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(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
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(SERENE MUSIC PLAYING)
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(INAUDIBLE)
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(POPPING)
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(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
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(SCREECHING)
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(POPS)
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(POPPING)
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(POPPING)
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(POPS)
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(THUDDING)
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(SCREECHING)
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NARRATOR:The year was 1776.
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America was a tiny colony
of the mighty British Empire.
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But beneath the soil
of these placid farms,
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the seeds of revolution
were already being sown.
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What? You want how much
for carrot-infused tea?
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What, what, cheerio,
read the sign.
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It's one pound six pence.
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Yeah, but yesterday, it was
only one pound three pence.
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What, what, it's not my
fault, sir, cheerio,
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it's the British Empire,
what, what.
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They tax the tea.
Cheerio, what, what.
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Hey, you in the boat,
I got a complaint.
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Hark, I hear the sound
of dissent to be stifled.
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Whoa!
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(THUDDING AND GROANING)
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What is your complaint?
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You're taxing the tea
and I don't like it.
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All subjects
of the British Empire
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must render
the requisite tea tax.
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Well, I'm not paying it.
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Then you're gonna be in trouble.
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I ain't afraid of you.
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(YELPS) Now I'm afraid of you.
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(GROANS)
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Not only do you have
to pay the tea tax,
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but also, the income tax,
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the property tax, the air tax,
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the water tax, the sin tax,
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finally, the boot tax.
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Uh, what's the boot tax?
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-This.
-(SCREAMS)
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(CRASHES)
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Hut, two, three, four,
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left shoulder, arms,
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right shoulder, arms,
left face, right face.
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-Hut, two, three, four.
-Huh?
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Halt, who goes there?
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Private first class, Bugs Bunny,
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second fellow
of the third battalion,
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set forth on the fifth day
of the six month
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because seven, eight, nine.
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Ten, hut.
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Well, if you're on duty,
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then you'll wait
for morning drills.
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Attention!
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Sir, yes, sir.
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Left shoulder,
arms, left face.
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(GRUNTS) Ooh, you hit me
right in the face.
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-Right face.
-Ow!
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I didn't mean right face.
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I meant left face!
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Ow! Oh, forget it.
Drills are over.
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I have to show you
to your duties.
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I already did my duty.
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I put it in that
bucket over there.
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(BUZZING)
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Oh, that's not a bucket,
that's my lunch pail.
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Just follow me.
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First task will be to take
these drums of ammunition
to the armory.
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Ooh, I love the drums.
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♪ Honey dew... ♪
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Stop it, that's gunpowder,
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that's very explosive.
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Oops! My bad.
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Now pick it up
and carry it into the armory.
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Okay, now, let's see.
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Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.
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Nah, it's too heavy.
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Oh, I'll do it.
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(GRUNTING)
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Let me help you there.
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There you go, bub.
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Now, we're responsible for
protecting the cannonballs,
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muskets, these fireworks,
and finally, the gunpowder.
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Hey, Doc, that barrel
of gunpowder you were carrying
sprung a leak.
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Where? It's too dark,
I can't see anything.
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Don't worry, I got a lantern.
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Oops! I dropped it.
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What? Let em out of here!
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Is this what you wanted?
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(EXPLOSION)
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(GROANS)
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There you are.
The King just arrived!
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He can't see you like this.
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I'll get you some fresh clothes.
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Now, let's see what we got.
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Red coat, red coat, red coat.
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Uh, gee, got a lot
of variety here.
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Will you just get me
some clothes?
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Soldier, where is your uniform?
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Your Majesty.
(KISSING)
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Stop groveling
and take me to your ship.
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Welcome aboard, Your Majesty.
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I pride myself in keeping
the finest, most immaculate
ship in the fleet.
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What a dump!
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Excuse me, sir?
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I said,
this place is a dump!
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Now, scrub that deck.
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Polish that wheel.
Dance me a jig.
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Tickle this chicken.
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-(SCREAMS)
-Now go scrub that cannon.
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Cannons don't get dirty
on the outside.
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Sir, yes, sir.
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Fire in the hole.
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(SCREAMS)
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(GROANING)
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Well done, lad.
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That's the spirit
of the Empire in action.
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I think you earned
yourself a knighthood.
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Kneel before your King.
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(GROANING)
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Of course, to knight you,
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I will employ
the royal two-by-four.
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My sword
is at the dry cleaners.
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I dub thee Sir Elmer
of the Lumpy Skull.
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(GROANING)
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And one to grow on.
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-(GROANS)
-That ought to do it.
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Congratulations, Sir Elmer,
you're now a knight.
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Hey, you're the king,
you're the rabbit,
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And you're cute.
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(KISSES)
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Oh, I'm gonna
throw you off this ship!
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(GROANING)
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(GROWLS)
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-Yoo-hoo.
-Huh?
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Here, here,
get rid of these.
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We got to find the rabbit.
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Dump the tea overboard!
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No, wait.
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It's not what you think.
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I'm in the British Army.
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Stop in the name of the...
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(SCREAMING)
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NARRATOR:And that's how
the revolutionary war
got started.
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Wait a minute,
that's not how it happened.
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Eh, so maybe
it wasn't exactly accurate,
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but it sure was
a heck of a tea party.
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(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
10187
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