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1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:11,045
[typing sounds]
2
00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:20,754
Meow.
3
00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:23,724
* Deck the halls
with boughs of holly, *
4
00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:26,594
* fa la la la la la
la la la... *
5
00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:32,466
* This the season to be jolly, *
6
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:34,735
* Don we now our...
7
00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:36,404
Mmm, no.
8
00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:38,206
That song makes my tail hurt.
9
00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:39,240
Deck the halls?
10
00:00:39,273 --> 00:00:48,082
Deck me in the face.
11
00:00:48,116 --> 00:00:49,517
* I want a hippop
Now that's a Christmas song.
12
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:52,286
Hello, hi, how are you?
13
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,722
Welcome to Grumpy Cat's
Worst Christmas Ever.
14
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:56,624
The movie.
15
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,192
You don't have to watch it
16
00:00:58,226 --> 00:01:00,628
but I know you're going to, so.
17
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:03,464
If you do you might
be treated to
18
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:06,234
high speed car chases.
19
00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:07,301
[sirens wailing]
20
00:01:07,335 --> 00:01:08,369
Meow, meow!
21
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:09,770
Out of my way buddy!!
22
00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:10,504
Pull over, Grumpy!!
23
00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:12,806
We've got you surrounded.
24
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:15,276
Huge explosions.
25
00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:17,278
Boom.
26
00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:18,612
Bang.
27
00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:20,448
That was huge.
28
00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:23,884
A hero in a leotard and cape
who saves the world.
29
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,686
And who doesn't look like
a puppet.
30
00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:30,591
At all.
31
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:34,362
* Anyway, I only mention those
things to get your hopes up.
32
00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:36,730
That way I can enjoy
your disappointment
33
00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:40,701
when you realize this movie
is just a sappy melodrama
34
00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:44,472
mostly about me, Grumpy Cat.
35
00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:54,548
You're welcome.
36
00:01:54,548 --> 00:02:04,558
You're welcome.
37
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
38
00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:30,484
God, this is already annoying.
39
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:33,721
Anyway, our terrible story
begins here.
40
00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:37,825
At this big thing called a mall.
41
00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:40,928
It's a soul sucking bastion
of consumerism
42
00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:44,198
which serves to drain people's
bank accounts
43
00:02:44,232 --> 00:02:47,401
and alienate them from
the true meaning of life.
44
00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:49,670
In other words I love it.
45
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:51,339
Look at me, see?
46
00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:52,740
See? Can't you tell
that I love it?
47
00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:54,542
I love it because it's evil,
okay?
48
00:02:57,378 --> 00:02:58,946
This is where I call home.
49
00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:12,726
Customer!
50
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:13,461
Customer!
51
00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:14,262
Customer!
52
00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:15,429
Choose me!
Choose me!
53
00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:16,664
I never get chosen.
54
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:17,931
Grovelers.
55
00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:19,733
They all think some human
is going to walk in here
56
00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:21,835
and purchase one of them.
57
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:22,936
Ha!
58
00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:25,639
Welcome to Whiskers,
where the animals don't bite...
59
00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:27,275
Unless provoked.
60
00:03:27,308 --> 00:03:28,676
Humph!!!
61
00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:31,912
Over here, pick me!
62
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:34,615
Don't buy into the hype
about snakes!
63
00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:35,616
That's Carla.
64
00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:37,618
The happiest snake
on the planet.
65
00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:40,721
So, you know,
already not a big fan.
66
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,590
I am totally cool, promise.
67
00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:43,424
Hey lady!
68
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:44,592
Over here!
69
00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:45,793
I'm cuter!
70
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:48,296
Plus I chew chair legs,
shoes, leather purses.
71
00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:49,997
Darn, almost had her.
72
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:51,532
That's Jacky.
73
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,867
He's super hyper
and super annoying,
74
00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:56,470
plus he's a dog, so...
75
00:03:56,504 --> 00:03:58,005
I don't like him.
76
00:03:58,038 --> 00:03:59,973
You can ignore them, madam.
77
00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:02,410
I'm well bred and well read.
78
00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:03,811
I can even talk.
79
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,513
Hands in the air, sucker!
80
00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:07,281
So, that's Wilson.
81
00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:08,582
A very stupid parrot.
82
00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:11,785
Oh, did I mention that
I'm easy to clean up after?
83
00:04:11,819 --> 00:04:14,622
All I require is a newspaper
subscription for the mess
84
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,357
I make in my cage.
85
00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:17,791
Wait, where are you going?
86
00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:19,327
Oh drat.
87
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:20,728
Not going to happen, people.
88
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:21,929
We're all going to die in here.
89
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:24,398
Hey, check out this spin class
of one, lady!
90
00:04:24,432 --> 00:04:25,833
See these hamster hamstrings?
91
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:28,636
They're like sinewy
pistons of steel.
92
00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:29,837
That's Lance.
93
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:32,940
He looks like a rat but
I guess he's a gerbil,
94
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:35,309
a gym rat gerbil.
95
00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:36,744
Woo, work it down, work it up!
96
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:37,945
Take it up, work it back!
97
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,313
Work it down, work it up!
98
00:04:39,347 --> 00:04:40,781
Take it up, work it back!
99
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:42,516
Me, I don't want to leave.
100
00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:44,885
I'm grumpy right where I am.
101
00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:48,055
Better not to get your hopes up.
102
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:50,424
Told you, she's just buying
fish food.
103
00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:52,460
Grumpy, you are a jerk.
104
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:54,528
And you, honey, are delusional.
105
00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:57,465
At least we weren't returned
twice like you, Grumpy.
106
00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:58,732
Twice.
107
00:04:58,766 --> 00:05:00,334
All she does is frown.
108
00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:01,802
And all he does is whine
about it,
109
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:02,936
am I right mom?
110
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:06,774
She does seem a little grumpy.
111
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:09,610
Can I trade her for a fish?
112
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,044
As if that bothered me.
113
00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:13,347
I never even think
about those people.
114
00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:14,648
I'm a superstar.
115
00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:21,789
*
116
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:25,793
Super model, super dog,
super hair, super fur.
117
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:29,730
*
118
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:32,700
Oh, I just love me.
119
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:33,667
What the heck are you?
120
00:05:33,701 --> 00:05:35,769
A science experiment gone bad?
121
00:05:35,803 --> 00:05:38,071
More like a science
experiment gone right.
122
00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:41,875
Check out my beautiful locks,
they flow like a waterfall.
123
00:05:41,909 --> 00:05:43,511
Woosh!!
124
00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:45,379
Freak.
125
00:05:45,413 --> 00:05:46,013
Customer!
126
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:47,047
Customer!
127
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,082
I'm available!
128
00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:50,050
Customer, over here!
129
00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:52,386
Choose me, choose me!!
130
00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:54,555
Hi, you must be Marcus.
131
00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:56,056
I'm Gill Brockman,
your new mall rep.
132
00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:57,324
What can I do for you?
133
00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:00,394
There's just the small matter
of your rent being in arrears,
134
00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:01,762
deadbeat.
135
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:04,965
Uh, did you just call me
a deadbeat?
136
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:06,800
Deadbeat? No, of course not.
137
00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:09,002
[chuckles]
138
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,671
Loser.
139
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,540
Okay, now I heard you
call me a loser.
140
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:13,807
Why would I call you that?
141
00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:15,476
I don't know.
142
00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:17,711
Because you haven't met
your financial obligations
143
00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:20,013
in a timely manner and
I'm going to evict you?
144
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,248
Wait, what?
145
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:23,617
Are you saying I could lose
my terrible home?
146
00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:25,619
Gill, I can assure you
I will have your money
147
00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:26,887
by the day after tomorrow.
148
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,456
Thank you, Marcus.
149
00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:29,623
You're a saviour.
150
00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:34,695
You are seriously behind,
how do you plan to do that?
151
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:35,763
You see this cat?
152
00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:36,830
Who, me?
153
00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:38,165
I plan to make her the most
famous internet meme
154
00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:39,767
of all time.
155
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,636
Work it, show me sexy.
156
00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:44,638
Now show me danger,
just like that.
157
00:06:44,672 --> 00:06:46,540
Show me fierce.
158
00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:47,775
Jubilation.
159
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:48,842
Overjoyed.
160
00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:51,779
You're a little girl
on a spring day.
161
00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:53,180
Sushi.
162
00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:56,850
Lots of sushi.
163
00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:58,051
I'm a natural.
164
00:06:58,085 --> 00:07:00,488
All we need is a picture of
Grumpy saying something like
165
00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:02,823
uh I had fun once, it was awful.
166
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:03,824
[laughs]
167
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:05,092
I mean, you put that on
the internet thingamabob
168
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:06,660
and that is sure to go viral.
169
00:07:06,694 --> 00:07:08,529
Her face will launch
a thousand products.
170
00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:09,930
Everything from t-shirts
to coffee mugs.
171
00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:16,470
After that, TV appearances
and oh, I don't know, maybe
172
00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:19,139
a Lifetime movie.
173
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,241
You are a genius!
174
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,043
Like any of that would
really happen.
175
00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,845
Me? Become an internet
celebrity?
176
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:26,814
I mean, wouldn't I need
to have some sort of talent
177
00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:28,015
like this guy?
178
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:33,153
*
179
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:36,089
Or this weirdo?
180
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:39,026
Or whatever this is?
181
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:41,028
Yeah, I can't do any
of that stuff.
182
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:43,931
So, I'm revising the previous
scene, okay?
183
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:49,503
You are seriously behind,
how do you plan to do that?
184
00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:51,204
With this dog.
185
00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:52,506
Hi there.
186
00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:54,041
Oh, is that what you are.
187
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:56,510
He just happens to be the
most expensive Leonberger
188
00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:57,678
in the world.
189
00:07:57,711 --> 00:07:59,547
Let that sink in, kitty cat.
190
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:01,281
Someone would actually
pay for you?
191
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,883
He's worth a million dollars,
whoops.
192
00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:04,151
Shut the front door.
193
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:05,619
Shut the back door too.
194
00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:06,854
Shut all the doors.
195
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:08,889
A million? Really?
196
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,290
With an M?
197
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:13,060
That sounds like a MacGuffin
to me, whatever that means.
198
00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:14,595
I call that a bargain.
199
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:16,897
I should be worth a billion,
with a B.
200
00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:17,831
Buh.
201
00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:18,699
I've got a buyer and guess
what that money
202
00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:21,301
is going to put me back
in the black.
203
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,270
[air guitar sounds]
204
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:24,538
Why didn't you say that
in the first place?
205
00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:28,308
I think the words you're
looking for are thank you.
206
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,509
Yeah, the press are coming
by this afternoon
207
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:34,548
and they're doing a big story
on how he saved Whiskers.
208
00:08:34,582 --> 00:08:35,515
Yeah.
209
00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:38,285
Then I guess we have nothing
else to discuss.
210
00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:39,252
Too de loo.
211
00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:40,654
Merry Christmas!
212
00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:42,055
Loser.
213
00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:43,190
What did you say?
214
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:44,257
What did I say?
215
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:46,827
Merry Christmas, sir.
216
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,128
Merry Christmas.
217
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,001
Deadbeat.
218
00:08:57,905 --> 00:09:00,007
Um, we didn't formally meet.
219
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:00,774
I'm Jo-Jo.
220
00:09:00,808 --> 00:09:03,276
Oh, my name is I don't care.
221
00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:06,013
Oh, yes.
222
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:09,950
Wait a minute, that thing
gets the prime real estate?
223
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:12,019
Oh, this is where I belong.
224
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:14,655
In the spotlight for all to see.
225
00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:16,189
Go ahead, feel free
to take photos.
226
00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:17,190
Selfies are extra.
227
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,792
What am I, tuna tartare?
228
00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:20,227
I've never had that spot.
229
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:21,662
And I've been here the longest!
230
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:23,831
Maybe it's because
you don't smile.
231
00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:25,966
Brat.
232
00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:28,969
Time to meet our awful
movie's heroine.
233
00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,370
There she is, look at her.
234
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,172
Hahaha!
235
00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:34,074
With second billing behind me,
236
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:37,210
Aubrey Plaza as Grumpy Cat.
237
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,179
This is Crystal.
238
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:42,249
Humanity's last hope
on a dying planet.
239
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:44,384
Oh, I'm sorry, too much?
240
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:48,055
Alright, she's an evolved
organism with a heart of gold.
241
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:51,124
My least favourite trait
but facts are facts.
242
00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:54,094
And this story is nothing
if not factual.
243
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:57,831
You know, like Santa Claus.
244
00:09:57,865 --> 00:09:58,866
Hey Roger!
245
00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:01,835
Hello Crystal!
246
00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:02,736
You're fat.
247
00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:04,337
You're not exactly anorexic.
248
00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:07,040
Ho, ho, ho, ho.
249
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:08,375
Yo Mat, what's up?
250
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:09,810
Living the dream.
251
00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:10,878
Hey Monica.
252
00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:12,680
Hey Crystal, how was
school today?
253
00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:14,948
[raspberry]
254
00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:16,349
Ola, Alejandro.
255
00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:18,051
Como estas?
256
00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:19,219
Feliz Navidad!
257
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,159
Here's your turkey and swiss,
Wiffledorf.
258
00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:29,797
I will be Jesse again in a few
hours when I get off work.
259
00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:33,066
Oh, you'll always be Wiffledorf
to me.
260
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:34,001
Ouch.
261
00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:36,203
Speaking of which my feet
are killing me.
262
00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:37,905
Any chance you can use
your in with Santa
263
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,973
to get mama a new pair of shoes
for Christmas?
264
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:43,143
Blah, blah, blah, b-story,
not my line, not my line,
265
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:44,244
not my line.
