Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,675
Next item on the agenda.
2
00:00:09,826 --> 00:00:10,992
Principal Duggins.
3
00:00:11,053 --> 00:00:14,161
Well, I see
that not one of your students
4
00:00:14,173 --> 00:00:17,040
was able to meet the
national fitness standards:
5
00:00:17,134 --> 00:00:18,449
a light jog.
6
00:00:18,935 --> 00:00:20,026
Come on, Duggins.
7
00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:22,378
You got to be a role
model for those lazy kids.
8
00:00:22,531 --> 00:00:25,381
Tell them you put in two
hours a day stretching...
9
00:00:25,534 --> 00:00:27,134
your lap band.
10
00:00:34,543 --> 00:00:37,227
Oh, my goodness.
Thank you, Principal Finch.
11
00:00:37,321 --> 00:00:41,047
Well, I guess we can cross
"hilarious joke" off the agenda.
12
00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:43,066
Oh, I-I've also got a funny thing.
13
00:00:43,921 --> 00:00:46,219
Duggins' wife was unfaithful.
14
00:00:47,855 --> 00:00:51,315
Skinner, learn how to read a room.
15
00:00:51,376 --> 00:00:53,393
- Sorry, Duggins.
- Screw you.
16
00:00:53,453 --> 00:00:57,063
Indeed. Now, as you all know,
this weekend in Cincinnati
17
00:00:57,123 --> 00:01:00,233
is the national
administrator's convention,
18
00:01:00,293 --> 00:01:01,676
or EDU-CON.
19
00:01:01,869 --> 00:01:04,571
And, uh, well, I have been invited
20
00:01:04,673 --> 00:01:06,573
to give the keynote address.
21
00:01:07,828 --> 00:01:09,166
Oh, well.
22
00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:10,463
Yes. Uh, Sunday.
23
00:01:11,212 --> 00:01:12,595
Main auditorium.
24
00:01:12,689 --> 00:01:16,483
The Proctor & Gamble Room? Crushed it!
25
00:01:19,696 --> 00:01:22,088
Well, that couldn't have gone worse.
26
00:01:22,148 --> 00:01:23,273
I agree.
27
00:01:23,367 --> 00:01:24,533
Yes, well, as you all know,
28
00:01:24,726 --> 00:01:27,351
the budget allows for a plus-one,
29
00:01:27,371 --> 00:01:29,037
and I was thinking I would bring
30
00:01:29,206 --> 00:01:32,282
the principal with the
highest test scores,
31
00:01:32,376 --> 00:01:34,734
- Finch.
- Well, that's not fair.
32
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:37,212
Finch runs the magnet school
for gifted test takers.
33
00:01:37,405 --> 00:01:40,364
Uh, sorry, Seymour,
but I have made my decision.
34
00:01:40,384 --> 00:01:42,776
If it makes you feel any better,
you were never in the running.
35
00:01:42,886 --> 00:01:46,537
Hey, we are gonna light Cincinnati up.
36
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,965
I got a buddy who used to be the
long snapper for the Bengals.
37
00:01:49,059 --> 00:01:51,301
He co-owns this amazing pok� place.
38
00:01:51,453 --> 00:01:53,119
Seaweed, furikake,
39
00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:54,470
soakin' in ponzu!
40
00:01:54,565 --> 00:01:57,482
My God, you're cool.
41
00:01:58,870 --> 00:01:59,918
_
42
00:02:00,219 --> 00:02:03,054
Okay, this is for all the marbles.
43
00:02:05,829 --> 00:02:08,468
No wonder Chalmers
is taking Finch to Cincinnati.
44
00:02:08,570 --> 00:02:09,969
How'd you hear about that?
45
00:02:10,071 --> 00:02:11,805
It's all over the playground.
46
00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:13,306
* Chalmers went to Cincy *
47
00:02:13,325 --> 00:02:14,899
* Didn't take our princy *
48
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,827
* How many tears did Skinner cry? *
49
00:02:17,921 --> 00:02:20,255
* One, two, three, four, five. *
50
00:02:20,406 --> 00:02:21,831
Well, as usual,
51
00:02:21,925 --> 00:02:24,317
the double Dutchers have
zeroed in on my pain.
52
00:02:25,929 --> 00:02:28,113
Look, Seymour,
are you ready for some tough love?
53
00:02:28,140 --> 00:02:29,172
Is there any other kind?
