Original subtitles

I don't want you to think it's about me being unhappy here,

I just wanted to talk to you because I'm not sure if...

I'm just not sure if things are working out for me here.

God, that sounds serious.

You're not leaving us, are you?

Well, maybe. I don't know.

-Is it the new position? -No, I'm really enjoying...

Because we see that as a step forward.

Oh, yeah. I was really pleased to get it, but...

Look, Ian, I don't know if you know, but I--

I recently cancelled my wedding.

Yeah, I had heard.

Yeah, so, I mean, I've been re-evaluating things

in all areas of my life, Ian, and...

...just maybe I should be having an honest look at my skills

...and my...

Well, just maybe I should be aiming a bit higher.

Gawd. It's a bit sudden, isn't it?

Well, look, Ian, I haven't made any decisions as yet,

I just wanted to talk to you about it.

Okay.

I just think there might be more to life

than being a marketing manager.

What?

I'm just wondering if there's more...

...than being a marketing manager.

[CHUCKLES]

But you're not a marketing manager.

[CHUCKLES]

-I am. -No, you're not. Ha, ha.

I am, Ian. I've been marketing manager

for the past six months, since my last pay review.

That's-- that's what we're talking about.

No, you're not.

Look, I'm not saying, I'm not grateful for the promotion,

because I am.

-Oh, that's a mistake. -What?

You're not marketing manager. That's a mistake.

That's supposed to be marketing manager's PA.

-PA? -Yes.

What, you thought you went from reception to marketing manager?

Well, yeah.

Didn't you see Jenny doing the marketing manager's job?

I just-- I thought she was being helpful.

Well, what about your pay? Your pay didn't go up.

-Yes, it did. -What?

It did go up. Of course it went up.

Oh, my God.

Well, look, Ian, thanks for the chat,

because it has really helped.

That's-- That's twice what you should have been on.

Sort of focus.

Yeah, it's really helped, actually.

Right, I'd better get back to--

Well, didn't you think that was a bit much?

Well, actually, I thought it reflected my potential.

We're gonna need that back.

-Oh. Heh, he. -Oh, hi.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

Who the fuck are you?

-Get out my bed. -It's Brian!

-It's Brian! -What?

-Brian. It's Brian, Karen. -Brian?

Yeah, Brian. Brian from the Marquis.

-Brian? -Yeah, do you remember?

Brian.

[PANTING]

Shit! What time is it?

-What day is it? -Wednesday.

-Not Monday? -No.

Shit!

That man. The man. That--That man upstairs,

can you get rid of him?

Does that mean you've finished with him then?

[DOOR CLOSES]

I'll take that as a yes.

Hello.

-Hello. -Yes, hello.

Sorry about my legs. I was just trying something out.

Yeah. Where's Karen?

She gone. She's gone.

Went to school. Over there.

Right. Well, I-- I'd better go too, actually.

Do you want a bath or anything?

A wash? Quick soapy.

I don't mean with me.

[BOTH LAUGH]

-Wh-- What's your name? -Oh, it's a silly name.

Louise. My mum thought I look...

Louise, was Karen okay when she left,

because she seemed a bit confused.

Oh, no, she's fine. She's just in a dark place mentally.

-So do you live nearby? -Yeah.

Look, have you got a piece of paper and a pen,

I can leave my number for Karen?

Yeah. Yeah.

Hang on. Wait there a minute.

Hold on.

Just coming.

Hold on, Brian.

[PANTS]

Okay, shoot.

And now look, there's a little elephant

getting a hug from its mother elephant.

And Bobo says?

ALL: Hug.

KAREN: Hug. Yes, hug.

Bobo just wants a hug, doesn't he?

Some real physical contact

that's more than just a fleeting...

And, look,

Bobo's crying now because he's--

He's all alone in the world,

and everything he sees just reminds him

of his terrible, desperate aching...

Hug.

Bless you, sweetheart.

Bless your beautiful innocent little heart,

but Bobo's all alone with his terrible agony,

and he's finding it increasingly difficult

to find a reason why he should carry on at all.

So he fills it with meaningless...

And there's Bobo's mummy.

-There's... STUDENTS: Hug.

Yes, hug.

[SOBBING]

And now it's nap time.

Let's see who can go to sleep the fastest.

[KAREN CONTINUES SOBBING]

Thank you, David.

It's just a bit of a comedown. I think I...

-Karen, go home. -What?

-You're under suspension. -What for?

What for? I've just caught you crying in front of reception.

So, they cry all the time.

Last week, we found you asleep in the soft-play area.

I explained that.

We were playing sleepy time, and I dozed off...

And we said then that one more incident and you're out.

Yeah, but this is hardly an incident.

Just go home, Karen.

Right. Fine.

Great, in fact, because I don't wanna do

your stupid poxy job anyway.

