All language subtitles for Home Improvement -Season 8- E16

Okay, girls, gotta go to work. I'm late.

Where are you working today, Daddy?

Actually, today I'm working
for a governmental contractor

under the auspices of
the Michigan Department of Highways.

- Wow.
- Yeah.

I'm fixing potholes.

- Well, have fun. Bye-bye, Marty.
- Bye.

Okay, girls, we gotta get busy.
You know what day Sunday is.

- Valentine's Day.
- Yup.

And I bought cards for all your friends.

I always loved Valentine's Day.

Except for when I was in sixth grade
and I got braces on my teeth

and the only valentine I got from was
this kid named Jason Schumacher.

The kid with head lice.

Then, in eighth grade,
the braces came off, the bra came on,

and then, "Hello, valentines."
I was swimming in them.

Aunt Jill...

I'm sorry. Okay.

Claire, I have your class roster here.

And your first name is Gary Adams.

Now, the key is to write a really
personal little message on them.

Next?

Well, that's a way to go.
Okay.

Gracie, your first name is
Tommy Anderson.

I'm gonna write a special one to him.
He likes me.

That's because he thinks you're me.

Well, that's not a nice thing
to say, Gracie.

I'm Claire.

- I knew that.
- Hey, guys.

- Guess what's happening on Sunday?
- Well, we know,

but we're frankly surprised
that you know.

I think I'd remember the day I get my
custom shift knob for the hot rod.

Shifter-knob Sunday.
And me without a ham.

Custom-made, you know?
It's the last piece of the puzzle.

Found it up in Lansing.

Guy's gonna scoot it down here.
It'll be here Sunday.

Once I screw it on,
the hot rod is complete.

- Finished? Done? Over?
- As in over with, finito, that's it.

Wow, girls, your Uncle Tim
finally finished the hot rod.

You're finishing your hot rod
for Valentine's Day?

- That's right, Claire.
- I'm Gracie.

I knew that.

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So, do you have any ideas about
what to do on the big day?

Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking we could
go to Sorrentino's for dinner,

and then go listen to some jazz
and then...

You're not talking about
Valentine's Day.

You're talking about finishing
the hot rod.

Absolutely not.
I'm talking about unveiling the hot rod.

Oh.

Well, once I get it finished,
I gotta think of some exciting way

to show it to the audience.

Well, how about this?
Okay, you start up the engine,

- you drive it out.
- I like it.

- People everywhere are cheering.
- They're cheering.

Then you make this big announcement.

"This is the last hot rod
I will ever build."

Good one.

- Well, we're off to school.
- You gonna be able to drive?

Yeah. I'll be fine. I just...

I don't know how I'm gonna carry home
all those valentines I'll be getting.

I'm sure you'll have plenty of
cargo space in that swelled head.

- See you, guys.
- All right.

You guys aren't leaving
till you both come up with an idea

- about the hot rod show for me.
- Dad, I got a geometry test.

Mark, this is important.

How about a real emotional Tool Time?

- Go with it. Come on.
- What could be more dramatic

than giving your eldest son
the keys to that '46 Ford?

Good one.

- Why don't you just make a video?
- A video, sure. What about?

Like a tribute to the hot rod.

You know, with interviews
with the people that made it.

A video tribute. That's good.

- That's a great idea.
- I like that idea.

- Maybe you could work on it.
- You mean, like, create it?

Sure. You did a great job on
Brad's soccer video.

But this is a big, professional project.

But it's just a small segment.

I think he can do it.
He's been interning down at Tool Time.

- He's been doing a great job.
- Thank you, Dad.

- I promise, I won't disappoint you.
- Don't disappoint me.

But there's ground rules.
Three of them. Big ones.

My show, my show, my show.

- I gotta go.
- All right. And remember,

I want the video up to
Tool Time high standards, okay?

Gotcha. I'll blow something up.

It's really nice,
your giving Mark this chance.

I've got a lot of confidence in that kid.

And he might be able to bring
a younger audience in.