54
00:02:29,308 --> 00:02:30,840
Being around you sucks.
55
00:02:30,934 --> 00:02:33,101
No one's ever gonna
invite you to anything.
56
00:02:33,252 --> 00:02:34,752
If there's a party you want to go to,
57
00:02:34,771 --> 00:02:36,012
you got to crash it,
58
00:02:36,106 --> 00:02:37,831
or you'll spend the rest of your life
59
00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:40,942
sitting around with your
hand stuck in a pelvis.
60
00:02:42,946 --> 00:02:45,338
It's too late.
The plus-one has been invoked.
61
00:02:45,398 --> 00:02:47,431
Dude, you're Seymour Skinner.
62
00:02:47,492 --> 00:02:49,784
No matter how badly you're treated,
63
00:02:49,977 --> 00:02:51,010
you keep coming back for more.
64
00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:53,437
That's your superpower. Use it!
65
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:56,082
You're right. I will.
66
00:02:57,702 --> 00:03:00,754
Aw, look at you, grazing the thumb.
67
00:03:03,825 --> 00:03:05,467
Come on. Come on, come on, come on.
68
00:03:07,137 --> 00:03:08,544
Finch, where are you?
69
00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:10,121
We're going to miss our flight.
70
00:03:10,140 --> 00:03:11,622
Can't make it, Gary.
71
00:03:11,642 --> 00:03:12,957
I ate some pre-trip pok� last night,
72
00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:14,868
and it's blitzkrieging my intestines.
73
00:03:14,969 --> 00:03:17,537
I'm firing salmon eggs from both ends.
74
00:03:17,555 --> 00:03:19,205
But you're my ride to the airport.
75
00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:22,041
My car's in the shop being winterized.
76
00:03:22,060 --> 00:03:24,210
Sorry, dude. Yeah? Cool.
77
00:03:26,064 --> 00:03:28,657
Hop in, sir.
We still have time to make our flight.
78
00:03:28,850 --> 00:03:31,660
Skinner? W-What are you doing here?
79
00:03:31,853 --> 00:03:33,978
Well, I saw on Finch's InstaSnap story
80
00:03:33,997 --> 00:03:35,889
that he's firing salmon
eggs from both ends.
81
00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:38,074
So I rushed over here at once.
82
00:03:38,226 --> 00:03:40,335
You want to come with me to Cincinnat...
No. Thank you.
83
00:03:40,528 --> 00:03:43,079
Very thoughtful, Seymour,
but I-I wouldn't want to...
84
00:03:43,173 --> 00:03:45,173
You wouldn't want the
school board to find out
85
00:03:45,342 --> 00:03:47,676
you wasted the transferrable
but not refundable
86
00:03:47,869 --> 00:03:51,328
$65 plus-one registration fee?
87
00:03:52,208 --> 00:03:54,015
No, I would not.
88
00:03:54,208 --> 00:03:56,601
Oh, boy.
89
00:04:00,691 --> 00:04:02,639
Ah, Game Night.
90
00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:05,342
Jason Bateman, your boyish charisma
91
00:04:05,404 --> 00:04:08,087
was made for the
low-res seatback screen.
92
00:04:09,241 --> 00:04:10,606
Sir, are you all right?
93
00:04:10,759 --> 00:04:12,016
Uh, if you must know,
94
00:04:12,035 --> 00:04:14,185
flying makes me just
a little bit nervous.
95
00:04:14,246 --> 00:04:15,762
Where'd you put my carry-on?
96
00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:17,947
I'm going to pop an antianxiety pill.
97
00:04:18,041 --> 00:04:20,433
Oh, I gate-checked your bag. It's free,
98
00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:22,936
and you don't have to fight
for precious overhead space.
99
00:04:22,954 --> 00:04:25,121
Another classic Skinner travel hack.
100
00:04:25,215 --> 00:04:27,716
My pills were in that bag, you idiot!
101
00:04:27,867 --> 00:04:30,835
You... Okay. Okay. I can do this.
102
00:04:31,769 --> 00:04:33,613
It's just a short domestic flight.
103
00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:35,890
I'm completely safe, right?
104
00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:37,800
Sure. And if you're stressed,
you can take comfort
105
00:04:37,894 --> 00:04:40,544
in the passengers'
many emotional support animals.
