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Hello.

Hi, Kate. I have Amy Kim and Jay Lowry for you.

- It's adorable. - Hi, guys.

- Kate. - Hi, Kate!

Hi!

How are you feeling about the release?

I, uh, great.

Everyone here loves the book.

I sent it to my mom. Did I tell you that?

- Oh! - She loved it.

And we're all so excited about the New York Times review.

Great.

But, listen, we got the first numbers in today.

Unfortunately, Kate, they are a little lower than expected.

Wait, how low?

I still think they're very respectable, don't you, Amy?

Yes, especially for a first-time writer.

- Uh-huh. - But we're actually calling you

because we talked to Foxtrot this morning and we have some bad news.

And we are 100 percent in disagreement with this, Kate...

But they want to cancel the book tour.

Wait, what?

Honestly, Jay, I just feel like this is a symptom of the time.

I totally agree. This never would have happened 10 years ago.

No. Wait, isn't the book tour supposed to promote the book so that you can get more orders?

- This is so frustrating. - It's the market.

It's just a very difficult climate these days.

No one wants to spend the money to promote.

I feel like we can point the finger at e-books here.

E-books, yes. Always with the e-books.

- Yeah. - But, listen,

Amy and I think we can reopen this conversation

if we get a good review in the Times.

Yes, a good New York Times review could change everything.

We've both seen it happen, Kate.

- Yeah. - The most important thing is that

you wrote an amazing book, okay? Now, hang in there.

We'll talk soon.

Okay. Bye.

- Bye. - Bye!

This is Michael's voicemail.

I won't listen to it, but I'll see that you called.

Hey, Michael, um, I just wanted to give you a call

because it looks like you're still getting some pretty important mail, uh, here

and I want to figure out how to get it to you.

So, um, and it would just be nice to talk to you.

So, give me a call when you get a chance. Okay. Bye.

Oh, my gosh!

- So cute. Oh, my gosh! - Ooh, I love it. Okay, what else?

Janessa, is this you?

All right, girls, let's take some pictures please.

Oh, my God! Okay.

Is this good?

Ladies.

Wait, Kate get in here.

Oh, yeah. Come on, you have to.

Get... I couldn't... I'm not pregnant.

Get in here.

To be in this picture.

- I love it. - Okay.

All right, now turn and show me your bump, your baby bump.

Oh, God! I can't... No, I can't be in.

Get in here.

I know.

Look what I got.

- Yes. - Oh, I don't...

- Open it. - Is that your new book? I haven't even seen it.

- Look at this. - Oh, my God!

- Cover is horrible. - No, it's great.

Look at that.

Okay, ready?

Oh.

Smile.

Perfect.

Hey, Kate. This is a voice from your past. It's David Kirkpatrick from IU.

It's been a long time since we chatted, I know, uh, too long. I hope you're well.

I know your book just came out which is wonderful by the way and I know it's last-minute,

but I'm wondering if you'd be willing to come down to your alma mater

and do a reading.

I'd love the chance to catch up. Give me a call back.

Miss Conklin. Miss Conklin.

It's me, Elliot Mobono.

We've been communicating over a text message.

- I'm the graduate assistant here. - Yes, hi, Elliot.

Welcome to Carbondale, or I guess welcome back, right?

Because you went here, right?

- Obviously, that's why you're here. - Yeah.

I'm here for whatever you need this weekend,

tour guide, chauffeur, general companionship,

and I have your itinerary printed out right here.

Oh, great, great.

I'm a big fan of yours.

I bought your book.

I haven't read it yet, but I will.

Oh, cool! Thanks for buying it.

I thought it would be awkward if I didn't.

- Yeah, yeah. I guess. - Oh, this is me.

I... I'm gonna take you to the bed-and-breakfast first, if that's okay.

- Sure. - Great, great.

- Oh, thank you. - There you go.

Thank you. Oh, I got it.

- I got it. Yeah. - You sure? Oh!

- You good? - Yes.

Oh, man.

- That was my old house. - Yeah?

I kinda remember this place. Yeah?

Okay, you're here.

Come on. I'll show you your room.

Wow, this place is perfect!

Fresh towels in the bathroom,

there's an extra blanket in case you get cold, breakfast at 9:00 a.m.

Oh, wow! I didn't expect there to actually be breakfast.

I'm not really a breakfast person.

What did you think bed-and-breakfast meant?

I thought it's more like an Airbnb.

Here are your keys. It's the only set you're gonna get,

so, you better wear them around your neck.

Got it.

Well, I'll leave you to it.

I'll be back in a little bit to pick you up for the reading, unless you want me to stay.

Oh, no. I'm fine.

- Of course. Okay. - Thank you so much, Elliot.

- Bye. - Bye.

Hey, you're wearing the same blazer.

Yeah.

Ready?

And here we are.

Oh, wow.

- Kate! - I'm gonna go sit up closer.

- Hello. - David!

Wow. Welcome back.

- It's great to see you. - No, it's good to see you, too.

