Original subtitles

(bell rings)

? When I wake up in the morning and the alarm gives out a warning ?

? I don't think I'll ever make it on time ?

? By the time I grab my books and I give myself a look ?

? I'm at the corner just in time to see the bus fly by ?

? It's all right ?

? 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ?

? If the teacher pops a test I know I'm in a mess ?

? And my dog ate all my homework last night ?

? Ridin' low on my chair, she won't know that I'm there ?

? If I can hand it in tomorrow it will be all right ?

? It's all right ?

? 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the-- ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the-- ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the bell ?

I had a wonderful time, Zack. That movie really got to me.

You're the only one who cried when Ernest went to jail.

I wasn't the only one, Vern was crying, too.

Well, good night, Zack.

Kelly, I've never felt this way about a girl before, and--

Yes?

Would you go steady with me?

Wow! I don't know what to say.

Say "good night!" It's past her curfew.

Shouldn't your cute little brother be in bed?

He's just trying to protect his big sister.

I'm gonna tell Dad!

Hey, Kyle, wanna live till tomorrow?

So, what's your answer?

Going together is a big decision.

Let me sleep on it, okay? 'Night!

Kelly! No good night kiss?!

Take a hike, dork!

Screech, what are you doing?

Cramming! We've got school physicals today,

and this year I don't want to come in last.

Some people get strange when it's time to see "Nurse Butcher."

Not me, I'm in perfect health!

I eat properly, exercise daily, get the right amount of rest.

You sound like a commercial for oat bran.

What's your problem, Bubba?

Look, I don't like school physicals, okay?

Why? What's so bad about school physicals?

Well, I hate to miss class!

You don't need a physical, you need a mental.

Zack: Morning, everybody!

- Screech: 11... 12... - Zack: How are you doing, Screech?

What are you so happy about, Preppie?

Oh, nothing. Just that I expect to be going

with the most beautiful girl in school by the end of the day.

- Have you asked Kelly yet? - Yes, I did.

If your head swells any more, they're gonna have to drain it.

This is so hot! I have to spread it all over school.

Don't forget to use a shovel.

- (bell rings) - Time to jump!

Excuse me.

Could you direct me to the nurse's office?

That way!

I'll see a sign.

Thank you. You're cute.

Really cute.

You're welcome!

- Well, you can talk. - Well, ture I can shalk.

I mean, sure I can talk. Are you new here?

It's my first day. I'm Jennifer, and I'm late.

I'm Zack,

and I'm in love.

Good morning, class.

Good morning, Miss Simpson.

In my day, a class would respond

when a teacher wished them good morning.

All right, let's begin.

You were all supposed to write a poem.

Now, who would like to recite first?

I would, Miss Simpson.

Well then, since there are no volunteers,

I shall select someone.

Mr. Screech, will you honor us with your verse?

This is called: "When Morning Comes."

- "When morning comes I raise my-- - You may begin when ready.

"When morning comes I raise my head,

Shut off the alarm and get out of bed,

I brush my teeth like mother said, and always feed my spider Ted."

Thrilling, Mr. Screech.

I wanted to get my lizard Oscar in, but I couldn't find a rhyme.

The time? Oh, it's 9:30.

Now, who will be next?

Miss Turtle?

"Ode to the Mall."

"So many stores all in one place,

It brings a big smile to my face..."

Zack, let's talk after class, I have an answer for you.

"I love to hop from shop to shop,

And buy and buy until I drop."

Lovely, Miss Turtle.

I like the Rocky Mountains, too.

Good morning, students, this is your principal,

and fearless leader Mr. Belding.

(class sighs)

Thank you.

This week will be your annual physicals and flu shots.

Now to calm any fears you may have about taking these shots,

I'm going to take one myself to demonstrate to all of you

that they are totally painless.

Nurse Butcher, if you please.

(screams)

Well, personally, I like the old school cheer better.

Miss Kapowski, would you take us back to the world of poetry?

My poem is called: "That Special Someone."

"Those eyes so warm, that smile so bright,

I think about him day and night..."

"The cutest guy I'll ever see,

Oh lucky, lucky, lucky me!"

This is Mr. Belding again.

(groans)

Will, Jessie Spano, Larry Plisskin, and Zack Morris

please report to the nurse's office.

Oh, people, please.

Miss Kapowski's poem wasn't that bad.

D-E-F-P-O-T-E-C.

I'm sorry, young lady, I think you need glasses.

Glasses?!

Do you want me to look like a four-eyed frog face?

- Ribbit. - Nurse Butcher!

Report to my office immediately! My arm is throbbing.

What a wimp!

So, Jessie, how did it go?

Zack, do you think guys like girls who wear glasses?

- No way! - Well, who asked you?

Zack Morris?

- I remember you. - You're a nurse?

Yes, I'll be taking over for Nurse Butcher

when she retires next month.

I'm assisting her with the physicals.

Zack, are you feeling all right?

Suddenly, I'm very weak.

Your pulse is racing. Would you like to sit down?