106
00:04:40,605 --> 00:04:43,047
Ugh. Aah!
107
00:04:43,316 --> 00:04:45,641
Pig? Aah!
108
00:04:45,736 --> 00:04:47,477
I'm going to die in a flying zoo.
109
00:04:54,402 --> 00:04:58,872
Everyone around you is
taking their shoes off.
110
00:05:00,917 --> 00:05:02,825
Okay, no one is safe. No one's sa...
111
00:05:02,919 --> 00:05:05,144
That-that phone is not in airplane mode.
112
00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:07,905
The pilot dresses like an alcoholic!
113
00:05:07,924 --> 00:05:10,149
Somebody's yelling! Who is yelling?!
114
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:13,002
Where in the name of
God is the air marshal?!
115
00:05:20,192 --> 00:05:23,179
You're banned from Air
Cincinnati forever.
116
00:05:24,131 --> 00:05:26,274
Well, we've got to get another flight.
117
00:05:26,425 --> 00:05:28,167
Uh, we can't, sir.
118
00:05:28,269 --> 00:05:31,187
Uh, Air Cincinnati's the only
airline that flies to Cincinnati
119
00:05:31,281 --> 00:05:33,689
since the demise of Cincin-Air-Y.
120
00:05:33,784 --> 00:05:35,266
Well, that's just great. That's great!
121
00:05:35,368 --> 00:05:37,176
In 36 hours, I have to give
122
00:05:37,195 --> 00:05:39,103
the most important speech of my life.
123
00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:41,605
Now, how in the name
of Satan's jockstrap
124
00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:44,042
am I supposed to get there?
125
00:05:45,462 --> 00:05:47,703
Please, sir.
If you give me one last chance,
126
00:05:47,798 --> 00:05:49,464
I will think of nothing
else but getting you
127
00:05:49,615 --> 00:05:51,707
to that keynote speech on time.
128
00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:55,011
Nah, I'll just drive myself.
129
00:05:57,808 --> 00:06:00,199
All right, where is your car?
130
00:06:00,301 --> 00:06:01,868
It, too, is being winterized.
131
00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:03,870
But I know where to get one.
132
00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:06,463
Oh, no. You're not borrowing my Buick.
133
00:06:06,525 --> 00:06:08,483
I just had it winterized.
134
00:06:08,676 --> 00:06:11,956
But, Mother,
this road trip is my last chance
135
00:06:11,991 --> 00:06:14,213
to become friends with the man
I admire most in the world.
136
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:15,306
Please.
137
00:06:15,408 --> 00:06:18,159
Well, you did do such a nice job
138
00:06:18,352 --> 00:06:20,853
re-beading my eyeglass chain.
139
00:06:20,888 --> 00:06:23,957
I guess a boy your age
should have friends.
140
00:06:29,914 --> 00:06:33,134
Ah, you, me and the open road, huh?
141
00:06:33,169 --> 00:06:37,737
Yeah. Maybe some music will
make the time pass more quickly.
142
00:06:38,382 --> 00:06:41,197
* Timothy, Timothy... *
143
00:06:41,299 --> 00:06:43,576
I hope you like this song,
'cause it's stuck in the player,
144
00:06:43,636 --> 00:06:45,244
and there's no volume knob.
145
00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:48,339
* Timothy, Timothy *
146
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:52,735
- * God, what did we do? *
- _
147
00:06:57,523 --> 00:06:58,817
_
148
00:06:58,818 --> 00:07:01,202
Oh, did you know that in Cincinnati,
they have
149
00:07:01,395 --> 00:07:03,354
four different ways of preparing chili?
150
00:07:03,373 --> 00:07:04,855
You don't say, huh?
151
00:07:04,916 --> 00:07:06,541
- Four different ways.
- The two-way,
152
00:07:06,734 --> 00:07:07,767
- chili with spaghetti.
- How about that.
153
00:07:07,785 --> 00:07:09,452
- Spaghetti?
- The three-way,
154
00:07:09,604 --> 00:07:10,770
- chili with spaghetti and cheese.
- Lot of ways.
155
00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:12,271
- Please shut up.
- Oh!
156
00:07:12,290 --> 00:07:13,773
- Oh, he's got more.
- And there's two kinds
157
00:07:13,875 --> 00:07:15,216
- of four-ways.
- I just... I-I want to die.
158
00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:17,719
Hmm? Mm!
