Original subtitles

(camera rolling)

(upbeat music)

(joyful music)

- Eze!

I'm trying to sleep.

- Guy, what's all this now?

If you want to sleep, go to your own house.

I don't understand how you have bed at home,

but you come and sleep on someone else's couch.

Don't disturb me.

(joyful music)

- Eze, Eze, Eze.

Eze, what are you doing?

- I'm getting ready to live the American dream.

- Eze, how, how?

- In America, the women go to work,

while the men stay at home.

And with the power of this agbo,

I'll be able to trap a woman

that will go to work

while I gladly stay at home.

(bottle shaking)

- Eze, what the heck is this?

- This, this is abo.

- Viagra?

- Don't you ever disrespect me like that.

This can never be compared to Viagra.

If Viagra is a bicycle, agbo, aeroplane.

- (laughs) Right.

- Eddie, you need to believe me,

I'm very serious right now.

See, you think you have plenty girls,

if you service them with this agbo,

all of them will be lining up at your door.

They will lose their mind over you.

Their lives will never remain the same.

- Lemme try it.

- You want to try some agbo?

- Yeah.

- (laughs) Eddie, you will kill somebody's daughter

if you try this, you know.

You will kill somebody's daughter and go to jail.

Okay, I'll give you some,

only on one condition.

- What's the condition?

- You have to teach me how to be rich like you.

- (laughs) You want to be rich like me?

- Of course, why not?

- Okay, okay.

Eze, the number one lesson

will be that you remove this Naija mindset from your head.

- Naija thinking, see.

- We'll do number two tomorrow.

Pour.

- My man. - [Eddie] Pour it.

- You want some agbo? - [Eddie] Pour it.

- I will not come and bail you out of jail

when you kill somebody's daughter.

- Pour it.

- Okay.

(crowd chattering)

- This is really beautiful, baby.

Thanks for bringing me.

What's wrong?

- It's been a really hectic week, you know.

With your mom, now my visa.

(scoffs)

- What?

- I just...

I just imagined what happened if Mrs. Lara Adelana

finds out that her future son-in-law,

who she hates, is about to get kicked out of America.

- Okay, first of all, she does not hate you.

And second of all, I was thinking,

we should just tell her.

I mean, what if she finds out by somebody else

or by other means.

- How's that gonna happen?

- I don't know, I don't know anything about immigration.

You tell me.

- You know what?

Maybe we should just get comfortable

with the idea of a long distant relationship.

- Oh, yeah, yeah, no.

That's not happening.

- Calling cards are really cheap nowadays.

- Okay, stop, that's not funny.

(laughs)

♪ She be with me 'cause you arguing shit ♪

♪ She with me she don't reply to your texts ♪

♪ I'm way too wiped be I'm drowning a bitch ♪

♪ I'm swimming in money might drown in this shit ♪

♪ I'm looking for me a down lil bitch ♪

♪ With the drugs gone up feel like dying and shit ♪

♪ 'Cause I don't fuck with that reality shit ♪

♪ I just get up and get a reality check ♪

- [Dare] Hey, what's with the loud music?

- Can you speak louder, I can't hear you?

- I said, why the loud music?

- Why you whispering?

I can't hear you.

- Why the loud music?

- Is it a crime to live in

and identify with America again?

- How does listening to loud music

help you identify with America?

- You gotta go with the flow, man, yo!

- Babe, you know what?

I'll see you.

- No, babe, wait wait.

- Babe, no, you've got a lot on your plate.

No no no. (faint talking)

♪ I'm swimming in money might drown in this shit ♪

♪ I'm looking for me a down lil bitch ♪

♪ With the drugs gone up feel like dying and shit ♪

♪ 'Cause I don't fuck with that reality shit ♪

♪ I just get up and get a reality check ♪

(subtle music)

(playful music)

- Eddosa (speaks in foreign language)

- Mama.

- What are you doing?

Nothing.

Since you are not doing anything, then put your leg down,

go back into the house, because you are going nowhere.

- Mama, I have to go to work.

Mama, I can't just stay home babysitting.

- Babysitting?

Who is a baby?

- No, Mama.

Mama, that's not what I meant.

- What did you mean? - What I,

what I meant was that this thing that you want me to do,

mommy, it's not going to work.

I can't do it.

- So because we're in America, I cease to be your mother?

- Mommy, I didn't say that.

That's not what I said.

- So, I cannot ask you to do something and you disobey me?

- Mommy, me,

Mommy, I just have to go to work.

