Original subtitles

[bell rings]

? When I wake up in the morning and the alarm gives out a warning ?

? I don't think I'll ever make it on time ?

? By the time I grab my books and I give myself a look ?

? I'm at the corner just in time to see the bus fly by ?

? It's all right ?

? 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ?

? If the teacher pops a test I know I'm in a mess ?

? And my dog ate all my homework last night ?

? Ridin' low on my chair, she won't know that I'm there ?

? If I can hand it in tomorrow it will be all right ?

? It's all right ?

? 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the-- ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the-- ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the bell ?

Aah.

I've finally figured out the best thing about high school.

After graduation, you don't have to come back.

Do you guys ever wonder where we'll be a year from now?

Hopefully I'll be at college,

living in a sorority house.

Good idea, Preppie. I'll move in with you.

Yeah, and our roommates will be Tanya, Lola,

and Heather.

I can see it now.

Yo, come hither, Heather.

I can see the movie now.

"Pigs Go To College."

Hey, guys.

What's up?

What's in the box?

A gift for Lisa.

This is our last year in school together

and I'm going to win her heart if it's the last thing I do.

Face it, Little Screech.

It's never going to happen.

Did you know your Adam's apple shakes when you're judgmental?

You've been after Lisa since you were kids.

She's always turned you down. Give it up.

What are you saying?

Lisa's not interested.

Au contraire, my perky pal.

She's just been playing hard to get for the last...

10 years.

She's not playing. She doesn't like you.

Lay off.

If you like Lisa, go for it.

Thanks, buddy.

Guess what?

I can't wait till you guess.

- You love me? - Never.

I got the interview.

With the recruiter from the Fashion Institute?

That's wonderful.

You guys, this is my dream.

I've got to impress that recruiter,

do something that really makes me stand out.

Wear your underwear outside your clothes.

That's how Dad got Mom.

How about a fashion show?

A fashion show's a good idea.

How can I do it on short notice?

Easy. We'll all help you.

I'd love to model.

And I love watching hot women.

He did it. He said the "w" word.

Slater said women,

not chick, not babe, not girlie-girl.

Women! It's a miracle!

Sorry, guys.

You were saying?

This means so much to me.

If you'd help me, I'd be your friend for life.

We'll meet in the Home-Ec room after school.

You guys are the greatest.

Hey, congratulations.

Thank you.

Lisa, accept this gift as a token of my affection.

Is it something that was born or hatched?

No. Go ahead. Open it.

This is for me?

It's beautiful.

It's real gold!

Why did you spend all this money?

I didn't.

My aunt Mabel died and left it to me.

Open it.

I'll be hanging around your neck forever.

Oh, joy.

Oh, bliss.

Everyone, listen up.

You two help Lisa sew all the clothes.

Why don't you guys sew?

We'll be finding a place to have the show,

setting up the lights, building a stage, et cetera.

I don't like that et cetera.

It's when we interview the models.

Et cetera.

I could be a model.

Watch.

He is not modeling in my show.

We'll figure out something later.

I'm worried.

What if my designs aren't good enough?

My college career depends on this.

Your stuff's the greatest. Everyone knows that.

Right. You're a terrific designer.

And you have the most beautiful hands in America.

I have 16 of your broken nails at home.

Hey, Zack, I've got it --

what I can do for Lisa's show.

Sorry, Screech. There's no room for a burper.

No. I can be the fashion commentator.

Watch.

Say, Mr. Belding,

that's a great suit you're wearing.

Thanks, Screech. I think so, too.

Mr. Belding, wearing a suit popular 5 short years ago,

has lapels that provide a hiding spot for used dental floss.

Screech, get outta here.

I can't. I go to school here. Sheesh!

Well, that was sorta good, but...

Not really.

Well, then you write what I say.

But please let me be part of Lisa's big moment.

Look, I'll ask Lisa, OK?

Great. I'm thanking you in advance.

Thanks!

Oh, Lisa, guess what.

You can have a show at the Max.

Zack, you're amazing.

But there's one other little teensy-weensy minor detail.

Well?

Screech wants to do the commentary.

I want a million dollars. So?

Come on.

He wants to help.

No one would describe your designs with more love.

You're right.

But no.

Lisa, give him a chance.

I'm writing everything he's going to say.

Trust me.

You I trust. It's him I'm worried about.

Please.

Oh, OK.

Are you ready, Zack?

Ta-da.

Now, you look incredible.

Yeah?

Well, these clothes are very nice.

One last touch.

Try this on.

O.K.

