All language subtitles for Home Improvement - 314 - Dream On

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,974 --> 00:00:02,693 Does everybody know what time it is? 2 00:00:02,751 --> 00:00:04,624 Tool Time! 3 00:00:04,654 --> 00:00:06,696 That's right! Binford Tools is proud to present 4 00:00:06,727 --> 00:00:10,024 Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. Whoo! 5 00:00:14,897 --> 00:00:16,870 Thank you, Heidi. Welcome to Tool Time. 6 00:00:16,900 --> 00:00:18,638 I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. 7 00:00:18,668 --> 00:00:22,170 I think you all know my assistant - Al... Borland. 8 00:00:24,006 --> 00:00:25,846 Today on Tool Time, 9 00:00:25,876 --> 00:00:28,581 Tim and I are going to be talking about refinishing. 10 00:00:28,611 --> 00:00:30,217 That's right, Al. 11 00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:32,152 Just when you're finished repairing that old table, 12 00:00:32,182 --> 00:00:35,588 you think you're finished, but you're not really finished until you refinish. 13 00:00:35,618 --> 00:00:37,590 Are you finished? 14 00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:40,121 No, but I have an uncle who lives in Denmark. 15 00:00:42,424 --> 00:00:45,026 - Tim. - Actually, his name's Lars. 16 00:00:47,329 --> 00:00:49,870 We've taken the first coat off of this table, 17 00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:52,205 now we're ready to sand it down and put our last coat of stain on there. 18 00:00:52,235 --> 00:00:56,009 Before you get started, be sure to wear protective eyewear and dust mask. 19 00:00:56,039 --> 00:00:57,077 That's right. 20 00:00:57,107 --> 00:00:59,212 Allergic reactions to wood are common 21 00:00:59,242 --> 00:01:02,710 when working with members of the nut-bearing family. 22 00:01:06,181 --> 00:01:07,782 Like the Borlands. 23 00:01:09,584 --> 00:01:13,493 It's also a good idea to wear protective gloves. 24 00:01:13,523 --> 00:01:15,595 Al, you're starting to act like my mother. 25 00:01:15,625 --> 00:01:18,659 If that beard were any thicker, you'd look like your mother. 26 00:01:23,832 --> 00:01:25,906 Tim, I think it's a good idea to wear the gloves. 27 00:01:25,936 --> 00:01:28,708 I've been working with wood all my life. I'm not allergic to hardwood. 28 00:01:28,738 --> 00:01:31,945 That's not the point. There's a lot of dust here and... 29 00:01:31,975 --> 00:01:34,381 Well, you can develop an allergy over time. 30 00:01:34,411 --> 00:01:39,219 Symptoms can include puffiness around the eyes, severe rash, extreme swelling. 31 00:01:39,249 --> 00:01:42,317 Oh, Al, I think you may be right. My eyes are really itchy. 32 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:50,074 AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday 33 00:02:57,726 --> 00:02:59,886 What do you think? Could we put the kids in the middle? 34 00:03:03,665 --> 00:03:05,805 Al, we just had lunch with the crew. 35 00:03:05,835 --> 00:03:10,110 They loved the gag today. Klaus almost choked on his hot dog. 36 00:03:10,140 --> 00:03:12,412 They loved the way the hands swelled up. 37 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:15,382 Not as swelled up as your head. 38 00:03:15,412 --> 00:03:17,550 What's eating your shorts? 39 00:03:17,580 --> 00:03:21,388 My shorts are fine, thank you. 40 00:03:21,418 --> 00:03:23,956 You're gonna be a load of laughs at dinner tonight. 41 00:03:23,986 --> 00:03:27,293 Not like you've ever been a load of laughs. 