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00:00:01,234 --> 00:00:04,384
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
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00:00:18,486 --> 00:00:20,246
NARRATOR:Welcome
to Elmer Fudd's
literary classics.
3
00:00:20,321 --> 00:00:22,491
Hello, I'm your host,
Elmer Fudd.
4
00:00:22,557 --> 00:00:25,457
Today's story is
about a young orphan
named CinderPorker
5
00:00:25,527 --> 00:00:28,357
ELMER:who was adopted by
a family of rich cats.
6
00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:31,099
CinderPorker, what
do you think
you're doing?
7
00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:33,065
(STAMMERING)
Hello, Stepfather.
8
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:36,404
I was just scrubbing
all the spilled cream
off the floor.
9
00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:38,410
I spilled it
there on
purpose.
10
00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:40,972
It makes it
easier to drink.
11
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,341
(SLURPING)
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00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:44,279
Knock it off.
13
00:00:44,344 --> 00:00:45,714
You're
aristocats.
14
00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:47,579
You don't
drink cream
off the ground.
15
00:00:47,649 --> 00:00:50,319
You drink it from
a cup with your
pinky extended.
16
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:51,654
Like this.
17
00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:53,049
(SPLASHES)
18
00:00:53,119 --> 00:00:54,249
(SLURPING)
19
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:55,921
Numskulls.
20
00:00:55,990 --> 00:00:58,130
And you, you're
supposed to be
cleaning the toilets
21
00:00:58,192 --> 00:01:01,002
and washing
clogged sweat
socks.
22
00:01:01,062 --> 00:01:03,962
And picking
the fleas
off my butt.
23
00:01:04,030 --> 00:01:05,170
Here.
24
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,332
Ugh, okay.
25
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,840
I will
work faster.
26
00:01:07,902 --> 00:01:09,442
Well,
see that
you do.
27
00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:12,044
And in the
meantime, it's
time for us
28
00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:14,176
to take
our afternoon
snoo-tea break.
29
00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:16,582
Who wants
a spicy tuna
roll, huh?
30
00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:18,113
I do, I do,
I do!
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00:01:18,178 --> 00:01:19,278
(WHOOSHES)
32
00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:22,276
(SIGHS GRIMLY)
33
00:01:22,349 --> 00:01:23,979
Oh, well, Tree.
34
00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:26,891
You're the only one
who doesn't have
chores for me to do.
35
00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:29,024
Well, actually,
my upper branches
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00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:30,690
could use
a little trimming.
37
00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,028
Even you?
38
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,032
(LAUGHING)
39
00:01:33,094 --> 00:01:35,064
-I'm just kidding.
-(LAUGHING)
40
00:01:35,129 --> 00:01:37,769
Oh, Tree.
You're my
best friend.
41
00:01:37,831 --> 00:01:39,731
I'll always
be your
best friend.
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00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,140
I have
no choice.
43
00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:43,202
I'm rooted
to the ground.
44
00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:44,640
Stuck here.
45
00:01:44,706 --> 00:01:47,306
♪ Oh, tree
You're my very
best friend
46
00:01:47,375 --> 00:01:50,735
♪ I know you'll
always stick with me
Till the end
47
00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:53,481
♪ You turn my tears
Into a chuckle
48
00:01:53,548 --> 00:01:56,448
♪ I sit on your branches
And they don't bite
49
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:59,517
♪ 'Cause you got me
Cooking with gas
50
00:01:59,587 --> 00:02:02,287
♪ Hey, what's up
With this rash? ♪
51
00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:05,256
How many times do
I have to tell you
I'm a poison oak?
52
00:02:05,326 --> 00:02:06,726
-(CINDERPORKER SCREAMS)
-(THUDS)
53
00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:09,334
Lotion!
I need lotion!
54
00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:10,696
(SCREAMING)
55
00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:13,134
Poison oak.
Never kept it
a secret.
56
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,440
ELMER:Meanwhile,
at the royal palace,
57
00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:19,343
King Thes was trying to
find his daughter, Petunia,
a husband.
58
00:02:19,407 --> 00:02:23,007
My daughter, three
suitors have come
to the kingdom
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00:02:23,077 --> 00:02:25,147
seeking
your hand
in marriage.
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00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:28,452
Are you ready to hear
their declarations
of love?
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00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:31,116
I told you
I don't wanna
meet anybody.
62
00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:32,645
That's
the spirit!
63
00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:34,889
Bring in
the first
suitor.