How's that?

Turn around.

Mmm, you are looking smooth.

Well, I hope you take Visa, Lisa,

because I'm wearing this stuff home.

Don't get it dirty.

I may design, but I don't do laundry.

You're going to be famous one day.

Promise not to forget us?

I could never forget you.

I wouldn't be doing this without you.

No problem.

I'm having fun.

Me, too.

- Zack. - Hmm?

Thanks for everything.

I really mean it.

- Good night. - Good night.

Good night, Lisa.

Good night, Zack.

You kissed Zack? That's unbelievable!

We kissed each other.

It just happened.

A big fat pimple in the middle your forehead

on prom night just happens.

Kisses require planning.

Aah!

What's wrong?

I just sewed my thumb to the zipper.

Whatever you do, don't bleed on the fabric.

Oh, thanks for your concern.

What happened to Kelly?

She's trying on the dress you just finished sewing.

"Halloween, Part 7: The Fashion Disaster."

Did you even follow the pattern?

Oh, fine. Blame the seamstress.

Get me out of this.

Let me help you.

Well, Lisa, aren't you going to tell Kelly about your romantic evening?

What romantic evening?

Guess who she kissed?

Tom Cruise?

Cold.

Max Nerdstrom?

Eeuyuu! Gross.

I wouldn't even kiss him with your lips.

Well, then who?

Zack. Right smack on the lips.

You did?

Mm-hmm!

Do you mind if I talk about my own kisses?

You never wore the gossip crown?

Zack was coming on to you?

It wasn't like that at all.

It was sweet.

You mean you wanted him to kiss you?

No. Yes.

I don't know.

It happened, and I liked it.

I'm happy for you.

I bet you would make a cute couple.

Except I wonder if it meant anything to Zack.

Why not ask him?

I think I will.

Good. First get my arm out. It's falling asleep.

Jessie, hand me the scissors.

I can't. I just sewed my sleeve to this stupid machine.

Remember, when you get to the end of the runway,

smile like this.

All right?

How do you know so much about fashion shows?

A fashion show is guys watching girls.

I'm an expert.

She's here! She's here!

The recruiter from F.I.T. is here.

Sitting with Mr. Belding.

Boy, she's well-dressed!

Here we go. It's almost showtime.

All right.

What if she hates it,

thinks my designs are boring or color's too drab?

I'll die.

Lisa, relax.

But, Zack, so much is riding on this.

All my life I've dreamed of going to F.I.T.

Just believe in yourself.

You're right.

OK.

I believe in myself. I believe in myself.

But what if she doesn't believe in myself?

Me.

What if I used polka dots when I should've used plaids?

You'll do fine. Let's get out there.

Way to go, Lis!

Oh, Lisa...

Wait. Um...

About last night...

You mean the kiss?

Yeah. Um...

I don't know what to say.

It was...

It was... nice.

I thought so, too.

Look, thanks for all your help on the show.

I really appreciate it.

I love working for you.

Thanks.

Good luck.

Welcome to the first Lisa Turtle Fashion Show.

I'd like to introduce the hottest designer of the nineties --

Lisa.

Thank you, Zack.

Thank you for being here.

I especially want to thank Ms. Parks

from the Fashion Institute in New York.

I hope you like what you see.

Now, let our commentator take over --

Mr. Samuel "Screech" Powers.

Lisa, you truly are the master of double stitching

and double-crossing.

Aren't these ladies lovely?

The delightful, durable frocks modeled by Jessie and Kelly,

who'd never treat their men like dirt,

is pure Belgian wool,

which lovely Lisa has been yanking over my eyes.

Thank you, girls. Lovely.

Interesting sense of humor, that boy.

Next, for the high school senior with a sporty flair,

Lisa has created a rugged yet scholastic look.

I hate it.

Hey.

What is he doing? He's ruining my show.

I don't know. I didn't write that stuff.

The pants are denim, the shirt is corduroy,

and the boots, which Lisa uses to stomp over my heart,

are the finest Italian leather.

Isn't he just the wittiest kid?

Thank you, A.C. You're a good man,

unlike this creep in a stunning wool blazer.

Are you crazy? Read the cards.

Model Zack Morris is wearing the perfect outfit

for stabbing your best friend in the back.

Thank you, Zack, for destroying my life.

I'm out of here.

Well, uh...

Why don't I pick up where Screech left off?

Zack Morris is modeling, uh...

Uh...

A very nice pair of pants.

Long pants.

Oh, and they are lovely.

- Handsome. - Handsome.

