Original subtitles

We summoned some kind of killer moth man from another world.

My friends who got separated and I just--

I can't let them fight The Beast on their own.

You want me to come to Fillory with you?

All right, so there might be a solution here, a weapon.

It sounds like, if we could find it,

we could use it to kill The Beast.

- Payment is due. - Apparently marriage here

- is different. - I can never leave Fillory.

I have gifted you my Bestowal.

When you are ready to face The Beast,

imbibe it.

We followed all the clues.

We thought that She was leading us to Her.

We summoned Her.

You know, I actually believed Our Lady Underground chose me.

You may address me as Reynard the Fox,

Trickster of the faithful, the pure of heart,

- the very stupid. - [moaning]

Hi, Martin.

[gagging]

[gasps]

Ahh!

Wait.

You know how to deal with gods.

You know how to fuck up their shit.

- I want to make a deal. - Let's.

[grunting]

[deep bass tones]

[breathing heavily]

♪ We learned how ♪

Help!

♪ On our own ♪

Somebody!

[breathing heavily]

♪ Never needing ♪

[breathing heavily]

♪ Help from you ♪

There's gotta be someone

in this motherfucking goddamn magical forest.

♪ Reaching out ♪

Get up.

People are dying.

♪ With eyes closed ♪

♪ We felt the light ♪

[breathing heavily]

♪ It taught us to grow ♪

Hungry, I assume?

After all that being chased?

No, um, I'm not being chased.

Oh. Usually they're being chased.

That I know of, no.

But you do need some kind of help.

Uh, it's just where I come from there's a legend

about a witch with a cottage made of candy.

Well, the cottage is mostly wood,

and I'm more of a healer and...

gardening enthusiast.

Okay.

I need your help.

And you're offering...?

- Offering? Um-- - Gold...is always good.

You would be helping the next High King of Fillory.

Okay.

Then my discount rate.

One vial.

Vial of what?

Were you dropped on your head as a child?

Your blood, dum-dum.

[dramatic music]

[gasps] There you are.

We were so worried.

You're, uh...

God-powered.

So it's a little hard to kill me at the moment.

Ahh!

Thank God.

I mean, you know,

thank God, Alice.

[both gasping]

I hesitated.

With The Beast, I should have--it's--

it's my fault.

No, it's not, I--

No, he's right.

It's Julia's fault.

No, guys.

- She--she's not sane. - You think?

One small consolation

is the bitch is with The Beast right now,

and I can't really see that going her way.

No, it, uh, I'll explain it in a second.

Um, can I have my blood back, please?

[chuckles]

Look, my friends, they're fine.

- I don't need your-- - No.

I took an hour out of my night.

You're in Fillory, Magician.

Be careful with strangers.

We only look whimsical.

- Who was that? - Uh, a local.

Okay, fuckers, huddle up.

Zillion bucks says The Beast comes back any minute,

so what's the plan?

We lost the blade, so we need a new something.

Um, especially while Alice is still--

- Juiced up? - We should all juice up.

Like The Beast. Wellspring smoothies, stat.

[dramatic music]

Ahh! Shit.

There's a missing piece right there.

Oh, hey, I think I-- uh, yeah.

[zapping] Ahh!

This is going great.

Let me try.

Wow, swallowing has its privileges.

[whirring and clicking]

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- Wow, it looks like-- - A major drought's hit.

There's a bucket.

[rumbling]

Shit.

I knew The Beast came here every day, but is it--

but is it even possible for him

to drain the Wellspring that much?

He really threw something out of whack.

I vote we don't touch it on the grounds

that exploding Fillory wouldn't help.

Okay. We need a new plan.

What plan? The Beast is gone.

Our squad is a joke. What plan, exactly?

We'll figure it out. We always do.

When it's a final to cheat on,

not when we're stuck in some epic fantasy

that likes to behead its heroes halfway through season one.

If we even are heroes.

We might be comic relief.

I thought you threw that out.

It's for emergencies. Pass it around.

Okay. No Wellspring, no knife.

I have no idea what to do now.

So we are fucked without grease.

- That sounds like us. - Must be a Monday.

Onward to glory.

[eerie music]

Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com

[laughing] Ah, much better.

Why are--are we--

Ah, the food is tremendous.

Let's sit.

- You familiar? - Word as bond?

Uh, I assume the extra bits enchant the blade

to kill me instantly

in the event I break it, eh.

Okay, here's the deal--

You need to kill a god.

Thrilling.

So you need to get near him.

- Tricky. - Yes, but you can help.

Mm.

His...name is Reynard the Fox.

A trickster of some sorts, yes?

Oh, that will be a challenge.

Well, you don't really have much choice, do you?

Oh, well aware you have that stylish little blade.

I sure do.

That reminds me to insist the terms of our deal

include said blade reverting to me

at the moment of Reynard's demise.

- Agreed? - Almost.

First, for the duration of our agreement,

you do not hurt or act against me in any way.

Mm, fine.

Quentin, all of them.