42 00:03:27,323 --> 00:03:30,196 I don't think that Ilene and I can make it. 43 00:03:30,226 --> 00:03:33,500 - Jill's expecting you. - It's not a good night for us. 44 00:03:33,530 --> 00:03:36,202 Why not? 45 00:03:36,232 --> 00:03:38,238 It's personal. I don't wanna talk about it. 46 00:03:38,268 --> 00:03:42,075 I won't tell anybody. I'm your best friend. I'm your only friend. 47 00:03:42,105 --> 00:03:45,278 It's a remark like that that makes me not wanna tell you. 48 00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:49,782 I'm kidding. I can see a big flannel cloud hovering over your head. 49 00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:52,580 Come on, Al. Tell me what's the matter. 50 00:03:56,051 --> 00:04:00,826 Well, last night, something very disturbing happened. 51 00:04:00,856 --> 00:04:03,430 Ilene... had a dream. 52 00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:05,898 No. 53 00:04:05,928 --> 00:04:09,630 Not a dream. While she was sleeping? 54 00:04:11,934 --> 00:04:14,707 Scientists may want to study her. 55 00:04:14,737 --> 00:04:17,410 You don't understand. It was a very passionate dream. 56 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:20,774 - Clothes were strewn about. - Not strewn about! 57 00:04:22,177 --> 00:04:24,684 Yes, strewn. 58 00:04:24,714 --> 00:04:28,688 She was talking to this man who she said had a very deep voice. 59 00:04:28,718 --> 00:04:32,892 And they were... they were riding a golden stallion, 60 00:04:32,922 --> 00:04:35,723 and he was wearing bicycle shorts. 61 00:04:40,962 --> 00:04:42,935 Get a grip, will you? 62 00:04:42,965 --> 00:04:45,972 It's a dream. Don't you dream about other women sometimes? 63 00:04:46,002 --> 00:04:49,942 No! My dreams are good, clean fun. 64 00:04:49,972 --> 00:04:53,279 You're driving yourself crazy over a silly dream with some jerk in it. 65 00:04:53,309 --> 00:04:57,011 Well, it wasn't just some jerk, Tim. It was you. 66 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:01,521 - Really? - Oh, I shouldn't have told you that. 67 00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,189 Sure you should have. 68 00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:06,326 A golden stallion. Hyah! Hyah! 69 00:05:06,356 --> 00:05:08,794 - Tight bicycle shorts. - Tim! 70 00:05:08,824 --> 00:05:11,164 Hyah! Hyah! Hyah... 71 00:05:11,194 --> 00:05:15,268 It's just a dream, a very common dream. 72 00:05:15,298 --> 00:05:17,270 Women all over the tri-state area 73 00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:20,607 look at me as a symbol of virility. 74 00:05:20,637 --> 00:05:24,010 All I can say is, I don't want you showing up in her dreams again, 75 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,407 or there's gonna be trouble. 76 00:05:28,377 --> 00:05:31,312 What, are you gonna fall asleep and dream like you're beating me up? 77 00:05:33,649 --> 00:05:36,322 OK, I know that it's not your fault. 78 00:05:36,352 --> 00:05:40,126 It's just that Ilene means so much to me. 79 00:05:40,156 --> 00:05:42,262 And, well... 80 00:05:42,292 --> 00:05:45,498 I wanted to be the one on that golden stallion riding into the sunset, 81 00:05:45,528 --> 00:05:48,496 wearing skimpy bicycle shorts. 82 00:05:49,898 --> 00:05:52,667 There's a pretty picture. 83 00:06:01,710 --> 00:06:04,551 E-A-T. "Eat." 84 00:06:04,581 --> 00:06:06,852 OK, that's three points. 85 00:06:06,882 --> 00:06:10,651 And it only took you half an hour to come up with it. 86 00:06:13,154 --> 00:06:15,328 OK, Randy. It's your turn. 87 00:06:15,358 --> 00:06:18,698 All right. I'll put an "M" on top of the "E," 88 00:06:18,728 --> 00:06:21,934 and then "L-O-N." That's "melon." 89 00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:25,271 Double word score - 14 points. 