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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,999 --> 00:00:08,998 INSTRUMENTAL: We Wish You A Merry Christmas 2 00:00:08,999 --> 00:00:11,999 How are you? You look nice. Happy Christmas, love. 3 00:00:15,162 --> 00:00:18,227 You look gorgeous in your Christmas jumper. 4 00:00:18,229 --> 00:00:19,837 Gwaaar! Go on to fuck! 5 00:00:19,839 --> 00:00:24,225 For subtitling services, contatct: waqas.zahoor89@gmail.com 6 00:00:24,227 --> 00:00:26,226 I love your Christmas hat, it's gorgeous. 7 00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:27,227 CLAMOURING 8 00:00:30,227 --> 00:00:31,361 No, no! 9 00:00:34,227 --> 00:00:35,227 CLAMOURING 10 00:00:35,228 --> 00:00:37,226 Where's your proof of purchase, you fucking prick?! 11 00:00:37,227 --> 00:00:39,226 Watch his fucking back, will you? 12 00:00:39,227 --> 00:00:41,226 Happy fucking Christmas. 13 00:00:41,227 --> 00:00:43,226 # Repeat, repeat, repeat Repeat the sound of joy 14 00:00:43,227 --> 00:00:45,360 # Repeat, repeat, repeat Repeat the sound of joy 15 00:00:45,361 --> 00:00:48,226 # Repeat, repeat # Repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat 16 00:00:48,227 --> 00:00:49,360 # The sound in joy. # 17 00:00:49,361 --> 00:00:51,495 That was a load of bollocks! 18 00:00:59,895 --> 00:01:03,226 Christmas is a time for giving, but when you've got fuck all, 19 00:01:03,227 --> 00:01:05,227 it's also a time for taking. 20 00:01:08,752 --> 00:01:11,752 Take it easy, you're getting pine needles all over the new carpet! 21 00:01:11,754 --> 00:01:15,753 Would you stop going on about their new carpet? 22 00:01:15,754 --> 00:01:17,753 But it's cream. 23 00:01:17,754 --> 00:01:18,754 I'm taking off these plastic bags. 24 00:01:20,754 --> 00:01:22,289 Not until we're outside. 25 00:01:29,754 --> 00:01:30,754 HE GRUNTS 26 00:01:30,755 --> 00:01:33,753 TREE PLAYS CHRISTMAS CAROL 27 00:01:33,754 --> 00:01:35,754 You had one job. 28 00:01:38,754 --> 00:01:40,753 It's the perfect time for me and Jock to be doing house calls, 29 00:01:40,754 --> 00:01:43,753 because there's a film being shot in the city and the whole of Cork 30 00:01:43,754 --> 00:01:46,753 is off trying to get selfies with your man Robert Sheehan. 31 00:01:46,754 --> 00:01:49,154 I'm going through a crowd of fans at the moment. 32 00:01:49,155 --> 00:01:50,753 Yeah, they're really annoying. 33 00:01:50,754 --> 00:01:53,753 SCREAMING 34 00:01:53,754 --> 00:01:56,753 OK, I'm only going to do this once. You ready? 35 00:01:56,754 --> 00:01:57,754 CHEERING 36 00:01:58,754 --> 00:02:00,753 SCREAMING 37 00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:02,570 SHE SOBS 38 00:02:02,572 --> 00:02:04,636 Do you think you were the right actor to play this character, 39 00:02:04,637 --> 00:02:06,193 seeing as you are not gay? 40 00:02:06,195 --> 00:02:07,478 Oh, well, I am gay. 41 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:09,479 I'm gay for women, I think about women 42 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:12,479 in the same gay way that gay men think about... gays. 43 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:15,479 And you'll never guess who's been hired for security. 44 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:17,479 Stand back! Billy Murphy. 45 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:20,479 The film producers figured if he was working on set, 46 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:21,480 at least he wouldn't be breaking in. 47 00:02:21,481 --> 00:02:24,479 I will fucking punch you. Get back! 48 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:27,281 All in all, it doesn't seem very Christmassy this year. 49 00:02:27,282 --> 00:02:29,479 Might be something to do with our housing estate 50 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:32,014 being more like Armageddon. 51 00:02:32,015 --> 00:02:33,880 It's been non-stop with protesters, 52 00:02:33,881 --> 00:02:36,480 and half of them are only there to get on the telly. 53 00:02:36,481 --> 00:02:39,479 It's been 30 days since the residents of what's been dubbed 54 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:42,479 the Real Capital of Cork - or Real COC for short - 55 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:44,479 barricaded themselves in their council estate, 56 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:46,479 creating their very own hard border. 57 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:48,613 The guards are struggling to keep control. 58 00:02:48,614 --> 00:02:52,479 Only residents and food deliveries are allowed past the barricades. 59 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:55,014 Who ordered Szechuan duck and chicken balls? 60 00:02:55,015 --> 00:02:56,479 That's me, that's me! 61 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,479 I paid by card. 62 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:00,479 Building repairs, me fucking hole! 63 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,479 The authorities offered the same upgrade to the housing estate over, 64 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:04,480 but once they got everyone out, 65 00:03:04,481 --> 00:03:06,479 they demolished the lot of it. 66 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:09,479 That's not going to happen to us. These houses are perfectly fine. 67 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:11,147 KNOCK ON WINDOW 68 00:03:11,148 --> 00:03:13,479 Mam, the weird smell's there again! 69 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:15,479 Is the canary still alive? Yeah. 70 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:18,479 Then stop worrying about it. Jesus. 