159
00:07:19,263 --> 00:07:21,221
Hitchhikers! Oh, thank the Lord.
160
00:07:21,282 --> 00:07:23,223
Hitchhikers, sir? Is this safe?
161
00:07:23,284 --> 00:07:25,150
They can bury us in a shallow grave
162
00:07:25,286 --> 00:07:27,411
as long as they don't talk about chili.
163
00:07:27,604 --> 00:07:30,656
Thanks for picking us up.
We're on our way to a gig.
164
00:07:30,792 --> 00:07:33,417
Oh, a-a gig. Are you, uh, musicians?
165
00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:35,068
Oh, no. We do...
166
00:07:35,129 --> 00:07:36,979
Improv Shakespeare!
167
00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:38,814
Improvisers?
168
00:07:38,874 --> 00:07:41,484
In the style of Shakespeare?
That seems impossible.
169
00:07:41,585 --> 00:07:43,910
Methinks this noble
lord doth doubt our wit.
170
00:07:44,013 --> 00:07:47,006
We must perform or else be deemed unfit!
171
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:50,768
A word, a word. My kingdom for a word.
172
00:07:50,961 --> 00:07:54,087
- No, no, don't give them a suggestion.
- Cupholders.
173
00:07:54,148 --> 00:07:56,181
To grasp a cup would
seem a great ordeal.
174
00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:59,685
When one must keep both
hands upon the wheel.
175
00:07:59,821 --> 00:08:03,764
The pentameter checks out.
Your parents must be so proud.
176
00:08:03,825 --> 00:08:04,931
They're not.
177
00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:11,864
Toupee or not toupee,
178
00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:13,349
that is the question.
179
00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:15,942
You are the only ones having fun!
180
00:08:16,004 --> 00:08:17,202
Just you!
181
00:08:17,355 --> 00:08:18,871
Oh, oh, beware the ides of...
182
00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:20,358
Truck!
183
00:08:23,218 --> 00:08:25,421
_
184
00:08:30,685 --> 00:08:34,036
Well, well, well, what have we got here?
185
00:08:35,004 --> 00:08:37,648
Don't worry, Officer.
It's, uh, minor damage.
186
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,233
Nothing serious.
187
00:08:40,987 --> 00:08:43,988
Alas, poor Buick. I knew it well.
188
00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:45,103
Oh!
189
00:08:49,521 --> 00:08:51,154
_
190
00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:54,056
Dear Lord. Our car,
our wallets, our luggage,
191
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,225
they're all blown to shreds.
192
00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:57,984
But the keynote. Your speech.
193
00:08:58,004 --> 00:08:59,578
It's all on the cards right here.
194
00:08:59,672 --> 00:09:02,840
But what good will it be
when some backwoods judge
195
00:09:02,991 --> 00:09:04,491
throws the book at us, huh?
196
00:09:04,594 --> 00:09:08,804
All rise for the Honorable
Judge J.T. Winchester.
197
00:09:10,499 --> 00:09:12,925
Who dragged me in here on a Saturday
198
00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:14,927
in the middle of my Lifetime movies?
199
00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:17,246
I'm missing my Lifetimes!
200
00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:20,674
An old woman who's enraged
by my very existence.
201
00:09:20,735 --> 00:09:23,510
Don't worry, sir. I got this.
202
00:09:23,571 --> 00:09:25,029
Your Honor, permission to observe
203
00:09:25,222 --> 00:09:28,532
that your poor cuticles
are raw and torn.
204
00:09:28,684 --> 00:09:30,092
Thanks to my idiot son.
205
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:32,928
He made my manicure
appointment with Tanya P.
206
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:34,446
instead of Tanya G.
207
00:09:34,582 --> 00:09:37,616
Oh, well, that boy's
as useless as a shaved frog.
208
00:09:37,752 --> 00:09:39,043
Now, Mother...
209
00:09:39,194 --> 00:09:41,379
Hush up and empty the spittoons,
Fennimore.
210
00:09:44,717 --> 00:09:46,108
You know, I always travel
211
00:09:46,168 --> 00:09:48,293
- with cuticle scissors and jojoba oil.
- _
212
00:09:48,446 --> 00:09:51,097
Let's get these ladies
ready for their close-up.
213
00:09:53,008 --> 00:09:55,951
Now, you have fun
at the convention, boys.
