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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:21,009 You are about to witness a murder. My murder. 4 00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:24,512 Alfred! 5 00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:26,852 Why was I stabbed in the chest? 6 00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:28,348 Did I know too much? 7 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:30,138 Did I know too little? 8 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:32,269 Did I know just enough? 9 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:35,102 Or was it my shower cap? 10 00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:43,994 It all began three short days ago in Los Angeles, California. 11 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,376 It was a day like any other day. 12 00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:01,466 Can't we all just get along? 13 00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:05,411 Hey, hey, hey excuse me, hey, Rodney. 14 00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,175 Hey, could you give me another take of that? 15 00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:08,726 Last time I shot it, it was too dark. 16 00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:10,930 It was night, remember? 17 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,140 - Thank you. - Hey! 18 00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:20,449 Stop where you are! 19 00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:21,732 We're going to take 'em down! 20 00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:23,408 Dead or alive! 21 00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:27,904 No more "Mr. nice guy"! 22 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:31,544 Tell me, don't die! 23 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:33,209 Tell me quick, who was it, who was it? 24 00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:34,661 It was... who was it? 25 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:36,496 It was the gimp. 26 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:54,014 These are the feet of rookie FBI agent Jo Dee fostar. 27 00:03:56,778 --> 00:04:00,691 He is in heavy training for his first big case. 28 00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:23,756 FBI rookies get the finest training equipment. 29 00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,261 Thank you, Jo. 30 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,729 Pleasure. 31 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:36,397 See you tomorrow! 32 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,353 Morning, Jo. 33 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:42,733 Morning, George. 34 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:43,939 Still running, I see. 35 00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,034 Sure. 36 00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:46,486 I used to run for office. 37 00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,202 Now you run to office. 38 00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:51,954 What's so funny? I didn't get it. 39 00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:53,623 - Oh, it's nothing. - You want some? 40 00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:55,416 Oh, thank you, I got my own. 41 00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:56,835 Ah, go for it. 42 00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:03,719 Good morning, Jo. 43 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,214 Morning, bill, how's it going? 44 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,511 Fine, fine. 45 00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:08,088 "Dawn of the dead" is it? 46 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:14,933 I see the presidential escort is out, but where's the president? 47 00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:17,014 - He's right here. - Here? 48 00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:19,099 I only see her husband. 49 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,276 What's so funny? 50 00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:24,605 What's he blowing so hard for? 51 00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:26,530 You know he doesn't inhale. 52 00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:30,236 And no one in the us of a will inhale after I tax the air they breathe. 53 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,570 What do you mean by that? 54 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:34,907 This is the way you thank me after I save your ass from Saddam's killers? 55 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,441 Those missiles cost money, you know? 56 00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:38,164 Who's going to pay for that? 57 00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:53,683 Halt! 58 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:56,011 - You Jo Dee fostar? - How do you know? 59 00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,746 30 years out on the job he wants to know. 60 00:05:57,816 --> 00:05:59,181 The boss wants you! 61 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:01,337 - The boss wants... - And where in hell have you been? 62 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,147 - I went outside on... - Shut up! 63 00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:05,524 I didn't authorize you to speak! 64 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,480 - Can I say one thing? - Why? Sure. 65 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,368 Okay, now look... 66 00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:10,452 Shut up! 67 00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:16,915 Unbelievable, have you read this? 68 00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:19,459 Guy can go out and get a sex change one day. 69 00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:23,664 And the next he comes into the office and we're supposed to call him madam. 70 00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,419 Unbelievable. 71 00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:32,092 Never mind him. 72 00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:36,597 Remember, here you not only got to know how to talk, you got to know how to listen! 73 00:06:36,688 --> 00:06:38,895 After all, this is... 74 00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:43,600 The FBI! 75 00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:49,781 Jo followed the sergeant to a division of the FBI... 76 00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:53,452 Who deal only with the most violent criminals. 77 00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,579 The game is up lady. 78 00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:59,749 We have had you followed and we know what you're about. 79 00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:04,125 Miss Sharon bone, cut the crap and come clean! 80 00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:07,207 I told you what happened that day. 81 00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:11,218 I have nothing else to say. 82 00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:13,092 Sharon bone, you're lying. 83 00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,014 Stop pulling our legs! 84 00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:33,241 If Jo thought this was going to be a routine assignment... 85 00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:36,365 He was in for a big surprise. 86 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,993 Now wait here boy, and stay put! 87 00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:44,169 Remember, learning how to wait is one of the secrets of the FBI! 88 00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:04,811 His boss, inspector putrid, was a man of energy and passion who held nothing in. 89 00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:07,271 Hi, Jo. 90 00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:08,943 Sorry to keep you waiting. 91 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,691 I don't feel too good. 92 00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:14,775 Must've eaten something to upset my intestines. Could have been those oysters. 93 00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:19,909 Fried the shell with Mexican refried beans, onions, paprika... 94 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:24,585 Peanut oil, dates, okra, jalapenos, a touch of ginger. 95 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:27,412 Not now, ginger. 96 00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:32,129 Boy, I feel down in the dumps! 97 00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:36,884 Speaking of dumps, that's the sixth time today I've ridden the old porcelain pony. 98 00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:41,093 Anyway, the mission I'm entrusting to you is very delicate. 99 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,427 It's a dirty job. 100 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:47,687 It really stinks, because the killer is a psychopath. 101 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:50,689 Extremely, extremely dangerous man. 102 00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:56,650 In order to get the most accurate information possible... 103 00:08:56,745 --> 00:09:00,033 We decided to question all prison inmates who have the same hang-up. 104 00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:02,364 What conclusions have you found? 105 00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:06,077 There are no psychopathic inmates in the entire us of a. 106 00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:09,254 That's too bad. I would've given $10,000 to meet one. 107 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:11,831 Oh, here's one! Found him! 108 00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:15,293 I just remembered that I have one up in the Hollywood nuthouse. 109 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:16,388 Pay up, Jo. 110 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,547 Boss, come on now. It's just a figure of speech. 