71 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:20,479 Just cos some langer in City Hall thinks our houses 72 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:22,880 Aren't good enough for his safety standards. 73 00:03:22,881 --> 00:03:26,479 CROWD AGREES 74 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:29,479 Like, what would them firemen be doing if they weren't 75 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:31,479 putting out our fires anyway? Ever think about that? 76 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:33,747 CROWD AGREES 77 00:03:33,748 --> 00:03:36,479 SHE COUGHS 78 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:38,479 You OK? I'm fucking fine. 79 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:40,481 SHE COUGHS 80 00:03:41,748 --> 00:03:44,479 EXCLAMATIONS OF DISGUST 81 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:46,281 Do you have a hanky, no? 82 00:03:46,282 --> 00:03:49,281 Mam has a hard-on for everything Christmassy, 83 00:03:49,282 --> 00:03:52,282 but she's always been too broke to get a real Christmas tree. 84 00:03:53,881 --> 00:03:55,015 It's lovely. 85 00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:57,880 # ..happy new year. # 86 00:03:57,881 --> 00:03:59,147 What the fuck? 87 00:03:59,148 --> 00:04:00,479 # We wish you a merry Christmas... # 88 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:01,613 Why three Christmas trees? 89 00:04:01,614 --> 00:04:04,282 They say you can't get oil past the barricade. 90 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:07,747 We're going to line them up like the Christmas tree... 91 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,480 Christmas trees. 92 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,479 Ah! Fucking hell! 93 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:16,480 Ha-ha! Ha-ha! 94 00:04:16,481 --> 00:04:18,479 You can't do that. 95 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:22,480 Burning Christmas trees is like burning Christmas. 96 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,281 Did you get to the doctor? 97 00:04:27,282 --> 00:04:29,479 What's he going to tell me that I don't already know? 98 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:31,479 Stuff about medicine. 99 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:32,480 Fuck that. 100 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:36,479 FLINT STRIKES REPEATEDLY 101 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:38,479 Fucking thing. Give me that fag. 102 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,479 Are you sure you should be smoking? 103 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:43,479 It'll help bring up the phlegm. That's true, actually. 104 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:44,480 Sure, when you walk around, 105 00:04:44,481 --> 00:04:47,479 you always see people smoking and coughing. 106 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:51,480 SHE COUGHS 107 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:54,613 SHE COUGHS 108 00:04:54,614 --> 00:04:56,479 Mam! 109 00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:59,613 Are you OK, Mam? Mam! 110 00:04:59,614 --> 00:05:03,479 Everybody, get out the fucking way! NOW! 111 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:05,015 CLAMOUR 112 00:05:11,282 --> 00:05:14,479 Only one of you can travel with her now, lads. 113 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,147 I never understood what an ambulance chaser was until now. 114 00:05:17,148 --> 00:05:20,480 SIREN 115 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:30,480 SHE COUGHS 116 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,480 It says here she's doing phenomenal. 117 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,480 It says "pneumonia". 118 00:05:40,015 --> 00:05:42,480 SHE COUGHS Is she going to be OK? 119 00:05:44,282 --> 00:05:45,480 It's not looking good. 120 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:50,479 The pneumonia has done severe damage to her lungs, 121 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,480 and the smoking hasn't helped. 122 00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:00,479 We can't just stand round here and watch my mam getting more sick. 123 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:03,479 The most important thing is to help lift her spirits. 124 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:06,480 Being in hospital over Christmas is going to be really tough. 125 00:06:06,481 --> 00:06:09,147 I'll pick us up something to eat, yeah? 126 00:06:09,148 --> 00:06:10,282 Happy meal? 127 00:06:15,481 --> 00:06:22,480 SOMBRE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC: We Wish You A Merry Christmas 128 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:26,148 Mam, you need something to lift your spirits. 129 00:06:27,481 --> 00:06:29,479 What would you like? 130 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:30,480 Yeah, we... 131 00:06:31,881 --> 00:06:33,480 ..we'll get you whatever you want. 132 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,480 SHE MUMBLES 133 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:45,480 Sorry, I didn't quite get that one. 134 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:49,480 I've never seen a white Christmas. 135 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:54,480 Hey. 136 00:06:55,480 --> 00:07:00,480 Are you sure there's nothing else that might lift your spirits? 137 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,479 Like... A bike. 138 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:04,480 Aye. 139 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:07,480 We could get you a bike. Yeah. 140 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,282 Just whisper the make and model. 