214
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,878
You just bring it back whenever.
215
00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:01,899
Mother, you never let me
drive the Cutlass.
216
00:10:02,092 --> 00:10:05,218
My car is for good boys!
217
00:10:05,321 --> 00:10:07,488
Hmm.
218
00:10:09,118 --> 00:10:11,118
_
219
00:10:11,547 --> 00:10:14,653
* Timothy, Timothy *
220
00:10:14,789 --> 00:10:18,082
* God, what did we do? *
221
00:10:19,568 --> 00:10:21,810
Well, we're only
a half hour behind schedule.
222
00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:23,495
Should we, uh, brainstorm on a code
223
00:10:23,589 --> 00:10:24,997
for the hotel room safe?
224
00:10:25,149 --> 00:10:27,816
Seymour, you charmed
the Depends off that lady.
225
00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:30,094
I believe I owe you a beer.
226
00:10:30,972 --> 00:10:32,655
A biker bar?
227
00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:34,098
Are you sure it's safe?
228
00:10:34,249 --> 00:10:36,434
All right,
stop quivering like a quince jelly.
229
00:10:36,585 --> 00:10:38,352
You're with me.
230
00:10:50,825 --> 00:10:53,451
Sir, this isn't a biker bar.
231
00:10:53,619 --> 00:10:55,678
It's a cyclist bar.
232
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:56,862
Don't be a ninny, Seymour.
233
00:10:57,014 --> 00:10:58,197
Uh, barkeep!
234
00:10:58,349 --> 00:11:00,199
A beer for me and my coworker here.
235
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,851
We just serve energy gels and oxygen.
236
00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:05,045
You don't like it, get out.
237
00:11:10,511 --> 00:11:13,119
You two oil burners
might want to skedaddle
238
00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:16,307
before my resting heart
rate elevates to 60 bpm.
239
00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:18,884
That's "beats per minute," oil burner!
240
00:11:28,654 --> 00:11:31,489
Uh, why don't you calm down there, Slim?
241
00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:35,451
What did you call me?
242
00:11:38,305 --> 00:11:39,387
Uh...
243
00:11:39,523 --> 00:11:41,165
Uh... Oh.
244
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,564
The bike computers!
245
00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:50,415
All our stats were on there!
246
00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:52,417
They hadn't synced yet!
247
00:11:52,553 --> 00:11:55,738
Yeah, but you-you still got
the exercise, right?
248
00:12:05,307 --> 00:12:07,507
Whoa. It's as if the rules of the road
249
00:12:07,568 --> 00:12:08,917
don't apply to them.
250
00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:11,603
Are you pedestrians or vehicles?!
251
00:12:11,697 --> 00:12:13,088
Make a choice!
252
00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:14,273
Never!
253
00:12:15,491 --> 00:12:17,785
Whoa! Whoa!
254
00:12:19,815 --> 00:12:21,780
Skinner, what do we do?
255
00:12:21,874 --> 00:12:24,208
Seymour! Well, don't go!
256
00:12:24,401 --> 00:12:25,709
Skinner?
257
00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:36,295
Step away from my superintendent.
258
00:12:37,509 --> 00:12:39,390
What's he gonna do? He's just one guy.
259
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:43,468
You're never alone
260
00:12:43,621 --> 00:12:46,730
when you're a veteran of
the U.S. Armed Forces.
261
00:12:46,923 --> 00:12:48,791
And I do mean armed.
262
00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:53,145
Para-athletes like us are the
natural enemy of cycling clubs.
263
00:12:53,239 --> 00:12:55,889
Their biceps are bigger than my quads!
264
00:12:55,908 --> 00:12:58,033
To the support van!
265
00:13:05,025 --> 00:13:06,558
Seymour, how did you...
266
00:13:06,694 --> 00:13:08,893
I keep abreast
of local veterans' events.
267
00:13:09,046 --> 00:13:11,321
Luckily,
the Wheel Team Six para-marathoners
268
00:13:11,514 --> 00:13:12,990
were racing nearby.
269
00:13:13,158 --> 00:13:15,283
Seymour, you have earned this.
270
00:13:16,352 --> 00:13:18,495
Ooh!
271
00:13:20,157 --> 00:13:22,499
You know, there was a time
I would have mocked you
272
00:13:22,692 --> 00:13:26,319
for collecting bed-and-breakfast
travel points with your mother,
273
00:13:26,422 --> 00:13:28,654
but, I'll tell ya,
today those points have paid
274
00:13:28,674 --> 00:13:30,841
for this sweet, thick elderberry wine.
