Original subtitles

(bell rings)

? When I wake up in the morning and the alarm gives out a warning ?

? I don't think I'll ever make it on time ?

? By the time I grab my books and I give myself a look ?

? I'm at the corner just in time to see the bus fly by ?

? It's all right ?

? 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ?

? If the teacher pops a test I know I'm in a mess ?

? And my dog ate all my homework last night ?

? Ridin' low in my chair, she won't know that I'm there ?

? If I can hand it in tomorrow it will be all right ?

? It's all right ?

? 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the-- ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the-- ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the bell ?

- Hey, Preppie. How's it going? - Yeah, are you okay?

He'll be fine. Leave him alone.

What's the big deal? Am I supposed to be upset about something?

Yeah, after Kelly dumped you the other night,

I'm surprised you even got out of bed.

Maybe you'll meet somebody at my Sweet Sixteen party.

Remember, you guys, it's this Saturday.

Only five shopping days left.

It sounds excellent.

Well, here's your invitation and yours, and yours.

- Don't I get one? - Well, okay.

But if you have a previous engagement, I understand.

In fact... I'll pay for it. See you guys later.

You know, Zack, like my Uncle Charlie used to say,

"Women are like vines. If you fall off one,

hey, you can swing with another."

You know, you're not just a pig, you are a gorilla-pig.

Zack, you'll be all right.

Hey, Kelly is just another chick, and now she's out of my life.

Yeah.

But not out of your locker.

- Hey, Kelly. - Hey.

- Here's an invitation to my party. - Thanks.

And here's a list of all my favorite stores in the mall.

Great. This will be a great chance for you guys to get to know Jeff.

Jeff?

It's okay if I bring him, isn't it?

I guess so. I mean, I hadn't really thought about it,

- but yeah, sure, go ahead. - Thanks.

She doesn't even care about what she did to Zack.

Yeah, now she expects us to hang out with that frat-boy babe stealer.

- Hi, guys. - Hi, Kel. How's it going?

(bell rings)

There she is.

Hey, I can handle this. She's nobody special.

I can't let her know I'm miserable.

Ahem..

Hi, Zack.

Oh, hey, Kelly. How you doing? Nice jacket.

- Good morning, class. - Good morning, Miss Simpson.

I said "Good morning, class."

Didn't your parents teach you any manners?

Miss Simpson, I have a doctor's appointment today.

May I leave class early?

Yes, your hair is curly. Now, let's get started.

Today, we turn to the romantic poems

of Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

So, let's have Bayside's most loved couple

recite a poem for us. Zack and Kelly, if you please.

No! No. Well, I mean, let's me and Slater read it instead.

Oh, Ms. Spano. Don't be such a ham.

Here we are. Begin when ready.

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth--"

Mr. Morris! This is a love poem.

This time recite it slower and with feeling.

(nervous laugh)

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth--"

And I love thee to stop! I can't take it anymore!

(whining)

Well, it certainly moved Mr. Screech.

(all chuckling)

Hey, Screech -- tell me about the time

when Zack made Mr. Belding think he was going crazy.

It was great. He rigged his office so that every 15 minutes

his desk would shake and his pictures would rattle.

You did that?

Then Mr. Belding's running in and out of his office all day

screaming, "Earthquake!"

You should have been there, Slater. He got so whacked out,

he called Caltech and tried to convince them

there was a faultline underneath his desk.

I'll bet. That's beautiful. Hey, Zack, you are an artiste.

- You think so? - Definitely. Yeah.

(movie music playing)

I'm glad we came, guys. It was a good idea.

- Psst, Slater? - What?

Slater!

Hey, shut up, man. I'm trying to watch the movie.

Yeah, shut up, Screech.

(low) "Eff-Jay and elly-Kay."

"On't-day, et-lay, ack-Zay, ee-say."

- What-ay? - Oy vey.

What's going on?

Screech is starting to feel real sick.

I am? Oh yeah. Oh, my pancreas!

All: Shh!

(tires screeching)

(gunshots, woman screams)

(squeals) Oh, no!

I'm outta here.

When I was four years old, my father promised me

anything I wanted for my Sweet Sixteen birthday party.

- So? - So, he let me down.

- Well, what do you want? - MC Hammer.

Lisa, aren't you overdoing it a bit?

Girl, I turn 16 once.

It's gonna be the social event of the season.

Oh, do you want me to jump out of the cake, babe?

No, I'd like you to jump into the cake while it's baking.

What's up, guys?

Lisa, about your party, I just can't make it.

What are you talking about? Everybody's gonna be there.

That's the problem. Kelly will be there too.

Of course she is. She's coming with--

Oh-hh...

(together) "Oh-hh..."

Yeah, "Oh-hh." Sorry, Lisa.

Zack, what happened? You were doing fine yesterday.

Sure, right up until I caught them at the movies.

People go to the movies all the time.

Yeah, but most people come up for air.