141 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:18,480 No. 142 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:26,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.SubtitleDB.org today 143 00:07:44,282 --> 00:07:46,480 Ho-ho-ho, Merry Christmas! 144 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:51,881 I fucking hate Christmas. 145 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:56,479 Who's all that crap for, anyway? 146 00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:59,414 Conor and Jock. I bought presents for them? 147 00:07:59,415 --> 00:08:02,479 We'll need to drop it off to their house on the way home. Not a hope. 148 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:04,281 Their estate's like a war zone. 149 00:08:04,282 --> 00:08:05,479 OK, we'll walk. 150 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,614 Enda, did you bring your rape alarm? Yep. 151 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:10,480 Fine. 152 00:08:11,748 --> 00:08:13,479 Don't worry about it. 153 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:16,479 I'll do everything I'm told, because it's not about me, 154 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:19,014 it's about my money for Christmas on people I don't even like. 155 00:08:19,015 --> 00:08:20,479 That's what this is about. 156 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:23,479 I'll get you close. You can fuck the presents over the wall! 157 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:25,480 Barry, stop being a prick. 158 00:08:25,481 --> 00:08:26,747 What? 159 00:08:26,748 --> 00:08:28,479 You can't even get in. 160 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:29,480 I know a way. 161 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:38,480 You're going to break the fucking thing, Barry. 162 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:42,613 When you've got one dead parent, and another nearly dead parent 163 00:08:42,614 --> 00:08:45,479 in the hospital, the last thing you need is optimism. 164 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:47,481 There's actually lots of successful orphans in the world. 165 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:51,479 Like Batman. 166 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:53,281 I'm not an orphan. 167 00:08:53,282 --> 00:08:54,480 Well, what are you getting angry at me for? 168 00:08:54,481 --> 00:08:56,480 I'm just trying to comfort you. 169 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,148 Superman. Stop it. 170 00:09:03,748 --> 00:09:05,480 Harry Potter. Quit it. 171 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:12,479 God. 172 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:14,480 He's the ultimate orphan. 173 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:16,480 And very successful. 174 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:21,881 Hey! We could try praying to Him first, no? 175 00:09:31,282 --> 00:09:34,479 The Lord God works in mysterious ways. 176 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:37,480 Lads, get a load of this fucking prick. 177 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:43,479 ON IPAD: Why did you choose to film in Cork city? 178 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:46,147 Well, we needed a lot of weird-looking background people, 179 00:09:46,148 --> 00:09:48,480 and Cork has a lot to offer in this area. 180 00:09:50,748 --> 00:09:53,480 Could you point that thing in a different direction, please? 181 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:10,479 Here. We'll give you the phone unlocking code 182 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:13,480 after you tow the snow machine to the hospital. 183 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,479 And how are you going to get it out of there? 184 00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:19,479 That church is like Fort Knox since they started filming there. 185 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:22,479 We know this place better than we know our own dicks. 186 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:25,479 We break in to drink the altar wine. 187 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:28,480 And this time, we know a guy on the inside. 188 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:34,479 Explain it to me again. 189 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,479 It's a coin-toss competition. 190 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:37,613 Best of five. 191 00:10:37,614 --> 00:10:41,479 If we win, you let us in and turn a blind eye. 192 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:43,613 What do I get if I win? 193 00:10:43,614 --> 00:10:45,880 The knowledge that you won. 194 00:10:45,881 --> 00:10:48,479 What more could you want than the winning feeling 195 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,479 of a coin-toss competition? 196 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,480 You'd be king of the tossers. 197 00:10:53,881 --> 00:10:55,479 Are you fucking serious? 198 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:58,479 King of the fucking tossers. 199 00:10:58,480 --> 00:10:59,480 Fuck off. 200 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:02,614 You can punch us. 201 00:11:03,748 --> 00:11:05,479 What the fuck? 202 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:06,747 Do you want to help your mam or not? 203 00:11:06,748 --> 00:11:09,479 Well, obviously, but I bruise like a fucking peach. Yeah, 204 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:12,015 but you know the only thing he gets a kick out of is inflicting pain. 205 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:15,480 Fuck's sake. 206 00:11:16,881 --> 00:11:19,747 For every coin toss that you win, 207 00:11:19,748 --> 00:11:22,479 you get to punch one of us. 208 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:23,480 Both of you. 209 00:11:23,481 --> 00:11:26,479 That's the deal. Fine. 210 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:28,147 Has anyone got a coin? 211 00:11:28,148 --> 00:11:29,479 I've a chocolate one. 212 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,480 Do you mind if it's British? 