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1
00:00:01,268 --> 00:00:04,418
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:22,524
I've been noticing I've been
getting prettier lately.
3
00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:25,739
And I can't stand it!
4
00:00:27,762 --> 00:00:32,762
There was a time
when mirrors used to shatter
when I looked into them.
5
00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:35,543
Now, they only crack.
6
00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:38,242
Time to make
my special ugly potion,
7
00:00:38,306 --> 00:00:41,376
and get back to
my girlishly ugly looks.
8
00:00:41,441 --> 00:00:43,141
All I need is an eye of newt,
9
00:00:43,211 --> 00:00:45,081
the pressed jawbone
of a spider,
10
00:00:45,145 --> 00:00:47,645
and a pig snout.
11
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:50,415
Oh, drat.
I'm out of pig snout.
12
00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:53,615
Where am I gonna find
a pig snout at this hour?
13
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:57,087
(DISTANT HUMMING)
14
00:00:57,157 --> 00:01:00,727
And look at that!
15
00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:03,734
Sometimes, even bad witches
have good luck.
16
00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:05,827
(CACKLING)
17
00:01:05,901 --> 00:01:10,701
Wow. Who knew the houses
of Salem in Massachusetts
could be so amazing?
18
00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:12,771
This is such a great vacation.
19
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:16,010
There is a beautiful tree,
there's a beautiful bird.
20
00:01:16,077 --> 00:01:19,807
And there's a... (STUTTERING)
21
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,550
Good day, Mr. Pig.
22
00:01:21,616 --> 00:01:25,246
I noticed you were enjoying
the sights of Salem.
23
00:01:25,318 --> 00:01:27,058
I'm a long time resident.
24
00:01:27,122 --> 00:01:31,462
Would you like to see inside
of one of these beautiful,
historic homes?
25
00:01:31,526 --> 00:01:34,556
(GASPS, SQUEALS)
Be still, my beating heart!
26
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:36,728
Oh, you're so cute.
27
00:01:36,797 --> 00:01:39,397
I can just cut your nose off.
28
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,136
Come with me.
29
00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:46,202
I'm getting so excited
I'm getting
the Massachu-sweats.
30
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:50,238
Here we are.
My humble abode.
31
00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:52,751
This belonged to
my great-grandmother.
32
00:01:52,814 --> 00:01:56,584
She was convicted
in the original
Salem witch trials.
33
00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:58,320
She had a bad lawyer.
34
00:01:58,385 --> 00:01:59,385
Have a seat.
35
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,263
Wow, I gotta get a picture!
36
00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:04,122
High angle, low angle,
extreme close-up.
37
00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:06,430
I said sit down!
38
00:02:06,493 --> 00:02:08,703
While I make you some tea.
39
00:02:08,763 --> 00:02:12,873
A pinch of cinnamon,
a speech from
a political windbag,
40
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:15,903
and a handful of this old
calculus homework...
41
00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:20,340
And he'll be asleep
in no time.
42
00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:24,007
Here's your tea, darling.
43
00:02:24,078 --> 00:02:26,648
(SIPS) Ouch!
This is too hot to handle.
44
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I better cool it off.
45
00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:31,618
(BLOWING)
46
00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:32,885
(YELPS)
47
00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:36,463
Holy smokes!
Is that a harpsichord?
48
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:40,704
My mother always used to play
the harpsichord
right before bed time.
49
00:02:40,762 --> 00:02:44,832
♪ Sparkle sparkle little pig
If I fall asleep
and dance a jig
50
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:47,198
♪ Close your eyes
and dream so deep
51
00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:49,168
♪ Counting pigs
instead of sheep
52
00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:50,796
♪ Dream of floating
pillow tops
53
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:53,271
♪ Rolling around
in piles of slop
54
00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:55,741
♪ Tomorrow morning
all brand-new
55
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♪ So much for a pig to do
56
00:02:58,179 --> 00:03:01,049
♪ Sunshine Sunshine
out of bed
57
00:03:01,115 --> 00:03:05,645
♪ Rise and shine
you sleepy head ♪
58
00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:07,489
Holy smokes!
An old-time wig shop.
59
00:03:07,554 --> 00:03:11,364
I have to check that out!
60
00:03:11,424 --> 00:03:12,434
(EXCLAIMS)
61
00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:14,532
Wow, look at all these wigs!
62
00:03:14,594 --> 00:03:17,064
Can it get any more exciting?
63
00:03:17,131 --> 00:03:18,671
I can be anyone I want.
64
00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:20,072
Let them eat cake.