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00:02:34,955 --> 00:02:36,955
I say,
I say,
Petunia.
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00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:39,934
Shall I compare
thee to a summer's
day?
66
00:02:39,994 --> 00:02:41,904
Of course,
now that I
think about it,
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00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:44,532
on a summer's day,
I get kind of sweaty.
68
00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:45,698
(SNIFFS)
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00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:46,866
(RETCHING)
70
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:49,574
Oh, mercy me,
I stink!
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00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:51,366
FOGHORN: It smells
like garlic.
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00:02:51,438 --> 00:02:52,838
(FOGHORN SNIFFS)
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00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:55,506
FOGHORN: Reminds
me of mommy's
minestrone.
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00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:58,345
Next!
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00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:01,852
♪ Petunia!
I want to marry you!
76
00:03:01,916 --> 00:03:05,686
♪ I'm kinda out of options
So I guess you'll do ♪
77
00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:07,722
(SCREAMING)
78
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:09,888
Next.
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00:03:09,958 --> 00:03:14,198
Petunia, if you marry
me, you won't have to
do any housework,
80
00:03:14,261 --> 00:03:17,161
because I built
the Immacubot 9000.
81
00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:18,501
Allow me to
demonstrate.
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00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:19,995
(YELPS)
83
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:21,537
(EXCLAIMING IN PAIN)
84
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:24,072
(EXCLAIMING IN AGONY)
85
00:03:24,138 --> 00:03:26,838
I'd go with the
guy who smells
like garlic.
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00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,677
I'm not
marrying
any of them.
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00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:30,952
First off,
they're all
goofballs.
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00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:34,851
Second, they
can't keep up
with me.
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00:03:34,916 --> 00:03:37,886
♪ I love to
eat peanut butter
with my hands
90
00:03:37,952 --> 00:03:40,622
♪ I play guitar
In my one-man band
91
00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:43,318
♪ I ride down Everest
on just one ski
92
00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:45,561
♪ But I drive
my sports car at 103
93
00:03:45,627 --> 00:03:48,427
♪ You can't keep up with me
♪ We can't keep up with she
94
00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:51,496
♪ You can't keep up with me
♪ We can't keep up with she
95
00:03:51,566 --> 00:03:54,236
♪ I can ace my calculus
With my feet
96
00:03:54,302 --> 00:03:56,642
♪ And do the booty wiggle
to the disco beat
97
00:03:56,704 --> 00:03:59,644
♪ So if a man wants me
to wear his ring
98
00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:01,977
♪ He's gotta be a dude
who does all these things
99
00:04:02,043 --> 00:04:04,853
♪ He's gotta keep up with me
♪ He's gotta keep up with she
100
00:04:04,913 --> 00:04:07,953
♪ He's gotta keep up with me
♪ He's gotta keep up with she
101
00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:13,015
♪ He's gotta keep up with me
102
00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:19,255
♪ Because I'm
super savvy ♪
103
00:04:19,494 --> 00:04:22,004
Well, I don't
care what
she wants,
104
00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:26,172
I'm going to find
her a husband if
it kills me.
105
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:27,343
(EXCLAIMING EXCITEDLY)
106
00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:30,241
Daddy, daddy!
Look at this!
107
00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:34,184
"Princess Petunia
is single and looking
to mingle.
108
00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:36,581
"All eligible
bachelors in
the kingdom
109
00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:38,884
"are invited
to the palace
at 8:00 p.m."
110
00:04:38,947 --> 00:04:42,117
That means the
princess is looking
for a prince!
111
00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:43,722
Ooh!
112
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,854
I want
to be
a prince!
113
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:47,049
(MEWLING)
114
00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:49,061
No, I want
to be
a prince!
115
00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:50,993
-(BOTH SNARLING)
-Knock it off!
116
00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:52,928
Neither of you
are gonna be
a prince
117
00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:55,803
if you don't
clean up
your act.
118
00:04:55,864 --> 00:04:59,034
Porky, I need you
to clean up these two
for the ball.
119
00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:00,199
(FLEAS BUZZING)
120
00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:05,107
I'll see
what I
can do.
121
00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:07,312
Well, look
at you two.
122
00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:09,105
You look
stupendous!
123
00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:12,176
Let's get to that
ball before I marry
you myself.
124
00:05:12,246 --> 00:05:14,716
Hold up. Where
do you think
you're going?
125
00:05:14,781 --> 00:05:16,081
To the ball.
126
00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:18,190
You? Go to
the ball?