Karen, I don't think taking that attitude's gonna help.

Really?

Then what about this attitude:

You can take your kids, David,

and you can stick each and every one of them up your arse.

-Is that attitude any better? -Karen!

This is the best news of my life!

DONNA: I mean, I don't know what they were getting so panicky about,

I mean, I'm gonna pay them back.

It's not like I'm gonna rob them.

You can have that, if you want.

You just need to scrape Jenny off. It's-- It's only Tipex.

Are you off down the Job Centre then?

What? No, of course I'm not off down the Job Center, Karl.

I don't know, I thought you were looking for a job.

Yeah, but I want a better one! I haven't stopped

being a marketing manager to go down the Job Center.

You weren't a marketing manager.

I was! Till they found out.

I just want something good, you know.

Creative with interesting work mates

and my own office and...

I think I might be having a breakdown.

What?

You're not having a breakdown, Karl.

I haven't left the room in three days.

I've been shitting into a cornflakes packet.

Yeah, right, well...

Yeah, that-- That sounds like a breakdown.

My mum thinks maybe seeing you's making it worse.

Well, is-- Is that how you feel?

Karl?

Maybe it would be easier for me to get on with things.

Oh, right. Well, if that's how you feel.

Yeah.

Right, well, I'll get off then.

You can keep that.

It's-- It's A4.

It's quite-- It's quite a good one, actually.

I just want the best for you, Karl.

-Guess what? -Aah! You're pregnant!

-No! -Your mum's dead?

Jesus, no! What's the matter with you?

-I left my job. -Me too.

What? Why?

Because, apparently, I'm irresponsible.

What are you doing? You can't drink that in here.

It's just under the flipping table.

So are we going to the pub or what?

I can't go to the pub, I've got to find another job.

Make up your mind, Donna. Do you want a job or not?

Yeah, but I want a better one.

I want the kind of job that's fulfilling and creative

and that fully rewards my skills.

-What skills? -I've got skills.

Organizing leaving presents isn't a skill.

The thing you've got to understand

about the marketplace these days, Karen,

is that skills are all transferable.

It's all a question of units

and of transferring the units upwards

from one firm to another.

Donna, you saw that on The Apprentice last night,

you don't even know what it means.

Yes, I do. You know, it's a-- It's-- You just--

You know, you transfer your units upwards.

I think you're really brave, Donna.

We must tear asunder the past

before we can truly deserve the future.

Exactly that. God, that's beautiful.

-Who said that? -Hitler.

Right.

INTERVIEWER: You want?

DONNA: Something in media, uh,

human rights or criminal pathology.

Or an agent for a sports' personality.

I mean, look at your CV.

You've put under Skills, organizing leaving presents.

Yeah. Which means responsibility, budgets.

It means responding creatively to challenges

on the spur of the moment.

People skills.

How did you get to be marketing manager?

I mean, a marketing manager's PA, yes.

Well, how about something in human resources,

because they don't do anything, apart from talk to people.

In my last job,

I was always being told to stop talking to people.

I got a written warning, for God's sake.

You have to train.

Well, I can pick it up on the job.

That's one of my strengths.

I'm unfettered by a formal training or education.

You've spelt education wrong.

Well, can't I work with asylum seekers or something?

No.

Well, what about something in here? I mean, your job.

I could do that. I could sit behind a desk,

staring at a computer, picking my nose.

Sorry.

Sorry about that.

Vodka and tonic, and whatever you're having.

Can I have a Pepparami?

Go on, knock yourself out.

All right?

This is the life, ain't it, eh? No work.

Tell 'em where to stick it, eh?

[UNKNOWN GADGET BEEPING]

First of many.

So, what time do things liven up around here?

Christmas.

I can't believe she's not here.

I mean, it's-- It's mixed messages, isn't it?

I don't know, Louise, the night before she's all over me,

and the next day, she can't be bothered to turn up.

Oh, don't.

It's just that's Karen.

That's how she is with men, you know.

Yeah, but I thought we were getting on.

-We had a laugh, I thought. -Aw, come here, you.

She's just such a...

-You know. -I mean, is it me?

Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm...

No, no. Don't be silly.

You're lovely.

And kind.

And fragrant.

And your shoulders...

-...are so... -Louise?

What?

You're really easy to talk to.

I feel really comfortable with you.

You've got something there.

Just there on-- It's gone. Gone now.

I mean, if there aren't any decent jobs around

then why has everyone on telly got one?

[SOBS]

It's not like I'm asking to be a brain surgeon.

I'm not even asking to be a heart surgeon, for chrissake.

It's like no one wants me.

Well, I want you.

Yeah, but no one that counts though.

Sorry, Karl,

I didn't mean...

No, I-- I-- I know what you mean.

I just feel so useless.

I mean, I must be worth more than this.

[SNIFFLES]

Come here.