Thank you for having me. I... I was so excited to hear you're still teaching.

Yeah, I'm still at it.

Hopefully, I'm better at this whole professor thing than when you were in my class.

Come on, you blew everyone away that first year.

You were this young writer who came out of nowhere, you were so enthusiastic.

Well, I'm older now, but thanks, Kate.

That's such a... That's such a big compliment. Thank you.

- Hi. - Oh, hi, Alexis.

Uh, oh, Kate, this is my wife Alexis.

You have a wife!

I do.

I got one about five years ago.

Well, it is so nice to meet you.

So nice to meet you. David talks about you all the time.

Oh, really?

No, not all the time.

Not all the time.

- Hello, everyone. We're about to get started. - I'm gonna go find a seat.

- Please take your seats. - Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Not all the time.

My name is April Vavani.

I am this year's student editor of the Crab Orchard Review, our literary magazine.

- Kate, let's get a drink later, yeah? - Yeah, yeah.

I am so excited to welcome you all to the last speaker...

Oh, uh... I love this by the way.

Very cool.

Professor David Kirkpatrick will be introducing tonight's author.

Please welcome Professor Kirkpatrick.

Well, and everyone, a big thanks to April for organizing this evening.

I mean, applause, yeah, an applaud...

Tonight's author comes to us all the way from Chicago...

- Oh, thank you. - ...and has just published her first novel.

She also happens to be one of my former students,

although I do seem to remember you falling asleep during one of my lectures, Kate.

And now we have the pleasure of hearing an excerpt from her novel, Seasons Past.

Please welcome, Kate Conklin.

Thank you.

Wow, thank you, everyone. Ugh. It is such a pleasure to be back here

and I'm so excited to share my book with you.

It just came out.

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

Um, yeah, I'm... I am pretty proud of it, even though, I...

I don't love the cover, um, but anyway, let's... Okay.

Let's get into it. Okay. All right.

Um...

But this morning felt different.

The clouds seemed to be moving faster than he had ever noticed before.

Oh, wait! Sorry, just for context,

this is when the main character Calvin meets his love interest Willoughby.

But this morning felt different.

The clouds seemed to be moving faster than he had ever noticed before,

faster than he thought maybe he'd ever seen

and the Sun was so bright that as he walked along the familiar shore,

it felt as though he was walking under a strobe light,

pulsing almost as often as the cold waves licked his toes.

And just then, as he took note of all that,

he started out toward the mossy rock and found that it was occupied.

Yeah!

- The students adored you. - Oh, shut up.

I will not shut up and I will never shut up.

I was surprised they weren't asking for autographs.

Well, a few of them did ask for my personal emails.

Oh, wow. Your personal email address, even better.

Alexis didn't like it.

That's not true.

She's become quite the critic since marrying me.

Come on, it's fine, Kate can handle it.

It's good for her. It's good to hear criticism.

It's just... I had a hard time connecting, is all I said.

Oh!

It's okay, it's not for everyone.

I thought it was fantastic.

Well, on that awkward note, I'm going to use the restroom.

- Come on, it's okay? - No, it's okay.

I actually just have to go.

Asshole.

Well, that's just a cute little name she has for me.

- Hmm, for when you're being an asshole? - For when I'm being an asshole.

Yeah, so what's next for you, Miss Conklin?

Tell me all of your plans.

Oh, well, I'm in sort of limbo right now.

- I'm writing some. - Good.

How's your book doing?

Um, well, not as good as I would have hoped.

I guess the sales are sort of low.

I cancelled my book tour.

Well, I'm glad we got you down here then.

Yeah, me, too.

Hmm.

Listen, Kate. I wanted to ask you something.

Um, what would you think about teaching here?

- Teaching here? - Teaching here.

- Teaching here. - Mm-Hm.

We just formed a search committee to hire someone for the fall

and I immediately thought of you.

Uh, what? I don't even have an MFA.

That's something I think the committee could look past for a published alum.

It would be nice to have you here again, Kate.

- Have a good night. - Bye! Thanks again.

Oh, God!

Oh, shit!

Oh!

Oh, my God!

I am so sorry. I did not mean to wake you up. I... I can't find my keys.

I did have it around my neck, but I'm gonna be honest.

It was a little embarrassing, so I put it in my bag and I now...

I... I will... I... I will pay for more keys. I am so sorry.

Okay.

Hmm.

What up?

Laura, guess where I am?

- Where? - In Carbondale.

On your book tour?

Uh, not exactly.

David Kirkpatrick brought me down to do a reading.

Whoa, I haven't heard about that dude in a while.

Oh, remember how he used to be so into you.

He was not. He's married now. Also, the point is, I'm in Carbondale.

Wow, Carbondale. That's wild.

And I'm staying at that bed-and-breakfast on our old street.

Does it still smell like weed?

Yes.

Oh, my God, I love it here. I forgot how cozy this place is.

Oh, my God!

I am standing right in front of our old house.

