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1
00:00:07,807 --> 00:00:11,009
Well, we continue
our week-long salute...
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00:00:14,081 --> 00:00:15,586
to bathrooms.
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00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,988
We've already finished our basic
plumbing installation process.
4
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,856
Now we move on
to a thing called style.
5
00:00:19,886 --> 00:00:23,226
Women call this
"accessorizing the bathroom."
6
00:00:23,256 --> 00:00:27,297
We gotta talk about some of this stuff.
Like, what are these things?
7
00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:30,200
This is a flower decal to
prevent slipping in your tub.
8
00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:33,103
I have these at home.
9
00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:35,806
Why doesn't that surprise me?
10
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:37,941
Now, men, what do you wanna do?
Stand on a decal like this,
11
00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:41,912
or the new M1 Battle Tank
series?
12
00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:45,343
Or you could use what I use
at home - the Al decal.
13
00:00:47,412 --> 00:00:51,588
- So you step all over me like you do here?
- I like taking my work home.
14
00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:54,983
Toilet seat and seat covers.
Seat covers?
15
00:00:55,014 --> 00:00:58,729
Men don't need a seat cover. We don't
even need a squishy seat like this.
16
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:02,060
Toilet seats were just invented
so women won't fall in.
17
00:01:06,098 --> 00:01:08,566
Now, here's a toilet seat, huh?
18
00:01:12,471 --> 00:01:15,073
- What is in this?
- Barbed wire.
19
00:01:16,475 --> 00:01:18,849
And these - a woman's idea
of soap by the bath.
20
00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:23,186
Little roses
and little hearts and pigs.
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00:01:23,216 --> 00:01:25,722
How do you lather up with a pig?
22
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:28,759
Goodness knows you've tried.
23
00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:32,891
What men need...
Big bruiser soap like this.
24
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:38,835
- Football soap.
- Football soap on a rope, Al.
25
00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:41,638
Perfect for the underarms,
26
00:01:41,668 --> 00:01:44,069
the ears...
27
00:01:45,470 --> 00:01:47,806
Al, get naked, go long.
28
00:01:50,409 --> 00:01:52,844
You were gonna do that
for a minute, weren't you?
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00:01:54,000 --> 00:02:00,074
AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
30
00:03:02,714 --> 00:03:05,183
Well, what do you think? Should
we put the kids in the middle?
31
00:03:10,089 --> 00:03:12,595
Whoa, Mom, why did we get
such a big turkey?
32
00:03:12,625 --> 00:03:15,832
I thought Grandma and Grandpa aren't
coming over for Thanksgiving.
33
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:20,070
Well, who can blame them after the
food fight you started last year?
34
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:23,701
Hey. Nana got in a couple
of nice shots, all right?
35
00:03:25,805 --> 00:03:27,744
The reason we have
such a big turkey
36
00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:30,480
is because Al and Ilene
are coming.
37
00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:32,282
Al's bringing a girl?
38
00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:36,219
Yeah, she's that dentist who
makes all the teeth jokes.
39
00:03:36,249 --> 00:03:37,954
She's an orthodontist.
40
00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:41,191
And the way your teeth are coming
in, you'd better be nice to her.
41
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,926
OK, guys, will you go back out
42
00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:45,223
and get the rest
of the groceries?
43
00:03:46,558 --> 00:03:48,098
Honey, great news.
44
00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:50,233
The lumber showed up
and I'm ready to roll.
45
00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:53,770
- Lumber? What's that for?
- Uh...
46
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,939
I went by the lumberyard.
I had a vision.
47
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:58,141
Yeah, you have a vision every
time you go by the lumber yard.
48
00:03:58,171 --> 00:04:01,411
That's why when I'm in the car
we never go that way.
49
00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:03,146
Remember, you said this year
50
00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:05,648
you didn't wanna take the same
old boring Christmas card photo.
51
00:04:05,678 --> 00:04:09,419
Yeah. Now, what are you building?
And don't even think about it.
52
00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:11,421
This'll be great.
I got this vision
53
00:04:11,451 --> 00:04:13,857
that'll capture the real
spirit of the Taylor family,
54
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:15,158
just like we really are.
