Original subtitles

(bell rings)

? When I wake up in the morning and the alarm gives out a warning ?

? I don't think I'll ever make it on time ?

? By the time I grab my books and I give myself a look ?

? I'm at the corner just in time to see the bus fly by ?

? It's all right ?

? 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ?

? If the teacher pops a test I know I'm in a mess ?

? And my dog ate all my homework last night ?

? Ridin' low in my chair, she won't know that I'm there ?

? If I can hand it in tomorrow it will be all right ?

? It's all right ?

? 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the-- ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the-- ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the bell ?

This history class is a kid's worst nightmare.

Our teacher, Mr. Dickerson, is more horrible

than four zits on a first date.

(bell rings)

- Good morning, Mr. Dickerson. - Stop sucking up, it won't work.

Tomorrow is our history midterm.

No one has passed it in three years.

This grade is important to me, I've got to get an A.

Sir, can we at least review what's gonna be on the test?

Okay.

- Who shot Lincoln, Screech? - It wasn't me.

- John Wilkes Booth. - Where?

- Ford Theater. - Year?

- 1865. - Successor?

- President Johnson. - Which Johnson?

Magic Johnson.

Laugh now, loser. None of this is on the test.

- (cackles) - PA: Morning, class,

this is your principal, Mr. Belding.

Stop interrupting my class!

Would the class trip representatives report to my office immediately?

Thank you.

Mr. Dickerson, I don't want to miss the review,

but this class trip is the biggest deal of the school year.

- Go! - All right.

But the only trip this class will take is to summer school.

(cackles)

The highlight of the school year is taking you on the annual class trip.

Today we pick our destinations, so let's hear your ideas.

I think we should visit the Hershey Chocolate Factory.

Fat chance, Milton.

Why don't we take a cruise to Hawaii?

We don't have enough money to take the class on a cruise.

Well then, just send me.

We should do something significant. Let's picket a nuclear power plant.

Why don't you save that for your honeymoon?

- (kids arguing) - Belding: Please! Please!

This trip can be educational and fun at the same time.

Let's go to Las Vegas.

We can study the Roman Empire at Caesar's Palace.

Let's go to the Hostess Museum, I hear they have a great Ding Dong exhibit.

You're a ding-dong, Milton.

- (arguing) - Belding: Hold it. Hold it!

Hold... it!

Since we can't agree, I'll pick a place I'm sure everyone will like.

That sounds fair, Mr. Belding.

In the meantime, hit those books because if you don't pass your midterms

there'll be no class trip for any of you.

Jessie, was Archduke Francis Ferdinand assassinated at Sarajevo?

Yes, very good, Zack.

All right, and that started World War I.

I thought it was 'cause everyone was shooting at each other.

Stop fooling around, you simp.

Oh, thanks, I had a fly on my head.

Zack, I am really impressed. You really are serious about this test.

Not the test, the trip.

I heard that Dickerson flunked his own kid last year.

Come on, guys, all we have to do is study the material

and Dickerson can't stop us from going on the trip.

Zack's right.

You'll never pass my test, Zackie.

Psst...

your looks won't get you through this one, cheerleader.

? F, F, F, you're both getting an F ?

I need a break.

Yeah, let's watch "Fresh Prince."

? You think you're smart, you think you're hip ?

? Put your books away, 'cause there's no class trip ?

It's been almost five minutes since the bell rang.

- Where do you think Dickerson is? - I hope nothing happened to him.

All right, look everybody, if Dickerson's not here in 30 seconds,

I'm invoking the five-minute rule.

What's the five-minute rule?

If a teacher doesn't show up within five minutes of the bell,

- everyone is free to leave. - I've never heard of that rule.

All right, there's 10 seconds left. 10...

All: Nine, eight, seven, six--

Five-minute rule, eh, Morris?

How'd you know? I just made it up.

Class, Mr. Dickerson will not be here today.

(all cheering)

Gee, that's too bad, what happened?

Well...

he came into the teachers' lounge and gave everybody an F.

I knew he needed a rest when he sent me to detention.

Does that mean we don't have to take his midterm?

Whoa... whoa.

No.

The test will be given by our substitute teacher, Mr. Belding.

I think you're losing it, sir. You're Mr. Belding.

This is also Mr. Belding. This is my brother, Rod Belding.

Get out of here.

He's right, I'm his brother. I'll take over from here, Richie.

It's Richard, Rodney.

I can't believe it, two Beldings in one school.

Wow, a building with two Beldings, one of whom is balding.

So there won't be any confusion, call me Rod.

Whoa.

This test looks pretty hard.

I heard if you don't pass it you can't go on the class trip.

That's just an ugly rumor, sir.

I don't want to be part of any ugly rumor.

Instead of taking history, let's make some history.

Everybody pick up your test, and do what I do.

- Woo-hoo! - All: Woo-hoo!

I love this guy.

- Mr. Belding? - Please, call me Rod.

Okay, Rod.

What about our grades on the midterm? I have to get an A.