127
00:05:18,252 --> 00:05:20,392
(LAUGHING)
That's rich.
128
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:22,724
Yeah, you
can't go to
the ball.
129
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:25,860
You're covered
with garbage
and fish guts.
130
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:28,496
What? No I'm not!
131
00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:29,862
You are now!
132
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,330
(LAUGHING)
133
00:05:31,399 --> 00:05:34,939
Come on, boys.
We've got a
princess to woo.
134
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:35,752
Yeah.
135
00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:42,738
Ugh, I guess
I'll never go
to the ball.
136
00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:44,279
Welcome to
my world.
137
00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:46,175
I can't
go anywhere.
138
00:05:46,247 --> 00:05:48,117
DAFFY: What a
couple of sad sacks.
139
00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:49,482
Who said that?
140
00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:51,520
I did. I'm
your fairy
duck-mother.
141
00:05:51,586 --> 00:05:54,116
I'm here to
help you go
to the ball.
142
00:05:54,188 --> 00:05:55,488
Can I
go too?
143
00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:58,216
I'm his fairy
duck-mother.
Not yours.
144
00:05:58,291 --> 00:05:59,531
Oh, nuts.
145
00:05:59,594 --> 00:06:01,964
First, I'll prepare
your door-to-door
transport
146
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,129
by turning
those mice
into horses,
147
00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:07,898
and that rutabaga
into a carriage.
148
00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:09,668
(THUDS)
149
00:06:09,736 --> 00:06:11,406
But these
are whales!
150
00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:14,312
Okay, okay. Maybe
we should work
on your outfit first.
151
00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:16,435
Orca bros,
let's do this.
152
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:20,050
-Five, six, seven, eight.
-(PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)
153
00:06:20,114 --> 00:06:21,954
♪ Make him pretty
Make him spiffy
154
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,345
♪ And let's do it in a jiffy
155
00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:24,647
♪ First we wash him
head to toe
156
00:06:24,719 --> 00:06:26,889
♪ Give his skin
a golden glow
157
00:06:26,955 --> 00:06:30,085
♪ Give him fancy underpants
Wear this perfume
It's from France
158
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:31,727
♪ Make him fit
the finest fabric
159
00:06:31,793 --> 00:06:34,403
♪ Let's make sure
that it's a classic
160
00:06:34,463 --> 00:06:37,673
♪ Give his face
a sparkling smile
And his head a cool hairstyle
161
00:06:37,732 --> 00:06:41,172
♪ Add a pair of platform shoes
And throw in a fish or two
162
00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:43,895
♪ Make him pretty
Make him spiffy
163
00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:46,511
♪ In a jiffy ♪
164
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,043
(music stops)
165
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:50,608
Have a great time!
166
00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:52,747
(WHALES GROANING)
167
00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:56,823
(CREAKING)
168
00:06:56,885 --> 00:07:01,885
Yeah, you know what?
I'm just gonna pop you
in a sports car.
169
00:07:02,455 --> 00:07:04,085
(ENGINE REVVING)
170
00:07:04,158 --> 00:07:06,428
(TIRES SCREECHING)
171
00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:07,663
Well, well, well,
172
00:07:07,729 --> 00:07:09,859
look at all
these potential
princes.
173
00:07:09,931 --> 00:07:12,671
Father, I told
you I'm not
interested.
174
00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:13,973
Hi, toots.
175
00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:15,904
You're coming
with me.
176
00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:18,769
(EXCLAIMS)
177
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:23,109
(WAILS)
178
00:07:23,177 --> 00:07:26,507
(YELLS)
179
00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:28,520
(CRASHING)
180
00:07:28,583 --> 00:07:31,493
This is exactly why
I don't need a man--
181
00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:33,352
-Hey!
-Oh, I'm sorry.
182
00:07:33,421 --> 00:07:36,891
I get carried away
sometimes when I'm
disco dancing.
183
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,657
Did you say
disco dancing?
184
00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:41,496
-Of course.
-Would you like to dance?
185
00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:44,502
-(CHUCKLING) Sure.
-(DISCO MUSIC PLAYING)
186
00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:46,425
Sorry if my hands
are sticky,
187
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,500
I eat peanut
butter out of
a jar.
188
00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:49,938
So do I!
189
00:07:50,004 --> 00:07:54,074
How did you get
to be such a great
disco dancer?
190
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:55,681
I just use
basic calculus.
191
00:07:55,742 --> 00:07:57,012
You like
calculus?
192
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:58,247
I love
calculus.