213 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:37,147 Heads. 214 00:11:37,148 --> 00:11:38,880 Thank fuck! 215 00:11:38,881 --> 00:11:40,014 My go. 216 00:11:40,015 --> 00:11:41,480 HE LAUGHS 217 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:49,479 Tails. 218 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:52,480 HE LAUGHS 219 00:11:53,481 --> 00:11:56,480 Arm. Leg. 220 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:00,479 It's vitally important now that you don't move, 221 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:03,479 because I don't want to hit you in the face. 222 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:05,015 OK? 223 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,148 Ooh! Ow! 224 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:16,479 That kind of stung. 225 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:17,613 Ooh! 226 00:12:17,614 --> 00:12:19,015 All right? 227 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:23,747 I once tried to give up gambling, but I found it really difficult, 228 00:12:23,748 --> 00:12:27,479 because even when you're not gambling... Argh! 229 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,480 ..you're still KIND of gambling, 230 00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:30,479 doing things that don't feel like gambling. 231 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,613 Do you know what I mean? Not really. 232 00:12:32,614 --> 00:12:35,281 Like, I once battered this fella, 233 00:12:35,282 --> 00:12:38,480 so I got sent away for a couple of months to Cork Prison. 234 00:12:40,415 --> 00:12:41,747 But had I not stabbed him, 235 00:12:41,748 --> 00:12:45,479 I could be a fucking dentist now or something. 236 00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:46,480 I won again! HE LAUGHS 237 00:12:47,748 --> 00:12:49,480 It's my lucky day. 238 00:12:50,614 --> 00:12:53,014 Oh! 239 00:12:53,015 --> 00:12:54,480 Stomachs. 240 00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,147 BOTH: Ooh! 241 00:12:59,148 --> 00:13:00,282 THEY COUGH 242 00:13:01,282 --> 00:13:02,747 HE LAUGHS 243 00:13:02,748 --> 00:13:04,479 Whoo! 244 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:07,479 If I get this now, this is going to be three out of three. 245 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,479 Just flip the fucking thing, yeah? 246 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,479 All right. Relax. 247 00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:12,614 Jesus! 248 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,479 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 249 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:21,480 Whoa, whoa! 250 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:26,480 I win. 251 00:13:28,415 --> 00:13:29,480 Fuck! 252 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,480 We need two people to replace those actors who got pissed over lunch. 253 00:13:39,881 --> 00:13:43,480 Have any of you extras got acting experience? 254 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:48,481 Just get me two of the weirdest-looking fellas here. 255 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:54,479 Will they do? They're perfect. 256 00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:56,479 EXTRAS GROAN 257 00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:58,480 Right, you two, come with me. 258 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,480 BACKGROUND CHATTER 259 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:07,480 What the fuck? Fuck you! 260 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:10,479 FUCK! 261 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:12,480 GENERAL MOANING 262 00:14:12,481 --> 00:14:14,480 Get the fuck out...! 263 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:22,479 The IFTAs will be BEGGING me to take an award after this. 264 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:23,881 Begging me on their hands and knees. 265 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,479 Excuse me, Mr Sheehan. 266 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:36,880 Don't talk to me. 267 00:14:36,881 --> 00:14:39,480 I think he's acting. HE INHALES 268 00:14:39,481 --> 00:14:43,479 Are you acting? Shush, please. 269 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:44,880 Thank you. 270 00:14:44,881 --> 00:14:47,147 Five minutes, everyone. 271 00:14:47,148 --> 00:14:49,479 I took two sources of inspiration for this scene. 272 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:52,479 The original movie, Alien - "Argh, argh!" - 273 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:57,479 and this old Maltese lady who was having an asthma attack. 274 00:14:57,480 --> 00:15:00,479 And she was making the most fascinating sounds. 275 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:03,479 Strange, like... HE GASPS 276 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:06,479 That's where it comes... That's where the noise... 277 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:07,480 Wow. Yes, indeed it does. 278 00:15:07,481 --> 00:15:09,880 Ah, you can hear the Maltese in that. 279 00:15:09,881 --> 00:15:11,479 Yeah - thank you. 280 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,479 So good. Yeah, so good. Maltese. 