Original subtitles

Ballmastrz!

"Very Special Balls!"

Don't close your eye holes or you'll miss

what everyone is laughing about.

The lowly Leptons unveiled their new super suit.

What the hell is it?!

But whatever it is, those dum-dums still found a way

to screw it up.

Let's go live to a press conference

with Ulsa Guerin's metazone commissioner Buddy Marinara.

What was that secret weapon? What else can it do?!

Ace, everyone wants to know, do you have a girlfriend?

- Uh... - All right, one at a time!

You really think we're gonna spill the beans

on our new advantage?

Ace, when can we see it again?

Um, I'm not really sure.

Ha, he's not really sure you can handle it.

This is a new chapter in the history of the Leptons.

The best is yet to come!

Did someone say come?

I thought you'd never ask!

Baby Ball has entered the building.

Baby Ball, how does it feel to be the biggest name in balls?

When you got it, you got it.

And when I bless Ace with my secret sauce,

well, you all saw what we can do.

Damn, it feels good to Ballmaster!

Right, ladies?

"Ballmaster"?

I like the sound of that.

Call him what it is... A robo-dork!

We still lost, and we still suck butts!

Gaz Digzy, you're drunk!

I don't get drunk, I just get way more fun.

Now, tell us all about this ball-muncher thing

that you don't know crap about.

Ballmaster. And it's gonna be a game-changer

when Ace and Baby Ball...

Aw, those two ass-butts couldn't form a wet fart.

They can't do it again

'cause they don't even know they did it the first time!

To be completely honest...

Of course they know how to do it again.

And to prove it, tomorrow night,

Ballmaster will take on the Xythryll!

The unspeakable horror that is the Xythryll?!

That's crazy talk!

It's on! Set your alarm, call your bookie,

'cause tomorrow night, our Ballmaster is gonna bring

the hurt-down on the Xythryll!

Or my name isn't Buddy Marinara.

Nothing, again!

Ace, I'd appreciate it if you stop making this so difficult.

I just don't get it.

What are we doing wrong?

I knew it was a fluke!

There are two kinds of athletes: snots and turds.

Turds come out of nowhere but fall off quickly.

Snots... like me... Stick around for a long time.

We're the glue that holds the team together.

Sorry, turds!

Admit that you stink and it ain't gonna happen again.

Oh, it's gonna happen.

I've already spent every cent of our marketing budget

to make sure every eyeball on the planet is on us tonight.

Which one of you garbage hicks is gonna fill me in

on what the hell a Xythryll is?

A Xythryll... An abomination of nature!

The Xythryll is a monstrous creature

that haunts decommissioned filth-millery 9666.

It began with an abandoned pet,

a forsaken chinchilla flushed into the sewers.

Then a steady diet of radioactive toxic trash

mutated it into a brutally efficient killing machine!

No one's seen its entire body,

only glimpsed its frightening,

deadly appendages as they break the surface filth.

Every now and then, some unlucky teenagers go missing

on a dare to explore its den,

never to return.

The Xythryll is no joke!

So y'all better figure out this Ballmaster formation business,

'cause we've already sold every seat in the house!

Well, I'll be sort of sorry if this Xythryll thing

tears you two limb from limb.

But you can go to your grave

knowing Gaz Digzy saw through your bullshit.

For the love of Krayzar, I'm way too sexy

to get devoured by a trash-monster!

Krayzar, that's it!

Krayzar's gotta know the secret to forming a Ballmaster.

Let's ask him!

Good luck with that!

He doesn't exactly make it easy.

I hope you don't have to have a pure heart to enter,

'cause I've been into some weird stuff lately.

What do we do, knock or something?

Two guesses to cross this gate,

the great will save us from the rat wars' fate.

What does Krayzar miss the most

from, like, before the world was toast?

A riddle key! What does Krayzar miss most?

That's a toughie.

- Titties. - Wrong.

Nine guesses. - Spaghetti!

Eight guesses!

I was gonna say "spaghetti."

- Seven guesses. - Slow down and think.

Well, I haven't had a margarita in a minute.

Six guesses.

Clearly this is a trick question.

"What does he miss the most?"

Miss Brazil... final answer.

Nope, wrong. Five guesses.

- Long walks on the beach. - Four.

- Short walks in the woods! - Three.

Rolling down a hill for no reason.

- Two guesses. - Stop!

Those still exist!

One guess remains.

Everyone huddle up. We only have one guess left.

♪♪

How'd that little freak do that?

Silence!

Bob, you did it!

Whoa!

Well, well, well! Look what the portal sucked in.

Please, dine with me.