193
00:07:58,312 --> 00:07:59,982
My best friend
is an oak tree.
194
00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:01,317
He checks
my work.
195
00:08:01,382 --> 00:08:05,592
Oak tree?
My best friend
is a rock.
196
00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:07,923
You're the most
incredible man
I've ever met.
197
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,418
Wait right here,
198
00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:11,260
I'm going to
introduce you
to my father.
199
00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:13,325
Hey, where did
my cool hairdo go?
200
00:08:13,394 --> 00:08:16,264
DAFFY: Oh,
I forgot to
tell you.
201
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:19,230
The spell only
lasts like ten
minutes.
202
00:08:19,300 --> 00:08:21,140
Who casts
a ten-minute
spell?
203
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:22,201
(SQUEALS)
204
00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:23,469
Maybe get
out of here
205
00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:25,137
before your magic
underwear goes poof.
206
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:26,605
(SQUEALING)
207
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:27,843
What? But...
208
00:08:27,909 --> 00:08:29,309
Where is that
mysterious
handsome prince
209
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:30,676
who was
standing here?
210
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:32,514
He had
to jet.
211
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:33,749
Taquito?
212
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:35,024
(PANTING)
213
00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:36,652
(YELLS)
214
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:39,347
PETUNIA: Wait!
We have so much
in common!
215
00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:43,890
I have a whole
book of calculus
we can do.
216
00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:45,027
(THUDS)
217
00:08:45,092 --> 00:08:46,162
(SQUEAKING)
218
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:47,756
(PANTING)
219
00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:48,828
(POOFS)
220
00:08:48,895 --> 00:08:50,895
(SQUEALING)
221
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:54,544
Mysterious
prince, wait!
222
00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:56,242
I will only
marry the man
223
00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:59,073
who fits in
this goldfish
platform shoe.
224
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:00,469
I know
love is blind,
225
00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:03,081
but did he have
to have such
bad taste?
226
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:04,913
We must
find him!
227
00:09:04,979 --> 00:09:07,519
ELMER:So, the princess
and her father
228
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:09,821
went all around
the countryside
229
00:09:09,884 --> 00:09:12,494
looking for whoever
would fit into the shoe.
230
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:14,253
After months of searching,
231
00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:16,891
they came to the final house,
232
00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:20,287
CinderPorker's house.
233
00:09:20,361 --> 00:09:21,701
(STRAINING)
234
00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:23,931
(TWANGING)
235
00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:25,097
(MEOWS)
236
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:26,795
Don't eat
the shoe.
237
00:09:26,867 --> 00:09:29,197
Try on
the shoe.
238
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:32,909
(THUMPING)
239
00:09:32,974 --> 00:09:35,544
I guess I'll
never find my
Prince Charming.
240
00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:37,339
Hey, I haven't
tried it on yet.
241
00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:39,351
Porky, it's not
gonna fit you.
242
00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:44,213
You're just
a lowly
servant pig.
243
00:09:46,321 --> 00:09:49,191
You're the man
I fell in love with
on the dance floor.
244
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:52,326
Porky, will you
marry me?
245
00:09:52,393 --> 00:09:53,993
But, Petunia, I...
246
00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:56,231
(STAMMERING)
247
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:59,596
(CONTINUES TO STAMMER)
248
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:10,576
All right,
let's move
this along.
249
00:10:10,645 --> 00:10:15,045
♪ Petunia
You're my very best friend
250
00:10:15,116 --> 00:10:19,486
♪ I know you'll always
stick with me till the end
251
00:10:19,554 --> 00:10:24,554
♪ You're handsome and true
With you the world
seems so brand-new
252
00:10:24,892 --> 00:10:29,892
♪ Because of you
I am now free
253
00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:36,699
♪ Oh let's get married
by this tree ♪
254
00:10:37,438 --> 00:10:40,568
I now pronounce you
pig and male pig.
255
00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:44,381
You may kiss
the groom.
256
00:10:44,445 --> 00:10:45,505
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
257
00:10:45,579 --> 00:10:47,379
Still a
poison oak.
258
00:10:47,448 --> 00:10:50,418
-Lotion!
-I need lotion!
259
00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:53,824
ELMER: And so they lived
scratchily ever after.
260
00:10:53,888 --> 00:10:57,158
Because long stories
are like taquitos.
261
00:10:57,224 --> 00:10:59,764
The cheesier the better.
262
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,856
(CHUCKLING)
263
00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:03,999
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
19051
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