I could reach young tool men
and mold them

before their minds are fully functioning.

And after 24 hours,
you'll have the appearance

of natural wood grain
on your aluminum door.

Now, that's what I call
a simply fabulous faux finish.

And that's what I call
simply spending too much time

with your mother.

We'll be right back after these words
from Binford.

Well, Tim, Al and Heidi here.

You might recognize us
from over there.

Poor air quality
is an issue we all deal with.

Many of us in urban areas
are forced to breathe noxious fumes.

Heidi's the one
that had the breakfast burrito.

To protect ourselves from pollutants
and particles in the air,

we're proud to introduce the
Binford 6100 sports respirator.

It's lightweight, and fashionable.

Plus the mouthpiece comes
in designer colors, a full array of them.

Mine's kiwi.

- Breathe cleaner, healthier air.
- Breathe Binford.

Well, that finishes up
another Tool Time show.

Al, why don't you tell everybody

about the big show we got coming up?

That's right.
Be sure to tune in Tuesday

for a very special Tool Time,
when Tim presents

his totally restored
'46 Ford convertible.

Plus a little video tribute
directed and created by my son, Mark.

You know,
you have your family working here.

What would it take
to get Mother on the show?

We'd have to widen that door
and put some brisket down.

Tell us about the engine.

Well, she's got 225 horsepower
at 5500 RPM.

And she's ported,
polished and relieved.

- Full...
- Full race cam

and three Stromberg 97s.

Dad, you're in my shot.

The electrical on this '46 Ford is
wired like a computer.

It's all parallel, no crisscross.

The connectors, heat-shrunk.
Prevents corrosion.

Yeah, no corrosion on those babies.
No corrosion.

Hi, I'm Eddie. I'm Tim's body shop guy.

So tell us what you see
when you look at my dad's hot rod.

I see dollar signs.

See? Yeah.
I see Eddie Junior going to Harvard.

I see early retirement.

I see a little place in Rio.

I see a fake passport and a new wife.
Young. I like 'em young.

- Hey, cut, cut, cut.
- They gotta be young.

Eddie, family show, baby.

I really loved working on this car.

I can't believe the odyssey
is finally over.

Seems like only yesterday that Tim

asked me to match
the ruby-pearl exterior

with the beautiful
distressed leather upholstery.

And then the joy we both felt
on the day we found the right color

and fabric for the convertible top.

I can still smell that German canvas.

Like the top of a baby's head.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do this.
Thanks, Tim.

- Hi.
- Hey. Tough day

- out there on the blacktop?
- Yeah.

You know,
it's not filling the potholes that I mind,

it's the groupies.

- Where are my girls?
- They're on a play date

with a friend of theirs,
and Jill took them all to the mall.

She's probably getting me something
really cool for Valentine's Day.

You get her something special?

I did something
she's been wanting me to do

for three years, finish the hot rod.

Yes, I'm getting her something special.

You know, it's funny.

All the time that
Nancy and I were together,

I always figured Valentine's Day
was just some annoying holiday

that women made up.

It's true.
Legend has it it was a little town

called Climax, Michigan.

1964, group of women
around a salad bar.

One was making up Valentine's Day.

The other two were inventing stuff like,
"Dressings on the side,"

and, "I just want to be held."

- What's the matter?
- You know, just...

Seeing all the couples
buying each other cards and presents.

- You know, I miss it.
- You know, what you're going through,

it takes a lot of guts.

You mean living with you?

That, too.

- She'd never do that. Hi, guys.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Hey, who's this?

This is our friend Christy.
She's staying for dinner.

Well, I'm cooking tonight.
So you're real lucky.

We'll see about that.

Feisty little thing.

Hey.

You guys are a little late.
Where have you been?

Mark was in the editing room
for two hours,

and I had to stand in the hall
on my bum leg.

- Why didn't you just sit down?
- Shoot.

- Finished the video.
- Well, good.

Let's take a look at it. Come on.

Dad, Dad.

So, how did it come out?