And--and--and tan?

Tan.

And a very manly tan they are, too, Zack.

I can't believe he did this. I'll kill him.

Hey, that's no way to resolve this problem.

I'll kill him for you.

What am I, mashed potatoes?

I want to kill him, too.

I'm sorry, Lisa.

Lisa.

That was quite an interesting show.

I am so embarrassed, Ms. Parks.

Can I have another chance?

There's no time for another show.

I'm driving Ms. Parks straight to the airport.

That bad?

Well, the show was unusual,

but I know fashion talent when I see it,

and I am recommending you

for admission to F.I.T.

Lisa, that's great!

You do?

You mean I got in?

Girl, you are too much.

I mean, thank you, ma'am.

Congratulations, Lisa.

I am so proud, I could cry,

boy, I just love these kids.

Once they voted me Principal of the Year.

I'll tell you more about it in my car.

Taxi!

Lisa, you'd better look at this.

I found it by the door.

"To Lisa, the one and only love of my life.

"I kiss the ground you walk on

and hope one day I can kiss you, too."

"Love, Screech."

Oh, no.

I better go find him.

Screech, I want to talk.

Go away.

Look, I owe you an explanation.

Isn't there anything I can do?

Yeah. Run head-first into that wall.

I know I deserve that.

We're best friends. Let's talk.

You would have told me you like Lisa.

I didn't know what happened.

Lisa's got a real doofus now.

Can't we work this out?

You stole my girl, Mr. Bimbo.

Now I'm going to make you pay.

All right. What should I do?

Fight for her.

Meet me after school by the willow trees.

There are no willow trees.

Meet me by the oak trees at 3:00.

I'd fight you now,

but I want you to live in fear.

Poor little Screech. I feel sorry for him.

You won't really fight him.

Of course not.

You'd better think of something.

Screech is ready to beat on your bones.

Hi.

Hi. Did you find Screech?

Yeah, I did.

He's, uh, really upset.

What happened?

He wants to break me in 2 million pieces

and sell me as a jigsaw puzzle.

Oh, no. What are we going to do now?

I'm not sure.

I guess that kiss really shook him up.

Yeah, well, Zack...

That kiss really shook me up, too.

In fact...

it scared me a little.

I never planned for this to happen.

It wasn't in my date book, either.

I don't know what's happening between us, Lisa,

but it feels good inside.

It sure does.

First I got to solve my problem with Screech.

Yeah.

Hey. There you are, Morris.

The school's betting on your fight with Screech.

Oh. Terrific.

You mean somebody's actually betting that Screech might win?

Wake up and smell the Bosco.

We're betting on how many teeth he loses.

I picked seven, so go easy on him.

[bell rings]

Morris.

You've got an appointment with fate,

and fate's got curly hair.

Can't we work this out another way?

Oh. You're chickening out.

That yellow streak extends from your hair down your back.

Screech, fighting never solves anything.

Ho... wa! Wa!

Stay out of this, Slater. It's not your fight.

I wouldn't want to have to hurt you, too.

Wa! Wa! Ha ha wa! Wa!

I'm not going near that loon.

Ha! Ah...

Screech, please. I don't want to fight you.

So, you're not only chicken, you're scared, too.

Don't do that.

Come on, wimp. Fight.

Look, I'm sorry I hurt you, all right?

Sorry? You're sorry?

You were my best friend, Zack.

You could have had any other girl in school.

Why Lisa?

Why did you have to steal my dream?

I hate you.

If it bothers you, I won't date Lisa.

What?

You really mean it?

Sure.

Fine. Don't date her.

Oh, that is it. This boy's life is over.

Screech, you have no right interfering in my life.

But I love you.

I know.

But it's time to get over me.

Screech, you're not my boyfriend.

You never were.

Now, Zack likes me.

And I like him, too.

Zack, would you really give Lisa up for me?

Yeah. I wouldn't want to hurt you.

Really?

Yeah.

Really?

Really.

Well, Lisa, I... I guess you're right.

I guess it is time to let you go.

You weren't mine to begin with.

You were my first love, Lisa.

I'll never forget you.

I'll never forget you, either, Screech.

Thanks, Screech. Friends?

Aw, shucks. Friends.

Go ahead and take her.

But treat her well, or I'll come after you.

Screech, that was a very noble thing you just did.

Losing your first love is never easy.

That's true.

But I've learned it's... time to move on.

I'm sure there's someone for you.

When you find her, don't take no for an answer.

You're right.

Jessie, have I ever told you how much I adore your Adam's apple?

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