

You're a ray
of fucking sunshine.

You're a ray
of fucking sunshine.

Did you see me
driving out there?

I would not
call that driving.

I know.

It only gets harder too.

I'm here, too, Bo.

Yeah, hey, Eskie,
how's it going?

Well, the team
is together, right?

Two more events.

Go out there and
claim your fortune, Bo.

What about Mandy?

Is she here too?

Oh, I uh... she's on
her way to Tennessee.

I dropped her off
at the bus station.

Damn, I really
messed it up with her.

She hates me now.

Oh, my God, she's
in love with you, Bo.

What?

You love Mandy,
Mandy loves you.

You just gotta tell her.

How'd you know
I loved her?

It's obv... Everyone knows.
It's obvious.

She's married
to Noodle's dad.

They got divorced
like five years ago

when he left.

They did?

He ain't never
coming back.

Plus, if you
were with Mandy...

Yeah?

You'd be my dad.

- Team Dad Noodle!
- Team Dad Noodle!

All right.

Okay, let's go get her.

No, no, no, no, no, no,

the second event's
about to start.

So? I've gotta go
tell her I love her.

She might still be
at the station.

Okay, let's go get her.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Bo, no, no.

Don't... you don't have
to tell her tonight.

Just big picture
here, right?

You stay here, you do this,
you win the event,

you get the money,
and then you go home

and you tell her
you love her.

Right?

Not good enough, Jason.

I cannot do this
without her.

You will miss this event.

I don't care.

Love is more important.

It's stronger
than anything.

Okay, let me...
let me get this straight.

So I, um, I got tackled
by like two beefcake men,

who maybe broke two of my ribs,
I spent the night in jail

dancing with
some dickhole Persian mafia,

and I lost my job.

I mean, when I get back
to New York there is nothing.

My life is over.

And you want to go tell
the woman you've loved

for thirty years right now
that you love her?

You can't wait
thirty years and a day,

and so you lose this,
and then everything's gone.

You want me in on that?

You're either with us,
or you're against us.

I'm with ya, let's go.

Hey, can I get
a ticket to, uh,

Pigeon Forge,
Tennessee, please?

Why so sad, little lady?

It's just...

you know, somebody turned out
to not be the person

that I thought he was.

I see.

Well, darlin' love
can make a man crazy,

but it can't
make him a sandwich.

Sorry, I don't understand.

Well just think on it
for a while.

- Okay.
- Think on it.

Thank you.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
this is totally blocked in.

We'll never get the RV
out of here.

Bo, take my wheelchair.

No!

Great idea!

Yeah, it'll be
a lot faster.

Yeah, it will be faster.

And I love
driving wheelchairs.

It won't be any faster.

Excuse me,
we're coming through.

Look out buddy, sorry.

You speak Chinese?

I studied Mandarin
for seven years.

Your pronunciation's terrible.

Seriously?

Oh, my God.

Stand on my feet!
Stand on my feet!

- What's wrong with it?
- It's jammed.

- You guys go ahead.
- You sure?

- I'm tired.
- All right, let's go.

Oh, come on.

Oh, that's nice.

Sorry. Sorry.

We're not gonna make it
with me running.

What are we gonna do?

Come on.

Hey, buddy.

Hey, man, I need
to borrow your bike.

Sorry, no.

The love of my life
is getting away.

I could give a shit.

Will this do it?

Shit, yes, you got
yourself a moped.

- Thanks, buddy.
- All right.

Just hang tight for
a moment all right?

- No.
- Just a second.

We just gotta get the
stuff out of the back.

- Let's go.
- No, no, no.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Stop, stop.

Oh, come on. Move!

What is that?
Is that us?

What is happening?

Oh, my God!

Who puts a dog
in a closed trunk?

I don't have time
to care. You go.

I'll take it back
to the people.

Move! Move!

Mandy, I'm coming!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

It's for love!

Sorry, sorry.

Hello?

Hello, I need help.
Hello?

Hey, son.
You need some help?

Yeah, is there a bus
going to Tennessee?

- Sure is.
- What time does it leave?

I'm afraid you
just missed it.

Matter of fact,
there it goes right there.

- What?
- There.

Stop the bus!
Stop the bus!

Stop, stop, Mandy!

Did you sell
that boy a ticket?

His ticket has been punched
by the god of love, Charlotte.

You're fired.

Bo?

Don't you have
a Monster Jam to win?

Mandy, don't leave.

I'm an idiot.
I love you!

Oh, Bo, you had me
at jumpin' on the bus.

- I did?
- Yeah.

- I love you.
- Oh, thank God.

Right there, uh-huh.

Mom?

And my new dad?

You did it,
you big romantic lug.

Yeah, turns out
she loves me!

Oh, I know.

Hey, how'd you
get here so fast?

We took a cab.

Oh, man, that's so smart.
I should have taken a cab.

Oh, it was so fast,
just right here.

I was on a moped,
I ran into a Chinese guy,

it was a whole thing.

I hope he's okay.

What about Monster Jam?

We've already missed
the second event.

Bo's probably
been disqualified.

- Oh.
- Shit.

Well, what about the money?

Hey, Noodle,

I was thinking about this while
I was riding on the moped,

running into vegetables.

Tommy was a winner
because had a family

that cared about him.

He had a dad that
gave him a clutch cable,

helped him win that race.

And that's what I got.

I got people
that care about me.

Eskie saved my life.

You taught me how to swim.

By the way I had a boner the
whole time we did that,

and I didn't want
to tell you

but now that we're together,

I had a boner then.

That's so sweet!

And you,
you figured out

what was wrong
with that motorbike.

How'd you know
that was me?

You think this dingleberry
knows anything about an engine?

All he knows is
kombucha and complaining.

And prison.

It was a... it wasn't...
it was a jail.

It's not prison.

Hey, guys, I don't need
to win the Monster Jam.

I already won.

I got you guys.

Oh, Bo.

Get in here.

Come on, I'm your new dad.

- Come on, son.
- There you go.

Oh, you get in here too.

Okay.

Ah, Hallelujah!

Bo, my boy!

Mr. Davis, you're alive?

Yup!

You are one
hell of a group.

You're amazing.

I mean, what the hell?

This has been
a great adventure.

Well, who would have known
I'd have to pretend to be dead

just to feel
this much alive?

Why would you?

Oh, I screwed up with
those other two kids.

Hell, I screwed up
with you, boy.

I'm sorry I deserted
you and your mother.

Hell, I thought you'd
only want that money.

But now look what
you've gone and done.

You've gone and shown me
what's really important

in this life.

Bo?

Bo, you all right?

Bo, honey? You okay?

You let me believe that
the father I never knew

was dead this whole time?

That I'd never even get
a chance to meet you?

What the hell is
wrong with you?

Well, hell, Bo, you had to...
had to prove yourself.

A son should not have to
prove himself to his father.

Maybe that's why your other
kids are such dickheads,

- They took after you!
- Hey, Bo, wow.

- That's ridiculous.
- No, he's a dick head.

- Big old dick for a head.
- He's very emotional.

But that was
the old me, Bo.

This is the new me.

Oh, the new you who flew
in on a giant chopper

acting like king
of the world?

Well...

Helicopters are cool.

Yeah, choppers are cool.

That was so cool.

I just wish you would have
done it thirty years ago

when I needed you.

Well, you're right there.
Maybe I should have.

But then again,
maybe if I'd done it,

then you wouldn't have
turned out to be the man

that you are today.

I had to be abandoned by
my father to become a man.

That's a hell
of a lesson to learn.

You're my dad, huh?

Yes, sir,
I am your daddy.

Okay, you know I made
a speech earlier

about not wanting to
win the Monster Jam,

but I want to win
the Monster Jam.

Now you do realize that
my will don't mean anything,

seeing that I'm alive.

It's not about the money.
I need to prove myself.

No, son, you don't need
to prove yourself.

Not to you.

I want to prove myself
to myself.

Sometimes winning
is the only way to win.

He's so smart.

Now that's my son!

Hell, I'd trust
my company in your hands

any day of the week.

Oh...

Oh, uh, by the way,
what does your company make?

Clutch cables!

- Clutch cables?
- Bo.

Hold on, clutch cables?

Yeah, like...
for like motorbikes.

Yeah, like the thing that
changed my whole life?

That's ironic.

Ladies and gentlemen,

this night is
not over yet.

Beauregard Jackson
has returned

and is going to combine
his two wheel event

and his freestyle event
into one,

using the little known
Phineas rule.

Earth to Bo,
can you hear me?

Yeah, I hear ya
loud and clear.

I talked to some of
the other gear heads.

They told me this
will be a piece of cake.

Well, I love cake.
Here we go.

Woo!

Wheelies first.
Get the crowd on your side.

♪ It's early morning ♪

♪ The sun comes out ♪

Woo! Yeah!

♪ My cat is purring ♪

♪ It scratches my skin ♪

Go Bo!

♪ Another sin ♪

♪ The night is calling ♪

♪ I have to go ♪

♪ The wolf is hungry ♪

♪ He runs the show ♪

Keep it up, man.

♪ He's licking his lips ♪

♪ He's ready to win ♪

♪ On the hunt tonight ♪

This guy's pretty good.

♪ Here I am ♪

♪ Rock you like a hurricane ♪

♪ Here I am ♪

♪ Rock you like a hurricane ♪

♪ Here I am ♪

♪ Rock you like a hurricane ♪

You've got it.

♪ Here I am ♪

♪ Rock you like a hurricane ♪

♪ Here I am ♪

- I think that was pretty good.
- Good job, buddy.

Hey, Noodle, I think
I'm gonna have to go big

if I want to win
this thing.

No, you don't.
Your dad's alive, remember?

Yeah, of course I remember.
That just happened.

Listen, I'm gonna
do a backflip.

You'll turn upside down.

I know.

- No, he could hurt himself.
- What is he doing?

Team Boodle.

Team Boodle,
Dad Doodle.

This is it.

This is it.

Go, go, go.
Go, Bo, go.

Oh, Jackson
nailed a fantastic backflip!

That might be enough
to get him on the podium.

Oh, shit! Oh, shit!

Oh, looks like
Jackson isn't done yet.

- What are you doing?
- I don't know!

That there's another wall.

How'd he do that?

And with that thrilling
one and a quarter backflip,

your winner tonight
has to be internet sensation

Beauregard Jackson.

Hey, yeah, what?

Okay, someone
get me out of here!

You did it!
You got him through it.

You did it.
I'm proud of you.

- I'm so proud of you.
- It's okay, let it out.

Beauregard Davis Jackson,

that's me
and I am a winner.

So that's
the story of how

I did not take over
my father's company.

And I learned that
I had a father.

I help my Dad out
whenever he needs

real good business advice,
but he's still in charge.

He put Jason in charge
of new management policy

at the company.

No dicks allowed.
You know what I mean?

Oswald became
a real racing fan.

And he found his dream gal,
one of the Heart Stopper girls.

Tommy spent thirteen days
in captivity

before he was discovered
by search and rescue.

He has devoted his life
to porta potty safety.

Once his bones healed,
Eskandar took his love for speed

and became a world-class
mustachioed drag racer.

And now he's back
in a wheelchair.

Chrissy still might take
over the company someday

but my Dad is making her
learn the business

from the ground up.

Mandy became
a best selling author,

breaking gender
and social stereotypes

with her acclaimed book,
"Why Pink is for Boys".

- Team Boodle.
- Team Boodle.

Noodle and I,

well, we make sure that
every kid gets a chance

to feel like a winner.

Welcome to Boodle Park.

Our own little slice
of country paradise.

Come on, come on,
come on, guys.

Oh, I almost forgot
about myself.

I live in my hometown
with the greatest family

a man could ever want.

I have a beautiful wife,
two wonderful boys.

Get in here.

Sure, one boy's my age
and one boy's a baby,

but they're both wonderful.

Put your arm
around your mom.

And I am a winner because
I have people who love me.

Oh, you guys
look beautiful.

Here we go. Oh!

I'm okay!

Team Boodle.

These colors, do not...

I can't say that
with a straight face.

These colors do not run...

red, white,

and Bo.

Forget it, I quit.

We quit!
Skandar, we quit.

Everybody in line,
take your beef chips

and shove 'em
up your buttholes.

I'm done.

He don't need us taking
care of him anymore.

He's got Vanessa now.

Yeah, well, Vanessa,
she's a piece.

That's
what I'm worried about.

Hold on, this is... I've never
had an iPhone before.

You're a ray
of fucking sunshine.

You're a ray
of fucking sunshine.

You're a ray
of fucking sunshine.

You can't say sunshine.

You're a ray
of fucking sunshine.

Shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit!

God damn it.

Fuck you.

That may be the dumbest
fucking thing I've ever heard.

Yeah, dick hole.

- Oswald.
- I was just trying it.

That does not come...
that does not sound right

- coming out of your mouth.
- I didn't...

As I heard it,
it felt wrong.

Yeah.

Bo, I'm in!
I'm in!

I'm in!

All right!

Got any Funyuns left?

That had to be a trophy
winner there.

Holy shit!

You're a big boy,
aren't you?

Might have to put you
through college.

Woo!

Can I lick on your neck?

- Yes!
- I meant your boobies,

I was just afraid to ask.

Oh, God.

You're so cute and dumb.

Oh, my boy.

It's there, you just
gotta hit that gas.

What's-what's
my line there?

All right, Bo, now you're
gonna have to give it

a little more... fuck.
What's my first line?

All right, Bo, you're
gonna have to give her

a little more... fuck.
What's my first line again?