(mimics kissing)

Hi, guys. Hi, Zack.

- Bye, guys. - (Screech grumbles)

- What's wrong with him? - As if you didn't know.

Why are you ruining Zack's life?

Whoa. What are you talking about?

Zack was at the movies last night.

People go to the movies all the time.

But not all of them make out in front of their ex-boyfriends.

We were not making out. We were just cuddling.

You know, Kelly, I'd hoped you'd be a little more sensitive.

- At least you've got somebody. - Yeah.

What am I supposed to do? Call ahead before I go anyplace

- to see if Zack's there? - Both: Yes.

You're the one who told me to be honest with him about Jeff.

- Now you're telling me to hide it? - Both: Yes!

If you two are sharing a brain, why don't you get one that works?

(slams)

I've got to keep my mind off of Kelly.

So I'm going to do something I've never done before --

(taps) homework.

Bad idea.

I know. Television.

Announcer: Next on "Married with Children,"

Kelly dumps her boyfriend for a French fry chef.

Too much television is bad for you anyway.

Radio announcer: Next time your secretary leaves you hanging,

call us. We're the Kelly Girls.

- (radio off) - Gosh.

- (knocking on door) - Please, just go away.

Hey, Zack. We came to cheer you up.

Listen, guys, I have to work this out on my own.

Zack, you're Bayside's most eligible bachelor.

I've got a list with girls who want to go out with you.

Maybe I don't want to go out with anyone, all right?

Look, Preppie, you can't spend the rest of your life in your room.

Well, I don't know, Slater. It's a pretty nice room.

Zack, you don't see Kelly sitting around being depressed, do you?

- Oh, cheer me right up. - Face it. It's over.

Maybe you're right. If Kelly doesn't care, why should I, right?

- Slater: Right. - Bring on the babes.

Great. I know this girl who would love to go out with you.

Her name is Sue and besides being pretty, she's got a great mind.

And she loves to read so she's got a lot to say.

Like, I figured Danielle Steel must be writing all of Jackie Collins'

romance novels because, like, they're all the same.

Well, not exactly the same. I mean, they have to be,

like, a little bit different or everybody would know.

(tires screeching, gunshots)

(woman screams)

Have you read "Hollywood Wives"?

Jessie: You have got to go out with Cassie.

She's got a great personality and an insatiable hunger for life.

You know, after the movie, we should go to Antonio's.

I have this craving for a big bowl of spaghetti and meatballs.

(gunshots, woman screams)

(gasps) I'm out of popcorn!

Screech: You never met my cousin Kimberly, did you?

A lot of guys think she's cute, if you like that long-legged,

gorgeous, blonde ballerina type.

Oh, he's so mean. I hope they catch him.

(tires screeching, gunshots)

(woman screams)

Oh no!

Kim, how would you feel about a burger after the movie?

I know a great place where we can go.

Kelly, are you gonna get that table tonight,

or were you waiting to serve them breakfast?

Let 'em starve.

Why don't you make up with your friends?

You're acting like a bunch of high school kids.

We are a bunch of high school kids, okay?

You've known them a lot longer than you've known me.

Come on. Go over and straighten this out and you'll all feel better.

- Maybe you're right. - Okay.

Hi, guys. How ya doin'?

Slater: Okay. I'll have a double cheeseburger.

- Girls: Cheeseburger. - Do you have any specials?

- Cheeseburger. - How's Zack doing?

See? You guys are wrong. She does remember his name.

Well, this is the place. Hey, look who's here.

Kimberly, I want you to meet some of my friends.

This is Jessie, this is Slater, this is Lisa, and you know Screech.

Hey, cuz. Missed you at Aunt Gertrude's birthday party.

We played "Pin the Tail on Uncle Fred" again.

- Hi, Zack. - Oh, hi. I'm glad you're here.

Can you get us a table? Something really romantic.

Yeah, sure. Right this way.

See you guys later.

Wow! Look at him. He's really happy.

How could you be related to her?

- Well, she's adopted. - Slater: Oh, that makes sense.

- Come on, Zack. Let me order. - Let's split a milkshake.

One chocolate milkshake with two straws.

Would you like to dance?

- I'd love to. - All right.

(romantic instrumental music playing)

Whoa.

That's "A-12" -- Zack and Kelly's song.

Why would he do that? That's so cruel.

To get even with her.

What a creep. Kelly does not deserve that.

She didn't deserve to be snubbed by us either.

Right.

Excuse me, Zack. Can we talk?

This will only take one second.

So, what's up, Kimber-- oh, I'm sorry, Kelly.

Zack, this is our song, A-12. It's sacred.

No, no, no. A-12 was sacred.

Right up until you dumped me for that jerk.

Don't you dare call him a jerk. You don't even know Jeff.

Right now, the only jerk I see is you.

My gosh, can you believe her? I told her I wanted

a strawberry shake instead and she gets all upset.

I heard every word, you creep.

How dare you use me to get back at your old girlfriend?