90 00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:28,269 - Pretty good. - Watch this. 91 00:06:29,904 --> 00:06:35,515 After the "N," I'll add "O-L-O-G-Y." 92 00:06:35,545 --> 00:06:38,112 That's 16 points. 93 00:06:43,518 --> 00:06:45,253 "Melonology"? 94 00:06:47,922 --> 00:06:50,057 The study of melons. 95 00:06:52,661 --> 00:06:55,167 There's no such word as "melonology." 96 00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:59,038 Yeah, there is. Call the fruit section at the grocery store. 97 00:06:59,068 --> 00:07:02,303 Who should I ask for - the melonologist? 98 00:07:03,472 --> 00:07:05,578 - Hey. Hi, guys. - Hey, Dad. 99 00:07:05,608 --> 00:07:06,879 - Hey, Dad. - Hey, Dad. 100 00:07:06,909 --> 00:07:10,383 Scrabble. That's a great way to learn words. 101 00:07:10,413 --> 00:07:13,219 - Who put down "melonology"? - Brad. 102 00:07:13,249 --> 00:07:14,420 Me! 103 00:07:14,450 --> 00:07:16,250 All right. 104 00:07:19,220 --> 00:07:20,727 - Hi. - Hi. 105 00:07:20,757 --> 00:07:22,862 I'm so proud of Brad. 106 00:07:22,892 --> 00:07:25,732 Playing Scrabble, he came up with "melonology." 107 00:07:25,762 --> 00:07:27,867 That's not a word, Tim. 108 00:07:27,897 --> 00:07:30,498 Melonology - the study of guys named Mel. 109 00:07:32,334 --> 00:07:35,174 Did you tell Al and Ilene to come for dinner at seven? 110 00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:38,678 Yeah. They almost didn't come. 111 00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:41,681 Al's upset because apparently Ilene had a dream about me. 112 00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:44,077 What'd she eat before she went to sleep? 113 00:07:45,747 --> 00:07:50,122 Get this. She dreamed that I was riding a golden stallion, 114 00:07:50,152 --> 00:07:52,886 with a deep sexy voice and tight bicycle shorts. 115 00:07:54,389 --> 00:07:58,025 Wow! She must have had a big bean burrito. 116 00:08:01,430 --> 00:08:04,069 Really? A lot of women watch Tool Time. 117 00:08:04,099 --> 00:08:08,736 Sooner or later, they are thinking, "I want him." 118 00:08:15,377 --> 00:08:18,584 Smirk if you will, but you're not the only woman who dreams about me. 119 00:08:18,614 --> 00:08:20,586 I don't dream about you, Tim. 120 00:08:20,616 --> 00:08:23,222 It's bad enough I have to see you when I'm awake. 121 00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:25,658 Hey, guys, guys! Come take this laundry. 122 00:08:25,688 --> 00:08:27,760 Take it upstairs, fold it and put it away. 123 00:08:27,790 --> 00:08:30,090 - Sure, Mom. - Yes, Mother. 124 00:08:32,894 --> 00:08:35,735 They actually did it. 125 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:39,205 Be honest with me. When you dream about me, what am I usually wearing? 126 00:08:39,235 --> 00:08:42,174 I told you. I don't dream about you. 127 00:08:42,204 --> 00:08:45,077 - Who do you dream about? - You know, the usual. 128 00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:48,147 Like Mario Andretti, Al Unser, that sort of stuff? 129 00:08:48,177 --> 00:08:50,683 No. That's who you dream about. 130 00:08:50,713 --> 00:08:53,486 The guy that I dream about isn't even real. 131 00:08:53,516 --> 00:08:57,824 If he's not real, it's, like, a cartoon character, like Bullwinkle? 132 00:08:57,854 --> 00:09:00,393 No, Tim. It's not Bullwinkle. 133 00:09:00,423 --> 00:09:02,328 Scooby-Doo? 134 00:09:02,358 --> 00:09:04,631 Yeah, that's right. You really know me! 135 00:09:04,662 --> 00:09:07,400 Me and Scooby-Doo. 136 00:09:07,430 --> 00:09:11,871 I hold Scooby's hand. We walk along the Scooby-beach. 137 00:09:11,901 --> 00:09:14,368 Do a little Scooby-diving. 