111 00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:19,881 Settle down, boy. 112 00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,136 Close the door. 113 00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:22,467 Close the door! 114 00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:29,065 Now you remember, boy, we don't use figures of speech around here. 115 00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:33,065 You belong to the fb... 116 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,743 Thank god he missed my car. 117 00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:45,164 $10,000. 118 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,991 This man is smart as a gorilla. 119 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,577 He's strong as a fox! 120 00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:49,911 You be careful. 121 00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:52,125 Thanks, boss. 122 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:57,339 Jo, I am sick of sneaking around during my lunch break. 123 00:09:57,430 --> 00:10:00,638 Either we get married or no more pokey. 124 00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:03,558 Jane, marrying you is my dream, but right now times are hard. 125 00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:06,102 Yeah, I can see how hard they are. 126 00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:08,726 Oh, but darling, money isn't everything. 127 00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:11,399 I can get by on your cash flow. 128 00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:15,153 Jane, let's not touch that subject for the moment. 129 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,105 - Oh. - Lunch is over. 130 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,690 We got to get back to the office. 131 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:21,527 Jo, you're the longest boyfriend I've had here in Los Angeles... 132 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:24,203 But I can't take it anymore. 133 00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,155 I want respectability. 134 00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,287 I want a house with a white picket fence. 135 00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:30,209 I want children parked in the garage. 136 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,287 I want a station wagon playing in the yard. 137 00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:34,839 Wait, what are you trying to tell me? You want to leave me? 138 00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:38,510 You know this is a delicate moment. I have to finish my FBI training course. 139 00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:40,712 They just assigned me to a very important case... 140 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:43,173 That could launch my career and you want me to marry you. 141 00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:44,474 Knowing I just got a divorce. 142 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:46,722 All right, she was my mother, but she's still a woman. 143 00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:48,223 And she loves me. 144 00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:51,439 Which reminds me, I have to pay alimony. 145 00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:54,768 Which I can't do because I don't have any money. Don't you see my dilemma? 146 00:10:54,863 --> 00:10:56,854 No, of course you don't. 147 00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:59,610 Nope, you don't understand. 148 00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:02,363 Or you don't want to understand. 149 00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:06,446 No, you don't want to understand and you're selfish. 150 00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:10,705 You don't understand, you're selfish, and you're inconsiderate. 151 00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:14,162 You don't understand, you're selfish, inconsiderate and, and... 152 00:11:14,257 --> 00:11:16,964 I'm sorry, you're sick and tired of hearing this aren't you? 153 00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:18,051 You must leave, darling. 154 00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:23,547 Ooh, Jo, I've never seen you so mighty before. 155 00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:24,881 It's nothing. 156 00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:30,937 I always get this way when I'm in the act of solving a case. 157 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,139 I'll give you a lift. 158 00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:36,317 That's okay, I can catch the bus right outside. 159 00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:54,164 Jo was nervous. 160 00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:58,214 His investigation had to begin at the Hollywood nuthouse. 161 00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:06,844 There it was, ominous and intimidating. 162 00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:09,301 Jo needed to proceed with caution. 163 00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:16,608 And above all, not lose sight of his objective. 164 00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:37,120 Good evening. FBI, I have an appointment. 165 00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:57,686 It was a tough prison. 166 00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:01,986 Inmates were released only if they consented to medical experiments. 167 00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:03,734 Okay, malicious Mel. 168 00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:06,157 Here are your personal affects. 169 00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:09,702 Must be pretty excited to be getting out of here after 30 years, huh? 170 00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:15,579 This one just had cosmetic surgery. 171 00:13:18,256 --> 00:13:19,336 Bye bye now. 172 00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:25,252 The man you want to see is in this wing. 173 00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:26,346 Good luck. 174 00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:46,443 Master, master, why do I have such an ugly face? 175 00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:49,446 Here, kiss this, it'll make you prettier! 176 00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:52,370 Oh, it's alive, its alive! 177 00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:03,331 Buddy, you better be real careful. 178 00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,124 Dr. animal is very dangerous. 179 00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:08,177 His intelligence goes beyond the borders of the human mind. 180 00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:10,971 His savagery goes beyond the borders of the animal. 181 00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:13,971 How'd he go beyond all these borders if he doesn't have a passport? 182 00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:17,728 There's little to laugh about. 183 00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:19,771 Look what he did to his victims. 184 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,601 Take those photos, it's terrible. 185 00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:53,931 Well that's why they called him Dr. animal cannibal pizza. 186 00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:57,260 He was a psychiatrist and one day he got evicted. 187 00:14:57,355 --> 00:15:00,813 Homeless and with no office and being of Italian origin... 188 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:04,563 He began to see his patients in a pizza joint during closing time. 189 00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:07,270 You go down through this tunnel, then I'll open the gate... 190 00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:09,856 Which will lead to Dr. animals cell. 191 00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:13,569 Once inside, don't stop along the way... 192 00:15:13,663 --> 00:15:16,905 And don't be afraid of the other inmates in the wing. 193 00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:24,253 And above all, don't feed Dr. animal. 194 00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:28,208 Once upon a time a guard succumbed to his flattery and gave him a tomato. 195 00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:30,884 The poor slob was found ground up in a bottle of ketchup... 196 00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:33,384 On a table at McDonald's in San Diego. 197 00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:37,968 Do me a favor, keep it down, this is a delicate case and my mission is top secret. 198 00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:41,395 - Don't worry, my lips are sealed. - Thanks. 199 00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:45,646 Hey guys, there's another asshole cop going down to see animal cannibal! 200 00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:49,649 Give me the phone, I want to call the newspapers! 201 00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:56,658 The maximum security wing, horrible, terrifying, blood-curdling. 202 00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:10,128 Excuse me, miss. 203 00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:16,593 Exactly where is the unbelievably bad maniacs wing? 204 00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:17,684 Follow me. 205 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:25,974 Here we are sir. 206 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,760 Misery... misery must not die! 207 00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:15,652 Jo was about to meet the most diabolical and cunning killer of all time... 208 00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:17,901 Dr. animal. 209 00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:22,072 Good morning. 210 00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:23,747 - Good morning. - Don't move. 211 00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:25,449 Please, miss, don't say a word. 212 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,081 Just give me a moment. 213 00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:29,583 You're a woman, you're black. 214 00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:32,627 From a very strange place. 