All language subtitles for Saved by the Bell s01e13 The Election.eng

* When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning *

* I don't think I'll ever
make it on time *

* By the time I grab my books
and give myself a look *

* I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by *

* It's all right *

* 'Cause I'm saved by the bell *

* If the teacher pops a test,
I know I'm in a mess *

* And the dog ate
all my homework last night *

* Ridin' low on my chair,
she won't know that I'm there *

* If I can hand it in tomorrow
it'll be all right *

* It's all right *

* 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... *

* It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the... *

* It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the... *

* It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell. *

As you can see, school elections
are being held this week.

My best friend Jessie Spano is
running for student body president.

As for me, I only run for buses,
blondes and brunettes.

Hey Jessie, being president
is a waste of time.

It's like being
a lifeguard for a birdbath.

No, it isn't.
It's an important job.

I care about
the student body.

I care about
a student body, too...

hers.

And that's one campaign
you're never going to win.

This is important to me.

My mother got involved in the '60s
and she made such a difference.

I want to make
a contribution too.

So give your
old jeans to Goodwill.

Jessie, how long have
we been friends?

Ever since toddler group,
when you forgot your teddy bear

and borrowed my blankie.

Keep Teddy out of this.

The point I'm trying to make is
that student government is a joke.

I mean,
look at the geeks who run.

- Oh, thanks, Zack.
- Except for you.

What I'm trying to say is, nothing
ever gets changed around here.

Zack, if you don't
like the way things are,

why don't you put your money
where your mouth is and run?

Me, run?

That's like asking Roseanne Barr
to skip a meal.

Well, well, as Faculty
Election Advisor,

I'd like to welcome you
to the fray, Miss Spano.

Thank you,
Mr. Dewey.

Are you joining us
in class, Mr. Morris?

I'll be there in a minute,
Mr. Dewey.

I just have to go to my locker
to get my tape recorder.

I'd hate to miss
a single X or Y.

You make light of algebra now,
but when you're all grown up

and your friends are making
logarithm jokes at parties,

you won't have a clue as to
what everybody's laughing at.

Mr. Dewey, good news.

The grant from the Student
Government Foundation came through.

Hot dog.

Imagine a free trip
to Washington DC.

For the winner of the student body
election, the faculty advisor,

and most importantly
the school principal.

I can't wait.

I'll never forget the last time
Mrs. B and I went to Washington.

We got arrested
for skinny-dipping in the Potomac.

That's a Kodak moment.

We want this trip to be a surprise
for the lucky student who wins.

Then let's go to Washington
without him.

A free trip to Washington?
No school for a week?

I think it's time to get involved
and give something back.

But I'm still keeping
Jessie's blankie.

The filing deadline
for the school election is today

and we have only
one name for president.

Jessie Spano.

Why don't you
run too, Lisa?

I wouldn't run against Jessie.
She's my friend.

Besides, I couldn't give
up Saturdays.

That's when I get my
facial and body wrap.

How about you,
Slater?

Oh, I can't, sir.
I'm her body wrapper.

Now is not the time to go
to the bathroom. Sit tight.

I want to run, sir.

- You?
- Zack?

- Morris?
- He's good for America!

- Zack, are you serious?
- Well, yes.

I'm inspired by the words
of the Beach Boys,

"Be True
to Your School. "

Your patriotism is giving me
"good, good, good vibrations. "

Okay, Zack.
What is going on?

Maybe you're right. Maybe it's time
for me to be a good American.

If you were a good American you'd
have left the country years ago.

Jessie, I'm running
and you can't stop me, okay?

Okay, Zack.
Go ahead and run.

But I'm warning you,
I'm going to kick your butt.

Mr. Morris, would you
care to rebut?

I'll wipe her out.

That's the spirit.
Let the campaign begin!

And if I'm elected
student body president,

I promise to uphold
our school constitution,

and I promise to promote
a healthier,

more productive environment
by removing

all products
with artificial ingredients

from school vending machines.
Thank you.