266
00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:45,478
Meow.
267
00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:48,181
I would but Santa and I are
not on speaking terms right now.
268
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:49,116
What? Why?
269
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,183
Guy's a slave driver.
270
00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:51,184
Always on our backs.
271
00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:53,120
You would not believe
the working conditions.
272
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:53,987
Really?
273
00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:55,756
Two words. Sweat shop.
274
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:58,826
So, I've actually led a revolt
to unionize the North Pole.
275
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,227
Will you get it worked out
before Christmas?
276
00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:02,696
I hope so.
277
00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:03,897
For the tots.
278
00:11:03,931 --> 00:11:05,966
Dude, are you ever going
to eat that sandwich?
279
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,334
Mmm, is that turkey?
280
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:09,236
But that's not to say that
a certain little elf
281
00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:12,105
wouldn't love to build you a
new pair while he's on strike.
282
00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:13,206
Be careful flirting with me.
283
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:14,407
Last time that happened it ended
284
00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:17,010
in a spectacularly
awful divorce.
285
00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:18,211
Huh.
286
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:23,083
Have you given any more thought
to the party tonight?
287
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:24,351
Everyone's coming.
288
00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:26,053
You mean, like the other elves?
289
00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:27,420
The Cinnabon crew?
290
00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:28,856
That's exactly who I mean.
291
00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:30,924
All the cool kids.
292
00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:33,794
Come on, stupid Christmas games,
ugly sweater contest.
293
00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:36,396
Oh, just say yes already mom.
294
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:39,232
The poor guy's been trying
to ask you out for a month.
295
00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:44,204
Alright.
296
00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:45,072
Yes!
297
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:46,106
I'll go.
298
00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:47,908
But only if you come with me.
299
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:48,842
Ulgh!
300
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:52,479
Fine.
301
00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:56,083
But don't try and pull anything,
I'll be watching.
302
00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:56,884
Crystal.
303
00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:58,318
I've got to go I'm late
for work.
304
00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:00,053
Hang on.
305
00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:03,223
We talked about you making
some friends at your new school.
306
00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:04,491
How's that going?
307
00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:08,095
Great, today I totally nodded to
the girls locker next to mine.
308
00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:09,129
Does that count?
309
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:11,131
Totally try harder.
310
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:13,867
Okay. Can I go now?
311
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:18,806
Isn't she a little young
to have a job?
312
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:19,973
Oh, that's just
what she calls it.
313
00:12:20,007 --> 00:12:21,809
She's helping out
at the pet store.
314
00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:23,510
I just wish she hung out
with some actual people
315
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:25,012
for a change you know.
316
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:26,947
One's her own age preferably.
317
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:29,549
Probably just needs time.
318
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:33,020
This will be her first Christmas
without seeing her dad.
319
00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:34,988
Ah.
320
00:12:35,022 --> 00:12:37,224
The dirtbag.
321
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:40,127
Don't forget your sweater.
322
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,061
Meow.
323
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:45,398
Oh yeah, when I smell it it
makes me feel like
324
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,000
I'm actually in Paris.
325
00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:49,202
It's our most popular seller.
326
00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:51,071
And then there's George.
327
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:54,474
AKA the Ladykiller.
328
00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:59,947
Well, if only I had a special
lady friend to give it to I...
329
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:03,283
Hey, did you hear about
my latest bust?
330
00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:04,484
No, sorry.
331
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:05,819
What, are you kidding?
332
00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:07,187
Everyone's talking about it!
333
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,521
Oh yeah, the perp was 14
but he was big.
334
00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:10,457
I mean, he had you know
man muscles.
335
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:14,027
Obviously he pumped iron,
of course so do I.
336
00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:16,429
Anyway, something about his
behaviour didn't add up
337
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:19,499
he was lingering around the
fancy jean section too long
338
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:21,869
and between you and me he
didn't look like the kind of kid
339
00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,370
who could afford them.
340
00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:24,938
Is that profiling?
341
00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:26,139
Well, maybe. Did it
work this time?
342
00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:27,307
You bet your butt it did.
343
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:28,508
Well, the minute those
jeans went
344
00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:29,776
into the knapsack it was on.
345
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:33,146
I mean, he tried to get away but
obviously I'm pretty agile so.
346
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:37,384
George, thanks for visiting
but I need to take my break.
347
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:38,318
Oh yeah.
348
00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:39,386
Oh, sure of course hey man
349
00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:40,921
you've been on your
feet all day.
350
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,856
I'll go prevent some crime.
351
00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:44,858
Okay. Okay.
352
00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:47,194
No rascal today, George?
353
00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:49,129
Hey, Crystal.
354
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:52,565
How many times have I told you
it is an ARV
355
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:54,968
or for those people not
in the biz,
356
00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:58,171
(Both): Asset Recovery Vehicle.
357
00:13:58,205 --> 00:14:00,908
But don't you need it
to chase bad guys?
358
00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:02,575
I'm leveling the playing field.
359
00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:04,912
Let them think they have
a chance.
360
00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,113
But we know they don't!
361
00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:07,847
That's right.
362
00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:14,621
* You want that money baby,
363
00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,523
* that's right you know
who got it. *
364
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:20,493
* Got so much money baby,
can't even close my wallet. *
365
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,462
* Hanging on Sunset daily
366
00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:24,965
* yeah I can take
you shopping... *
367
00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:26,333
Hi!
368
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:27,367
I'm Crystal.
369
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,969
We have fifth period together?
370
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:31,038
So?
371
00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:32,472
Well, I was thinking we
could maybe put together
372
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:33,974
like a study group or something.
373
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:35,242
It could be a lot of fun.
374
00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:36,576
Yeah, that sounds awesome.
375
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:39,179
I'll definitely RSVP no to that.
376
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,281
Do we look like
a bunch of nerds?
377
00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:42,415
What a dork.
378
00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:45,185
As if we actually need
to get smarter.
379
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,653
Ah, the youth.
380
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:49,356
They'd better hope
to marry rich.
381
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,058
And then there's Zach and Donny,
382
00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:52,993
the future of our great country.
383
00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:54,127
Think she'll like it, Zach?
384
00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:56,029
As if you value my opinion.
385
00:14:56,063 --> 00:14:58,131
God help us all.
386
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,535
It's band issues.
387
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:05,305
It's nice, I just can't have
the fiancee of Dragon Tail's
388
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:09,076
lead singer wearing
something so...
389
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:10,143
Dainty?
390
00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:11,244
Yeah, dainty.
391
00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:12,412
Dainty!
392
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:17,017
Show me the biggest rock
you got.
393
00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:20,253
We did just sign a major
recording contract.
394
00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:21,554
* You know you want it!
395
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:23,190
* You know I got it!
396
00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:25,092
* This ain't no -
397
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,127
Dude! We're in the middle
of a thing!
398
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:28,495
Oh, you don't like my singing?
399
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:29,596
Surprise, surprise.
400
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:30,730
Now is really not the time,
Zach.
401
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,432
I have just the thing.
402
00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:34,367
And it's big.
403
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:41,108
It's 8,000.
404
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:43,276
That's it?
405
00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:45,412
Well, we're not exactly
Tiffany's.
406
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:55,688
Dude, what is
with all the angst?
407
00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:58,158
I wanted to be the one
pretending to get married.
408
00:15:58,191 --> 00:15:59,526
But everything has
to be your way,
409
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:01,694
just like what songs we sing
in the garage.
410
00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:04,331
Because I'm the frontman
with the golden voice.
411
00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:06,666
* Yeah!
412
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:09,602
And you're the bass player
with the fat fingers.
413
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,271
I do not have fat fingers.
414
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,672
Anybody can do this.
415
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:13,706
Oh, that's me?
416
00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:14,941
Oh, you're doing me right now?
417
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:18,111
Oh, yeah well no one shreds
killer base solos the way I do.
418
00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:19,079
Pow!
419
00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:20,180
* Boom, boom, boom, boom!
420
00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:22,082
* Boom boom!
421
00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:24,284
* Yeah!
422
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:28,155
* What!
423
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:30,423
Never mind.
424
00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:31,591
Good luck trying to find someone
425
00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,726
who can do that on our
upcoming tour.
426
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:34,694
Hello.
427
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:35,895
There's not going to be a tour.
428
00:16:35,928 --> 00:16:37,464
We hit that jewelry store
we're looking at 50 G's tops.
429
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,099
You can't get a bus with that.
430
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:40,333
Well, how are we going to bring
our music
431
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:41,368
to our audiences?
432
00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:43,636
Did you ever in your wildest
imagination think
433
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:46,506
that a dog would be worth
one million dollars?
434
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:50,443
Well, a Leonberger this rare
and with championship bloodlines
435
00:16:50,477 --> 00:16:53,413
well that makes it truly
one of a kind.
436
00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:57,317
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
437
00:16:57,350 --> 00:17:03,156
Yeah, that's one trippy
looking dog.
438
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:04,257
Hey, want to see him run?
439
00:17:04,291 --> 00:17:05,492
Oh, we'd love to see him run.
440
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:06,726
Come on.
441
00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:09,796
There you go folks, this is
a million dollars running down
442
00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:11,164
a hallway.
443
00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:31,684
Meanwhile, Crystal found herself
wandering amid the shoppers,
444
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:34,787
past the kiosks, hoping to make
sense of what it is
445
00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:38,791
to be a little girl who though
gentle and kind to all
446
00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:41,328
is shunned by her peers.
447
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:44,164
I think somebody could use
a caramel machiatto
448
00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:45,765
with extra whip.
449
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:52,305
[sighs]
450
00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:55,175
Well, that sounded like
the weight of the world.
451
00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:56,276
You're not Roger.
452
00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:57,544
What gave it away?
453
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:03,783
I know, I'm just filling in for
him while he picks up his mom
454
00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:05,318
from the airport.
455
00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:07,554
The sleighs in the shop.
456
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,590
I usually work Westbrook
Mall but you know,
457
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:12,759
us Santa's try and help
each other out.
458
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:14,527
Well, it's nice to know that
you Santa's of the world
459
00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:16,796
are still decent to your fellow
human beings.
460
00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:18,798
Wow, that's depressing.
461
00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:22,135
Where's your Christmas spirit?
462
00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:24,337
Some people are mean
for no reason.
463
00:18:24,371 --> 00:18:26,606
And they get a lump of coal
in their stocking.
464
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:29,142
Luckily, people like you get
special compensation
465
00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:32,512
from people like me
this time of year.
466
00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:34,781
Is that chocolate?
467
00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:37,584
No, are you kidding me?
468
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,552
That's a magical Christmas coin.
469
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:42,822
I hand them out to people
who would otherwise
470
00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:44,857
have a crappy Christmas.
471
00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:50,630
I buy them online from
magicalchristmascoins.co.uk/canz.com
472
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:56,736
Because this is so much better
than a sweet computer.
473
00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:57,704
Yes.
474
00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:58,571
Or a bike?
475
00:18:58,605 --> 00:18:59,739
That is correct.
476
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:00,840
Or anything?
477
00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:02,742
Duh. Infinitely better.
478
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:05,245
Look. Make a Christmas wish.
479
00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:09,249
All you do is you make a wish
and you toss it into a fountain.
480
00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:10,417
Any fountain will do.
481
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:12,619
You could use a toilet bowl
in a pinch.
482
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,521
Does that work?
483
00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:15,655
Yeah, it's a wishing well.
484
00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:18,725
Should work just fine.
485
00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,793
Thanks but I don't really...
486
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:23,763
Believe in mall Santa Claus's?
487
00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:25,632
That's not to say that I judge
you for wanting
488
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,634
to make a little extra money
over the holidays.
489
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,969
Look, you don't have
to believe in me
490
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,271
but what you do have to do is
491
00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:33,406
put your wish out
into the universe.
492
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,775
You can't claim it
if you can't name it!
493
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:37,710
I got that from
the Easter Bunny.
494
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:39,679
Or is it Tooth Fairy?
495
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:41,548
Whatever, it was
at a convention.
496
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:44,984
Anyway, what do you say,
Crystal?
497
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,287
How did you know my name?
498
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,888
Lets just say your name's
on the list.
499
00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:51,691
Did Jesse put you up to this?
500
00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:55,862
Look, wish first then coin.
501
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:58,231
That's what it says in
the instruction booklet.
502
00:19:58,265 --> 00:20:00,333
Oh, and if your wish rhymes
503
00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:02,702
you get extra Christmas mojo.
504
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:03,970
That's really corny.
505
00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:05,438
Corny's good.
506
00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:07,440
Corny's my stock and trade.
507
00:20:07,474 --> 00:20:09,442
I do corny very well.
508
00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:13,346
Just give it a try.
509
00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:14,847
You do realize this is just
a little girl
510
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:16,849
humouring an old man right?
511
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:20,720
That's awesome.
512
00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:22,989
For my Christmas wish I wish...
513
00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:25,592
I wish I'd meet a friend,
514
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:30,229
one who listens to me
and on whom I can depend.
515
00:20:33,533 --> 00:20:35,302
Happy?
516
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,804
Santa dude?
517
00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:44,711
I can see you right there.
518
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,045
No you can't.
519
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:46,946
Yes I can.
520
00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:48,515
No, it's not me.
521
00:20:48,548 --> 00:20:49,849
I'm magical.
522
00:20:49,882 --> 00:20:51,551
Dumb.
523
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:54,987
Never works.
524
00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:10,370
Customer! Customer!
525
00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:11,971
Customer!
526
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:13,540
Bird for sale!
527
00:21:13,573 --> 00:21:14,807
Customer!
528
00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:19,579
Hey Grumpy.
529
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:21,514
Hey hey, I like those
boots girl.
530
00:21:21,548 --> 00:21:23,916
Yeah, you looking good.