- You have to go to work? - I'm going back.

- On a Saturday?

- I work Saturday.

No, no, no, no , no,

Mommy, Mommy, I work Saturdays.

- 24 seven, you work?

- Mommy, I'm working today.

- You are working today?

Well you give me the number of your boss.

Number.

- Yo, yo, hey, hey, hey.

Yo, hey, okay.

Uh huh, yeah, yeah, uh huh.

- Eze.

Hey, Eze!

- Hey, hey, yo, man, chill, man.

What's up, man?

- Why are you sagging?

- It's the swag, yo, man.

Chill, the American swag, yo.

What's wrong with you?

Hey, pick it, shoot it.

- Is that?

Is that my chain? - Huh?

- Is that my watch?

- I'm borrowing it, man, chill.

- And why are you wearing a leather jacket in this heat?

- Is it your heat?

Is it your heat, man?

Don't hate the game, hate the

player, man!

Yeah, truck-a truck-a bang bang.

Yo, okay, American swag.

Everybody knows the tone is la.

I don't even know the words, man.

Hey, swag.

Okay.

I need to learn these words, man.

- Eze, Eze. - Huh?

- Enough of this, okay.

Just stop with the American accents, all right.

- Hey. - I said stop

with the accent.

- I'm just-- - Eze,

if you say one more thing,

I swear I will cross this counter and I will strangle you.

- Tryin'

to.

- Eze, I'm warning you.

- I'm just trying to make my American dream

come true, man.

(pleasant music)

- I'm not sure she told you.

She is a true princess.

- Daddy, please. - Oh, it is true.

My grandfather was the king of Ilesa.

And he ruled for good 27 years.

- Which makes her the daughter of a king.

- And I'm sure

you must know about tradition.

If she was a male, she's qualified to be

the next king if she chooses.

- But of course the (speaks in foreign language)

flows in her veins.

- And if she has a son,

which by God's grace she would,

he automatically qualifies to be the next king.

- Which makes her the mother of the future king.

A queen, to be precise.

- Of an unknown village in Nigeria.

What, yeah, yes, yes, my Queen.

- Of course, I'm sure you also know

that she's not just a princess,

she's highly intelligent and educated.

- A medical doctor.

- Graduated with high honors from high collegiate school,

- Harvard Medical School.

- And this also runs in the family.

I went to Harvard.

So also my dad, and most members of our family.

- Tunde and I met at Yale University

while doing our masters.

- And also, Princess has always hoped to get married

to someone who is as smart and equally qualified as us.

- A neurosurgeon. - Mom.

- No, I thought it was an aeronautical engineer.

- No, it was a surgeon.

But I guess she could settle for a corporate lawyer.

- That's why I'm pretty confident

about her choice of partner.

But we are not here to talk about Princess.

What does your dad do?

- My dad?

- Sure you have one.

- Oh no, I fell out from a...

Yes, yes, Ma.

I, I have a father.

He's a plumber, sir.

- Plumber?

Oh, you mean he designs pipe for?

- Oh no, no, he's a plumber.

- He owns a plumbing company or something?

- No, sir, he knows he works as a plumber, sir.

- Ah, plumber.

- Blocked drainage's, latrines.

- A what?

Interesting.

And what do you do?

- Actually, dad, Dare is an office space manager.

- Manager?

- He's a clerk, a church clerk.

- A church clerk?

- Pretty much, sir.

- I mean, what did you study in school?

- That is if he even went to school.

- You went to college, right?

- Yes, sir.

I studied physical education at the Ogere Polytechnic

in Abeokuta.

- Actually, daddy, Dare's working on

getting his master's soon.

- I am?

Oh, yes.

- I mean, someone must start from somewhere.

Notwithstanding,

what is it you said you wanted to tell us?

- Sir, I came here to

congratulate you

on your daughter's graduation.

(melodramatic music)

- What exactly was that, Dare?

What exactly were you trying

to do in there? - What are you talking about?

- You trying to get my parents to hate you?

- They already hate me.

- You started it.

- Princess, doctor?

What the hell was that about?

- What was what?

- Are you trying to tell me

that you didn't realize what they were doing?

- They were trying to get to know you.

- The humiliated me in there.

Treated me like garbage.

- Don't let that get to you.

They're my parents, what do you expect?

It's gonna take some time for them to warm up to you, Dare.

- How long is it gonna take?

Tell me.

10, 20, 50 years?

- Dare, they've only met you what, one, two times?

- But that's all on you.