65
00:03:20,134 --> 00:03:23,284
I'll take two pieces.
66
00:03:25,974 --> 00:03:30,114
These spiders will put
a stop to that pig's
follicle follies.
67
00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:35,127
And then that snout
will be mine.
68
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:37,646
(STUTTERING) Look at me, ma!
69
00:03:37,719 --> 00:03:40,819
I'm the lead guitarist
working out
on a rock 'n roll band.
70
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,888
I'm a real head-banger.
71
00:03:42,957 --> 00:03:45,757
Where did all these little
spiders come from?
72
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:47,456
They look so hungry.
73
00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:50,928
I better get them back outside
so they can catch some flies.
74
00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:52,398
(LAUGHING)
75
00:03:52,467 --> 00:03:56,337
PORKY: There you go,
baby spiders.
Be free!
76
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:58,543
(SCREAMING)
77
00:03:58,605 --> 00:04:00,305
How cool.
78
00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:02,744
The gift shop had aSpells
of the Salem Witches book.
79
00:04:02,811 --> 00:04:06,881
Now I can cast magical spells
like the real Salem witches.
80
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,347
Let's try a couple out.
81
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:09,775
Iccus Frogus!
82
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:12,890
What about...
Thomas Fickus Ickus!
83
00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:14,093
(DROOLING)
84
00:04:14,155 --> 00:04:16,055
Ooh, what about this one?
85
00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:18,633
Pantelium Helium!
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
86
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:19,932
That's a weird sounding one.
87
00:04:19,994 --> 00:04:21,564
PORKY: Oh, here's
another good one.
88
00:04:21,628 --> 00:04:25,568
Rockus Blockus.
89
00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:27,632
(SNARLING)
90
00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:28,801
Ooh!
(SNARLING)
91
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:30,569
Bearius Hairius!
92
00:04:30,637 --> 00:04:32,637
Ooh!
(EXCLAIMS)
93
00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:35,676
Crossius Crossus!
94
00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:38,982
(SCREAMING) A mouse!
95
00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:40,946
(SCREAMS) A mouse!
96
00:04:41,015 --> 00:04:43,475
That book doesn't work anyway.
97
00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:47,290
Restorum Cantorum!
98
00:04:47,354 --> 00:04:48,364
(WHISTLES)
99
00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:50,591
Come on, broom!
100
00:04:50,658 --> 00:04:53,788
Time to grab that pig's
snout and be done with this.
101
00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:56,161
(CACKLING)
102
00:04:56,230 --> 00:04:57,900
An old colonial stable.
103
00:04:57,966 --> 00:05:01,466
Come here, Mr. Horse.
Let me put your shoe on
for you.
104
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:03,065
(WHINNYING)
105
00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:05,607
I have you now, my piggy.
106
00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:07,312
(CACKLING)
107
00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:10,035
And now, to nail in the shoe.
108
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:12,950
(NEIGHING LOUDLY)
109
00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:14,583
(GROANING)
110
00:05:14,649 --> 00:05:17,319
Say, you look like you got
kicked in the head by a horse.
111
00:05:17,384 --> 00:05:18,624
I do?
112
00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:21,115
Oh, my! You're right!
113
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:23,688
In fact, I'm uglier than ever!
114
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:24,757
(CRACKING)
115
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,425
Oh, thank you, pig.
116
00:05:26,494 --> 00:05:29,064
I won't be needing to
cut off your snout.
117
00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:31,869
What? You were gonna
cut off my snout?
118
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:34,102
You are a terrible person.
119
00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:36,638
Don't hate me because
I'm ugly, dearie.
120
00:05:36,703 --> 00:05:38,203
(LAUGHING)
121
00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:46,181
Come, Marc Anthony.
122
00:05:46,247 --> 00:05:48,017
Now, my vicious guard dog,
123
00:05:48,083 --> 00:05:52,223
you will protect my home
while I slumber until
the night returns.
124
00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:55,115
(BARKING)
125
00:05:55,189 --> 00:05:57,089
Yes, yes. That's it.
126
00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:58,857
Very frightening.
127
00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:00,456
Watch out for vampire hunters,
128
00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:03,128
grave robbers
and garlic salesmen.
129
00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:06,667
They're especially active
around the dinner hour.
130
00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:07,973
(SNARLING)
131
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,965
There, there.
That's a good dog.
132
00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:14,708
Remember.
Nothing gets in this door.
133
00:06:14,776 --> 00:06:17,836
And if it does,
you know the consequences.