I think it's the best thing I've ever done.

All right.

Thank you so much for
giving me the chance.

I can't wait to see it.

She's got 225 horsepower
at 5500 RPMs. She's ported...

Yeah.

Heat-shrunk. Prevents corrosion.

Hi. I'm Eddie, Tim's body shop guy.

I see early retirement.
I see a little place in Rio.

I see fake passports and a new wife.
Yeah, and she's young.

I like 'em young. She's gotta be...

Finally got the right color
and fabric for the convertible top.

So, what'd you think?

It stunk.

Christy, it did not stink.

Anybody else?

I'm afraid I'm gonna have
to go with Christy.

- Brad.
- It didn't stink.

- Thank you, Claire.
- It was scary.

Dad?

Well.

That was different. I liked the way
you switched the guys' heads.

That was good. But...

- But what?
- You know, I hate telling you this.

I mean, it was... It's a new policy,
just came down at Binford today.

It's a union thing,
and since you're not part of the union...

You're not gonna show it, are you?

Well, I'd like to show it,
but it's a union thing.

He thinks it stinks, too.

Look, I know the video was bizarre.

But isn't there something
that you can do?

Sure. I could present it to the devil
as an offering.

Couldn't you do
some sort of special blooper show?

Mom, Dad already has one.
It's called Tool Time.

Well, what about re-editing it,
so it works?

And what if it doesn't?
Then I disappoint him twice?

Well, all I know is we've got
a 14-year-old who's crushed.

Seems to me you should have
thought this through more carefully

before you made a promise
you couldn't keep.

Maybe there's
something in it I can use, you know?

Happy Valentine's Day, good neighbor.

Why don't you just
send a greeting card?

Well, some historians claim
that Valentine's Day can be traced

to the ancient festival of Lupercalia.

See, in Rome,
people would slap each other

using animal pelts, to heighten fertility.

We used to do that in high school.

Using a wet towel
would just heighten people's voices.

It is great fun, I'll tell you.

I bet Jill would love to strike you
with an animal hide.

I bet you Mark would like to
take a whack at me himself.

Yeah. Jill told me about the video.

I cannot show that video on Tool Time.

On the other hand,
I don't want to discourage the kid

from doing something
he's passionate about.

So, in the words
of the Anglican leader Lorenzo Dow,

"You're damned if you do,
and you're damned if you don't."

You can go back to
your lubrication festival.

Tim, let me ask you something.

When you asked Mark
to create this video,

- did you give him any guidelines?
- Yeah.

I said,
it was my show, my show, my show.

Not much to go on, is it?

It's like telling a guy to build
a house without blueprints.

- Which is something you wouldn't do.
- I might.

I actually did once.
That house was a disaster.

- Yeah.
- But the ratings went through the roof,

just like the water heater.

You know, Tim, Mark has his
own vision and you have yours.

Now, if you want
to hire him for your show,

you've got to communicate
what you want

in an articulate
and a professional manner.

- I love articulating.
- Yeah.

Maybe the two of you can
work together.

They say, sometimes, that two heads
are better than one.

So, you did see the video?

- Hey, Mark.
- Hey, Brad.

Hey, Brad, could you give us a minute?

Don't worry about it.
I don't feel like talking.

Brad, please. Come on.

Yeah. Is there anything
you want me to get you?

Not now.
But come back in a minute, yeah.

- I want to talk about your video.
- What about it?

Well, I looked at it again.
And it's real creative, you know?

And it shows a lot of humor.

- Come on. You thought it sucked.
- No, I didn't. Not at all.

I mean, when Sparky was crying there,

I got goose bumps.
At least I think that's what those were.

Well, I looked it over again,
and I thought it sucked.

What did you think
was the matter with it?

It was just too flashy and overdone.
It had nothing to do with your show.

That's true.
But I think I know why you did it.

- You do?
- Yeah. It all comes back to Tool Time.

- It's called "The Lost Episode."
- Never heard of it.

Hence the name "Lost Episode."
Nobody's seen it. Not even Mom.

