All language subtitles for Greys.Anatomy.S17E04.WEB.h264-BAE.en.hi

♪ These rivers are frozen ♪

♪ It's hard to say
if it will be alright ♪

Meredith: Medical schools
often ask applicants

for an essay describing a time
they faced adversity...

♪ ...has broken ♪

and how they overcame it.

♪ Everything
that I have built inside ♪

They want to know
how people will cope

with the challenges
they'll face as a doctor.

♪ I'm chasing my shadow ♪

[ Thunder crashes ]

♪ Lately he's been
the only friend of mine ♪

♪♪

Some students worry they have
nothing to write about.

♪ And I don't know
which way to go ♪

♪♪

♪ Lost my mind to the unknown ♪
They haven't faced difficulty.

[ Ventilator hissing,
monitor beeping ]

♪ Even if I stay here always ♪

♪ I'll keep holding on ♪

♪ For you ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ I'll be waiting ♪

I didn't have that problem.

♪ Till we meet again,
till we meet again ♪

Morning, Meredith.

[ Thunder rumbling ]

Uh, let's start
with regional updates.

Uh, Hunt?

Shouldn't we start with
an update on Meredith Grey?

Yeah. I mean,
has her I. S. improved?

Yeah. Is she on
a proning schedule?

People, people.
I know we're all concerned,

but Meredith
is getting excellent care

from Altman and DeLuca.

She's stable and she's resting.

In the meantime,
we have a hospital

full of patients who need us.

Hunt?

Yesterday Seattle reported
345 more cases, 29 deaths.

Test positivity rate
has increased to 4.7%,

so we should prepare
for more patients.

COVID ICU?

Beds are at 68% capacity.

We'll likely need more
by the end of the month.

53 of the 72 ventilators
are currently in use.

Are there any cases
that warrant discussion?

Koracick: Hi. Hello.

I've got one. Me.
K‐Koracick? How did you ‐‐

I‐I've got connections.
I'm emeritus chief of chiefs.

That is not a thing.

As I'm sure Hunt
gleefully told you,

I tested positive for COVID.

But I think the test was a dud.

Breathing's normal,
good heart rate,

singing voice unaffected ‐‐

That does not change the rules.

A negative COVID test
or a 14‐day quarantine.

You're not even close.
Then send me a new test.

And can you adjust
my camera angle?

As lovely as
the ceiling is, I ‐‐

[ Light laughter ]

♪♪

[ Indistinct talking on PA ]

[ Door opens ]

Did you know that there are
murder hornets now?

What?
Yeah.

As if the COVID outbreak
right after my husband dumped me

wasn't bad enough.
[ Chuckles ]

I'm gonna go home, crawl into
bed before my next shift.

Yeah, I'm done, too. Look,
if you don't want to be alone,

you can come hang out
at my place.

Um, let me think about the
last time I went to your place

and... no.

At least I don't have a resident
living on my couch, okay?

I got fancy beer
and a negative COVID test.

I guess also April switched
Harriett's days on me, but...

Oh, so you're lonely.

Will you just come over,
alright?

We can watch TV and, I don't
know, order pizza. Or sushi.

Start over.

Friendship reboot.

We're getting both
and you're paying.

Fine.
And no Kenny G!

[ Door closes ]

[ Thunder rumbling, baby coos ]

Hey, buddy.

Yeah.

Just me and you.

[ Sighs ]

This is called a "C" chord.

[ Guitar playing ]
I'll teach you one day.

[ Door opens ]

Why can't I find gauze
in a house

with so many surgeons
living in it?

Uh, who's bleeding this time?

Bailey lost a tooth.

The one that's been loose
for two weeks?

That's supposed to happen.

Well, not when your mom
is in the hospital with COVID.

Mer's gonna get better.

[ Sighs ]
You don't know that's true.

You don't know that it's not.

Alright, look, um,

let's ‐‐ let's look at
the bright side of things, okay?

We get to introduce Bailey
to the Tooth Fairy.

Kids love the Tooth Fairy.

I'll, uh ‐‐ I'll check on him.