215 00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:33,718 Cleveland! 216 00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:36,669 You're wearing earth tones. 217 00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:41,258 You used to date a policeman, but you just couldn't cop it. 218 00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:43,468 He made you very unhappy. 219 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:44,563 Is that... 220 00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:47,980 Where is she? Where'd she go? And who are you? 221 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,649 I'm white and I'm male, you didn't get one of those things right. 222 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:51,736 I have a cold. 223 00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:52,856 Are you from Pittsburgh? 224 00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:55,188 - No, I'm with the FBI. - Shit. 225 00:17:55,283 --> 00:17:56,898 I'm here for your advice. 226 00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:58,574 May I be frank? 227 00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:00,661 - I thought you were Jo? - All right, I'll be both. 228 00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:02,241 I need your help to nail a killer. 229 00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:03,821 I know, I know. 230 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:07,534 I have psychic powers but there's no air in here. 231 00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:11,621 I'm cooped up. I'm being held against my will and my Willy. 232 00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:12,876 Don't you understand? 233 00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:16,084 My psychic powers have been farmisht. 234 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,387 - For what? - Forget it. 235 00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:21,474 FBI. 236 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:25,598 May I see your credentials please? 237 00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:29,058 Closer please. 238 00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:34,904 Closer. 239 00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:38,325 Closer. 240 00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:41,408 Close enough. 241 00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:48,701 Oh how I long for nice hot pizza made with the brains of an intellect. 242 00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:50,330 I miss that texture. 243 00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:52,711 I can smell your aqua velva. 244 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:11,977 Pencils, pens, puce. 245 00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:14,566 Give me a break. 246 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:19,991 Hey, stay. 247 00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:32,578 Humpty dumpty sat on a wall, humpty dumpty had a great fall. 248 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:36,506 All the king's horses and all the king's men had scrambled eggs. 249 00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:37,923 Oh, I like you, miss... 250 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,010 Mister. 251 00:19:39,053 --> 00:19:41,135 Please, call me doctor. 252 00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:42,758 Did you do those drawings, doctor? 253 00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:46,181 Yes, I'm taking a correspondence course. 254 00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:47,849 Dr. animal. 255 00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:48,937 Call me a. 256 00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:51,019 A? 257 00:19:51,107 --> 00:19:53,473 Also, call me doctor. 258 00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:54,807 A doctor. 259 00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:58,231 - Dr. a. - Excuse me. Dr. a. 260 00:19:58,322 --> 00:20:01,064 - Bingo. - Dr. a. Bingo? 261 00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:02,694 Moving on. 262 00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:07,863 See, it's the, well it's the first of my career actually. 263 00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:10,164 - We're chasing a killer... - Bah! 264 00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:11,661 I'm getting a vision. 265 00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:15,665 Wait, I see a man-eating dog. 266 00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:18,459 - Man-eating dog? - Yes, we could be friends. 267 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,883 He has fierce, fierce teeth. 268 00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:23,677 He's biting all of his victims in the groin. 269 00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:24,764 Who? 270 00:20:24,807 --> 00:20:27,514 They all died with a surprised look on their face. 271 00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:28,601 It's no wonder. 272 00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:31,018 Oh wait. Wait! 273 00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:34,357 It's Lassie. 274 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,857 Hello, Lassie, what's going on? 275 00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:40,562 Oh, she's very upset about Benji having all that screen time. 276 00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:44,444 Wait, wait, she's also unhappy with little Timmy. 277 00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:46,025 The bitch is really pissed. 278 00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,156 Doctor, I appreciate all you're doing for me. 279 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,612 I really do, but... 280 00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:51,493 - Oh don't be silly. - But... 281 00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:53,120 It's all right, it's my pleasure. 282 00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:54,210 But, but, but... 283 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,369 You sound like a motorboat, stow it! 284 00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:58,125 I grow tired. 285 00:20:58,215 --> 00:21:00,627 I go to the arms of orpheus! 286 00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:03,052 Goodnight. 287 00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:11,638 It's incredible. 288 00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:15,017 He doesn't even obey the law of gravity. 289 00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:21,560 Meanwhile, Jane returned to work... 290 00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:25,022 Hot realizing her life was about to make an abrupt change. 291 00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:32,114 Five, four, three, two, one, ignition. 292 00:21:38,088 --> 00:21:40,955 Mr. lobby, please come to reception. 293 00:21:41,050 --> 00:21:42,665 Is Mr. Laurel back yet? 294 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:43,760 No. 295 00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,464 That dear sweet man. 296 00:21:46,514 --> 00:21:48,880 He's working so hard. 297 00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:53,217 Sponging lunch off that rich Scandinavian client. 298 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:56,141 Miss reception, please come to the lobby. 299 00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:57,642 You look funny. 300 00:21:58,484 --> 00:22:00,600 Have some coffee. 301 00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:04,061 You know for seven years now you've been asking me if I want coffee. 302 00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:05,487 I don't want coffee. 303 00:22:05,574 --> 00:22:06,734 I hate coffee! 304 00:22:08,619 --> 00:22:10,109 Sweet ladies. 305 00:22:10,204 --> 00:22:13,617 Your boss just closed one humongous deal. 306 00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:17,408 Hardy, bring out the drinks. 307 00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:20,415 Laurel, my name is Laurel. 308 00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:22,246 It's a terrific deal. 309 00:22:23,259 --> 00:22:25,875 I stuck it to him, I stuck it to him. 310 00:22:25,970 --> 00:22:27,050 For $400,000. 311 00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:28,923 Excuse me. 312 00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:30,174 What's your name? 313 00:22:30,266 --> 00:22:32,632 Olaf, I'm Swedish. 314 00:22:32,726 --> 00:22:34,808 Come on, are you really Swedish? 315 00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:36,101 Not really. 316 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:38,895 My father's Finnish and my mother's Russian. 317 00:22:38,983 --> 00:22:41,019 I could tell by your accent. 318 00:22:41,110 --> 00:22:44,694 Have some coffee, it's good for your circulation. 319 00:22:44,780 --> 00:22:45,815 No, thank you. 320 00:22:45,906 --> 00:22:48,943 I don't like coffee, I prefer salmon juice. 321 00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:50,695 Well have some coffee! 322 00:22:50,786 --> 00:22:51,946 No! 323 00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:54,153 Oh, it's very good. 324 00:22:54,248 --> 00:22:56,955 Why don't you tell him, Mr. Hardy. 325 00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:59,374 Laurel, my name is Laurel! 326 00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:05,752 When she acts like that I could just smack her right in the mouth! 327 00:23:05,843 --> 00:23:09,210 Jane, dear, would you put the money in the safe please? 328 00:23:09,305 --> 00:23:10,305 Okay, boss. 329 00:23:13,601 --> 00:23:15,011 Right this way. 330 00:23:19,273 --> 00:23:21,514 I stuck it to him, I stuck it to him. 331 00:23:21,609 --> 00:23:23,600 Now, where were we? 332 00:23:23,694 --> 00:23:24,934 Have some coffee. 333 00:23:25,029 --> 00:23:26,519 It's good! 334 00:23:26,614 --> 00:23:30,402 I don't want none of your god damn coffee! 335 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:52,712 Marrying you is my biggest dream, but I don't have a dime! 336 00:23:52,806 --> 00:23:56,424 Your boss just closed one humongous deal. 337 00:23:56,518 --> 00:23:58,474 For $400,000. 338 00:23:58,562 --> 00:24:01,002 And now you want me to marry you knowing I just got a divorce. 