You're the one who was trying to hide your relationship.

- How is that on me?

It's not my fault.

- Is it my fault?

- I was just trying to make sure

this drama doesn't happen and now it's happening, Dare.

Now it's happening.

- You know what?

I'm just gonna go.

- Dare!

Dare!

(car engine rolling)

- I think he got the message.

And I just hope to God,

he has some sense not to step into this house again.

- You don't think we went too far?

- Too far? - Yes.

- What does that mean?

(door slams)

Baby?

- Hello.

Eddie.

(speaks in foreign language)

Okay, okay, just, just meet me up by the spot, all right?

Let's go grab a drink.

Yeah, I need a drink really bad.

Guy, just meet there, all right.

(upbeat music)

I didn't even know whether to start laughing or crying.

- Well wait,

what exactly is their problem?

- I don't know.

Maybe they think I'm not

rich or educated enough for their daughter.

I swear, if it wasn't for Princess,

I would have given them a piece of my mind.

- Dare, you know this one can't happen to me.

'Cause this marriage,

is out of the question.

- This isn't even working.

- Our people say, you can have your bad wife,

but you can't have bad in-laws.

- True.

- Princess is an amazing person.

And I honestly don't have a problem with her.

But I receive her parents are going to be a pain the butt.

They can go and marry her.

Her life is too short.

Not in this market where women are looking for men.

Women are loafing around, I mean,

there are even people, they will pay you to claim you.

- Hey, what's going on?

- Hey.

It's about time you showed up.

- You're the one to talk.

You changed your plans on me.

I was already on the way to your house.

- Oh, yeah.

My house is, I have family staying over.

- Well anyway, I'm sorry.

I got caught up at work.

Um, let me go to the restroom.

And I'll be right back.

- All right.

- Guy.

- Yo.

- You and this, your series of women.

How do you do it?

- Look, I cash out.

I pay my taxes.

A man can enjoy his moment.

Waiter.

- [Omoh] Oh, mama.

- How are you?

- [Omoh] I'm fine. - Good.

You've been avoiding my question.

How is your marriage?

- Mama, it's not working.

- [Mama] How come?

- I've tried everything in my power, Mama,

it's still not working.

Like I've even laid seductively on the bed,

and still, he's even moved on to the bedroom.

- Did you lay down properly?

- Yes, I did, Mama.

Now he's even like in the living room.

That's where he is now.

- Okay, okay.

You know what?

You definitely do not relent, okay?

If he moves to the living room,

if you enter kitchen,

on top stove, you lay down.

Be doing fine, girl,

I've been doing fine, girl, okay.

- Oh, Mama, you know I love him very much.

I don't think that this is this right way

to go about it, to win his heart.

- He's my son and I love him dearly,

but as his mother, I know what is best for him.

- So, Mama, you think by me forcing myself on him

will be the right approach?

- Force?

Did you hear that word coming from my mouth?

I didn't say force.

You are not forcing yourself at all.

You are strategically positioning yourself for blessings.

- Mama.

- Mama, okay, you are there saying mama,

but you must do it.

We are your parents.

And anything I say, anything we say, goes,

so you must do it.

- Okay, mommy. - [Mama] Do you understand me?

Good.

- What about that girl at work?

This fine girl work.

I don't remember her name now.

- Which one?

- Slim girl, Naija girl.

- Oh, Toun.

- [Eddie] There you go.

- Oh, shit. - [Eddie] What?

- I stood her up.

- Whoa...

How?

- Man, this is so messed up.

How am I gonna face her at the office now?

- And that girl is not bad.

I mean, for some reason she actually likes you.

- No, I don't know about that.

We're just friends.

- So, you are planning to marry your enemy?

Oh, she doesn't have paper?

- Come on, I'm not that desperate.

If I was, I'll do an arrange marriage,

or I'll even go back home.

I really love Princess.

- We know, you love Princess.

She loves you.

Love nwantiti.

Look...

Have you thought about the fact

that you don't even need her parents' consent?

- Eddie, you started again, abi.

You started again.

- Dare, this is America.

You can go to court.

And call it a day.

Nobody will kill you.

- The same America where I proposed to her,

and we see where it all turned out.

Everybody's blaming me for not asking

for her father's permission.

Even you join them self.

- It's my mom.

- She still there?

- Yes, she is still on my neck.

- Maybe I should come by the house one of these days.

- No no no, don't.

Not now, my house is full.

So I'll see you later.

I have to go.

Don't drink too much 'cause of small things.

Do what you have to do.