The bright side?

[ Monitor beeping ]

Dr. Kuo at the Catherine Fox
Medical Center in Manhattan

is doing a trial with
monoclonal antibodies for COVID.

She's got room for two more patients,
but we got to jump on it.

I read that study.
Didn't three patients die?

Well, there's a strong chance
that they got the drug too late.

Dr. Webber,
her lungs are flooded,

a‐and she's sleeping
almost around the clock.

Richard, I would never
give this recommendation

if I didn't think that the good
outweighed the bad.

Thank you.
I'll ‐‐ I'll think about it.

Okay.

Dr. Webber ‐‐

I said I'd think about it.

♪♪

Bailey:
Mom, I can't come see you.

Because of the pandemic,
remember?

There's a bad virus
and no vaccine yet.

But I can call you later,
though, okay?

I ‐‐ Mnh.

How you feeling, Chief?
[ Sighs ]

I moved my parents here
from across the country

into an assisted‐living facility
just in time to never see them.

I meant your ankle.
But sorry to hear that.

It's fine.
Thank you.

Soccer mom: Hello?
Can someone help me?

Hi. I'm Dr. Kim.

Where are you from?

Orthopedics. And it looks like
you just have a cut here,

so let's find you another doctor

who can help
take care of this, okay?

Orthopedics?

You know that's not
what she was asking.

‐I know.
‐It doesn't bother you?

Her assuming
you're not from here?

Happens to all of us
at some point, right?

[ Siren wailing ]

Bailey: What do we have?
Paramedic: Dave Oyadomari, 37,

head lac and right shoulder pain

after falling off
of a step ladder.

He also complains of abdominal
pain, nausea, and vomiting

with a 102 fever.

He was recently treated here
by Dr. Hunt for appendicitis

then sent home
on oral antibiotics.

Dave: Yeah. I'll be okay.

Can ‐‐ Can you just give me
some more antibiotics

and ‐‐ and a sling or something?

You were in so much pain
that you fell off a ladder.

I had to call an ambulance!

Meet my wife, Tammi.

Okay. We'll check him out,
Tammi.

Uh, he's tachycardic
and slightly hypotensive.

Kim. Here.

Let's get him to trauma one
and do a COVID test,

STAT X‐rays, labs,
and a FAST exam.

Nico: Got it.

[ Monitor beeping ]

You trying to will her
into joining the trial?

No.

I'm hoping she suddenly
gets better and doesn't need it.

♪♪

[ Seagulls crying ]

♪♪

Excuse me!

♪♪

Meredith: Hello?!

♪♪

Mer?

George?!

What are you doing here?

♪♪

♪♪

[ Knock on door ]

♪♪

Did you ask the humans
to take you to their leader?

Because it's no longer me.

It's Dr. Helm. I'm here
to do your COVID test.

No, you're here to deliver it.

I don't allow residents
in my house or up my nose.

Uh, just put it down.
Right here.

Back up.

Back, back, back, back, back,
back, back, back, back, back.

Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup.

[ Siren wailing in distance ]

Taryn: Did you know
that I had COVID?

It was mild, but scary.

I learned how to make sourdough.

I couldn't taste it or smell it,
but the texture seemed right.

I also, uh, binged a docuseries
about house ‐‐

You can stop your "What I did
over COVID vacation" report.

I have no interest
in baking, bingeing,

or doing anything you did
or will ever do or ‐‐

[ Sniffles ] What?

Are you plotting
something... evil?

No. I'm stopping
the pandemic.

[ Test kit thuds ]

♪♪

Winston: Chopped chicken salad
with homemade sweet pickles

on toasted bread.

That's a Nana Ante special
right there.

Ooh! Jealous!

I had stale cashews.

Well, mine's nothing compared
to hers, but it's not bad.

And I just can't wait
for you two to meet.

I hope to, someday.

Tonight too soon?
It's her birthday.

And, uh, we're doing a ‐‐
a virtual dinner.

Or if it's too soon, no rush.

No, no, I just, uh...

It's Meredith.

I‐I know there's nothing
I can do, but...