138 00:09:18,807 --> 00:09:22,081 Come on! If it isn't Scooby-Doo or Bullwinkle, who is it? 139 00:09:22,111 --> 00:09:24,250 I'm not gonna tell you. You'll make fun of me. 140 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:26,753 No, no. I'll make you a deal. 141 00:09:26,783 --> 00:09:29,221 I'll tell you what I dream about if you tell me what you dream about. 142 00:09:29,251 --> 00:09:31,323 I don't wanna know what you dream about. 143 00:09:31,353 --> 00:09:33,554 All right, it's your turn. 144 00:09:35,957 --> 00:09:40,299 All right. If you must know... 145 00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:42,296 I dream about Tarzan. 146 00:09:44,533 --> 00:09:46,205 Tarzan of the jungle? 147 00:09:46,235 --> 00:09:50,109 No, Tarzan of St. Louis. 148 00:09:50,139 --> 00:09:53,012 Tarzan doesn't even have a car. 149 00:09:53,042 --> 00:09:57,650 We don't need a car. We never leave the tree house. 150 00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,552 It's just Tarzan and me. I'm Jane. 151 00:09:59,582 --> 00:10:01,554 I'm wearing this cute leopard-skinned outfit, 152 00:10:01,584 --> 00:10:04,585 and I have big, beautiful breasts. 153 00:10:05,654 --> 00:10:08,121 I dream about that, too. 154 00:10:15,129 --> 00:10:18,237 What's the big deal about Tarzan? 155 00:10:18,267 --> 00:10:24,109 Well, Tarzan's very strong but sensitive. 156 00:10:24,139 --> 00:10:28,648 Takes me in his arms, pulls me up to this big, huge, muscular chest. 157 00:10:28,678 --> 00:10:32,785 I can hear his heart beating. My heart beats faster. 158 00:10:32,815 --> 00:10:35,321 I close my eyes, he starts kissing my neck... 159 00:10:35,351 --> 00:10:37,890 - Jill... - Then he starts kissing... 160 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:39,920 Got a minute? 161 00:10:41,022 --> 00:10:43,529 Sorry. 162 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,626 God, is it hot in here? 163 00:10:50,599 --> 00:10:54,006 You told Al and Ilene seven, right? It's ten after. They're still not here. 164 00:10:54,036 --> 00:10:57,076 Ilene probably wanted to get in a nap, 165 00:10:57,106 --> 00:10:59,473 have one more dream about me before tonight. 166 00:11:01,710 --> 00:11:06,452 Stop it right there! No jokes about Ilene's dream tonight. 167 00:11:06,482 --> 00:11:08,654 The last thing in the world I wanna talk about tonight 168 00:11:08,684 --> 00:11:12,324 is me on a golden stallion, 169 00:11:12,354 --> 00:11:14,760 dressed in bicycle shorts so tight, 170 00:11:14,790 --> 00:11:18,698 no woman could resist me. 171 00:11:18,728 --> 00:11:21,200 This is not something that you should joke about. 172 00:11:21,230 --> 00:11:23,202 You saying I can't be myself in my own home? 173 00:11:23,232 --> 00:11:25,933 Yes, exactly. Be somebody else. Anybody else. 174 00:11:28,370 --> 00:11:30,776 I certainly hope Ilene can control herself. 175 00:11:30,806 --> 00:11:34,480 You know how sexy my deep voice is to her. 176 00:11:34,510 --> 00:11:37,016 Then do us all a favor and shut up. 177 00:11:37,046 --> 00:11:39,385 - Hi! Come on in. - Hi. 178 00:11:39,415 --> 00:11:42,388 - It's great of you to have us over. - It's nice to have you. 179 00:11:42,418 --> 00:11:44,456 I brought a very lovely tart. 180 00:11:44,486 --> 00:11:48,594 Al, that's no way to talk about Ilene. 181 00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:50,195 I was talking about... 182 00:11:50,225 --> 00:11:52,632 Honey, he was kidding. 183 00:11:52,662 --> 00:11:55,434 - You have a delightful sense of humor. - Thanks. I try. 184 00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:58,571 Well, I have a delightful sense of humor, too. 185 00:11:58,601 --> 00:12:00,540 A lot of people find me hilarious. 