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1
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And...
2
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Congratulations.
3
00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:20,836
- On what?
- Well, all the doors are now shut,
4
00:00:20,897 --> 00:00:23,340
and I just sealed the last window.
So you know what that means?
5
00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:24,940
We should get a carbon monoxide alarm?
6
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:29,562
No. Well, yes. But it also means
that pigeon can't get in here.
7
00:00:29,623 --> 00:00:32,131
Which I'd say calls for a toast.
8
00:00:32,192 --> 00:00:34,180
I thought we were saving that to
celebrate the woodworm treatment.
9
00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:36,617
Nah, it's only prosecco.
I'll buy another bottle.
10
00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:42,755
See, this is why we wait
for the woodworm treatment.
11
00:00:42,816 --> 00:00:44,914
Quick.
Block the hole before the pigeon gets...
12
00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:49,364
How?
13
00:01:06,837 --> 00:01:11,437
Synced & corrected by minouhse
www.addic7ed.com
14
00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:18,913
- Mike, it won't shut with that on.
- Yeah, I'm not an idiot.
15
00:01:18,974 --> 00:01:21,439
They're just holding it
while I put the Sellotape on.
16
00:01:23,654 --> 00:01:24,900
Bitches.
17
00:01:24,961 --> 00:01:27,189
Bitches.
Bitches.
18
00:01:27,528 --> 00:01:29,222
Bitches.
19
00:01:29,283 --> 00:01:30,730
They don't listen.
20
00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:31,991
Women?
21
00:01:32,761 --> 00:01:34,267
Barclay.
22
00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:35,380
Beg-Chetwynde.
23
00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:36,660
Wh...
What's that?
24
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,801
That's me.
Barclay Beg-Chetwynde.
25
00:01:38,862 --> 00:01:40,205
From next door.
26
00:01:40,266 --> 00:01:41,478
We have a next door?
27
00:01:41,539 --> 00:01:43,242
Yes, about a mile that way.
28
00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:45,682
I own the...
You know the village?
29
00:01:45,759 --> 00:01:47,700
- Yeah.
- Yes, I own that.
30
00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:51,260
We summer in Tuscany,
but got back and saw you'd moved in.
31
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,340
Thought I should come say how do?
32
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:57,257
Right. Yeah. I'm Alison, and this is Mike.
Sorry, come in.
33
00:01:57,333 --> 00:01:58,533
Thank you.
34
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:06,020
- What you say?
- Tally. Tally.
35
00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:07,900
Must have seen a ghost.
36
00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:13,100
Didn't you know?
This place absolutely riddled with them.
37
00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:16,740
So legend has it.
There's a lady falls from a window
38
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:18,723
- in the west wing.
- East wing.
39
00:02:18,784 --> 00:02:20,370
- Dressed in white.
- Grey.
40
00:02:20,431 --> 00:02:21,735
- Georgian.
- Edwardian.
41
00:02:21,796 --> 00:02:23,889
Attractive.
Early 20s.
42
00:02:25,912 --> 00:02:29,137
And a strange creature
that roams the grounds,
43
00:02:29,198 --> 00:02:31,734
half man, half ape.
44
00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:38,079
- Well, I haven't seen anything.
- No.
45
00:02:38,140 --> 00:02:40,420
- No, he hasn't.
- It's probably all tosh and piffle.
46
00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:44,418
Anyway, reason I called,
incepto ne desistam...
47
00:02:44,479 --> 00:02:46,740
I remember this berk.
48
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,380
Met him at a party fundraiser here
back in the day.
49
00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:52,180
Rich as Croesus.
Loves the sound of his own voice.
50
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:56,180
Which reminds me of a very funny story
I heard once on a golf course.
51
00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:58,380
Now, there was Brucie.
That's Brucie Forsyth...
52
00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:00,060
Guys.
Guys, anecdote.
53
00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:02,140
Anecdote alert, right in the middle of one.
54
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:07,161
Now, it doesn't really affect
your grounds inside the gates,
55
00:03:07,222 --> 00:03:11,340
but the path outside the gates is on my deed,
56
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:15,791
so, technically, you have to cross
a strip of my land
57
00:03:15,852 --> 00:03:18,340
every time you enter your house.
58
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:20,340
We had no idea.
59
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,260
It's a simple thing to sort out,
60
00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:26,202
but probably worth a quick powwow
at some point.
