All language subtitles for Dom.and.Adrian.2020.WEBRip.x264-ION10

(ELECTRONIC MUSIC THEME)

INTERVIEWER: This is the Dom
And Adrian 2020 documentary,

take one.

And action!

ADRIAN, V/O: The year is 2020,

and while everyone we know
is getting married,

buying houses and having kids,

my best friend Dom and I

are actually doing something
with our lives.

And we have a documentary crew
following our rise to fame

as superstar USBJs.

DOM, V/O: We were killing it
until we'd signed on

to play a drought-relief
bush doof

when the bushfires hit.

(PEOPLE SCREAM)

ADRIAN, V/O: Then we were
booked to play

a bushfire fundraiser
when the floods came through.

(MAN SCREAMS)

DOM, V/O: And then
we were gonna headline

a flood relief dance party

when the hailstorms fell.

(SCREAMING)

Oh, get fucked!

And now all that dogshit's
out of the way,

we have booked
our best gig yet -

a panel-beating fundraiser at
the North Bondi Bowling Club.

Time to teach these basic
Bondi driveway-hosing,

lotto ticket-buying dickheads
how to fucking party again.

What the fuck is COVID-19?

(THEME MUSIC)

TV: ..97 additional cases
of COVID-19...

- Heavy.
- Fucking hell.

This is so surreal, Dom!

You do realise
this is going to wipe out

thousands and thousands
of our future gigs?

Are you seriously worried
about gigs right now?

Do you not understand
the severity of this?

This will be the death
of fashion labels

and music festivals worldwide.

Fuck.

This is all about
the mental battle.

We've just got
to stay positive.

I am not moving in to
any of my dad's places, OK?

Brah, I will never leave Bondi.

I am Dom from Bondi,

my identity is tethered
to this postcode.

I've lived in Rose Bay once.

That's gross.

I'll never go through
that again.

Yeah, this is gonna be tough,

but you know
what else is tough? We are.

When you graduated
from Cranbrook

with nothing
but a trust fund

and two apartments
in Little Bay

that your dad bought off
the plan, did you give up?

No.

When you turned 30 and he
cancelled your credit cards,

did you cry about it?

Yeah, but...

..only for like a fortnight.

And where is your dickhead
of a dad now?

He's running Macquarie Bank.

Exactly! Meanwhile you went on

to start four failed
fashion labels,

promote seven nightclubs,
collect 175 lanyards

and pour the best goddamn
three-quarter almond latte

I've ever had in my life.

- Goddamn, Dom, you're right!
- Yeah, I'm right.

All we need to do is
pivot, create and evolve.

We're stuck inside,
but so is everybody else.

And so we just thought
we'd take advantage of that.

So we're going to live stream
our USBJ sets

and take donations.

But a percentage of profits
go to charity.

Oh, what charity?

domandadrian.org

And what percentage of profits?

Roughly give or take,
about, um...

- ..100%.
ADRIAN: Yeah, about that.

But it's a really good cause.

Those profits go into helping
struggling Bondi locals

pay their rent
to stay in Bondi.

(UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC)

Hey, Becky! Hey, Angus!

Hey, Dad, can you fuck off?

It's bad enough that you came
to all my dance recitals.

I don't want your presence
at my live-streamed Insta gigs,

thank you very much, and bye!

- Nose beers.
- (SNIFFS) Woo!

Hey, guys, what did you think
of the gig?

WOMAN 1: Yeah, fun.
MAN 1: Well done, guys.

WOMAN 2: Well done.
MAN 2: Good stuff.

Yeah, cool.

Are you guys blowing out
or what?

We sold our Bondi place
and bought in Thirroul,

but it's a bit stressful

with bridging finance
and stuff.

- Oh, yeah.
- Sounds basic.

We're at our investment
property in Terrigal,

we're home-schooling
the kids...

- Sounds brilliant.
- ..working from home.

MAN: We've had to
put the wedding back,

a bit nervous about having...

Oh, my God.

All that stability must be
so fucking oppressive.