186 00:12:00,570 --> 00:12:04,710 Of course you are. It's just that your humor is more... subtle. 187 00:12:04,740 --> 00:12:07,207 Yeah. Sometimes Al doesn't even get it. 188 00:12:08,977 --> 00:12:10,950 - You guys want some wine? - I'd love some. 189 00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,952 I could be persuaded to partake. 190 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:15,888 Would you like to sit down? Could you take the cheese with you when you go? 191 00:12:15,918 --> 00:12:17,156 Great. 192 00:12:17,186 --> 00:12:20,760 I love a good cheese ball. 193 00:12:20,790 --> 00:12:22,828 So, Ilene, how was work today? 194 00:12:22,858 --> 00:12:25,965 Actually, I had a pretty tough day today. 195 00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:28,034 Well, you know what they say about the dental world - 196 00:12:28,064 --> 00:12:30,330 "It's like pulling teeth." 197 00:12:32,266 --> 00:12:34,234 It's pulling teeth. 198 00:12:36,437 --> 00:12:39,411 Actually, most orthodontists don't pull teeth. 199 00:12:39,441 --> 00:12:43,415 - Well, I know that. I was making a joke. - Oh. 200 00:12:43,445 --> 00:12:44,850 And a good one. 201 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:48,054 Just a lot more subtle than one I would have picked. 202 00:12:48,084 --> 00:12:49,188 Cheers! 203 00:12:49,218 --> 00:12:50,790 - Cheers! - Cheers! 204 00:12:50,820 --> 00:12:53,125 I'm trying a new recipe. I hope you all like it. 205 00:12:53,155 --> 00:12:56,456 Oh, I'm sure it'll be great. I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse. 206 00:13:06,501 --> 00:13:07,534 You're in luck. 207 00:13:10,672 --> 00:13:12,606 - Jill cooked stallion. - Tim. 208 00:13:14,943 --> 00:13:16,949 Did I say "stallion"? I meant "scallion." 209 00:13:16,979 --> 00:13:20,413 Big golden scallion. 210 00:13:23,818 --> 00:13:25,224 Tim, would you just...? 211 00:13:25,254 --> 00:13:26,859 I'm talking about scallions. 212 00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:28,794 I know what you're talking about. 213 00:13:28,824 --> 00:13:32,760 Well, it's not like I said she's cooking bicycle shorts. 214 00:13:35,797 --> 00:13:39,138 Wait a minute. Bicycle shorts? 215 00:13:39,168 --> 00:13:41,674 Al, did you tell him about my dream? 216 00:13:41,704 --> 00:13:45,778 Well, no. I... Yes. 217 00:13:45,808 --> 00:13:49,515 - I told you that in confidence. - And I told you that in confidence. 218 00:13:49,545 --> 00:13:51,717 And I told you not to bring up Ilene's dream! 219 00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:53,886 - Tim told you? - You told Jill? 220 00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:56,155 - He shouldn't have. - Al, this is all your fault. 221 00:13:56,185 --> 00:13:58,758 - It's Tim's fault. - It's not. She had the dream. 222 00:13:58,788 --> 00:14:00,760 Would you please shut up? 223 00:14:00,790 --> 00:14:02,828 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! What are we talking about? 224 00:14:02,858 --> 00:14:05,131 It's out. Now we can laugh about it, huh? 225 00:14:05,161 --> 00:14:07,166 I have never been so embarrassed. 226 00:14:07,196 --> 00:14:09,468 Tim, I... Ilene! 227 00:14:09,498 --> 00:14:13,806 Guys, guys, come on. What's the big deal? It's just a silly dream. 228 00:14:13,836 --> 00:14:16,142 Jill dreams about being naked, running around with Tarzan. 229 00:14:16,172 --> 00:14:17,172 Tim! 230 00:14:20,608 --> 00:14:25,651 How can I confide in you again? I tell you something in private and now the world knows. 