61
00:03:26,263 --> 00:03:29,700
- Yeah, sure. Well, we'll...
- Maybe you could come to dinner some time?
62
00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:31,780
Splendid idea.
See you at eight.
63
00:03:31,841 --> 00:03:33,193
I'm free.
64
00:03:34,687 --> 00:03:36,860
I'll bring a Pelaverga.
65
00:03:37,762 --> 00:03:41,260
- What's a...?
- And Bunny can't eat beef.
66
00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:44,420
Well, she can, but she shouldn't,
if you know what I mean.
67
00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:49,567
Right, once more unto the breach.
Come along, bitches.
68
00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:53,180
Is that all of them?
69
00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:55,700
Never mind.
What did you do that for?
70
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,100
Because he's got some weird claim
over our driveway,
71
00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,980
so we should probably keep him sweet.
72
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,780
Besides, he's our way in.
73
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:05,180
- To what?
- Society, Mike. We're posh now.
74
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:06,700
We should be mixing with other poshos.
75
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:08,780
- But he is awful.
- So?
76
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:11,224
Some awful people have really nice friends.
77
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:12,780
I mean, look at your mate Greg.
78
00:04:13,105 --> 00:04:15,120
- What's wrong with Greg?
- Nothing.
79
00:04:16,588 --> 00:04:19,300
Hello, girl.
You're lovely, in't you?
80
00:04:20,709 --> 00:04:24,100
It's worth it.
Hello, girl.
81
00:04:28,479 --> 00:04:30,140
I can't touch any more.
82
00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:55,560
Um... book?
Film?
83
00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,100
Five words.
The Importance Of Being Earnest.
84
00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:00,380
Great Expectations.
85
00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:01,620
Tootsie.
Tootsie.
86
00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:03,420
Tootsie.
Tootsie. Tootsie.
87
00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:05,660
It's Tootsie. Tootsie.
It's Tootsie.
88
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:07,220
Tootsie.
Tootsie.
89
00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:08,620
Stop saying Tootsie.
90
00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:10,420
What be a tootsie?
91
00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:11,740
Round...
92
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,260
er, covering...
93
00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:16,580
- It's an eclipse.
- Eclipse.
94
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:18,940
- Moonah eclipse.
- God, not this again.
95
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:22,020
- Must we humour this bull calf?
- It's absolutely asinine.
96
00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:25,820
It is a wonderful group activity,
and he doesn't ask for much.
97
00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:27,380
Well, he can't ask for much.
98
00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:29,340
Hey.
Me speak good.
99
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:32,060
Well. Me speak well.
I.
100
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:34,740
I'm not actually free tonight,
but I could do Thursday.
101
00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:36,460
No.
Eclipse is tonight.
102
00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:37,940
All right, all right, all right.
103
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,220
We'll do it, provided I can do the reading.
104
00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:41,796
Not a chance, sir.
105
00:05:41,857 --> 00:05:43,460
Me always do the reading.
106
00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,100
- I...
- Very well.
107
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:46,660
We'll put it to the vote.
108
00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:50,492
Who would you like to hear speak more,
me or Thomas?
109
00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:55,635
Be there a third option?
110
00:05:59,016 --> 00:06:00,860
Yeah, that is pretty much what I thought.
111
00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:03,140
Torn thing of peas and a frozen lasagne.
112
00:06:03,537 --> 00:06:04,740
Make your lasagne.
113
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,973
Mike, my lasagne is frozen lasagne.
I'm not serving them that.
114
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:10,488
I don't want them thinking that we're
the sort of that people that we are.
115
00:06:10,548 --> 00:06:12,060
Well, what do posh people eat?
116
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:13,940
- Turtle soup.
- No.
117
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,500
- What?
- Turtle soup.
118
00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:16,780
Yeah.
No.
119
00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:19,420
- Oyster rissoles?
- Oyster rissoles?
120
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:22,354
You don't like shellfish, and
I'm not eating anything's rissole.
121
00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:23,980
I don't think it means
what you think it means.
122
00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:26,860
What about pheasant?
123
00:06:27,245 --> 00:06:28,660
What?
124
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,604
Up a bit.
Left a bit.
125
00:06:30,665 --> 00:06:32,097
Can't we just go to the shops?
126
00:06:32,158 --> 00:06:33,580
No, we haven't got time.
Just concentrate.
127
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,802
Down a bit.
A bit more.