Stoked we're not them.
That'd suck.

Yeah.

Dom, are we... Are we getting
too old for this?

What? No, man.

No, no. Fuck, man.

My dad studied, like,
ten years at medical school

to become a doctor,
and for what?

You know?

My whole life he's been saying,
"Have a back-up plan,

get some investments,
get a real job."

And none of that shit
matters now, you know.

This is like...

..ground zero.

Oi, how are we gonna pay rent?

Our sunglasses brand,
Throwing Shades.

Irrelevant.

Our beach towel brand,
Dry Hard.

Irrelevant.

Our Thai fusion food truck,
Thai Hard.

Irrelevant.

Our Thai Aussie fusion
food truck,

Thai-me Kangaroo Down Sport.

Super irrelevant.
Rolf Harris is a pedo. Next.

Our perpetually offended
youth blog, triggrd.com.

Fuck. Irrelevant.

Really?

People are still
going to want content

now more so than ever.

Nobody's got the time
and energy

to be offended
by identity politics

when they're dealing with
an actual fucking problem

like a global pandemic.

Dom, I fear you are grossly
underestimating

the collective hatred
for straight white males.

(DOORBELL DINGS)

Thanks for coming down here,
Debbie.

What is it that couldn't be
handled with a phone call?

DOM, V/O: Fucking real estate
agents.

Name another industry where
the client must eat the ass

of the service provider?

Seriously, Debbie's been
jacking our rent up

by $20 a month since 2004

and now the market's
finally collapsed

so it is her
who must eat our asses.

- We want a rent freeze.
- Please.

The owner won't do that.

But they got
the mortgage freeze, so...

They don't have
a mortgage.

Well, then, they can pass
the savings down to tenants.

They live off the rent,

and the rent of
their many other properties

so if you're struggling
with paying the lease,

then you should just
access your own super.

Access my...

Debbie, I'm a fucking
freelancer,

I've never had a steady job,
never paid a cent of super,

and quite frankly never
expected to live past 33

so who's got the power now?

Still me.

How come?

Because I'm a fucking
real estate agent.

- Sorry, Debbie.
- Sorry, Debbie.

So find the money.

(SIGHS) Tax debt.

Parking fines.

Mobile upgrade.

6G is here!

Being a grown-up sucks, man.
It's just endless admin!

No-one prepares you
for this shit!

Don't worry, Dom. It's just
a warning. She can't evict us.

(RINGTONE)

Hey, um, Dad.

You know how you always
used to tell me

I should get a real job
and some mortgages,

and investments and shit?

DAD: So you got a real job?

No, no. I just don't suppose
you wanna take back

any of that shitty life advice

now that capitalism is
on the verge of collapse?

You need money.
How much this time?

ADRIAN: No, I don't.

I am doing just f-

Where are you?

I know you're not at home

because there's not
a single angle

that isn't a spectacular
360-degree view of the Harbour.

I'm fine. Don't worry about me.

Are you at
the Palm Beach house?

No. Listen.

Are you at the other,
other house?

No. Adrian...

- Are you at the alpaca farm?
- I'm in a bunker, Adrian.

What? In a bunker?

- With who?
- Colleagues, friends.

Look, I've had to pull
a few strings,

but there's a spot
here for you.

You don't have to go
through this on your own.

No, I'm not on my own.
I'm with Dom.

He can't come.

Cool, good chat. See you, Dad!

OK, look,
I'll transfer some money.

Dad, I'm 33 years old.

I do not need your money,
thank you very much.

DAD: You're 37.

OK, bye.

Fucking hell.

Yeah, we have no work,
we have no money,

and we have no idea
how to survive.

But...

You know,
in and amongst all of this,

at least we have...

- ..each other.
- ..the internet.

Like, imagine going through
the Spanish flu

or the Black Plague or whatever
with no internet,

like that
would have been hectic.

(PLAYS GUITAR TUNE)

Hey, Dom,

I was thinking to help people
get through this

maybe we could create some
lockdown content together.

Oh, cool. Content.