231 00:14:25,681 --> 00:14:28,387 - It's not like the world knows. - I'm really sorry, Jill. 232 00:14:28,417 --> 00:14:30,417 I'm sorry, too. I... 233 00:14:33,487 --> 00:14:36,556 - Ilene, come on. - What? 234 00:14:40,095 --> 00:14:42,068 You gotta like guests like that 235 00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:44,397 that don't overstay their welcome. 236 00:14:49,170 --> 00:14:52,044 I thought you and I were... 237 00:14:52,074 --> 00:14:55,081 - tell Tim about me. - Get away from that window! 238 00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:57,316 They're really going at it out there. 239 00:14:57,346 --> 00:14:59,318 Tim, I hope you're happy now. 240 00:14:59,348 --> 00:15:01,553 Do you ever stop and think before you make stupid jokes? 241 00:15:01,583 --> 00:15:03,555 I couldn't help it. She said "horse." 242 00:15:03,585 --> 00:15:05,557 The only thing you could come up with is, 243 00:15:05,587 --> 00:15:09,261 "At least she's not cooking bicycle shorts"? 244 00:15:09,291 --> 00:15:11,897 You are supposed to be Al's friend. 245 00:15:11,927 --> 00:15:13,165 I am Al's friend. 246 00:15:13,195 --> 00:15:15,167 He was really upset about this, 247 00:15:15,197 --> 00:15:17,169 and I was trying to help him get over it. 248 00:15:17,199 --> 00:15:20,539 - By embarrassing him. - No, no, no, no, by making him laugh. 249 00:15:20,569 --> 00:15:23,275 I thought if he laughed, he'd realize this is just a silly dream. 250 00:15:23,305 --> 00:15:26,612 How do you think Al's feeling now? How do you think Ilene is feeling? 251 00:15:26,642 --> 00:15:28,948 You told them about my Tarzan dream! 252 00:15:28,978 --> 00:15:30,778 Well, how do you think I'm feeling? 253 00:15:34,849 --> 00:15:37,723 What do you have to feel bad about? 254 00:15:37,753 --> 00:15:39,992 I don't know. Give me a minute. 255 00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:42,128 Jill, it's gonna be OK. 256 00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:44,396 They're a couple, they had a little tiff. 257 00:15:44,426 --> 00:15:47,133 They'll get over it. Every relationship goes through stuff like this. 258 00:15:47,163 --> 00:15:50,002 In the long run, Al's gonna thank me for this. 259 00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:53,538 - Well, thank you, Tim. - There you go. 260 00:15:53,568 --> 00:15:56,942 Ilene broke up with me, she took my car and never wants to see me again. 261 00:15:56,972 --> 00:16:00,512 - Al, she's coming back. - How would you know? 262 00:16:00,542 --> 00:16:03,043 Well, if she doesn't, it's grand theft auto. 263 00:16:14,655 --> 00:16:17,930 Practicing for the ballet, Wilson? 264 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:21,801 No, Tim. I'm just reacquainting myself with t'ai chi, 265 00:16:21,831 --> 00:16:25,737 an ancient form of Chinese exercise. 266 00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:28,373 It balances the female and the male, 267 00:16:28,403 --> 00:16:30,637 the yin and the yang. 268 00:16:32,207 --> 00:16:36,009 From over here, the yin thinks the yang is a "yidiot." 269 00:16:39,481 --> 00:16:40,752 Troubles, neighbor Tim? 270 00:16:40,782 --> 00:16:42,421 I don't know... Troubles. 271 00:16:42,451 --> 00:16:45,390 Al's girlfriend Ilene had a dream about me, 272 00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:48,928 so I made a joke about it, and she got upset and broke up with Al. 273 00:16:48,958 --> 00:16:50,930 Jill thinks it's all my fault. 274 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:54,266 Tim, humor can be a wonderful thing. 275 00:16:54,296 --> 00:16:58,804 The Koran says, "He deserves paradise who makes his companions laugh." 