281 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:17,747 You can hear it, like, yeah, it's Maltese. Yeah, yeah. 282 00:15:17,748 --> 00:15:21,479 That's more just someone doing a lisp. 283 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:22,480 Yeah. 284 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:26,747 Any tips? 285 00:15:26,748 --> 00:15:28,479 Tips? 286 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:31,479 Acting tips. It's our first time. 287 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:33,479 What do you mean, it's your first time? 288 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:34,747 OK, let's start it up, please! 289 00:15:34,748 --> 00:15:39,479 Ah, ah, ah! Listen, whatever you do, do not look into the camera. 290 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:43,281 OK? Great. You'll be great. You'll be great. OK, great. 291 00:15:43,282 --> 00:15:45,479 All set. 342, take one. 292 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:47,479 Argh! 293 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,479 And track. 294 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:51,479 HE GASPS 295 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:52,480 Action. 296 00:15:52,481 --> 00:15:55,479 Argh! GUNSHOT AND GASPING 297 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:59,613 I fear this fight may be at its end. 298 00:15:59,614 --> 00:16:04,479 Those soldiers may slash my flesh, 299 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:08,479 but God is my only judge. 300 00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:09,480 HE GASPS 301 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:14,480 Promise me one thing. 302 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,147 You have our word. 303 00:16:18,148 --> 00:16:20,479 You're looking straight into the camera. 304 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,613 Can we reset, please? 305 00:16:22,614 --> 00:16:24,747 What did I just say? 306 00:16:24,748 --> 00:16:26,479 Don't look at the camera. 307 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:27,480 And what did you do? 308 00:16:29,015 --> 00:16:30,479 I looked at the camera. 309 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:32,479 Yeah. 310 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:33,480 Sorry, Mr Sheehan. 311 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:42,480 Those soldiers may slash my flesh but God - 312 00:16:42,481 --> 00:16:45,480 God is my only judge. 313 00:16:47,148 --> 00:16:49,880 You've missed your mark. You have our word. 314 00:16:49,881 --> 00:16:51,479 You've missed your mark. 315 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,479 Your mark is here. 316 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,479 It's really, really simple. 317 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:57,414 Don't look at the camera, stay on your mark, 318 00:16:57,415 --> 00:16:59,479 concentrate, yeah? 319 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:01,479 I really want to get it on this next one, lads, OK. 320 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:04,479 Go for it, boy. I've got a good feeling about this one, yeah? 321 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:05,480 Yeah, yeah. 322 00:17:09,282 --> 00:17:11,479 You have our word. 323 00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:14,479 He's reading his lines off his fucking hand. 324 00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:16,479 Promise me one thing. 325 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:17,480 HE BELCHES 326 00:17:17,481 --> 00:17:18,881 Cut. 327 00:17:23,415 --> 00:17:27,480 Those soldiers may have slashed my flesh, but... 328 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:31,479 Cut to FUCK! 329 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:32,480 Argh! 330 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:44,014 Argh! 331 00:17:44,015 --> 00:17:45,480 Argh... 332 00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:49,747 God is my only judge! 333 00:17:49,748 --> 00:17:51,479 HE GASPS 334 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:52,480 CONOR STIFLES A LAUGH 335 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:57,479 God is my only judge! 336 00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:58,480 HE GASPS 337 00:17:58,481 --> 00:18:00,015 STIFLED LAUGHTER 338 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,281 Sorry, boy, sorry, boy. We've got this, we've got this. Right. 339 00:18:04,282 --> 00:18:07,414 Use a prop - use it. 340 00:18:07,415 --> 00:18:10,480 God is my only judge. 341 00:18:10,481 --> 00:18:12,479 HE GASPS 342 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:14,479 LAUGHTER 343 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:16,748 STIFLED LAUGHTER 344 00:18:19,481 --> 00:18:22,479 I'm never going to get this out. 345 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:23,480 HE GROANS 346 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:25,480 CONOR AND JOCK LAUGH 347 00:18:25,481 --> 00:18:30,414 Can we please just get a bit of professionalism around here? 348 00:18:30,415 --> 00:18:31,479 Aww...! 349 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:32,480 Take 57. 350 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:37,479 I heard Robert Pacino say once that great performances 351 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:38,881 come out of pain and suffering. 352 00:18:40,015 --> 00:18:43,014 I'd like to think we had something to do with helping Mr Sheehan 353 00:18:43,015 --> 00:18:44,479 get to that place. 354 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:46,480 Promise me one thing. 355 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,015 You have our word. 356 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:52,480 Find my mother. 