339 00:24:01,065 --> 00:24:03,181 I always pay in cash. 340 00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:04,936 Would you put all this money in the safe. 341 00:24:05,027 --> 00:24:07,860 Won't you take me to funky town? 342 00:24:09,698 --> 00:24:12,940 The voices in her head had exhausted her. 343 00:24:13,035 --> 00:24:16,493 So she pulled off the road and began sleeping like a baby. 344 00:24:23,462 --> 00:24:24,952 Dear Jane, you were right. 345 00:24:25,047 --> 00:24:27,459 The hell with being broke, let's get married anyway. 346 00:24:27,549 --> 00:24:28,664 All I really want is you. 347 00:24:28,759 --> 00:24:30,545 Therefore, please fill out the attached form. 348 00:24:30,636 --> 00:24:32,797 A, is the house you live in yours? 349 00:24:32,888 --> 00:24:35,550 B, please list all stocks and bonds held. 350 00:24:35,641 --> 00:24:37,757 C, list any other possessions of value: 351 00:24:37,851 --> 00:24:40,058 Furs, jewelry, stamp collections, et cetera. 352 00:24:41,313 --> 00:24:44,521 Rover, how many times have I told you? 353 00:24:44,608 --> 00:24:45,723 Hmm? 354 00:24:45,818 --> 00:24:49,982 Come on now, you know, there's no sitting on the table. 355 00:25:05,129 --> 00:25:09,964 Jo had an unexpected visitor, it was the woman in blue. 356 00:25:15,472 --> 00:25:17,508 Listen, bastard, I'll break your face! 357 00:25:17,599 --> 00:25:20,215 Where have you hidden my sister Jane? 358 00:25:20,310 --> 00:25:21,846 No wonder she didn't invite me over. 359 00:25:21,937 --> 00:25:22,972 What's your name? 360 00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:25,099 - My name is Lily. - What's with the accent? 361 00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:29,524 It's not an accent, it's the dentures I inherited from my Polish grandmother. 362 00:25:30,612 --> 00:25:33,274 I want to know where Jane is, she's been missing since Friday! 363 00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:36,198 That's awful, I'm very worried. We had reservations at the macaco. 364 00:25:36,285 --> 00:25:37,804 What are you doing for dinner tonight? 365 00:25:37,828 --> 00:25:40,194 Tell me where you stashed Jane or I call the cops! 366 00:25:40,289 --> 00:25:42,325 No need to do that. 367 00:25:42,416 --> 00:25:44,782 My name is Martin balsam. 368 00:25:44,877 --> 00:25:46,208 I'm a private eye. 369 00:25:46,295 --> 00:25:48,377 - Well come in. - No, no. 370 00:25:48,464 --> 00:25:53,049 I never enter a house without a search warrant. 371 00:25:53,135 --> 00:25:55,877 Can you show me your ID? 372 00:25:57,306 --> 00:25:59,342 You know you look better in pictures? 373 00:25:59,433 --> 00:26:01,219 You should see me in a bikini. 374 00:26:01,310 --> 00:26:02,310 What brings you here? 375 00:26:07,649 --> 00:26:11,312 I was hired by your sister's boss Mr. Laurel. 376 00:26:12,362 --> 00:26:15,274 Your sister took off with $400,000. 377 00:26:16,992 --> 00:26:17,992 Four... 400,000? 378 00:26:18,243 --> 00:26:21,610 She shouldn't have done that. I'll go find it. Her. 379 00:26:22,623 --> 00:26:24,238 - Jane! - Let him go. 380 00:26:24,333 --> 00:26:25,948 Let him go, he's very much in love. 381 00:26:26,043 --> 00:26:28,534 - With your sister? - No, with money. 382 00:26:29,379 --> 00:26:32,462 Whenever he comes to see her he puts in for travel expenses. 383 00:26:32,549 --> 00:26:36,792 Well, as soon as I get a lead, I'll let you know. 384 00:26:36,887 --> 00:26:38,047 Thank you, inspector! 385 00:26:38,138 --> 00:26:39,253 He'll break the case. 386 00:26:43,143 --> 00:26:45,475 He'll break his nose. 387 00:26:57,199 --> 00:26:59,861 Oh my god, it's an earthquake! 388 00:27:01,203 --> 00:27:02,613 It's the big one. 389 00:27:08,710 --> 00:27:10,621 Got a problem ma'am? 390 00:27:10,712 --> 00:27:11,872 Yes, officer. 391 00:27:11,964 --> 00:27:14,626 The tar on my gums is really unsightly. 392 00:27:14,716 --> 00:27:18,208 May I see your driver's license, please? 393 00:27:21,974 --> 00:27:22,974 Oops. 394 00:27:23,016 --> 00:27:25,507 I'm sorry that's my boyfriend Jo's. 395 00:27:25,602 --> 00:27:27,012 Oh! 396 00:27:27,104 --> 00:27:28,969 Can I have Jo's phone number? 397 00:27:29,064 --> 00:27:30,064 No! 398 00:28:13,942 --> 00:28:17,025 Excuse me. Sorry, charlene. Our fault! 399 00:28:26,580 --> 00:28:30,164 Finally destiny was about to bring Jane and me together. 400 00:29:02,616 --> 00:29:03,856 Good evening. 401 00:29:05,661 --> 00:29:08,152 Welcome to the cemetery motel. 402 00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:13,998 Cemetery is a strange name for a motel. 403 00:29:14,086 --> 00:29:19,080 This is not a motel called the cemetery, this is a cemetery called the motel. 404 00:29:19,174 --> 00:29:21,790 In fact, my name is Antonio motel. 405 00:29:21,885 --> 00:29:26,128 Believe me, here one really rests in peace. 406 00:29:35,857 --> 00:29:40,567 The police were hot on her trail, but at night the gods were with her. 407 00:29:45,450 --> 00:29:47,441 What can't I do for you? 408 00:29:48,620 --> 00:29:50,281 That storm is awful. 409 00:29:50,372 --> 00:29:52,954 The storms around here are really treacherous. 410 00:29:53,041 --> 00:29:55,953 They sneak up on you and stab you in the back. 411 00:29:56,044 --> 00:29:57,784 Cut right through to the bone! 412 00:29:57,879 --> 00:29:58,879 Listen... 413 00:29:58,922 --> 00:30:00,583 Blow after blow after blow! 414 00:30:00,674 --> 00:30:01,754 I'd like a room please. 415 00:30:01,842 --> 00:30:05,505 Striking, slicing, cutting, hacking, lopping! 416 00:30:05,595 --> 00:30:06,835 Right away ma'am. 417 00:30:06,930 --> 00:30:08,466 I have one all made up. 418 00:30:08,557 --> 00:30:09,888 It's the off season. 419 00:30:09,975 --> 00:30:11,931 During the season we are closed. 420 00:30:12,019 --> 00:30:13,680 Pick a key, any key. 421 00:30:14,604 --> 00:30:16,515 They are all the same. 422 00:30:16,606 --> 00:30:18,016 Ugh, what rotten luck. 423 00:30:18,108 --> 00:30:19,393 I just hate the number 13. 424 00:30:19,484 --> 00:30:21,315 I'll take you there. 425 00:30:21,403 --> 00:30:22,643 Right this way. 426 00:30:25,949 --> 00:30:27,655 Here we are, signorina. 427 00:30:27,743 --> 00:30:29,199 Goodnight, Mr. motel. 428 00:30:29,286 --> 00:30:31,447 Buona notte. 429 00:30:31,538 --> 00:30:34,280 By the way, where are you from? 430 00:30:34,374 --> 00:30:36,365 You have a very strange accent. 431 00:30:36,460 --> 00:30:38,075 I'm originally Italian. 432 00:30:38,170 --> 00:30:39,831 Oh, I love Italy. 433 00:30:39,921 --> 00:30:41,912 All your beautiful cities. 434 00:30:42,007 --> 00:30:43,838 Paris, London, Munich. 435 00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:47,092 What a beautiful, beautiful country. 436 00:30:47,179 --> 00:30:48,510 I don't remember your name. 437 00:30:48,597 --> 00:30:50,679 You know, nobody ever comes here. 438 00:30:50,766 --> 00:30:52,802 It's hard to remember them all. 439 00:30:52,893 --> 00:30:54,758 - Jane. - Ah, Jane. 440 00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:57,306 Like my cousin Maria. 441 00:30:57,397 --> 00:31:01,310 Ah Jane, if you need anything just knock on the wall. 442 00:31:01,401 --> 00:31:02,641 I don't answer. 443 00:31:03,612 --> 00:31:04,943 I almost forgot. 444 00:31:05,030 --> 00:31:07,362 I'd like you to have a dinner with me later. 445 00:31:07,449 --> 00:31:12,864 There is an Italian restaurant quite close which does terrific Italian food. 446 00:31:12,954 --> 00:31:14,285 Let's go. 447 00:31:14,373 --> 00:31:16,455 I'm sorry, it's closed. 448 00:31:18,335 --> 00:31:20,371 Well, see what you can do. 449 00:31:20,462 --> 00:31:25,377 I can never get to sleep unless I get something into my tummy. 450 00:31:42,776 --> 00:31:45,438 She's going to come to a bad end. 451 00:31:53,662 --> 00:31:55,323 How many times have I told you? 452 00:31:55,414 --> 00:31:57,245 No women in the house! 453 00:31:57,332 --> 00:31:59,072 You must have straw in your head! 454 00:31:59,167 --> 00:32:00,748 Stupido! 455 00:32:00,836 --> 00:32:02,622 Mama, why are you talking? 456 00:32:02,712 --> 00:32:04,828 You haven't appeared yet in the movie. 457 00:32:04,923 --> 00:32:07,915 Please, read the script and shut up. 458 00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:18,305 Mr. motel, I hope I haven't caused a problem by being here. 459 00:32:18,395 --> 00:32:19,805 No, no problem. 460 00:32:19,896 --> 00:32:22,137 I remember that you love Italian food. 461 00:32:22,232 --> 00:32:23,232 Do you like spaghetti? 462 00:32:23,275 --> 00:32:24,811 Yes, terrific. 463 00:32:24,901 --> 00:32:27,358 I'm sorry, I prepared tacos. 464 00:32:27,446 --> 00:32:28,561 Buona notte. 465 00:32:34,619 --> 00:32:35,984 Hello, who's speaking? 466 00:32:36,079 --> 00:32:37,410 This is your commander, Jo. 467 00:32:37,497 --> 00:32:39,408 Get over to hellraiser park on the double. 468 00:32:39,499 --> 00:32:41,615 The psycho killer has struck again. 469 00:32:41,710 --> 00:32:43,450 I'm on my way boss. 470 00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:49,957 Even in the middle of the night Jo was ready for action. 471 00:32:51,678 --> 00:32:56,422 He got rid of his five o'clock shadow for a 10 o'clock shadow. 472 00:32:59,102 --> 00:33:02,094 Hey Tony, tie that yellow ribbon around the old oak tree. 473 00:33:02,189 --> 00:33:03,520 What's this thing for anyway? 474 00:33:03,607 --> 00:33:04,642 Catch flies. 475 00:33:04,733 --> 00:33:06,018 Ah. 476 00:33:09,696 --> 00:33:13,154 Oh, crazed murderer, psycho killer, all over the place. 477 00:33:13,241 --> 00:33:16,699 I'm sorry boss, I couldn't understand you with your cigar in your mouth there. 478 00:33:16,786 --> 00:33:19,619 Oh crazy, murder, psycho killer. 479 00:33:21,416 --> 00:33:23,748 I know, he must've been dead for weeks. 480 00:33:23,835 --> 00:33:25,555 I can smell that stink all the way out here. 481 00:33:25,629 --> 00:33:26,709 What stink? 482 00:33:26,796 --> 00:33:27,876 The decomposition. 483 00:33:27,964 --> 00:33:29,044 Oh no, no, no, no, no. 484 00:33:29,132 --> 00:33:30,167 That's not him, it's me. 485 00:33:30,258 --> 00:33:32,499 It's me, it's my breath. 486 00:33:32,594 --> 00:33:36,382 I don't think I completely digested those frozen pigeon patties after breakfast. 487 00:33:36,473 --> 00:33:40,466 Fried pork lard sauce, almonds, prunes, cilantro. 488 00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:42,141 - Sergeant! - Yeah chief. 489 00:33:42,229 --> 00:33:45,096 - Has forensics come up with anything? - Yeah, yeah, go on in! 490 00:33:45,190 --> 00:33:49,183 You see, Jo, sergeant here is a prime example of loyalty to the force. 491 00:33:49,277 --> 00:33:53,065 Always on the job even though he's feeling a little under the weather. 