Original subtitles

(bell rings)

? When I wake up in the morning and the alarm gives out a warning ?

? I don't think I'll ever make it on time ?

? By the time I grab my books and I give myself a look ?

? I'm at the corner just in time to see the bus fly by ?

? It's all right ?

? 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ?

? If the teacher pops a test I know I'm in a mess ?

? And my dog ate all my homework last night ?

? Ridin' low on my chair, she won't know that I'm there ?

? If I can hand it in tomorrow it will be all right ?

? It's all right ?

? 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the-- ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the-- ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the bell ?

- (knocking) - Come in.

What are you guys doing here?

Kelly, we can't wait any longer. We've come for your answer.

That's right. Next week is the prom

and you've got to choose between us.

Oh, come on. I like you both.

I don't want to hurt either one of you.

Hey, if you want to hurt Slater, it's okay.

Hey, why would she want to go with a boy

when she can go with a gladiator?

Guys, this is hard.

It's like choosing between two great pieces of chocolate.

Sorry, Kelly, from now on,

you only get zits from one of us.

Okay, if I must.

Both: You must!

I want my mommy.

Hey, she can go with Zack.

Listen, I'll give you my answer in the morning, okay?

All right then.

Kelly...

This is Geraldo Screech.

(applause)

Today's topic is, "Women Who Love Two Men."

It's trashy, tacky, tasteless... it's Geraldo.

(applause)

Kelly cannot choose a date for the prom.

So what has this two-timer put her men through?

- A hunk-off, Geraldo Screech. - A hunk-off indeed.

- What do your friends think? - I think it's romantic.

I think it's reverse macho-pigism, and I don't like it.

Then I don't like you.

Zack and Slater are dead even. And what's the final event, Kelly?

- Evening wear. - Disgusting. I love it.

(soft music plays)

(applause)

Kelly, it's time to choose one of these bimbos.

So how does it feel to be a loser, Zack?

Well, I'm not a loser, Geraldo Screech.

I'll always love Kelly.

I just want her to be happy.

Don't forget tomorrow: "Blond Boys Who Never Date Again."

This is Geraldo Screech. Good night.

You've actually decided who you want to take to the prom?

- Yes. - Both: Who?

Guys, hi, uh...

Any girl would be lucky to go to the prom with either one of you.

Slater, you're everything a girl could want.

You're great looking, a great dancer, a great guy.

Great.

But, I'm sorry. I'm going with Zack.

Ohh! Why?!

What does Zack have that I don't have?

Zack, hold it together. You are Zack.

Wait, I am Zack!

She's-- she-- you're going--

She's going with Zack! Ohh, she's--

She's going with Zack!

(laughs) Oh, thank you!

All right, all right. You won, Preppie.

You just better treat her good.

Now that Kelly's picked Zack,

it's time to snatch me up before I'm taken.

Will you go to the prom with me?

- Yeah, I'll go. - You will?!

I'll go when with you when worms have ears.

You're weakening.

Do you know what's in that box?

Just a bunch of worms with ears.

Screech cut out a bunch of little paper ears

and pasted them on these worms.

Now you can go to the prom with him.

I am not going to the prom with him.

- Why not? - Yeah, why not?

That's why not. Because he is always there.

He's been hunting me ever since nursery school.

Just go to the movies with me Friday night,

and if you don't have a good time, no prom,

and I'll be out of your life forever.

What do you have to lose?

Okay. One date, then you're history.

All right!

You may keep the worms, my darling.

Lisa, I cannot wait to pick out my dress. It's my first formal.

Maybe something in yellow to match Zack's hair.

- (knocking) - Come in.

Gotta go. We'll go shopping right after school, okay? Bye.

- Hi, Daddy. - Hi, honey.

Mom told me that you're really excited about the prom.

Yeah, we're going to go buy my dress tomorrow.

I remember when I took your mom to the prom.

My feet never touched the floor.

You were that much in love?

Well, actually I was a terrible dancer.

My feet were on top of your mother's feet all night.

We had a ball. I hope you do, too.

Thanks.

Kelly, um... why don't you sit down, honey?

There's something I have to tell you.

Is something wrong?

Well, yeah, I'm afraid so.

World peace broke out.

- That's good isn't it? - For the world, yes.

But not if you work in a defense plant.

I lost my job today.

- Oh, Daddy, that's terrible. - No, no, no.

Everything's gonna be all right.

I'm telling you first because I know you'll help

keep everybody else's spirits up

while I'm trying to find another job.

- Daddy? - Yeah?

I want to help.

I want you to take this money.

Kelly, I gave you that money last week for the prom.

I'm not going to the prom.

There are seven other people in this house besides me.

Family comes first.