357 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:55,480 Tell her... 358 00:18:58,614 --> 00:19:03,014 Tell her how deeply sorry I am 359 00:19:03,015 --> 00:19:05,481 for leaving her in her time of need. 360 00:19:13,415 --> 00:19:14,480 HE GROANS 361 00:19:15,881 --> 00:19:17,479 And cut. 362 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:20,480 Ohhh! Thank fuck for that! 363 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:24,480 Get out of my way, you two amateurs. 364 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:27,480 Argh! 365 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:36,479 Hey, hey. We're coming. We're coming. 366 00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:38,480 Just back it up to the gate. 367 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:46,480 HE GROANS 368 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:54,480 HE GROANS 369 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,415 All right, Billy. 370 00:19:59,881 --> 00:20:01,479 Heads or tails? 371 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:02,480 Heads. 372 00:20:02,481 --> 00:20:03,747 HE GROANS 373 00:20:03,748 --> 00:20:05,415 Fuck this! 374 00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:09,480 Over here. 375 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:16,480 I'm sorry about this, lads, but I take my job very seriously. 376 00:20:17,614 --> 00:20:19,480 THEY GROAN 377 00:20:21,415 --> 00:20:23,480 THEY COUGH 378 00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:28,479 What would you be doing with a snow machine, anyway? 379 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,479 You can't sell snow. 380 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,480 It melts. 381 00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:36,415 It's just my mam's not well. 382 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,480 And the doctor's saying she might not make it. 383 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:46,414 You see, she's always wanted to see a white Christmas. 384 00:20:46,415 --> 00:20:48,480 We were just trying to do something for her. 385 00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:52,480 You know what? 386 00:20:52,481 --> 00:20:56,480 I was really sick in hospital once. 387 00:20:58,415 --> 00:21:01,479 The only thing I wanted was for someone to sit with me 388 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,480 so I wouldn't be alone. 389 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:06,614 But no-one came. 390 00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:11,480 Who's sitting with your mum right now? 391 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,480 No-one. 392 00:21:18,415 --> 00:21:19,479 Lads, get the fuck out of here 393 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:22,480 before I kick the living shit out of you again. 394 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,480 Thanks, Billy. Thanks, Billy. 395 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:31,014 And tell your mam I was asking for her. 396 00:21:31,015 --> 00:21:32,480 Yeah. 397 00:21:47,148 --> 00:21:48,480 We tried our best, Mam, but... 398 00:21:52,748 --> 00:21:55,147 What an awful Christmas! 399 00:21:55,148 --> 00:21:57,479 Don't worry about it. 400 00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,479 The traffic is very bad. 401 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:01,479 Yeah. 402 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:05,479 I'll see you when I see you, all right? 403 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:06,480 Merry Christmas, son. 404 00:22:06,481 --> 00:22:09,415 Merry Christmas, boy. 405 00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:13,147 I think for every time one of us has a nice Christmas, 406 00:22:13,148 --> 00:22:16,414 someone else out there is having a shit one. 407 00:22:16,415 --> 00:22:17,479 Hiya. Hello. 408 00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:19,479 Hey, just thought we'd come over and say hi. 409 00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:22,479 I'm Conor, this is Jack. Conor. 410 00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:24,479 Hello, Jack. I'm Francie. Thanks for calling over. 411 00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:27,479 Pleased to meet you, boy. I like your eyebrows, kid. 412 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:30,479 Oh, yeah? Have you got a razor? I could do yours for you. 413 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:32,479 Go away. You're joking me. 414 00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:34,479 THEY LAUGH 415 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:36,480 Do you want...? What would I be like with one of them? 416 00:22:36,481 --> 00:22:38,281 KNOCK AT DOOR 417 00:22:38,282 --> 00:22:39,479 A hospital is the one place 418 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:41,479 where a stranger will never tell you to fuck off. 419 00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:42,480 Ssh, ssh! 420 00:22:43,881 --> 00:22:46,147 Good morning, doctor. SHE LAUGHS 421 00:22:46,148 --> 00:22:47,479 They'll all be happy to see you. 422 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:49,480 THEY LAUGH 423 00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:55,479 You can even go up and hug someone you never met before 424 00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:57,479 and they'll be grateful for it. 425 00:22:57,480 --> 00:22:59,480 HE SOBS 426 00:22:59,481 --> 00:23:01,479 Bang. Boom. 427 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:05,479 An old handshake or even a pat on the back in person 428 00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:08,479 will mean more than getting some shitty gift in the post. 429 00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:10,479 Stay still. Am I plucked? 