55
00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:17,727
Oh, Tim, these pictures
are going out to my family.
56
00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:20,925
I don't want them to know
who we really are.
57
00:04:22,294 --> 00:04:24,000
You're not sharing my vision.
58
00:04:24,030 --> 00:04:27,304
That is what makes
our marriage work.
59
00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:28,805
Could you just listen
to me, please?
60
00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:30,340
I'm thinking
of something simple.
61
00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:32,642
You know, decorating the tree,
hanging the tinsel,
62
00:04:32,672 --> 00:04:35,445
stringing popcorn,
that kind of stuff.
63
00:04:35,475 --> 00:04:38,348
- I was thinking the exact same thing.
- Oh.
64
00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:43,414
Except we'd be wearing costumes
at the North Pole.
65
00:04:45,717 --> 00:04:49,059
And the "exact same thing" part
would be what?
66
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:52,662
Wait. Hey, guys, guys, guys,
come here. Come here.
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00:04:52,692 --> 00:04:57,234
Which would you rather do for
this year's Christmas card photo?
68
00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:59,870
String popcorn, hang tinsel,
get around the tree,
69
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:03,206
or dress up
in real cool costumes
70
00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:06,910
and join me in Tim Taylor's
Christmas Village?
71
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:09,079
- They both sound stupid.
- I agree.
72
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:11,814
Me too.
73
00:05:11,844 --> 00:05:13,816
They'll come around.
Honey, come on.
74
00:05:13,846 --> 00:05:15,818
We can start a new tradition.
Think of the possibilities.
75
00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:17,954
This year, the Christmas Village.
Next year -
76
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:21,824
Manger on the Moon.
You'd be in a spacesuit.
77
00:05:21,854 --> 00:05:23,826
I don't wanna be on the moon.
78
00:05:23,856 --> 00:05:25,996
Besides, everybody knows
a spacesuit adds 20 lbs.
79
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:27,697
Oh, honey.
80
00:05:27,727 --> 00:05:30,033
Look, whatever happens,
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00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:31,701
if you don't like it
I guarantee you
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00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:34,704
we'll change it
and do it your way.
83
00:05:34,734 --> 00:05:38,574
You promise
you won't get carried away?
84
00:05:38,604 --> 00:05:40,438
Yes.
85
00:05:42,441 --> 00:05:43,808
OK.
86
00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:48,385
It'll be perfect,
and don't worry about anything.
87
00:05:48,415 --> 00:05:51,388
It'll be tasteful and simple.
88
00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:52,722
Hey. Ooh.
89
00:05:52,752 --> 00:05:55,719
I got a reindeer here
for a Tim Taylor.
90
00:06:00,059 --> 00:06:04,034
- Does everybody know what time it is?
- Tool Time!
91
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:06,036
That's right. Binford Tools
is proud to present
92
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:09,233
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor! Whoo!
93
00:06:13,472 --> 00:06:16,079
Thank you, Heidi.
94
00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:18,776
And welcome
to Tool Time's salute...
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00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:21,551
to bathrooms.
96
00:06:21,581 --> 00:06:23,086
Hi, I'm Tim "The Tool Man"
Taylor.
97
00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:24,587
You all know my assistant Al
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00:06:24,617 --> 00:06:28,319
"It's My Potty, I'll Cry
If I Want To" Borland.
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00:06:29,955 --> 00:06:32,162
You can't resist the bathroom
humor, can you, Tim?
100
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:35,498
Not during our salute...
101
00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:37,100
to bathrooms.
102
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:38,734
You remember last time
I was telling you
103
00:06:38,764 --> 00:06:41,204
how bathrooms have become
a woman's domain.
104
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,772
Well, not anymore,
since the crew and I
105
00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:44,841
designed and built
the bathroom for men only.
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00:06:44,871 --> 00:06:47,571
Guys, bring out my bathroom.
107
00:07:11,430 --> 00:07:14,704
The man's bathroom. 100%, you
guessed it, stainless steel.
108
00:07:14,734 --> 00:07:17,673
That's right.
A man's can. A John's john.
109
00:07:17,703 --> 00:07:20,810
This will be on every man's
Christmas list this year.