Honey, this is not why I came up here.

I know that.

But you've got to let me do this. I'll go to the prom next year.

Unless peace really gets out of hand.

Kelly, I can't let you do that, honey.

Why not? You do it all the time.

Remember when you saved up all your money for your golf clubs

and I needed braces?

Yeah.

My smile is better than your golf score.

You needed them.

And you need this.

You're sure you're all right about this?

Positive. Have I ever lied to you, Daddy?

Never.

(crying)

It's the first time I ever lied to my father.

Okay, now we have exactly 214 minutes

to shop at the Palisades Mall before dinner.

Here's our route.

You have a map of the mall?

I have a map of every mall from here to Tijuana.

Lisa, I can't go to the mall with you.

Why?

I'm not going to the prom.

Oh no. Don't tell me Slater killed Zack?

No. My dad lost his job and we need the money.

- I'm sorry, Kelly. - Have you told Zack?

Not yet. But I'm sure he'll understand.

Hi, girl of my dreams.

I already rented my tux and guess what?

- Zack, I have to talk to-- - No, in a second, in a second.

Wait till you hear the best part. Me and a couple of guys,

we chipped in, we got us a big stretch limo with a CD, TV...

and M.E. Thanks to you, this is gonna be the best night of my life.

- Zack... - What? Anything.

I... uh...

- can't wait to see you in your tux. - All right!

Hi, guys.

All right, settle down, settle down. Now next weekend

is our annual Bayside Prom, and I want it to be our best ever.

That's why I've called a meeting of all Prom Chairmen.

Don't you mean chairpersons?

Hey, the chair-chick has a point.

Zack, I know that you and Lisa are in charge of decorations,

but this year's theme is not going to be

"Zack and Kelly's Prom."

Don't you love it, sir? It sings. Look at that Zack.

Didn't she tell him yet?

No, she doesn't want to break his heart.

Mr. Belding, would you please

tell the chair-babes to be quiet?

Will the chair-pig please mind his own business?

Ooh! Yeah!

Babes, pigs, please, come to order. Morris.

Now, Slater, Jessie, what do you have for music?

He wants lambada.

She wants protest music.

I'm sure there's a compromise somewhere,

between "Dirty Dancing," and "The Best of Nelson Mandela."

(laughs) Ahem.

All right, now who's in charge of food?

- I am, sir. - Who else would be?

Stop with the fat jokes or I'll sit on you.

Ooh, this is getting heavy.

Hey, will you two cut it out?

Now what kind of food is your committee serving, Alan?

Chocolate fudge cake, strawberry shortcake,

hot fudge sundaes with whipped--

Man, you're gonna have to grease the doorway to get home, Alan.

Belding: Alan, Alan...

I love cake, but don't you think that's all just a little bit rich?

Right. That's why we're not having any dessert.

What are you chairperson of, Robert?

Nothing. I just came to tell you

that the chemistry lab's on fire.

Got any marshmallows, dude?

Code Red! Code Red!

I can't believe you like these tapes.

Hey what's wrong with Paula Abdul and Janet Jackson?

Their music doesn't say anything.

Did you ever see them move? They're saying plenty, baby.

Don't call me baby, bubba.

Are you guys still fighting?

That's what we do best.

Lisa, is there anything we can do for you?

Well, yeah. You can change your name to Lisa

and go to the movies with Screech tonight.

What movie are you going to?

"Zombies in Love." Guess who picked it?

Hey, let's try this one.

- (dance music plays) - All right, now come on, mama.

Let's see if we can move meaningfully.

Hey, I like this.

Hey, you move pretty good.

Thanks. You're okay, too.

You know we haven't fought for 15 seconds.

It was 20. Shut up.

Hey, uh... do you have a date for the prom?

Uh... no, not yet. How about you?

Not exactly. You know, I'm still narrowing it down.

You think that, uh... I don't know,

perhaps... you would, uh...

Slater, are you asking me to go to the prom with you?

Maybe. You interested?

Maybe.

Maybe... pick you up at 7:00?

No. I'll pick you up at 7:00.

Gee, Lisa, I can't believe we're finally on a date together.

Are you having a good time?

"Are you having a good time?"

"Are you having a good time?"

"Are you having a good time?"

- "Are you having a good time?" - Yes!

All: Yes!

You want me to go get you some popcorn, my love?

Yes, please go.

(thunder clap)

(woman screams)

Lisa, why don't you sit next to him and give the date a chance?

Why don't you tell Zack about the prom?

- What? - Nothing. Have some more popcorn.

- Guess who? - (screams)

All: Shh!

I got the wide container so both our hands can fit in at once.

Um, Screech, would you go get me some chocolate malt balls?

