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Previously on "The Magicians"...
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They know everything...
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who you are, what you have done.
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You cannot go back.
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What am I supposed to do?
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What we all do.
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Decide.
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_
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- Hey, where's Kady?
- Who gives a shit?
10
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I don't think Penny even
cares that she's gone.
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Believe me, he does.
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We're gonna make another you.
13
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You sleep here, your
mind goes into the golem.
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The test was positive.
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I want an abortion.
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It's a totally mundane procedure.
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Is it?
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'Cause it might not be a simple,
totally mundane human embryo.
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Stop. What are you doing? Stop! Kady!
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So sorry about this.
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That's my Haxenpaxen!
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Just imagine what it's
giving off magically.
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We're invisible while we're near him.
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- Kady!
- Your magic is no good here.
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What's with Stink-master Flash?
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- He's coming with us.
- It's my mom's contact.
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She could help with the baby situation.
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They may be able to help
your friend with her problem,
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but listen, I would never,
ever do business with them
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if I had a choice.
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Your majesties, the
much-venerated Emissaries
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of our neighbors to the north.
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I present Prince Ess of Loria.
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- You fucked with us.
- Mm-hmm. Yes, you did.
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- You fucked with our castle.
- Amen, sister.
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And now the High King and I
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hereby declare war on
the kingdom of Loria.
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Yes!
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Wait, really?
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I cast the niffin summoning,
and you didn't come.
41
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You're wrong. I was right there.
42
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I killed you. My cacodemon...
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Your cacodemon wasn't
powerful enough to kill me.
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It tried.
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But when it saw that it couldn't win,
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well, let's just say it
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stuffed me in a place most convenient...
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that stupid tattoo trap on your back.
49
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We're stuck with each other.
50
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Oh, Quentin.
51
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We're gonna have so much fun.
52
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Stop ignoring me! Stop
ignoring me, you pussy!
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Pay attention to me,
you miserable sad sack!
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- What's wrong with you?
- Stop it!
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Are you ready to let me out
of that hairy back of yours?
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'Cause I'm never gonna stop.
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And sooner or later,
one of these dummies
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are gonna call the brain
police, and you got priors.
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This is not Alice. This is not Alice.
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This is not Alice. This is not Alice.
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Just keep telling yourself that.
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You have got to stop.
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Fine. Let me out of
this trap, and I'm gone.
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00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:57,041
Okay, look, Alice...
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Evil Thing Inside of Me
That Used to Be Alice...
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00:03:00,658 --> 00:03:03,695
I have to say the
words to open the trap.
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Of my own volition. Out loud.
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And I'm not going to do that
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because there is one
policy for you out here,
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and it is to box you up for eternity.
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I'm kind of boxed up right now, in you.
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It's not the same
thing, and you know it.
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Block of wood isn't
trying to fix this. I am.
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Save me? Is that what
you think you're doing?
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You think I want that?
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I think if you were
really you right now,
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that's all you would want.
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00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:29,610
Oh, what, and you're the world's
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foremost expert on all things me?
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Based on what?
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Our garbage fire of a relationship
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that ended with Eliot's
dick in your mouth?
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Look, you came really close
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to fixing this once for your brother.
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I thought I did.
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But I was like you then.
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00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:42,923
Small yet weirdly arrogant
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for somebody who didn't
understand magic at all.
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00:03:45,060 --> 00:03:48,096
If you would just work with
me instead of jabbing at me,
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00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:49,530
we could figure out what's missing.
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00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:50,964
We could make the spell work.
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We could do this.
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Listen to me.
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00:03:53,533 --> 00:03:57,875
I promise, the math
will never add up, Q.
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00:03:58,106 --> 00:04:00,508
You'll never get that girl back.
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00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:04,645
Everything that's missing
burnt up when I became this.
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It's gone forever, Q.
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00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:09,450
This isn't good for either of us.
99
00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:13,154
No, no, this is making
me saner by the second.
100
00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:14,388
I don't want to hurt you.
101
00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:16,157
I actually don't want to hurt anyone.
102
00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:17,373
Bullshit, you're a niffin.
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Q, I'm not bloodthirsty.
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I just want to be free.
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And I already told you I can't do that.
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00:04:23,540 --> 00:04:25,743
Fine. Just let me take over your body
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for just the tiniest little bit.
108
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I'll be good. I'll be so good.
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00:04:29,797 --> 00:04:31,751
No, that's crazy.