275
00:13:31,034 --> 00:13:34,494
Well, nothing is as sweet
as your kind words.
276
00:13:34,555 --> 00:13:35,920
Aw.
277
00:13:37,758 --> 00:13:39,349
- Ooh.
- Oh, yeah. That's good stuff.
278
00:13:43,564 --> 00:13:47,173
Ernest, I've never felt
more independent and strong.
279
00:13:47,234 --> 00:13:48,692
Can I use your phone to call Mother?
280
00:13:48,885 --> 00:13:50,360
There she is.
281
00:13:50,512 --> 00:13:53,588
Just make sure no one's
using the upstairs extension.
282
00:13:53,607 --> 00:13:55,440
You're back in the office already?
283
00:13:55,534 --> 00:13:59,018
Principal Finch,
your gut biome is a wonder.
284
00:13:59,079 --> 00:14:02,188
So, how's Sad Sack Seymour and
the Cincinnati Snooze Cruise?
285
00:14:02,983 --> 00:14:04,766
Yeah, vintage Finch.
286
00:14:04,826 --> 00:14:07,193
But, uh, believe it or not,
Skinner has shown,
287
00:14:07,254 --> 00:14:09,195
uh, bursts of utility.
288
00:14:09,256 --> 00:14:10,772
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
289
00:14:10,791 --> 00:14:12,883
You better not be getting
cold feet, Gary.
290
00:14:13,076 --> 00:14:14,200
We made an agreement.
291
00:14:14,219 --> 00:14:15,944
Skinner gets canned,
292
00:14:15,962 --> 00:14:19,205
and I leave my tiny little
magnet school for the big time,
293
00:14:19,266 --> 00:14:22,117
Springfield Elementary.
294
00:14:22,135 --> 00:14:23,234
I'm pumped!
295
00:14:23,287 --> 00:14:24,619
Yes, I know, I know.
296
00:14:24,721 --> 00:14:27,122
The plan was to fire Skinner, and, uh...
297
00:14:28,591 --> 00:14:31,126
...I am a man of my word.
298
00:14:31,186 --> 00:14:33,052
Fire Skinner?
299
00:14:33,113 --> 00:14:34,905
Chalmers!
300
00:14:35,915 --> 00:14:36,939
Oh, dear.
301
00:14:44,824 --> 00:14:46,249
Fire me?!
302
00:14:46,401 --> 00:14:48,734
You bald-pated son of a bitch.
303
00:14:48,796 --> 00:14:51,070
Uh, i-if you two gentlemen
could please...
304
00:14:51,131 --> 00:14:53,090
Stay out of this, Trudy!
305
00:14:53,258 --> 00:14:56,075
For years, this man belittled me.
306
00:14:56,136 --> 00:14:58,595
Humiliated me.
307
00:14:58,746 --> 00:15:01,005
And in exchange for
my unwavering loyalty,
308
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:02,766
what was my reward?
309
00:15:02,917 --> 00:15:06,085
Whoa, to be pushed out by
some scheming magnet school...
310
00:15:06,146 --> 00:15:08,179
keister kisser!
311
00:15:09,525 --> 00:15:11,757
The brochures nobody takes!
312
00:15:11,819 --> 00:15:14,853
I'm the one who deserved this
trip to Cincinnati, not Finch.
313
00:15:15,005 --> 00:15:18,006
That's why I put black
mold in his pok�.
314
00:15:19,159 --> 00:15:21,284
You did what?
315
00:15:21,477 --> 00:15:23,862
Ooh. The Rocking Chair Museum.
316
00:15:23,956 --> 00:15:25,029
I've heard good things.
317
00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:28,016
Skinner...!
318
00:15:28,076 --> 00:15:30,018
You know why I was gonna fire you,
Seymour?
319
00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:33,021
Because your neediness,
it sucks the life out of me!
320
00:15:33,081 --> 00:15:36,875
After all these years of
trying to spare your feelings,
321
00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:38,301
I'm just gonna say it now:
322
00:15:38,494 --> 00:15:41,029
I... don't... like you!
