Original subtitles

(bell rings)

? When I wake up in the morning and the alarm gives out a warning ?

? I don't think I'll ever make it on time ?

? By the time I grab my books and I give myself a look ?

? I'm at the corner just in time to see the bus fly by ?

? It's all right ?

? 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ?

? If the teacher pops a test I know I'm in a mess ?

? And my dog ate all my homework last night ?

? Ridin' low in my chair, she won't know that I'm there ?

? If I can hand it in tomorrow it will be all right ?

? It's all right ?

? 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the-- ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the-- ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the bell ?

Love is in the air, and you'll never guess

who's the hottest couple at Bayside.

Nope. It's not me and Kelly.

I mean we're hot but these two are sizzling.

Jessie and Slater? Nah, they're a couple of ice cubes compared to...

(Violet snorts, laughs)

Oh, Samuel, you're such a funny hunk. (giggles)

Quit it, I'm not that funny.

Here they are, Bayside's own love connection.

Violet and Screech.

Look at Screech.

I haven't seen him this happy since Mr. Ed was colorized.

Oh, look at Violet, she's got stars in her eyes.

And rocks in her head.

My cat won't even go near Screech when he has a fish in his pocket.

Lisa, leave him alone -- I think they make a cute couple.

I had a swell time at the movies Saturday, Sammy.

Oh, me too. It was nice of your father to drive us,

but when he takes you places, does he always wear that uniform?

That wasn't Daddy, that was Edward our chauffeur.

Hey, we're bowling after school, you want to come?

Thanks, Zack, but I have Glee Club rehearsal. You guys should join!

- (Slater groans) - Well, uh, I'd love to Violet, really --

but you see I have a conflict with detention.

I had pizza delivered to geometry.

The Glee Club is not really my style, Violet.

I like more active things -- football, wrestling... Jessie.

Besides, the Glee Club is for geeks.

Well, my parents insist I have an extracurricular activity.

So the Glee Club is perfect for me -- I can hide in the group.

I'd love to join the Glee Club and hide with you, Violet.

(snorts, laughs) Oh.

Samuel, maybe our Glee Club will win the All-City Sing --

we can both go to the finals in Hawaii.

Hawaii?

Now that's something to sing about.

I can't believe you talked me into this, Preppie.

I've missed two days of wrestling

to sing four-part harmony with three geeks.

Hey, you're off our Christmas list, jock-boy.

Okay, my gleeful glee clubbers, places.

- Slater: Right. - Hey, what's up?

Now, let's be bouncy with our beat.

(sneezes)

Off-key, Lisa. And wait till I start.

Can I move, please? I don't want to catch her cold.

Let's focus, fellas and females.

- Hello, everyone. - All: Hey, Mr. Belding.

- Hi, Tuttle. - What are you doing on my turf?

The All-City Sing is one week away,

and I would like see what kind of progress you're making.

If needed to be nagged, I'd call your wife.

Okay, Tuttle. Let's just see what you've got.

Okay, everyone, "The Civil War Medley."

Ready?

One, two, three, four.

? When Johnny comes marching home again, hoorah, hoorah... ?

(out of tune) ? When Johnny comes marching home again... ?

? Oh I wish I was in the land of cotton ?

? Old times there were not forgotten ?

? Look away, look away, look away, Dixieland ?

(yells) No, no, altos then sopranos!

(overlapping noise)

(yells) Enough, enough!

Stop!

? ...Marching home again, hoorah, hoorah-- ?

- We've come a long way. - Tuttle.

The All-City Sing is right here at Bayside this year.

A performance like that could embarrass the entire school,

not to mention the kids.

I'm giving you 48 hours to shape up...

or I'll be forced to withdraw this team from the competition.

Come on, Screech, we've got to think

of a plan to make the Glee Club sound better.

Why don't we cut out the singing part?

- (phone rings) - I got it. I got it.

Hello.

Oh yeah, Violet, he's right here.

Hello, my heart.

Uh-huh.

Okay, hold on.

Violet got tickets to a concert at Cal State tonight,

she wants to know if we can go.

Screech, please. We've got to think tonight.

Violet, please. We've got to think tonight.

Oh! I mean, I'm so sorry, my heart.

But we can't do it. See you tomorrow.

(kisses)

Zack, maybe we should go.

We could pick up some pointers from some real singers.

What do you mean, my heart?

Now you got me saying it.

It's not everyday you get to see the California Glee Club.

You're right. Call her back, tell her we're going.

- I'm bringing something with us. - We're bringing your underwear?

No, you nitwit. I'm bringing my tape recorder.

Good thing. You don't have enough underwear for the entire Glee Club.

All right, everybody. Just do what we practiced.