128
00:06:36,443 --> 00:06:38,780
Bit more.
Bit more...
129
00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:41,500
- Do you want to do it?
- You lost the toss.
130
00:06:41,747 --> 00:06:43,867
- Little bit more.
- Bit more.
131
00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:47,220
- I don't think I can do...
- Fire, fire, fire. Go.
132
00:06:48,773 --> 00:06:50,780
Gleaming bundook op from the civvy.
133
00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:53,333
We'll have him out boshing Jerry in no time.
134
00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:55,380
- What did he say?
- No idea.
135
00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,660
And then something racist.
136
00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:00,300
There's a hare.
There's a hare. There's a hare.
137
00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:02,740
- He says, there's a hare.
- There's a hare. Pom-pom.
138
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,940
This is grim.
Why did I have to pluck it?
139
00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:12,540
In the oven for 20 minutes.
140
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,100
No, you have to de-gloves the gizzards.
141
00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:17,900
Well, it doesn't say that here
and, no offence, Mary,
142
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,740
but I trust the book more than you...
My God.
143
00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:22,820
Gizzards.
144
00:07:25,844 --> 00:07:29,030
Right, you're in charge of the pheasant.
145
00:07:29,091 --> 00:07:31,099
Call me when it looks done.
146
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:34,700
- Done.
- OK, I'm going to change into...
147
00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:36,100
What do posh people wear?
148
00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:38,263
- Crowns?
- I'm asking the wrong person.
149
00:07:38,324 --> 00:07:40,224
Yes, yeah.
150
00:07:41,063 --> 00:07:42,823
That smells gamey.
151
00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:50,940
Left a bit...
No, right a bit.
152
00:07:51,735 --> 00:07:53,980
- No, left a bit...
- It's fine.
153
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,460
It's amazing, isn't it,
154
00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:58,759
to think, a sacred site right here
for all those years?
155
00:07:58,820 --> 00:08:02,561
- Your own little Stonehenge.
- No. Stonehenge copied.
156
00:08:02,622 --> 00:08:04,140
- OK. All right, all right.
- Well.
157
00:08:04,201 --> 00:08:07,260
Settle down.
Now, the eclipse itself will be at...
158
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,780
Dong-dong-dong...
159
00:08:09,193 --> 00:08:11,380
- ...dong-dong-dong...
- Robin.
160
00:08:11,441 --> 00:08:13,481
Yes, thank you, Robin.
161
00:08:13,542 --> 00:08:14,789
We got it the first time.
162
00:08:15,418 --> 00:08:18,500
It'll be at 2100.
Nine o'clock.
163
00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:20,802
Now, I trust everyone remembers the drill?
164
00:08:20,863 --> 00:08:24,317
- I, of course, will be doing the reading...
- Farcical. It should be I... Me.
165
00:08:24,370 --> 00:08:27,594
Based on Robin's recollection
of the original ritual.
166
00:08:27,655 --> 00:08:32,620
Er, thank be to moonah.
Good light in sky...
167
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:35,660
Loosely based. Any questions?
Excellent.
168
00:08:35,743 --> 00:08:38,733
And, as always, our muster point
will be right...
169
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,826
- here.
- Moonah stone.
170
00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:54,215
No, you heathen.
Spoon on the outside, spoon on the outside.
171
00:08:54,276 --> 00:08:55,756
I can't look.
172
00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:59,215
Is that what you're wearing?
Me?
173
00:08:59,276 --> 00:09:00,580
You look like Downton Abbey.
174
00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:02,020
Abbey's not a character, Mike.
175
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:05,820
And, for your information, this is
entirely appropriate evening attire
176
00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:08,860
for entertaining guests of such
refined social standing.
177
00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:11,580
The Beg-Chetwyndes are
de-facto gatekeepers
178
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:15,060
for the county's social calendar,
and are possessing of a very fine...
179
00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:16,400
I know what you're doing.
180
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:18,660
Fine.
181
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:20,940
But I am reliably informed that this
is how posh people dress,
182
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,660
so I'm sorry, but I'm not changing anything.
183
00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:24,662
I'll put on a shirt if you lose the pearls.
184
00:09:24,723 --> 00:09:25,943
Yep, OK.
185
00:09:28,146 --> 00:09:29,346
Hurry up.
186
00:09:29,407 --> 00:09:31,700
They're here, they're here.
How do I look?
187
00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,140
The same, Kitty.