Man, I loved that house.

We had all those like little Tibetan prayer flags everywhere.

Actually, I'm realizing now that that was probably some fucked up cultural appropriation...

Okay, I love you. I gotta go. Okay, goodbye.

Okay, send me a pic of the house.

Okay, I will. Bye, bye.

This is Michael's voicemail.

I won't listen to it, but I'll see that you called.

Hey, Michael. It's Kate.

Uh, I just missed a call from you.

Um, I don't know if you're calling to get together or whatever,

but I'm actually out of town, uh, on my book tour.

So, maybe we could get a drink when I'm back in town.

Great, okay. So, give me a call back. Okay, bye.

- Hey! - Oh, hi.

S... Um, sorry. I used to live here.

Aren't you the visiting author?

Yeah, I'm... I'm Kate. Hi. Hi. I'm staying right across the street.

Cool, cool. Yeah. I'm Animal.

Did you want to see the whole place?

Yes, yeah.

That's Hugo.

- Hey. - Hi.

Kate used to live here.

- Really? - Like 15 years ago.

Now she's like a super successful author.

- Cool. - Well, I wouldn't say super.

You wrote a book.

She wrote a book.

Hey, did they used to call this the Writer's Retreat back then?

Do you guys still call it the Writer's Retreat?

- I named it the Writer's Retreat. - Seriously?

Yes, we were all creative writing majors.

Man, you're like our forefathers then.

That's Tall Brandon.

Hey.

Can I see my old room?

- I put those stars up there. - Wow, I look at those.

Hmm, I used to look at them, too.

Man, I feel so far away from the person I was when I lived in this room.

I can't wait to feel far away from this room.

I remember that feeling too.

And now you're back.

Yes. I'm back at college.

Do you know Professor Kirkpatrick?

He's the one who invited me here.

- I don't have him, but my girlfriend's in his class. - Oh, yeah. He's incredible.

I mean, he's pretty much the reason I'm a writer.

Yeah, no, everyone seems to really like him.

Hey.

Do you still want to get the kegs?

Tall Brandon, you want to maybe put some clothes on?

I'm not fully dry yet.

We're having a party tonight.

We used to have incredible parties here.

You should come.

Yeah, maybe.

Chris lunged at me with unimaginable speed

and plunged his sword past my third arm toward...

Carry on.

...directly into my heart.

Strangely, as I began bleeding to death in the middle of the park,

all I could think about was whether this was the fastest

that anyone had ever died in sword combat.

I was torn about it.

On the one hand, it didn't seem like anyone could have ever died faster,

but then again, whenever you think something like that,

there's always someone ready to defy your expectation.

Oh, wow, well, much improved, much improved.

I think I may only add one small, small note. I think you know what it is.

I want you to chop off the beginning.

First page, gone.

Okay, yeah.

I know it's difficult, but we should just be in it.

Yeah, thank you.

Be in it already.

All right, so you may have noticed that we have a visitor.

Uh, some of you were in her reading last night

and for those of you who were not, this is Kate Conklin.

Uh, it may interest you to know that long ago in ancient history,

Kate was in my very first class ever as a professor.

And I think, that year, I was younger than you are now if you can believe it?

I can't.

I know. It does seem unbelievable.

All right, well, Miss Conklin is here to observe,

so, let's give her something to observe.

Who's up next?

I'll go.

April. Fantastic.

This is called Duvet.

I imagine you stepping into this dream wearing your own body and saying,

"What the fuck?" Like you already know what the fuck?

I don't mean to sound crass, but where your teeth meet my flesh is a pressure point.

I go limp when out buying groceries,

the burning orange chicken in your beard

smells like a pesticide and it kills me.

Tired now, I unbutton your skin and slip inside

where everything is white and only I exist.

I lost a bunch of library books and I didn't know if that would affect my grade.

That's... That's something you'll have to talk about with the librarian, you know.

- Okay. - Yeah.

Kate, thanks for coming. Did you enjoy it?

Oh, oh, my gosh. Yeah, I loved it.

All right. Okay, well, it's actually my office hour now, so I can't hang out, but, um...

Oh, yeah, of course.

But I... I was thinking, uh, perhaps we could get dinner tomorrow, yeah?

Yes.

- Okay, right. - Yeah, with Alexis?

Oh, uh, no. She... She'll be out of town.

Oh.

- In Kentucky. - Bummer!

Visiting her sister.

Cool.

- Yeah, but you and me, yeah? - Yeah.

Thank you again for having me.

Thank you for being had.

- Sorry, inappropriate probably. - Yeah, it's all right.

- I'm not allowed to say this kind of thing anymore. - No.

But all right, I'll see you tomorrow.

- Yes. - Yeah, okay great.

Okay.

Kate Conklin?

- It's me. It's Brad. - Brad?

Oh, my God! Bradley Cooper.

- Hi. - Oh, you're like a man now.

Thanks. Thank... You too. I mean, a woman, I mean.