134
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:19,351
(SNARLING)
135
00:06:19,412 --> 00:06:20,812
(WHIMPERS)
136
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:24,991
(COUNT BLOODCOUNT LAUGHING)
137
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:28,652
(MARCHING DRUMS PLAYING)
138
00:06:32,358 --> 00:06:34,588
(BARKING)
139
00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:38,731
(WHIMPERING)
140
00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:39,799
(MEOWS)
141
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:42,067
(GASPS)
142
00:06:42,136 --> 00:06:45,036
-(PURRING)
-(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)
143
00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:47,605
(CHUCKLES)
144
00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:49,024
(PURRING)
145
00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:09,845
(GASPS)
146
00:07:14,168 --> 00:07:15,968
(GASPS)
147
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:18,736
(SNARLING)
148
00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:19,855
(SIGHS)
149
00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:30,421
(EXCLAIMS)
150
00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:33,693
Phew!
151
00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,404
(CAT MEOWS)
152
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:42,578
(HOWLS)
153
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:49,004
What is going on in here?
154
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:51,709
What's all this racket?
155
00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:54,712
(EXCLAIMS)
156
00:07:54,776 --> 00:07:57,106
Yes. Good guarding,
Marc Anthony.
157
00:07:57,177 --> 00:08:01,117
But do it more quietly.
I'm trying to sleep.
158
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:03,821
And someone left
the iron maiden open again.
159
00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:06,134
It's dangerous.
160
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,363
(HOWLING SADLY)
161
00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:14,034
(CRYING)
162
00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:18,204
(MEOWS)
163
00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:19,765
(EXCLAIMS)
164
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,174
(GRUNTING)
165
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:40,269
(GASPS)
166
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:50,126
(GASPS)
167
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:54,697
(ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING)
168
00:08:54,769 --> 00:08:58,309
What is the meaning of this
intrusion upon my slumber?
169
00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:02,642
-(CAT MEOWS)
-What was that?
170
00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:07,710
Marc Anthony!
What are you doing inside?
171
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:10,919
You can do your chores later.
172
00:09:10,985 --> 00:09:13,785
Right now, you should be
outside guarding the castle.
173
00:09:13,855 --> 00:09:17,715
And if I have to get out
of this coffin one more
time today,
174
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,091
you'll be sorry.
175
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:22,309
(ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING)
176
00:09:27,368 --> 00:09:30,738
(CAT MEOWS)
177
00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:31,854
(GASPS)
178
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:39,906
(CAT MEOWS)
179
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:41,880
(COUNT BLOODCOUNT GROWLING)
180
00:09:41,948 --> 00:09:45,998
I warned you, Marc Anthony!
181
00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:48,424
(SNARLING)
182
00:09:48,489 --> 00:09:50,759
Wait. What have you got there?
183
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:52,464
Let me see it.
184
00:09:52,526 --> 00:09:54,956
-Mmm-mmm, mmm-mmm.
-I said...
185
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:56,228
Let me see it!
186
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:59,196
(WHIMPERING)
187
00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:00,866
-A kitten?
-(MEOWS)
188
00:10:00,935 --> 00:10:04,035
In my house?
It will ruin
all of my furniture
189
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,044
with its tiny little claws!
190
00:10:06,107 --> 00:10:09,837
I command you to destroy
that vile creature
this instant.
191
00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:10,980
Mmm-mmm.
192
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:13,014
What? If you don't destroy it,
193
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:14,780
then I will!
194
00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:16,648
(SNARLING)
195
00:10:16,716 --> 00:10:19,186
(MEOWS)
196
00:10:19,253 --> 00:10:22,703
(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
197
00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:30,234
(GROWLING)
198
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:33,727
(GRUNTS)
199
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,440
(GROWLING)
200
00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:38,944
COUNT BLOODCOUNT:
Now, now. Be a good dog
and listen to your master.
201
00:10:39,007 --> 00:10:42,707
-(BARKING)
-(COUNT BLOODCOUNT YELLING)
Bad dog. No stop!
202
00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:44,126
(SCREAMS)
203
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,482
(MEOWS)
204
00:10:50,551 --> 00:10:52,721
(YELLING AND SHUDDERING)
205
00:10:52,787 --> 00:10:55,757
Tiny little claws.
Nice kitty.
206
00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:57,223
-(MEOWS)
-(COUNT BLOODCOUNT GROANS)
207
00:10:57,291 --> 00:11:02,201
-(CHUCKLES)
-COUNT: I'm not a toy!
208
00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:04,332
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
13970
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