430 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:14,414 THEY CHEER 431 00:23:14,415 --> 00:23:18,479 And doing something that might only take a minute out of your day 432 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:21,480 could last a lifetime in the memory of someone else. 433 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:26,479 ALL: Santa is a fanny! 434 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:30,281 Get away from me. You need to get back into bed. 435 00:23:30,282 --> 00:23:31,614 Get off me. Mairead, listen. 436 00:23:32,481 --> 00:23:35,479 Whoa! Whoa! 437 00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:36,480 Get back. 438 00:23:36,481 --> 00:23:38,479 I'll fucking do it. 439 00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:41,479 Oh! Aww, Jesus! 440 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:44,479 Sorry. What's going on? I want to go home. 441 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:47,281 She needs full-time medical supervision. 442 00:23:47,282 --> 00:23:48,415 Argh! 443 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,479 Everyone. 444 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:52,480 Let's be civilised. 445 00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:59,747 Look, you might know about sickness, you might know about medicine - 446 00:23:59,748 --> 00:24:04,147 but I know my mam, and she wants to be home for Christmas, 447 00:24:04,148 --> 00:24:06,148 and that's where she needs to be. 448 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:10,480 I don't even know who owns this. 449 00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:22,480 HUBBUB 450 00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:26,480 Right, come on, then. 451 00:24:28,015 --> 00:24:29,880 What's she doing out of hospital? 452 00:24:29,881 --> 00:24:32,480 Nice to fucking see you, too. Come on. 453 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:38,479 Can we get some help here, please, lads? Sick mammy coming through! 454 00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:41,147 Mothers spend their whole lives looking after other people, 455 00:24:41,148 --> 00:24:43,479 so when one of them gets sick, everyone knows it's time 456 00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,480 to put their differences aside. 457 00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:56,480 Could you stop here for a second, please? 458 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:00,613 One second. 459 00:25:00,614 --> 00:25:04,479 INDISTINCT CHATTER 460 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:07,479 Driver, can you get us to the other side of that barricade? 461 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:09,479 Not a bother, boy. 462 00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,479 Are you still there? 463 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:14,479 Yeah. I think I just figured out our publicity campaign. 464 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:15,748 Driver, chop-chop. 465 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:20,479 It's been two hours. 466 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:23,479 We're never getting out of this war zone of a housing estate. 467 00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:25,479 I told you not to come this way. 468 00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:28,148 Concentrate. Stop. Brake, brake, brake! 469 00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:41,147 Oh, that's great. He'll gallop off now and tell everyone we're here. 470 00:25:41,148 --> 00:25:43,479 In our neighbourhood, the riot police usually only turn up 471 00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:45,479 at good birthday parties. 472 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:47,479 SHOUTING 473 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:50,147 'Reinforcements are being sent in to help the Gardai 474 00:25:50,148 --> 00:25:51,479 'dismantle the barricades.' 475 00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:54,479 Everyone, let's do this peacefully. 476 00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:56,479 We're all people of Cork here. 477 00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:58,479 You can take our land, 478 00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:03,479 but you'll never take our FREEDOM! 479 00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:04,480 Come on! 480 00:26:04,481 --> 00:26:06,479 Aw - for fuck's sake! 481 00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:07,747 'The actor Robert Sheehan 482 00:26:07,748 --> 00:26:11,479 'has come to show his support for the Real Capital of Cork, 483 00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:14,613 'and it appears he has watched Braveheart one too many times.' 484 00:26:14,614 --> 00:26:18,480 CHEERING 485 00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:31,281 Long live the Real fucking Capital of Cork! 486 00:26:31,282 --> 00:26:33,747 I'm not fucking going anywhere. This is my fucking home. 487 00:26:33,748 --> 00:26:37,479 Fuck off, you fucking liar. Get your fucking hands off me! 488 00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:40,281 Fucking hell! Get your fucking hands off me! 489 00:26:40,282 --> 00:26:43,479 Get your fucking hands off my sister. She's dyslexic! 490 00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:47,281 Right, which house is theirs? And let's get the fuck out of here! 491 00:26:47,282 --> 00:26:48,480 It's that one there. 492 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:52,480 Jesus Christ! 