When I got out of college,

I was just fresh out of
two film classes, right?

I got my own show,
and I wanted to show off.

You know, my creativity
was just burning through me, right?

So, I did my first episode
about building a table

from the perspective of the saw.

Man.

Yeah, that's what Binford said.
That's what the crowd said.

That's what the saw blade
actually said.

- The saw?
- It talked.

- Binford didn't like it too much.
- So, what did they do?

Well, they sat me down and we had
a nice conversation about it.

And they gave me some directions,
not the dumb guidelines I gave you.

And I'm thinking that if we brainstorm

with some of the guys
down at Tool Time,

we could come up
with a great episode for next week.

- You're giving me a second chance?
- You bet I am.

Come on, this is about our hot rod.
I'm not just letting anybody do this.

- All right. Let's get started.
- All right.

We need some notes first,
on that first scene. You thirsty?

- Yeah.
- Hey, Brad,

will you bring down
some root beers, please?

Well, we're just about to reveal
Tim's '46 Ford convertible.

Hey, Tim, you want to tell us
a little something about this car?

Why, this car is chopped

It's shaved

It's recessed

Why, it's Greased Lightning

I love the overhead lifters
And four-barrel quads, oh, yeah

Fuel injection cut-off
And chrome-plated rods, oh, yeah

With a four-speed on the floor
They'll be waiting at the door

You know without a doubt
I'll be really making out

in Greased Lightning

Go, go, go Go, Greased Lightning

You're burning up the quarter mile

Greased Lightning
Go, Greased Lightning

Go, Greased Lightning

You're coasting
through the heat lap trial

Greased Lightning
Go, Greased Lightning

You are supreme

The chicks'll dream
of Greased Lightning

Go, go, go

I'll have me purple French tail lights
and 30-inch fins, oh, yeah

A palomino dashboard
and dual muffler twins, oh, yeah

With new pistons, plugs and shocks
She could beat the super stocks

You know that I ain't bragging
She's a real dragon wagon

Greased Lightning Go, go, go

Go, Greased Lightning
You're burning up the quarter mile

Greased Lightning
Go, Greased Lightning

Go, Greased Lightning

You're coasting
through the heat lap trial

Greased Lightning
Go, Greased Lightning

You are supreme

The chicks'll scream
for Greased Lightning

Go, go, go

Go, Greased Lightning
You're burning up the quarter mile

Greased Lightning
Go, Greased Lightning

Go, Greased Lightning

You're coasting
through the heat lap trial

Greased Lightning
Go, Greased Lightning

You are supreme

The chicks'll scream
for Greased Lightning

Pretty proud of you. It looks good.
Looks great, actually.

Thanks, Dad.

God, it was such a good idea
for you to think of Greased Lightning.

- Yeah.
- Wow. Heidi was great.

- What about us?
- You were in it?

- By the way, Dad...
- Nah, don't even bother thanking me.

It was all you. It was a good idea.

Actually, I wasn't going to.
I went way over budget.

Can I get reimbursed?

Son, you have a lot to learn
about the film business.

Well, it's got overhead lifters
And four-barrel quads, oh, yeah

Fuel injection cut-off
And chrome-plated rods, oh, yeah

With a four-speed on the floor
They'll be waiting at the door

You know, without a doubt
I'll be really making out

in Greased Lightning

Go, go, go Go, Greased Lightning

You're burning up the quarter mile

Greased Lightning
Go, Greased Lightning

Go, Greased Lightning

You're coasting
through the heat lap trial

Greased Lightning
Go, Greased Lightning

You are supreme

The chicks'll dream
of Greased Lightning

Go, go, go

I'll have me purple French taillights
and 30-inch fins, oh, yeah

A palomino dashboard
and dual muffler twins, oh, yeah

With new pistons, plugs and shocks
She could beat the super stocks

You know that I ain't bragging
She's a real dragon wagon

Greased Lightning Go, go, go

Go, Greased Lightning
You're burning up the quarter mile

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