The progress we've made might not be clear to the amateur ear.

Enough excuses, Tuttle. Your time is up.

Let's just hear what you've got.

Okay, everyone. Remember: posture, pitch and pray.

(lip syncing) ? Oh when the saints go marching in ?

? Oh when the saints go marching in ?

(Perfect harmony) ? Go marching in ?

? Oh Lord, I want to be in that number ?

? When the saints go marching in ?

? Oh Lord, I want to be in that number ?

? When the saints ?

? Go ?

? Marching in ?

? I want to see the saints march in ?

My goodness.

You sound like a completely different Glee Club.

Mr. Tuttle, I was wrong. I'm sorry.

Yes, I'd say you made a total fool of yourself.

- I said I'm sorry. - Okay.

It's clear you're going to make Bayside proud at the All-City Sing.

(cheers)

- Bring home a winner. - Okay.

Okay... I've just witnessed a miracle.

I'd like to know how it was accomplished.

Well, sir, it was a miracle of modern technology.

The reason we sound like a completely different Glee Club,

is because we were a completely different Glee Club.

Zachary, that's despicable, deceitful...

and I'm delighted you did it!

All right.

But what are we going to do in the competition?

Yeah, we can fool Belding, but we'll never fool the judges.

Fear not! Now that you've bought me some time,

I'll have you singing like you've never sung before.

Well, that's good, Mr. Tuttle, because we've never sung before.

(laughing)

Now that the Glee Club is in the competition,

Mr. Tuttle and I have come up with a plan...

feature the best singers and hide everyone else.

Slater, can you hold the pitch?

Sure, but someone's got to throw me the ball.

That must be some sort of jock joke. (scoffs)

Settle, singers. All right, Kelly.

- Let's hear you sing a scale. - (Kelly clears throat)

? Do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do ?

Well, you got all the words right.

Jessie, you're up next.

Oh, are we keeping you from surgery, Dr. Spano?

Lisa's got a cold and I am not going to allow

her germs to invade my body.

Come on, Jessie, you've got a great voice.

Don't you want to go to Hawaii?

What good will it do me if I've got pneumonia?

Look, all we need is one good singer.

Yeah, and the rest of us can hum.

Violet, you're up.

(clears throat)

(Plays chord)

? Do, re ?

? Mi, fa ?

? So, la ?

? Ti, do ?

- Whoa. - (murmurs)

- Try the next octave. - Okay.

(chord plays)

? Do, re ?

? Mi, fa ?

? So, la ?

? Ti, do ?

(opera trill)

Zack: We've got Hawaii in the bag.

Fantastic, Violet!

You're going to be our soloist.

Me? In front of the group, all by myself?

No, no, no. Please get someone else.

Screech, old buddy.

She's your woman.

Take her out in the hall and talk her into it.

(sighs) Come here, my heart.

But, Samuel, all those people will be staring at me.

My goal in life is to blend in. (giggles)

Don't worry, Violet. You'll be fantastic.

I'll be right there behind you,

kind of like your nerd in shining armor.

- Oh, you promise? - I promise, my heart.

All right, I'll do it -- for you.

(Violet sighs, giggles)

Oh, you're such a doll.

I know my parents will like you just as much as I do.

They want you to come to dinner Saturday night.

Huh?

Yeah, they're really eager to meet you.

Oh, I got to run. Edward's waiting with the limo. Bye.

Hey, Screech! Did you talk her into it?

- Yeah. - All right. You stud.

- But, I'm in terrible trouble. - Why?

Her parents invited me over for dinner.

They're rich. I don't know how I'm supposed to act around them.

Don't worry, we'll help you.

We'll teach you everything you need to fit in.

Screech, if you really want to get in good with her mother, say,

"Excuse me. Has anyone ever told you look very much like--"

And then name some big movie star. Moms always fall for that one.

Is that why you told my mother she looks like Candice Bergen?

Oh, no. That's true.

Hey, Screech. How did it go?

- Tell me every single detail. - From the beginning.

I did just what you guys told me to do.

Mrs. Bickerstaff, has anyone ever told you

that you look like Arnold Schwarzenegger?

(piano plays discordantly)

So these are frogs' legs?

If I eat them will I get warts?

(pianos plays off-key)

Why do you call these finger-bowls?

(slurping)

Mmm, this lemon soup is delicious.

Can I have seconds?

Mrs. Bickerstaff, where are you going?

Mrs. Bickerstaff?

I guess I blew it.

Screech, I'm sure it's not as bad as you think.

How are my singers today?

- Zack: Good. - Mr. Tuttle: Good.

And here's my star.

Violet, you're our ticket to Hawaii.

I'm sorry, Mr. Tuttle, but I'm quitting the Glee Club.