110
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,879
We're gonna take you through a
typical male day in the bathroom.
111
00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:25,181
Al, what's the first thing
you do when you get up?
112
00:07:25,211 --> 00:07:27,750
I say to myself, "Oh, boy,
another wonderful day
113
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:32,322
of working side by side
with Tim."
114
00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:34,457
What's the second thing
you do, Al?
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00:07:34,487 --> 00:07:37,860
I consider calling in sick.
116
00:07:37,890 --> 00:07:39,329
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
117
00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:41,431
Why don't we go
through my typical day then?
118
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:46,002
I get up, I scratch,
I get in the bathroom.
119
00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:48,390
First I wanna get rid of
that horrible morning breath.
120
00:07:48,421 --> 00:07:51,281
You got everything here you need.
You got your soap.
121
00:07:51,312 --> 00:07:54,238
You got a little bit
of your mouthwash.
122
00:07:55,740 --> 00:07:58,476
No, that's the soap.
That's the mouthwash.
123
00:08:01,547 --> 00:08:03,653
To get that deep-down,
manly dirt off,
124
00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:06,417
you gotta jump
in your multihead shower.
125
00:08:11,523 --> 00:08:13,729
Hop out, stand over
your built-in floor drain.
126
00:08:13,759 --> 00:08:16,260
Gotta get dry real quick.
127
00:08:21,533 --> 00:08:25,741
I'm dry. Well, ready to shave.
I can't shave in the dark.
128
00:08:25,771 --> 00:08:27,777
I'll need my trusty...
129
00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:29,879
headlights!
130
00:08:29,909 --> 00:08:34,178
Also useful in case a deer
wanders into your bathroom.
131
00:08:36,248 --> 00:08:39,984
For those pesky nose hairs,
you flip on your brights.
132
00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:49,832
All right, all right.
133
00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:53,002
Well... the bathroom
has everything,
134
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:57,635
including the brand-new
La-Z-Bowl reclining toilet.
135
00:09:10,249 --> 00:09:13,055
It's plush when you flush.
136
00:09:13,085 --> 00:09:15,525
And jukebox, phone and a rack
137
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,760
for your hot rod magazines
within easy reach.
138
00:09:17,790 --> 00:09:20,062
If there were
a refrigerator in here,
139
00:09:20,092 --> 00:09:22,532
you'd never have to leave.
140
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,229
Did you say "if"?
141
00:09:32,538 --> 00:09:34,944
- Brewski?
- You bet, buddy.
142
00:09:34,974 --> 00:09:36,979
Between the beer
and the bathroom,
143
00:09:37,009 --> 00:09:40,150
we call this
a male recycling center
144
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:43,186
Guys are going, "Jeez, Tim, you
spend so much time in the bathroom,
145
00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:45,021
you won't know what's going on
in the big game."
146
00:09:45,051 --> 00:09:47,652
Got it covered.
147
00:09:50,789 --> 00:09:52,728
Go, go, go, go!
148
00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:54,758
Touchdown!
149
00:10:10,775 --> 00:10:16,219
Man, once my friends see this
Christmas card, I'm dead.
150
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:20,423
- There's no way I'm wearing these ears.
- Me neither.
151
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,453
What?
152
00:10:24,189 --> 00:10:26,162
Dad can't make us do this.
153
00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:29,031
Yeah. I mean, you can't
make your kid be an elf.
154
00:10:29,061 --> 00:10:31,395
There's gotta be a law.
155
00:10:33,998 --> 00:10:37,240
Hey, Dad, we have something
to talk to you about.
156
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:38,802
Hey.
157
00:10:40,805 --> 00:10:43,446
Welcome to
Santa's Christmas Village.
158
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,881
- Dad, we don't wanna be elves.
- What?
159
00:10:45,911 --> 00:10:49,913
Yeah. We thought you said
we could all be Elvis.
160
00:10:51,516 --> 00:10:55,319
I can't believe this is the
outfit you chose for me.
161
00:11:00,359 --> 00:11:03,533
Mrs. Claus would never wear
anything this skimpy.
162
00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:05,335
Sure she would,
if Santa were out of town
163
00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:08,098
and Mr. Mountie was stopping by.