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So I have to be a niffin, yet
I don't even get to be a niffin?
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00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:36,181
I could travel the universe.
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00:04:36,206 --> 00:04:37,540
I could see things you
couldn't even imagine,
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00:04:37,565 --> 00:04:40,615
but instead, I have to be
bored and stuck with you!
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00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:43,184
I'm sorry that it is torture
to be with the one person
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00:04:43,217 --> 00:04:44,551
who is trying to help you.
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00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:48,022
So go back to screaming
until you go insane?
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00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:50,090
- Is that your choice?
- No.
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00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,842
That's your choice.
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00:04:51,867 --> 00:04:54,124
Or you could be quiet.
120
00:05:00,365 --> 00:05:03,274
And you can let me try and solve this.
121
00:05:17,875 --> 00:05:20,211
Well, this is the place.
122
00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:23,307
Of course it is. Why wouldn't it be?
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00:05:23,332 --> 00:05:25,947
I mean, Goldie said they're legit.
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Only one way to find out.
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00:06:08,335 --> 00:06:10,128
- Problem?
- No problem.
126
00:06:10,153 --> 00:06:13,273
We're just discussing how
to handle your situation.
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00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:15,909
That's okay. My way is best way.
128
00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:18,246
But you can abort it, right?
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00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:20,447
This is exorcism.
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00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:22,417
That thing is not human.
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00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:24,085
The longer it's inside you,
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00:06:24,118 --> 00:06:25,787
the more tangled it
gets with your essence
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and the harder it is for me to help you,
134
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:29,197
you understand?
135
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:31,543
Okay.
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00:06:31,568 --> 00:06:33,635
Then I exorcise the trickster for you.
137
00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:41,768
After you pay. Thank you.
138
00:06:43,485 --> 00:06:45,122
$1 million?
139
00:06:45,147 --> 00:06:46,840
In gold.
140
00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:49,309
Paper money is for
drug dealers and idiots.
141
00:06:49,342 --> 00:06:50,677
Look, Goldie will tell
you I'm good for it.
142
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:52,513
Can you just do it now
and we'll pay you later?
143
00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:54,816
Bars. Two big bars.
144
00:06:54,849 --> 00:06:56,440
Maybe 60 pounds.
145
00:06:56,465 --> 00:06:57,773
That's all.
146
00:07:01,821 --> 00:07:03,723
What?
147
00:07:03,926 --> 00:07:05,560
No, I'm just... I'm trying to remember
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00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:07,294
the last time not having enough money
149
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was one of my biggest problems.
150
00:07:09,021 --> 00:07:12,038
Okay, well, cash won't cut it, so, what,
151
00:07:12,225 --> 00:07:13,667
pawnshops?
152
00:07:13,835 --> 00:07:17,104
A million dollars in
chains and earrings?
153
00:07:17,138 --> 00:07:19,944
I mean, that would
take so many pawnshops.
154
00:07:20,180 --> 00:07:22,374
We might as well rob a bank.
155
00:07:23,957 --> 00:07:26,093
Well, we are Magicians.
156
00:07:27,414 --> 00:07:29,651
Why don't we just rob a bank?
157
00:07:37,049 --> 00:07:40,712
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com
158
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:46,055
So there's really no way to just...
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00:07:47,032 --> 00:07:49,203
take it all back?
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00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:52,340
Your Majesty, one
cannot simply take back
161
00:07:52,365 --> 00:07:54,430
- a declaration of war.
- Good.
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00:07:54,455 --> 00:07:56,329
Because I don't.
163
00:07:56,609 --> 00:07:59,212
There are Lorian troops
marching to the border.
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They're days away.
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00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:02,650
We believe they intend
to penetrate Fillory
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by way of the Grudge Gap.
167
00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:06,787
And, of course, our
preparation is affected
168
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:10,758
by the continued...
unsteadiness of the Wellspring.
169
00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:12,924
Okay, well, we've got
literally every engineer
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00:08:12,949 --> 00:08:15,929
in the kingdom working to
de-shit-inate the Wellspring.
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Gonna invent the
guillotine in a hot second
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if they don't get their shit together.
173
00:08:20,329 --> 00:08:22,064
Everyone is doing their best, my queen.
174
00:08:22,089 --> 00:08:25,481
We expect to clear said water shortly.
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We're excessively optimistic.
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Spare no expense.