Wow. Bradley Cooper, crazy! It's been so long.

Yeah, I... I... I actually just go by Brad now.

- Really? - Yeah.

So, what are you doing here?

Oh, right. Oh, I'm just in town for a few days.

The university brought me down to do a reading for my new book.

No ways! So, you actually became a writer? That's so cool.

Yeah, I guess it is.

Oh, my God! What fun thing are you doing right now?

You're never gonna fucking believe who I'm getting drinks with.

- Who? - Bradley Cooper.

From Smith Halls?

Yes, except for he's like really cool now.

Do you remember when we saw him crying?

Oh, my God! Yes. In the Jimmy John's.

You should sneak me a pic of him.

No, I'm not doing that.

Come on, I want to see him.

No, you always make me do that and I always get caught.

I want to see him, Kate, come on.

- No. - Katie.

No, I'm not doing it.

- Katie. - I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it.

I gotta go. I'm here. I love you. Goodbye.

I gotta go. I love you.

I got a pitcher of beer coming. I hope that's okay. I took the liberty of choosing.

Oh, yeah. That's fine.

Uh, sorry, this is a work thing.

I have to answer this real quick. I'm sorry.

Oh, what was that?

Oh, God, my phone just keeps flashing.

Oh, weird.

Yes.

I'm so glad that you came.

This is weird, but I used to jerk off to you in college.

Really?

Yes, like you were my number one... number one jerk off.

Wow.

Yeah, and then when I saw you today, I just...

It all came rushing back and I was like, "Oh, my God! I forgot about that girl."

Totally!

Sorry that took forever.

The bartender was so slow.

Oh, that's okay. Uh, do we order food with you, or up at the bar?

Oh, no. I don't work here.

Oh, yeah. No, Kate, this is my friend Rachel.

- She's an old friend. - Oh, I'm so sorry.

Oh, that's... It's great.

Yeah.

- So, were you already here? - Mm-Hm.

Brad invited me.

Yeah, I thought we could all hang out together.

Totally.

- Kate, you want to vape? - Oh!

- It's weed. - No, I'm... I'm good.

- Oh, come on. - You just press the button.

- Press the button. - Yeah.

So, what's your book you wrote?

Oh, yeah, tell us about it.

Oh, yeah, oh.

Um, so it takes place in New England,

on this island off the coast of Connecticut called Manchester Island

and the main character is this guy called Calvin.

And he's really wealthy,

but he has this like really strained relationship with his parents

because he's adopted and he's always felt out of place, you know.

And, um, so, okay.

So, anyway, every day, he goes for a walk

and he sits on this really specific rock

and then one day, he goes there and there's this woman there.

And he's never seen her before, but she's beautiful and she's wild.

- And she's... - Do they fuck?

They actually don't.

He loves her, of course, but the whole thing is very restrained.

Yeah, I could go for a little restraint.

Exactly.

So, could I, but you know, people don't usually want that.

They want something dramatic and exciting, bold.

But I don't think that life is bold like it is stories.

I think real life is just very restrained.

Oh, my God! I'm not doing this anymore.

Get up, Meredith.

Meredith, get up.

I'm getting seriously pissed off with you right now.

My legs are broken.

Your legs are not broken. Get up.

Oh, God!

Fuck!

Oh, my God!

Who the fuck is that?

Write back.

Write back, you fucking asshole.

Hey.

- Hey. - Laura, I'm at our house.

What are you doing at our house?

They're having a party.

Wait, what happened to Bradley Cooper?

Oh, that was the worst. Oh, my God, I'll tell you about it later.

- What's it like? - It seems cool.

Like way cooler than our parties.

- Oh! - What are you doing?

Oh. Well, I guess I was peeing, but now I'm just sitting on the toilet with my pants down.

Okay, so Michael posted a new photo and this one is with a girl.

You have to stop looking at his Instagram.

I know. I only look at it when I'm sad and I texted him.

Kate!

Oh, shit! I think he's ringing me back.

It's just my battery. I gotta go.

Okay, well, I probably wet my vagina now.

Call me in the morning.

She's gone.

Hey, Tall Brandon.

Oh, hey. You came to our party.

- Mm-Hm. - This is so crazy.

Do you want some weed?

Um, do you think it's like ethical for me to do drugs with you?

I don't know.

I used to dance in this room like 15 years ago.

I was in kindergarten 15 years ago.

- Hey, you came. - What?

I said, hey you came.

Hold on.

- You came. - Oh, yeah.

- Yeah. - Is it weird?

Yes, it's super weird.

- Really? - Yeah, I'm kidding. It's fine.

No one thinks it's weird.

Trust me, it's awesome.

I mean you're like an actual writer.

I mean, technically, you're an actual writer, too.

Technically, yes. That's true.

April!

I'm... I'm going to go dance.

- Okay. - Okay.

Cool party.

Yeah.

Oh, my God!

Hey, Tall Brandon. Do you have an iPhone charger?

- What? - Do you have an iPhone charger?