276 00:16:58,834 --> 00:17:03,237 Yeah... Those Koreans know what's funny. 277 00:17:09,310 --> 00:17:10,983 On the other hand, Tim, 278 00:17:11,013 --> 00:17:14,186 Cervantes, the 16th-century novelist, said... 279 00:17:14,216 --> 00:17:18,023 "A jest that gives pain is no jest." 280 00:17:18,053 --> 00:17:20,525 In this case, you might have caused a little bit of pain. 281 00:17:20,555 --> 00:17:22,761 I certainly didn't mean to. 282 00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:25,965 Jokes are what I'm all about. That's why people like me. 283 00:17:25,995 --> 00:17:29,068 Well, maybe sometimes you go too far. 284 00:17:29,098 --> 00:17:31,703 I just didn't take the dream that seriously. 285 00:17:31,733 --> 00:17:36,141 Some people do. You know, dreams can have a deep and profound meaning. 286 00:17:36,171 --> 00:17:38,844 You know what the psychoanalyst Carl Jung said? 287 00:17:38,874 --> 00:17:42,348 Yin, yang, Jung? Where does it end, Wilson? 288 00:17:42,378 --> 00:17:46,185 Jung said dreams were merely symbols of something else. 289 00:17:46,215 --> 00:17:50,256 Plus, he recognized the significance of names and letters in dreams. 290 00:17:50,286 --> 00:17:52,624 In particular, first initials. 291 00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:56,128 Hmm. First initials, huh? 292 00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:59,731 Jill dreams about Tarzan and Jane. That's a "T" and a "J." 293 00:17:59,761 --> 00:18:01,833 - She's Jane, that's Jill. - Mm-hmm. 294 00:18:01,863 --> 00:18:05,537 "T" could be Tim. Tim and Jill. We're Tarzan and Jane? 295 00:18:05,567 --> 00:18:07,873 Very good, Tarzan. Jung would be impressed. 296 00:18:07,903 --> 00:18:09,536 Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. 297 00:18:12,140 --> 00:18:14,413 - Hi, Heidi. - Hi, Tim. 298 00:18:14,443 --> 00:18:17,182 Al, I called to see if you needed a ride, but you were gone. 299 00:18:17,212 --> 00:18:19,118 Heidi gave me a ride. 300 00:18:19,148 --> 00:18:21,453 So Ilene still has your car? 301 00:18:21,483 --> 00:18:23,956 Yes. 302 00:18:23,986 --> 00:18:25,791 Buddy, on the bright side, 303 00:18:25,821 --> 00:18:29,061 without a car, you get some exercise. Ride your bike to work. 304 00:18:29,091 --> 00:18:31,024 I'll loan you my bicycle shorts. 305 00:18:34,429 --> 00:18:37,303 Sorry, Tim, I'm not my usual jocular self. 306 00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:40,039 Well, the other night, 307 00:18:40,069 --> 00:18:42,574 I certainly didn't mean to upset you or Ilene. 308 00:18:42,604 --> 00:18:44,910 I shoot my mouth off, 309 00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:47,474 and you're just a big, bearded bull's-eye. 310 00:18:49,643 --> 00:18:52,117 Was that supposed to be an apology? 311 00:18:52,147 --> 00:18:53,752 Yeah. 312 00:18:53,782 --> 00:18:57,089 You see? Even in your apologies, you have to insult me. 313 00:18:57,119 --> 00:19:00,426 I'm kidding. You want to rehearse for the show? 314 00:19:00,456 --> 00:19:03,562 You never want to rehearse. 315 00:19:03,592 --> 00:19:05,597 I thought it'd make you feel better. 316 00:19:05,627 --> 00:19:07,699 It's not gonna make me feel better. 317 00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:10,702 Al, I only make fun of people and joke around with people I like. 318 00:19:10,732 --> 00:19:12,804 You must like me an awful lot. 319 00:19:12,834 --> 00:19:15,975 I think of you like one of my brothers. 