188
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,111
And remember, don't...
Just don't.
189
00:09:35,172 --> 00:09:37,180
This is important to us.
190
00:09:38,088 --> 00:09:39,820
Annabel.
191
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,500
Alison. This is Bunny.
Bunny, this is Annabel.
192
00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:44,625
Alison.
Sorry we're early, I drove here.
193
00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:46,940
Yeah.
194
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:48,500
Michael, Bunny.
195
00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:50,380
Bunny, Michael.
196
00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:52,780
Smashing shirt.
Who is it?
197
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:54,260
It's me?
198
00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:57,060
And I'm Kitty.
I'm wearing what I died in.
199
00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:58,660
Splendid to welcome you.
200
00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:00,580
Please do come in on...
on in through.
201
00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:01,686
Super.
202
00:10:01,763 --> 00:10:03,585
Bunny's been so looking forward
to meeting you.
203
00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:04,865
Have I?
204
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:09,540
Et voila.
Pelaverga.
205
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:12,180
Let me see. Let me see it.
206
00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:14,260
- Let me see.
- Thank you. That is most kind.
207
00:10:17,677 --> 00:10:20,820
I am so sorry.
208
00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:22,780
My wife recently had a head injury,
209
00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:25,601
which has caused some of
her behaviour to be a little...
210
00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:30,340
Mike, why don't you pop down to the cellar
211
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,543
and try and find us another bottle of wine?
212
00:10:32,604 --> 00:10:35,160
- Er, yeah...
- And I can show our guests through.
213
00:10:35,221 --> 00:10:36,700
Do come in on.
214
00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:39,020
The building work is still under way,
215
00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:40,946
- so you may have to adjust your...
- Bra strap.
216
00:10:41,006 --> 00:10:42,446
Bra strap.
Expectations.
217
00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:52,841
So, indeed, they advised myself
218
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:56,100
to just sell the house without
even seeing it, but I said...
219
00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:57,991
Don't speak with your mouth full.
220
00:11:12,768 --> 00:11:14,408
But I said that...
221
00:11:15,768 --> 00:11:17,068
Sorry, it's gone.
222
00:11:17,691 --> 00:11:21,039
So, yeah, the idea is to turn it
into a hotel.
223
00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:24,103
An 'otel?
Could be a nice little earner.
224
00:11:24,164 --> 00:11:26,580
- Well, it will not be easy, but...
- Elbows.
225
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,700
I think we're on top of things.
226
00:11:29,859 --> 00:11:31,380
♪ Me, me, me. ♪
227
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,300
What's louder, me or that?
228
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,900
♪ Me, me, me. ♪
229
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:40,121
Sorry, I just need to go and have
a word with my... myself.
230
00:11:40,913 --> 00:11:42,182
♪ Me... ♪
231
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,220
Who's had that?
232
00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:51,380
Mary. Didn't you smell burning?
233
00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:54,580
I always smells burning.
234
00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:04,555
Would you eat that?
235
00:12:04,616 --> 00:12:08,088
Well, I hasn't eaten in 400 years,
236
00:12:08,149 --> 00:12:10,620
but no.
237
00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:12,220
Maybe I can salvage it?
238
00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:15,620
- That's burnt. And I'd know.
- Right.
239
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:18,660
Where's the, um...?
240
00:12:19,141 --> 00:12:21,060
Voila.
Pheasant stew.
241
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,660
Right, you watch this.
I've got to get back up there
242
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:26,700
- and convince them I haven't lost my marbles.
- What are marbles?
243
00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,095
- Just call me when it's reduced.
- Right.
244
00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:32,660
Reduced to what?
245
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:38,820
Sorry about that.
246
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:40,620
Er, cremated the pheasant.
247
00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:42,660
But all sorted now.
248
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:46,231
So, um, let's just pretend that this
evening so far never happened,
249
00:12:46,292 --> 00:12:47,707
and start right...
250
00:12:56,416 --> 00:12:58,540
So, Alison...
251
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:00,540
- Annabel.
- Annabel.
252
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:05,260
And now thanks be to the wondrous moon
253
00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:09,500
and the guiding light it giveth
between 2100 hours...
254
00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:10,900
Dramatic pause.
255
00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:14,599
Take a breath.
Give it some light and shade.
256
00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:18,700
Blessed moon as spied from the Earth.
257
00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:20,740
Bright as thine eyes.
258
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,540
Round as thine eyes.