531
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,021
Oh, very funny Corben.
532
00:21:29,055 --> 00:21:30,256
Oh, hey Crystal.
533
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,725
Yeah, he's here for the rest
of the week folks so come on by.
534
00:21:32,759 --> 00:21:34,927
I've got a really big sale
on hamsters and snakes,
535
00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:36,463
although not necessarily
together though
536
00:21:36,496 --> 00:21:38,798
because that would be bad
for the hamster.
537
00:21:38,831 --> 00:21:41,033
You wouldn't really eat me,
would you Carla?
538
00:21:41,067 --> 00:21:42,335
But of course not.
539
00:21:42,369 --> 00:21:43,736
I am a gopher snake.
540
00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:45,638
You look nothing like a gopher.
541
00:21:45,672 --> 00:21:46,906
Really?
542
00:21:46,939 --> 00:21:49,742
Phew, that's good to know.
543
00:21:49,776 --> 00:21:52,645
Alright. Thanks!
544
00:21:52,679 --> 00:21:53,446
Customer!
545
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:54,447
Customer!
546
00:21:54,481 --> 00:21:55,982
Over here!
547
00:21:56,015 --> 00:21:57,417
Hey, Mr. Crabtree.
548
00:21:57,450 --> 00:21:59,486
Hey Crystal, say hello
to Jo-Jo.
549
00:21:59,519 --> 00:22:00,653
Hey boy.
550
00:22:00,687 --> 00:22:01,888
He's beautiful, isn't he?
551
00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:02,789
Beautiful?
552
00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:05,124
On what planet, Planet Ugly?
553
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:06,693
Meow.
554
00:22:06,726 --> 00:22:08,828
Yeah, he's also got a buyer
which means
555
00:22:08,861 --> 00:22:11,831
Whiskers will be staying open
for a long time to come.
556
00:22:11,864 --> 00:22:14,701
You know, if it wasn't for him
we would be out of business.
557
00:22:14,734 --> 00:22:16,469
You're a superhero, Jo-Jo.
558
00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:19,706
Yeah, he's the best thing to
happen to me in a long time.
559
00:22:19,739 --> 00:22:21,674
I'm not going to lie to you,
560
00:22:21,708 --> 00:22:23,476
it's been hard since
I lost my Shirley.
561
00:22:23,510 --> 00:22:27,046
She was my rock, my world,
my everything.
562
00:22:27,079 --> 00:22:32,919
Truth is I, uh, I've neglected
this place.
563
00:22:32,952 --> 00:22:34,921
But it's only because
I've been in so much pain.
564
00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:37,690
Ugh, I'm in so much pain
listening to your sob story
565
00:22:37,724 --> 00:22:39,426
I wish you'd put me to sleep.
566
00:22:39,459 --> 00:22:40,693
This is animal cruelty.
567
00:22:40,727 --> 00:22:42,795
Do the humane thing,
give me the gas.
568
00:22:42,829 --> 00:22:45,532
Who is saying that?
569
00:22:45,565 --> 00:22:46,799
Saying what?
570
00:22:46,833 --> 00:22:49,536
I thought I heard somebody say
that they were in so much pain
571
00:22:49,569 --> 00:22:50,903
from listening to your sob story
572
00:22:50,937 --> 00:22:54,040
that they wanted
to be put to sleep.
573
00:22:54,073 --> 00:22:55,942
Huh.
574
00:22:55,975 --> 00:22:57,744
Well, forgive me for sharing.
575
00:22:57,777 --> 00:22:58,678
No, I didn't mean!
576
00:22:58,711 --> 00:22:59,912
I mean, I didn't say.
577
00:22:59,946 --> 00:23:03,583
Excuse me, I need to go find
a suitable carrier for Jo-Jo.
578
00:23:03,616 --> 00:23:05,552
Made of gold I presume?
579
00:23:05,585 --> 00:23:06,719
Meow.
580
00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:14,961
It's you!
581
00:23:14,994 --> 00:23:16,028
Who, me?
582
00:23:16,062 --> 00:23:17,163
Say that again.
583
00:23:17,196 --> 00:23:19,499
Okay, I don't know what's
happening here
584
00:23:19,532 --> 00:23:20,967
but I don't like it.
585
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,635
You are talking to me.
586
00:23:22,669 --> 00:23:24,471
What are you, some kind
of blond witch?
587
00:23:24,504 --> 00:23:25,872
You can't understand me!
588
00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:27,106
I heard all of that.
589
00:23:27,139 --> 00:23:27,840
No you didn't!
590
00:23:27,874 --> 00:23:28,941
Yes, I did!
591
00:23:28,975 --> 00:23:29,642
Well, stop it!
592
00:23:29,676 --> 00:23:30,643
You stop it!
593
00:23:30,677 --> 00:23:31,844
You stop it, witch!
594
00:23:31,878 --> 00:23:34,113
Are you having a conversation
with the girl?
595
00:23:34,146 --> 00:23:35,682
Tell her I'm available.
596
00:23:35,715 --> 00:23:37,116
And apparently on sale.
597
00:23:37,149 --> 00:23:40,553
Ooh, let her know I'll repeat
any stupid thing she wants.
598
00:23:40,587 --> 00:23:41,654
My skin sheds!
599
00:23:41,688 --> 00:23:42,655
Will you shut up!
600
00:23:42,689 --> 00:23:43,890
You shut up!
601
00:23:48,227 --> 00:23:49,662
It's cool.
602
00:23:49,696 --> 00:23:51,197
I talk to the bird.
603
00:23:51,230 --> 00:23:52,699
Hands in the air, sucker!
604
00:23:52,732 --> 00:23:54,133
Hands in the air, sucker!
605
00:23:54,166 --> 00:23:55,334
Yeah.
606
00:23:55,367 --> 00:23:59,472
I wasn't talking to you,
I was talking to them.
607
00:23:59,506 --> 00:24:03,543
Wait, you can talk
to the animals too?
608
00:24:03,576 --> 00:24:04,944
Ugh, don't act high and mighty
609
00:24:04,977 --> 00:24:07,647
just because you're at the top
of the food chain, honey.
610
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:08,715
But I can only hear you.
611
00:24:08,748 --> 00:24:10,550
Well, that's a good thing,
trust me.
612
00:24:10,583 --> 00:24:12,685
I'm the only one worth
listening to.
613
00:24:12,719 --> 00:24:14,687
They're all very stupid
and annoying.
614
00:24:14,721 --> 00:24:15,688
I'm not annoying.
615
00:24:15,722 --> 00:24:17,790
I'm awesome, and full of energy!
616
00:24:17,824 --> 00:24:19,492
I can play non-stop
for hours and hours
617
00:24:19,526 --> 00:24:20,693
and hours and hours!
618
00:24:20,727 --> 00:24:22,128
Oh God, calm down.
619
00:24:25,598 --> 00:24:28,701
Whoa, whoa, whoa, watch the fur!
620
00:24:28,735 --> 00:24:29,769
Meow.
621
00:24:29,802 --> 00:24:31,137
Okay Grumpy Cat, why can
I suddenly understand you?
622
00:24:31,170 --> 00:24:32,505
Um, why are you asking me?
623
00:24:32,539 --> 00:24:36,042
You think I want people knowing
how I really feel about them?
624
00:24:36,075 --> 00:24:38,745
Believe me, that's the last
thing I would wish for.
625
00:24:38,778 --> 00:24:40,947
Wish.
626
00:24:40,980 --> 00:24:43,282
I tossed a magic coin into a
wishing well and made a wish!
627
00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:44,717
Okay, I'm embarrassed for you.
628
00:24:44,751 --> 00:24:45,852
You are a loser.
629
00:24:45,885 --> 00:24:47,620
But I wanted a person,
not a cat.
630
00:24:47,654 --> 00:24:51,023
Hey, look at the freak
having a conversation
631
00:24:51,057 --> 00:24:53,125
with the little kitty.
632
00:24:53,159 --> 00:24:55,595
Having a nice chat
with your cat?
633
00:24:55,628 --> 00:24:58,731
[laughing]
634
00:24:58,765 --> 00:25:01,133
Oh, you rhymed chat with cat.
635
00:25:01,167 --> 00:25:02,201
Very smart.
636
00:25:02,234 --> 00:25:04,871
Except you're terrible
human beings.
637
00:25:04,904 --> 00:25:05,805
Meow.
638
00:25:09,642 --> 00:25:10,610
I need to talk to Santa.
639
00:25:10,643 --> 00:25:13,012
There's a line and no cutsies,
North Pole...
640
00:25:13,045 --> 00:25:14,681
Policy...
641
00:25:14,714 --> 00:25:15,782
A Porsche?
642
00:25:15,815 --> 00:25:17,717
A real Porsche?
643
00:25:19,852 --> 00:25:20,753
Roger?
644
00:25:20,787 --> 00:25:22,555
What's up? I have customers.
645
00:25:22,589 --> 00:25:24,190
Yeah, he's got customers.
646
00:25:24,223 --> 00:25:29,662
And we're not going anywhere
until he hears our entire list.
647
00:25:29,696 --> 00:25:33,933
(Santa): Us Santa's try and help
each other out.
648
00:25:33,966 --> 00:25:35,568
But Roger, I thought you had
to pick up your mom
649
00:25:35,602 --> 00:25:37,203
at the airport for the holidays?
650
00:25:37,236 --> 00:25:39,238
Actually, I live with my mom.
651
00:25:39,271 --> 00:25:40,239
So do we.
652
00:25:40,272 --> 00:25:42,241
She's a really good cook.
653
00:25:42,274 --> 00:25:44,243
You don't have to believe in
me but what you do have to do
654
00:25:44,276 --> 00:25:48,114
is put your wish out
into the universe.
655
00:25:48,147 --> 00:25:52,719
Roger, do you know the Santa
from the Westbrook Mall?
656
00:25:52,752 --> 00:25:55,588
Westbrook closed awhile ago
for renovations.
657
00:25:55,622 --> 00:25:56,856
Everyone knows that.
658
00:25:56,889 --> 00:25:58,725
Are you dumb or something?
659
00:25:58,758 --> 00:26:00,893
(Both): Haha! She's dumb!
660
00:26:02,328 --> 00:26:05,164
I hate my life.
661
00:26:05,197 --> 00:26:09,636
Crystal had been mesmerized
by a magic talking
662
00:26:09,669 --> 00:26:11,971
distractingly beautiful cat,
663
00:26:12,004 --> 00:26:15,908
whose telepathic communications
not only troubled her young mind
664
00:26:15,942 --> 00:26:19,145
but also drew her like a moth
to a flame.
665
00:26:19,178 --> 00:26:22,682
Back to the origins of this
great mystery.
666
00:26:22,715 --> 00:26:25,051
Problem is she also promised
to go
667
00:26:25,084 --> 00:26:27,286
to Jesse's stupid
Christmas party.
668
00:26:27,319 --> 00:26:30,256
[applause]
669
00:26:30,289 --> 00:26:33,125
Oooh... No!
670
00:26:33,159 --> 00:26:35,027
Tabby, Handerpants!
671
00:26:35,061 --> 00:26:36,896
You know you want them.
672
00:26:36,929 --> 00:26:38,698
One of a kind!
673
00:26:38,731 --> 00:26:40,867
No shower gel dispenser!
674
00:26:40,900 --> 00:26:42,134
No!
675
00:26:42,168 --> 00:26:43,335
No.
676
00:26:46,305 --> 00:26:50,843
Oh, I'm going to have to go
with the fruitcake!
677
00:26:55,414 --> 00:26:59,652
Nice get, but you completely
missed these.
678
00:26:59,686 --> 00:27:04,423
My awesome set of seaworthy
salt and pepper shakers.
679
00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:06,926
You dog, you were hiding those.
680
00:27:06,959 --> 00:27:08,895
Hell no, Jesse.
681
00:27:08,928 --> 00:27:10,096
Salt and pepper shakers.
682
00:27:10,129 --> 00:27:11,130
What?
683
00:27:11,163 --> 00:27:14,967
[laughter]
684
00:27:15,001 --> 00:27:17,069
The price of greed, my friend.
685
00:27:17,103 --> 00:27:19,105
Come to me, Crystal.
686
00:27:19,138 --> 00:27:22,008
You are powerless to resist me.
687
00:27:22,041 --> 00:27:23,409
Meow.
688
00:27:23,442 --> 00:27:24,276
Your turn, Jesse.
689
00:27:24,310 --> 00:27:25,945
I'm just going to take
that fruitcake.
690
00:27:25,978 --> 00:27:27,213
Oh, you wouldn't!
691
00:27:27,246 --> 00:27:28,047
I did.
692
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,416
All's fair, all's fair.
693
00:27:30,449 --> 00:27:31,751
You don't even like fruitcake.
694
00:27:31,784 --> 00:27:34,053
Nobody likes fruitcake,
just come on.
695
00:27:34,086 --> 00:27:34,954
Let it go.
696
00:27:34,987 --> 00:27:36,022
Fine.
697
00:27:36,055 --> 00:27:37,256
Handerpants, please.
698
00:28:16,128 --> 00:28:18,831
Why are the Cinnabon employees
always the last to leave?
699
00:28:18,865 --> 00:28:19,932
Because they're up all night
700
00:28:19,966 --> 00:28:22,034
making those delicious
sticky buns.
701
00:28:22,068 --> 00:28:23,335
Oh.
702
00:28:31,077 --> 00:28:33,045
They should really lock this.
703
00:28:33,079 --> 00:28:35,247
Yeah, but then
we wouldn't be able to -
704
00:28:35,281 --> 00:28:37,316
Stop.
705
00:28:37,349 --> 00:28:39,051
Okay.