What? Is that an erection?

No, it's my phone.

No, it's your cock.

Oh, yeah, it is my cock.

I'll just go and put the kettle on, okay.

-Good idea. -Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, that's definitely a...

Tea. Lovely.

[MUSIC BLARING OVER SPEAKER]

And all them beautiful little eyes starring up at me,

and it fills me with joy,

and I think, "You little things,

with your tiny hands and your little nails,

you are the future.

You are hope and that makes me feel warm, you know."

Yeah. I've got to take a shit, Karen.

I think it's the drugs.

[MUSIC CONTINUES BLARING OVER SPEAKER]

[ENGINE ROARING]

I just feel like I need a leg up, you know?

I just need someone to give me the chance to prove myself,

and then I can just blag the rest,

and it'll be too late to fire me.

I could ask Brian if he knows anyone

who could give you a good job.

-What's he do? -Don't know.

We're just at that getting to know each other stage.

-So are you seeing him again? -Yep.

We're going to the Marquis.

Second date.

The Marquis.

You haven't told him Karen's gonna be there, have you?

-No, not categorically. -Louise!

Look, Donna, there's something between me and Brian.

I can't put my finger on it, but it's definitely there.

Yeah, it's called Karen.

Where is she anyway?

Did she not come home last night?

No.

God, it's like half-term all over again.

[PHONE RINGING]

I'm locking my bedroom door tonight.

Seriously.

[KARL PANTING]

Karl?

-What's this? -Gavin's number.

Who's Gavin?

He's the bloke who got Darren his job.

Apparently, some big agency or something.

Darren's given him a call,

told him you're a top flight marketing thingy.

-Really? -Yeah, you've got to call him up

and go in there. He'll see you today.

Oh, God. Karl--

-This-- This is amazing. -Yeah.

I can't believe you did this for me.

Well, actually, Donna, I did it for me.

Right.

Yeah, I woke up this morning, I just thought...

it's time to get on with things.

Oh, well, that's good.

So I went to the shop to get some milk.

Just like that, just out of the blue.

And then I had this sort of realization

that if I was gonna get on with things, I'd have to get moving.

And so I decided to do this for you.

'Cause I can move on now, start living my life...

-...living like a normal-- -Oh, my God. Your feet!

KARL: What? -Jesus Christ, Karl!

Have you been wandering around like that?

-I mean, where does Darren live? -Just down the road.

-Look, you'd better come in. -No.

Donna, I'm-- I'm fine. Just--

Just let me--

Just let me get on with things my own way.

Give me a vodka and tonic.

[UNKNOWN GADGET BEEPING]

Who's fucking knickers are these?

Oh!

So, you're a mate of Darren's.

Lovely guy.

Complete wanker, but lovely guy.

Now, you want something in media or human rights.

Yeah, look.

Gavin, I'm-- I'm just--

I'm a little bit worried because...

I don't have any actual experience in, in those fields.

-Well, skills are transferable. -Are they?

In today's market, it's a question of units.

I mean, walking a tightrope at 2 feet

is the same as walking it at 200 feet, right?

-I think so. -How about this?

Head of Marketing Exec for a film distribution conglomerate.

Used to work there myself, really laid back,

lovely guys, complete arseholes, but lovely guys.

It's actually only about 150,000 a year,

but with your bonuses, that's really gonna bring that up.

Well, I mean, you know, if--

if the bonuses are a bonus, then-- Then that's--

That's probably quite a--

Quite a bonus.

These guys are gonna love you.

Pop along this afternoon,

then why don't we go for a drink

-and discuss how it went. -Yeah, cool, cool.

Cool, I mean. Cool.

-David, can I have a word? -What are you doing here?

I just wanted to have a chat with you about the suspension.

This really isn't appropriate.

Because I think that I-- I might be ready to come back.

Oh, you might be ready, might you?

Yeah. So can I?

-Can I come back, please? -Karen...

Please, David, I'm saying please.

Look, I'm gonna change.

I mean, I've been thinking about what I've been like,

and I can see now that I--

Look, I like being a teacher.

It's what I do.

I need it.

It keeps me together, gives me balance.

Oh, I don't know. Worst thing is...

I feel like I'm letting the kids down.

-Karen, just-- -Please, David.

Please, don't take them away from me.

Look, all right.

Come in tomorrow and we'll talk about a way forward.

Are you serious?

I'm promising nothing, Karen.

No, no, of course. I understand. Absolutely.

But if you come in, we'll have a talk.

Okay. Great. Thank you. Thanks.

Thanks. Thank you. Jesus.

Thank you.

Oh, you won't regret this. Honest.

And don't come in with a hangover.

No, God. Of course, of course no.

Thank you for this, David. I mean, that.

Go home and get some sleep.

[KAREN LAUGHS]

And sorry about the kids up the arse thing.