259
00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:25,973
Yet too far apart, like thine...
260
00:13:26,034 --> 00:13:27,740
No, I don't mean your eyes, I mean...
261
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:29,340
Thorne.
I'm doing the reading.
262
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:30,598
I won the vote.
263
00:13:30,659 --> 00:13:33,288
To be fair, it was very close
and entirely non-binding.
264
00:13:33,349 --> 00:13:35,229
Wouldn't you say?
265
00:13:39,474 --> 00:13:41,300
Yes, I wouldn't.
266
00:13:43,582 --> 00:13:44,810
Or would I?
267
00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:55,820
I... I was saying to Mike...
268
00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:57,460
Just this morning...
269
00:13:57,520 --> 00:14:01,500
it's been unseasonably warm
for the time of year. Bread?
270
00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:02,840
No, thank you.
271
00:14:03,326 --> 00:14:06,108
A lady does not raise her voice
in polite company.
272
00:14:13,657 --> 00:14:17,060
Stew update.
All the water's turned to clouds.
273
00:14:21,630 --> 00:14:22,860
Is it a bad time?
274
00:14:23,985 --> 00:14:26,620
Mike.
Bit of a problem with the old...
275
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:30,740
electrics again. Maybe you should
show our guests the fuse box.
276
00:14:30,973 --> 00:14:32,620
Um, yeah.
277
00:14:32,919 --> 00:14:34,136
The fuse box.
278
00:14:34,197 --> 00:14:36,940
Right, fuse box. Yeah.
This way, then, guys.
279
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,300
Yeah.
280
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,220
Right.
281
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:49,340
I'll come back.
282
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:52,982
Now, you listen to me. I don't know
what's going on here, but... Kitty.
283
00:14:54,868 --> 00:14:57,900
But it stops right now,
because I'm having a dinner party,
284
00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:00,380
which should be clear from the fact
that I'm having a dinner party.
285
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:02,500
But this moonah eclipse very special.
286
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:04,100
I don't care what it is.
287
00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:05,740
It stops right now.
288
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:07,500
Now, hang on a moment.
289
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:11,220
This is a time-honoured ritual
that means a great deal to Robin
290
00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:13,664
and, frankly, I think
he deserves a little respect.
291
00:15:13,725 --> 00:15:16,140
- Yes. Moonah is...
- Shut up, Robin.
292
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:17,980
The point is, we were here first,
293
00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:20,700
so maybe you lot should take your leave.
294
00:15:21,041 --> 00:15:22,101
No.
295
00:15:22,162 --> 00:15:24,580
This is my house now
and I'm not going anywhere.
296
00:15:24,903 --> 00:15:27,220
Well, neither are we.
297
00:15:27,443 --> 00:15:28,803
Quite right.
298
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:30,960
Sorry.
299
00:15:32,507 --> 00:15:33,849
Wait there.
300
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:37,220
Right.
Stand firm, everybody.
301
00:15:37,281 --> 00:15:40,371
I don't know what she has in her arsenal,
but we shall remain resolute
302
00:15:40,432 --> 00:15:42,395
against the tyranny that is...
303
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,916
What in the name of St Cuthbert?
304
00:15:48,977 --> 00:15:50,899
It's all the colours at once.
305
00:15:51,448 --> 00:15:52,820
But what does it do?
306
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:54,980
I'm so glad you asked.
307
00:15:55,305 --> 00:15:56,694
Come this way.
308
00:15:58,133 --> 00:15:59,881
But, no, wait...
309
00:15:59,942 --> 00:16:01,837
- It's a compact disc.
- Guys.
310
00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:04,482
But it's moonah.
311
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:13,043
And last but not least, we have this one,
312
00:16:13,104 --> 00:16:16,499
- which is "west wing socks."
- Sockets.
313
00:16:17,581 --> 00:16:19,660
Yeah.
That makes more sense.
314
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:23,620
And I think that is all the fuses
I can show you.
315
00:16:23,882 --> 00:16:25,540
- Fascinating.
- Yeah.
316
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:28,740
To be honest, there's not really
anything that fabulous down here.
317
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,460
Speak for yourself.
318
00:16:31,651 --> 00:16:32,900
Plonk.
319
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:36,112
- Clearly a connoisseur.
- I'll grab another bottle.
320
00:16:36,173 --> 00:16:38,260
Actually, while we've got a moment,
321
00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:41,740
perhaps we could just discuss
the whole access issue?