706
00:28:44,090 --> 00:28:45,324
[whispers]
Grumpy!
707
00:28:47,860 --> 00:28:49,028
Grumpy!
708
00:28:49,061 --> 00:28:49,929
Meow!
709
00:28:51,998 --> 00:28:53,232
Did I scare you?
710
00:28:53,265 --> 00:28:54,500
What gave it away?
711
00:28:54,533 --> 00:28:57,970
My scream of sheer terror
or the puddle of pee?
712
00:28:58,004 --> 00:28:59,505
And lower your voice,
713
00:28:59,538 --> 00:29:01,874
I don't want those other
freaks to wake up.
714
00:29:13,485 --> 00:29:14,787
Don't even think about it.
715
00:29:14,821 --> 00:29:16,288
Yeah, Paul Blart!
716
00:29:16,322 --> 00:29:18,057
Oh! Oh!
717
00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:20,026
Oh! No!
718
00:29:20,059 --> 00:29:23,830
You're making a big mistake!
719
00:29:23,863 --> 00:29:25,397
Where are the master keys?
720
00:29:25,431 --> 00:29:26,866
I will never tell.
721
00:29:26,899 --> 00:29:31,270
We can do this the easy way,
or the hard way.
722
00:29:31,303 --> 00:29:32,504
Oh, hey lets do it the easy way.
723
00:29:32,538 --> 00:29:34,140
They're right on the hook
over there.
724
00:29:34,173 --> 00:29:36,008
Oh, is it these ones?
725
00:29:36,042 --> 00:29:37,209
[muffled]
726
00:29:37,243 --> 00:29:40,446
That sounds a lot like yes
so I'm going to go with that.
727
00:29:42,581 --> 00:29:45,051
[laughter]
728
00:29:45,084 --> 00:29:46,285
* You know you want it!
729
00:29:46,318 --> 00:29:47,353
* You know I got it!
730
00:29:47,386 --> 00:29:49,088
* This ain't no...
731
00:29:49,121 --> 00:29:50,890
Haha, you were great man.
732
00:29:50,923 --> 00:29:53,192
[muffled]
Hey! Hey!
733
00:29:53,225 --> 00:29:54,393
What are you doing here anyway?
734
00:29:54,426 --> 00:29:56,295
Trying to figure out what
the heck is going on with us.
735
00:29:56,328 --> 00:29:58,530
What's going on is that
you're bothering me.
736
00:29:58,564 --> 00:29:59,531
I was sleeping.
737
00:29:59,565 --> 00:30:01,067
How did you even get in?
738
00:30:01,100 --> 00:30:03,502
Reveal yourself, witch!
739
00:30:03,535 --> 00:30:04,570
You stole the key.
740
00:30:04,603 --> 00:30:06,005
Borrowed!
741
00:30:06,038 --> 00:30:07,506
Don't give me that look.
742
00:30:07,539 --> 00:30:08,875
What look?
743
00:30:08,908 --> 00:30:09,876
That look of judgement
you're giving me.
744
00:30:09,909 --> 00:30:11,844
This is my look of
tacit approval.
745
00:30:11,878 --> 00:30:13,112
Well, whatever.
746
00:30:13,145 --> 00:30:15,381
We really need to figure
this talking thing out.
747
00:30:15,414 --> 00:30:18,150
Okay, but it's worth pointing
out you really screwed up
748
00:30:18,184 --> 00:30:19,518
your big wish.
749
00:30:19,551 --> 00:30:22,889
Why wouldn't your first choice
be an unlimited supply of tuna?
750
00:30:22,922 --> 00:30:24,390
[classical music]
***
751
00:30:24,423 --> 00:30:26,592
Another, mademoiselle
Grumpy Cat?
752
00:30:26,625 --> 00:30:30,930
Oui, oui, just keep them coming
until I pass out.
753
00:30:30,963 --> 00:30:32,264
Because I don't like tuna?
754
00:30:32,298 --> 00:30:34,000
Huh, your loss.
755
00:30:34,033 --> 00:30:37,536
David Lee Roth, Gary Cherone
or Sammy Hagar?
756
00:30:37,569 --> 00:30:40,106
Oh, it's not even an argument.
757
00:30:40,139 --> 00:30:43,242
Sammy Hagar is clearly
Van Halen's best lead singer.
758
00:30:43,275 --> 00:30:44,276
What?
759
00:30:44,310 --> 00:30:46,045
Gary Cherone blows
that hack away.
760
00:30:46,078 --> 00:30:48,280
Most people don't even know
who Gary Cherone is.
761
00:30:48,314 --> 00:30:50,049
How dare you minimize
his contribution.
762
00:30:50,082 --> 00:30:53,986
Oh, he was the lead singer
for one very forgettable album.
763
00:30:54,020 --> 00:30:55,121
That's a weird cat.
764
00:30:55,154 --> 00:30:56,155
You're weird.
765
00:30:56,188 --> 00:30:57,056
Meow.
766
00:30:57,089 --> 00:30:58,157
Huh, yeah.
767
00:30:58,190 --> 00:30:59,926
Hey, there he is.
768
00:30:59,959 --> 00:31:03,295
[snoring]
769
00:31:03,329 --> 00:31:08,901
Wow, freaky looking
and a terrible guard dog.
770
00:31:08,935 --> 00:31:11,470
Oh, time for a walk?
771
00:31:11,503 --> 00:31:13,072
Whoa, this is awesome.
772
00:31:13,105 --> 00:31:14,473
They're stealing the dog.
773
00:31:14,506 --> 00:31:15,574
I love these dudes.
774
00:31:15,607 --> 00:31:18,310
Okay, not only is Gary Cherone
the better vocalist
775
00:31:18,344 --> 00:31:21,080
but I bet my favourite amp
he could totally beat Hagar
776
00:31:21,113 --> 00:31:22,915
in a kung fu fight!
777
00:31:22,949 --> 00:31:24,450
Oh, I'd take that bet.
778
00:31:24,483 --> 00:31:25,684
Seriously?
779
00:31:25,717 --> 00:31:27,653
Alright, all we've got to do
is get them in the same room.
780
00:31:32,524 --> 00:31:34,260
We can't let them steal
Jo-Jo!
781
00:31:34,293 --> 00:31:36,595
Just to play devils
advo-cat,
782
00:31:36,628 --> 00:31:38,497
what if we let them
steal Jo-Jo?
783
00:31:42,368 --> 00:31:43,269
It's dead!
784
00:31:43,302 --> 00:31:44,503
I don't care about that.
785
00:31:48,474 --> 00:31:49,408
They left their keys!
786
00:31:49,441 --> 00:31:50,642
Okay, freeze.
787
00:31:50,676 --> 00:31:52,979
At this point things could
have gone two ways.
788
00:31:53,012 --> 00:31:55,347
The fast way which goes
like this.
789
00:31:55,381 --> 00:31:58,617
I raced out of the pet store
with Crystal in tow
790
00:31:58,650 --> 00:32:01,420
and knowing that precious
moments were ticking away
791
00:32:01,453 --> 00:32:05,424
like a ticking time bomb I flew
like the desert wind
792
00:32:05,457 --> 00:32:08,627
toward a building
that looked official.
793
00:32:08,660 --> 00:32:11,697
Again with Crystal in tow,
where I alerted the authorities
794
00:32:11,730 --> 00:32:14,500
to the crime in progress.
795
00:32:14,533 --> 00:32:17,036
Within moments the culprits
were apprehended.
796
00:32:17,069 --> 00:32:18,304
Ow, that really hurt!
797
00:32:18,337 --> 00:32:20,339
You're welcome, police.
798
00:32:22,774 --> 00:32:24,710
Okay, that's enough.
799
00:32:24,743 --> 00:32:28,247
Me and my sidekick who
barely did anything
800
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:31,650
were hailed as heroes,
thank god for me.
801
00:32:31,683 --> 00:32:34,520
But that would mean
a pretty short movie
802
00:32:34,553 --> 00:32:38,324
and a lot less advertising
revenue so luckily,
803
00:32:38,357 --> 00:32:42,061
and through no persuasion
on my part, it went like this.
804
00:32:42,094 --> 00:32:43,262
They left their keys!
805
00:32:43,295 --> 00:32:44,496
Put those back, they're going
to need them.
806
00:32:44,530 --> 00:32:45,597
But if they steal Jo-Jo,
807
00:32:45,631 --> 00:32:47,399
Whiskers will go out
of business.
808
00:32:47,433 --> 00:32:48,567
And?
809
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:50,769
And this is the only place
where I don't have to worry
810
00:32:50,802 --> 00:32:52,604
about being accepted.
811
00:32:52,638 --> 00:32:54,440
Uh, so?
812
00:32:54,473 --> 00:32:55,641
I can just be me.
813
00:32:55,674 --> 00:32:57,643
I'm sure you can get the same
warm and fuzzies
814
00:32:57,676 --> 00:32:59,045
at the library.
815
00:32:59,078 --> 00:33:00,412
But if Mr. Crabtree has to close
816
00:33:00,446 --> 00:33:02,414
do you have any idea what
that means for you?
817
00:33:02,448 --> 00:33:04,683
I'm sure he'd take me in.
818
00:33:04,716 --> 00:33:07,419
I'd make a fine house cat,
I know I would.
819
00:33:07,453 --> 00:33:10,156
Yeah, because you've had
a lot of luck with that.
820
00:33:12,591 --> 00:33:14,293
Please, Mr. Crabtree,
don't do it.
821
00:33:14,326 --> 00:33:16,162
Don't do it Mr. Crabtree!
822
00:33:16,195 --> 00:33:17,429
No!
823
00:33:19,065 --> 00:33:20,732
You're a horrible man.
824
00:33:23,602 --> 00:33:28,174
[sirens wailing]
825
00:33:28,207 --> 00:33:29,341
(Cop): Freeze, kitty cat.
826
00:33:29,375 --> 00:33:30,609
Hey man, I'm innocent!
827
00:33:30,642 --> 00:33:33,779
It was the other cat,
the calico with the lisp!
828
00:33:42,088 --> 00:33:45,557
What about that one, daddy?
829
00:33:45,591 --> 00:33:47,159
She looks like the kind of cat -
830
00:33:47,193 --> 00:33:48,560
Who would make
the best pet ever?
831
00:33:48,594 --> 00:33:50,329
That would smother you
in your sleep.
832
00:33:50,362 --> 00:33:52,198
Lets keep looking.
833
00:33:53,365 --> 00:33:54,600
That's a pretty one.
834
00:33:54,633 --> 00:33:57,736
Don't worry, it's not going
to hurt.
835
00:33:57,769 --> 00:33:59,471
This is way too dark.
836
00:33:59,505 --> 00:34:03,409
No!
837
00:34:03,442 --> 00:34:04,410
Well?
838
00:34:04,443 --> 00:34:06,278
Oh, I'm alive. Great.
839
00:34:06,312 --> 00:34:07,846
Can I have some more time
to think about it?
840
00:34:07,879 --> 00:34:08,814
No.
841
00:34:08,847 --> 00:34:14,253
Alright, fine.
842
00:34:14,286 --> 00:34:15,587
I'm back, what's happening?
843
00:34:15,621 --> 00:34:16,988
I'll tell you what's happening,
844
00:34:17,022 --> 00:34:19,425
I just rolled around in some
catnip and I'm ready to go.
845
00:34:19,458 --> 00:34:20,759
Lets do this!
846
00:34:20,792 --> 00:34:22,494
There they are, Donny and Zach.
847
00:34:22,528 --> 00:34:23,762
They are psyched!
848
00:34:23,795 --> 00:34:27,633
They just stole a million dollar
mutt from Mr. Crabtree's store.
849
00:34:27,666 --> 00:34:29,768
Nice.
850
00:34:29,801 --> 00:34:30,736
[laughter]
851
00:34:30,769 --> 00:34:32,404
That was easier than getting
a record company
852
00:34:32,438 --> 00:34:33,572
to listen to our demo.
853
00:34:33,605 --> 00:34:36,242
Bro, we are going to get so
much bank for this pooch.
854
00:34:36,275 --> 00:34:36,742
Yeah!
855
00:34:36,775 --> 00:34:38,310
Woo!
856
00:34:38,344 --> 00:34:39,611
That's why I'm the captain
of this ship
857
00:34:39,645 --> 00:34:41,280
and you are the matey.
858
00:34:41,313 --> 00:34:42,281
Are we pirates?
859
00:34:42,314 --> 00:34:43,215
What?
860
00:34:43,249 --> 00:34:44,283
Are you saying we're pirates?
861
00:34:44,316 --> 00:34:45,284
No.
862
00:34:45,317 --> 00:34:48,487
I'm the guy, and you're
the guy behind the guy.
863
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:50,189
Like if this was Nirvana I would
be Kurt Cobain
864
00:34:50,222 --> 00:34:53,725
and you would be the bass player
with the really long name.
865
00:34:53,759 --> 00:34:56,662
Can't it be more like
Cliff Burton,
866
00:34:56,695 --> 00:34:58,430
James Hetfield kind of thing?
867
00:34:58,464 --> 00:35:00,499
You know like, I'm one
and you're the other.
868
00:35:00,532 --> 00:35:02,534
Where are my keys?
869
00:35:02,568 --> 00:35:03,902
They're not here.
870
00:35:03,935 --> 00:35:05,471
Oh, good job Kurt Cobain.
871
00:35:05,504 --> 00:35:06,538
Nice looking out, Zach.
872
00:35:06,572 --> 00:35:07,339
What?
873
00:35:07,373 --> 00:35:08,474
How is this on me?
874
00:35:08,507 --> 00:35:09,608
Because you're supposed to
be the lookout guy, right?