- All: What? - Slater: Quitting the Glee Club?

She hates me and doesn't want to be around me anymore.

Jessie, it's up to you. You've got to take over.

You're the only one with a voice as good as Violet's.

(strained whisper) You want to bet?

I caught Lisa's cold.

Sorry!

(crying)

(whimpering)

Violet, is that you?

(Violets snorts, sniffles)

Who else?

(bawling)

It's so awful. I don't know where to start.

(raspy voiced) Why don't you start with

why'd you quit the Glee Club.

Oh, I'm sorry about that. I know I let everyone down.

It would just be too painful. (snorts)

Violet, what would be too painful?

Being around Samuel.

You see, he made a few mistakes when he came to my house for dinner.

And you hate him because of that?

(cries louder, snorts)

He thinks I hate him?

Oh no! Poor Samuel.

Well, yeah. The poor dork--

I-- I-- I mean the poor handsome dork is miserable.

I have to tell him the truth.

(snorts and sniffles)

Zack, I'm sorry I drove Violet out of the Glee Club,

and ruined our chances for Hawaii.

That's okay, Screech.

I'm just sorry you lost your girlfriend.

Thanks. Me too.

Violet!

- Zack, can we be alone? - Screech: Okay, Violet.

Not with me, she wants to be alone with you.

Samuel, after you left last night,

my parents forbid me to go out with you anymore.

It would just be too painful seeing you in Glee Club.

But, Violet, I should be the one to quit.

I only joined to be with you.

Oh, Samuel, I couldn't perform in public without you behind me.

I don't have to be standing on the bleachers to be behind you.

I'll always be behind you.

(choir sings in background)

Gee, Valley's Glee Club is pretty good.

Aw, don't worry about it, Kelly.

While we're in Hawaii, they'll still be "down by the old mill stream." For sure.

Violet: Samuel.

I just wanted to let you know that I'm here--

And I wanted to give you this.

Oh...

Violet, what are you doing with that boy?

(nervously) Mom... Dad.

What are you doing backstage?

We wanted to wish you good luck before you perform.

Young man, please excuse us.

Well sure, I didn't even hear you burp.

Violet, we're very disappointed that you chose to disobey us.

- But, Dad, he was just-- he-- - No, no.

- (applause) - Kids, line up. We're on.

We'll continue this conversation at home.

(sobs)

(whispers) Mr. Tuttle, Violet's not here.

- What? Where is she? - I bet I know. Bathroom, first stall.

Great. What do I do in the meantime?

You heard her, stall... stall.

Good evening.

We're going to begin our program with a Stephen Foster medley.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the term--

Time out!

Fortunately, I always have a backup plan.

Excuse me.

Screech, hook up this tape to the sound system.

Okay, Zack, but I'm not sure how it works.

Just do it.

(clears throat)

Time in.

- (whispers) - Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Now, we're going to sing that rousing jazz classic,

"When the Saints Go Marching In."

(tape play fast) ? When the saints go marching in ?

? Oh when the saints go marching in ?

? Oh Lord, I want to be in that number ?

? When the saints go marching in ?

? Oh Lord, I want to be in that number ?

- ? When the saints go marching in.. ? - What are you doing?

(extra slow) ? Oh when the saints ?

? Go marching in.. ?

Tuttle, what is going on?

- ? Oh when the saints.. ? - Screech?

- ? Go marching-- ? - (extremely fast singing)

Let me explain.

That was our--

That was our impression of a Glee Club tuning up.

And now, for some real singing with our featured soloist

Violet Bickerstaff.

All: ? Bom, bom ?

? Bom, bom ?

(whispers) Violet, that's your cue.

? Bom, bom ?

(wavering) ? Beautiful ?

? Dreamer ?

? Wake unto me ?

? Bom ?

? Starlight and dewdrops... ?

? Are waiting for thee ?

? Bom, bom ?

(off-key) ? Sounds of the rude world ?

? Heard in the day ?

? Bom ?

? By the moonlight ?

? Have all passed away ?

? Bom, bom ?

? Starlight and dewdrops ?

? Are waiting for thee ?

? Beautiful dreamer ?

? Awake unto ?

- ? Me ? - All: ? Bom ?

(applause, cheers)

Screech, what you did for Violet was very romantic.

Yeah, Screech. We would've been lost if it wasn't for you.

I'm just sorry things aren't going to work between you and--

Violet!

And your parents.

Young man, we saw you rescue our daughter tonight.

And we no longer object to you and Violet seeing each other.

Slater: Hey, all right.

All right, Screech.

Samuel, you're welcome at our house anytime.

- Except for dinnertime. - (all laugh)

(instrumental theme music plays)

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