[ Chuckles ] Anything I do
that isn't trying to help

just feels selfish and wrong.

Joy is in short supply
these days.

Especially our joy.

It sure as hell is.

That's why I'm grabbing it
when I can.

You know, it might be
a text from you.

It might be the fancy pencils

I bought for
my crossword puzzles.

It might be just
taking a few minutes

to sit outside with
my chicken‐salad sandwich

and look at the daffodils.

I don't mean
to tell you how to be.

Uh... are you mad?

‐No, no.
‐Ignore me. Ignore me.

I'm not mad. I'm not mad.
I'm... a little hurt maybe.

You got fancy pencils
and you didn't tell me?

Wait. Are you
a pencil nerd, too?

Oh, I special ordered a vintage
pencil sharpener from Paris.

[ Laughs ]
[ Cellphone chimes ]

Oh, oh.
That's my resident.

And... joy's over.

[ Sighs ]
Until dinner tonight.

Until dinner tonight.

♪♪

Dave: My great‐grandpa
was an accountant,

but no one would hire him
after he came back from camp.

So he got a job
as a line cook in a diner

and eventually started Toyo.

‐Where was he interned?
‐Tule Lake.

My great‐grandparents
were sent to Jerome.

I'm Gosei on my mom's side.

Scans up yet?

[ Beep ]
Yep, just came up.

[ Keys clacking ]
Dr. Hunt, I read

that you initially
diagnosed appendicitis,

but these scans show
pelvic free fluid

and a paracolonic abscess.

I think he might have
right‐sided diverticulitis.

[ Sighs ] Yep.

And it looks like
it's perforated.

Plus, his X‐rays show
a broken collarbone.

Okay, book an OR,
and I'll meet you up there.

We need to get him up there
right now.

Really?
We ‐‐ We as in me?

Yeah, it's your diagnosis.

[ Exhales sharply ]
Good catch, Tseng.

[ Keys clacking ]

Congratulations.

You just ordered Nathan Ramos
a pregnancy test.

Intern Sara:
What? How?!

Hey.
Hey.

Hey.

You already said that.

Woman on P. A.: Portable X‐ray
to the third floor.

Portable X‐ray
to the third floor.

Intern Sara: Ooh! He cute.
[ Giggles ]

No one asked you.
Okay.

Jackson: Wait. No, no, no. Wait.
She kicked you out of bed,

so you were, like, what,
naked? I'm naked. Naked.

I was naked in bed with
my boyfriend, and she just ‐‐

And it wasn't
just one time either.

I mean, it kind of says
less about him than her.

Really, though?
Does it?

Yeah. Mer's like
a force of nature.

[ Both chuckle ]

Yeah. That's right.

She's a force of nature.
She, um...

She's gonna beat this thing.
Right?

Right.

Right. Yeah.

[ Waves crashing ]

[ Seagulls crying ]

Derek said the sand isn't real.

Yeah, no.
Neither is the ocean.

It is nice, though.

I wouldn't want to leave either.

The beach?

Your kids.
[ Chuckles ]

Got great kids.

They're the best.
You didn't meet them.

I check in sometimes.

How did you get older?

Sand isn't real,
the ocean isn't real.

The body...
it's not real.

Maybe it's just more peaceful
for you to imagine me older?

You sound like a fortune cookie.

[ Both laughing ]

[ Sighs ]

Do I choose?

Do I get to decide if I go back?

I don't know.
I didn't.

I would have stayed
if I could have.

It's different
for everyone, though.

♪♪

[ Monitor beeping ]

[ Door opens ]

She's still asleep?

Richard:
She needs her rest.

You want to wake her
and ask her about the trial?

I tried.
How hard?

She needs her rest, Bailey.

If you think I'm struggling
with the decision,

how do you think she's gonna do?

You want to talk pros and cons?

We don't know anything
about the virus,

so we don't know anything
about the treatment,

so we don't know any of the pros
or any of the cons.

Let's just see
if the proning helps.

[ Door opens ]

Nana Ante: The boy refused
to wear anything with buttons.