322
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:43,180
- I don't...
- Splendid.
323
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:46,940
Now, the former owner and I just had
a gentleman's agreement,
324
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,620
but if you're going to run this
place as a business,
325
00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:53,260
you probably want something a bit
more official in place,
326
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:55,181
- financially speaking.
- Um...
327
00:16:55,242 --> 00:17:00,400
So, what if I were to sign over
access rights to you for...
328
00:17:00,461 --> 00:17:03,780
What shall we say?
I don't know. 20?
329
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:05,300
20?
330
00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:06,900
20's fine.
331
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:09,010
Wonderful.
332
00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:10,900
And since we're all friends now,
333
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:13,980
let's call it 19,500.
334
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:16,820
Sorry.
335
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:18,580
Less 30 quid for that.
336
00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:24,620
Wow.
Look at the quality.
337
00:17:24,941 --> 00:17:26,620
Knocks the socks off of Betamax.
338
00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:28,580
It's called Friends.
It's a comedy.
339
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:29,980
Like Vanity Fair.
340
00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,660
No, that's a magazine.
And this is a box set. So,
341
00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:34,043
plenty more where that came from.
342
00:17:34,103 --> 00:17:36,540
Have fun, don't leave the room and...
343
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,242
Don't leave the room.
344
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:43,900
It just appears to be five people
sitting around on a sofa.
345
00:17:44,463 --> 00:17:47,420
What's so amusing about...?
Hello.
346
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,120
Who is this?
347
00:17:51,150 --> 00:17:53,518
- Annabel.
- Sorry, sorry, won't be a moment.
348
00:17:53,579 --> 00:17:54,740
No hurry.
349
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:57,784
- OK. Slight problem.
- And it was going so well.
350
00:17:57,845 --> 00:17:59,731
Yeah.
So you know the whole access thing?
351
00:17:59,792 --> 00:18:02,420
Barclay said that we could have
the rights for 20 grand.
352
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:04,393
Ha. Yeah.
Dream on, mate.
353
00:18:04,454 --> 00:18:07,743
Yeah. I know, right?
The thing is, I think I shook on it.
354
00:18:07,804 --> 00:18:09,420
- What?
- Well, he held his hand out.
355
00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:11,721
What was I supposed to do?
Not shake it?
356
00:18:11,782 --> 00:18:13,860
- Yes.
- I can't do that. It's too awkward.
357
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,980
If someone puts their hand out,
I always shake it.
358
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:17,860
Can this evening get any worse?
359
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:22,860
Right. Stew news.
I believes it has reduced.
360
00:18:25,613 --> 00:18:27,525
That is beyond reduced.
361
00:18:27,586 --> 00:18:31,047
Yeah, I've got to be honest,
I don't know what "reduced" means.
362
00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:35,992
Yeah.
363
00:18:36,053 --> 00:18:38,695
Well, that was wonderful.
364
00:18:38,756 --> 00:18:41,820
- Yes.
- However do you get it so square?
365
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:44,300
Secret, I'm afraid.
Old family recipe.
366
00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:47,580
- Another.
- No, come on, Buns, you've had enough.
367
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:50,300
Right, then, port and poker.
368
00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:51,608
Money on the table.
369
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:55,180
Actually, talking of money...
About the access thing...
370
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:58,625
That's all sorted.
Worked something out with your fella here.
371
00:18:58,686 --> 00:18:59,900
Come on.
372
00:18:59,961 --> 00:19:01,540
Good lad.
373
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:04,300
Right, am I dealing everyone in?
374
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:06,340
- Yep.
- I'm afraid we don't play.
375
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,245
I play.
I'm a player.
376
00:19:09,703 --> 00:19:13,293
- I'm not sure you are, Mike.
- I am a player.
377
00:19:13,762 --> 00:19:14,996
OK.
378
00:19:16,313 --> 00:19:18,774
Right, well, I guess I'm getting
the port, then.
379
00:19:18,835 --> 00:19:20,075
Deal.
380
00:19:22,654 --> 00:19:24,630
There we go.
That's yours...
381
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:32,820
Dear.
382
00:19:33,153 --> 00:19:34,913
I've lost 100 quid.
383
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:40,280
- Beginner's luck, I assure you.
- Another hand?
384
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:51,020
She is beguiling, the Lady Rachel.
385
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:54,083
Is it her hair?