492 00:33:53,949 --> 00:33:55,655 I got to hand it to you. 493 00:34:00,956 --> 00:34:02,162 Did you find. 494 00:34:02,249 --> 00:34:03,249 Did you... 495 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:10,461 You find anything? Any prints? 496 00:34:10,549 --> 00:34:11,834 Just one. 497 00:34:11,925 --> 00:34:12,925 Over there. 498 00:34:14,344 --> 00:34:16,835 - Did you find anything else interesting? - Yes, this. 499 00:34:18,098 --> 00:34:19,258 What do you think? 500 00:34:19,349 --> 00:34:21,260 I've already read it. 501 00:34:40,453 --> 00:34:43,160 You sure there's only one victim? 502 00:34:43,248 --> 00:34:45,489 There's enough stuff here for twins. 503 00:35:28,376 --> 00:35:29,866 Pavarotti. 504 00:35:32,088 --> 00:35:37,924 Yes, it was Pavarotti who had eaten a cow and farted himself to pieces. 505 00:35:57,947 --> 00:36:00,188 This is an "indecent proposal.” 506 00:37:02,345 --> 00:37:03,926 Yeah, let's go, you guys. 507 00:37:04,013 --> 00:37:05,733 I thought you said this was a bridal shower? 508 00:37:05,807 --> 00:37:07,763 I told you we should've done this in pose. 509 00:37:07,851 --> 00:37:10,092 Have a nice breast. 510 00:37:22,407 --> 00:37:25,991 Peek-a-boo! 511 00:37:45,764 --> 00:37:48,847 I didn't even get a chance to... 512 00:38:04,199 --> 00:38:06,030 She's dead. 513 00:38:06,117 --> 00:38:08,153 She's not dead. 514 00:38:31,851 --> 00:38:33,967 Hasta la baby vista. 515 00:38:34,062 --> 00:38:36,974 Hasta la, hasta la... 516 00:38:38,233 --> 00:38:40,975 The next morning, the FBI had a hot suspect. 517 00:38:41,069 --> 00:38:42,775 Ma'am, we've heard quite enough. 518 00:38:42,862 --> 00:38:44,978 This is a free country. You can't arrest me. 519 00:38:45,073 --> 00:38:46,813 I know my rights. 520 00:38:46,908 --> 00:38:50,446 Ma'am, smoking a cigar in a non-smoking restaurant is a federal offense. 521 00:38:50,537 --> 00:38:52,118 My husband will hear about this. 522 00:38:52,205 --> 00:38:54,412 You'll pay for this! 523 00:38:54,499 --> 00:38:58,913 Can't pay much more than we're paying already lady. 524 00:39:00,547 --> 00:39:01,662 This is an injustice! 525 00:39:01,756 --> 00:39:02,916 It's not fair! 526 00:39:04,384 --> 00:39:06,841 In conclusion, I'd like to say we're going to nail this... 527 00:39:06,928 --> 00:39:09,044 Psycho killer it's going to have to take teamwork. 528 00:39:09,138 --> 00:39:10,253 Your teamwork. 529 00:39:11,140 --> 00:39:12,721 'Cause you're the best. 530 00:39:12,809 --> 00:39:14,265 You're the best of the best. 531 00:39:14,352 --> 00:39:16,843 You're the best of the best of the bunch. 532 00:39:16,938 --> 00:39:19,179 Jo, mayor's on the phone! 533 00:39:22,986 --> 00:39:24,271 Sorry, Mr. mayor. 534 00:39:24,362 --> 00:39:27,479 He wants to know what's happening with the psycho killer case! 535 00:39:27,574 --> 00:39:30,657 I told him not to worry, Jo's handling it! 536 00:39:30,743 --> 00:39:33,325 So in case there's any fuck up, it's your ass. 537 00:39:33,413 --> 00:39:35,904 Yes sir, my kickback check's in the mail. Oh, Jo, here. 538 00:39:35,999 --> 00:39:38,991 There's actually no problem, the mayor's a sweetheart. 539 00:39:41,588 --> 00:39:42,588 Good evening, Mr. mayor. 540 00:39:42,630 --> 00:39:43,790 Jo, listen to me. 541 00:39:43,882 --> 00:39:47,090 Oh that's very interesting sir, really, but I no longer... 542 00:39:47,176 --> 00:39:48,882 The governor's on my ass. 543 00:39:48,970 --> 00:39:50,255 I'd be demoted. 544 00:39:50,346 --> 00:39:52,086 I can't handle it, Jo. 545 00:39:53,141 --> 00:39:55,427 First I was president, then mayor. 546 00:39:55,518 --> 00:39:59,727 If you fail, I could end up being a proctologist! 547 00:39:59,814 --> 00:40:02,351 Jo, I'm no crook, I'm no crook. 548 00:40:02,442 --> 00:40:05,309 I'm no crook... I'm no crook, Jo! 549 00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:06,463 - Listen to me! - Thank you. 550 00:40:06,487 --> 00:40:09,900 Thank you very much, mayor, you've been a real big help. 551 00:40:09,991 --> 00:40:12,528 Okay, where'd I put my weapon? 552 00:40:15,288 --> 00:40:17,199 There it is, of course. 553 00:40:23,338 --> 00:40:25,494 Stop it! 554 00:40:28,176 --> 00:40:29,461 Jo had no time to lose. 555 00:40:29,552 --> 00:40:33,261 With every passing day the money was slipping through his hands. 556 00:40:33,348 --> 00:40:34,348 $400. 557 00:40:35,433 --> 00:40:36,764 400 grand. 558 00:40:36,851 --> 00:40:39,058 Sorry. 559 00:40:41,105 --> 00:40:43,312 Somebody stop her! 560 00:40:49,697 --> 00:40:50,732 Dr. animal? 561 00:40:54,911 --> 00:40:58,824 I have crossed oceans of time to find you. 562 00:40:58,915 --> 00:41:02,407 I know, I know my part is crooked. 563 00:41:02,502 --> 00:41:04,743 I can't use a mirror. 564 00:41:04,837 --> 00:41:05,872 Don't move, miss. 565 00:41:05,964 --> 00:41:07,795 You are a young woman... 566 00:41:07,882 --> 00:41:12,216 You're black, a newspaper reporter from des moines. 567 00:41:12,303 --> 00:41:13,509 No, no, no, flint. 568 00:41:13,596 --> 00:41:14,631 Flint, Michigan. 569 00:41:24,190 --> 00:41:25,680 Sorry, no cigar. 570 00:41:29,988 --> 00:41:32,946 I've been cooped up in this place for eight years. 571 00:41:33,032 --> 00:41:36,695 Of all the things I've lost, I think I miss my mind the most. 572 00:41:36,786 --> 00:41:40,199 I was hoping for something with a view. 573 00:41:40,289 --> 00:41:42,029 I miss a brain. 574 00:41:42,125 --> 00:41:44,036 Brains were my specialty you know. 575 00:41:44,127 --> 00:41:45,412 Brains with... 576 00:41:45,503 --> 00:41:47,494 How about with fava beans? 577 00:41:47,588 --> 00:41:51,251 If I had fava beans, I'd be free. 578 00:41:51,342 --> 00:41:53,173 I'd blow that back wall right out! 579 00:41:53,261 --> 00:41:54,301 A woman has disappeared... 580 00:41:54,345 --> 00:41:57,025 And I fear that she's fallen into the hands of the psycho killer. 581 00:41:57,098 --> 00:41:58,098 So. 582 00:41:58,141 --> 00:41:59,426 So, do you know where he is? 583 00:41:59,517 --> 00:42:01,382 Make it interesting for me. 584 00:42:01,477 --> 00:42:03,559 I get to ask you three questions. 585 00:42:03,646 --> 00:42:06,558 And don't lie, 'cause I'll know. 586 00:42:06,649 --> 00:42:07,649 Do you? 587 00:42:07,734 --> 00:42:09,099 Never touch it, never will. 588 00:42:09,193 --> 00:42:10,399 First question. 589 00:42:11,237 --> 00:42:14,274 What are you most frightened of, claresse? 590 00:42:14,365 --> 00:42:15,605 Anchovies. 591 00:42:15,700 --> 00:42:16,860 Good answer. 592 00:42:17,744 --> 00:42:23,956 Now, describe your most dirty, decadent, disgusting, dangerous, 593 00:42:24,042 --> 00:42:30,584 defective, decorative, defoliated, decotaged, deformed, dry dream. 594 00:42:31,674 --> 00:42:32,674 Ham. 595 00:42:32,717 --> 00:42:33,797 Was the ham... 596 00:42:35,970 --> 00:42:37,050 Silent? 597 00:42:37,138 --> 00:42:39,595 Ham can be very quiet, very quiet. 598 00:42:39,682 --> 00:42:45,177 Unless the ham is falling down stairs, then it goes boom Dee boom da bum bum boom boom. 599 00:42:45,271 --> 00:42:47,353 Celery is very loud. 600 00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:48,600 Apples louder. 601 00:42:49,942 --> 00:42:54,527 Unless you have applesauce, which goes very well with ham. 602 00:42:54,614 --> 00:42:56,195 Doesn't it, claresse? 603 00:42:56,282 --> 00:42:58,147 Please no more questions. 604 00:42:58,242 --> 00:43:01,609 - Now they've got to help me. - Enough about me. 605 00:43:01,704 --> 00:43:05,697 Jane has disappeared with 400 grand and that dickhead detective is chasing her. 606 00:43:05,792 --> 00:43:07,657 I've got to get to her first. 607 00:43:07,752 --> 00:43:09,458 With only half that money... 608 00:43:09,545 --> 00:43:11,857 We could be partners and start Dr. animal's pizza place. 609 00:43:11,881 --> 00:43:13,542 Just think of it. 610 00:43:13,633 --> 00:43:15,749 Iggy-boo. 611 00:43:15,843 --> 00:43:17,299 Iggy-boo? What is that? 612 00:43:17,386 --> 00:43:19,593 - My happy noise. - Oh. 613 00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:20,680 All right, you win. 614 00:43:20,723 --> 00:43:24,386 Psycho killer was a portion... Patron... patient of mine. 615 00:43:25,061 --> 00:43:27,552 He suffered from schizophrenia. Don't you understand? 616 00:43:27,647 --> 00:43:33,108 The killer's real name is Antonio and he hates his mother. 617 00:43:33,194 --> 00:43:34,229 Why? 618 00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:35,981 Maybe because she's a pain in the ass. 619 00:43:36,072 --> 00:43:37,187 Did you ever think of that? 620 00:43:37,281 --> 00:43:38,441 So where is Antonio? 621 00:43:38,533 --> 00:43:44,153 Very near, and he'll be even nearer when I get to see Dr. animal's pizza place. 622 00:43:51,462 --> 00:43:53,202 All right, it's been nice talking to you. 623 00:43:53,297 --> 00:43:54,457 Time to rest. 624 00:43:54,549 --> 00:43:56,005 My brain is hurting. 625 00:43:56,092 --> 00:43:57,252 Nighty, night! 626 00:43:57,301 --> 00:43:58,301 Allez hop! 627 00:43:59,846 --> 00:44:01,552 Iggy-boo! 628 00:44:02,723 --> 00:44:05,385 Ooh, I wish I had a marshmallow. 629 00:44:06,644 --> 00:44:09,977 His hang time is longer than Jordan's. 630 00:44:13,317 --> 00:44:18,311 In his search for Jane, detective balsam checked out every classy motel in town. 631 00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:24,533 Including the Jack the ripper motor inn. 632 00:44:33,588 --> 00:44:35,704 - Here you go. - Thank you, sir. 633 00:44:35,798 --> 00:44:38,380 Okay, have a party with that. 634 00:44:51,397 --> 00:44:54,230 Take me to a nice hospital please. 635 00:44:58,988 --> 00:45:01,354 That motel can really stick it to you. 636 00:45:01,449 --> 00:45:02,529 That's a pun. 637 00:45:04,535 --> 00:45:09,620 The next morning I was handling my business when detective balsam came into my life. 638 00:45:09,707 --> 00:45:13,495 After checking 642 different motels... 639 00:45:13,586 --> 00:45:17,545 Clever balsam went down the wrong street and found the right one. 640 00:45:20,635 --> 00:45:24,093 He pulled up in a rented car that had every new option. 641 00:45:28,142 --> 00:45:30,884 Including frequent flyer mileage. 642 00:45:44,784 --> 00:45:47,446 Have you seen her? Her name is Jane wine. 643 00:45:47,536 --> 00:45:49,242 I have never seen her. 644 00:45:49,330 --> 00:45:51,696 You're absolutely sure? 645 00:45:51,791 --> 00:45:54,328 100% scout's honor. 646 00:45:54,418 --> 00:45:55,749 You don't believe me? 647 00:45:55,836 --> 00:45:57,747 Do you want to check the register? 648 00:45:57,838 --> 00:46:00,375 No, I wouldn't dream of it. 649 00:46:00,466 --> 00:46:03,378 He doesn't find her, he doesn't find her. 650 00:46:03,469 --> 00:46:04,549 He found her. 651 00:46:05,972 --> 00:46:08,258 I think you better come clean. 652 00:46:08,349 --> 00:46:11,466 I recognize the anagram of her signature. 