Woo!

Regarding our
school constitution...

who cares?

And as for artificial ingredients,
I think they've gotten a bum rap.

Do you want to live a life without
pizza, nachos, or hot dogs?

- No!
- Never!

Ladies and gentlemen,
the candidates:

Jessie Spano
and Zack Morris.

- Nice speech, Jessie.
- Thanks, Max.

I hope I can count
on your support.

Thanks, Max.

Max, whose
side are you on?

All right!

You can count on me
as your right-hand man.

Thanks a lot.

Hey Jessie, can I be
your campaign manager?

You? Lisa, we don't
have much in common.

I know you think I'm about
as deep as a Frisbee.

But, Jessie, there's a lot more
than you realize

underneath this
adorable exterior.

Gee, I don't know.

Courtney? Chelsea?
Will you vote for Jessie?

Like, sure.

Like, totally,
if you want us to.

Forget Federal Express.
I can deliver.

Looks like I've got
a new campaign manager.

Kelly, you want to sign up
to work for me?

- Put me down as a maybe.
- Maybe? What does that mean?

I can't make up my mind
between you and Zack

without getting all the information
and listening to all the speeches.

It wouldn't be fair.

Fair?! What does fair have to do
with it?! We are women!

We go to the bathroom
together!

We vote together.

- I can't believe this is you.
- Who cares who it is?

Just vote for me. Come on I voted
for you for cheerleader, didn't I?

That's different.
I'm one piece of a pyramid.

You're going to run the whole
school. It's a big decision.

Oh, women!

Soon, I'll be president
and on my way to Washington.

I hate to break it to you,
but George Bush beat you to it.

Screech, read my lips...

The president of the student body
gets a free trip to Washington.

It's a secret.
You tell anyone, you get this.

Hey, careful!

My doctor says my skull
hasn't fully hardened yet.

Do me a favor and go to your
mom's travel agency,

and get me some brochures.

Okay. And Zack,

don't worry. I won't tell
my mom what city they're for.

Hey, Slater!
My main man!

Forget it.
I'm voting for Jessie.

Come on, Slater. We're men.
We go to the bathroom together.

We vote together.

What would the world be like
if a woman ran it?

Less violent
and color-coordinated?

Either you're with me
or you're not.

You know, you're right.
I'm not.

Hey Jessie. You think
Zack's up to something?

He's awake, isn't he?

Sorry, Screech, I didn't see you,
man. You all right?

I hope I didn't hurt you.

"Washington After Dark:

Sipping Ale with the Quayles"?

What's all this for?

My name is
Screech Powers.

My address is
88 Edgemont Road.

I'd rather die than talk.

Talk about what?

I'm on a secret
political mission,

and Zack would kill me
if I told you these were for him.

Wait a minute.
These are for Zack?

How did you know?
Who squealed?

Why does Zack want travel
brochures for Washington?

I can't say.

Now I can.
It just came to me.

Zack somehow found out
the winner of the election

goes on a trip to Washington.
Let me down.

So that's what
he's up to.

You aren't going to ruin
Zack's fun are you?

Screech, the fun
is about to begin.

Mirror, mirror,
on the wall,

who's the buffest
principal of all?

You are,
you stud muffin, you.

Slater, I was, uh,
rapping with the mirror.

I see you're
working out.

Always, Slater. Just thought
I'd pump a little iron.

My body didn't get like
this overnight, you know.

Oh, I'm sure
it took days, sir.

It kind of gives you something
to shoot for, doesn't it, son?

Sure does.

I just wanted to say, I hope you
have a great time in Washington.

- Thank you.
- See ya.

Whoa, whoa,
wait a second.

How did you know I was
going to Washington?

Well, Zack told me.

I guess he's just lucky
that the year he ran

is the year there's
a free trip.

So that's why
he's running.

Mr. Belding,

are you saying Zack would run
just to get out of school

and miss homework

so he could
party his brains out?

Slater, sweet,
innocent man-child.