Collared shirts, slacks,
even jeans.

Look.
Buttons confine, okay?

Now, elastic waistbands
give you freedom.

You better not be wearing
elastic waistbands

when you take Maggie out.

I promise you he doesn't.

[ Computer ringing ]
Oh, is this your brother?

He said he had to work.

Happy Birthday, Momma!

Nana Ante: Thanks, baby.

We're actually
in the middle of dinner.

Winston, I invited your dad.

And you have to get along
because it's my birthday.

Clifford:
So, who is this young lady?

Um, I'm Maggie Pierce.
I'm a friend of Winston's.

Friend? Ha.

Maggie's a genius doctor
like Winston.

She used to be his teacher.

Winston? A genius?

Oh, stop playin'.

[ Chuckling ] You know that boy
almost failed sixth grade.

Such a pain.

Maybe I wouldn't have
missed so much class

if I wasn't helping Mom while
you gambled away our savings.

Winston! Sorry,
Nana. No disrespect.

Listen, man, I never pretended
to be a perfect man.

But I love you,
and I love my momma.

So, please, for her sake,
let's try to be civil.

Civil, huh?

Okay.

Happy birthday, Nana.
I love you.

Uh...

So, is there cake?

[ Siren wailing ]

[ Birds chirping ]

Why are you up so early?

[ Sighs ] Front desk.
I got some breakfast delivered.

Oh, you know what?

If I was hungry, I would have
just eaten the cold pizza.

Who said I got you any?

Can't believe I fell asleep.

Never should've started
a movie with two sequels.

Prequels.
They were prequels.

And I said that,
but you called me a wuss.

[ Clears throat ]
Why is your couch

more comfortable than my bed?

Well, you're welcome to it
whenever you want.

[ Clears throat ] Thank you
for the friendship reboot.

It almost made up for the last
time that I woke up here.

Tried to rip the Band‐Aid off
too soon.

It's behind us.
We're good.

Uh, but you can take
the pizza with you.

I'll grab it for you.

Jo: Wait.

Mnh, mnh, mnh.

I'm ripping off the Band‐Aid.

♪♪

♪♪

It's just a basic algorithm that
simulates the spread of COVID.

Here's what it would look like
if everyone social‐distanced.

[ Key clacks ]

[ Chuckling ]

Here... if everyone
wore face masks.

[ Key clacks, beeping ]

[ Chuckles ]

It's just a little
stochastic S‐I‐R model

that allows for
multivariable inputs...

[ Growling ]

w‐which I built by converting
a "Zombie Apocalypse" game.

I love that game!
How does yours end?

I‐I don't know yet.

Same. I never got past
level eight, so...

Yeah, Helm,
I appreciate your interest,

but, uh, no one's gonna know
my test is negative

if it never leaves
my porch, hmm?

Show's over.

Bye‐ee!

Meredith: I was devastated
when you died.

You were all cracking up
at my funeral.

Well, we were ‐‐

No. What?

What? No.

It ‐‐ That made me happy.

I was devastated.

And then I was okay.

And even with Derek...

eventually you go on.

And the kids would go on.

They would, but...

I think maybe with them
it's different.

My mom didn't go on.

No?

Not really,
not like she used to.

Some grief is ‐‐

is heavier than other grief.

Sometimes it moves through you,

and sometimes it ‐‐
it just gets stuck.

And you carry it.
Like my mom.

My mom carries it.

Sometimes I try
to shake it out of her.

What?!

Like, you know...

Like you haunt her?

Well, I mean, if you want
to call it that, I...

[ Laughs ]

I just want her to...
let it go.

I want her to know I'm still me

even though she can't touch me
and she can't see me,

but I am still me.

It's not the same.

No, I know.

♪♪

[ Monitor beeping ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

You know, her sats were steady,

but now they're
just getting worse.

I made some calls,
and there's another spot open

in Dr. Kuo's trial,
but we have to act fast.

Is there another spot
because another patient died?

Have you seen the opacities
in her lungs?

Dr. Webber,
at this point,

you can either hope
that she wakes up again

or you can make the decisions
that she chose you to make!