Don't have to ask us twice!

Big deal!

I've seen better spreads at nudie bars.

Go ahead. I know you're dying to ask.

What happened to us in that last game.

What did we become?

A Ballmaster, of course.

During the Rad Warz, special soldiers were paired

with artificially intelligent weapons called death orbs.

Their brain waves were engineered to synchronize,

allowing them to do wonderful things together.

Their most powerful ability

was to combine the technology weapons of the old

with the genetic material of the soldier,

creating a super-weapon known as Ballmaster.

Just like us, Baby Ball.

Nothing like us, specifically the bad-ass codpiece part,

which is all me.

They were incredibly powerful

and had the ability to create Ballmaster formations,

variations in their size, shape, and weaponry.

And this required a great cunning

and discipline to master...

But could also be highly unpredictable and dangerous

in the hands of an unskilled pilot.

These two are the foster children of unskilled.

How long until they kill us all?

She's right! If I were to synch with the ball,

I would create a far-superior Ballmaster formation!

Yeah, right. No offense, Flip,

but you're like a grade-A doofer.

The Rad Warz ravished our world.

The death orbs that weren't destroyed, I scavenged

and used them to create game balls.

I didn't imagine I would ever witness

the power of the Ballmaster again.

And the pairing of orb to soldier

was as unique as a human fingerprint.

It should have been lost to the past...

And it was... Until you two found each other.

Yeah, we rule it!

But how did we do it,

and how do we do it again?

Your brain waves are in

a highly unique state of synchronicity,

opposites that complement each other perfectly!

The living Yin and Yang. Seems chill.

One is super-cool, smart, awesome, and perfect.

Me, obviously. And the other, incredibly dumb.

Hey! Be nice!

You're both stupid!

The secret to forming the Ballmaster

is formation velocity.

Both ball and warrior must let go,

neither in control, yet both in control.

Two become one!

Careful, young warrior.

The Ballmaster can be extremely temperamental...

At times, almost impossible to control.

You got, like, a pamphlet I can look at,

or maybe an instructional video?

You're gonna trust two turds with that ability to form into

an even bigger super-dangerous, destructive dip-shit?

Part of me is terrified of the apocalyptic power they possess.

But the other part of me is, like, "Whatever, man!

This is awesome!"

You really put the "Kray" in Krayzar.

I envy you, Gaz.

You're the one who'll either guide them to victory

or incite Armageddon.

The Ballmaster is in your court.

I'll be watching!

Pervert.

On behalf of of Ulsa Guerin and the mighty mighty Leptons,

I welcome you to a once-in-a-millennia event.

Wow. They look teensy-weensy down there.

Poor suckers don't stand a chance!

Like a moth drawn to a flame, I cannot look away.

Dang!

Where'd she get those nachos?

Fire it up, boys!

Okay, kid, let's do this!

Let go.

Yeah, let go!

Let go.

I'll form the codpiece!

Aah!

Oh! Right in the brains.

Aah!

Pick up your marbles and get moving, Ace!

Whoa!

Ow!

Banzai!

Yes!

Uh-oh!

I don't know what made you so stupid, kid,

but it really works.

One more try.

Ha ha! That's more like it!

Let's smash this creep!

Whoa!

Will you cool it with the speed wobbles?

I can't control it!

Whoa!

Whoa, whoa!

Oh!

The fallen warrior must let go.

Talk to me, Ace!

I'm gonna die between the legs of a moron.

Oh!

Start acting like snots, you turds!

Thank you, Gaz! Very helpful!

No, she's right.

Neither in control, yet both in control.

Two become one.

Two become one!

Are you with me, buddy?!

Yes, I'm with you!

Let's not die!

One becomes three!

Three-card Monte!

Ballmastrz!

Bolo ball drop.

Ballmastrz!

Baby ball in the corner pocket.

Flutter fists of fury!

Time to send this fiend back the the depths of hell!

All right, kid, don't get cocky.

Make it rain pain!

Ballmastrz!

Missed?! All of them?!

I told you not to get cocky, Captain Mo-Mo.

The proof is in the pounding.

Ballmaster rules!

And the whole consortium saw it.

Hey, what's the big idea?

What, that wasn't enough pizzazz for 'em?

You nitwits just unleashed a public menace!

The streets aren't safe!

Oh, I guess we don't know our own strength yet.

Do our lousy team a favor and get the hell out of there

while you're still in one piece. Run!

Roger that, Gaz!

Buddy, Buddy, Buddy boy,

you look like you could use a drink!

Ballmastrz!

Ballmast... Chirp.

♪♪