164
00:11:10,034 --> 00:11:12,575
I thought you said you were
gonna keep this simple.
165
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:14,410
It is simple. Guys, get
into position, please.
166
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:18,248
- Dad, we don't wanna do this.
- Oh, pipe down. Just one shot.
167
00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:20,149
Tim, look, you know,
Thanksgiving's tomorrow.
168
00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:22,285
I got pies in the oven,
a million things I gotta do.
169
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:26,256
Relax, all of you. Let me make a few tweaks
on my little snow-making machine here.
170
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:29,259
Why do we have to have snow?
Well, if there's no snow,
171
00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:30,926
people won't believe that we're
really in the North Pole.
172
00:11:30,956 --> 00:11:33,056
You are so deluded.
173
00:11:37,896 --> 00:11:41,404
- All right. You're all there? OK.
- Come on, Dad.
174
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:42,938
All right. Quiet! Big smiles.
175
00:11:42,968 --> 00:11:45,903
Get the ears on. Smiles.
Timer's on.
176
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:50,441
- Start the snow.
- All right.
177
00:11:52,611 --> 00:11:54,945
Hey, Dad, there's no snow.
178
00:12:11,496 --> 00:12:13,169
I'll just get
a new window in it.
179
00:12:13,199 --> 00:12:16,439
Where are you gonna get a pane of
glass the night before Thanksgiving?
180
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:18,974
There's plenty of 24-hour glass
places open on the holidays.
181
00:12:19,004 --> 00:12:21,277
Yeah, right.
182
00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:25,181
- What's that smell?
- Oh, gosh. It's my pies.
183
00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:27,211
Oh, no!
184
00:12:28,513 --> 00:12:30,453
Oh, Tim!
185
00:12:30,983 --> 00:12:33,356
You promised me this was gonna be simple.
Now look -
186
00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:37,020
I have burnt pies, a broken window
and a snow blower in my family room!
187
00:12:38,557 --> 00:12:42,332
You're not gonna let this
dampen your spirits, are you?
188
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:44,395
I am way past damp.
189
00:12:47,332 --> 00:12:49,706
Well, I'll just make a little adjustment.
We'll be back in business.
190
00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:51,974
No. Forget it.
You had your chance,
191
00:12:52,004 --> 00:12:55,712
you blew it - big surprise -
and now...
192
00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:57,980
it's my turn.
193
00:12:58,010 --> 00:13:00,916
Honey, honey, honey.
194
00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:03,786
It'll be great. We could make
Christmas card history here.
195
00:13:03,816 --> 00:13:07,189
Why can't you just ever
do anything on a small scale?
196
00:13:07,219 --> 00:13:09,687
I don't think that way.
197
00:13:10,622 --> 00:13:12,928
- Pick a number.
- What?
198
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:15,431
- Just pick a number.
- Seven.
199
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:19,235
See? I would've picked 13,000.
200
00:13:19,265 --> 00:13:22,572
Why? Because I think big.
201
00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:25,803
Can you burn the turkey
so it matches those pies?
202
00:13:32,911 --> 00:13:34,517
Mm, mm, mm, mm.
203
00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:36,519
What is that I smell?
204
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:39,822
Burnt pumpkin pie
with a touch of cinnamon...
205
00:13:39,852 --> 00:13:43,225
maybe a tad too much nutmeg?
206
00:13:43,255 --> 00:13:45,227
That is amazing. You can
smell that from over there?
207
00:13:45,257 --> 00:13:48,163
Oh, yes, indeedy, Tim. I inherited
my father's olfactory sense.
208
00:13:48,193 --> 00:13:50,165
Your dad has an old factory?
209
00:13:50,195 --> 00:13:53,403
No, Tim. I was referring
to my sense of smell.
210
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:55,247
What does that have to do
with your dad's old factory?
211
00:13:55,277 --> 00:13:56,530
Let it go, Tim.
212
00:13:57,936 --> 00:14:00,743
Do you have any use for a
slightly used Santa village?
213
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:05,047
Uh-oh.
Trouble in Santa's workshop?
