All language subtitles for Home Improvement -Season 4- E13

- Does everybody know what time it is?
- Tool Time

That's right. Now, here he is, the star
of the show, Tim ''The Tool Man'' Taylor.

Thank you. Thank you, Heidi.
Thank you, everyone.

Welcome to security week
here on Tool Time

You all know me.
l'm Tim ''The Secure Man'' Taylor,

and my assistant,
Al ''l Want My Blankie'' Borland.

l'd respond to that, but l don't need to
because l'm very secure with who l am.

Well, you shouldn't be. OK.

Tool Time isn't just
about home improvement,

it's also about protecting
that home you have improved.

Right, and a good place to start
is with the proper locks.

Now, there are all types of locks - chain
locks, guarder locks, deadbolt locks...

My favorite - bagel and lox. Yeah!

l go with Nova Scotia lox.
Al likes belly lox.

But remember,
a little lox goes a long way.

- We also have a home security system.
- Yeah, yeah.

Burglar systems are fine,

but when do we get to
the high-energy surveillance equipment?

Heidi, the high-energy
surveillance equipment, please.

Here you are, Tim.

Look at this. Small surveillance cameras,
infrared scopes, pocket bug-detectors.

Tim, we're talking home security,
not cracking an international spy ring.

But with this stuff,
you got the option.

Now, a must on the shopping list for
every do-it-yourself spy is the bionic ear.

With this, you can pick up conversations
a long way away. Watch.

(man) Maurice. u'est-ce ue
tu as pens de ''Tool Time''?

(Maurice) C'tait trs amusant.

mais l'assistant. Al Borland.
tait un grand ''bozo''

You expect me to believe
they watch Tool Time in France?

Well, not anymore. You heard
what Maurice said about you.

Now it's time for
the night-vision goggles.

Night-vision goggles?

With these bad boys, you can walk around
in pitch black, pick out a burglar.

And you'll never
whiz wide of the bowl again.

What these things do is great,
is amplify existing light, like, 2,000 times,

just by flicking this switch.

Oh!

lt's like looking into the surface of the sun,
isn't it? l'm over here, Al. Over here.

Actually, these are...

These are designed for using
when it's totally dark.

Heidi, make it totally dark, please.

l'll just switch mine on.
There! Wow!

(Al) Oh, well,
now mine aren't working.

(Tim) l'll just adjust them.
Let me grab a screwdriver.

(Al) Tim.
That's not my screwdriver.

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Jill, l gotta hand it to you. How do you find
time to cook with your finals coming up?

Well, l did find this book -
Five-Minute Meals for the Busy Woman

- Try the sauce. Tell me what you think.
- All right.

Hm.

Maybe if you throw the book in the pot,
it might give it some flavor.

Oh, well. Tim and the boys will just have to
put up with it until my finals are over with.

- Hi, guys.
- Oh, hi.

l just don't have time
to cook the way l usually do.

Now, there's some good news.

Wait till he sees the new book l got.

Five-Minute Lovemaking

What are we gonna do
with the other three minutes?

Hey, guys, guess what.

Barry Hudson quit his newspaper route.
Hi, Marie.

Now we won't need the ladder
to get the paper off the roof.

l don't mind climbing up on the roof
every day to get our paper.

That way l don't have to spring
for a StairMaster.

- l'll see you guys later.
- Oh, bye.

Well, Barry talked to the newspaper,
and they said if l want the job l can take it.

Great. There's nothing like a challenge
to help someone mature.

Maybe we ought to get your father
a paper route.

l had a paper route. lt's the kind of job
that turns a boy into a man.

- So l can take it?
- Absolutely.

- Not so fast.
- Not so fast.

- Why not so fast?
- You have a lot more schoolwork this year.

You've got band, basketball, a girlfriend.
Aren't you taking on too much?

- l know it's a lot, but, Mom, l can handle it.
- What does it pay?

- 75 bucks a week.
- 75 dollars a week.

You'll have to get up at the crack of dawn
when it's, like, seven below outside.

- l can do it.
- That's right.

lt's good to push him a bit. Getting up
at five o'clock will put hair on your chest,

which is why you don't see
too many newspaper girls.