493 00:26:54,148 --> 00:26:56,479 Right, whoever did that, you own up straightway 494 00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:58,281 or I'm calling the Gardai. 495 00:26:58,282 --> 00:27:00,479 Mentioning the Gardai is one idiotic thing to do 496 00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:03,147 with this shit going on around the corner. 497 00:27:03,148 --> 00:27:05,480 HUBBUB 498 00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:10,479 OK. Which one of you was it? 499 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:12,479 Get back in the fucking car. 500 00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:14,748 Get back in the fucking car, Bobby. 501 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:29,748 There's only one tree left. 502 00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:41,881 How about we burn the kitchen chairs instead? 503 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:48,881 MAIREAD COUGHS 504 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:52,479 COUGHING CONTINUES 505 00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:54,282 Keep calm. 506 00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:58,480 I am friends with a guard. 507 00:27:58,481 --> 00:28:00,479 Dad, don't fucking say that! 508 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:02,479 SCREAMING 509 00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:03,480 SHOUTING 510 00:28:03,481 --> 00:28:05,613 Oh, fucking hell! 511 00:28:05,614 --> 00:28:07,479 SHOUTING 512 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:10,414 Ah, no, no! No, no, no! 513 00:28:10,415 --> 00:28:12,015 Fuck! Dad, do something! 514 00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:15,480 He's not rain, Barry! 515 00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:21,480 COUGHING 516 00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:28,479 GASPING 517 00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:30,014 She's having a seizure. 518 00:28:30,015 --> 00:28:32,747 Quick, just get something for her mouth. To eat? 519 00:28:32,748 --> 00:28:34,613 No, like a wooden spoon or something. 520 00:28:34,614 --> 00:28:37,480 That won't help - you just need to wait for it to pass. 521 00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:39,480 It's OK, it's OK, it's OK. 522 00:28:41,415 --> 00:28:42,880 SHOUTING 523 00:28:42,881 --> 00:28:44,479 Go home, everybody, go home. 524 00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:45,480 This is our home. 525 00:28:45,481 --> 00:28:47,479 You, you fucking prick! 526 00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:50,479 SHOUTING 527 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:53,479 GASPING Mam, can you hear me? Come on! 528 00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:54,480 Mam. 529 00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:57,480 Mam, come on, fuck that, come on, please. 530 00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:01,282 SHOUTING Everybody go home! 531 00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:06,479 This is our home! 532 00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:09,747 Mam? Wake up, Mam. Come on, please! 533 00:29:09,748 --> 00:29:11,479 SHOUTING 534 00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:14,014 Calm down! We're going to be all right. 535 00:29:14,015 --> 00:29:15,748 Mam, wake the fuck up, will you? 536 00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:20,613 I think you only realise how important hope is 537 00:29:20,614 --> 00:29:22,480 when it's taken away. 538 00:29:26,614 --> 00:29:28,479 HUBBUB 539 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:31,480 Without hope, a community can be torn to shit. 540 00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:36,479 But if you gives someone hope... 541 00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:38,479 ..even just the tiniest bit... 542 00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:40,480 GASPS 543 00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:44,480 COUGHS AND RETCHES 544 00:29:48,015 --> 00:29:50,480 I'm just doing my job! 545 00:29:51,881 --> 00:29:53,614 Stop it! Stop it! 546 00:29:58,415 --> 00:30:00,282 Mam. What you looking at? 547 00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:06,479 HUBBUB 548 00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:08,481 CROWD QUIETENS 549 00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:19,014 COUGHS 550 00:30:19,015 --> 00:30:22,148 Give her some space, give her some space. You're OK. 551 00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:25,480 Get away. It's OK, it's OK. 552 00:30:25,481 --> 00:30:27,481 I'll give you space. 553 00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:34,479 Girls, get back inside! 554 00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:35,481 Orla! 555 00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:49,480 It's snowing! 556 00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:02,481 TINKLING MUSIC PLAYS 557 00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:13,480 INSTRUMENTAL: We Wish You A Merry Christmas 558 00:31:34,015 --> 00:31:35,614 Happy Christmas, everyone. 559 00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:50,480 Happy Christmas to you, too, Mister. 560 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:54,480 Thank you. You're welcome. 561 00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:01,479 Maybe Christmas IS a time for giving. 562 00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:03,480 Even when you've got fuck all. 563 00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:08,480 Bah, humbug. 563 00:32:09,305 --> 00:32:15,676 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from SubtitleDB.org 50357