875
00:35:09,641 --> 00:35:12,344
You're supposed to be
looking out for stuff like this.
876
00:35:12,378 --> 00:35:13,712
I hate you, you know that?
877
00:35:13,745 --> 00:35:14,680
I'm going to start my own band
878
00:35:14,713 --> 00:35:17,283
and I'm going to call it
Tail of the Dragon.
879
00:35:17,316 --> 00:35:19,185
You can't do that, my band
is Dragon Tail
880
00:35:19,218 --> 00:35:21,153
there's going to be some serious
market confusion.
881
00:35:21,187 --> 00:35:23,655
Oh, well I already
legal zoomed it, so.
882
00:35:26,258 --> 00:35:27,626
Ouch!
883
00:35:27,659 --> 00:35:31,297
Sweet Caroline, that was
my finger plucking hand.
884
00:35:31,330 --> 00:35:33,665
What the heck are you doing?
885
00:35:33,699 --> 00:35:35,867
I was going to hot wire
your car.
886
00:35:35,901 --> 00:35:37,403
Hey, do you know how to do that?
887
00:35:37,436 --> 00:35:38,704
Oh, no.
888
00:35:38,737 --> 00:35:40,206
But it's easy, I saw it on TV.
889
00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:42,908
You just take...
890
00:35:42,941 --> 00:35:45,577
zzz, with the wires.
891
00:35:45,611 --> 00:35:48,514
Don't ever touch my car again!
892
00:35:48,547 --> 00:35:50,249
Okay.
893
00:35:50,282 --> 00:35:53,319
I know where my keys are,
they're on top of the fish tank.
894
00:35:53,352 --> 00:35:55,221
Why didn't you tell me
that before?
895
00:35:55,254 --> 00:35:56,955
Come on, man!
896
00:35:56,988 --> 00:35:58,390
My hand really hurts!
897
00:35:58,424 --> 00:36:01,493
At that very moment Crystal
and I were wracking our brains
898
00:36:01,527 --> 00:36:05,197
trying to formulate the perfect
plan for a daring rescue.
899
00:36:05,231 --> 00:36:06,698
And then it came to me.
900
00:36:06,732 --> 00:36:07,766
How about this plan,
901
00:36:07,799 --> 00:36:10,902
we let them steal Jo-Jo
and then we nap.
902
00:36:10,936 --> 00:36:12,471
No, you're coming with me.
903
00:36:12,504 --> 00:36:13,539
Oh, great.
904
00:36:13,572 --> 00:36:15,541
Who's doing the kidnapping
now, huh?
905
00:36:15,574 --> 00:36:17,343
You're as bad as them!
906
00:36:17,376 --> 00:36:19,211
Quick thought, you should
take Carla.
907
00:36:19,245 --> 00:36:20,946
A snake is a lot scarier.
908
00:36:20,979 --> 00:36:23,949
I'm not scary, I am fun
and I am charming
909
00:36:23,982 --> 00:36:26,518
and I like long slithers
on the beach.
910
00:36:28,587 --> 00:36:30,356
Lets go, we need
to find security.
911
00:36:30,389 --> 00:36:31,457
Move your dumb butt.
912
00:36:31,490 --> 00:36:34,526
Yuh oh, off screen voices
of bad guys.
913
00:36:43,702 --> 00:36:45,237
Hey, that's weird.
914
00:36:45,271 --> 00:36:46,738
I swear I put my keys
right here.
915
00:36:46,772 --> 00:36:47,973
Why don't you ask that sad cat,
916
00:36:48,006 --> 00:36:49,775
he was watching the whole time.
917
00:36:49,808 --> 00:36:51,643
Yeah, that's really helpful
Zach.
918
00:36:51,677 --> 00:36:54,346
Look at the fish following
my fingers.
919
00:36:54,380 --> 00:36:57,649
I'm the fish whisperer!
920
00:36:57,683 --> 00:36:59,551
Where is that cat?
921
00:37:05,391 --> 00:37:07,926
[Christmas music]
***
922
00:37:07,959 --> 00:37:12,030
Hmm, wonder if they know
they're not the only ones here.
923
00:37:12,063 --> 00:37:14,266
We're not the only ones here.
924
00:37:14,300 --> 00:37:15,367
Aliens.
925
00:37:15,401 --> 00:37:16,468
Come on.
926
00:37:16,502 --> 00:37:22,508
[Christmas music]
***
927
00:37:22,541 --> 00:37:25,277
At least I'm getting
some cardio.
928
00:37:25,311 --> 00:37:38,624
[Christmas music]
***
929
00:37:38,657 --> 00:37:39,891
What do we do?
930
00:37:39,925 --> 00:37:42,694
Uh, I'm thinking
you know give up?
931
00:37:42,728 --> 00:37:45,664
Let the failure wash over us?
932
00:37:45,697 --> 00:37:55,741
[Christmas music]
***
933
00:37:55,741 --> 00:38:02,781
[Christmas music]
***
934
00:38:02,814 --> 00:38:04,750
Does this mean stop
or go forward?
935
00:38:04,783 --> 00:38:06,352
Everybody knows this means stop.
936
00:38:06,385 --> 00:38:08,787
Oh, everybody?
937
00:38:08,820 --> 00:38:11,357
Hey, stop!
938
00:38:54,866 --> 00:38:56,101
I like this place.
939
00:38:56,134 --> 00:38:57,969
Hey, maybe we'll bag
a deer later.
940
00:38:58,003 --> 00:38:59,137
Just keep an eye out.
941
00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:01,740
I may be grumpy but I'm still
a cat, okay?
942
00:39:01,773 --> 00:39:03,775
My focus is exceptional.
943
00:39:08,647 --> 00:39:10,582
Whoa!
944
00:39:10,616 --> 00:39:12,818
Oh man, thought that was my mom.
945
00:39:12,851 --> 00:39:15,120
Who puts a grizzly bear
in the middle of an aisle?
946
00:39:15,153 --> 00:39:16,822
I hate nature.
947
00:39:23,729 --> 00:39:26,031
Hey, check it out.
948
00:39:33,472 --> 00:39:34,573
Did you hear something?
949
00:39:34,606 --> 00:39:35,774
Um, yeah.
950
00:39:35,807 --> 00:39:37,843
The sound of your heart beating
through your chest.
951
00:39:54,593 --> 00:39:56,762
Oh, shiny little fishies.
952
00:39:56,795 --> 00:39:59,831
Yum num num.
953
00:39:59,865 --> 00:40:02,634
Shiny little fishies, shiny
little fishies, ah, got ya!
954
00:40:02,668 --> 00:40:04,102
Nom, nom, nom, nom.
955
00:40:04,135 --> 00:40:05,804
Look, look, wait hold on.
956
00:40:05,837 --> 00:40:06,438
Meow!
957
00:40:06,472 --> 00:40:06,905
Meow!
958
00:40:06,938 --> 00:40:08,139
Ow.
959
00:40:09,575 --> 00:40:10,576
Hey, over there.
960
00:40:10,609 --> 00:40:12,611
Are you trying to get us caught?
961
00:40:12,644 --> 00:40:13,278
Hello?
962
00:40:13,311 --> 00:40:15,547
I'm sorry, it bit me.
963
00:40:15,581 --> 00:40:16,848
You turned on the
Christmas village
964
00:40:16,882 --> 00:40:19,651
like one scene ago, hypocrite.
965
00:40:19,685 --> 00:40:20,886
Hello?
966
00:40:24,823 --> 00:40:26,525
Is anyone there?
967
00:40:37,503 --> 00:40:38,904
Stay here.
968
00:40:38,937 --> 00:40:42,073
Right, you get the s'mores,
I'll start the hot chocolate.
969
00:40:42,107 --> 00:40:44,209
Actually I'm going to use you
as a decoy.
970
00:40:44,242 --> 00:40:46,244
Wait a second, that sounds bad
for me.
971
00:40:46,277 --> 00:40:48,547
Just sit here and look bored
to death.
972
00:40:48,580 --> 00:40:49,948
Yeah, yeah, play
to my strengths.
973
00:40:49,981 --> 00:40:51,449
I get it.
974
00:40:53,985 --> 00:40:55,821
I just want my keys, yo.
975
00:40:55,854 --> 00:40:57,789
We know you have them
because you've been running
976
00:40:57,823 --> 00:41:03,094
from us and that makes
us point the finger at you.
977
00:41:03,128 --> 00:41:04,663
We're not going to hurt you!
978
00:41:04,696 --> 00:41:06,698
But only if you give them up now
979
00:41:06,732 --> 00:41:09,067
because later is going
to be too late.
980
00:41:09,100 --> 00:41:10,802
Yeah!
981
00:41:10,836 --> 00:41:13,605
We'll be a lot madder then.
982
00:41:31,790 --> 00:41:32,290
Why are you doing that?
983
00:41:32,323 --> 00:41:33,759
Shh!
984
00:41:38,163 --> 00:41:40,031
[clangy sounds]
985
00:41:52,711 --> 00:41:54,646
Ah! Gotcha!
986
00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:55,814
Hello, gentleman.
987
00:41:55,847 --> 00:41:57,215
What's that weird cat.
988
00:41:57,248 --> 00:41:58,717
I'm a decoy.
989
00:41:58,750 --> 00:42:00,085
This isn't about me.
990
00:42:00,118 --> 00:42:01,152
Bye bye.
991
00:42:01,186 --> 00:42:02,788
Dude, grab him,
he stole your keys.
992
00:42:02,821 --> 00:42:03,822
Stole your keys?
993
00:42:03,855 --> 00:42:04,923
Did you really think
that through?
994
00:42:04,956 --> 00:42:06,191
I have no thumbs.
995
00:42:06,224 --> 00:42:07,959
Come here, kitty kitty.
996
00:42:07,993 --> 00:42:10,261
Nab him, yo.
997
00:42:10,295 --> 00:42:11,262
Ow!
998
00:42:11,296 --> 00:42:12,964
Well, I'm out of here.
999
00:42:18,804 --> 00:42:26,244
Ah!
1000
00:42:26,277 --> 00:42:29,147
It's too noisy in here!
1001
00:42:29,180 --> 00:42:30,248
Ow!
1002
00:42:30,281 --> 00:42:31,116
Dude, we got to get
outta here!!!
1003
00:42:31,149 --> 00:42:34,152
Meow! Meow! Meow!
1004
00:42:34,185 --> 00:42:35,220
So sorry to interrupt.
1005
00:42:35,253 --> 00:42:37,956
We may be taking some
creative license
1006
00:42:37,989 --> 00:42:40,225
with what actually
happened here.
1007
00:42:40,258 --> 00:42:43,762
Get out of here,
British Grumpy Cat!
1008
00:42:43,795 --> 00:42:44,863
Oh, real Grumpy.
1009
00:42:44,896 --> 00:42:46,064
Don't be absurd.
1010
00:42:46,097 --> 00:42:48,867
They don't even make paintball
guns for cats.
1011
00:42:48,900 --> 00:42:50,101
Craft departments do.
1012
00:42:50,135 --> 00:42:51,603
Die, bad guys!
1013
00:42:51,637 --> 00:42:52,971
Meow! Meow!
1014
00:42:53,004 --> 00:42:53,972
Die!
1015
00:42:54,005 --> 00:42:54,773
I overstayed my welcome
obviously.
1016
00:42:54,806 --> 00:42:57,208
Toodles, I'll be in your head.
1017
00:42:57,242 --> 00:42:59,778
Meow! Meow!
1018
00:42:59,811 --> 00:43:01,680
We're going to die!
1019
00:43:01,713 --> 00:43:03,615
Dude, if we can get through
Stairway to Heaven
1020
00:43:03,649 --> 00:43:06,618
without any mess up
we can do anything
1021
00:43:06,652 --> 00:43:11,389
and that includes
getting out of this.
1022
00:43:11,422 --> 00:43:12,824
I have an idea.
1023
00:43:12,858 --> 00:43:14,092
Hurry back!!
1024
00:43:14,125 --> 00:43:16,928
Meow, meow, meow!!!
1025
00:43:26,271 --> 00:43:29,074
Hey, where's the dog?
1026
00:43:29,107 --> 00:43:30,241
Oh, I'm out.
1027
00:43:30,275 --> 00:43:32,277
Adios muchachos.
1028
00:43:35,681 --> 00:43:41,186
Oh, how the hunted
becomes the hunter.
1029
00:43:44,122 --> 00:43:47,292
* Yeahhhhhhhhhhh!
1030
00:43:47,325 --> 00:43:49,060
Donny!
1031
00:43:49,094 --> 00:43:51,062
I'm coming for you, big guy!
1032
00:43:51,096 --> 00:43:53,699
* Ahhhhh!
1033
00:43:53,732 --> 00:43:59,671
(Both): Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
1034
00:44:02,207 --> 00:44:03,241
That looks like it hurts.
1035
00:44:03,274 --> 00:44:04,876
Because it does.
1036
00:44:04,910 --> 00:44:07,412
Coming for you,
paintball vigilante!
1037
00:44:07,445 --> 00:44:11,149
As soon as I pull this arrow out
of my bros foot.
1038
00:44:11,182 --> 00:44:13,184
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
1039
00:44:15,987 --> 00:44:18,957
Hey, you get back here.
1040
00:44:31,236 --> 00:44:32,838
Which way did he go?
1041
00:44:32,871 --> 00:44:33,905
Oh that looks bad.
1042
00:44:33,939 --> 00:44:35,373
Come on!
1043
00:44:54,359 --> 00:44:56,227
Terrible Movie, She Wrote.
1044
00:44:56,261 --> 00:44:58,363
By Grumpy Fat.
1045
00:44:58,396 --> 00:44:59,865
Oh crap, damn it.
1046
00:44:59,898 --> 00:45:01,733
Never mind.