Okay, you got an A.

I'll have an A also, Rod.

You're gonna give us whatever grade we want?

No, I'm giving you whatever grade you think you deserve.

Then I'll take an A.

I thought the first time I kissed Zack was the happiest moment of my life.

- Kelly. - Oop--

Put me down for an A+, Rod, honey.

Okay, Rod,

is this on the level here? Are you for real?

I believe teacher-student relationships should be based on trust.

Now, what do you deserve?

Trust me, sir, definitely an A.

Mr. Rod, sir, I have a real problem.

My heart says A, but my head says C+.

And my lips say you're brain dead if you take the C+.

What's it gonna be, son?

Okay, I'll go for it, B-.

...So I said to the head of the airline,

"Now make somebody else a vice-president,

I need my summers off to follow my dreams."

Being a substitute teacher is perfect,

I get the same vacation you guys do and none of the homework.

- How's it going in here? - Radical, Richie dude.

Mr. Belding, your brother is the best teacher I've ever had.

- All: Yes. - Yeah, you're nothing alike.

It's hard to believe you're even brothers.

What he's trying to say, sir, is that you're both so...

so... so different.

Yeah, he's got so much more hair than you do, sir.

Oh, but you have a much bigger forehead.

Thank you for bringing that to my attention.

Now for the big news.

I have decided where we're going for our trip.

- Zack: Really? Where, sir? - Ready for this?

We're going to camp out under the stars

at Yosemite National Park.

- All: All right. - Yosemite, that could be good.

I like it, Mr. Belding.

- You guys are really brave. - What do you mean?

You're letting my brother lead you into the woods.

When he was 12 we camped out on the front lawn, he got lost.

- Yes, there it goes. - Home run!

All right, yes. Great game, guys.

- You guys having a good time? - Yeah, but what if Mr. Belding

catches us in here watching the Dodger game?

You're right, he'll be mad, he's a Giants fan.

Stop worrying, he's at a school board meeting.

Rod, you're the best. You're not like a teacher at all.

You're like one of the guys.

Check this out.

Uh-hmm. Will the prettiest girls in school

please report to the principals' office

immediately for some chips and dip?

Come on, Zack, cut it out.

I'm just playing principal. I didn't press the button.

Oh... now it's my turn.

I do a great Belding.

- Zack, sit down. - Okay.

I think it's time we had a man-to-man,

guy-to-guy talk.

Remember the last three letters of principal spell "pal."

Now--

Screech, you all right?

Yeah-- whoa.

Oh, just kidding.

You really do remind me of my brother.

- You guys excited about the class trip? - Oh, man, I can't wait.

Imagine, sitting under the stars

cuddling with Kelly around a campfire.

- (sighs) - I don't need a girl to keep warm.

Mom's packing three pairs of long johns...

with a lock on the trapdoor to keep the bears out.

I'll never forget our class trip, it was the greatest ever.

- We went white-water rafting. - Really?

- I've always wanted to do that. - There's nothing like it.

Shooting the rapids, taking risks, you're pushing yourself to the limit.

I know exactly what you mean.

I felt that way the first time I rode the teacups at Disneyland.

I'd give anything to go white-water rafting.

I don't blame you, Zack. You gotta grab life.

What are you gonna do at Yosemite? Walk around trees and chase squirrels.

Rod, Belding would never take us rafting.

That Belding wouldn't, but this Belding would.

- White-water rafting? - Yeah.

It'll be a trip we'll never forget, Jessie.

I've done it, Mama, it's the greatest thrill you've ever had.

Well, except for dating me, of course.

Oh, please. Should I throw up now, or save it for the raft?

I'm gonna save it for the raft.

I've heard it's really exciting, like a spike in volleyball.

I'm gonna do nothing but kick back and look at beautiful scenery.

If you want beautiful scenery, baby, wait till you see me in a wet T-shirt.

If it means you're drowning, count me in.

- Come on, guys, let's go for it. - Wait a minute, wait a minute.

We all agreed to go camping with Mr. Belding.

Then let's ask him if we can go rafting instead.

- (knocking on door) - Come in.

Mr. Belding, we'd like to talk to you about the class trip.

Absolutely. It's gonna be great spending time with you guys.

Look, I've already got the first two days planned.

- Well, you see-- - Wait till you hear this--

we get up at dawn for the sunrise and we hike to Yosemite Falls

and we watch the deer come down and drink.

- Huh? - That's so sweet.

- I think I'm gonna cry. - Stop it.

Then we go on a wildflower walk in the middle of the valley

and have lunch-- oh, you are gonna love this,

- in the Indian caves. - But, Mr. Belding,

- Is something wrong, Slater? - Well no, it--

it all sounds great, sir.

What Slater's trying to say is that Yosemite seems beautiful

and peaceful and-- Zack?

Actually, Mr. Belding,

I don't exactly know how to say this-- it's easy, tell him, Screech.

We don't wanna go on your boring nature trip, we wanna go white-water rafting.