I beg your pardon?

The choice is between doing
nothing and doing something.

Do something.

♪♪

Nico: You had to leave
him open? Owen: Yes.

Once we got in,
his colon was a mess.

So we had to bring
up an ileostomy

and place an ABTHERA
for the swelling.

His clavicle's non‐displaced.

Fracture should
heal quite nicely.

How soon? Till
he can work again?

Maybe a month.

Tseng,
let's diurese him overnight

and let's put him on the
stand‐by list for the OR

in case we need to
do a washout tomorrow.

You did well today.

Can I ask you something?

Am I literally the only
person that can answer it?

Kind of.

Our patient's Asian‐American.

So right‐side diverticulitis
was a greater possibility.

But Dr. Hunt didn't scan
him when he first came in.

So, what's your question?

I think he should know so he
doesn't make this mistake again.

But I don't know how
to talk to him about it.

You don't know how to accuse
your attending of being a racist?

That's not what I meant. Well,
that's what he's gonna hear.

So your advice is... do nothing?

You're a resident.
He's an attending.

My advice to you is,
if you're gonna have a conversation

with him,
at least know what to expect.

♪♪

Hello! Dr. Koracick?

No test kit? They wouldn't
give me another one

because you keep
testing positive.

But I got to level nine
on "Zombie Apocalypse."

I didn't stop the virus,
but it's a start.

Oh, yeah, I‐I stopped that.

You found a cure? Or a vaccine?

Wait. Did you reach
herd immunity?

Tell me.

I blew up the world.

You killed everyone?

Oh, we're all gonna die anyway.

Well, yeah, eventually.

Well, if by "eventually" you mean
before the year's out, then, yeah.

[ Chuckles ] I figured
I'd cut to the chase.

♪♪

That was not a bridge.

That was ‐‐ What's
bigger than a bridge?

Mm, whatever that was, I guess.

Okay. But we can't do it again.

No? No. Definitely not.

Because then ‐‐
then we're a thing.

We're definitely not a thing.

Yeah, definitely not a thing.

Agreed. Not a thing.

It's just ‐‐ However... Yeah?

If we were to not get dressed

between the first
and the ‐‐ goes after...

Yep. Yeah,
mm‐hmm. You know what I'm saying?

Then it's all really just one
experience. It's just one experience.

So it's not a thing. It's just...
It's one whole experience.

♪♪

So... he just bailed?

Yeah. I knew that he
had problems with his dad,

but I did not know
they were that bad.

Couldn't even be in a
virtual room with him.

And I haven't heard
from him since.

You seem exceedingly
calm about that.

You know,
I'm ‐‐ I'm paying it forward.

Or... backward.

When we first
reconnected in L. A.,

I told him that I needed some time,
and he totally heard me.

Plus, our sister's in the
hospital with COVID alone.

It really puts things
in perspective.

I hate that we
can't be with her.

Me too.

[ Man whistling ]

Is that whistling?

That's Link.

He is a one‐man pep rally.

And I hate that, too.

Oh! Dr. Altman.

Bad time?

This virus is like a‐a
drunk uncle at a wedding.

Y‐You've got no idea
what it's gonna do

or when it's gonna turn on you.

I am reading everything on COVID

because every 24 hours
there's something new.

And I have to keep up
because there could be one drug,

one procedure ‐‐ it could help.

It could help everyone. It
could help Meredith Grey.

So, yes,
it's a ‐‐ it's a ‐‐ it's a bad time.

What do you need?

Um, I was gonna tell you

that Dr. Koracick is
in a really dark place

and seems like he
could use a friend.

But, um,
Dr. Grey is kinda my whole world, so...

Never mind. Proceed.

♪♪

Owen: Dave's abdominal
swelling is coming down,

so we should be able to
close him in just a few days.

Tammi: Oh,
that's great news. Thank you.

Yeah. Just doing my
job. How are things there?

Oh, hanging on by a thread.

Dave's the one who
keeps this place running.

Well,
we are doing everything we can here

to get him back to you, okay?