Zack Morris is like
a vacuum cleaner.

He'll suck you in
if he can.

But I've got
a plan of my own,

and I'm going
to pull his plug right now.

Nice legs!

Just as soon
as I get dressed.

Mr. Dewey?

- Present.
- Mr. Dewey, class is almost over.

Don't be sad,
we'll meet again tomorrow.

No, I mean,
you know...

Oh, I forgot.

Zack would like to show
a campaign video he has prepared.

Does anyone have
any objections?

I object on behalf of the next
president of the student body,

Jessica Myrtle Spano.

All: Myrtle?

Myrtle's the name
of my turtle.

We demand equal time.

You can tell us the name
of your turtle later.

Man: America is
Zack Morris country.

- Oh, please!
- Shh!

From the very
beginning,

Zack showed he had
much in common

with the great leaders
of yesterday.

Zack was
born a baby,

just like Washington, Jefferson,
and Lincoln were.

As he grew up,
he got taller,

exactly as those great leaders
had centuries before.

Incredible, but true.

And there's more,
much more.

Zack Morris
is a man's man,

and a ladies' man,

a pal to the powerful

and kind
to the cuddly.

Oh-h!

Yet he always has time
for the downtrodden,

the poor unfortunates who
have been cast out by society.

For all he has done,

Zack Morris has been
recognized

as a leader
among leaders.

Thank you. But please, let's keep
the fainting to a minimum.

I want to be your president.
Remember my motto,

"Wherever there's trouble,
that's where I'll be. "

Zack Morris.
Why the heck not?

Oh, come on.
Give us a break.

This is outrageous. He's making
a "mocracy" of "demockery. "

Does anyone wish
to comment on this video?

At first I was undecided,
but now after watching this video

full of blatant propaganda, I am
now leaning toward Jessica Myrtle.

Could you just please
lean to my first name?

Zack, I know
you found out

about the Washington trip
and that's why you're running.

- That's a nasty charge, sir.
- Maybe it is,

but the only way you can
prove that it isn't true,

is by staying
in the race

now that the Washington trip's
been canceled.

Canceled?

Oh yeah, funding fell through.
But we'll have loads of laughs

at those after-school
and weekend meetings.

We're going
to be buddies.

Hey Zack! The latest poll
has you 70%, Jessie 30.

You can't lose!

Way to go, Zack.

Or should I say,
President Morris?

I don't want to win,
but I'm afraid I can't lose.

One thing's for sure...
I can't quit.

But wait, there is someone who
can beat me in this election.

Who? Zack "moi. "

Jessie, as your campaign
manager and your friend,

you have got
to listen to me.

I am going to tell you
this as gently as I can.

You're going
down the toilet.

Am I really losing, Kelly?

You are flush city.

Zack's got the nerds,
the geeks,

the jocks
and the party animals.

That's what I call
a Rainbow Coalition.

You can count on
the Chess Club, the Latin Club

and the Future
Orthodontists of America.

This is terrible.
What am I going to do?

- You've got to change your image.
- Yeah, you've got to lighten up.

You know, be cool.
Appeal to more of the people.

He's right. If you don't change
your image by tomorrow's debate

you're going to go down in history
with George McGovern,

Walter Mondale
and the Cleveland Indians.

All right, I'm desperate.

We've got 12 hours
to turn my campaign around.

I will do anything.

Mr. Dewey: Welcome to our
presidential debate.

Since Miss Spano is late

it would not be a good idea
to start with her.

Mr. Morris,
you may go first.

Thank you,
Mr. Dewey.

I love this school.
I love it so much

I propose extending
the school day to 12 hours

and doing away
with holidays and weekends.

And I want to keep the library
open 'round the clock,

because I intend to ask
the teachers to double...

no make that triple the amount
of homework

we receive in each course.

And furthermore,
I propose that we...

Hit it girl!

Now chill out,
okay?

Like, I don't know what he
said and, like, I don't care.

I just want to know, you know,
are you guys in favor

of MTV during study hall?