OK, yeah, here's an idea
for some content.

(SINGS)♪ I'd rather
kill myself

♪ Than create
lockdown content. ♪

Great, but don't you think
it's important

that artists share
their stories?

No-one gives a shit
about artists,

especially not in the middle
of a global pandemic.

Artists are the white blood
cells of our culture, Dom.

Yeah, they used to be.

Right now they're scared
celebrities posting shit

they normally wouldn't
'cause they're afraid

of being irrelevant.
I get it, man.

Oh, my God, Dom.
You're such a Muggle.

Don't you join Ricky fucking
Gervais in crucifying artists

for being nice
and trying to help.

Do you not realise the irony of
a celebrity using his platform

to give celebrities advice on
how not to use their platform

to give advice?

Those rich cunts have no idea
what hardship is.

OK, Dom, celebrities are
just trying to help!

Help who, man? Certainly not
their PR people and stylists

who put decades
into making them look like

magical fucking unicorns

only to hold iPhones
inches from their face

and show us that
they too have nose hairs

and eye bags and blemishes.

The entertainment industry
will never come back from this.

You know, I'd actually rather
be on a fucking respirator

than create pathetic,
desperate, opportunistic

lockdown content!

(DOOR SLAMS)

Um, I don't want to, like,
step on any toes or anything,

but have you ever thought about
making content on your own?

I had an idea to start
my own YouTube channel

where I share simple, organic,
earthy recipes

because fuck Dom, I'll show
that beardy cunt what's up.

Jesus Christ, that was
a bit fucking heavy.

I'm right here.

Welcome to the first episode
of Cooked With Aids.

A good cake is like
a good friendship.

It may not look exactly like
what you had in your head,

but it's all about
the ingredients.

So um, let's go!

OK...

(LAUGHS) That is
absolutely perfect.

Oh, fuck my brain!

I just stepped
in the fucking cake!

OK, well,

sometimes things
don't really go as planned.

But if you've put in
the ground work,

and laid a solid base,

the flavour will
still be there.

And the cake will sate

what you crave.

(GAGS)

(GAGS)

Fuck work!

Look, why be busy
for busy's sake?

You know, I'm going to use this
opportunity to earth myself,

to take a step back,

become more grounded.

Mm. And I see you've
stopped wearing shoes.

Oh, these old things?

Yeah. Well, besides
grounding me,

my feet are actually
my best feature.

And I installed
a rainwater tank.

You know, they talk a lot
about toxic masculinity,

and, you know, the act
of hunting water from the sky

without consent.

It's masculine,
but it's alkaline.

It's like
an alkaline masculinity.

And I installed a veggie patch.

Look, farming's easy.

Anyone can do it.
Exhibit Adrian.

Why would you start a farm
in somewhere like Dubbo

or Tamworth that gets no rain?

Why wouldn't you set up a farm

in a place that gets
heaps of rain

and has ideal weather?

I don't mean to tell farmers
how to suck eggs

but like, there is a way
to suck an egg.

This is farming, OK?

Bang!

It's not fucking rocket
science, you know what I mean?

I know we millennials,
we get like a bad rap

for being wishy-washy
or whatever...

Yeah, but it's true, Dom!

Us millennials are so obsessed
by, like, wealth and success

and relevancy and legacy,

it's just...
it's all fucking bullshit!

But that's not bullshit, those
are things you actually need

to survive within this world.

Probably not worth
arguing about anyway

'cause technically you guys
aren't really millennials,

you're more, like, gen Xers.

You don't know
how old I am, Gerry.

GERRY: Well, it says
on your Facebook profile.

Maybe I lied.

I don't want the Chinese
people getting our data.

Right.
Well, what's more likely?

You lied on your Facebook
or your Tinder?

Wait, you've seen my Tinder
and you didn't swipe right?

You must be strong of will,
Gerry.

And you are too old for Tinder.

You know, if you cut back
on those ciggies,

beer and processed meats,

it'd probably help get rid
of your beard dandruff.

It's not dandruff,
it's dried egg.

(DOORBELL DINGS)

Um, hello?

Delivery for Adrian Archer

from The Right Worshipful
Master Mason,

Brother of 13 Bloodlines,
Steward and Swordbearer,

Angus Archer - Grand Director
of Ceremonies.

Yeah.

Er, do you want me
to sign for this or...?

OK.

(EERIE MUSIC)

(SPOOKY VOICE ECHOES)

(MUSIC STOPS)

What's your choice of
apocalypse vehicle gonna be?

Um, like... like a light plane.
Like a Cessna vibe...

Dead. You'll get shot
out of the sky immediately.

(SIGHS) What about a boat?

Nice idea, Gerry.

Yeah, I suppose you could go
down to Rose Bay wharf,

and cave some banker's head
in with a lug wrench.

You'd probably get out
of Sydney Harbour

but what happens
when the first storm hits?

- Dead.
- I wasn't...

Alright, here it is - scooter.

Quiet, light, fuel-efficient.

20 litres will get you
to Cairns and back.

The only negative
about a scooter

is that it's very much
like a solo thing

and I would have figured
that we would have tackled

the apocalypse together,
that's all.

End of the world, brah,
it's every man for himself.

It doesn't have to be.

I always thought that garages

were a place
where depressed dads

could come and imagine
how good life would be

if they didn't have a family,

and like, instead of taking
a 45-minute shit,

they can come to a garage
for 3.5 hours.

Since I've been tinkering
in a garage myself,

I'm developing
real-world skills.

And I'm creating
something meaningful.

Fuck it!

Something real.

So while you've been wasting
all day in the garage,

the Dominator's had
a few light-bulb moments.

Introducing the world's first
cryptocurrency

for drug dealers - Litcoin.

ADRIAN: Meaningless.

Introducing a high-testosterone,
living beverage

fermented in a mushroom
of my own cum -

Cumbucha.

Yuck.

An ethical, sustainable,
roof-farmed,

drinkable water brand
called Bondi Rain.

Who's going to pay for
something

that they can get
for free from a tap?

Oh, yeah,
that's full of fluoride,

blocking their third eyes,

calcifying
their pineal glands.

Look, Dom has been known

to fall for the occasional
conspiracy theory.

If 5G causes COVID,

then my phone causes COVID.

But my phone
is always on my person,

so how can I escape the COVID?

Fuck, Dom, 5G is just
another G.

It's like 3G or 4G,
it's harmless.

Oh, right. Cool, yeah.

If it's so harmless,
then why can my phone do this?

(ELECTRICAL BUZZ)

(ELECTRICAL BUZZ)

These are all normal
phone things, Dom.

Heaps normal.

(CRASH)

ADRIAN: If you think 2020's
been hard for you,

spare a thought
for conspiracy theorists.

(CLATTER)

Every single conspiracy
that every single neckbeard

feared was going to happen
is currently happening.

It's all part of the plandemic.

It's Bill Gates,
it's George Soros,

it's the 5G,
it's the towers.

It's mass surveillance!

You know, there's a new camera
popping up every five minutes.

Have you seen the new camera
up at Bondi?

There's a new camera
at the Grassy Knoll,

there's one down at Clovelly.

There's... I mean, there's
a camera right there.

- Right there.
- Where?

Are you fucking serious, Dom?

That's the documentary camera.

2020 is like the Voltron of
conspiracy theories,

like one giant mega bot
of conspiracies.

Yeah, cool. Can you stop
saying 'theories',

'cause they're not
conspiracy theories,

they're conspiracy facts.

Oh, my God.

Come on, man,
you're smarter than that.

That's just what they want you
to think.

Who are 'they', Dom?!

New World Order.

Shadow government.

(WHISPERS) Illuminati.

OK, Dom, can we please
just stop this nonsense now?

You have gone way too far.

I'm not saying
that business people

don't congregate and legislate,

but it's not
the goat-killing,

secret baby-eating
Satanic ritual you think it is.

The reality is you have
to find truth within.

And if you can't find it there,

you at least have to find it
in something that's real -

science and medicine.

By God's good grace
I execute judgement on you.

COVID-19, I command you -

leave God's good Earth and
return to the pits of hell

from which you came!

Anyone for some Bondi kingie?

Brother Adrian,

have you let Jesus
into your heart?

Fuck no. No.

What?
I am good.

Oh, well, fun fact - it turns
out that only God is good.

If God was so good,
why is God's logo

for his religion
a dead guy?

Yeah, that's Jesus.

He's the son of God. Um...

The way I think about it
is Jesus is love.

Do you believe that?

Well, I mean, you don't have
to believe it all.

You just take on the bits
that make sense to you.

I find some comfort
in the fact

that all the shit
that's happened this year -

the floods, the hail,
the pandemic,

it's all part of God's plan.

There's no plan, you know.

Like God... Like, God
doesn't exist.

Fuck no, it's alright,

look, God does not exist,
God is, say, existence.

And he's sure as shit

not some beardy white cunt
in the sky

like, meddling with our lives.

You know, he's got
bigger fish to fry.

I think it's dope that you're,
like, searching for the truth

and that, Dom,

but why not try and find it
in someone... real, you know.

I could teach you how to fish,
you know.

(MELANCHOLIC MUSIC PLAYS)

God, if you're not real,

at least show me a sign,
you know,

show me someone real.

TRUMP, ON TV: ..see
the disinfectant

that knocks it out
in a minute.

That was a miracle!
Did you see that?

TRUMP:..injection in, say...
- That was a coincidence, Dom.

Could you... Quiet, brah,
my new teacher is speaking.

TRUMP: And then I see
the disinfectant

that knocks it out
in a minute...

(DOORBELL DINGS)

What is it that couldn't
be handled with a phone call?

Your eviction notice.

Cool. That's-

Dom is losing his grip
on reality.

And it's my duty as his best
and only friend to help him.

With these portable
storage units,

how much air is
in each storage unit?

Yeah, as in oxygen, yeah.

Like, I don't know, could
a person live in there?

No, no, not like
an actual person.

More like a person-sized
monkey or whatever.

No animals. Got it.

Yeah. Oh, have you got wi-fi?

Yeah, I was just wondering
if you've got like an area

that's good for people
who are recently homeless,

like not full-on homeless,

like semi away from all
the other homeless people.

I don't know, in my head
I see like a private room

in a hostel full
of homeless people.

Is breakfast included?

Dom?

Where are you going, Dom?

Yes, Dom, you finally get it!

You don't need
your material possessions.

Just shed yourself of-

I'm not throwing my shit out,
I'm moving out.

ADRIAN: Where?

Into this bin.

Dom, you don't need to move
into a bin.

Just come inside.

Just let me help you, OK?

If you wanna help,
put the modem in the window

so I can tap into the wi-fi.

Yeah.

(DOM PLAYS GUITAR AND SINGS)
♪ 2020 came and fucked my life

♪ And now I'm living in a bin

♪ But what makes me feel
more distressed

♪ Than sleeping in a
wheelie bin full of waste

♪ Is the substantial rubbish
that's within

♪ Why can't you- ♪

Holy shit! Fuck, brah!

(SCREAMS) Help!

I was up all night
beside myself with worry

that Dom was out there
and cold on his own

so I went out to check on him
and took him a tea and...

Dom!

..the recycling
had been collected.

Oh, my God!

And so I have absolutely
no idea where Dom has gone.

I have no idea where he is.

To keep me distracted from Dom,

I have started doing Wim Hof
exposure therapy

and it really takes your mind
off things.

Your body lets you know
when your core is warm enough.

And it indicates
its perfect temperature

with an earthing queef.

(FARTS)

OK...

Yep, we're good.

OK, I'm ready
for the cold bath.

The principle being is
that it's so fucking cold

that you actually have
no capacity

to worry about anything else
at all.

And it's great for
your immunity and blood circ-

Dom, you're back!

Wow! Why don't you jump
into the bath

and have an ice bath,
Dom?

Yeah, I just swam back from
the floating garbage island

in the middle
of the Pacific Ocean

and I'm not in the mood for your
fucking bullshit right now.

DAD: Adrian?

Hey, Dad, I just wanted
to see how you were doing.

I'm doing OK, keeping busy.

We've approved a few new mines,

blown up a few old
Indigenous burial grounds.

Planning whatever comes next.

Did you get the invite?

Spots here are running out.

Is it even safe there?

Look, it couldn't be safer.

Everyone here's been tested
and...

..we've already got
the vaccine.

I don't know, Dad.

Who's there?

The CEOs of the Big 4 banks,

politicians,

the Murdochs, Alan Jones,

Bert Newtown.

Uncle Bert?

(CHUCKLES)

Funny.

He says hi.

And what about Dom?

Adrian, listen...

..this is a very small,
very select group of people

who have attained, protected
and passed on ancient knowledge

since the fall of Atlantis,

and at this pivotal time,
the last thing we need

is your freeloading fucktart
of a friend

who says his beard dandruff
is dried egg.

OK, Dad, it is dried egg.

I swear to Christ.

Dad...

Yes?
(MAN GROANS)

Are you in the illuminati?

What?!

No! (SCOFFS)

Don't be ridiculous, Adrian.

That is absurd.

Look, if you change your mind,

the last train leaves
at the stroke of midnight

on the blood moon,

from the canal by the 13th tee
of Woollahra Golf Course.

(SHEEP BLEAT)

DOM, V/O: It's got to the point

where Adrian's just spending
all day in the garage

and I'm completely on my own.

And I'm going to be living in
bins for the rest of my life

unless I find the motivation
to get creative

to do something new,
to break some ground

and to make something
of my life.

Hey,

my name is Dom.

Um, welcome to my OnlyFans.

That's right, Dirty Dom,

dancing in the place to be.

No, I don't think
I'll fit that in there.

15 bucks
and I'll take off the mask.

Huh?

(ADRIAN GAGS)

(ADRIAN GAGS ON VIDEO)
Motherfuck!

You stole my business idea!

(GAGS)

(SCOFFS) OK. Really, Dom?

I shot that video
three weeks ago

because you were not interested
in collabing with me.

I'm sorry for doing
something real.

Oh, yeah, cool, says
the guy who's meditating.

Dom, I meditate
to stay present.

You meditate to escape
the present!

Meditation is just
some spiritual fancy word

for daydreaming, alright?
You know what's real?

Money is real, man.
We need money!

Good lord.

You've turned into a boring
crisis entrepreneur

leveraging off the collapse of
civilisation for your own ends.

Oh, cool, yeah, 'cause you're
just like a walking cliche

of a rich kid who thinks
he's spiritual

'cause he has cold baths and
doesn't wear fucking shoes.

Yeah, cool. OK, Jeff Bezos.

Well, sorry I don't have
a minted Dad to bail me out

of every problem
I've ever had.

Oh, I'm sorry my dad
is not a fucking nurse!

My dad is a doctor, man.
He's a doctor!

Dom, your dad is
a fucking nurse, OK?

And you should be
really proud of that.

Nurses are more valuable
in this world

than anything you're trying
to fucking strive for.

You know what?

Fuck you, man!

- Fuck me?
- Fuck you!

Dad didn't bail me out,
Dad bailed us out.

Us, Dom!

Every single time that
I accepted money from Dad,

you benefited from it.

Truth is we'd be nowhere
without Dad's generosity.

But you don't know what truth
really looks like, do you?

Because every part
of the person

that you're pretending
to be

is a fucking lie.

Oh, yeah, cool, man.
Run back to the garage

where you can keep
pretending to be a man.

Yeah, cool, you have no idea

what I'm creating in there,
do you?

Or actually what
I fucking sacrifice for you?

How about this? You're not
my best friend anymore.

Who needs a best friend?

DAD'S VOICE: Look,
if you change your mind,

the last train leaves
at the stroke of midnight

on the blood moon,

from the canal by the 13th tee
of Woollahra Golf Course.