Rafting? Is this true? Do you all feel this way?

You see, Mr. B, we only have one big class trip

and we all want to do something more challenging.

I understand that, but I don't know anything about rafting.

- It can be dangerous. - Don't worry about it, sir.

Your brother is an expert and offered to take us.

Oh, I see.

What you're saying is that all of you would like to go with him.

Mr. Belding, it's a great chance to really find out what we're made of.

Of course I want you to have the best trip ever,

and if you all feel this way...

- yeah, sure. - All: All right.

- Screech: All right, Mr. Belding. - Slater: Thanks, Mr. B.

Let's pretend this is the real thing.

We're heading for white water.

Everybody hold on.

All: Whoa!

Hey, Kelly.

Look at the mountains and the trees.

- Oh, there's a deer drinking water. - Where? Where?

It's pretend.

If it's pretend, why am I getting seasick? (groans)

Because when you were little, your daddy bounced you on his knee

and the ceiling was low.

- Okay, everybody hold on. - (group gasping)

(whimpers)

Lisa, I can't swim.

- Okay, here comes the big one. - (girls screaming)

- Rod: Okay, okay. - Slater: Whoa.

This is a good time to demonstrate lifesaving skills.

- Any volunteers? - Sir, I'm an expert on mouth-to-mouth.

Right, Mama?

Don't flatter yourself.

You're just okay.

That's not what you said Saturday night.

Okay. You two ladies lie on the floor.

Rod: Guys, kneel next to the victim.

Okay.

Zack, put your hand under Kelly's neck.

- Like this? - Good, and elevate her chin.

- Good. You too, Slater. - Okay.

Now take a breath -- go for it.

Both: All right!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. What is going on here?

I'm drowning and nobody cares!

I hope there's a good explanation for this.

- There is, Richie-- - Richard.

- The boys were demonstrating CPR. - Yeah.

Looks like they were making out to me.

Besides, you're supposed to be in history class.

Stop being so uptight.

We're just using some class time to prepare for this Friday's trip.

Take your class to the room.

- (everyone groans) - Come on, everybody.

Mr. Belding, don't be mad at Rod, he's a great teacher.

- Rod? - Yeah.

No other teacher ever cared so much about us.

Maybe he should care more about teaching

and less about being popular.

Maybe you're jealous of your own brother.

Tonight we head for the Colorado River.

I finally found a subject I love -- leaving school.

Don't worry, Jessie, if you fall overboard, I'll rescue you.

Someone should rescue you from your macho fantasies.

You know, Kelly, this is gonna be the best week of our lives.

- No studying, no homework. - Zack, that is your life.

No, I mean one week away from everything

except my favorite person in the world.

- I'm not gonna drown this time. - (squeaks)

Hey, everybody, the buses are here.

- All right, yeah. - But where's Rod?

I'll go look for him.

Belding: I cannot believe you're doing this.

The class trip leaves in five minutes.

- These kids are depending on you. - Come on, Richie, they'll get over it.

They look up to you.

What is so important that you would disappoint 30 kids?

Richie, if you met this stewardess, you'd know.

You're doing this to spend time with some stewardess?

It's not just some stewardess, this is Inga.

And she's only in town for the weekend.

I knew. I knew it was a mistake to let you come to my school.

You promised me you had changed, but no, you are the same Rod.

You get people's hopes up and then you let them down.

Richie, she's gorgeous. You should see her, she's a 10.

Is that what you're gonna tell the kids?

That you dumped them for some weekend fling?

Of course not. Tell them I'm sick.

Tell them anything, cover for me.

I'm tired of covering for you.

Come on, Richie, don't be mad, we're brothers.

Get out of my school, Rod.

Zack, are you all right?

- I'm not feeling so good, Kelly. - What's wrong?

Excuse me, could I have your attention please?

Would everyone gather around? I have an announcement to make.

Unfortunately, my brother Rod cannot take you on the class trip.

All: What?

- He can't go? - Why not?

Well, he's--

he has the flu.

He is very, very sorry to disappoint all of you.

Great, I guess we won't be going anywhere now.

- Yeah, let's go home, guys. - (murmuring)

See you later, Mr. B.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hold it, hold it, wait a minute.

I may not be a great rafting expert like Rod,

or even as cool a guy,

but I'd like to try and take his place.

You mean, you want to take us?

Yeah, if you don't mind a leader who can't swim too well.

- Let's go rafting, Mr. B. - All: Yeah!

We'll have a great time, Mr. Belding.

- Thank you. - Sure.

I'll see you on the bus.

Mr. Belding?

Why didn't you tell them the truth?

- What do you mean? - About the stewardess?

- I heard everything. - Oh, you did?

Everything.

I'm sorry you had to hear that.

I know how much Rod meant to you and I didn't want to ruin that.

Sir, I acted like a jerk.

I'm sorry for the things I said to you.

I understand, Zack.

Rod always was the more exciting Belding.

Maybe. But we got the better Belding.

(instrumental theme music playing)

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