214
00:14:05,077 --> 00:14:08,885
Mrs. Claus doesn't understand I'm
trying to do something groundbreaking.
215
00:14:08,915 --> 00:14:11,220
Mm-hmm. Well, I see you've already
done some window-breaking.
216
00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:15,241
Wilson, I break a lot of things
around here because I think big.
217
00:14:15,272 --> 00:14:16,659
I get these visions, I have
to carry them out. OK?
218
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:19,437
Oh, so you think of yourself
as a visionary,
219
00:14:19,468 --> 00:14:21,672
like Socrates or Marco Polo.
220
00:14:25,063 --> 00:14:28,270
But Jill thinks
I got double vision.
221
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:31,240
Well, to paraphrase Seneca,
the Roman moralist,
222
00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:35,238
there is a fine line
between genius and madness.
223
00:14:39,711 --> 00:14:41,951
Do you think
I've stepped over that line?
224
00:14:41,981 --> 00:14:43,619
Tim, why don't you ask me
that question
225
00:14:43,649 --> 00:14:47,022
when you're not wearing
that Mountie uniform?
226
00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:49,459
Oh, yeah.
That would be a good idea.
227
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:52,562
- I think you're overlooking something here.
- What?
228
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:56,398
The true vision is right there.
229
00:14:56,428 --> 00:14:58,835
An angry wife
with two burnt pies?
230
00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:02,371
No. No, Tim - a loving family.
231
00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:06,442
Yeah. Right as usual, Wilson.
232
00:15:06,472 --> 00:15:08,845
- Hey, hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- Yo.
233
00:15:08,875 --> 00:15:11,214
- Pick a number.
- Any number?
234
00:15:11,245 --> 00:15:14,149
- Any number.
- Well, off the top of my head,
235
00:15:14,179 --> 00:15:16,647
762 trillion.
236
00:15:25,323 --> 00:15:28,163
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
237
00:15:28,193 --> 00:15:30,967
Oh.
238
00:15:30,997 --> 00:15:32,635
I can't believe Al.
239
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:34,871
All he's done since we've got
here is watch football.
240
00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:37,874
Yeah, well, Tim's idea
of the perfect Thanksgiving
241
00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:39,609
would be to push a button
on the remote
242
00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:41,611
and have the turkey
pop out of it.
243
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:44,881
He's gone, he's gone! Go,
go, go, go, go, go, go!
244
00:15:44,911 --> 00:15:46,883
Oh.
245
00:15:46,913 --> 00:15:49,485
Tim, take the helmet off
and come to dinner.
246
00:15:49,515 --> 00:15:52,555
It's not over yet, honey.
We have two more minutes left.
247
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:56,859
- What's the score?
- Uh, 61 to three.
248
00:15:56,889 --> 00:16:00,630
- Guess what. It's over.
- Oh, honey!
249
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:03,733
- Come on, come on.
- All right, let's eat.
250
00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:05,735
Here you go.
You sit right there.
251
00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:07,637
Oh, boy, the table looks great.
252
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:09,639
- Smells great.
- Oh, yes.
253
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:11,407
Thank you.
254
00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:14,944
- Everything looks delicious.
- Hey, what are those?
255
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,947
Oh, these are the, um, mashed
rutabagas that Al brought.
256
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:21,150
Made from a very old
family recipe.
257
00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:24,286
Looks like you got 'em
from an old family.
258
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:26,422
I love the way you guys
tease each other.
259
00:16:26,452 --> 00:16:28,858
I'm not teasing him.
260
00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:31,636
Ilene is no slouch
in the humor department.
261
00:16:31,667 --> 00:16:34,229
Tell them that joke you
told me on the way over.
262
00:16:34,259 --> 00:16:36,933
Come on. We'd love to hear it.
263
00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:39,134
OK. What do you call
264
00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:41,837
a big white animal
that's shaped like a tooth?
265
00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:44,301
- What?
- A molar bear.
266
00:16:48,573 --> 00:16:51,508
- Stop.
- You are such a wacky-doodle.
267
00:17:00,619 --> 00:17:03,759
Uh... somebody pass me
the gravy, please.
268
00:17:03,789 --> 00:17:05,962
You gotta try Ilene's rolls.