Oh, no! I prefer being held.

I know, you're worried about the needles.

Don't worry, nobody likes shots.

Trust me, when this is all over with,

you are going to feel much better.

But if you don't, you stop by and see me anytime, all right?

- Really? - Sure.

How's that feel?

Wonderful! Please do it again.

I don't know why Zack's physical is taking so long?

Kelly! I know he asked you to go with him.

Is the answer yes?

Well, you can't tell Zack, but--

Oh, my! What a moment!

What a thrill!

First the Berlin Wall comes down, then the Brady Bunch comes back,

and now Zack and Kelly are going steady!

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!

Only in America! Zack!

This is the happiest moment of my life! Congratulations!

You weren't supposed to tell him.

(hisses)

Well, I guess you know the answer. It's yes.

That's great, Kel. So what was the question?

Oh, come on, it's no big deal.

One of you just write,

"Our family doctor has already given AC his flu shot.

Thanks anyway, Mrs. Loretta Slater."

Slater, that's not only lying, that's forgery.

The captain of the wrestling team afraid of a little needle?

Don't mention that word.

I can't even watch my mother knit.

Slater, I've got real problems to worry about, okay? My eyes are bad.

Yeah, well the rest of you makes up for it, Mama.

Lisa, Jessie, I need to talk to you both, now!

- Girl talk, Slater. Pardon us. - Okay, but first,

Kelly, I've always admired your handwriting.

- I was wondering if you could-- - Move it!

I love it when you treat me rough.

What's the problem, Kelly?

I don't think Zack wants to go out with me anymore.

Is it possible that he likes someone else?

Kelly, get real. He's been in love with you for years.

There's got to be another reason.

If it'll make you feel better, I'll talk to him.

Oh, that'd be great, Jessie.

But first, I need an honest answer.

How do I look in these frames?

Ridiculous. You're lucky you don't have to wear them.

- I don't think they're that bad. - Thanks, Kelly!

Hey, nice glasses, Jessie.

Oh, do you really like them?

Yeah, all my grandmother's friends wear the same kind.

Hi, Jennifer.

Hello there, Jennifer.

Yo! Jen babe.

Zack? Can I come in?

Yeah, Jessie! What are you doing here?

Look, Kelly is really upset.

You asked her to go steady, and now you're backing off. What's up?

Look, Jessie, I can't tell you.

Zack, we've been friends since the first grade.

You can trust me.

All right, do you promise not to tell any of the guys?

I promise. Tell me.

I'm in love with the new school nurse.

You pig!

How is Kelly gonna feel when you dump her

- for some flu shot floozie? - Hold on!

I didn't say I wanted to dump her.

Look, Kelly's a great girl --

in a young kind of way.

What are you going to do? Go out with her and the nurse?

That's not a bad idea.

(moans)

Have no fear, dying person.

Dr. Zachary Morris, the world famous surgeon is on his way.

(moans again) Okay, let's boogie!

Nurse Jennifer, Nurse Kelly,

- prepare me for surgery. - Yes, Dr. Morris.

Doctor, please! I hurt all over.

Anesthetic, Dr. Screech.

Right away, Dr. Morris.

Kelly's gonna be really upset when she hears about this.

But she is not gonna hear about it, because you promised not to tell.

Now, what do you think of this tie?

I think it should be tighter!

Oh, Jessie, did you see Zack this morning?

- Yes. - Well, how does he feel about me?

When I left he was all choked up.

Really? Then maybe we're going together after all!

That's wonderful, Miss Kapowski!

Two students from my class going steady.

Miss Simpson, you heard us?

Yes, I'm wearing a new hearing aid.

It's a brand new model, very sensitive.

(bell rings, screams)

Miss Simpson, I'm not feeling very well.

May I have your permission to go see the nurse?

- Yes, but you needn't shout! - Zack, I'll walk you there.

Oh no! (screams)

Oh, that's okay, Kelly.

I should go to the nurse alone. You wouldn't want to see this.

You can say that again.

Now, let us continue our study of the romantic poets,

and turn our attention to the gentle words of Percy Shelley.

- Miss Simpson! - (screams)

I've had it with this hearing aid!

- Is something wrong? - What did you say?

Never mind. Slater, report for your physical.

(class humming "Funeral March")

Very funny.

Hi there, Jennifer.

Well, hello. You look nice all dressed up!

Oh, thanks for noticing, Jen.

So, what can I do for you?

Oh boy, now there's a question.

I mean, my head is feeling hot.

Hm-mm. Feels cool to me.

Well, that's what I meant. I'm freezing.

This is a very strange reaction to a flu shot.

I wonder what's going on in that body of yours?

Whoa!

Jennifer, there's something I have to tell you.

Maybe I should take your temperature.

I left my thermometer in the other room, I'll be right back.

Relax!

Jennifer? Is that you?

(high voice) Mm-hmm.

Aren't you coming back in?

Huh-uh.

Oh, Jennifer, don't be shy.

I never believed in love at first sight,

until I saw you yesterday in the hall.