I knew you'd want them.

You know, popcorn really makes me thirsty.

- Do you think you could get me-- - Cola?

Or uncola?

Uncola, please.

Hey, no arm, no soda.

When do the zombies fall in love?

Shh. You'll see.

Is that the zombie?

No, that's his mother-in-law, his "mombie."

Where's Matt Dillon?

He's not in this movie. Just watch.

Look, there's the zombie.

- Shh! - What?

All: Quiet!

He's cute for a dead guy.

That's a female zombie.

Can't you see she's wearing high heels?

You're into fashion.

Are you sure Matt Dillon's not in this movie?

Yes, Alan Thicke is the zombie. Everybody knows that.

What a great movie, Screech.

Screech? Where are you?

I missed most of the movie 'cause of motor-mouth down there.

Next time go to the movies with Matt Dillon.

This has been the worst date of my life.

Forget the prom!

Wait-- wait a minute. You're not supposed to dump me.

I'm supposed to dump you.

You know, Slater,

tonight's turning out to be okay.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I can't wait for the prom.

Why don't you guys come with us in our limo?

- It'll be fun, huh, Kelly? - All right. Sure.

I don't think that's such a great idea, Zack.

Why not?

Because, um...

I can't go to the prom with you.

Hey, hey, why don't you pick on a locker your own size?

Very funny, Slater. Why don't you mind your own business?

Oh, please don't hurt me, "blond Hulk."

(groans)

Aw, did little Preppie hurt himself?

Let Uncle Slater kiss it better.

Look, I'm bummed out, all right?

- Kelly dumped me. - Is that what you think?

Yeah. Every time I call her,

her mother says she's washing her hair.

Who washes their hair six times a day?

- You do. - Besides me.

- I don't believe her. - Well, you shouldn't,

because it's not true.

What do you mean?

Look, Jessie told me that Kelly's father lost his job

and she can't afford to go to the prom.

I had no idea.

Poor Kelly.

You got it, Preppie. Poor Kelly. Not poor Zackie.

(knocking)

Can I come in?

Sure.

Kelly, I know how much you really wanted to go to the prom tonight.

It's okay.

You lied to me, honey.

Yeah.

I know what you gave up for the family.

And I want you to know that I am very proud of you.

I think I'm going to cry.

Why don't you wait on that?

There's somebody here to see you.

Zack, what are you doing here?

Well, I was just hanging around outside your room,

and I thought I'd drop in and say, "Hi."

I, uh...

gotta go wash my hair.

Because of you there's a drought in California.

I just found out about your dad.

Why didn't you tell me?

I don't know. You were so excited about the prom,

and I guess I was a little embarrassed.

I owe you an apology.

No, you don't have to apologize for anything.

Why aren't you at the prom?

Oh is that tonight?

Gosh, I must have forgotten.

There must have been 100 girls who would love to go with you.

Mmm, actually 106.

Just kidding.

I'm sorry I ruined your night.

It would be ruined if I went with someone else.

I think I'm going to cry.

Your father warned me about that so, uh...

why don't we go for a walk instead?

I'd like that. Where are we going?

It's a surprise.

(dance music playing)

Great prom, huh, Alan?

Yeah, the cake's delicious.

- Have you been dancing? - No, I've been icing.

- Want some? - Maybe I'll have a lick later.

All right, Nardino. We have rules around here.

You and Mancuso show me some air.

Hey, hey, hey! Separate or I'll get the hose!

Then this zombie that looked like Matt Dillon

gave a dead rose to the female zombie.

And then, the male zombie didn't like that at all,

so do you know what he did?

Probably got earplugs.

Now you know why I dumped the babe.

(clapping rhythm)

(cheers)

Zack, what are we doing here?

Told you I had a surprise.

What is all this?

- It's a prom picnic. - You're crazy.

Only about you.

There we go.

Zack, this is so nice.

Yep, and now we have everything they have in there.

Even two pieces of cake I wrestled away from Alan.

Sorry there's no icing.

Zack, I don't know how to thank you.

Don't. Just close your eyes.

Give me your hand.

A corsage. It's beautiful.

- I think I'm going to cry. - No, please don't.

You might put out the candle.

Hey, Alan, old buddy, how about some cake, huh?

No. There are only five pieces left and I want to take them home.

Come on, Alan.

Here, have some peanuts.

Alan, Alan, look!

- There's Sara Lee! - Where?

Okay, guys and gals, lovers and lovees.

This is the last dance. Make it magic

while the Screechman takes you home.

Ladies, your choice.

(soft music plays)

Zack, will you dance with me?

Sure.

Zack, I don't know how to thank you for tonight.

We're together. That's enough.

(instrumental theme music plays)

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