Go to the court.

(subtle music)

- Eddie.

- Hmm?

- Omoh tells me you've been sleeping in the guest room.

Why?

Do you have something to hide?

- No, Mama.

- Okay, what is it?

- Mama.

- Yes.

- I just wanted to make sure I

gave her space, so,

can get to know ourselves better.

- Space?

Do you need space?

- Not at all, Mama.

- She does not need space.

- Mama, see this thing is not--

- Look, it's your friends out there.

All those, your friends that you're running around with.

Those are the people that you need to give space.

Look, I do not want to make your matter, the two of you,

I don't want to make your matter a prayer project.

Please.

- Prayer?

Mama, what does that mean?

- It means by this time next year,

I want to see my grandchildren, two, twins.

In fact, what I really want, three, if possible.

But how can I see these children

if you two are giving each other space?

You guys need to close this gap, the two of you,

you need to close this gap.

You are given space, you are given space.

How would the children come and enter?

If I was giving your father space, will you be here?

- Oh my God.

- What is "Oh my God"?

You people need to do what you need to do.

And we all know what you need to do.

I want to hear good report.

- Amen, Mama.

- Hmm.

- Uh-uh, is it me you are hmming?

Is it me?

- Mama, I don't have strength for this today.

I'm not even going, so.

- When am I going?

Look, until Omoh gives me good report,

until she tells me what I need to hear about this marriage,

I'm going nowhere.

Here is where I'm going to be.

(muffled singing)

- Yeah, woo hoo, yeah.

- [Dare] Guy, what are you listening to?

- Nirvana, baby.

It smells like teen spirit.

- Who the hell is that now?

They sound like wrestling match.

- Rock music bro.

- When did you start listening to rock music?

- Wait for it,

wait for it.

It's the American thing, yo.

That's the swag, yo.

- She locked herself up in the room all day.

- She will be fine.

- You better go talk to her.

- Aren't you the head of the household?

- Oh.

I am the head of the household when the job is dirty.

And this is all you.

Because I have absolutely nothing against that boy.

Except that he disrespected me.

- Well, what else do you need?

- What exactly do you have against that boy?

- Nothing.

I am just protecting my daughter

and looking out for the best for her.

- Those are the exact word from your father,

not too long ago.

- Wrong.

My father didn't like you

because you are much much older than I am.

Not because you were a loser and a gold digger.

- And you remember the more he discourage you

from marrying me, the more you were determined to marry me.

We even had to elope for them

to come to terms with that getting married.

Have you forgotten?

- So what are you insinuating?

- See, even if you do not like the boy,

you don't have a to be so blatant about it,

especially where you don't have a better option for her.

- Don't worry about it.

I have everything planned out.

(speaks in foreign language) they visit this weekend.

- Since when?

- Since I invited them this morning.

(knock on door)

- Come on in, my African Prince.

- Your dad?

- Again, he does not live here.

He travels a lot and, like I said,

you don't have to worry about him.

Never does what he says.

More bark than bite with him.

- I just don't wanna take any risks.

When I talked to him outside, he sounded pissed.

- Come on.

Settle down.

I need you to reserve your energy

for more intimate activities.

(upbeat music)

- Oh.

Where are you going?

- Patience, I'll be right back.

(upbeat music)

(suspenseful music)

(knock on door)

- Dad?

Dad, what are you doing?

- I warned you.

Now you're gonna be responsible for his death

and my incarceration.

- Dad, dad stop!

Stop!

Dad, stop!

(suspenseful music)

(gunshots fired)

(car screeching)

(mellow music)

- Well, if you're going to sleep in the guest room tonight,

Mama will not get a good report from me.

- Omoh, Omoh, what do you want from me?

- Eddie, I want you to act like I'm your wife.

- Omoh, you're not my wife.

- We are engaged.

- Yes, we're engaged, but we are not know married.

I don't want to be married.

This is by force.

- Okay, fine.

Then I guess you will have to cope

with Mama staying here forever.

- Look, Omoh, what exactly do you want?

Omoh, you came to this country because of me,

'cause we're engaged.

What else do you want from me?

- What else do I want?

What else do I want, Eddie?

I waited three good years of my life for you in Nigeria.

What else do I want?

Eddie, you're just a spoiled brat, that's what you are.

Take a good look at me.

Just take a good look at me.

Do you think I don't have anything better to do?

Do you think I don't have anything better to do?

To hell with you and your papers.

(yells in foreign language)

(subtle music)

(mid tempo music)

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0