323
00:15:41,089 --> 00:15:43,698
* And the man in the back said,
"Everyone attack" *
324
00:15:43,717 --> 00:15:45,791
* And it turned into
a ballroom blitz *
325
00:15:45,811 --> 00:15:48,052
* And the girl in the corner said,
"Boy, I wanna warn you *"
326
00:15:48,205 --> 00:15:49,629
* It'll turn into
a ballroom blitz" *
327
00:15:49,690 --> 00:15:51,982
* Ballroom blitz *
328
00:15:52,133 --> 00:15:54,467
* Ballroom blitz *
329
00:15:54,528 --> 00:15:56,987
* Ballroom blitz *
330
00:15:57,156 --> 00:15:58,213
* Ballroom blitz. *
331
00:15:58,273 --> 00:16:00,157
Ooh, Terry Bradshaw stayed here.
332
00:16:00,350 --> 00:16:02,050
Not the one you're thinking of.
333
00:16:09,951 --> 00:16:12,002
You know, I'm not gonna give
you the pleasure of firing me,
334
00:16:12,195 --> 00:16:13,753
because I quit!
335
00:16:15,757 --> 00:16:17,323
Good riddance!
336
00:16:37,105 --> 00:16:38,312
_
337
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:44,459
Well, well, well.
338
00:16:44,486 --> 00:16:46,761
If it isn't the Cuticle Kid.
339
00:16:46,821 --> 00:16:49,431
You racing to give a mani-pedi?
340
00:16:50,026 --> 00:16:51,708
Just give me the ticket, Fennimore.
341
00:16:51,901 --> 00:16:55,194
License and my mother's registration.
342
00:16:56,908 --> 00:16:58,758
_
343
00:16:58,759 --> 00:17:00,592
Superintendent, you're on in five.
344
00:17:00,743 --> 00:17:03,386
Great, great.
I'll just ensure my notecards
345
00:17:03,555 --> 00:17:05,037
are in the correct order.
346
00:17:05,057 --> 00:17:06,464
Uh, uh...
347
00:17:06,558 --> 00:17:09,300
"Road trip conversation starters"?
348
00:17:15,558 --> 00:17:17,049
We switched jackets.
349
00:17:17,110 --> 00:17:18,718
Seymour has my speech!
350
00:17:18,779 --> 00:17:20,403
It's often been said that one speech
351
00:17:20,596 --> 00:17:22,814
can make or break a man's career.
352
00:17:22,908 --> 00:17:26,134
Together, we now face such a moment.
353
00:17:26,194 --> 00:17:27,652
Our keynote speaker,
354
00:17:27,788 --> 00:17:31,748
Superintendent Garibaldi Chalmers.
355
00:17:36,204 --> 00:17:37,208
Um...
356
00:17:37,905 --> 00:17:39,572
Well, it's an honor, uh, to be here
357
00:17:39,633 --> 00:17:40,924
in, uh, uh, Cleveland.
358
00:17:41,117 --> 00:17:42,575
It's Cincinnati!
359
00:17:42,636 --> 00:17:44,652
Look at the skyline!
360
00:17:44,713 --> 00:17:47,489
You just...
You won't believe what's happened.
361
00:17:47,549 --> 00:17:49,491
I'm... Well, maybe you will!
362
00:17:49,551 --> 00:17:51,584
You've all got that one principal,
363
00:17:51,645 --> 00:17:55,346
that one that gets you into
such ridiculous situations,
364
00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:58,424
uh, uh, maybe even on the way here.
365
00:17:58,443 --> 00:18:02,170
Mm. Yes. Quite.
366
00:18:03,346 --> 00:18:05,448
This guy, Skinner,
h-he screws everything up.
367
00:18:05,641 --> 00:18:08,100
He took my jacket and my speech!
368
00:18:08,161 --> 00:18:11,955
He left me with the useless
garbage in his pockets.
369
00:18:12,124 --> 00:18:15,016
A mommy manicure kit.
370
00:18:15,035 --> 00:18:16,851
A-a VFW event calendar.
371
00:18:16,911 --> 00:18:18,686
A, uh, B&B rewards card.
372
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,005
Calico Level.
373
00:18:21,955 --> 00:18:24,283
And conversation starters like...
374
00:18:25,545 --> 00:18:27,862
"How can I make your job easier?"
375
00:18:27,881 --> 00:18:30,140
He sounds like a good guy,
you jackass!
376
00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:31,883
Well, I...