(EERIE MUSIC PLAYS)

(SPOOKY VOICE ECHOES)

Look, man, about before...

Now, an egg.

A friend, much like an egg,

is hard on the outside,
but soft on the inside.

Friendship, much like cake,

can benefit from being
a little bit sweeter.

But if you add too much sugar,

your friendship can end up
with type 2 diabetes.

What does that make you feel
when you watch that?

Are you not sad at all that you
had an argument with Adrian?

I'll get a new best friend.

And in friendship sometimes,

one of the partnership,
much like butter,

can be extremely rich,

and then the other person
tends to rely

on the richness of the butter.

So are we wrapped?

(CLEARS THROAT)

Did you know I grew up
on a farm out west?

I'm so sorry.

Yeah.

And we had these two chickens
on the farm.

They were really stupid,

but cute, and they were
always cooped up,

fighting all the time
over silly things.

And one night, a fox got in.

And they were so busy
fighting all the time

they didn't have
the chance to escape.

Well, what happened?

They got ripped in half.

DOM: The chickens?
- Yeah.

DOM: Fuck.

Wait...

Am... Oh. I'm the fox.

GERRY: No.

- Oh. Am I the coop?
- No.

Am I the food?

(SIGHS) D-Dom...

Am I you?

The only thing that
you and Adrian love

more than yourselves
are each other.

But you're just too stupid
to see it.

He's the stupid one.

He's the chickens, isn't he?
Adrian's the chickens.

Do you genuinely have no idea

what he's been doing
in the garage?

(EERIE MUSIC PLAYS)

(WOLF HOWLS)

(SPOOKY VOICE ECHOES)

(RUMBLING)

(TRAIN HORN WHISTLES)

(HORN BEEPS)

Adrian, brah!

Don't go, please!

Dom?

What...

Are you serious, man?

You made this
with your bare hands?

It was going to be a surprise.

My God, this is the fucking
coolest thing I've ever seen.

Are you serious, man?

You recycled
an actual recycling bin!

Man, I'm rubbish.

I'm a rubbish friend.

I'm going to really,
really miss you

if you get
on that illuminati train

and you go meet your illuminati
fuckwit dad

in an illuminati bunker.

I don't want to spend
the end of the world

with anyone else
but you, brah.

Cool, thanks.

I'm so sorry, brah.

Um, I'm sorry too.

Not all your ideas were shit.

So I suppose what
I'm trying to ask you is...

..will you be my best friend...
again?

OK.

- Air hugs?
- Yeah.

Social distancing.

Love you, man.

- You too, brah.
- Alright, let's roll!

Jump on in,
you big dingaling!

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
Hey! Hey, get off me!

You let him go!

MAN: The train must not depart

without the son of the
Grand Director of Ceremonies!

(MEN GRUNT)

(MOBILE BEEPS)

(BONES CRACK)
(MOBILE BEEPS)

Hey, Adrian!

(SCREAMS)

You got a call.

Who is it, brah?

Destiny.

(MEN SCREAM)

(UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS)

Next stop, the future.

(ENGINE REVS)

DOM: So which of my business
ideas did you like?

Was it Cumbucha?

ADRIAN: No, Dom,
Cumbucha is super gross.

But it was a beverage.

And that's how my best friend
Adrian and I

came to set up Bondi Rain -

locally produced, ethically
sourced, non-GMO rainwater.

ADRIAN: And now that we're
through the chaos of 2020,

well, back to business
as yuzh.

Ain't nothing gonna
stop us now.

PROTESTERS: (CHANT) If you
don't like it, leave

take your hate
outta my State.

(GRUNTING AND SHOUTING)

Everything is as it should be.

There you go, Debbie.

1240 dollaridoos.

DOM: Guess you won't be
needing this anymore.

Well done.

But you are 13 days late.

So you've got
another $1280 due tomorrow.

Um, sorry, $1280?

Yeah, the rent's gone up again.

Bye!

Fucking Bondi!