Can I see him one more time?

Of course.

Rest up and come home soon,
okay?

I wish I could be
there. I love you.

[ Sighs heavily ] It's
awful that she can't visit.

It's awful this happened
in the first place.

Tseng, you need to step out.

[ Sighs ] Now.

♪♪

You don't have to
be so hard on her.

She's very attached
to this patient.

She's upset that a misdiagnosis

cost this patient the next
four weeks of his livelihood.

Me too. Sometimes you have to
weigh the risks and make a decision.

Right‐sided diverticulitis
is extremely rare.

But not as rare for Dave.
It's 10 times more likely

in patients of Asian
descent than white patients.

Which you clearly didn't know
or didn't take into consideration.

But either way it's on you,

'cause all this could've been
avoided with a simple scan.

[ Monitor beeping ]

♪♪

You're just getting
here? [ Car door closes ]

Is that a problem?

No. Just didn't see
you when I got up.

I figured you came in early.

I was exercising.

Morning.

Oh,
my God! You're back together.

Kind of. Ugh!

Taryn said the Netherlands

suggested people find
a designated sex partner

for the pandemic.

You're having sex with Nico

because the Dutch
government recommends it?

Their country ranks very high
on the World Happiness Index.

He lied, dumped you.

He barely gives you the time of day. Okay,
stop judging.

It's wartime,
but I still have needs.

It's not like I'm just
gonna find someone new.

So you're with your
emotionally unavailable ex?

Wartime!

[ Sighs ]

Link: Ah, the sun is out,
and Scout's down.

And everyone else is watching
a PBS show about penguins.

Meredith's not improving. Uh,
they can't wake her.

Well,
she's getting her rest. It's good.

No, it is not good. None of this is good,
okay?

Do you not see that? I
am terrified for Meredith.

I am sad. I am enraged
that this is happening.

So, please, stop dismissing me

with your bright sides and your pep talks,
okay?

Let me have my fear and my grief

and my anger.

Because if I don't,
if I keep shoving it down,

you will have a very hard time

finding the bright side
to the consequences.

What are you doing?

I'm making some
space for us to sit

while you have
all your feelings.

[ Celeste's "I'm Here" plays ]

[ Monitor beeping ]

♪♪

♪ How do we still remember ♪

♪ My mind and memories young ♪

♪ I want you January
to December ♪

[ Waves crashing ]

George: Do you still dance?
♪ Another trip around the sun ♪

Meredith: Hmm?

When you're sad
or you're stressed,

do you still... dance it out?

No, not so much anymore,
not since Cristina left.

Cristina didn't die.

I know.

That's what I miss
about being alive.

Dancing till you drop.

Laughing till you cry.

Food. Textures.

The crunch of cereal
as you eat it from the box.

[ Laughs ]

The feel of clean
sheets and a good pillow

at the end of a long day.

♪♪

♪ These fears ♪ [
Monitor beeping faintly ]

Richard: I've got the consent
forms for that clinical trial...

for that clinical trial...

♪ These tears are just tears ♪

And there's one more space,
and...

I have to decide, and...

it could be the best or
worst decision of my life.

Richard: Your doctors,
your friends, your family.

They're worried about you.

I'm trying to be
strong for them,

but I'll admit...
I'm struggling.

Seeing you there like this...

and not knowing what to do.

[ Monitor beeping ]

I'm sorry, Richard.

And choices. Ahh.

So many choices.

So many ways to live a life.

Meredith?

Meredith, what is it? I'm here.

I'm right here.

♪ Enough time to
know that you're... ♪

If you stay here,
it might break him.

♪ Ohh, keeping your eyes on me ♪

I know.

♪ I know you'll be here
when I look 'round ♪

[ Weakly ] I know, George.

♪ These fears ♪

♪ No longer weapons ♪

♪ These tears are just tears ♪

♪ Not longing ♪

Get her in.

♪ For direction ♪

♪ I belong here ♪

[ Siren wailing in distance ]

Oh, God, I hate...

Me?

Every single thing except you.

I live with Jo Wilson now.