You lay a finger,

this will put this

in the base of your skull.

You're not what I expected.

Once Reynard is dead, I put the knife down.

Yours to take.

So this Reynard's still out there?

As far as she knows.

Yeah, it's why she needed the knife

and why she needs The Beast.

Okay, I get it now, but I also have to say

that is the dumbest thing she could possibly have done.

Like I said, she's not sane right now.

- I wouldn't be. - So what are we supposed to do?

- Kill The Beast. - He's right.

You know, it's awful,

but she chose to double-cross us.

Look, I'm pissed too, but I would like to point out--

Okay, we don't have to take a vote right this second.

Penny's right. First things first.

We need to make a plan to deal with The Beast.

Eliot!

I thought for sure you--

Yeah, me too. Not yet.

Are--are you all right?

Um, I'll--I'll get everyone something to eat.

That would be amazing.

I think I like her.

I hope I like her.

Um, okay. This might be something.

Um, so there's a-a-a place

called The Armory.

- Weapons? - Books.

Uh, So Rupert Chatwin,

uh, he realizes that back home,

World War II is still raging

and he tells Jane and Martin that he is going--

he's--he's going to go fight. Before he does,

uh, he spends all night in The Armory reading.

Uh, and, uh, you know, like, whatever he finds,

it doesn't say,

but his next move is to petition Ember and Umber

for strength.

I mean, what-- what if he found something?

What if he found, uh, a spell

or a piece of, I don't know, Fillorian Battle Magic

that was so strong that he couldn't do it without--

- Without juice? - Yeah, because the--

okay, the thing is, this is, uh,

December, 1944.

I mean, he shows up right in the middle of the--

Battle of the Bulge.

Wait, are you saying that Rupert secretly--

I'm saying, uh...

maybe he found something powerful enough to help.

And win World War II?

Maybe.

Well then, I need The Armory. Where is it?

Castle Whitespire. Accessible to...

the King.

Oh, hey.

And if we can find the road, there's, um,

a carriage that runs in a continuous circle, uh,

also at the disposal of the King, so...

Okay. Whitespire it is.

Come on, everybody. Grab snacks.

Yeah, uh, about that.

My hands are in a fucking box,

so Chatwin's Torrent.

I-I know that one. It's, um, it's a healing river.

- Can it reattach hands? - Maybe.

I'm going. I'll catch you on the flip.

Wait, no, I don't think you should be going alone.

I'll go. Um, healing water?

We're going to battle. I'll grab, like, a gallon.

You're wiping your own ass, so figure that out.

- Souvenir? - Barometer.

Thought I should pay attention to see if it gets warm.

[horse whinnies]

Whoa. Hey, guys.

Hey, over here!

Oh, my God, those horses are so beautiful.

Uh, hey. What are you doing?

- I just really love horses. - Come on.

Hup!

You have got to be kidding me.

I know, those horses were so rude.

I guess they're a tad literal.

Yeah. I'd call needing to see an actual crown

on my head as pretty goddamn literal.

Look, it's not just about the carriage.

They're not gonna let us into Whitespire

until you've been crowned High King, so...

So we--we need to get you crowned.

Uh...

Okay, yeah. Um, so there's a--

there's a specific coronation place

in the forest.

There are four kings and queens.

Yeah, you get to pick the other three.

Do I get to be a king?

Unless you want me to pick Penny.

[chuckles]

So, okay, so we get to the coronation spot

by crossing the Rainbow Bridge.

Rainbow Bridge? Like where family pets go when they die?

No. I mean, not that I know of.

No, it's called that because of the flowers that are everywhere.

- Oh. - Um, but there is, of course,

no map,

but I know Martin found it with a spell.

Well, we could always just ask around.

Or we could make like Martin.

[soft music]

He loves me.

He loves me not.

He loves me.

He loves me not.

Uh, he loves me. Let's go.

[indistinct chatter]

[chuckles] Ah.

Uh, please know I heard every loophole.

"Put the knife down."

You really think you have a fighting chance?

I think I'm gonna give it my best.

Oh, this is going to be fun.

Nice of Reynard to pull so many hearts out of chests.

It's, uh, distinctive.

Why do you suppose he does that?

- He likes the taste. - Mm.

Brilliant, that, uh, laptop.

The things they come up with when they don't have magic.

Yeah, like accounts that tweet police scanner activity.

"Tweet"?

Birds have computer accounts?

Don't worry about it.

- Mm. - Wait a minute.

They found five bodies at a house in Florida.

Missing a couple of hearts.

[sirens blaring]

Okay, just try to keep people away for a minute.

- Nicely. - Mm-hmm.

Hey, is this seat taken?

Excuse me, sir, this is--

Won't be but a moment.

[ominous music]

[indistinct chatter]

He's still in Richard's body.

Richard doesn't care, darling.

I fucking do.

Well, so I guess we came for not much.

On the contrary, we've verified what attracts Reynard.

What? Witches doing rituals?

I mean, that's thousands of people every day.

Not this type of ritual.

Come on.

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