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1
00:00:01,268 --> 00:00:04,418
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:18,385 --> 00:00:22,715
(ASTEROID READING)
3
00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:25,690
I'm your host,
a talking asteroid.
4
00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:27,259
Today's story is called
5
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:29,658
The Legend
of the Burrito Monday
6
00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:31,370
by Mark Kregner.
7
00:00:31,431 --> 00:00:32,931
Book, please.
8
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(GRUNTS)
9
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Luckily, I memorized it.
10
00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:40,810
(CLEARS THROAT)
11
00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:43,705
where the greedy old
billionaire, Elmer Scrooge,
12
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:46,007
is counting all his money.
13
00:00:46,079 --> 00:00:47,349
One billion one,
14
00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:48,724
one billion two.
15
00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:52,692
I'm a billionaire.
(LAUGHS)
16
00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:56,523
Whoa! (GRUNTS, GROANS)
17
00:00:56,591 --> 00:00:59,461
How many times have I told you
to knock before coming in?
18
00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:00,656
Several times.
19
00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:03,728
Anyhow, here you go.
20
00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:08,040
Three billion and one dollars?
21
00:01:08,102 --> 00:01:11,012
I was supposed to be
three billion and two dollars.
22
00:01:11,072 --> 00:01:14,212
But it's just a dollar.
23
00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:16,305
but, to me,
it's one hundred cents.
24
00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:19,277
I'm taking that dollar
from your pay check.
25
00:01:19,347 --> 00:01:21,077
Now finish the rest
of this paper work,
26
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:22,978
and I'll see you
tomorrow morning.
27
00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:25,450
But tomorrow
is a holiday, sir.
28
00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:26,619
Well, what holiday?
29
00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:28,857
Why it's Burrito Monday, sir.
30
00:01:28,923 --> 00:01:30,123
Who thought that one up?
31
00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:33,391
Some sort of cartoon
writer/producer?
32
00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:36,731
Burrito Monday is the day
when everyone buys burritos
33
00:01:36,797 --> 00:01:38,467
because they hate Mondays.
34
00:01:38,533 --> 00:01:41,303
You need to celebrate
Burrito Monday, sir.
35
00:01:41,368 --> 00:01:46,268
Enough of this nonsense!
36
00:01:46,339 --> 00:01:48,239
And don't touch my money.
37
00:01:48,308 --> 00:01:49,978
Burrito Monday, bah.
38
00:01:50,044 --> 00:01:52,214
I've never heard of anything
more ridiculous.
39
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,450
PUNKINHEAD:
♪ Deck the halls
For Burrito Monday
40
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♪ Fa, la, la, la, la, la
La tortillas ♪
41
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Season's eatings, sir.
42
00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:03,719
a decent burrito
on Burrito Monday?
43
00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:06,561
No way. I don't celebrate
made up holidays,
44
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:08,187
and I don't like poor people.
45
00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:09,231
Gross!
46
00:02:09,297 --> 00:02:12,097
But it's not made up.
It's real.
47
00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:15,366
Yeah, it was
on December 9th, 2002.
48
00:02:15,435 --> 00:02:16,665
There was a giant snow storm
49
00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:18,837
in the city
of Chicago, Illinois.
50
00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:20,606
CURT:And no one
had nothing to eat.
51
00:02:20,675 --> 00:02:24,175
It was the worst Monday
in the history of Mondays.
52
00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:25,745
PUNKINHEAD:But, then,
at midnight,
53
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:28,123
a giant burrito done
floated over the city,
54
00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:30,282
and everyone
took a pinch of it.
55
00:02:30,351 --> 00:02:33,421
CURT:And it filled their
bellies with joy.
56
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:37,427
(BOTH MUNCHING)
57
00:02:37,492 --> 00:02:41,802
(LOUDLY) If you two would
get out of my face!
58
00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:43,302
(WIND WHISTLING)
59
00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:46,474
Those two and their
crazy stories.
60
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:49,743
Elmer Scrooge.
61
00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:51,043
Huh? Oh!
62
00:02:51,105 --> 00:02:52,835
Must be my imagination.
63
00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:57,776
I'm all worked up
64
00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,875
(YAWNS)
65
00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:04,947
A good night's sleep will
calm my frazzled nerves.