653 00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:13,642 Now, when did she arrive? 654 00:46:14,814 --> 00:46:19,604 She was here Sunday, but she checked out the next morning. 655 00:46:19,694 --> 00:46:20,809 Ah, Tuesday. 656 00:46:22,029 --> 00:46:23,189 Then you were here? 657 00:46:23,281 --> 00:46:24,862 Yes, I were here. 658 00:46:24,949 --> 00:46:26,064 I was here. 659 00:46:26,158 --> 00:46:29,400 You too? If so, why are you asking me? 660 00:46:30,663 --> 00:46:32,619 Move on. What happened? 661 00:46:32,707 --> 00:46:37,872 It was raining and she was starving, so I whipped up some sharper knife. 662 00:46:37,962 --> 00:46:39,077 Some sandwich. 663 00:46:39,171 --> 00:46:42,083 After she ate she wasn't hungry anymore... 664 00:46:42,174 --> 00:46:44,881 Then she went right off to the bed in the swamp. 665 00:46:44,969 --> 00:46:46,505 In the suite. 666 00:46:47,096 --> 00:46:50,964 And she told me she had a long drive the next morning. 667 00:46:51,058 --> 00:46:53,390 That is the trout. 668 00:46:53,477 --> 00:46:54,477 The trout? 669 00:46:54,562 --> 00:46:56,393 Yes, I'm not a liar. 670 00:46:57,273 --> 00:46:58,979 I tell you the trout. 671 00:46:59,066 --> 00:47:01,773 The truth, I want the truth. 672 00:47:01,861 --> 00:47:04,398 It's not a problem, okay. 673 00:47:04,488 --> 00:47:05,944 Here it is. 674 00:47:06,032 --> 00:47:07,488 The truth. 675 00:47:07,575 --> 00:47:10,112 And so now I have to make the beds. 676 00:47:10,202 --> 00:47:12,033 I told you all I know. 677 00:47:37,521 --> 00:47:40,354 What are you doing, Mr. motel? 678 00:47:40,441 --> 00:47:42,898 I told you, making the bed. 679 00:47:42,985 --> 00:47:44,771 I make them every morning. 680 00:47:44,862 --> 00:47:47,604 Running a motel is a killing job. 681 00:47:49,909 --> 00:47:54,278 I saw somebody at the window in that house. 682 00:47:54,372 --> 00:47:56,829 Is anybody living there? 683 00:47:56,916 --> 00:47:59,874 No. I mean yes, my mother. 684 00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:01,575 She's retired. 685 00:48:01,670 --> 00:48:03,410 I'll be seeing you. 686 00:48:06,384 --> 00:48:08,841 I won't be seeing you! 687 00:48:08,928 --> 00:48:10,589 - Goodbye. - Goodbye. 688 00:48:10,679 --> 00:48:15,756 Goodbye. 689 00:48:17,436 --> 00:48:18,436 Goodbye. 690 00:48:18,479 --> 00:48:19,479 Goodbye! 691 00:48:20,439 --> 00:48:25,058 - Goodbye! - Goodbye! 692 00:48:25,152 --> 00:48:27,143 Goodbye! 693 00:48:27,238 --> 00:48:30,651 What a jerk. He left without saying goodbye. 694 00:48:37,206 --> 00:48:38,206 Hello. 695 00:48:38,249 --> 00:48:41,241 Jane slept at the cemetery motel. 696 00:48:41,335 --> 00:48:42,791 Oh my god. 697 00:48:42,878 --> 00:48:46,587 Your sister had a cabin, number 13. 698 00:48:46,674 --> 00:48:48,414 Talking about jinxes! 699 00:48:48,509 --> 00:48:52,843 Oh come on, Lily, don't be so superstitious. 700 00:48:52,930 --> 00:48:55,171 13, that's a lot of hogwash. 701 00:48:55,266 --> 00:48:58,633 But anyway, I'm not satisfied yet. 702 00:48:58,727 --> 00:49:06,350 This guy has an ambulant mother whom I believe saw Jane and whether Antonio... 703 00:49:06,444 --> 00:49:13,816 Motel likes it or not, I'm going back to motel's motel and question her. 704 00:49:15,119 --> 00:49:18,862 It's your ass, that's what you're paid for. 705 00:49:31,302 --> 00:49:34,135 Alone in a private plane, agent Jo finally decides... 706 00:49:34,221 --> 00:49:35,461 Oh no, wait, wait. 707 00:49:35,556 --> 00:49:37,012 No, forget it, I'm sorry. 708 00:49:37,099 --> 00:49:38,680 This scene was cut. 709 00:49:47,693 --> 00:49:49,854 I feel I've done this before. 710 00:50:36,909 --> 00:50:37,989 Surprise! 711 00:50:40,162 --> 00:50:42,244 - Again? - Yes. 712 00:50:44,416 --> 00:50:45,906 And now the stairs! 713 00:50:46,001 --> 00:50:48,162 The stairs, no! 714 00:51:24,164 --> 00:51:28,157 Jo had to promise Dr. animal a pizza place and now he delivered. 715 00:51:33,507 --> 00:51:35,748 Is miss fostar here yet? 716 00:51:35,843 --> 00:51:36,878 Mister. 717 00:51:36,969 --> 00:51:38,209 Call me doctor, please. 718 00:51:38,304 --> 00:51:40,386 Not yet, Dr. please. 719 00:51:40,472 --> 00:51:41,882 He should be here soon. 720 00:51:41,974 --> 00:51:46,559 Because he was late Jo tried to beat out an oil truck for a parking space. 721 00:51:53,485 --> 00:51:54,816 Hey, where you going? 722 00:51:54,903 --> 00:51:57,110 You dented my freaking Fender! 723 00:51:57,197 --> 00:52:00,405 I'll be back. 724 00:52:00,492 --> 00:52:02,949 - Fellas. - Howdy do. 725 00:52:03,037 --> 00:52:06,154 - Dr. enema. - Long time no see. 726 00:52:06,248 --> 00:52:09,240 As you can see, I've kept up my end of the bargain... 727 00:52:09,335 --> 00:52:12,418 May this be the beginning of Dr. animals pizza place. 728 00:52:12,504 --> 00:52:13,504 Iggy-boo! 729 00:52:14,340 --> 00:52:16,080 My brain is tingling! 730 00:52:16,175 --> 00:52:18,086 - I'm glad. - Moi ici. 731 00:52:18,177 --> 00:52:21,044 - What? - French, me too. 732 00:52:21,138 --> 00:52:22,719 - The contract. - Right here. 733 00:52:22,806 --> 00:52:24,387 - The license. - Right here. 734 00:52:24,475 --> 00:52:28,218 All right, miss fostar, I have to ask you, do you have the photos of the waitresses? 735 00:52:28,312 --> 00:52:31,099 Yes, and the phone numbers. 736 00:52:31,190 --> 00:52:33,055 Very foodie, this is great! 737 00:52:33,150 --> 00:52:35,141 The cooks dental x-rays? 738 00:52:37,071 --> 00:52:38,652 Bathroom faucets? 739 00:52:39,698 --> 00:52:42,405 A spare tire from the cleaning woman's car. 740 00:52:45,037 --> 00:52:48,950 The shoe sizes of everyone in the entire staff. 741 00:52:49,875 --> 00:52:52,537 The maitre d's ball bearings. 742 00:52:52,628 --> 00:52:54,368 They're smaller than I thought. 743 00:52:54,463 --> 00:52:55,327 They're all set. 744 00:52:55,422 --> 00:52:57,208 - I'm satisfied. - Good. 745 00:52:57,299 --> 00:52:59,459 Now will you please tell me where the psycho killer is? 746 00:52:59,510 --> 00:53:01,375 All right, all right. 747 00:53:01,470 --> 00:53:03,802 After all, a view is a view. 748 00:53:05,265 --> 00:53:08,928 Come to think of it, maybe I will have a piece of veal. 749 00:53:09,019 --> 00:53:10,759 Where is the psycho killer! 750 00:53:10,854 --> 00:53:12,560 The killer is near. 751 00:53:12,648 --> 00:53:15,890 Just outside of town, right under your nose. 752 00:53:15,984 --> 00:53:17,770 The cemetery motel. 753 00:53:17,861 --> 00:53:19,522 Thank you, thank you, doctor. 754 00:53:19,613 --> 00:53:22,293 In all honesty, really, thank you. I couldn't have done without you. 755 00:53:22,324 --> 00:53:24,610 No, I mean it. This man is amazing. 756 00:53:24,702 --> 00:53:25,862 From the bottom of my heart. 757 00:53:25,953 --> 00:53:28,865 And please, don't forget, I own 10% of this place. 758 00:53:28,956 --> 00:53:29,956 Bye. 759 00:53:30,624 --> 00:53:32,080 10%. 760 00:53:32,167 --> 00:53:36,080 Less than my manager. I'm going to miss him. 761 00:53:45,556 --> 00:53:47,717 Nosy snoop of a private eye. 762 00:53:47,808 --> 00:53:51,721 Nobody will ever suspect you in your car under here. 763 00:53:56,525 --> 00:53:58,641 Detective balsam? 764 00:53:58,736 --> 00:54:02,735 Detective balsam! 765 00:54:02,823 --> 00:54:05,860 Mama Mia, the work never ends here. 766 00:54:05,951 --> 00:54:07,532 Detective balsam! 767 00:54:08,620 --> 00:54:11,532 Detective balsam! 768 00:54:13,834 --> 00:54:16,667 Only way to stop a hog when it's rutting. 769 00:54:18,213 --> 00:54:21,205 Jo went back to his place to clean up. 770 00:54:23,510 --> 00:54:24,875 You sweat like a hog in heat. 771 00:54:24,970 --> 00:54:27,427 - Fuck you. He didn't come here? - He who? 772 00:54:27,514 --> 00:54:29,220 Detective balsam! 773 00:54:32,186 --> 00:54:33,392 He wasn't at the motel? 774 00:54:33,479 --> 00:54:35,390 No, nor was Jane. 775 00:54:35,481 --> 00:54:37,441 And I couldn't find that manager, what's his name? 776 00:54:37,483 --> 00:54:39,644 - Frank. - Yeah, Antonio. 777 00:54:40,652 --> 00:54:43,735 And I couldn't enter the house because I didn't have a warrant. 778 00:54:43,822 --> 00:54:47,189 She didn't answer the door, she just dumped a pail of water on my head. 779 00:54:47,284 --> 00:54:48,364 Good thing she missed. 780 00:54:48,452 --> 00:54:50,693 Yeah. I tell you it's weird, it's too weird. 781 00:54:50,788 --> 00:54:54,155 Balsam calls, says he's got a hunch, right, then he disappears. 782 00:54:57,252 --> 00:54:58,252 Poor Jane. 783 00:54:59,713 --> 00:55:02,125 Who knows where she could be? 784 00:55:03,133 --> 00:55:05,044 I bet she's in trouble. 785 00:55:06,220 --> 00:55:08,927 I bet they've done things to her. 786 00:55:10,098 --> 00:55:12,339 I bet they've tortured her. 787 00:55:13,644 --> 00:55:15,225 I bet they swiped the money... 788 00:55:15,312 --> 00:55:16,848 No! Not that! 789 00:55:16,939 --> 00:55:18,099 Anything but that! 790 00:55:18,190 --> 00:55:20,476 I tell you we'll find her all right, alive and in cash. 791 00:55:32,246 --> 00:55:34,157 Who the fuck is calling me at this hour? 792 00:55:34,248 --> 00:55:35,829 Boss, it's me. I need to get a... 793 00:55:35,916 --> 00:55:37,497 Christ. Look, Jo... 794 00:55:37,584 --> 00:55:39,729 Listen, Jane has really stuck her foot in it this time. 795 00:55:39,753 --> 00:55:41,473 - She's at the motel outside of town. - Hey! 796 00:55:41,505 --> 00:55:44,247 I'm about to stick my babascas into something a hell of a lot damper. 797 00:55:44,341 --> 00:55:46,301 Hell of a lot warmer too. So I'll make this quick. 798 00:55:46,385 --> 00:55:48,105 All right, I need a search warrant and fast. 799 00:55:48,136 --> 00:55:49,967 Getting a search warrant will take too long. 800 00:55:50,055 --> 00:55:52,262 And besides, this case is top secret! 801 00:55:52,349 --> 00:55:54,260 Try the ranger. 802 00:55:54,351 --> 00:55:58,469 He's in charge of issuing motel licenses. 803 00:55:58,564 --> 00:56:04,855 So he's got a good excuse for getting you in without arousing, arousing suspicion. 804 00:56:10,909 --> 00:56:11,944 Jo, got to go. 805 00:56:21,712 --> 00:56:23,828 Jo, don't you think it's a little late? 806 00:56:23,922 --> 00:56:26,288 Absolutely not. The ranger lives his job. 807 00:56:26,383 --> 00:56:29,841 It's the one official you can call out at any hour. 808 00:56:33,181 --> 00:56:36,344 Who the hell is that breaking my chops at this hour of the night! 809 00:56:36,435 --> 00:56:40,724 I hope his tires blow out at 200 miles an hour on a curve! 810 00:56:40,814 --> 00:56:42,805 I hope he turns coo-coo! 811 00:56:45,903 --> 00:56:47,985 Honey, you're not going to believe this! 812 00:56:48,071 --> 00:56:50,153 It's a mailman and a nun! 813 00:56:51,199 --> 00:56:52,780 Ma'am, I've got to talk to the ranger. 