All: Yeah!

Then, like, if I'm elected, we're
not gonna study, we're gonna party!

Vote for me, okay?
'Cause then we'll take, like,

totally rad
field trips to the mall.

And when
I'm elected, like,

there will be hall passes
on demand, for sure.

For sure!

And now,
the awesome one,

detention will be for teachers
instead of students.

Jessie! Jessie!

Zack, you've got big trouble.
According to my latest poll,

your lead's down
to a couple of votes!

- Great!
- Not great.

Look at these demographics.
You're still okay with the geeks,

the party's over
with the party animals,

you've still got the nerds
with glasses,

but the nerds without glasses
can't see you at all.

And you're losing
your jock support.

Screech, the trip to Washington
has been canceled.

I want to lose.
You going to help me?

Yeah, Zack,
but it hurts.

I was kind of hoping you'd
appoint me First Dweeb.

Screech, you'll
always be First Dweeb.

I just got eight guys to switch
their votes to Jessie.

How'd you do that?

I promised to go to the movies
with them.

How are you going
to the movies with eight guys?

It's easy... four on each side.
Besides, they're cute.

I love politics.

That was some stunt you pulled
during the debate. I'm impressed.

I'm not. I never thought
I'd stoop so low to win.

Screech says
the election's real close.

May come down
to whose staff works harder.

Here's a quarter.
Vote for Jessie.

Here's some quarters.
Vote for Jessie.

Zack takes ballet lessons.
Pass it on.

I knew Zack
was pro-nerd.

I hope you weren't hurt by that
smear campaign against you.

How'd you
know about that?

There were rumors flying
all around about you.

You're not really
Belding's son are you?

Is that what they're
saying about me?

Good.

Hey, you guys,
you both did great. Good luck.

- Thank you, Kelly.
- I wanted to vote for both of you,

- but I couldn't.
- So who did you vote for?

I didn't think it was fair
the way they were slandering Zack.

I know you're not going
to like this, Jessie,

- but I voted for him.
- You voted for Zack?

How could you
do that to me?

How could you
do that to me? I mean...

How could you
do that to her?

- I'm only one vote.
- I don't believe this!

Me neither.

For student body president,

these people got the following
write-in votes:

Jason Bateman, nine;

ALF, seven;

Gilligan, six;

* And the Skipper, two. *

Now for our
two main candidates.

The tension mounts.
Oh, what a feeling.

Jessie Spano,

342 votes.

Zack Morris...

343 votes.

I demand a recount.

Jessie, I was
only kidding.

I voted for Gilligan.

Congratulations, Zack. You've
earned that trip to Washington.

Trip? But you said
it was canceled.

That was just a test to see

if you care more about yourself
than the school.

But I was
wrong about you, Zack.

You're a better man
than I thought.

- Zack?
- Hi. Can I come in?

You've been coming in
that window for the past 10 years.

Well...

actually, I came by
to return something.

What?

Your blankie.

I think I can get along
without it now.

So how you doing?

Fine.

By the way, congratulations
on your victory.

Thanks.
I'm sorry you lost.

It's okay.

I'm really
happy for you.

Jessie, you're crying.

I always cry when I'm happy.
I sob at The Three Stooges.

Being elected president would've
meant a lot to you, wouldn't it?

Yeah...

but it's over now.

Oh, hey, I heard you won
a trip to Washington, too.

I hope you enjoy it.

Jessie, I have
to tell you something.

I knew about
the trip all along.

That's the only reason
why I ran against you.

What? You mean that's
all you cared about?

I also cared about getting
a week off from school.

Look, I really wanted that trip.

But I want your
friendship more.

I'm going to Belding
to resign.

Am I hearing what
I think I'm hearing?

Yeah.

I want you to be president
and go to Washington.

That city needs
someone honest.

I'm sorry I hurt you.

Now I feel bad.

Well, here's someone
who might help.

Bear-bear!

I mean... Teddy.

Still friends?

Forever.

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