66
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:08,155
Elmer Scrooge.
67
00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:09,892
Who's there?
Show yourself.
68
00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:13,327
It is I, the ghost
of Yosemite Sam.
69
00:03:13,393 --> 00:03:17,373
Yosemite Sam?
70
00:03:17,432 --> 00:03:20,102
Of course, I did.
I just told you I was a ghost.
71
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:22,167
I don't believe in ghosts.
72
00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:25,065
Oh, yeah?
73
00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:26,968
Boo!
74
00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:28,341
Booga, booga, booga.
75
00:03:28,409 --> 00:03:30,479
All right, all right,
I believe in ghosts.
76
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:31,854
What do you want, Sam?
77
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:33,452
I've come to give you
a warning.
78
00:03:33,514 --> 00:03:36,154
If you don't change your
evil, greedy ways,
79
00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:38,147
you will be doomed
to walk the Earth
80
00:03:38,219 --> 00:03:40,419
covered in cilantro like me.
81
00:03:40,488 --> 00:03:43,718
(GASPS) I hate cilantro.
It tastes like soap.
82
00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:45,891
How do I avoid
this terrible fate?
83
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,860
Tonight, you are gonna
be visited
84
00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:51,328
by the three spirits
of Burrito Monday.
85
00:03:51,399 --> 00:03:54,429
They will show you
what you need to do.
86
00:03:54,501 --> 00:03:55,641
(SCREAMS)
87
00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:57,742
(CRASHES)
88
00:03:57,805 --> 00:03:59,665
He's gone.
Was that real?
89
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,080
Oh, who am I kidding?
90
00:04:01,142 --> 00:04:02,782
There's no such thing
as ghosts.
91
00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:04,513
I'm going back to bed.
92
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,748
(YAWNS)
93
00:04:06,814 --> 00:04:11,254
(SCREAMS, GROANS)
94
00:04:11,318 --> 00:04:14,518
Whose past?
95
00:04:14,589 --> 00:04:18,389
To figure out what turned you
into such a (STUTTERS)
dirty meanie.
96
00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:21,729
I'm not a meanie.
Now, get out of house.
97
00:04:21,796 --> 00:04:24,196
-Ow!
-You need to worry less
about yourself,
98
00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:28,695
and more about others.
Now, come along.
(BLOWS AIR)
99
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,469
Do you recognize this place?
100
00:04:30,537 --> 00:04:32,007
Why, it's my old house.
101
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:34,412
And that's my old pet horse,
Apple Butter.
102
00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:36,575
Oh, we would
eat the days away,
103
00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:39,654
This time, I put extra
black beans in mine
and what not.
104
00:04:39,714 --> 00:04:42,484
I made mine extra big
by using two tortillas.
105
00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:45,150
Elmer, what do you
think you're doing?
106
00:04:45,219 --> 00:04:47,719
Oh, uh, we were just,
uh, doing our chores.
107
00:04:47,789 --> 00:04:50,419
You were eating Mexican food
with that horse again.
108
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:52,491
He's become
too much of a distraction.
109
00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:53,759
He has to go.
110
00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,597
Apple Butter!
111
00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:58,773
Goodbye, Elmer,
I'll never forget you.
112
00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:00,332
Oh, Apple Butter.
113
00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:02,801
My father took him
to the Glue Factory.
114
00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:04,510
He worked
for the rest of his life
115
00:05:04,572 --> 00:05:07,172
as the assistant manager
of the food court.
116
00:05:07,241 --> 00:05:09,081
I never saw him again.
117
00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:12,353
(CRYING LOUDLY)
118
00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:15,582
I'm sorry,
119
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:16,779
Your next stop.
120
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:18,250
-(BLOWS AIR)
-(COUGHS)
121
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:21,519
Hello, Ghost
of Burrito Monday Past.
122
00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:22,458
Where did you go?
123
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:24,893
EERIE VOICE:
Whoo, ooh, ooh.
124
00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:26,088
Is that you, Spirit?
125
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,830
What do you want from me?
126
00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:33,666
ASTEROID:Ooh, scary.
127
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:34,774
(SLURPING)
128
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,735
-(SHATTERS)
-(GRUNTS)
129
00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:40,543
We'll be right back.