Why did you say she was gonna be here?

Well, because...

Well, really the truth is,

is that I just wanted to get to know you a bit better.

I don't meet men that I like very often, at all actually.

Well, never.

And I just think, you're really--

You're really--

You're just so--

No, I'm sorry, Louise, I'm just-- I'm just confused.

Well, look, it's okay. I understand.

We'll take things slowly.

Let's go back to mine and get drunk.

Hi, Donna.

I'm Dan, your direct superior.

Though only in name, not in talent, intellect or ability.

[DAN & BEATE LAUGH]

Beate, this is Donna.

We're hoping she's going to completely revamp

how our distribution is perceived in the marketplace.

BEATE: Hello. -Hi there.

Beate is in charge of one of the biggest film

and multi-media companies in Germany,

and is currently umming and arring

about whether she's going to join ship.

So I'm having to suck her cock a little longer than usual.

[DAN & BEATE LAUGHING]

[DONNA LAUGHS]

-Nice dinosaur. -Oh, this?

Yeah, sorry, it's just a mascot.

Maybe a pen holder.

[DAN LAUGHS]

Gavin said you were special.

Actually, what the hell, why don't you sit in on this.

Yeah, it'll be great to have a fresh perspective.

Well, I-- I just got here so...

Fantastic.

Well, look, the worry Beate has here

is a matter of personnel and training.

No, no, no, Dan, it's not a matter of personnel,

it's a matter of understanding

the particular needs of the German marketplace.

I mean, this isn't Hollywood.

We're talking about a very sophisticated market of AB1s...

Beate, please, we understand the market.

We've been shifting units in Dusseldorf for years.

BEATE: I appreciate that.

But without understanding the particular needs

of what is happening on the ground,

the whole thing could blow up in our faces.

DAN: Donna? -Huh?

-Any thoughts? -Yeah. Some.

I'd love to hear them, if you don't mind.

Yeah.

Okay.

May-- Maybe the dinosaur has an idea.

[ROARS THEN CHUCKLES]

[LAUGHING]

[LOWER TONE] Don't ask me, I'm extinct.

Well, it's-- It's--

It's all a matter of units, and of shifting your units upwards.

I mean, walking a tightrope at 2 feet's

the same as doing it at 200 feet.

Isn't it?

She's got a point.

BEATE: She's got a very good point.

That's a very, very good point.

Well, let's just say, for argument's sake,

that I'm coming with you.

You're there, Beate, you're there. Just take the jump.

Yes, I'm thinking seriously.

But there are small things to consider,

like the application software and--

Well, Jesus, that's hardly a problem, is it? Donna?

-What? -Tell her

how we'd handle the application software.

Well, I think we would handle it.

-Tell Beate how. DONNA: Well...

Just the first thing that comes in to your head.

Well, maybe not the first thing.

Come on, come on, the first thing. Just--

Well, man killing a dog, stray dog.

[CHUCKLES]

Application software...

Make sure the application applies to the software,

and if it doesn't, then bring it back to the manufacturers.

Always keep your receipts.

Right. Software-- Software-- Problem.

Software problem.

Is it a problem?

Is it really? Life is about living and love and happiness.

And Christ, we're not on the planet for very long, are we,

so what you should do, Beate,

is just chill out, for fuck's sake.

Take a chance and jump.

Goddamn it, jump, you bitch.

I think what I'm really trying to say here is,

that we must tear asunder the past

before we can truly deserve the future.

Is that Hitler?

No.

We're going to need to think about this, Dan.

There are some very interesting offers

coming from Fox Searchlight and-- Dan?

Oh, sorry. It just feels a bit weird.

I understand.

I mean, the other night I was here with Karen having sex.

Brian, you don't have to worry, there's no pressure.

I'm not Karen.

I really like you, but that is just not on my mind.

Thanks, Louise. Sorry.

I'll be back in a minute.

[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]

-Hello, Brian. -Karen?

How are you, where have you been?

Celebrating.

I got my job back.

-Oh, that's great. -Yeah.

I'm cleaning up my act for the kids.

Do you wanna have sex with me?

You don't have to wear a condom.

Yeah, great.

DONNA: I think Ian's just glad to have me back.

I mean, sure, he had to go through the motions of me

begging for my job back,

but, actually, it's quite funny, really.

Everyone was laughing.

Are you sure you're all right with all this?

-With what? -All this, this new life stuff.

I mean, you could always move in here.

Supposed to be our home.

Karl, I'm-- I'm really happy.

I've got-- I've got a new home,

I've got a new job that's almost as good as the old one.

I'm-- I'm great.

-Are you crying? -A little bit.

It's all right, I'll think of something.

[KAREN SCREAMING AND MOANING]

[SCREAMING AND MOANING STOP]

[CREAKING]

[BRIAN & KAREN MOANING AND GRUNTING]