Perhaps it's her hair.
386
00:19:54,144 --> 00:19:56,107
There's something about her hair.
387
00:19:56,168 --> 00:19:59,660
I'm Phoebe.
And Lady Button's Monica.
388
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,180
And the Captain's Ross.
389
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:04,580
What?
No. I'm clearly Chandler.
390
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:06,035
It's a dry wit, but it's there.
391
00:20:06,096 --> 00:20:08,676
I'm sorry, did we zip our lips?
I think we zipped our lips.
392
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:24,660
♪ There'll be a light ♪
393
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:27,321
♪ In the dark... ♪
394
00:20:28,199 --> 00:20:31,528
Robin.
We're watching Friends here, mate.
395
00:20:31,589 --> 00:20:33,620
Right, I need your help.
396
00:20:34,247 --> 00:20:35,540
No, no, no.
It's important.
397
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:39,660
As is this.
My empathy's hewn betwixt lovelorn Ross
398
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:42,100
and Joey, the Veronan lothario.
399
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:44,300
- No, you don't understand...
- No, young lady,
400
00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:45,700
you do not understand.
401
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:49,689
You cannot banish us with one breath, and
then demand our reinforcement with the next.
402
00:20:49,750 --> 00:20:52,220
No moonah stone, no help lady.
403
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,820
- Come on. Surely one of you will...?
- Alison.
404
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:59,913
Just to check,
can I stops watching the pot now?
405
00:21:01,079 --> 00:21:05,624
- I can't play gambles.
- No, no, you don't need to.
406
00:21:05,685 --> 00:21:08,220
Just look at his cards
and tell me what you see.
407
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:09,860
Yeah?
408
00:21:13,405 --> 00:21:14,910
Sorry.
Needed a wee.
409
00:21:14,971 --> 00:21:17,380
Better out than in.
I've dealt you a hand.
410
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:19,220
Great.
Great, great, great.
411
00:21:22,236 --> 00:21:24,781
In fact, why don't we make
this interesting?
412
00:21:25,585 --> 00:21:27,120
Double or nothing.
413
00:21:27,181 --> 00:21:29,900
If you win the game, then we you
pay double what you wanted
414
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:32,060
- for access to our drive.
- What?
415
00:21:32,121 --> 00:21:33,419
40,000?
416
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,180
And if I lose?
417
00:21:36,895 --> 00:21:38,769
You sign it over for free.
418
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:42,363
You're trying to bluff me.
419
00:21:42,424 --> 00:21:45,466
Nice try, but nothing gets past me,
Annabel.
420
00:21:45,527 --> 00:21:48,078
- You're on.
- Are you insane?
421
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:56,220
Right.
422
00:21:57,346 --> 00:21:59,220
Yeah.
423
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:02,700
There's a person whose blanket
is also a person,
424
00:22:03,046 --> 00:22:07,553
but it's upside down
and be like they've had a quarrel.
425
00:22:07,614 --> 00:22:10,399
There's a number more than three
426
00:22:10,460 --> 00:22:13,468
but with a shape that's like a loaf,
427
00:22:13,529 --> 00:22:16,889
but it's on its side,
on the end of a wrong stick.
428
00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:21,460
Just pop a cheque in the post.
429
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,112
Or a banker's draft, whatever's easier.
430
00:22:24,173 --> 00:22:26,213
Was I wearing shoes?
431
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:30,140
Honestly.
Can't take her anywhere.
432
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:32,820
Come on.
Silly moo.
433
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:33,961
There you are.
434
00:22:34,022 --> 00:22:37,820
Now, it's saying to load
the next disc into the...
435
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:40,180
We need disc two.
Where's disc two?
436
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:43,820
Forget it, OK?
Thanks to you, we just lost £40,000.
437
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:46,100
What?
What did we do?
438
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:47,866
Nothing.
That's the whole point.
439
00:22:47,927 --> 00:22:50,947
40 grand?
To that gasbag?
440
00:22:51,008 --> 00:22:53,140
What did you do, play him at poker?
441
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:55,380
She did.
442
00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:58,819
Sorry, just to clarify,
that was a firm answer on disc two?
443
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:02,500
Word of advice, never play someone
who can afford to lose.
444
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:05,740
Not as if he needs the money either.
Unless it's for legal fees.
445
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:09,860
Maybe they've finally found out
about that bank account in Fiji.
446
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:19,940
- Now, keys.