And, Mom, l promise
l won't fall behind on anything.

l'll clean my room, and l'll even
practice my saxophone two hours a night.

You don't do that now.

We've talked about giving the boys more
responsibility. This falls in that category.

Well, OK. l have my doubts, but if that's
the way you see it, Tim, all right.

All right.

Now, the minute that your schoolwork
starts to suffer, the job is over.

- lt's a deal.
- That's right.

Well, l think
l see a chest hair sprouting.

Nope. Navel lint.

Hey, Jill.

l know you're under the gun with
your finals, so l made you some lasagna.

You cooked for me?
That is so sweet.

l figured if l didn't,
you might have a five-minute marriage.

- l don't know how to thank you.
- Don't worry about it.

When you become a psychologist,
you can give me a discount.

For you, three neuroses
for the price of one.

Then l just have to figure out
what to do with my other 2 7 neuroses.

- l want to try it.
- Here you go.

Let me see.

- Oh, it's so good.
- Oh, thanks.

Hey, you know,
Brad is doing really great with his job.

You know, l had my doubts,
but it's going really well.

You're not kidding.
His throw is so accurate.

All l have to do is open the door
and the paper hits Joe right in the head.

Come to think of it,
it saves me the trouble.

- Hello, Marie. Hi, honey.
- (Marie) Hey, Tim.

(Jill) Hi.

Something smells great.
Did you order out again?

No. Marie knew how busy l was,
and look, she cooked us dinner.

Looks like lasagna.

Smells like lasagna.

Hm.

lmportant here...
her lasagna tastes like lasagna.

(# ''Get a Job'' by Silhouettes)

# Dip. dip. dip. dip. dip. dip.
get a job

- # Get a job
- # Sha-na-na-na. sha-na-na-na-na

- # Get a job
- # Sha-na-na-na. sha-na-na-na-na

- # Get a job
- # Sha-na-na-na. sha-na-na-na-na

- # Get a job
- # Sha-na-na-na. sha-na-na-na-na

# very morning about this time. she gets
me out of my bed a-crying get a job

(alarm)

# After breakfast every day
she throws the want ads in my way

- # Get a job
- # Sha-na-na-na. sha-na-na-na-na

- # Get a job
- # Sha-na-na-na. sha-na-na-na-na

# Dip-de-do-op. dip-de-do-op

# Dip-de-do-op. dip-de-do-op

# Dip-de-do-op. dip-de-do-op

# I go back to that house.
hear that woman's mouth

# Preaching and a-crying.
telling me that I'm lying 'bout a job

- # That I never could find
- # Sha-na-na-na. sha-na-na-na-na

- # Ba-dooh
- # Sha-na-na-na. sha-na-na-na-na

- # Get a job
- # Sha-na-na-na. sha-na-na-na-na

- # Get a job
- # Sha-na-na-na. sha-na-na-na-na

- Hey, Brad.
- Huh?

- You wanna play football?
- Oh, no. l can't.

l'm way behind. l've got this paper
on the Franco-Prussian War due tomorrow.

Well, what do you have so far?

''The Franco-Prussian war was...''

That's it?

Yeah, and l copied that
out of the encyclopedia.

Well, you know, if you make the margins
wider, it might make it seem longer.

l'm gonna have to stay up all night
to finish this. This job's gonna kill me.

lf it does, can l have my room back?

lf this job's so tough,
l mean, why don't you just quit?

l can't. l already told Mom and Dad
that l can handle it.

l gotta show them
that l'm up to the challenge like a real man.

lf you keep on
handing in papers like this,

you're gonna be the only real man
still stuck in the eighth grade.

How did l get myself into this?
l'm behind in everything.

l don't know.
Maybe l should just tell them the truth.

l think you're gonna have to...

even though it does
go against everything l believe in.

- Hey, guys.
- Bye, Dad.

So how's my junior breadwinner doing?

l'm tired, every bone in my body aches,
and l can't see straight.

Yeah, welcome
to the working world, huh?

l'm real proud of you.
That's why l did this.

You framed my first paycheck?

No. l Perma Plaqued it.

That baby will be in there forever.

How am l supposed to cash it?