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00:08:28,943 --> 00:08:30,578
Which brings me to my point.
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Fixing the Wellspring is expensive.
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00:08:33,646 --> 00:08:35,248
War is expensive.
180
00:08:35,281 --> 00:08:38,617
And at this time, we do not
have the funds necessary...
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00:08:38,642 --> 00:08:40,110
We're broke?
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It's magic residue.
183
00:08:55,935 --> 00:08:59,339
Probably from a ward around
the bank's underground vault.
184
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,217
It's a regular bank.
185
00:09:01,608 --> 00:09:04,211
Regular banks have magical wards?
186
00:09:04,245 --> 00:09:07,045
Ones connected to the
Federal Reserve do, yeah.
187
00:09:07,070 --> 00:09:09,904
Okay, so how do we get past it?
188
00:09:12,414 --> 00:09:15,050
- Shit, it's...
- The Haxenpaxen.
189
00:09:20,995 --> 00:09:22,964
Hey, we can't just let it out.
190
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,698
If...
191
00:09:58,337 --> 00:09:59,733
What the fuck?
192
00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:07,274
Oh, my God. What the hell? A spoon?
193
00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:09,810
I think it's dead.
194
00:10:09,842 --> 00:10:12,507
What the hell was it
besides huge and invisible?
195
00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:15,883
Fuck. We have to stop the bleeding.
196
00:10:27,254 --> 00:10:28,974
We should bury it properly.
197
00:10:28,999 --> 00:10:31,631
Okay, but, Jules, we got to move, okay?
198
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:34,035
We really need to get somewhere safe.
199
00:10:34,068 --> 00:10:35,952
Okay, like?
200
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:39,358
You're not gonna like it.
201
00:10:55,041 --> 00:10:56,809
Have you seen the "Twilight" movies?
202
00:10:56,843 --> 00:10:58,947
Specifically the last one?
203
00:10:59,411 --> 00:11:00,479
No.
204
00:11:00,512 --> 00:11:03,361
Huh. That's probably for the best.
205
00:11:04,349 --> 00:11:07,886
Your problems extend beyond your uterus.
206
00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:11,352
The fetus' élan vital is...
207
00:11:11,377 --> 00:11:14,492
entangled with your soul.
208
00:11:14,794 --> 00:11:16,029
I mean, I have read about this,
209
00:11:16,061 --> 00:11:18,297
but I've... I've never
seen it in person.
210
00:11:18,330 --> 00:11:20,032
You will need to find a Mudang.
211
00:11:20,065 --> 00:11:21,834
It's their area.
212
00:11:21,867 --> 00:11:24,903
Yeah, we did. She was expensive.
213
00:11:24,936 --> 00:11:26,472
Yeah, tell me about it.
214
00:11:26,506 --> 00:11:29,189
I've been trying to get
one on staff for years.
215
00:11:40,239 --> 00:11:42,479
That poor girl is fucked.
216
00:11:43,350 --> 00:11:45,288
And you are suggesting?
217
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:47,727
Let her stay.
218
00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:49,329
I know that you expelled Kady
219
00:11:49,362 --> 00:11:51,765
and that you are not generally
keen on granting asylum,
220
00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:53,333
especially to hedges.
221
00:11:53,373 --> 00:11:57,878
Yes, well, this is a special case.
222
00:11:57,904 --> 00:12:00,458
Julia and I have a past.
223
00:12:00,806 --> 00:12:04,343
Handle it however you
want, but for the record,
224
00:12:04,377 --> 00:12:06,680
that girl will be safer at Brakebills.
225
00:12:06,713 --> 00:12:08,361
Mm.
226
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:18,853
"How to transfer the
energy from one being
227
00:12:18,878 --> 00:12:22,216
"and transform it."
228
00:12:38,535 --> 00:12:41,406
Hey, what... what are
you two doing here?
229
00:12:44,449 --> 00:12:45,735
What?
230
00:12:54,349 --> 00:12:56,826
What's this bitch doing in my room?
231
00:12:57,061 --> 00:12:58,553
I know.
232
00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:00,553
This was her room, right?
233
00:13:02,635 --> 00:13:04,228
I guess they haven't
moved her stuff yet,
234
00:13:04,253 --> 00:13:07,190
but Fogg said space was limited, so...
235
00:13:09,072 --> 00:13:10,539
I talked to Kady.
236
00:13:10,564 --> 00:13:12,501
What, no respect for the dead, Q?
237
00:13:12,645 --> 00:13:15,178
You're just gonna let her sit on my bed?
238
00:13:15,982 --> 00:13:18,272
Jules, I don't know what to say.
239
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:19,951
Say what you're thinking.
240
00:13:19,986 --> 00:13:21,721
That I'm cursed.
241
00:13:21,746 --> 00:13:23,815
Must've been a serial
killer in a past life.
242
00:13:23,856 --> 00:13:25,625
Yeah, raise your hand
if she's the reason
243
00:13:25,657 --> 00:13:27,860
that you fucking exploded in this life.
244
00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:29,764
I'm sorry for everything
that's happened.
245
00:13:29,789 --> 00:13:30,897
Yeah, speak for yourself.
246
00:13:30,922 --> 00:13:32,210
For everything that
you're going through.
247
00:13:32,235 --> 00:13:34,022
Mm, now you're just lying to her, Q.
248
00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:36,107
I'm sorry. I'm just having a hard time.
249
00:13:36,132 --> 00:13:39,803
- Yeah, because you blame her.
- I'm not blaming you for Alice.
250
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:42,444
If I'm being honest.
251
00:13:42,469 --> 00:13:44,546
No, if I make you feel
so shitty, just go.
252
00:13:44,571 --> 00:13:46,091
- No.
- Why?
253
00:13:46,116 --> 00:13:47,968
I'm the reason. If
I'm the reason, then...
254
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,582
'Cause that doesn't feel right either.
255
00:13:49,614 --> 00:13:51,784
I don't know what's right.
256
00:13:53,118 --> 00:13:56,260
My best friend in the
world does crazy shit
257
00:13:56,285 --> 00:13:57,991
and doesn't trust me
and doesn't listen to me.
258
00:13:58,024 --> 00:13:59,759
It is not that simple, and you know it.
259
00:13:59,791 --> 00:14:02,694
I don't... What am I supposed to do?
260
00:14:02,728 --> 00:14:05,631
You guys are both so goddamn maudlin.
261
00:14:18,044 --> 00:14:21,193
I promised you, in Fillory,
262
00:14:21,914 --> 00:14:24,918
when you told me about Reynard,
that I would help you somehow,
263
00:14:24,950 --> 00:14:27,365
and that is not a promise
264
00:14:27,390 --> 00:14:30,447
that I intend on breaking.
265
00:14:35,571 --> 00:14:37,840
So if there's anything that I can do...
266
00:14:37,865 --> 00:14:39,600
Actually, there is.
267
00:14:41,199 --> 00:14:43,221
Help us rob a bank.
268
00:14:43,505 --> 00:14:45,300
Oh, my God, yes.
269
00:14:47,379 --> 00:14:49,182
You say yes.
270
00:14:51,676 --> 00:14:53,146
It's for Professor Mayakovsky!
271
00:14:53,179 --> 00:14:56,182
It was destroyed by other books.
272
00:14:56,214 --> 00:14:57,916
"Future Movements of Magic"
273
00:14:57,949 --> 00:14:59,518
was written by a Polish scientist
274
00:14:59,551 --> 00:15:01,086
who happened to be a...
275
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:02,424
What?
276
00:15:02,449 --> 00:15:03,923
Jew.
277
00:15:03,955 --> 00:15:06,492
So the eugenics books came for it.
278
00:15:06,526 --> 00:15:07,794
I'm really sorry.
279
00:15:07,827 --> 00:15:09,504
They've been put in
the restricted section
280
00:15:09,529 --> 00:15:11,504
with the other anti-Semitic texts.
281
00:15:20,868 --> 00:15:22,306
Hey.
282
00:15:25,249 --> 00:15:26,907
I'm...
283
00:15:29,048 --> 00:15:30,879
Long story.
284
00:15:33,514 --> 00:15:35,348
Anyway...
285
00:16:26,992 --> 00:16:29,161
There's our little king.
286
00:16:30,726 --> 00:16:33,947
So how have you been since, um...
287
00:16:33,972 --> 00:16:36,475
Uh, I'm managing.
288
00:16:37,717 --> 00:16:38,885
Um, how are things with you guys?
289
00:16:38,918 --> 00:16:41,946
Glad you asked. We're at war.
290
00:16:41,971 --> 00:16:46,125
Also, Fillory is seriously,
dangerously stone-cold brok20650
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