814 00:56:53,952 --> 00:56:56,864 Oh, Jo, I recognized you right away. 815 00:56:57,289 --> 00:56:58,995 Come on in. Come on. 816 00:56:59,082 --> 00:57:02,245 You know, you get handsomer every day. 817 00:57:04,421 --> 00:57:05,877 You can come in, too, sister. 818 00:57:05,964 --> 00:57:10,207 You mustn't stay out here all night in the cold. Okay? 819 00:57:10,302 --> 00:57:15,092 The ranger lived in a modest house with his wife, an ex-super model. 820 00:57:16,767 --> 00:57:17,767 Very ex. 821 00:57:22,481 --> 00:57:24,346 Greetings, everyone. 822 00:57:24,441 --> 00:57:26,727 Welcome to my humble abode. 823 00:57:29,112 --> 00:57:32,320 I must apologize for being a trifle underdressed... 824 00:57:32,407 --> 00:57:34,739 But I was sleeping when you drove up. 825 00:57:34,826 --> 00:57:36,987 What's going down? 826 00:57:37,079 --> 00:57:39,320 Ranger, I don't know where to start. 827 00:57:39,414 --> 00:57:42,998 It all began with... 828 00:57:47,089 --> 00:57:49,045 Thank you, smelly thing. 829 00:57:49,132 --> 00:57:51,839 Anyway, I'm engaged to miss Lily's sister. 830 00:57:51,927 --> 00:57:53,667 It happens that... 831 00:58:00,769 --> 00:58:04,432 Jo decides to explain everything to the ranger... 832 00:58:04,523 --> 00:58:08,186 Using the FBI's new secret technique, interpretive dance. 833 00:58:14,074 --> 00:58:15,074 Get the picture? 834 00:58:15,117 --> 00:58:20,077 Jo, if I understand you correctly, you're saying that... 835 00:58:31,299 --> 00:58:32,209 Was that about it? 836 00:58:32,300 --> 00:58:34,131 Yeah, except for one or two steps. 837 00:58:34,219 --> 00:58:36,380 Jo, something here doesn't quite jive. 838 00:58:36,471 --> 00:58:39,963 You said you saw a lady at that house who was supposed to be Antonio's mother. 839 00:58:40,058 --> 00:58:42,800 Jo, Antonio's mother's been dead for 10 years. 840 00:58:42,894 --> 00:58:44,259 But it doesn't make any sense. 841 00:58:44,354 --> 00:58:46,310 Detective balsam saw her. 842 00:58:46,398 --> 00:58:49,140 He even went back to the hotel to question her. 843 00:58:49,234 --> 00:58:50,519 Antonio's mother's dead! 844 00:58:50,610 --> 00:58:52,942 Question is, who is that other woman! 845 00:59:00,495 --> 00:59:01,655 Tell me what happened quick. 846 00:59:01,747 --> 00:59:03,587 Well, you know how the boss is, he picked up... 847 00:59:03,623 --> 00:59:04,623 Not that quick. 848 00:59:04,708 --> 00:59:06,699 Well he picked up this little virgin on a ranch... 849 00:59:06,793 --> 00:59:08,433 And things must've gotten carried away. 850 00:59:08,503 --> 00:59:10,063 You don't do certain things at his age. 851 00:59:10,088 --> 00:59:13,334 Dr. butcher to surgery. 852 00:59:13,425 --> 00:59:14,835 Dr. leaky to urology. 853 00:59:14,926 --> 00:59:16,257 What the hell happened? 854 00:59:16,344 --> 00:59:18,756 How could a night out do this to you? 855 00:59:18,847 --> 00:59:22,089 Boy, you don't know what sex is. 856 00:59:22,184 --> 00:59:24,425 She had my wheels spinning. 857 00:59:24,519 --> 00:59:26,805 Spinning, I heard symphonies. 858 00:59:28,690 --> 00:59:33,684 My only trouble and my only mistake, I asked her to get on top. 859 00:59:33,779 --> 00:59:36,236 Listen, I was out at the rangers and he said that there was... 860 00:59:36,364 --> 00:59:38,821 I know! He called me, asked me something really weird. 861 00:59:38,909 --> 00:59:41,776 If I knew your friend Lily's blood type. 862 00:59:41,870 --> 00:59:45,283 He promised you'd go over the motel, take a look today. 863 00:59:45,373 --> 00:59:47,705 All right, I'll go meet him. 864 00:59:47,793 --> 00:59:49,624 Visiting hours are over. 865 00:59:49,711 --> 00:59:51,451 Mr. putrid must rest. 866 00:59:53,882 --> 00:59:55,338 Stay out of trouble, boss. 867 00:59:55,425 --> 00:59:57,632 Jo, the ranger's at the bowling alley, just remembered. 868 00:59:57,719 --> 01:00:00,882 And remember, lay off the women, huh. 869 01:00:09,689 --> 01:00:10,689 Not bad. 870 01:00:12,526 --> 01:00:13,766 Howdy, ranger. 871 01:00:15,862 --> 01:00:19,320 Howdy, Jo, what brings you down to these here parts? 872 01:00:19,407 --> 01:00:22,194 Well, we want to know how the visit to the cemetery motel went. 873 01:00:22,285 --> 01:00:26,278 Now, Jo, I know you're not the type of guy to hallucinate. 874 01:00:26,373 --> 01:00:32,710 There was no lady at the cemetery motel, much less Antonio's mother. 875 01:00:34,172 --> 01:00:36,254 Just Antonio himself! 876 01:00:36,341 --> 01:00:39,424 He also confirmed, miss Lily, that your sister... 877 01:00:39,511 --> 01:00:42,423 Registered at the motel under a fake name. 878 01:00:44,015 --> 01:00:50,306 When detective balsam found out where she was headed, he took off after her. 879 01:00:50,397 --> 01:00:52,888 If the bitch tries to screw me out of my cash... 880 01:00:59,614 --> 01:01:02,230 But ranger, there's still something out of whack out here. 881 01:01:02,325 --> 01:01:03,815 Yeah, I noticed that. 882 01:01:03,910 --> 01:01:05,650 - What? - The heating. 883 01:01:05,745 --> 01:01:07,952 The motel is as cold as a witch's tit. 884 01:01:08,039 --> 01:01:09,199 Felt like a morgue. 885 01:01:09,291 --> 01:01:12,499 Talking about morgues, why don't you have lunch with us. 886 01:01:12,586 --> 01:01:16,454 I've fixed some nice cold frozen chicken. 887 01:01:16,548 --> 01:01:18,664 Now that's a great idea. 888 01:01:20,468 --> 01:01:22,675 Why don't you come on home with us? 889 01:01:22,762 --> 01:01:26,425 Spend a nice evening with the family. 890 01:01:26,516 --> 01:01:29,804 That way you can sign a formal complaint and... 891 01:01:29,895 --> 01:01:32,807 I can make out a search warrant for you. 892 01:01:32,898 --> 01:01:37,517 And you can officially search the motel and erase all your doubts. 893 01:01:38,862 --> 01:01:40,853 We'll be waiting for ya. 894 01:01:48,205 --> 01:01:49,866 I forgot to tell ya. 895 01:01:51,333 --> 01:01:57,579 Antonio's mother asked me to tell you to stop howling under her window at night. 896 01:01:59,633 --> 01:02:00,633 Goodbye. 897 01:02:08,558 --> 01:02:10,494 We can't afford to make any mistakes at the motel. 898 01:02:10,518 --> 01:02:14,978 The least suspicious way I think is to be a man and wife asking for a room. 899 01:02:15,065 --> 01:02:15,975 I don't know. 900 01:02:16,066 --> 01:02:19,650 We ask for a room to be together, like we just wanted to stop off in this motel... 901 01:02:19,736 --> 01:02:23,228 10 spend some time with each other, in a room, alone, to make love. 902 01:02:23,323 --> 01:02:24,813 That's terrific. 903 01:02:33,541 --> 01:02:36,908 I'd rather make it with anybody than you! 904 01:02:38,380 --> 01:02:40,712 Hello, could you direct me to your ice machine please? 905 01:02:40,799 --> 01:02:42,084 In the back, pal. 906 01:02:42,175 --> 01:02:43,210 Thank you. 907 01:02:43,301 --> 01:02:44,461 Five dollars. 908 01:02:44,552 --> 01:02:45,552 Thanks. 909 01:02:46,596 --> 01:02:50,134 Yeah, the ice machine is in my butt where I usually keep it. 910 01:02:54,145 --> 01:02:58,388 Lily knew that $5 worth of gas would not get them very far. 911 01:03:03,029 --> 01:03:06,066 So she tried arousing his generosity. 912 01:03:53,371 --> 01:03:57,159 - What is this? - I'm sorry, I had to fill her up. 913 01:04:03,006 --> 01:04:05,668 The tension was so thick and the music so pretentious... 914 01:04:05,759 --> 01:04:09,092 They knew they must be getting close. 915 01:04:20,523 --> 01:04:22,354 There's nobody here. 916 01:04:22,442 --> 01:04:24,228 Where the hell is this Antonio? 917 01:04:24,319 --> 01:04:27,732 Jo, I just saw somebody peeking out the window up there. 918 01:04:28,907 --> 01:04:29,907 Hi. 919 01:04:30,867 --> 01:04:33,700 Welcome to the cemetery motel. 920 01:04:33,787 --> 01:04:36,244 I suppose you want a cabin? 921 01:04:36,331 --> 01:04:37,331 Yes. 922 01:04:38,875 --> 01:04:40,615 I don't like it. I don't like it. 923 01:04:40,710 --> 01:04:41,710 I know he looks evil. 924 01:04:41,795 --> 01:04:42,910 No, not him, the motel. 925 01:04:43,004 --> 01:04:44,790 I much prefer the Hilton! 926 01:04:44,881 --> 01:04:47,463 Please, step into the office. 927 01:04:48,718 --> 01:04:49,718 Sorry. 928 01:04:51,471 --> 01:04:53,302 Where do I bury these two? 929 01:04:53,390 --> 01:04:55,221 There is no more room. 930 01:04:57,352 --> 01:04:59,263 There you go, cabin 13. 931 01:05:05,193 --> 01:05:06,558 Here we are. 932 01:05:06,653 --> 01:05:09,235 Make yourself at tomb, at home. 933 01:05:11,574 --> 01:05:13,110 I feel Jane was here. 934 01:05:13,201 --> 01:05:16,034 I have a very strange premonition. 935 01:05:22,335 --> 01:05:24,200 - I found the letter. - Where was it? 936 01:05:24,295 --> 01:05:26,627 Right here, under the bed. 937 01:05:33,346 --> 01:05:35,712 "Dear Lily, I was here. 938 01:05:35,807 --> 01:05:37,297 Antonio's mother killed me. 939 01:05:37,392 --> 01:05:39,428 Don't forget to pay the gas bill. 940 01:05:39,519 --> 01:05:41,475 And kisses, Jane." 941 01:05:41,563 --> 01:05:42,973 No! 942 01:05:43,064 --> 01:05:44,064 Why? 943 01:05:45,442 --> 01:05:47,522 Come on, Lily. Lily, come on, pull yourself together. 944 01:05:47,569 --> 01:05:50,561 Come on, everyone forgets to pay the gas bill. 945 01:05:50,655 --> 01:05:53,271 Maybe that lady didn't kill her all right. Maybe it was a mistake. 946 01:05:53,366 --> 01:05:54,276 If only it were. 947 01:05:54,367 --> 01:05:56,198 That's right, maybe Antonio killed her. 948 01:05:56,286 --> 01:05:57,321 No. 949 01:05:57,412 --> 01:05:59,092 Or she could have got run over by a truck. 950 01:05:59,164 --> 01:06:00,074 No! 951 01:06:00,165 --> 01:06:02,765 And she could've got eaten by a cannibal on a California vacation. 952 01:06:02,792 --> 01:06:04,328 I don't know, any one of these really. 953 01:06:04,419 --> 01:06:07,286 Or there's always that possibility being torn to shreds by a harvester. 954 01:06:07,380 --> 01:06:09,733 Then again, she could've fallen into a vat of sulfuric acid. 955 01:06:09,757 --> 01:06:11,677 Really, it could've been any one of these things. 956 01:06:11,759 --> 01:06:13,559 She could've been ravaged by a pack of wolves. 957 01:06:13,636 --> 01:06:15,592 She could've been struck by lightning. Ow! 958 01:06:15,680 --> 01:06:17,720 Or she could've been snorkeling in shark infested... 959 01:06:17,765 --> 01:06:18,675 Ow! 960 01:06:18,766 --> 01:06:20,726 Personally, I don't think anyone's ever died here. 961 01:07:06,898 --> 01:07:08,888 My arm! 962 01:07:17,408 --> 01:07:20,525 I can't take this anymore! I've got to find out once and for all. 963 01:07:20,620 --> 01:07:22,906 I have to know the truth about my sister. 964 01:07:24,707 --> 01:07:28,450 Jo, you go and distract Antonio while I go see the lady and question her. 965 01:07:28,545 --> 01:07:29,745 Come on now, that's too risky. 