They're homemade.
269
00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:08,197
Ooh, look at that turkey.
270
00:17:08,227 --> 00:17:11,567
Try my rutabagas.
Let me have some mashed potatoes.
271
00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:15,504
Try the rutabagas.
I put sugar in them this year.
272
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:19,075
- Can I have some of this, please?
- One spoonful.
273
00:17:19,105 --> 00:17:21,543
All right.
274
00:17:21,573 --> 00:17:25,475
- I need the rutabagas.
- All I need is some gravy. I didn't get...
275
00:17:26,945 --> 00:17:29,952
Ah. I think before we eat,
276
00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:32,855
we should all think of something
that we're thankful for.
277
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:34,857
Oh, that's a great idea.
278
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,660
Al, you wanna go first?
279
00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:39,895
All right. Uh...
280
00:17:39,925 --> 00:17:43,827
Well, I'm... I'm thankful that
I have such wonderful friends.
281
00:17:45,163 --> 00:17:47,469
And I'm... I'm thankful
282
00:17:47,499 --> 00:17:49,972
that I have such
a wonderful, special person
283
00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:53,475
to spend Thanksgiving with.
284
00:17:53,505 --> 00:17:55,845
Well, I'm thankful that I have
such a wonderful place
285
00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:57,880
to come to on Thanksgiving,
286
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:01,872
and I'm thankful to Jill
for introducing me to Al.
287
00:18:01,903 --> 00:18:04,086
That's sweet. That's nice. Brad?
288
00:18:04,116 --> 00:18:05,921
Al, a tender,
289
00:18:05,951 --> 00:18:09,058
warm and gentle man
290
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,894
who always puts my needs
above his own.
291
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,030
Oh, that's great.
Brad, I think your mom wants...
292
00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:17,366
A man whose quiet confidence
293
00:18:17,396 --> 00:18:20,136
and heroic vulnerability
294
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:23,405
inspire me
to be a better person.
295
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:24,974
It's my turn.
296
00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:27,977
I'm thankful that Ilene's
finished with her tribute to Al.
297
00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:30,813
Ow!
298
00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:34,050
And I'm thankful that Brad
said that instead of me.
299
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,085
Ow!
300
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:40,990
I'm thankful you guys are kicking
Brad and Randy instead of me.
301
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:43,059
Well...
302
00:18:43,089 --> 00:18:45,995
That was very touching, boys.
303
00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:47,963
Can I go next? Can I go next?
304
00:18:47,993 --> 00:18:50,132
I am thankful
for many things in my life.
305
00:18:50,162 --> 00:18:53,102
My family, my friends...
306
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,770
my hot rod,
307
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,807
267 power tools that I own.
308
00:18:57,837 --> 00:18:59,709
I know I get carried away
sometimes,
309
00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:01,643
like my fellow visionary
Marco Polo,
310
00:19:01,673 --> 00:19:04,413
who we all know
invented the sport shirt.
311
00:19:04,443 --> 00:19:07,683
But, unlike Marco Polo, I have
something he does not have.
312
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:12,654
I have the best, most
understanding wife in the world,
313
00:19:12,684 --> 00:19:15,352
Jill.
314
00:19:19,224 --> 00:19:22,598
Well, um, OK.
315
00:19:22,628 --> 00:19:24,967
I'm thankful for good friends,
316
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,636
for my children,
317
00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:31,240
for a husband who never ceases
to amaze and surprise me,
318
00:19:31,270 --> 00:19:35,611
a man who's blown out
every window in the house,
319
00:19:35,641 --> 00:19:37,947
frozen his tongue to a hammer,
320
00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:41,650
fallen off the roof,
through the roof,
321
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,887
hung upside down from the roof,
322
00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:47,223
and in spite of
all these things,
323
00:19:47,253 --> 00:19:52,561
or maybe even because of them,
324
00:19:52,591 --> 00:19:55,197
I love him more today
325
00:19:55,227 --> 00:19:58,695
than I did the day
I married him.
326
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,668
Would somebody hold me?
327
00:20:16,915 --> 00:20:20,322
- All right, I'm all ready. Come on.
- OK.