377
00:18:32,019 --> 00:18:33,310
I suppose he is.
378
00:18:33,503 --> 00:18:36,146
He's loyal and resourceful and...
379
00:18:36,339 --> 00:18:37,889
Oh, God, help me.
380
00:18:38,025 --> 00:18:39,965
I respect Seymour Skinner.
381
00:18:39,985 --> 00:18:41,801
In fact, I like him.
382
00:18:44,193 --> 00:18:45,488
Ditto, Gary.
383
00:18:49,444 --> 00:18:51,870
Aw, Skinner.
384
00:18:54,357 --> 00:18:57,667
I've got something that belongs to you.
385
00:18:57,860 --> 00:19:01,913
Now go give the greatest
keynote speech of your life.
386
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:04,399
Well, maybe I already have, huh?
387
00:19:04,417 --> 00:19:06,101
But if I must.
388
00:19:07,012 --> 00:19:09,087
Educational Infrastructure:
389
00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:11,681
Ability Grouping versus
Blended Learning.
390
00:19:11,874 --> 00:19:14,834
Now, a survey of public administrators
391
00:19:14,895 --> 00:19:18,429
over a 15-trimester
period showed clearly,
392
00:19:18,523 --> 00:19:21,149
within the standard deviation,
of course...
393
00:19:22,085 --> 00:19:23,585
Well, you did it, dude.
394
00:19:23,686 --> 00:19:25,528
How does it feel to get
what you've always wanted?
395
00:19:25,721 --> 00:19:27,530
* Chalmers loves Skinner *
396
00:19:27,723 --> 00:19:29,366
* Bought him chili dinner *
397
00:19:29,559 --> 00:19:32,518
* How many ways did Skinner try? *
398
00:19:32,537 --> 00:19:35,187
* One, two, three, four, five. *
399
00:19:35,290 --> 00:19:37,874
It feels just like this.
400
00:19:47,553 --> 00:19:50,870
* Maybe you and me were
never meant to be *
401
00:19:50,931 --> 00:19:55,216
* Just maybe think of
me once in a while. *
402
00:20:03,852 --> 00:20:05,977
So, guys, what have you been up to?
403
00:20:06,129 --> 00:20:08,405
Oh, went on a field trip
to the fire station,
404
00:20:08,598 --> 00:20:10,573
but nobody told the
firemen we were coming.
405
00:20:10,766 --> 00:20:13,317
Practiced my sax, went to school.
406
00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:15,820
Oh, we learned about Peru.
407
00:20:15,914 --> 00:20:16,971
Oh.
408
00:20:17,031 --> 00:20:18,415
I went to work.
409
00:20:18,566 --> 00:20:20,308
Lenny had a cold, so he wasn't there.
410
00:20:20,326 --> 00:20:21,659
Carl was there though.
411
00:20:21,753 --> 00:20:24,587
Well, have I got a treat for you all.
412
00:20:24,780 --> 00:20:28,508
Tonight, we're going to see
Improv Shakespeare!
413
00:20:29,836 --> 00:20:31,076
Washing machine!
414
00:20:31,096 --> 00:20:32,654
Out, damned stain!
415
00:20:32,755 --> 00:20:36,324
For there is a Tide Pod
in the affairs of laundry.
416
00:20:36,384 --> 00:20:41,086
Can you imagine
Shakespeare using a Tide Pod?
417
00:20:41,148 --> 00:20:43,440
- No.
- - Oy.
418
00:20:49,472 --> 00:20:50,613
* Mad tooth bar chin-up *
419
00:20:50,765 --> 00:20:53,616
* Boxing out of her hair now *
420
00:20:54,936 --> 00:20:59,205
* Still do the modern-day
whack-a-mole ditto-o-o *
421
00:21:00,742 --> 00:21:03,126
* What's that? Good bartender *
422
00:21:03,277 --> 00:21:05,536
* I had better head out *
423
00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:11,217
* I said I wouldn't do it
if a poodle had a lid on *
424
00:21:16,032 --> 00:21:17,548
* Mad tooth bar chin-up *
425
00:21:17,642 --> 00:21:19,851
* Boxing out of her hair now *
426
00:21:21,980 --> 00:21:26,232
* Still do the modern-day
whack-a-mole ditto-o-o *
427
00:21:27,652 --> 00:21:28,776
* What's that? *
30531
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof