Original subtitles

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Doctor Wan wants those blood panels back, stat.

[phone ringing]

Student health center?

Yeah, I'll transfer you.

Hey, Kelly.

Hey, Zack. What are you doing here?

Can't a friend just visit a friend?

What do you want, Zack?

That $20 you borrowed from me.

The guys and I are going to that new club, Skeeters.

Oh, I'm really sorry, Zack.

- I'm broke. - Oh, don't worry about it.

I'll get money from Screech.

I'll just sell him a few more shares of Zack Industries.

He's still falling for that?

Oh, yeah.

He just keeps wanting to know when we're having our company picnic.

Kelly? I've got an emergency here.

Hold this pressure point while I give him a shot of adrenalin.

Ooh. You know, I-- I can see you're busy.

I better be going.

Thanks, Zack. You're a real friend.

Hey, Kel. You can always lean on me.

Excuse me a moment.

I'll be right back.

? I'm standing at the edge of tomorrow, ?

? and it's all up to me how far I go ?

? I'm standing at the edge of tomorrow ?

? I've never seen such a view before, ?

? a new world before my eyes ?

? So much for me to explore ?

? It's where my future lies ?

? Today, I'm standing at the edge of tomorrow ?

? From here, the future looks bright for me ?

? And it's all up to me how far I go ?

? It's my time to break away ?

? I'm standing at the edge of tomorrow today ?

It was amazing.

The guy had multiple contusions.

But by holding his hand and talking to him,

I helped him from going into shock.

Now he'll be up and around in no time.

How can you be sure?

He asked for my phone number.

Well, I got a new job too,

and I will be helping humanity in my own way.

Yeah? What are you doing?

I'm going to be a waitress.

You know, I hear that's how Mother Teresa started,

serving brewskies at TGI Friday's.

Yeah, joke all you want,

but someone has to serve pretzels and nachos to the needy.

And more importantly, I hear that you can make up to $150 a night

with tips down at Skeeters.

Wow, I don't make that in a week at the health center.

I can't believe you're actually considering working at Skeeters.

Do you know what kind of guys go there?

(TOGETHER) Skeeters, Skeeters, Skeeters.

Whoo.

Man, what a great place, huh?

Yeah, everything a man could want --

loud music, quality fried foods, 38-inch TVs.

38-inch waitresses.

Yeah.

Oh, come on, Slater.

Those girls were taller than that.

I figured you guys were a little classier than Skeeters.

(TOGETHER) Wrong.

Now, Leslie, I myself struck up an acquaintance

with an upstanding young waitress named Debbie.

She called me Sugar Britches.

Of course she called you Sugar Britches.

You tipped her $11 for directions to the men's room.

Hey, I had 14 Frescas. It was worth it.

So, did you have a fun time at that meat market?

Huh, Slater?

Oh, uh, Alex, it's not a meat market.

It's more of a sports bar.

I wouldn't even say bar.

It's more of a sports bistro.

Well, that's OK.

I'm just glad that you had a good time.

Really? You're not jealous?

Not at all.

That's why I'm applying to be a waitress at Skeeters.

What?

You're gonna work at that meat market?

I prefer to think of it as a meat bistro.

- [knocking] - Guys, guess what?

Both defensive tackles for the 49ers got injured.

Man, football's a rough game.

Well, actually they collided on the bus fighting for a window seat.

NFL action -- it's fantastic.

But here's the real news --

the 49ers want me to try out for the team.

- Oh yeah? - Hey, that's great, Mike.

This is a chance for a comeback.

Forget it. I'm not making a comeback.

I'm just flattered that they asked.

Wait, Mike, are you crazy?

You've got to try out.

This is a chance for you to relive the glory days.

Come on, just picture it, Mike.

The roar of the crowd.

- Rah! - Hey!

Whoo!

- Hey! - Hey!

Whoo!

Ah, who am I kidding? I'm too out of shape.

- Aw, Mike. - Come on.

OK, but I'm going to have to rewrite the ending of your autobiography.

What do you mean?

"Mike Rogers, the Wussy Years."

I am not a wussy.

I'm just a guy who won't play football because he's

too busy doing his school work.

Boy, that sure sounds like a wussy, doesn't it?

Well, if your pants were a few inches shorter,

you could be our leader.

Now, let me think about this.

- It would be a challenge. - Uh-huh.

Show those young guys I can still do it.

Yeah.

It's always fun to crack a few heads.

- That's the spirit. - There you go.

- I'm going for it. - Yeah.

- All right, Mikey. - Now you're talking.

Hey, and by the way -- since you guys are so gung-ho about this,

you can help me work out.

Football field, 5:00 a.m., be there.

5:00 a.m.?

I don't think my clock has a 5:00 a.m.

I still can't believe you're going to interview at Skeeters.

Oh, Leslie. It is just a job.

I will always have my self-esteem.

So, how do I look?

Like a bimbo.

Perfect.

Skeeters? Is this what our mothers burned their bras for in the '60s?

You know, my mother once burned a bra.

She fell asleep and the Virginia Slim fell out of her mouth.

Never mind.

Zack, what's the element symbol of iridium?

- Ir. - How about sodium?

- Na. - How do you remember all this?

Well, I name them after the girls I've dated.

Ir is Iris, and Na is Nancy.

Zack, that's great, but there's 103 elements.

What can I tell you? I'm good at chemistry.

I've got to start focusing if I want to ace this test.

Oh yeah?

When did you become so involved with chemistry?

Since I started working at the health center.

You know, I know this sounds crazy coming from me,

but I've been thinking about maybe possibly

going pre-med.

- Pre-med? - Yeah.

As in medicine?

Yeah. What's wrong with that?

Well, Kelly, no offense, but you don't exactly seem the doctor type.

I mean, remember CPR class?

Your dummy died.

Zack, I know becoming a doctor is not easy,

but I just don't want to sell myself short.

Well, yeah, as your friend, I have to tell you.

Medical school's tough. You're talking 10 years.

I'm not sure you're being realistic.

Yeah, well, it was just a thought.

Hey, I know the feeling, Kel.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be an astronaut.

And then I threw up all over Space Mountain.

I need an order of potato skins on table nine.

So how's your first night, kid?

Drafty.

You get used to it.

Did you hear about the Skeeters dip?

Is that the stuff that they pour all over the nachos?

No, no one knows what that is.

Skeeters dip is when the guys knock stuff off the table on purpose.

Now, the ladylike thing to do is to pick it up like this.

Oh, I can do that.

Not if you want to make tips you won't.

Hey, you're new here.

What's your name?

- Alex. - Alex.

Ahem.

Alex, you were flirting with that guy.

I told him my name.

And you gave him free peanuts.

Everybody gets free peanuts.

Here, have some.

I don't want your peanuts after all these other guys have touched them.

Hey, Slater.

Never knew Alex had legs like that.

Hey, my girlfriend does not have legs.

And stay away from those peanuts.

- Hi, Debbie. - Well, hi, Sugar Britches.

I'll be with you one in one minute.

She wants me bad.

Frescas all around.

- Hey, Screech. - Huh?

If I'm not back in four years, send my diploma to her house.

Pardon me, but a body like yours is a felony in most states.

But if you turn around, I'll let you off on good behavior.

Kelly?

Kelly, what are you doing here?

What does it look like I'm doing?

I'm working.

I know, but here at Skeeters?

It's not your kind of place.

Well, you seemed to think so a minute ago

when you hit on me with that lame come-on line.

It wasn't that lame.

And don't change the subject.

You shouldn't be here. I mean you're Kelly.

My Kelly. Girls like you don't work at Skeeters.

Zack, I'm a big girl now.

You can't tell me where I can work.

Besides, I'm the same girl I always was.

Another round here, sweet thing.

It's on its way, love bug.

Love bug?

Here you go.

Would you like an appetizer to nibble on?

No, you'll do just fine.

Very funny. So do you want the potato skins?

Well, that depends.

If I give you my address, will you deliver?

- Ooh! - [chuckling]

Aren't you guys cute?

Oops. I, uh, dropped my keys.

Um, Debbie will be along to pick them up in a moment.

Oh, Debbie?