Oh, I'm a Galaxy boy.

You got to talk to Animal, he's upstairs.

- Animal? - Yeah, Animal.

Oh, yeah. Cool.

Animal.

Oh, no!

Did you buy more condoms?

- Good. - Yep.

Don't rip my skirt.

Don't do it.

You got it.

Mm-Mm, good.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Help me. Help me with my shirt. Okay. - Okay.

Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it.

What?

Wait. Go to the last one.

Hmm, that's definitely attention-seeking behavior.

Okay, go to the one with the girl.

I think she's just a friend.

Hold on. See if she's tagged.

Okay. Oh, she's tagged.

My God! He has a girlfriend.

Oh, I'm so pathetic.

Were you hoping you guys would get back together?

No. Not.

Maybe. Oh, God! Oh, my God! Maybe I was.

Breakups are hard, man.

Do you want us to walk you home?

No, I can't even get in. I lost the key and that old lady is so mean.

I can make up a little, um, bed on the couch if you want.

Oh!

I'll go make it. Right.

What's up?

Oh, my God!

Hey, how are you feeling?

Great.

Is it... Thank you for...

Hey, we should clean up before we head out.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Hey, when are we leaving?

In like, 30.

- Hey. - Hi.

You're still here.

Yeah, I... I kind of slept here.

Cool. What are you doing today?

Um, I think I'm meeting with students later this afternoon.

Do you want to hang out before?

Emma got her roommate's car and we're going to the lake.

Oh, my God! I've not thought about that lake in forever.

Yeah, it'll be fun.

I think I'm gonna take a shower.

Oh, God!

- Hey. - Hi.

Nice shirt.

Oh, yeah.

- Hey. - Hi.

You want one?

Oh, are those drugs?

Yeah, it's a weed gummy, but it's pretty chill.

Oh, I don't have a swimsuit or anything.

Just wear your bra.

Um.

Sup?

Sup?

- Hey. - Hi.

You want to come in?

Oh, man, I don't think these gummies are working.

Yeah.

Yeah, not really doing anything.

Maybe a dud.

Mm-Hm, yeah.

Hey, I think I read something of yours from when you were here.

- You did? - Yeah.

The one about your brother.

You read that?

Yeah, it was really good.

Try saying that to my parents.

They hardly talked to me after I wrote it.

Did your brother really die?

Yeah.

Was he really an asshole?

Yeah.

I wish I could write stuff like that.

I don't know, it didn't really pan out for me.

I think it was too sad or something,

you know, made people uncomfortable.

It's not really my style anymore, you know, it's out of fashion.

Personal essay is dead.

Right.

Yeah, I think, um... I think those gummies are starting to work.

It's like as soon as you think you're not stoned

that's when you realize you're definitely stoned.

Yeah, it's like your body knows before your mind knows,

but your body is sending signals to your mind saying, "Hey, check in on yourself."

Yeah, it's like your brain is too stupid to catch up,

so, you feel it before you know it.

You feel it before you know it.

Cool.

Very cool.

You're supposed to catch it. Come on.

- You want to play? - Sure.

All right, all right.

Wow.

Hey, watch out. Emma has a hell of an arm.

- Oh, shit! - Ready?

- Yeah. - We're ready. Yeah, we're ready.

Oh, schnikes!

Hey, what's going on?

April's here.

Oh, yeah. I think I saw her at the party last night.

Yeah, we haven't seen her in a while though.

She read a poem in class yesterday.

Yeah, she's like the star of the English department.

Animal thinks she's cheating on him.

Really?

Brandon, get in the water.

Oh, I think I gotta go.

- Elliot, I'm so sorry. - Not a problem. It was a beautiful drive.

Austin.

Austin.

Hi, excuse me.

I am looking for an Austin.

I... I don't know about that person.

Oh, damn, I'm supposed to have a meeting with him.

There was a guy here waiting around earlier, but he left.

Oh, damn it. Do you think that was Austin?

- What does he look like? - I don't know.

Yeah, that's a good one.

Hey.

I really liked your reading in class, by the way.

- Thanks. - You're really lucky to have David as a professor.

He was a huge influence on me.

Yeah, he's... He's awesome.

So, do you want to talk about your work?

Yeah, for sure, I mean, that's why I'm here.

Okay.

Well, I think if you cut down on the length of this one

and reformat it, it would really help.

Plus, I would probably change the title.

What's wrong with the title?

One-word titles aren't really in Vogue right now.

They're seen as kind of grandiose.

Oh, but, uh, I don't think I want to change it.

- What do you mean? - I mean, I already really like it.

I wrote it about something that's really important to me.

I don't want to fuck with that, you know.

Okay, yeah.

But that's part of being a working writer, you gotta make a living.

I don't know. I just... I don't love the idea of making changes

for like some random editor in New York or whatever.

Okay, sure.

What?

No, I just think that's a little naive.

You don't get to be difficult starting out, especially as a woman.

You got to play the game, or they're never gonna publish you.

Didn't your publisher just cancel your book tour though?

How do you know that?

- Did David tell you that? - Yeah.

Okay, obviously, I told that to him in confidence,

but, yes, they did just cancel my tour.

But that's more about the state of the publishing industry than my book.

You can't just keep all your work in a binder and never try to get it published.

I am not gonna do that.

I'm gonna start my own press.

Start your own press?

Yeah, um, I've been gathering my friend's work and, uh...

And it'll be properly bound and everything, obviously,

but, yeah, I wanted to know what you thought.

Uh, yeah. It's cool.

How'd it go?

Oh, uh, it was fine.

Well, we're off to your next stop, dinner with Professor Kirkpatrick.

What dinner?

You had me add it to your itinerary yesterday.

Oh, yeah. Right.

This is why I never read reviews, Kate.

I will not go near them. I won't even look at them.

I Google sometimes and read them... the first line in them.

No, I won't go further in.

Critics are the worst kind of human.

They are the worst kind of human.

- Who wrote it? - I don't know.

Probably Nesbo. I bet it was Nesbo.

That asshole.

You know there was an email circulating a few years back,

they had a story that he wrote in his 20s.

What a piece of shit!

I'll send that to you. That'll make you feel better.

It'll make you feel like a genius.

What did your publisher say?

He didn't say anything.

Cowards!

Publishers are just as bad and you'll find that to be true.

This is exactly the reason I'm gonna self-publish my next novel.

You and I are so similar, Kate.

That's why it'd be great if you came and toured next year.

Would it?

Yes, and if you plan it the way I do, it's not a hard job.

Most of the students don't have a future in writing, let's be honest,

but the few who do, I mean, you heard April reading in class.

- You saw how good she was. - Yes, she's very good.

Well, actually that reminds me, uh, I should get going.

I promised I'd help her with her portfolio tonight so.

Hey, chin up.

- Oh, look who it is. - Sorry, I don't have time for it.

I wasn't sure you were coming back.

Of course, I was coming back.

All my stuff is here and I had to find another place to sleep last night by the way.

If it was important for you to sleep here,

you would have arrived at a decent hour.

I should be able to arrive whenever I want because that's how hotels work.

Well, this is not a hotel, young lady.

This is my home and when you're in my home, you live under my rules.

Just give me another key.

No more keys.

Oh, my God! Jesus.

Fine.

Hi.

I snuck out.

Oh.

Yeah, she was just like only into herself. She never cared about him.

Yeah, she sucks.

So, why'd she break up with him?

- She's banging another dude. - Shh!

She basically admitted to it.

I think I know who it is.

Kirkpatrick?

Yeah.

God, I've always known that guy was a creep.

He gave me a C in freshman comp.

- Hmm. - Yeah, I don't trust him.

Also, isn't he married?

- Yes, he is. I just met his wife. - See!

You should write an article about him.

Expose his ass.

Yeah, maybe I should.

Oh, come on. You don't have any proof.

- He's meeting with her tonight. He told me so. - Really?

- I wonder where. - I know where he lives.

Should we go over there?

We can just go see if her car is there or something.

- And then what? - Then we'll know.

Can you get Chloe's car again?

Oh, shit, no. She's using it tonight.

I think I know someone who can drive.

Hey, guys.

Where are we off to?

Right here.

- Great. - You know the exact address?

It's my mom's house. He lives behind her.

Oh, crazy.

Brandon, what are you doing?

I'm fucking come prepared, man.

Dude, take off the ski mask.

No way.

Thanks for coming, Elliot. I'm glad I caught you before you went to bed.

Oh, I was already sleeping. I took an Ambien, so I was out.

You're on Ambien right now? Are you sure you're not too tired to drive?

Oh, yeah. No problem. I'll sleep when I'm dead. Am I right?

All right.

Okay, it's that one.

Right into that... stop there.

Hold on, hold on. Someone's parking.

Elliot, turn off your lights.

Is that him?

- It's totally him. - He's got someone with him.

- Should I take a picture? - No, Brandon, stop.

Oh, my God! Is that April?

I can't tell.

I can't really see her.

You said your mom lives right behind him, right?

Think we could see anything from the back?

Probably.

So, drive?

Yes, Elliot. Drive.

Wait, I thought you were from St. Louis.

I am. My mom moved here after my parents got divorced.

Why?

I don't know. Maybe she just wanted to be close to me.

Well, how come you never see her then?

I don't know, man. I don't always feel like hanging out with my mom all the time.

- Why? - Hey, that's... That's it right there.

No, no, no. Not really close to the street. I don't want her to see us.

Jeez, man. Get a handle on your relationship.

Shut the fuck up, Brandon.

- Just saying. - Okay.

This is good.

- Let's go. - Okay, all right.

Elliot, I think you should stay here with the car

and I'll call you if anything goes down.

- Okay? - Okay.

I might take a small nap.

Okay.

Brandon, would you take off the ski mask?

No, I like it.

- Would you... - Come on, that's mine.

Why would you bring this anyway? We all have cameras on our phones.

Are you kidding me? Do you think anyone believes anything taken digital anymore?

This offers analog proof.

- Oh, shit. - Oh, my God! Why did he do that?

It's... It... It's motion activated.

Okay.

Tall Brandon, you're so adorable.

Okay, well, shut up.

- That's a really tall fence. - It was a lot shorter in my mind.

Come on, boost me over.

Animal, be careful.

Brandon, calm down.

I feel he's going to hurt his hands.

I got it.

Kate, you ready?

Guys, I don't know.

- I'm doing it. I'm doing it. - Okay, just drop.

You got this.

Yeah, okay.

Okay, here I come.

I got a real bad feeling about this.

- Oh, shit! Someone's coming. - Brandon, come on.

Come on.

I think that was my first time climbing a fence.

You've got it man.

Good job, Hugo.

Is someone out here?

Fuck, man. It's my mom.

Wait, what about Tall Brandon?

Oh, my God!

There's no one to boost me over.

Hello.

This was very poorly planned. I feel totally abandoned right now.

Hey, man. We gotta go.

- Hey, you can be our lookout, okay? - Yeah, let's go.

Okay.

I know you're out here.

You better show yourself or I am calling the police.

- Should we talk about a plan? - Ooh, that's a great idea.

Okay, I feel like we should figure out if it's April first, right?

Yes.

I really feel like it's her though.

- I really feel like it's her, too. - I know.

- But we have to be sure. - Okay.

Down, down, down.

Let's go.

So, you're Hugo's friend?

I am. Yes.

Actually, we're more, uh, roommates than friends, I would say.

And you thought he would be here.

I mean, in... In my house?

In... my backyard?

Honestly, I just can't think of a good lie here.

You want to see something.

Yeah.

A lot of people just have the stickers.

If we hear an alarm, we'll just run away.

Okay.

All right?

This is starting to feel fucking weird.

We're in this dude's house.

It's fine.

Tall Brandon's our lookout now.

If anything goes wrong, we'll... We'll call him.

This is the craziest shit I've ever seen.

Well, wait, wait. Hold on. Here it comes.

Watch the guy in the middle.

Watch that.

- He's going to do it again. - I can't stand it.

I can't.

Oh, my God!

Wait, wait. Let me see another one of these things.

This floor is fucking squeaky.

- There's music upstairs. - We got to go up there.

We should all go up.

What are we going to do up there?

Tall Brandon's right about the photo.

Kate, come on.

Shh, shh, shh! Wait.

Wait, just wait.

Let's go.

Come on. Let's go, let's go.

Should we go in there?

What are we supposed to do when we go in there?

I don't know how to work this thing.

Oh, you just press the button.

Just... just press the button, Animal, right there.

- Where's the button? - It's right there.

It's right there.

Oh, no, no, no.

Z

- What the fuck? Get out of here. Who are you? - What the hell is this?

- What are you doing? - What are you doing?

- Who is this? - It's my boyfriend.

What? Jesus Christ.

What the hell, Kate?

Kate, what are you doing here?

Oh, wow!

I'm sorry.

- Stop doing that. - Come on, man.

And Hugo.

Chamomile.

- It's Emma, isn't it? - Yeah.

- Peppermint. - Thank you.

April, here you go, another peppermint.

Kate, can I speak with you for a moment, please, in the other room?

Excuse me.

What the hell is going on?

Can you please explain to me what you're doing?

Why don't you tell me what the hell you're doing?

I can't believe I walked in on that.

Walked in? You broke in. You broke into my house.

And as for what I was doing, honestly, that's none of your business.

Well, what about your wife? Is it her business? You are married, David.

Alexis and I have an understanding.

Oh, is that why you waited until she was in Kentucky visiting her sister

before inviting a student into your bed?

Yes, because she's not in Kentucky visiting her sister.

She's in Kentucky fucking her ex-husband.

Well, that sounds complicated.

It is.

Well, I... I guess you care about policy less than you used to.

Hmm?

My senior year. I came over to your house for a reading

and I tried to kiss you

and then you just quoted the faculty handbook.

Oh, yeah, right.

Well, I was a new hire.

I don't know. It just... it felt uneven.

Well, what about April?

If there's anything uneven in my relationship with April, it's the other way around.

- Believe me, she's... - Oh, fuck off.

All right, I may have had a... A minor lapse in professional judgment,

but I don't want this to affect you and me, Kate.

You... Your friendship means the world to me.

Did you even read my book?

Of course.

David, I saw it on your shelf.

It looks like no one even cracked it open.

I have another copy in my office. That's just a hard copy.

That sounds like a lie.

All right, I don't have time to read every fucking thing, everybody I know writes, okay?

I have student work to read on a constant basis.

It's never-ending, honestly, and I'm busy.

Okay, you're a dick.

- Come on. - No, I get it now. You're a dick.

Katie, I'm sorry I didn't read your book.

I will... I will get to it, but I was there during your reading

and I thought it sounded so good.

The... you know, Willoughby and the incident on the rock,

very strong, clear imagery.

Shut up.

Though I... I would still like to recommend you for the position here next year.

I would love to work with you.

Thanks, but I don't think so.

Okay.

Shit, we forgot about Tall Brandon.

Oh, my God! It's looking so good.

Should we take it out?

- Do you think it's time? - I do.

Okay.

Don't fall.

Don't fall.

Don't fall.

Oh...

It happens.

We can still eat it, though, right?

- Of course. - Oh, yeah, baby.

He's not answering.

Maybe he went home.

He's asleep.

Elliot.

Where's he going?

I don't know.

Sorry.

Sorry, everyone.

It's okay, Elliot. You can just, um, take us home.

Tall Brandon, did you go home? Where are you?

Nowhere.

Tell me where you are, Tall Brandon.

I'm where you left me.

Get your ass out front.

I think I have to go.

It's a shame.

I know.

I had such a fun time.

Well, you'll just have to come back.

Can I?

Mm-Hm.

I'm Jen, by the way.

Brandon, just Brandon.

Hey!

I just had the greatest night of my life.

Going in?

Yeah. I think I'm on the couch again tonight.

No, no, you can sleep on my bed. I'll take the couch.

Oh, no. No, you don't have to do that.

Well, technically, it is your room.

Technically, that's true.

All right, so you're taking your room.

Wow, thank you.

- Here you go. - Oh.

Thanks.

She loved those photos.

I'm sorry.

What happened with you?

Your boyfriend?

You mean my fiancé?

Fiancé?

- Damn. - Yeah.

Nothing happened.

I mean, nothing dramatic. I mean, I just... No, I didn't want to marry him.

And I knew it when he proposed to me.

And I knew it when I told my parents

and when we picked out the caterer and deejay

and all that stuff.

And I was just, you know,

too much of a coward to do anything about it.

So, finally he broke up with me.

And now he's with someone else.

She seems great, so that's nice.

And my book is doing so bad

and the one person who told me that he liked it, didn't even fucking read it.

You know that story of yours that I said I read about your brother?

Let me guess, you didn't read it?

I read it and it was really good.

Yeah.

Yeah, it was.

And it was really fucking sad.

Yeah, it was.

Can I play you a song?

Mm-Hm.

You know, I've been thinking,

just because a connection with a person

doesn't last forever

doesn't mean it's not real.

- You know. - Mm-Hm.

Yeah, I think that's true.

Hi.

Hi.

Did you sleep here?

- Is that Hugo's shirt? - Um, um...

Oh, my God!

I can't believe this.

- You are such a hypocrite. - Well... I... I don't...

You know how embarrassing that was for me last night?

It was humiliating.

And now you're doing like the same fucking thing.

Well, it's not exactly the same thing, but it is a very similar thing.

God! You know what really sucks?

I was really looking forward to meeting you and you weren't even nice.

And your book, you know what, your book is just...

I know my book sucks.

All right? I know.

How do you think that feels?

I didn't want to write a shitty book.

- Then why did you? - I don't know.

I'm not good enough to write a good book, I guess, or I was...

Life is not like school, all right.

It's not like a safe place to try things out and I was afraid to fail.

And then I did fail.

And now I feel pretty fucking stupid.

But I'm sorry I wasn't more encouraging when we met because I...

I think I'm just jealous of you.

What?

It's all like possibility for you and I've already fucked up.

I know I'm probably the last person you ever want to see,

but if there's anything I can ever do to help you...

Thanks.

- Checking out? - Uh, no.

I, uh, I was just hoping for some breakfast.

Oh!

This looks amazing.

- Coffee? - Yes, please.

Thank you so much.

Mm.

Hey, I'm sorry I missed your calls.

It's been like a crazy 24 hours.

Hey, that's okay.

Are you alright?

Well, I mean, I don't know. I guess I'm like in labor.

What? Already? Isn't this like really early?

Yeah, three weeks, um, but they think it's okay.

Ugh, they told me not to come in until my contractions get worse, so...

- Where's Matt? - He's still in fucking Belgium.

Oh, my God, Laura. Okay. Oh, how about your mom?

She's coming, but she really stresses me out, Kate.

Fuck. I know she does.

Okay, I can come straight there if you want me to.

Yeah, I really want you to.

Okay, I will see you in approximately six hours.

Fuck, that sounds like a really long time.

This is what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna call you back in 20 minutes, okay?

- Okay. - I love you.

I love you, too.

You squeeze that cervix shut, okay?

Okay, I'll try.

Hey, don't let the baby out. I love you. Bye.

Good morning.

Ready to head out?

By the way, I read your book.

- You did? - Yep, it's great.

I love Willoughby. So feisty.

Yeah.

How do you feel about it?

What do you mean?

You know, now that it's out. All the hoopla's over.

What do you think?

I think... it could be better.

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