No, no, wa-- ugh!

Kelly...

I'm really sorry about the way I've been treating you.

Yeah, me too. I've been narrow-minded,

judgmental and pigheaded.

You were just being yourself.

I deserved that. I did.

Kelly, can you ever forgive us?

Just don't make it a habit. Now give me a hug.

- Lisa: Thank you. - Uh, I'll see you guys later.

- Oh, rats! Is Kelly gone? - Cut it out, Zack.

After what she did, I can't believe you're still talking to her.

That's not fair. Don't make us choose between you and Kelly.

Yeah. You're way out of line.

She wasn't out of line when she smacked me?

If I were Kelly, you'd still be pulling a hairbrush out of your ear.

Don't get me started.

It was your fault for bringing your date there.

You're the ones who convinced me to date again.

Jessie: But we didn't tell you to rub Kelly's face in it.

You really hurt her and you did it on purpose. That really stinks.

I hope you'll be more mature at my party.

The only way I'll come to your party is if you disinvite Kelly.

That's it.

Look, Kelly is my friend too, and she's gonna be at my party.

If you can't accept that, then don't come.

That's fine. Then I won't go.

(slams)

Take back your jacket, your sweater,

your lucky pom-poms, and your stupid volleyball--

Hey, hey, hey. Hey! What is going on, here?

Zack, this is not your bedroom. Clean this mess up.

Why don't you clean it yourself?

My office. Now.

(knocking)

Come on, Zack. We don't want to be late for Lisa's party.

I'm not going. Here, give this to Lisa for me.

Let's go. Get dressed and you can give it to her yourself.

I said I am not going. Do you have an earwax buildup?

But it's gonna be a blast.

There's even gonna be a Jell-O mold of Michael Jackson.

If we jiggle it, it'll moonwalk across the potato salad.

Thanks, Screech. But after the way I've been acting,

you're probably the only one that wants me there.

You think we're gonna stop being your friend because you messed up?

- Well... - You mess up all the time.

It's what you do best.

But this time I really acted like an idiot.

If you can't be an idiot with your friends,

who can you be an idiot with?

- Come on, let's go party. - I don't think so. Not this time.

Well, okay, but you're being an idiot.

Remember, it's better to be dumped by the best-looking girl

than to have never been dumped at all.

(dance music plays)

(doorbell rings)

- Hey, Lisa. - Hi.

- Happy birthday. - Thanks.

A mini-skirt! Thanks.

- Hey, Lisa. Happy Birthday. - Thanks.

Wow! A charm bracelet! Thanks!

Happy birthday, Lisa. I poked holes in it so he can breathe.

- Is Zack coming? - Uh, no. He stayed home.

That's probably safer, 'cause Kelly's bringing Jeff.

- Did he send a present? - Yup.

But my present ate it. I'm sorry.

(doorbell rings)

Happy Sweet Sixteen, Lisa.

Oh, I wasn't expecting earrings, Kelly, thank you.

Hi, we haven't been formally introduced.

- I'm Lisa Turtle. - Hi, Jeff Hunter.

- Thanks for inviting me. - Sure.

Well, we're gonna go say hi to everybody. Bye.

Hi, guys. You all know Jeff.

So, Slater, Kelly tells me you wrestle.

- Yeah. - I used to wrestle in high school.

- Were you any good? - Won my division a few times.

Really? We should talk.

- All right. - All right then.

Jeff, when I first found out about you and Kelly,

I didn't want to give you a chance,

but if you're good enough for her, you're good enough for me.

Hey, thank you.

- All right, Jeff. - We'll talk...

Well, even though I'm supposed to hate you

'cause you stole my best friend's woman,

I guess you're not a sleazeball after all.

Thanks, Screech. I'm gonna go get some punch.

- Lisa, where's Zack? - He's not coming.

I never meant to hurt him.

We know, Kelly. He'll get over it.

I hope so.

Jessie: ? Happy birthday to you.. ?

All: ? Happy birthday to you ?

? Happy birthday, dear Lisa ?

? Happy birthday to you ?

(applause)

One more time! ? Happy birthday to.. ?

Sorry I'm late, Lisa. Happy birthday.

Thanks, Zack. I wasn't even expecting you.

A good friend convinced me I was being an idiot.

Excuse me, I have to go settle something.

Please don't mess up my party.

- Hi, Zack. - Hi.

Look... I'm sorry for the way I treated you.

I was more hurt than I thought and didn't know how to deal with it.

I noticed.

You are a very hard girl to get over, Kelly.

But I'd rather have you as a friend than not have you at all.

Oh, Zack.

Hey, congratulations, Jeff.

You got a great girl. Treat her right.

Hey, you got it, man.

One of the hardest things about being a teenager

is losing your first love.

I don't know if I'll ever get over Kelly.

Excuse me. Do you believe in love at first sight?

On the other hand, I absolutely believe in love at first sight.

(instrumental theme music plays)

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