328
00:20:20,352 --> 00:20:22,000
You're OK with this?
329
00:20:22,031 --> 00:20:23,192
Oh, yeah, yeah. It's
a perfect compromise.
330
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:26,395
Your winter wonderland,
my little bit of dignity...
331
00:20:26,425 --> 00:20:29,331
OK, Al, I'm all set.
Uh, camera's loaded.
332
00:20:29,361 --> 00:20:32,287
Boys are in position.
Come on, look up straight.
333
00:20:32,318 --> 00:20:35,353
I added more touch, added more snow for
the roof there. How does that look?
334
00:20:35,384 --> 00:20:39,508
Oh, that's... that's an
awful lot of snow, Tim.
335
00:20:39,538 --> 00:20:42,511
- That's 'cause I think big, Al
- It looks beautiful.
336
00:20:42,541 --> 00:20:44,369
Thanks, Ilene.
Al, you wanna do the honors?
337
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:45,014
No.
338
00:20:45,044 --> 00:20:47,610
- Come on.
- I'm just kidding.
339
00:20:51,115 --> 00:20:52,788
So much for the dignity.
340
00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:55,691
There's still time for you to
slip into that Mrs. Claus outfit.
341
00:20:55,721 --> 00:20:59,461
Later.
342
00:20:59,491 --> 00:21:01,563
- Is this where you're gonna stand?
- Yeah.
343
00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:03,732
Get the snow in front. Make sure
the kids are looking ahead.
344
00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:06,035
OK, I got it.
All right, I'm gonna count to three.
345
00:21:06,065 --> 00:21:08,070
One,
346
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,738
two...
347
00:21:09,768 --> 00:21:12,174
- Do you want that door open?
- No.
348
00:21:12,204 --> 00:21:14,537
Three.
349
00:21:32,957 --> 00:21:35,859
Let's take one more
just to make sure.
350
00:21:46,470 --> 00:21:50,212
- This is the life, huh, Al?
- I think so, Tim.
351
00:21:50,242 --> 00:21:53,277
Nothing like a bowl game
on the bowl, huh?
352
00:21:56,214 --> 00:21:58,292
You know, I'm still
a little hungry.
353
00:21:58,323 --> 00:22:00,573
No junk food. Let's order in.
354
00:22:00,604 --> 00:22:02,024
Mexican, Chinese,
what do you want?
355
00:22:02,054 --> 00:22:03,825
Oh, nothing too spicy.
356
00:22:03,855 --> 00:22:06,890
Al, I think you're
forgetting where you are.
357
00:22:10,929 --> 00:22:13,235
You're right.
Let's go a little crazy.
358
00:22:13,265 --> 00:22:16,171
How about a pizza
with sausage and chili?
359
00:22:16,201 --> 00:22:19,336
All right, buddy.
360
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,545
Auto-dial.
361
00:22:23,575 --> 00:22:26,015
Yeah, Tony's. This is Tim
over here at Tool Time.
362
00:22:26,045 --> 00:22:30,344
We need a big pizza.
Chili, anchovies...
363
00:22:30,375 --> 00:22:31,653
- Half.
- Half anchovies.
364
00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:34,323
We're not upstairs in the office, though.
Come down to the...
365
00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:37,092
We're actually
in the bathroom. Yeah.
366
00:22:37,122 --> 00:22:40,329
What? Hello?
367
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:43,332
We're gonna have to
go pick it up, I think.
368
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:46,135
Is that a smudge on that TV?
369
00:22:46,165 --> 00:22:49,313
- Yes, I believe it is.
- Not anymore.
370
00:22:56,140 --> 00:22:57,975
Yes!
371
00:23:01,179 --> 00:23:03,152
Honey, great news.
372
00:23:03,182 --> 00:23:05,849
The lumber was delivered...
373
00:23:16,527 --> 00:23:19,501
I walked by the lumberyard
today and I had a vision.
374
00:23:19,531 --> 00:23:21,870
You get a vision every time
you go by the lumberyard.
375
00:23:21,900 --> 00:23:23,867
That's why when I in the...
when I'm in the car...
375
00:23:24,305 --> 00:23:30,925
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