But she, uh...

has not been sleeping at home.

I want to invite you over.

But I guess we have not
been great to each other.

And I don't know
what's really changed.

Levi.

There's a worldwide pandemic.

We literally don't know if we're
gonna live to see tomorrow.

A lot has changed.

Yeah, okay, let's go.

[ Horns honking ]

[ Knock on door ]

Hey. Hey.

Um... [ Clears throat ]

Our plan went to crap,

and now we can't
pretend it didn't happen ‐‐

I can't be in a
relationship right now.

What? Sorry.

Let me start over.
That sounded rude.

When I'm saying is,
I‐I jumped right into something with Vic...

Mm‐hmm. you know,
after breaking up with Maggie,

who I started dating
pretty soon after April.

So I just probably should take
some time to sort things out.

I don't want to do anything
to hurt you or our friendship.

Jackson, my husband left me
the same year that we got married,

for a second time.

I am super broken.

Like "virtual therapy
three times a week" broken.

And now I have to put
myself back together

in a world that I no
longer recognize,

one that is sad and
lonely and depressing.

So what I need is
friendship and sex.

I am not, like really not,
looking for a relationship.

Especially with
someone like you.

Someone like me? Okay. Mm‐hmm.

Yeah, you know, Mr.,
um, Can't Be Alone

But Sometimes Skips Town
To Go On Nature Journeys.

No thanks. No. Oh, okay.

But you can be friends with

and have sex with
Mr. Can't Be Alone?

Got it. Yes.

The Netherlands has recommended

that its residents find
a regular sex buddy

during the pandemic for safety.

Sounds wise. Doesn't it?

[ Laughing ] You thought
I wanted to date you?!

Well,
how is that ‐‐ Why is that so funny?

Hey. Uh...

You mind if I, uh...

Okay, well, sit over there.

Okay. Hypothetical.

Asian‐American male
presents with fever,

high white blood cell count,
and right lower quadrant pain.

Oh, is this the restaurant guy?

I caught him in the ER.

Bailey, I see a dozen
presentations like that a month.

All appendicitis.

But if I'm honest,
in that moment,

I‐I didn't give it much thought.

I just ‐‐ He was ‐‐
He was any patient.

Any non‐Asian patient.

I defaulted to a
standard of care.

That's centered
around white patients.

I never want to make
that mistake again.

There is no excuse.

You know, when you're
dealing with a high patient count,

you have to make judgment calls,
you know?

You ‐‐ You have to ask,
what is the most likely problem, right?

So there's no excuses,

other than the excuses
you just listed off?

[ Chuckles ] That's
not what I meant.

Ha!

I just want to treat
everyone equally.

Equal doesn't work for everybody,
Hunt.

I‐It's about equity ‐‐ patients
getting what they need,

whether it fits into
a protocol or not.

Look,
I just put my parents in assisted living,

and I can't stop worrying
that they won't get enough care

because... there are
so few Black folks there.

Meanwhile, my dad's freaked out

because on his floor
the nurses are male.

In his mind,
good nurses are female, period.

So we all have biases,
Hunt, including you.

What matters now is
what you do about it.

You're the chief of trauma.

If the protocols don't work,

then read, learn...

question... and change them.

♪♪

[ Guitar playing blues riff ]

Kids are asleep.

♪♪

And... it's your turn to talk.

I'm good.

Link, everything sucks right
now. You can talk about it.

Yeah. Yeah. I could do that.

If you want me to be...
miserable and resentful.

Resentful of me?

For trying to listen?

No, of making me talk

when clearly all I want to
do is play my damn guitar.

[ Guitar playing ]

You can't keep
everything bottled up.

No, no, you can't, Amelia.

That's how you process feelings.

That's how you cope.
And I'm okay with that.

But... I've been through
"everything sucks."

Illness and isolation.

When I had cancer. When
‐‐ When my parents split.

I was so depressed
that I could ‐‐

I could barely get out of bed
for the better part of a year.

And I was 11.

Then I met a kid at cancer camp.

Morrow Willis.