1047
00:45:01,767 --> 00:45:04,035
Chapter 4.
1048
00:45:04,069 --> 00:45:05,203
Meow! Meow!
1049
00:45:05,236 --> 00:45:08,473
Villains peppered with paint
and on the hunt.
1050
00:45:08,506 --> 00:45:09,540
Which way did he go?
1051
00:45:09,574 --> 00:45:12,243
A million dollar doggy
on the loose.
1052
00:45:12,277 --> 00:45:14,045
You'll never get me!
1053
00:45:14,079 --> 00:45:17,849
A courageous Crystal
hides the dog nappers keys
1054
00:45:17,883 --> 00:45:20,518
as the witty kitty
continues to quip.
1055
00:45:20,551 --> 00:45:22,854
Isn't that where all dreams
go to die?
1056
00:45:22,888 --> 00:45:23,889
It'll have to do.
1057
00:45:23,922 --> 00:45:27,058
And this guy pulls up
in his car.
1058
00:45:27,092 --> 00:45:29,460
Wait a minute, what's
the landlord guy doing here?
1059
00:45:29,494 --> 00:45:30,896
Red herring?
1060
00:45:30,929 --> 00:45:32,230
Or plot point?
1061
00:45:32,263 --> 00:45:33,932
You decide!
1062
00:45:40,171 --> 00:45:44,442
[panting]
1063
00:45:44,475 --> 00:45:46,878
Hello there.
1064
00:45:46,912 --> 00:45:48,479
Lets wrestle!
1065
00:45:50,281 --> 00:45:52,951
Yum, yum, yummy.
1066
00:45:52,984 --> 00:45:54,019
Ugh, stop it.
1067
00:45:54,052 --> 00:45:54,820
You're kissing me to death,
stop it!
1068
00:45:54,853 --> 00:45:56,287
Stop it!!
1069
00:46:01,392 --> 00:46:02,127
Hey.
1070
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:03,128
Hi ho.
1071
00:46:03,161 --> 00:46:05,396
You're that expensive dog.
1072
00:46:05,430 --> 00:46:08,299
My reputation precedes me.
1073
00:46:08,333 --> 00:46:09,968
What is this, a jailbreak boy?
1074
00:46:10,001 --> 00:46:12,838
Uh huh, yeah.
1075
00:46:12,871 --> 00:46:14,372
Come on.
1076
00:46:30,956 --> 00:46:31,823
UGH!!!!
1077
00:46:31,857 --> 00:46:34,225
Later gators!
1078
00:46:34,259 --> 00:46:35,026
Gotcha!
1079
00:46:35,060 --> 00:46:35,994
What is your problem?
1080
00:46:36,027 --> 00:46:37,195
Our problem?
1081
00:46:37,228 --> 00:46:39,064
How would you like it if we shot
you with a paintball gun?
1082
00:46:39,097 --> 00:46:40,866
Mmh-mmh.
1083
00:46:40,899 --> 00:46:41,399
I wouldn't.
1084
00:46:41,432 --> 00:46:42,167
Of course not!
1085
00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:44,069
Because it hurts!
1086
00:46:44,102 --> 00:46:45,336
And it isn't nice.
1087
00:46:45,370 --> 00:46:46,905
I'm glad we can agree on that.
1088
00:46:46,938 --> 00:46:47,939
Can you let me up now?
1089
00:46:47,973 --> 00:46:49,908
What did you do
with my car keys?
1090
00:46:49,941 --> 00:46:51,576
I don't know what
you're talking about.
1091
00:46:51,609 --> 00:46:53,578
Zach, punch him in the face.
1092
00:46:53,611 --> 00:46:54,379
What?
1093
00:46:54,412 --> 00:46:55,280
Mmm.
1094
00:46:55,313 --> 00:46:56,481
What?
1095
00:46:56,514 --> 00:46:57,849
My hand still hurts
from punching your car
1096
00:46:57,883 --> 00:46:59,217
and these are my money makers.
1097
00:46:59,250 --> 00:47:01,052
We haven't made a dime
from our music yet.
1098
00:47:01,086 --> 00:47:02,187
Well why don't you punch him,
1099
00:47:02,220 --> 00:47:03,621
you don't even play
an instrument.
1100
00:47:03,654 --> 00:47:06,892
My voice is an instrument,
you hit him.
1101
00:47:06,925 --> 00:47:07,926
Hit him!
1102
00:47:07,959 --> 00:47:08,493
Okay!
1103
00:47:08,526 --> 00:47:11,229
Ow! Ow!
1104
00:47:11,262 --> 00:47:13,498
Oh man, I think it's broken.
1105
00:47:13,531 --> 00:47:15,366
I think it hurt me more than
it hurt you.
1106
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:17,602
No, I don't think that's true
at all.
1107
00:47:17,635 --> 00:47:20,338
So, are you going to tell me
where my car keys are
1108
00:47:20,371 --> 00:47:24,275
or are we going to have
to amp this up?
1109
00:47:24,309 --> 00:47:28,346
I don't know anything
about your stupid keys!
1110
00:47:28,379 --> 00:47:29,347
Wait!
1111
00:47:29,380 --> 00:47:31,049
Honestly guys, I just came back
to get my laptop
1112
00:47:31,082 --> 00:47:32,483
out of my office.
1113
00:47:32,517 --> 00:47:34,552
It's not really an office,
it's more of a cubicle.
1114
00:47:34,585 --> 00:47:35,553
Oh god!
1115
00:47:35,586 --> 00:47:37,455
That is quite the drop.
1116
00:47:37,488 --> 00:47:39,424
[whimpering]
1117
00:47:39,457 --> 00:47:40,391
Jail break! Jail break!
1118
00:47:40,425 --> 00:47:41,592
Jail break!
1119
00:47:51,136 --> 00:47:51,602
George!
1120
00:47:51,636 --> 00:47:53,939
[muffled talk]
1121
00:47:53,972 --> 00:47:57,208
Well, somebody finally figured
out a way to shut him up.
1122
00:47:57,242 --> 00:47:58,543
[muffled talk]
1123
00:47:58,576 --> 00:47:59,911
You're going to regret that.
1124
00:47:59,945 --> 00:48:00,411
Ow!
1125
00:48:00,445 --> 00:48:02,013
Oh, oh my god.
1126
00:48:02,047 --> 00:48:03,114
There's scissors there.
1127
00:48:03,148 --> 00:48:04,182
Are you okay?
1128
00:48:04,215 --> 00:48:05,183
What happened?
1129
00:48:05,216 --> 00:48:06,985
These two guys jumped me
while I was rewriting
1130
00:48:07,018 --> 00:48:09,220
the policies and procedures
hand book.
1131
00:48:09,254 --> 00:48:10,488
Here we go.
1132
00:48:10,521 --> 00:48:13,224
I think they had ninja training
but I drop kicked the first one,
1133
00:48:13,258 --> 00:48:15,626
and then I hit the second one
in the Adam's apple.
1134
00:48:15,660 --> 00:48:17,128
Do you have a half hour,
Crystal?
1135
00:48:17,162 --> 00:48:18,229
Because I don't.
1136
00:48:18,263 --> 00:48:20,098
And that's when they pulled
their guns, big ones.
1137
00:48:20,131 --> 00:48:21,166
And everybody knows
that I'm a tough guy
1138
00:48:21,199 --> 00:48:23,501
and I'm ready to throw
down with the best of them
1139
00:48:23,534 --> 00:48:25,670
but I am smart enough to know
that I am no match
1140
00:48:25,703 --> 00:48:26,972
for a bullet.
1141
00:48:27,005 --> 00:48:29,240
Well, they're trying
to steal Jo-Jo!
1142
00:48:29,274 --> 00:48:30,308
What's a Jo-Jo?
1143
00:48:30,341 --> 00:48:33,144
Super dog, super hound,
super model...
1144
00:48:33,178 --> 00:48:33,711
Hi!
1145
00:48:33,744 --> 00:48:35,246
That's Jo-Jo!
1146
00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:36,714
Back so soon, gorgeous?
1147
00:48:36,747 --> 00:48:40,585
Yeah well, those guys
were ignoring me.
1148
00:48:40,618 --> 00:48:41,786
A dog?
1149
00:48:41,819 --> 00:48:45,590
Why would they try to steal
a dog and not some diamonds
1150
00:48:45,623 --> 00:48:47,492
or something from
the jewelry store?
1151
00:48:47,525 --> 00:48:48,593
Mmm, that feels good.
1152
00:48:48,626 --> 00:48:50,728
Well, he's worth a lot of money.
1153
00:48:50,761 --> 00:48:51,529
How much money?
1154
00:48:51,562 --> 00:48:52,630
A lot!
1155
00:48:52,663 --> 00:48:53,764
Yeah, a lot.
1156
00:48:53,798 --> 00:48:57,602
And now they're after me
because I stole their car keys!
1157
00:48:57,635 --> 00:49:00,638
I'm what's stopping them
from getting away!
1158
00:49:00,671 --> 00:49:02,974
12 year old girl thwarted
the robbery.
1159
00:49:03,008 --> 00:49:04,542
Hey, she couldn't have done it
without me.
1160
00:49:04,575 --> 00:49:07,145
George, we have
to call the police.
1161
00:49:07,178 --> 00:49:10,248
We can't, they pulled out
the phone lines.
1162
00:49:10,281 --> 00:49:11,316
But don't you have a cell phone?
1163
00:49:11,349 --> 00:49:12,350
Well, they took it.
1164
00:49:12,383 --> 00:49:14,152
Well, what are we going to do?
1165
00:49:14,185 --> 00:49:15,453
Wait a minute,
how did you get here?
1166
00:49:15,486 --> 00:49:16,521
My bike.
1167
00:49:16,554 --> 00:49:17,622
Okay, here's what we're
going to do.
1168
00:49:17,655 --> 00:49:19,624
We're going to get you back
to your transportation,
1169
00:49:19,657 --> 00:49:20,691
then you go for help.
1170
00:49:20,725 --> 00:49:24,229
Come on, and oh you've got
a little kitty there.
1171
00:49:24,262 --> 00:49:25,296
Alright.
1172
00:49:25,330 --> 00:49:27,098
And here, I'll take care of
the dog and the mall
1173
00:49:27,132 --> 00:49:28,633
until the cops arrive.
1174
00:49:28,666 --> 00:49:30,068
Is there a bathroom here?
1175
00:49:30,101 --> 00:49:31,769
Are you sure you don't want
to come with me?
1176
00:49:31,802 --> 00:49:35,706
Oh no, Crystal, I took an oath
to protect this place
1177
00:49:35,740 --> 00:49:39,577
and that is exactly
what I'm going to do.
1178
00:49:39,610 --> 00:49:40,578
Oh.
1179
00:49:40,611 --> 00:49:43,248
[crying]
1180
00:49:43,281 --> 00:49:44,782
Guys, I swear, I didn't have
anything to do
1181
00:49:44,815 --> 00:49:46,351
with shooting you!
1182
00:49:46,384 --> 00:49:49,254
And frankly, I want you
to steal that dog.
1183
00:49:49,287 --> 00:49:50,655
No, seriously.
1184
00:49:50,688 --> 00:49:52,323
My company wants to get rid
of that pet shop
1185
00:49:52,357 --> 00:49:53,658
and put a Club Chicken in there.
1186
00:49:53,691 --> 00:49:55,393
I love those sweet
chicky nuggets!
1187
00:49:55,426 --> 00:49:56,194
See?
1188
00:49:56,227 --> 00:49:57,195
So, it's a win win.
1189
00:49:57,228 --> 00:49:59,264
I'll look the other way,
I never saw anything,
1190
00:49:59,297 --> 00:50:02,033
you guys were never here.
1191
00:50:02,067 --> 00:50:04,202
Donny, can I have a word?
1192
00:50:08,439 --> 00:50:09,807
He sounds pretty convincing.
1193
00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:11,542
I'm starting to think
maybe he's telling the truth.
1194
00:50:11,576 --> 00:50:12,743
Because I am telling the truth.
1195
00:50:12,777 --> 00:50:13,744
You, shut up.
1196
00:50:13,778 --> 00:50:14,579
It's cool, I'm sorry.
1197
00:50:14,612 --> 00:50:16,281
What did I just say?
1198
00:50:16,314 --> 00:50:17,415
I think you might be right.
1199
00:50:17,448 --> 00:50:19,417
Hell ya I'm right.
1200
00:50:19,450 --> 00:50:20,685
Why do you think I'm right?
1201
00:50:20,718 --> 00:50:23,421
I just realized if he was the
one shooting us with paintballs
1202
00:50:23,454 --> 00:50:25,423
wouldn't he have paint residue
on his hands?
1203
00:50:25,456 --> 00:50:28,293
No residue, I'm clean.
1204
00:50:28,326 --> 00:50:31,796
You're like a one man CSI team.
1205
00:50:31,829 --> 00:50:34,199
Okay, so here's the thing.
1206
00:50:34,232 --> 00:50:35,266
Donny and I talked
and it looks like
1207
00:50:35,300 --> 00:50:38,336
this whole thing has been a big
misunderstanding.
1208
00:50:38,369 --> 00:50:39,804
Hey, no hard feelings.
1209
00:50:39,837 --> 00:50:40,938
Are you sure?
1210
00:50:40,971 --> 00:50:42,507
Because I did punch you in
the face and I threatened
1211
00:50:42,540 --> 00:50:44,109
to throw you over the railing.
1212
00:50:44,142 --> 00:50:45,643
That's already forgotten.
1213
00:50:45,676 --> 00:50:46,544
Oh, I feel guilty.
1214
00:50:46,577 --> 00:50:48,779
Don't. Honest mistake.