130
00:05:40,608 --> 00:05:43,938
Yes, one Meteor
Lover's pizza, please.
131
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:48,021
Welcome back.
132
00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:50,022
by another spooky ghost.
133
00:05:50,084 --> 00:05:52,954
Let's watch, shall we?
134
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:54,150
EERIE VOICE:
Whoo, ooh, ooh.
135
00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:55,291
Is that you, Spirit?
136
00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:57,086
EERIE VOICE:
Whoo, ooh, ooh.
137
00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:59,427
Whoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!
138
00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:02,932
Who are you?
139
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:05,026
I don't wanna talk
about Burrito Monday.
140
00:06:05,099 --> 00:06:07,169
Don't you mean you
don't wanna guac about it?
141
00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:08,974
Well, you don't have to.
(SNAPS FINGERS)
142
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,296
Because we're here.
143
00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:12,911
-Where's here?
-Bugs Cratchit's house.
144
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:16,143
BIGFOOT: Come on, guys.
145
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,510
will be here with a burrito.
146
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:20,308
♪ And a burrito in a pantry ♪
147
00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:23,221
Hey, everyone, it's me,
actor Sean Astin.
148
00:06:23,284 --> 00:06:24,894
The burrito is here!
149
00:06:24,952 --> 00:06:26,752
ALL: Hurray!
150
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:32,833
-Oh, it's kinda small.
-Yeah.
151
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:36,263
Well, all I know
152
00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:39,170
Hey, Sean, why don't you do
some acting before we eat?
153
00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:40,873
Oh, I don't know.
154
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:42,104
Yeah, I wanna eat.
155
00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:43,439
All right,
you talked me into it.
156
00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:46,014
This is from Shakespeare's
Twelfth Night.
157
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:47,443
(CLEARS THROAT)
158
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:50,738
"If music be the food of love,
159
00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:52,911
"play..." (COUGHING)
160
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:55,020
Actor Sean Astin,
are you okay?
161
00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:58,022
I'm just weak from
lack of food. (COUGHS)
162
00:06:58,085 --> 00:07:01,115
Oh, no, actor Sean Astin
looks so ill.
163
00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:03,258
Tell me, Spirit,
what will happen to him?
164
00:07:03,324 --> 00:07:08,104
I see an upcoming movie
165
00:07:08,162 --> 00:07:10,162
-Well, I gotta take off.
-Now?
166
00:07:10,231 --> 00:07:12,101
I'm the Ghost
of Burrito Monday Present.
167
00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:13,996
It's always now.
168
00:07:14,068 --> 00:07:15,938
So long.
Whoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!
169
00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:18,143
Wait, I'll raise Bugs' salary.
170
00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:19,535
I'll make it right.
171
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,636
Elmer.
172
00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:26,049
I'm the Ghost
of Burrito Monday Future.
173
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:29,983
Egads! What sort
of creature are you?
174
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:31,350
I'm a Martian.
175
00:07:31,419 --> 00:07:33,919
I'm here to tell you
about your future.
176
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:37,587
Come with me.
177
00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:41,298
Yeah, can you believe
the old man finally
kicked the bucket?
178
00:07:41,362 --> 00:07:43,862
I thought he'd
never pass away.
179
00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:45,971
What happened
to all his money?
180
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:50,173
No one knows.
181
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:54,237
(ALL LAUGHING)
182
00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:56,908
We have to steal all
this old dead guy stuff
183
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,907
before they auction it off.
184
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,249
Nice work, Claud.
185
00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:01,654
That ought to be
worth something.
186
00:08:01,716 --> 00:08:03,976
-Ooh, I wanna see.
-(GROANING)
187
00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:05,591
-Will you...
-No. Me!
188
00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:09,093
You guys wanna see stars,
I'll show you stars.
189
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:10,486
(BOTH YELPING)
190
00:08:10,558 --> 00:08:12,758
Does no one care
this man is dead?
191
00:08:12,827 --> 00:08:17,827
Enough of this, Spirit!
Take me away from here!
192
00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:20,698
(GRUNTS) This is
Bugs Cratchit's house.
193
00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:23,398
BUGS: So everyone decided
to eat a burrito.
194
00:08:23,471 --> 00:08:28,471
(CRYING) Everyone felt
the warmth of this
burrito miracle.
195
00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:29,681
Sorry, guys.
196
00:08:29,744 --> 00:08:32,184
It's just, usually
actor Sean Astin
197
00:08:32,246 --> 00:08:34,706
tells the story
of Burrito Monday
198
00:08:34,781 --> 00:08:36,681
I miss him so much.
199
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,990
(CRYING LOUDLY)
200
00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:40,992
Where is actor Sean Astin?
201
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:42,894
(GASPS) Is he...
202
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:45,426
No. Worse.
203
00:08:45,493 --> 00:08:49,603
"To be or not to be."
204
00:08:49,664 --> 00:08:52,004
WOMAN: Can I get
a warm up on this coffee?
205
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:53,395
Of course, right away, ma'am.
206
00:08:53,467 --> 00:08:55,437
He's doing dinner theater?
207
00:08:55,503 --> 00:08:57,403
That's a fate
worse than death!
208
00:08:57,471 --> 00:08:59,941
Speaking of which...
209
00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:01,637
Why are we by this open grave?
210
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:04,279
Wait, I know.
It's mine, isn't it?
211
00:09:04,345 --> 00:09:06,175
Well, yeah.
212
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:08,616
Tell me how I can
avoid this fate.
213
00:09:08,683 --> 00:09:12,123
You know how to do it.
Now, get in there!
214
00:09:12,186 --> 00:09:14,516
(SCREAMING)
215
00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:17,888
Black beans and hot sauce?
216
00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:19,628
No, please!
217
00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:22,533
No, please!
218
00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:24,926
I'm alive!
I'm back in my room.
219
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:27,498
Maybe it's not too late.
(GRUNTS)
220
00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:31,808
Hello, boy. Hello, girl.
What day is it today?
221
00:09:31,873 --> 00:09:34,943
Why, it's Burrito Monday,
sir. (GRUNTS)
222
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:39,578
I didn't miss it!
223
00:09:39,646 --> 00:09:42,576
We do, sir.
224
00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:44,250
that was hanging
in the window?
225
00:09:44,318 --> 00:09:46,488
-Why, it's hanging there now.
-(GRUNTS)
226
00:09:46,554 --> 00:09:49,524
ELMER: Go buy it and take it
to Bugs Cratchit's house.
227
00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:51,890
You there!
I want to give you something.
228
00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:55,328
Don't move.
229
00:09:55,396 --> 00:09:57,556
who can't afford
a burrito today.
230
00:09:57,630 --> 00:09:58,530
(LAUGHS)
231
00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:00,169
I think that old man...
232
00:10:00,234 --> 00:10:03,004
...done lost his mind.
233
00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:04,370
I don't understand.
234
00:10:04,438 --> 00:10:06,608
Who would send us
a giant burrito?
235
00:10:06,674 --> 00:10:08,944
I don't know,
but I ain't complaing.
236
00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:10,679
-(KNOCK ON DOOR)
-Come in.
237
00:10:10,745 --> 00:10:13,575
-(THUDS)
-(WIND HOWLING)
238
00:10:13,648 --> 00:10:16,348
I know, sir.
I was just about to leave.
239
00:10:16,417 --> 00:10:17,417
Don't bother.
240
00:10:17,485 --> 00:10:19,045
I'm tired of this behavior.
241
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:21,259
In fact, I'm so tired of it,
242
00:10:21,322 --> 00:10:24,662
I'm going to have to
give you the day off.
243
00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:27,555
What? I did not
see this coming.
244
00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:29,798
Happy Burrito Monday, Bugs.
245
00:10:29,864 --> 00:10:32,104
Not only am I gonna
raise your salary,
246
00:10:32,167 --> 00:10:35,637
I'm also gonna help your
struggling extended family.
247
00:10:35,703 --> 00:10:39,473
It's a Burrito Monday miracle!
248
00:10:39,540 --> 00:10:43,310
No, actor Sean Astin,
you're the miracle.
249
00:10:43,377 --> 00:10:46,147
Burrito, bless us everyone.
250
00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:50,423
ALL: And salsa to you.
251
00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:54,864
Happy Burrito Monday to all,
and to all a good bite.
252
00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:56,421
(CHOMPING)
253
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,996
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
17594
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