Can I have a club soda, please?

I am tired of you guys hitting on me.

- Now leave me alone. - What are you, crazy?

I'm gonna tell the manager.

Good. And while you're there, tell him I quit.

Oh, there you are, Debbie.

You know, for a minute there I thought you were avoiding me.

Oh don't be silly.

Sugar Britches, you are my favorite.

I knew that.

Here, have some money.

Screech, do you know how many shares of Zack Industries

you could have bought with that?

I don't care.

I love this place.

You know, Zack, someday I'm gonna tell my kids,

this is where I met your mommy.

- [whistle] - Come on, guys, wake up.

It's comeback time for Mikey.

Oh, come on, Screech.

It's 5:00 in the morning.

Exactly, let's go.

Kelly, I don't think this job at Skeeters is such a good thing for you.

And what are you, my mother?

Look, the pay is great.

I made over $100 last night.

But you already had the job at the student health center.

That job doesn't even pay for my books.

People on liquid diets generally aren't good tippers.

But it's important work, and a job should be about more than money.

Oh, really? And what do you know about work?

I mean, you come from money.

You've never earned a dime.

Yes, I have.

Dad bought me some stock, and it went up.

Gee, is there a union for that?

OK, so maybe I haven't worked, but I could.

Fine.

Look, I can't hold down both jobs and go to school.

So why don't you fill in for me at the health center for a while?

You know, give me a chance to really make some bucks?

All right, I will.

I mean how hard could it be?

When you're done with those, you can start on these.

Sure, no problem.

Everything's under control.

Good.

In that case, go collect all the bed pans on the third floor.

Bed pans?

Don't we have people who do that?

Yes, you're them.

Hey, Leslie.

Zack? What happened?

Oh, I was playing football with Mike.

There was a fumble. I fell on the ball.

Slater fell on me.

Mike fell on him.

I think I've now experienced what childbirth feels like.

Well, where exactly does it hurt?

I can't tell you.

Isn't there a guy here I could talk to?

Well, I'm afraid not.

You know, all of a sudden I'm feeling much better.

See?

So, what are you doing here anyway?

Where's Kelly?

Well, she asked me to fill in for her here.

I never knew working was such -- work.

Oh, well, don't worry about it.

She loves her job. She'll be back.

- Hey, Kelly. - Hey.

Kelly, I am so glad you're back.

There are bed pans to be emptied on the third floor.

Well, you better get started

because I just came by to pick up my last paycheck.

I'm quitting.

From now on I'm only going to work at Skeeters.

- [knocking] - Wish me luck, guys.

I guess I'm off for my tryout.

Mike, wait a second.

What is wrong with you, Mike?

You gotta get your game face on, man.

You're going into war.

You've gotta be mean, angry.

You're right. I need to feel rage.

But I just don't feel like crushing my helmet

into the chest of my fellow man.

What's wrong with me?

Come on, Mike. You just need some motivation.

We'll help you get mad, you washed-up has-been.

Nice try.

Forget about it, Zack. Forget about it.

Mike's obviously too old to keep up with the younger guys.

Ooh, I'm almost annoyed.

I'll handle this.

Hey Mike, you know that videotape of your Superbowl highlights?

The one some idiot taped over to record "Ren and Stimpy"?

Right. Well, that idiot was me.

That was my only copy.

Good. Now use that anger, Mike.

Put down the idiot and go kill the quarterback.

- Right. Thanks, guys. - Yeah.

Oh, Mike. Put down the idiot.

Right.

Hey, guys.

- Hey. - Hey.

You look familiar. Do I know you?

Oh, give me a break.

Listen, if you guys got your nose out of the books once in a while,

you might discover there's a whole other world out there.

Looks like you discovered the world of shopping malls too.

Oh, this? Oh, I got it on sale.

It was only $400.

Boy, tips must be great.

Yeah, I finally found something I'm good at --

flirting.

So, what did I miss in European history?

Oh, not much.

Only the rise and fall of the Roman Empire.

No biggie.

I was thinking about dropping that class anyways.

Kelly, if you don't start buckling down on your schoolwork,

you're never going to amount to anything.

Boy, that sounds familiar.

When did I turn into my father?

This is supposed to be the best times of our lives, isn't it?

So what do you say we all go for a movie?

My treat.

Can't. I have class.

- Yeah. Me too. - Me too.

Uh, Leslie? What about you?

Sorry, I've got some filing to do at the student health center

until they find a replacement for you.

Gotta run.

Zack, how about it?

At least you know how to have fun.

Can't. Gotta catch up on chemistry.

You remember chem class, don't you?

And what is that supposed to mean?

It means I don't get this new lifestyle of yours.

And what am I gonna do, be a doctor?

I mean, somebody once told me I should be realistic.

Come on, Kel. I didn't mean it that way.

Save it, Zack. You said enough.

Oh, and by the way,

I owe you $20. Keep the change.

Hey, Screech. Buddy, what are you doing here, man?

It's so late.

I'm waiting for Debbie to get off work so I could ask her out.

Screech, try to follow me here.

These waitresses are friendly to everybody, especially guys.

Especially guys who tip them a lot.

Still with me?

- Yes, I am. - OK.

You're absolutely right.

It's a shame that Debbie has to work around women like them.

Screech, let me try this one more time.

Now, remember how you used to pretend to be a cowboy?

- Yeah. - Well, Debbie is just pretending.

Oh come on, Zack.

If you knew anything about women,

you'd know that Debbie doesn't want to be a cowboy.

Now excuse me, Zack.

I see my main squeeze.

Debbie, how would you like to go--

Hey, Sugar Britches, it's closing time.

Last call for my favorite customer?

Sugar Britches?

That's my name.

I bet she showed him where the bathroom was too.

Screech, I'm sorry about that.

But hey, it's just as well.

You would have broken her heart anyway.

Are you pretending now?

Yeah, just a little.

Thanks.

Oh look, it's the Boy Scout.

Did you come to pass judgment on me again?

Listen, Kelly, I'm sorry, all right?

I underestimated you, and that was wrong.

I should know by now that whenever you put your mind to something

you find a way to do it.

Listen, if you want to go into pre-med, you should.

No. No, you were right.

Pre-med? Who was I kidding?

- What's this? - It's your chemistry test.

Since you haven't been to class lately,

Professor Rothman asked me to give it to you.

Who cares? I probably flunked it.

Why don't you check it out anyway?

An A.

Listen, Kel. If you have a dream, you should go for it.

And don't let jerks like me tell you otherwise.

- [groans] - That's number one for me.

That's all right though. [knocking]

Guys? I made the team.

(TOGETHER) Hey, all right.

Yeah.

We knew you could do it, buddy.

Yeah, I'm kind of glad I tried out.

I needed to prove to myself that I wasn't over the hill.

So when do you start?

I don't.

What?

There I was busting heads with these 22-year-olds,

and all I could think about was my thesis for my master's degree.

My future's here.

So wait a minute.

We killed ourselves working out with you for nothing?

No, it wasn't for nothing.

We all had fun.

We're in great shape.

- Right guys? - Oh yeah, sure.

If you say so.

You guys are just a couple of girls.

Get me to the health center and don't tell anybody about this.

My lips are sealed.

How did I ever play football?

Kelly didn't sleep in her bed again, Zack.

I tried talking to her.

I guess I'm the last person she wants to listen to.

Kelly, you-- you could have called.

We were worried.

What are talking about? I got home early.

I made my bed an hour ago.

I've got an 8 o'clock class.

I quit Skeeters.

That's great.

So you're going back to the health center?

If I can get my job back.

It's yours.

We've got to get ready for class.

OK.

Hey, Zack?

Thanks.

You know, you're always there for me when I'm in trouble.

Why is that?

Oh, because we're friends, and we've been through a lot together.

And besides, you look pretty darn cute in that Skeeters uniform.

You didn't have to give that back, did you?

Afraid so.

Come on, I'll walk you to class.

What have we got?

Chemistry.

We sure do.

- Come on, Bob. - Good, good.

- One more. - That's good.

Two more. Come on, Bob.

- Come on, Bob. - Come on, Mike.

Come on, Mike.

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