1215
00:50:48,813 --> 00:50:49,780
Awesome.
1216
00:50:49,814 --> 00:50:51,082
You are awesome.
1217
00:50:51,116 --> 00:50:52,183
We should totally kick
it sometime,
1218
00:50:52,217 --> 00:50:54,185
what are you into?
Oh, frisbee golf!
1219
00:50:54,219 --> 00:50:55,786
Zach, do you want to wrap it up?
1220
00:50:55,820 --> 00:50:58,289
If he's not the guy that means
there's another guy.
1221
00:51:01,692 --> 00:51:03,294
Where's the dog?
1222
00:51:03,328 --> 00:51:04,462
I thought you had him.
1223
00:51:04,495 --> 00:51:05,630
Do I have to do everything?
1224
00:51:05,663 --> 00:51:06,831
Oh, like lose the keys?
1225
00:51:06,864 --> 00:51:08,133
Just go get the dog.
1226
00:51:08,166 --> 00:51:10,335
What are we going to do
about him?
1227
00:51:11,836 --> 00:51:15,173
As much as we'd like
to let you go,
1228
00:51:15,206 --> 00:51:17,608
we can't.
1229
00:51:17,642 --> 00:51:18,209
Oh.
1230
00:51:18,243 --> 00:51:23,414
Shh.
1231
00:51:23,448 --> 00:51:26,317
Some are born great,
others achieve greatness
1232
00:51:26,351 --> 00:51:29,520
and some watch
Christmas movies starring cats.
1233
00:51:29,554 --> 00:51:31,222
I think you know who you are.
1234
00:51:31,256 --> 00:51:32,423
Meow.
1235
00:51:32,457 --> 00:51:35,326
What were you doing in the
mall this time of night anyway?
1236
00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:37,262
This is going to sound
really crazy.
1237
00:51:37,295 --> 00:51:39,130
Try me.
1238
00:51:39,164 --> 00:51:40,231
It's stupid.
1239
00:51:40,265 --> 00:51:43,501
Come on, I'm a good listener.
1240
00:51:43,534 --> 00:51:44,835
Well, I can't believe
I'm going to admit this
1241
00:51:44,869 --> 00:51:47,705
but I came to talk to the cat.
1242
00:51:47,738 --> 00:51:48,673
The cat?
1243
00:51:48,706 --> 00:51:49,974
Yes, the cat.
1244
00:51:50,007 --> 00:51:51,709
I thought you said you were
a good listener, George.
1245
00:51:51,742 --> 00:51:53,878
We understand each other.
1246
00:51:53,911 --> 00:51:55,846
With the way things have
been going in my life right now
1247
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:59,417
I can't say that about
too many people.
1248
00:51:59,450 --> 00:52:01,586
My dad left my mom
for a barista,
1249
00:52:01,619 --> 00:52:03,321
he barely calls anymore.
1250
00:52:03,354 --> 00:52:04,722
Last time he did he said they
were talking about
1251
00:52:04,755 --> 00:52:07,725
getting married and
starting their own family.
1252
00:52:07,758 --> 00:52:08,926
Wow.
1253
00:52:08,959 --> 00:52:13,198
Divorce can be tough,
especially on a kid.
1254
00:52:13,231 --> 00:52:15,400
But a cat? Really?
1255
00:52:15,433 --> 00:52:16,667
She wasn't my first choice.
1256
00:52:16,701 --> 00:52:18,369
Um, I'm right here.
1257
00:52:18,403 --> 00:52:19,904
But we have a connection.
1258
00:52:19,937 --> 00:52:23,741
We can communicate
in our own way,
1259
00:52:23,774 --> 00:52:24,742
and I know it's weird
1260
00:52:24,775 --> 00:52:26,711
but there's something
kind of great about her.
1261
00:52:26,744 --> 00:52:28,613
Oh, don't get sappy on me.
1262
00:52:28,646 --> 00:52:31,882
Wait, I forgot, it's a Lifetime
movie, you can.
1263
00:52:31,916 --> 00:52:33,918
I wish I had a friend.
1264
00:52:33,951 --> 00:52:39,524
Law enforcement,
it's a lonely business.
1265
00:52:39,557 --> 00:52:41,759
Occupational hazard I suppose.
1266
00:52:41,792 --> 00:52:44,495
See, there's the schmaltz
I was looking for.
1267
00:52:44,529 --> 00:52:46,764
You kind of feel
for the big guy, huh?
1268
00:52:46,797 --> 00:52:48,366
I'm glad we had this talk,
George.
1269
00:52:48,399 --> 00:52:49,567
Oh yeah, me too kiddo.
1270
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:53,604
You know, you just you've
got to hang in there that's all.
1271
00:52:53,638 --> 00:52:54,372
Okay, look.
1272
00:52:54,405 --> 00:52:56,707
Here is your stop,
1273
00:52:56,741 --> 00:52:58,676
I can take it from here.
1274
00:52:58,709 --> 00:53:00,611
Hey, don't forget your cat huh?
1275
00:53:00,645 --> 00:53:01,279
Thanks.
1276
00:53:01,312 --> 00:53:02,380
How about another walk?
1277
00:53:02,413 --> 00:53:03,314
Or a chew toy.
1278
00:53:03,348 --> 00:53:04,715
What, you're still here?
1279
00:53:04,749 --> 00:53:06,551
I am so not going to miss you.
1280
00:53:06,584 --> 00:53:09,554
Forget you, forgot you,
never thought about you.
1281
00:53:09,587 --> 00:53:10,621
Be safe, George.
1282
00:53:10,655 --> 00:53:12,823
I live for safety, Crystal.
1283
00:53:12,857 --> 00:53:15,793
Oh hey, real quick,
when the cops come
1284
00:53:15,826 --> 00:53:18,396
where should I tell them
you put those keys?
1285
00:53:18,429 --> 00:53:20,865
[telephone ringing]
1286
00:53:20,898 --> 00:53:23,601
Huh.
1287
00:53:23,634 --> 00:53:25,636
I thought you said they took
your phone?
1288
00:53:25,670 --> 00:53:28,639
Oh yeah, this is awkward.
1289
00:53:28,673 --> 00:53:32,777
I thought they did too
but oh I'm so embarrassed,
1290
00:53:32,810 --> 00:53:36,714
must be from the concussion from
when they hit me on the head.
1291
00:53:36,747 --> 00:53:38,483
You never said they hit you.
1292
00:53:38,516 --> 00:53:41,552
Oh, I left that out well you
know it all happened so quick.
1293
00:53:41,586 --> 00:53:43,020
Well, this is great.
1294
00:53:43,053 --> 00:53:45,222
We can call the police
now right?
1295
00:53:47,392 --> 00:53:50,761
We're not calling
the police, Crystal.
1296
00:53:50,795 --> 00:53:53,798
George, you devious scoundrel!
1297
00:53:53,831 --> 00:53:57,034
You're the brains of this
operation, aren't you?
1298
00:53:57,067 --> 00:53:59,437
Look, I've got to say I totally
saw that coming
1299
00:53:59,470 --> 00:54:01,806
but you didn't huh?
1300
00:54:01,839 --> 00:54:03,874
Where are the keys, Crystal?
1301
00:54:03,908 --> 00:54:06,777
How could you do this, George?
1302
00:54:06,811 --> 00:54:08,879
Well, that is a long,
complicated story
1303
00:54:08,913 --> 00:54:11,782
which we can get
into another time.
1304
00:54:11,816 --> 00:54:12,883
Ow! Ow!
1305
00:54:12,917 --> 00:54:14,018
Oh!
1306
00:54:14,051 --> 00:54:17,054
Ow, how did this escalate
so quickly?
1307
00:54:17,087 --> 00:54:20,858
[telephone ringing]
1308
00:54:20,891 --> 00:54:24,995
Mom? I can't talk right now,
I'm at work.
1309
00:54:25,029 --> 00:54:28,032
Yes, yes, I need a ride home.
1310
00:54:28,065 --> 00:54:29,099
I need a ride home every time,
1311
00:54:29,133 --> 00:54:31,869
why must we have this
conversation every single,
1312
00:54:31,902 --> 00:54:33,338
every single time.
1313
00:54:33,371 --> 00:54:35,740
Here doggy doggy doggy!
1314
00:54:35,773 --> 00:54:38,609
[cell buzzing]
1315
00:54:38,643 --> 00:54:40,010
Oh, hey boss, what's up?
1316
00:54:40,044 --> 00:54:42,847
Oh hi, I'm just checking to see
how everything's going.
1317
00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:45,049
It's going great, we're
like a well oiled machine.
1318
00:54:45,082 --> 00:54:46,451
This plans full proof.
1319
00:54:46,484 --> 00:54:46,884
Nailed it.
1320
00:54:46,917 --> 00:54:47,952
Really?
1321
00:54:47,985 --> 00:54:49,153
Well, aren't you the least bit
curious
1322
00:54:49,186 --> 00:54:51,689
as to how I can be talking to
you on the phone right now
1323
00:54:51,722 --> 00:54:55,360
when I'm supposed to be
taped to a chair.
1324
00:54:55,393 --> 00:54:56,894
Well, that's a very
good question.
1325
00:54:56,927 --> 00:54:59,964
Well, see this nice little
12 year old girl untied me.
1326
00:54:59,997 --> 00:55:01,566
Well, that was cool of her.
1327
00:55:01,599 --> 00:55:03,901
The same girl who took
your keys.
1328
00:55:03,934 --> 00:55:06,504
That's impossible, the guy
who stole our keys
1329
00:55:06,537 --> 00:55:08,673
was probably an ex-Navy Seal
or something.
1330
00:55:08,706 --> 00:55:09,907
He shot me in the butt.
1331
00:55:09,940 --> 00:55:11,742
You should have seen the way
he handled the paintball gun.
1332
00:55:11,776 --> 00:55:13,778
It was a child, you idiot!
1333
00:55:13,811 --> 00:55:15,946
Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!
1334
00:55:18,949 --> 00:55:20,418
UGH!!!!!
1335
00:55:20,451 --> 00:55:27,658
[groans]
1336
00:55:27,692 --> 00:55:29,627
You okay, George?
1337
00:55:31,529 --> 00:55:32,930
Okay.
1338
00:55:32,963 --> 00:55:35,966
I'm starting to think that based
on all the times
1339
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:38,869
that I busted you guys around
here for stupid stuff,
1340
00:55:38,903 --> 00:55:43,608
combined with the debacle of
what happened tonight,
1341
00:55:43,641 --> 00:55:48,713
I don't believe that you are
cut out for a life of crime.
1342
00:55:48,746 --> 00:55:52,917
I think we're good at it.
1343
00:55:52,950 --> 00:55:55,886
Whose idea was it
to steal the dog?
1344
00:55:55,920 --> 00:55:57,054
George, it was a way
bigger score.
1345
00:55:57,087 --> 00:55:59,023
I didn't need a bigger score,
1346
00:55:59,056 --> 00:56:01,926
all I needed was enough money
for a downpayment on a house
1347
00:56:01,959 --> 00:56:04,028
for when I retire next month.
1348
00:56:04,061 --> 00:56:05,295
But now thanks to you two
numbskulls
1349
00:56:05,329 --> 00:56:11,702
a 12 year old girl is leading
your bigger score out of here!
1350
00:56:11,736 --> 00:56:13,037
So.
1351
00:56:13,070 --> 00:56:16,040
We should probably...
1352
00:56:16,073 --> 00:56:18,676
Prevent her from doing that.
1353
00:56:18,709 --> 00:56:20,511
Now.
1354
00:56:20,545 --> 00:56:21,979
Mmmhmm.
1355
00:56:24,615 --> 00:56:25,950
Oh, now.
1356
00:56:30,054 --> 00:56:31,088
I think he might be angry
with you.
1357
00:56:31,121 --> 00:56:34,925
And the winner of worst
Christmas sweater goes to,
1358
00:56:34,959 --> 00:56:36,827
master of the chicken
quesadilla,
1359
00:56:36,861 --> 00:56:40,931
Taco Gigante's employee of
the month Alejandro Rodriguez!
1360
00:56:40,965 --> 00:56:44,068
[applause]
1361
00:56:44,101 --> 00:56:46,871
Congratulations, I knew
you had it in you.
1362
00:56:46,904 --> 00:56:48,005
Speech!
1363
00:56:48,038 --> 00:56:52,743
Thank you JC, thank you Academy
and thank you family.
1364
00:56:52,777 --> 00:56:54,011
Aww!
1365
00:56:54,044 --> 00:56:58,483
You know, life is like
a soft taco.
1366
00:56:58,516 --> 00:57:00,518
If you dig inside the meat --
1367
00:57:00,551 --> 00:57:03,621
the protein of your choice
1368
00:57:03,654 --> 00:57:05,890
and the salsa added
to your specification
1369
00:57:05,923 --> 00:57:12,229
of mild, medium or caliente you
find the strength to stand tall
1370
00:57:12,262 --> 00:57:16,200
and triumph in the face
of adversity.
1371
00:57:20,905 --> 00:57:21,972
Meow!
1372
00:57:22,006 --> 00:57:23,508
[speaking in Spanish]
1373
00:57:23,541 --> 00:57:25,576
Back off familia, he's mine.
1374
00:57:27,945 --> 00:57:30,481
Sorry you didn't win
worst sweater.
1375
00:57:30,515 --> 00:57:31,482
I was robbed!
1376
00:57:31,516 --> 00:57:33,951
Here's the truth, I was going
to choose you
1377
00:57:33,984 --> 00:57:37,021
but I didn't want everyone to
think that the only reason I did
1378
00:57:37,054 --> 00:57:39,524
was because I like you.