Wait, the door is locked?

Heart Stoppers?

I do like taurine and gurana.

Let me try that again.

Heart Stoppers?

I do like things that
taste like pennies.

Heart Stoppers?

Hmm, I do like unnecessary
violent energy.

Heart stoppers?

I do like sweating and
having suicidal thoughts.

Act natural.

Hit him in the knees.

You know, like Tonya Harding
did to Nancy Kerrigan?

What? No.

That was terrible, she was
such a beautiful skater.

Yeah, thanks for playing
you country piece of shit.

- Okay.
- Walking rape kit.

Okay.

Bag of dicks.

Nice to meet you.

You look like you're in
the pushup position with like

kind of throwing up
a little bit right there, yeah.

- 'Cause I'm trying to...
- Shut up!

It's easier
if you just shut up

when she's close to you.

Punch me, yeah,
you can try punching me

in my face,
you fucking cock.

- You wanna go?
- Jason, stand back.

I work with this.
You think I can't take you?

Oh, my God, that was...
that was really not safe.

Not safe? Not...
it wasn't.

You probably wear condoms,
don't you?

Oh, my God.

You gotta roll the dice
once in a while my friend.

You gotta live
on the edge.

Like I feel like Scarface,
you know what I mean?

I haven't seen it.

- You look handsome with it.
- Thank you.

You do, let me see it.

Up, up by your...
oh, my God.

Looking good.

Who is he?

Benjamin Franklin,
I just... I just said it.

Oh, he was a president.

- No, he wasn't a...
- He wasn't?

Yes.

Why'd they put him
on the money?

This is some Illuminati shit
if you ask me.

Okay.

I was born deaf and then,
then a doctor fixed my ears

and I had like
super sensor ears.

Wow, that seems like
a whole different movie.

I have, yeah,
I have a lot of ideas.

Um, I-I wanna be a movie
star my whole life.

I have this idea where
I'm in a racing movie

about me and a monkey,

and it's called
"Going Bo-nannas".

You know, like an action
series starring me

and a Native American
named Arrow

and it would be
"Bo and Arrow".

And we solve mysteries,
you know?

I don't know I just...
I got a lot going on

right now, you know?

This thing supposed
to be plugged in?

I'm gonna go get a nurse.

Oh, my God.

Can you breathe?

Can you...

- Should I breathe into it?
- Yeah, breathe into it.

Give him oxygen I guess.

You can't
just ask these people,

They're Californians.

They re too high
all the time.

They don't know
what you're saying.

You know it's legal here?

- It's legal!
- Sure.

Motocross?

Does he know how
to ride Motocross?

He got balls, don't he?
He ain't no castrato.

I don't know what that is.

It's when you have your
dick and balls cut off.

I thought it was the name
of a racer.

He ain't him either.

-Eric Castrato, you're right...

-No that's the city.

San Juan Castrato.

Yup, I mean that
girl is hard to miss.

On a scale of ten
she's an eighty.

Or a sixty-nine, you know?

No, I'm kidding.
I respect her too much.

Yeah, I'm gonna marry her.

Have babies.

Move to the country.

- Yeah?
- You know, get a farm.

Like three bedroom, two bath,
nothing over the top.

Oh, my hair!

Oh, it's not gonna be the
same after this.

Noodles. Noodles.

Noodles.

- All right, now...
- Noodles.

Steak would be good.

Oh, I made contact
with his chin.

Stop.

Ooh-wee!

You show 'em who's boss
with that Texas truck, Noodle.

That's right, do it.

City boy don't know
what's up.

Don't know which way.

Why don't you slap
his dick with your...

There you go, nice.

A little harder,
a little harder,

there you go.
Hold on, hold on.

That was... all right.

Do you ever shut up?

Yeah, I can if you just
give me the word

and I'll stop talking.

- Take my shoes off.
- Take your shoes off?

- Yes.
- Okay.

That's pretty easy
for you to do yourself

but I can... okay.

Almost finished.

Shake it off.

Tap it out.

Yup.

Hi, man, nice to meet you.

Good luck out...
are you okay?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Buddy?

Oh, God.

- Yeah, I'm gonna need that.
- Probably.

All right, head in, then...

Okay.

- I'm good!
- Oh, you're real good.

Are you a scientist?

Kind of, I guess.

I love stars.

All right, Bo's about
to start, buddy.

Bo's about to start.
Are you with me?

- Do you need some help?
- No, no, I'm good.

Push it, push it.

I'm good, I'm good.

He inherits nothing!

Oh, you get in here too.

Okay.

- You've been Boodled.
- You're strong.

I've got a boner again.

Cut.

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