Look, this is the real thing.

Don't fight it. Just go with the flow.

(giggles)

Yes, my darling, we were meant to be together.

Be mine!

- Where's Jennifer? - Who cares? I'm yours!

Slater, how much did you hear?

Just enough to destroy you with Kelly forever.

- You wouldn't. - I would!

But I could also keep it between you, me, and the curtain,

if you do a little something for me.

How do you feel about taking another flu shot?

All right,

which one of you is AC Slater?

I am.

Bend over, Blondie.

What did you want to see me about, Zack?

Screech, would you sit down so I can talk to you?

Can't, Zack, I'm in training. Physical's today.

It's about Kelly and me.

Lovely couple! Only in America.

No, I don't want to go out with her exclusively.

Look, I wanna date other girls.

What about the wedding? I bought you a blender.

Screech, just keep the gift, I'll be okay.

But Kelly will need someone to keep her mind off me for a while.

- Now, do you know someone? - How about Slater?

Oh no, no, no. We need someone--

someone more sensitive, someone like you.

Well, there is this new kid named Melvin Nerdly.

Nerdly? I love him already.

Yeah, he is a substitute on our chess team.

- Great, what's he like? - He's not as cool as I am --

- he's kind of a geek. - That's perfect!

I'll go and talk to Melvin right now.

Hi, Screech!

(Screech cries)

All right, Zack, I thought you wanted to go steady?

What's going on?

Kelly, there's something I have to tell you.

I think we should date other people.

Date other people? What for?

I adore your innocence,

but Kelly, think of a nut on a forest floor.

It needs space if it's gonna grow into a tree,

and you and I are those nuts.

No, Zack, you're nuts.

Is there someone else you want to go out with?

Kelly, there's not another student in school that I'm interested in.

- Are you sure about this, Zack? - Just trust me. It's for the best.

Hey, Kelly.

What's wrong, Kelly?

Men! Especially Zack Morris!

Hey, don't judge us by our worst specimen.

What did Zack do to her?

I wish I could tell you.

Do you know what's going on?

No, no. I just meant I wish I did.

Jessie, you might not be the only one

who wishes they could tell what they knew.

I mean, if they really knew,

which they have to say they don't.

You mean there's someone else, say a Mr. S who knows about a Mr. Z?

Yes, but Mr. S made a promise to Mr. Z not to tell anyone.

Miss J made the same promise.

Does Miss J know about the new N

who's causing all the problems for Miss K?

Miss J knows all about it.

Well then, why don't you tell the new nurse,

what Zack did to Kelly? I'm sure she can take care of it.

Lisa, we promised not to tell.

Well, Miss L here didn't, and she's telling.

And we're watching.

I can't believe he would treat his girlfriend this way!

Well, now that I've seen you--

I mean, he's swine.

Well, just leave everything to me.

I've had plenty of experience dealing with sick people.

Thanks a lot, Jennifer.

I don't understand how I could've gotten all these wrong?

They look so clear to me.

D-E-F-P-O-T-E-C.

Jessie, you got them all right. Who told you you needed glasses?

- Nurse Butcher! - "Blind as a bat" Butcher?

She can hardly see, that's why she's retiring.

This morning, she gave a flu shot to the flag pole.

Maybe you can find someone who needs these.

Let's get "lover boy" in here,

and let him see a side of me

he's never seen before.

Oh, Jennifer. I'm back.

- You wanted to see me? - I certainly did.

It's rather warm in here, don't you think?

Aa-aah!

That's much better.

Zack, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you.

Really?

You like me, don't you, Zack?

Oh, yeah!

You're sweet.

Not like my husband.

Your husband?!

Yes, he's a professional wrestler.

Hulk Hogan says he could be the champion,

except for his violent temper.

Violent?! Temper?!

Jennifer, maybe I better be leaving now.

You're right, let's run away tonight!

Oh, no, I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to sleep over on school nights.

Let's get married and have lots of children!

- Oh, I've got a girlfriend! - She can sit for us.

Oh, no, you don't understand, one girl is all I can handle.

Zack, do you want a girl?

Or a woman?

I wanna go back to class!

Zack, what are you doing here?

What am I doing here? I came to see you.

Well, you picked an awkward time.

Zack, I'd like you to meet Melvin Nerdly.

You're Melvin Nerdly?

Just call me Mel.

You play chess?

Yeah, and football, and baseball, and hockey.

I even model a little. See you tomorrow Kelly.

It was a great idea about dating other people, Zack.

Tonight, Melvin taught me chess,

tomorrow, he's teaching me Lambada. Thanks!

Look, Kelly, I've been acting crazy recently,

but now I'm back to normal.

I want to go out with you and nobody else.

Zack, I adore your innocence,

when two nuts in the forest are dating other nuts,

they can't go steady with each other. Good night!

Wait, Kelly. Oh, come on, Kelly.

Go away, or you'll be sorry.

Hey, Kyle, just butt out!

Okay, I warned you...

(instrumental theme music plays)

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