320 00:19:16,005 --> 00:19:18,810 - You do? - Yeah. I joked with them all the time. 321 00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:22,442 That's why most of them won't speak to me to this day. 322 00:19:24,778 --> 00:19:26,785 So what you're saying is that 323 00:19:26,815 --> 00:19:30,722 when you make fun of my weight and my beard, it's because you like me? 324 00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:31,752 Yeah. 325 00:19:33,221 --> 00:19:36,523 How about when you tease me about wearing flannel? 326 00:19:38,526 --> 00:19:41,161 I do that because you look ridiculous. 327 00:19:46,934 --> 00:19:48,974 Well, I never told you this, Tim, 328 00:19:49,004 --> 00:19:52,872 but I think of you as a brother, too. 329 00:19:56,977 --> 00:19:59,346 - Ilene. - Of course you lean. You're lopsided. 330 00:20:03,617 --> 00:20:05,190 Down there. 331 00:20:05,220 --> 00:20:09,028 I just stopped by to give you your car. 332 00:20:09,058 --> 00:20:11,558 I got to go back to work. 333 00:20:13,194 --> 00:20:17,436 Ilene, I am so sorry that I told Tim about that dream. 334 00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:19,438 It's just that I was so upset. 335 00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:22,807 I didn't feel like I was man enough for you. 336 00:20:22,837 --> 00:20:25,772 You really felt that way? 337 00:20:27,075 --> 00:20:29,348 Yes. 338 00:20:29,378 --> 00:20:34,714 Oh, Al, you are the manliest man I've ever met. 339 00:20:36,817 --> 00:20:40,592 Well, then why were you dreaming about Tim? 340 00:20:40,622 --> 00:20:44,530 Oh, could I take a crack at that one? 341 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:48,733 There's this Korean philosopher, Yin Yang Jung, 342 00:20:48,763 --> 00:20:51,736 and he talks about dreams, and dreams are a lot about initials. 343 00:20:51,766 --> 00:20:54,173 She's dreaming about Tim Taylor, it's "TT." 344 00:20:54,203 --> 00:20:57,076 It could have been "tub of tomatoes," "Tony the Tiger..." 345 00:20:57,106 --> 00:21:00,179 Oh, "Tater Tot." Tater Tot, that's it. Tater Tot. 346 00:21:00,209 --> 00:21:03,610 You put a flannel shirt on a Tater Tot, you got you. 347 00:21:05,213 --> 00:21:06,818 - Thanks, Tim. - Mm-hmm. 348 00:21:06,848 --> 00:21:08,887 You've been a big help. 349 00:21:08,917 --> 00:21:11,123 I'm good with dreams. 350 00:21:11,153 --> 00:21:15,594 Oh, Al, it was just a silly dream. 351 00:21:15,624 --> 00:21:20,632 When I'm awake, all I dream about is you. 352 00:21:20,662 --> 00:21:23,835 Well, all I dream about is you. 353 00:21:23,865 --> 00:21:26,366 - Really? - Yes. 354 00:21:41,015 --> 00:21:46,458 You know, I'm thinking "TT" could be "Tool Time." 355 00:21:46,488 --> 00:21:48,921 It could be... ooh-how! 356 00:21:50,724 --> 00:21:52,325 Ta-ta! 357 00:22:05,673 --> 00:22:07,006 Tim! 358 00:22:08,609 --> 00:22:10,815 Wow! 359 00:22:10,845 --> 00:22:13,118 Roses, champagne. 360 00:22:13,148 --> 00:22:17,623 Oh! You even put the little butter knives on. 361 00:22:17,653 --> 00:22:19,424 Tim? 362 00:22:19,454 --> 00:22:20,787 Where are you? 363 00:22:23,524 --> 00:22:24,757 Tim? 364 00:22:35,969 --> 00:22:36,969 Tim? 365 00:22:50,384 --> 00:22:52,991 It's 15 degrees out there. 366 00:22:53,021 --> 00:22:55,088 You Jane, me frozen. 367 00:22:59,660 --> 00:23:02,262 - Somebody get Macy's on the phone. - Hey, hey, hey! 368 00:23:14,775 --> 00:23:16,710 He looks like a blowfish! 369 00:23:19,046 --> 00:23:20,819 This little piggy went to market. 370 00:23:20,849 --> 00:23:22,782 This little piggy went home. 371 00:23:25,085 --> 00:23:28,020 Shouldn't have had that last burrito, huh? 371 00:23:29,305 --> 00:23:35,548 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.SubtitleDB.org 29359

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