You make an interesting point.

l'll just give you the cash.

Dad, about the job...

You'll love the job. Your mom didn't think
you could handle it. We proved her wrong.

l need to talk to you about that.
l'm not so sure l can handle it.

- What do you mean? Sure you can.
- Dad, it's really tough.

- l'm thinking that maybe l should just quit.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.

l don't want to hear, ''l quit.''
Taylor men don't quit.

- l never quit a job in my life.
- l know, but l'm... l...

You took on a responsibility, l stood up
for you, you've gotta follow it through.

l've got so much going on.

Oh, come on. Every job's tough
to start out with. You'll pull through.

- l can't keep up with everything.
- You can. Look. You're doing your studies.

Look.
''The Franco-Prussian War was...''

That's already more than l know,
right there.

Hey, but Russia's not spelled
with a P, my friend.

That says ''Prussian.''

Hey, Brad, Mom and Dad
want you to come down for dinner.

Tell them l'm not hungry. l'm doing this
paper and my math at the same time.

''The Franco-Prussian War
was fought in the year 1 8 70

''minus the square root of 1 1 3.''

Oh, man.
How could l have done that?

l'll never get this paper in. My teacher
only gave me an extension till tomorrow.

l'm dead.

Well, you're gonna be even deader
when Mom sees the mess in your room.

Whoa.

This place is disgusting.

l like it.

You know, Brad, you got a big problem...
but maybe we can help.

How?

Well, l can do your homework,
and Mark here will clean your room.

No, l won't.

Mark, we're brothers.

Brothers do things for each other.

No, we don't.

For money, we do.

- How much do l have to pay you?
- lt depends on how well you want to do.

Ten bucks for an A,
five bucks for a B,

and $ 2 for handling.

What's ''handling'' supposed to mean?

Well, after l finish it,
l have to hand it to you.

Well, let's see what Marie
made us for dinner tonight.

Could it be lamb stew?

Honey, would you be offended
if l asked Marie to move in with us?

No. Not at all.
She can move in as soon as you move out.

Want to taste what's for dinner?

- l'm not that hungry.
- Marie made it.

l'm starving.

As soon as these finals are over,
l'm gonna be back there behind that stove.

Don't say that, not even joking.

Why are you home?
l thought you had band.

- Yeah. l forgot my sax. l gotta go back.
- Wait, wait, wait.

Did the teacher grade that paper
on the Franco-Prussian War?

Yeah.

Let me see it.

lt's the red folder.

Brad, you got an A!

All right!

What are you so happy about?

Can't a guy be happy for his brother?

- l-l gotta go.
- Well, don't you need a ride?

No. Eddie's mom's gonna take me.

- OK, see you later.
- OK. Bye.

Bye.

This is great.
He's handling this well.

He's doing his job real good, got an A
on that Franco-American-SpaghettiO thing.

Wait a minute.
Listen to this.

''Does war bring out the worst in men, or
is it the worst in men that brings on war?''

Oh, oh, oh.

That's good.
No wonder he got an A.

That is the same sentence that Randy
used on his paper about the Civil War.

What are you suggesting?

Brad wrote Randy's paper.

Close, but completely wrong.
Randy wrote this paper.

- Why would Randy write a paper for Brad?
- l don't know. Hey, wait. Mark.

What are you doing
emptying Brad's trash can?

lt used to be mine.

l see. So you missed it and
you're just emptying it for old times' sake?

- Exactly.
- Yeah, right. Get your can over here.

l didn't do anything.

- Are you cleaning Brad's room?
- Brad's room?

You're in a difficult position.

On one hand, you want to be loyal to Brad.
On the other hand, we pay your allowance.

- My allowance?
- And you're repeating everything we say.

And don't repeat that.

- lt can only mean one thing.
- Yeah?

Brad pays them more than we do.

Mark, come on.
We want to know what is going on.

Brad couldn't handle the job
so he paid me to do his chores.

- And Randy to do his homework?
- You didn't hear that from me.

lf he's having such a problem,
why didn't he come to us?

He said he had to show you that
he was up to the challenge, like a real man.

Oh, Tim.

What?

You told him he could do it.

- Me?
- Yeah.

l believe the exact words were,
''l have my doubts, but if you say so, Tim.''

You hold it up like that.
l'll go over by the gazebo.

Can you hear me?

Loud and clear, audio neighbor.

lt's great. Two guys talking over a distance.
Somebody should've invented it years ago.

Well, l believe they did, Tim.
lt's called the telephone.

l could have used this
to snoop on Brad.

l would have realized Randy was doing
his homework and Mark was his maid.

How did that come about?

He hired them
because he couldn't do the paper route

and schoolwork at the same time.
lt was too much.

lf he had a problem,
l wonder why he didn't tell me.

lt's hard for a boy to come to his father
and expose his fallibility.

Oh, it's not like
l haven't seen the kid in the shower before.

No. No, no, no, no, Tim.

l meant did you have any indications
that Brad was having difficulties?

No.

He said he was tired, that it was becoming
a lot of work, he wanted to quit,

but other than that, the kid...

Obviously he did come to you. Maybe you
had trouble hearing what he had to say.

l wouldn't have heard him
no matter what he said.

Why not?

l was so excited
about him having that job.

l just kept pushing him and pushing him.
l just want my kids to be great.

Tim, it's not unusual
for a father to want his son to succeed.

You know, l'm reminded
of what Wally Schirra the astronaut said:

''You don't raise heroes,
you raise sons.

''lf you treat them as sons,
they'll turn out to be heroes,

''even if it's just in your own eyes.''

l did push him way too hard.
But it wasn't on purpose.

- l know it wasn't.
- Thanks for lending me your ear.

- Tim! Thanks for lending me yours.
- Oh.

(Brad) Hey, Dad.

Hello, Brad.
Are you having dinner with us tonight?

Yeah. l'll be down in one second.
l'm just gonna take my sax up to my room.

l think your room's about done. Last l saw,
Mark was putting a mint on your pillow.

So l guess you noticed
Mark was cleaning my room.

- Yes, l noticed that.
- Hey, l gotta admit,

l was pretty surprised
when he actually volunteered to do it.

You must have been amazed when
Randy volunteered to do your homework.

l'm really sorry, Dad.

l know l got myself in deep.
l didn't even know how to get out of it.

lt's all right, it's all right. A lot of it's my fault.
l was pushing you to do this.

l didn't listen when you told me
that you didn't want to.

l wanted to show you
l could handle it.

l'm reminded of what the great astronaut,
Wally Cleaver, said...

''You can't expect
your son to do his homework

''and eat a foot-long hero
without Prussian dressing.''

What?

You're one terrific kid
and l'm real proud of you for trying this,

but the rest of this week,
concentrate on your homework.

l'll take your employees, and we'll
finish the week so you get a full paycheck.

Oh, thanks, Dad.

The reason l was doing this,
l got so into this,

was because when l had a paper route
it was really important to me.

- How come?
- lt was the first job l had after my dad died.

l had the job to show my mom
l could shoulder responsibility

and not be a goof-off
like my brothers.

l'm sure you didn't
quit your first paper route.

- No, l didn't.
- See.

l was fired.

Why were you fired?

l was trying to make it fun
and expedite it at the same time,

so l got a compressed-air gun
that would shoot the papers.

l never got the telemetry down -
the angle of attack.

l'd get some...
lt'd go... l'd get 'em...

l never got them
anywhere near the damn porch.

l would have made a lot more money
if l knew how to repair a window back then.

(Tim) These are our collections. 20...

(both) 40, 50, 55, 60.

l'm supposed to have 75.

You were docked
for the windows you broke.

l didn't break any windows.

Technically, it was your bike, your route,
done by somebody with your last name...

Dad.

l'm good for the $1 5.
You also ran over a cat's tail

and you were slapped silly
by some old woman.

Good news.
Finals are over.

- How'd you do?
- l kicked butt.

- All right, Mom.
- Thanks.

Does this mean Marie's
not gonna be cooking for us anymore?

Yes, it does.

l'm gonna be making
a Swiss steak in a marinade,

some lovely scalloped potatoes

and l got a new idea...
to use this squash l found.

You guys hungry?

Guys?

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