966 01:07:29,796 --> 01:07:32,796 What that letter said was true, and you want to be alone with that old lady? 967 01:07:32,882 --> 01:07:35,794 Forget it. We FBI agents, we specialize in taking dangerous action. 968 01:07:35,885 --> 01:07:39,218 No, I think it's better if I go distract Antonio and you talk to the old lady. 969 01:08:07,375 --> 01:08:10,583 Sorry, I'm a little sick. 970 01:08:10,670 --> 01:08:13,036 You know, my grandfather died from a sneeze. 971 01:08:13,131 --> 01:08:14,792 What, he fell ill and died? 972 01:08:14,882 --> 01:08:17,294 No, he just fell from a skyscraper scaffold. 973 01:08:17,385 --> 01:08:18,500 Lost balance. 974 01:08:18,595 --> 01:08:19,880 Why have you come here? 975 01:08:19,971 --> 01:08:21,507 My wife wants to take a nap. 976 01:08:21,598 --> 01:08:24,886 I'm not sleepy and I felt like chatting. 977 01:08:26,311 --> 01:08:28,597 You know, just to kill time. 978 01:08:28,688 --> 01:08:30,224 Just to kill time. 979 01:08:30,315 --> 01:08:31,851 Please, come on in. 980 01:08:33,776 --> 01:08:36,859 If there is anything to kill, I'm always available. 981 01:08:36,946 --> 01:08:39,107 Know what, guess I'm doing all the talking. 982 01:08:39,198 --> 01:08:44,033 I suppose living like this could make a person jump at the chance to talk. 983 01:08:44,120 --> 01:08:46,076 You're right, you're right. 984 01:08:46,164 --> 01:08:48,530 I love to talk to everyone at the motel. 985 01:08:48,625 --> 01:08:51,992 Is it my fault that when I'm through I realize there is no one there? 986 01:08:52,086 --> 01:08:53,371 Shit. 987 01:08:53,463 --> 01:08:55,423 Antonio, living like this could drive a man crazy. 988 01:08:55,465 --> 01:08:57,421 What are you trying to say, eh? 989 01:08:57,508 --> 01:09:01,376 Are you insinuating that, that I might be crazy? 990 01:09:01,471 --> 01:09:03,712 Go on! Go on if you think I'm crazy! 991 01:09:03,806 --> 01:09:04,966 Say it, go ahead! 992 01:09:05,058 --> 01:09:08,846 I'm just saying that if someone like you had a chance to lay his hands on... 993 01:09:08,936 --> 01:09:12,849 400 grand from some defenseless girl, he most certainly would go off his nut! 994 01:09:13,232 --> 01:09:14,563 I mean he'd do anything! 995 01:09:14,651 --> 01:09:17,984 Antonio, for 400 grand, a man would kill! 996 01:09:18,071 --> 01:09:19,311 I'll murder ya! 997 01:09:20,198 --> 01:09:22,610 You ugly, evil, praying mantis! 998 01:09:24,494 --> 01:09:26,325 I'll never tell you! 999 01:09:27,330 --> 01:09:30,322 This morning now... Is mine, big Jim! 1000 01:09:33,294 --> 01:09:35,751 You're not going to talk, huh, my fine feathered friend! 1001 01:09:35,838 --> 01:09:37,920 Well I bet your old mom will! 1002 01:09:40,426 --> 01:09:42,007 Mommy? 1003 01:09:42,095 --> 01:09:43,926 Poor asshole! 1004 01:09:46,099 --> 01:09:48,181 Where did the girl go? Where did the... 1005 01:10:32,603 --> 01:10:34,093 Termites. 1006 01:10:54,375 --> 01:10:55,455 Mrs. motel? 1007 01:10:57,837 --> 01:10:58,837 Mrs. motel. 1008 01:11:06,262 --> 01:11:07,262 Oh, Antonio! 1009 01:11:15,605 --> 01:11:18,434 Let me go! 1010 01:11:18,524 --> 01:11:19,604 Okay, I stay. 1011 01:11:20,443 --> 01:11:23,606 If this poor man is Antonio, who is he? 1012 01:11:23,696 --> 01:11:27,359 It's a little trick used by Dr. animal's patients. 1013 01:11:29,952 --> 01:11:30,952 It's Antonio's mother! 1014 01:11:31,037 --> 01:11:33,369 All right, I'm Antonio's mother! 1015 01:11:33,456 --> 01:11:34,616 Mama Mia! 1016 01:11:34,707 --> 01:11:39,792 But I am better known for fiscal reasons as the psycho killer! 1017 01:11:41,130 --> 01:11:46,375 But my exotic achievements have far outshone my mentor Dr. animal. 1018 01:11:47,428 --> 01:11:49,043 He was a degenerated pervert. 1019 01:11:49,138 --> 01:11:51,880 And then Antonio, he really pissed me off! 1020 01:11:51,974 --> 01:11:53,734 Where's our money or it's off to the hay lot! 1021 01:11:53,768 --> 01:11:57,431 It's buried in the swamp with Jane's body. 1022 01:11:58,940 --> 01:12:00,521 It's not true! 1023 01:12:00,608 --> 01:12:02,519 Jane is still alive! 1024 01:12:13,663 --> 01:12:14,778 Jane! 1025 01:12:14,872 --> 01:12:17,158 Thought you'd killed me, didn't ya? 1026 01:12:17,250 --> 01:12:18,285 You old bag! 1027 01:12:18,376 --> 01:12:21,334 First stabbing me and then sinking me in my car! 1028 01:12:21,420 --> 01:12:23,957 Well, good thing it was a lemon. 1029 01:12:24,048 --> 01:12:26,209 Lemons float. 1030 01:12:27,718 --> 01:12:29,208 Lily, I'm alive! 1031 01:12:30,513 --> 01:12:32,174 Hold on, Jane! 1032 01:12:32,265 --> 01:12:33,345 I'm not Lily. 1033 01:12:34,392 --> 01:12:35,677 I am... 1034 01:12:45,444 --> 01:12:47,184 Detective balsam. 1035 01:12:47,280 --> 01:12:51,319 If you're alive, who did I stab, stab, stab to death? 1036 01:12:51,409 --> 01:12:52,524 Robocrap. 1037 01:12:52,618 --> 01:12:55,485 The Japanese version of robocop. 1038 01:12:55,580 --> 01:12:58,287 Darling, I've still got the 400 grand. 1039 01:12:58,374 --> 01:12:59,705 Come on, let's split. 1040 01:12:59,792 --> 01:13:01,578 Just one second, Jane. 1041 01:13:01,669 --> 01:13:03,159 I'm not Jo, I'm... 1042 01:13:21,105 --> 01:13:22,140 I'm Mr. Laurel! 1043 01:13:23,524 --> 01:13:24,889 Return what you stole. 1044 01:13:24,984 --> 01:13:26,815 Hold it! Let her go! 1045 01:13:28,362 --> 01:13:29,852 The ranger! 1046 01:13:31,949 --> 01:13:34,361 He's not really the ranger. 1047 01:13:54,931 --> 01:13:58,014 I'm olaf, and those mega-bucks are mine. 1048 01:13:58,100 --> 01:13:59,380 Oh no they're not, they're mine. 1049 01:13:59,435 --> 01:14:01,847 You bought that estate for $400,000. 1050 01:14:01,938 --> 01:14:02,938 Estate? 1051 01:14:03,648 --> 01:14:05,980 This is what you call an estate? 1052 01:14:06,067 --> 01:14:07,352 This is the Addams house. 1053 01:14:07,443 --> 01:14:08,353 What? 1054 01:14:08,444 --> 01:14:09,934 You sold my house? 1055 01:14:11,238 --> 01:14:13,354 You rotten swindler! 1056 01:14:13,449 --> 01:14:19,661 How could you sell a house for $400,000 without even asking the owner? 1057 01:14:19,747 --> 01:14:22,864 Okay, then I guess I'll just take my money back. 1058 01:14:22,959 --> 01:14:24,369 Well, no, no, no, that's mine. 1059 01:14:24,460 --> 01:14:26,792 - You let go! - The hell you say, you fraud! 1060 01:14:26,837 --> 01:14:28,543 That's mine, I'll call the cop! 1061 01:14:28,631 --> 01:14:31,589 No need, I'm already here. 1062 01:14:31,676 --> 01:14:32,882 Listen here, officer. 1063 01:14:32,969 --> 01:14:36,257 Yes, I'm the officer, but not the officer you think. 1064 01:14:36,347 --> 01:14:37,347 I'm 1065 01:14:39,642 --> 01:14:40,642 the ranger. 1066 01:14:40,726 --> 01:14:42,307 The ranger? 1067 01:14:44,814 --> 01:14:46,179 My brother? 1068 01:14:46,273 --> 01:14:47,934 I'm your beloved brother. 1069 01:14:48,025 --> 01:14:50,061 Beloved my ass. 1070 01:14:50,152 --> 01:14:54,145 You were the one who first took Antonio out to play in the hay. 1071 01:14:54,240 --> 01:14:57,001 If it hadn't been for me, he never would have gotten out of the house. 1072 01:14:57,076 --> 01:15:01,490 Just because out of love for his dead daddy, he poisoned your lover. 1073 01:15:01,580 --> 01:15:02,990 "Dallas" was never like this. 1074 01:15:03,082 --> 01:15:06,199 I don't want to be involved in no family squabbles. 1075 01:15:06,293 --> 01:15:08,659 I'm leaving, with my money. 1076 01:15:09,547 --> 01:15:11,503 Hold on, g. 1077 01:15:11,590 --> 01:15:12,590 Antonio? 1078 01:15:13,968 --> 01:15:17,085 No, not Antonio. I'm Jo. 1079 01:15:17,179 --> 01:15:20,091 Hi, the money is yours, but it's partly due to me... 1080 01:15:20,182 --> 01:15:22,889 That you got it back, so you owe me a 40% finder's fee. 1081 01:15:22,977 --> 01:15:24,217 Fair is fair. 1082 01:15:25,938 --> 01:15:27,769 Jo, now we have the money. 1083 01:15:27,857 --> 01:15:30,815 We can finally get back together again. 1084 01:15:30,901 --> 01:15:32,437 Oh, I can't wait. 1085 01:15:32,528 --> 01:15:37,022 You luscious piece of backstabbing, two-timing, I'll fuck anything that walks... 1086 01:15:37,116 --> 01:15:39,357 Vertebrate or invertebrate creme brulee souffle. 1087 01:15:39,452 --> 01:15:41,659 But please no more fooling around on the side, huh? 1088 01:15:41,746 --> 01:15:45,113 No, it'll never happen again, I swear. 1089 01:15:45,207 --> 01:15:47,789 Cross my heart and hope to die. 1090 01:15:55,760 --> 01:15:57,375 He's not the mummy, come on! 1091 01:15:57,470 --> 01:16:00,007 Six to one, six to one! Place your bets! 1092 01:16:10,107 --> 01:16:11,313 Ciao, everybody! 1093 01:16:11,400 --> 01:16:13,982 I'm the real Antonio and I'm alive. 1094 01:16:14,070 --> 01:16:15,901 My son is alive? 1095 01:16:15,988 --> 01:16:17,944 Who the fuck did I kill? 1096 01:16:18,032 --> 01:16:22,275 Antonio's alive! 1097 01:16:28,667 --> 01:16:31,409 Yes, the band played. 1098 01:16:32,338 --> 01:16:34,374 The parade began. 1099 01:16:37,218 --> 01:16:39,334 The people cheered. 1100 01:16:39,428 --> 01:16:40,838 Why, you may ask? 1101 01:16:42,181 --> 01:16:46,094 Because they stopped taking off all those got damn masks. 1102 01:16:50,022 --> 01:16:53,389 Your honor, I've got the entire situation completely under my control. 1103 01:16:53,484 --> 01:16:54,769 I don't need reinforcements. 1104 01:16:54,860 --> 01:16:59,024 Like always, Mr. mayor, I did the whole thing single-handed. 1105 01:16:59,115 --> 01:17:02,903 Now, don't you forget that when my promotion time rolls around. 1106 01:17:02,993 --> 01:17:05,450 Oh, excuse me. What? Oh, we love you Pete putrid! 1107 01:17:05,538 --> 01:17:08,258 You're the best, you're wonderful, you're fabulous, you're marvelous! 1108 01:17:08,290 --> 01:17:11,623 We love you, you're a god! Oh thank you, thank you so much! You're too kind. 1109 01:17:11,710 --> 01:17:16,454 I got to take a shower because I smell like Kevin costner after "dances with wolves." 1110 01:17:18,092 --> 01:17:19,252 See you later. 1111 01:17:24,890 --> 01:17:27,472 And so this is my story. 1112 01:17:27,560 --> 01:17:31,144 Which brings us to the moment of my demise. 1113 01:17:37,945 --> 01:17:38,945 Alfred! 1114 01:17:39,780 --> 01:17:44,365 So it was the spirit of Alfred Hitchcock who killed me. 1115 01:17:44,451 --> 01:17:48,444 I guess he did not like me fucking up his movie. 1116 01:17:50,166 --> 01:17:52,122 Or was it Hitchcock? 1117 01:17:55,838 --> 01:17:58,580 I am Dr. animal cannibal pizza! 1118 01:18:01,051 --> 01:18:02,051 Iggy-boo! 1119 01:18:02,887 --> 01:18:03,887 Iggy-boo! 1120 01:18:06,182 --> 01:18:07,182 Iggy-boo! 1121 01:18:11,979 --> 01:18:13,185 Hi there! 1122 01:18:13,272 --> 01:18:14,272 Funny face. 1123 01:18:16,775 --> 01:18:18,515 Iggy-boo! 1124 01:21:12,910 --> 01:21:15,196 Subtitles: Christopher coco 2020 turbine medien gmbh 77560

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