- Not sure you should drive, Buns.
447
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,560
No. I'm fine.
Look.
448
00:23:27,346 --> 00:23:29,339
- I stand corrected.
- Yep.
449
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:32,820
- Thank you for a lovely evening, Annabel.
- Alison.
450
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:36,540
And no hard feelings
about the whole, you know?
451
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:38,700
No, no, no, no, a deal's a deal.
452
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:41,620
- I was thinking of doing a bank transfer.
- Ooh. Very modern.
453
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,140
I'll "e-mail" you my details.
454
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:45,740
Great, great.
455
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:48,528
And is that for your current account
or the Fiji account?
456
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:51,549
What's the Fiji account?
457
00:23:54,628 --> 00:23:56,180
You know what?
458
00:23:56,534 --> 00:24:00,940
What's a little card game
between friends?
459
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:05,700
Let's... Let's just forget this
silly money nonsense.
460
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:08,512
I'll sign over the access rights to you
461
00:24:08,573 --> 00:24:12,797
gratis and pop the papers in the post
first thing.
462
00:24:12,858 --> 00:24:14,458
Come along, Bunny.
463
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:19,840
Was that lasagne beef?
464
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:24,850
How did you know he had a...?
465
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:28,500
Thank you.
466
00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:30,279
They're not here.
467
00:24:30,340 --> 00:24:32,060
They're upstairs watching Friends.
468
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:35,420
- This place is weird.
- Yeah.
469
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:37,060
Look out, Bunny, that's the gate.
470
00:24:37,120 --> 00:24:39,020
I can see it.
471
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:41,340
Still, that's one problem sol...
472
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:54,220
I mean, I didn't like that
pigeon, but that is no way to go.
473
00:24:54,552 --> 00:24:56,499
- Better than being shot.
- Yeah.
474
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,020
No second disc, guys.
475
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:11,560
Could that BE any more vexing?
476
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:17,040
You all right, mate?
477
00:25:19,406 --> 00:25:22,270
What is it, you know, about the moon?
478
00:25:22,619 --> 00:25:24,219
Why do you care so much?
479
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:29,106
Before you was moonah.
480
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:32,750
Before house was moonah.
481
00:25:33,749 --> 00:25:35,210
Everything come,
482
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:37,206
everything go.
483
00:25:38,167 --> 00:25:39,840
But always there.
484
00:25:41,061 --> 00:25:42,621
Moonah.
485
00:25:45,365 --> 00:25:48,478
The only thing that's been here
as long as you have.
486
00:26:01,619 --> 00:26:03,319
Several of cubs.
487
00:26:03,380 --> 00:26:05,380
- Getting closer.
- Knock-knock.
488
00:26:06,584 --> 00:26:08,620
I say that cos I can't, erm...
489
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:10,900
I just wanted to say sorry...
490
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:13,406
for what happened at dinner.
From all of us.
491
00:26:13,688 --> 00:26:16,020
Well, mainly from me, because
Julian can take or leave you,
492
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,660
and Lady Button's not keen,
and as for the Captain, well...
493
00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:21,180
Pat, it's fine.
I mean, well, no, it isn't.
494
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:23,260
But we'll muddle through.
495
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:24,900
Eight of hearts.
496
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:26,060
Yeah.
497
00:26:26,120 --> 00:26:30,406
Yeah.
In that spirit, so to speak,
498
00:26:30,467 --> 00:26:33,467
I actually had a little favour
I wanted to ask.
499
00:26:34,453 --> 00:26:35,753
It's for Robin.
500
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:44,900
Right, so, are you going
to get the ghosts or...?
501
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:46,228
They're here.
502
00:26:47,076 --> 00:26:49,564
We might've missed
the ritual this year, but...
503
00:26:50,046 --> 00:26:51,246
Well...
504
00:26:51,727 --> 00:26:53,552
to old friends.
505
00:26:53,613 --> 00:26:55,588
- To old friends.
- Old friends.
506
00:26:55,649 --> 00:26:57,234
God, I miss booze.
507
00:26:59,962 --> 00:27:02,169
Robin, light pollution.
508
00:27:02,903 --> 00:27:04,260
Yeah.
509
00:27:13,862 --> 00:27:16,460
Pray tell, how you doing?
510
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,400
No, don't.
511
00:27:22,186 --> 00:27:26,786
Synced & corrected by minouhse
www.addic7ed.com
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