Kid was probably
sicker than I was,

but he didn't want to talk
about treatments or symptoms.

Just sports and "Mario Kart."

So I said to myself,
"What if I just focus on the good stuff?"

And I tried it.

And it turns out that's
what works for me.

That's what I need.

And if you're okay with that,
great,

but if you need a partner in misery,
I'm not your guy.

[ Guitar playing ]

♪♪

Whatcha playing?

Just a little
something I made up.

It's called, uh,
"If the Virus Doesn't End Us,

Then Climate Change
Probably Will Blues."

[ Guitar playing ]

♪♪

[ Computer ringing ]

Hey.

Hey. Wasn't sure you'd answer.

Please. The woman who all
but ghosted you for a month

does not get to judge.

It's just, uh... my dad.

We don't have to talk about it

if you're not ready to
or if you don't want to.

It makes me crazy because he
‐‐ he seems like he's all charm,

but he has got
this temper that...

Well, if you're serious about
not talking about it right now,

that can wait...

because the things I want
to do with you tonight...

they can't.

Oh, well, I'm going to need
you to say more about that.

Alright,
alright. Hold on. Let me, uh ‐‐

Let me try to share my screen.

Oh, my God. What?

Are we gonna watch porn?

[ Chuckles ] No.

"Coming to America."

[ Gasps ]

Mm‐hmm.

Yes! Please! Ahh! [ Chuckles ]

[ Thunder rumbling ] Ugh!

Okay.

Hey, Tom?!

Tom, it's me!

I brought you soup and
I know that you're home!

It's that really excellent soup
from that little Polish place.

Tom...

I know ‐‐ I know that
I am the last person

that you want to see.

I just ‐‐ I don't know.

I thought maybe we
could talk through the door.

I just feel like you need some
semblance of human contact.

I don't blame you for ‐‐ for
wanting to keep your distance,

I mean, pandemic or not.

I just want you to know
that you're not alone.

[ Kevin Garrett's
"Refuse" plays ]

♪♪

[ Shivers ]

Meredith: Experts say
the more resilient we are,

the better we can
face life's challenges.

[ Thunder crashes ]

♪ I'm okay alone ♪

[ Seagulls crying ]

♪ It makes my soul stir ♪

I was so mad at you.

What, for leaving you?

For choosing
someone over yourself.

I didn't know I was gonna die.

Do you regret it?

♪ Keep my head in the dirt ♪

Does that matter?

You'd have done the same
thing. Isn't that why you're here?

♪ Slow crash ♪

♪ Stumble over nothing on
my own path ♪ Yeah. I guess.

So it's your fault.

[ Both laugh ]

How do you figure?

♪ No one ever wanted me
to go back ♪

Because you...

went all‐in for everybody.

Your friends, your family,
a woman at the bus stop.

You think that didn't
somehow affect me?

♪ But I refuse ♪

You changed my life, George.

I didn't say it then,
but it's true.

And the single biggest factor
for cultivating resilience?

♪ Far away from home ♪

Positive relationships.

♪ Forgot my address ♪

[ Monitor beeping ]

♪ Mind is still on loan ♪

For what it's worth, I think
you made the right call,

putting her in the trial.

I've known Meredith
since she was a child.

I watched her operate
on her dolls in the OR gallery.

I took her for milk and cookies
in the cafeteria.

I helped her get over her fear
of the film review room

because that's where she thought
we kept the skeletons.

♪ I know I am anything
but uncouth ♪

And then I watched her
become a surgeon, a wife...

a mother, and a chief.

You know, I knew COVID patients
had to suffer in isolation.

But I never gave any thought
to how helpless

and alone it feels

for the people
who care about them.

♪ I ref‐u‐u‐use ♪

♪ Yes, I ref‐u‐u‐use ♪

♪ No, no, no, no, no ♪

[ Thunder crashes ]

♪ Yes, I refuse ♪

[ Thunder rumbling ]

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

So find your people...

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

and keep them close.

♪ Ooh, ooh, yes, I refuse ♪

Because when
you're at your lowest...

those people get you through.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