1379
00:57:39,557 --> 00:57:41,526
Even if that's just
some line you're using
1380
00:57:41,559 --> 00:57:44,929
to lower my defenses,
totally worked.
1381
00:57:44,962 --> 00:57:47,598
Yeah.
1382
00:57:47,632 --> 00:57:52,637
My backup plan was to impress
you with my electric log.
1383
00:57:52,670 --> 00:57:55,239
You do have one nice log.
1384
00:57:55,272 --> 00:57:58,042
[laughs]
1385
00:57:58,075 --> 00:58:01,111
But seriously, it's actually
a nostalgia machine.
1386
00:58:01,145 --> 00:58:03,548
Yeah, it invokes a bygone era.
1387
00:58:03,581 --> 00:58:08,553
A simpler time of pure ideals,
asbestos,
1388
00:58:08,586 --> 00:58:09,253
leaded paint.
1389
00:58:09,286 --> 00:58:09,920
Cheez Whiz.
1390
00:58:09,954 --> 00:58:10,955
Cheez Whiz.
1391
00:58:10,988 --> 00:58:12,790
[laughter]
1392
00:58:12,823 --> 00:58:14,124
Thank you for inviting us.
1393
00:58:14,158 --> 00:58:15,660
Of course.
1394
00:58:15,693 --> 00:58:18,062
I'm glad Crystal's here.
1395
00:58:18,095 --> 00:58:18,929
You know, the divorce
1396
00:58:18,963 --> 00:58:20,798
has definitely made her
more introverted
1397
00:58:20,831 --> 00:58:24,134
and she needs to go out
and do things.
1398
00:58:24,168 --> 00:58:26,503
Take some risks.
1399
00:58:35,813 --> 00:58:36,280
Uh oh!
1400
00:58:36,313 --> 00:58:37,815
Give it up, kid!
1401
00:58:41,652 --> 00:58:45,189
Is this the end of the line
for Grumpy and Crystal?
1402
00:58:45,222 --> 00:58:49,193
Will our heroes finally succumb
to a villain so evil
1403
00:58:49,226 --> 00:58:52,663
even evil isn't evil enough
to describe him?
1404
00:58:52,697 --> 00:58:55,199
Am I going to keep
asking questions?
1405
00:58:55,232 --> 00:58:57,201
I will if it annoys you.
1406
00:58:57,234 --> 00:59:02,740
Come back and find out.
1407
00:59:02,773 --> 00:59:04,709
Are you still on the edge
of your seat?
1408
00:59:04,742 --> 00:59:07,077
Is the dramatic tension
too thick?
1409
00:59:07,111 --> 00:59:08,913
Are you still here?
1410
00:59:08,946 --> 00:59:10,748
You are? Why?
1411
00:59:10,781 --> 00:59:12,717
Whatever, back to the story.
1412
00:59:12,750 --> 00:59:14,785
Bum bum bum bum.
1413
00:59:14,819 --> 00:59:21,859
Boom boom boom boom bwaaa,
dun nun nun nun nun!
1414
00:59:21,892 --> 00:59:25,329
Lets check in to see if I'm down
to eight lives yet.
1415
00:59:25,362 --> 00:59:28,065
Oh wow, shocker,
I'm still alive.
1416
00:59:28,098 --> 00:59:30,868
Grumpy Cat didn't die
in her own movie.
1417
00:59:30,901 --> 00:59:31,936
What?
1418
00:59:31,969 --> 00:59:35,372
Yes, I know, it's not
just about me.
1419
00:59:35,405 --> 00:59:38,743
Stop it, ow that hurts!
1420
00:59:38,776 --> 00:59:40,310
George, this isn't right!
1421
00:59:40,344 --> 00:59:42,112
What's Mr. Crabtree
going to do?
1422
00:59:42,146 --> 00:59:44,749
Oh gosh, Mr. Crabtree.
1423
00:59:44,782 --> 00:59:48,886
I totally forgot,
what is he going to do?
1424
00:59:48,919 --> 00:59:50,154
Wait, I remember.
1425
00:59:50,187 --> 00:59:51,321
He's going to pay me
a lot of money
1426
00:59:51,355 --> 00:59:53,290
to get that stupid dog back.
1427
00:59:53,323 --> 00:59:54,892
Ha, high five George!
1428
00:59:54,925 --> 00:59:55,626
No!
1429
00:59:55,660 --> 00:59:56,360
You're a jerk!
1430
00:59:56,393 --> 00:59:58,128
Yeah, who leaves
someone hanging?
1431
00:59:58,162 --> 00:59:58,996
Come on.
1432
00:59:59,029 --> 01:00:00,731
I'm the jerk.
1433
01:00:00,765 --> 01:00:02,633
I'm the jerk.
1434
01:00:02,667 --> 01:00:04,134
Me, the guy who fooled everybody
1435
01:00:04,168 --> 01:00:06,771
by pretending to be a big
blowhard
1436
01:00:06,804 --> 01:00:08,906
when in fact he was just
lulling them all
1437
01:00:08,939 --> 01:00:12,276
into a false sense of
complacency and trust.
1438
01:00:12,309 --> 01:00:13,277
That's right.
1439
01:00:13,310 --> 01:00:14,344
Me, the jerk?
1440
01:00:14,378 --> 01:00:16,814
Who rode around this mall
in that stupid scooter
1441
01:00:16,847 --> 01:00:20,217
enforcing the law but the whole
time all I was thinking about
1442
01:00:20,250 --> 01:00:22,853
was breaking it.
1443
01:00:22,887 --> 01:00:24,288
That jerk?
1444
01:00:24,321 --> 01:00:27,658
So, are you still pretending
to be a big blowhard or what?
1445
01:00:27,692 --> 01:00:28,759
Jerk.
1446
01:00:28,793 --> 01:00:30,828
I don't think so.
1447
01:00:30,861 --> 01:00:32,730
Pffft!!!
1448
01:00:32,763 --> 01:00:34,899
Mastermind.
1449
01:00:34,932 --> 01:00:36,734
Oh yes.
1450
01:00:36,767 --> 01:00:40,671
Oh no, yeah, you're a limp
short of being Keyser Soze.
1451
01:00:40,705 --> 01:00:44,341
Now, about those keys.
1452
01:00:44,374 --> 01:00:45,743
Yeah, those keys.
1453
01:00:45,776 --> 01:00:48,078
About them.
1454
01:00:48,112 --> 01:00:49,880
I forgot where I put them.
1455
01:00:49,914 --> 01:00:52,416
Oh man, what are we going to do?
1456
01:00:52,449 --> 01:00:53,884
We're screwed!
1457
01:00:53,918 --> 01:00:57,121
She's lying, right?
1458
01:00:57,154 --> 01:00:58,689
Obviously.
1459
01:00:58,723 --> 01:00:59,389
Oh.
1460
01:00:59,423 --> 01:01:01,391
That's very convincing.
1461
01:01:01,425 --> 01:01:04,762
Okay, you and you go find
a nice piranha
1462
01:01:04,795 --> 01:01:06,731
or scorpion to play with.
1463
01:01:06,764 --> 01:01:08,332
Is he serious?
1464
01:01:13,503 --> 01:01:15,105
Alright, now listen to me.
1465
01:01:15,139 --> 01:01:16,907
I'm not fooling around anymore,
Crystal,
1466
01:01:16,941 --> 01:01:19,877
I mean I'm out of patience.
1467
01:01:19,910 --> 01:01:22,813
Now, you tell me
where those keys are
1468
01:01:22,847 --> 01:01:25,382
or somebody is going
to get hurt.
1469
01:01:25,415 --> 01:01:29,887
You wouldn't really hurt
a little girl, would you?
1470
01:01:29,920 --> 01:01:30,788
What do I look like?
1471
01:01:30,821 --> 01:01:32,089
A nut job?
1472
01:01:32,122 --> 01:01:33,858
I'm greedy, I'm not evil,
1473
01:01:33,891 --> 01:01:35,259
which I think is important
to point out
1474
01:01:35,292 --> 01:01:37,194
are two completely
different things.
1475
01:01:37,227 --> 01:01:41,732
One is the foundation
of our economic system
1476
01:01:41,766 --> 01:01:45,369
and the other,
you know just bad.
1477
01:01:45,402 --> 01:01:50,307
Okay, I'm not really following
you but.
1478
01:01:50,340 --> 01:01:54,244
I'm not going to hurt you,
Crystal.
1479
01:01:54,278 --> 01:01:58,215
I will however hurt the cat.
1480
01:01:58,248 --> 01:01:59,817
Whoa, what? Me cat?
1481
01:01:59,850 --> 01:02:01,085
Don't!
1482
01:02:01,118 --> 01:02:05,389
Now, what was it you said about
the cat being your best friend?
1483
01:02:05,422 --> 01:02:09,760
So sweet, it really tugged
at my heartstrings.
1484
01:02:09,794 --> 01:02:11,962
Which would make it
all the worse
1485
01:02:11,996 --> 01:02:15,232
if something bad were to happen
to the little guy.
1486
01:02:15,265 --> 01:02:15,900
Grumpy.
1487
01:02:15,933 --> 01:02:17,234
First of all, I'm a she.
1488
01:02:17,267 --> 01:02:18,903
Why is that so hard to grasp?
1489
01:02:18,936 --> 01:02:21,471
And second of all,
pfft he's bluffing.
1490
01:02:21,505 --> 01:02:22,539
I'm not scared.
1491
01:02:22,572 --> 01:02:25,242
Now, I'm going to give you
three seconds to tell me
1492
01:02:25,275 --> 01:02:28,779
where those keys are or I'm
going to put the kitty cat
1493
01:02:28,813 --> 01:02:31,215
in the trash compactor.
1494
01:02:31,248 --> 01:02:31,882
No!
1495
01:02:31,916 --> 01:02:32,917
Whoa, he's not bluffing!
1496
01:02:32,950 --> 01:02:34,018
He's not bluffing!
1497
01:02:34,051 --> 01:02:35,786
He's petting me way
too diabolically.
1498
01:02:35,820 --> 01:02:37,321
Tell him Crystal,
you've got to tell him!
1499
01:02:37,354 --> 01:02:38,355
One!
1500
01:02:38,388 --> 01:02:39,824
I threw them in
the wishing well!
1501
01:02:39,857 --> 01:02:41,025
Oh god, thank you.
1502
01:02:41,058 --> 01:02:42,226
Haha.
1503
01:02:44,361 --> 01:02:46,363
Look at this huge frog.
1504
01:02:48,565 --> 01:02:50,300
We're on it.
1505
01:02:50,334 --> 01:02:52,002
Lets go, Patrick.
1506
01:02:54,839 --> 01:02:59,009
See? That wasn't so hard,
was it?
1507
01:02:59,043 --> 01:03:01,445
Look, I never thought
I was in danger okay?
1508
01:03:01,478 --> 01:03:03,480
It's my movie after all
and I'm sure
1509
01:03:03,513 --> 01:03:06,583
the Lifetime executives are
already thinking sequel!
1510
01:03:06,616 --> 01:03:11,889
Like Grumpy's Worst Vacation
Ever, Meowii Style.
1511
01:03:11,922 --> 01:03:14,358
Anyway, since you're still
watching this for some reason
1512
01:03:14,391 --> 01:03:16,160
I thought now
would be a perfect time
1513
01:03:16,193 --> 01:03:19,563
to see if you're interested
in my new product line!
1514
01:03:19,596 --> 01:03:23,300
Like Grumpy Cat golf balls,
or the Grumpy Cat dartboard.
1515
01:03:23,333 --> 01:03:27,037
And for the ladies a sure
fire hit, Grumpy underwear.
1516
01:03:27,071 --> 01:03:28,572
To see what else is new this
season please visit
1517
01:03:28,605 --> 01:03:30,440
www.GrumpyCats.com.
1518
01:03:30,474 --> 01:03:31,575
Please be grumpy when you do it.
1519
01:03:31,608 --> 01:03:33,610
Grumpy people only.
1520
01:03:33,643 --> 01:03:35,345
Nice kitty.
1521
01:03:35,379 --> 01:03:37,181
Kind of odd looking, though.
1522
01:03:37,214 --> 01:03:39,950
I don't see your face
on any holiday cards.
1523
01:03:39,984 --> 01:03:43,487
Come on, lets get you something
to eat.
1524
01:03:43,520 --> 01:03:45,189
Stay!
1525
01:03:48,458 --> 01:03:50,928
So, anyway that's how
the story ended.
1526
01:03:50,961 --> 01:03:53,898
The bad guys made off with
the overpriced freak dog
1527
01:03:53,931 --> 01:03:57,467
and evil triumphed over good.
1528
01:03:57,501 --> 01:03:59,236
So sad.
1529
01:04:55,192 --> 01:04:57,027
I'm not going to sugarcoat
it people,
1530
01:04:57,061 --> 01:05:01,565
this happy, sappy Christmas
story had taken an ugly turn.
1531
01:05:01,598 --> 01:05:05,369
Things were looking grim
and poor Crystal,
1532
01:05:05,402 --> 01:05:09,940
she was looking lower than
a cat caught in a rain storm.
1533
01:05:09,974 --> 01:05:11,976
Can you blame her?
1534
01:05:12,009 --> 01:05:15,045
Once again she'd been let down
by someone,
1535
01:05:15,079 --> 01:05:17,447
her faith in people was shaken.
1536
01:05:17,481 --> 01:05:19,716
Wasn't there anyone
to step forward
1537
01:05:19,749 --> 01:05:23,053
in this desperate moment
to boost her spirit,
1538
01:05:23,087 --> 01:05:24,989
to make her feel
like not all humanity
1539
01:05:25,022 --> 01:05:28,292
was rotten to the core?
1540
01:05:28,325 --> 01:05:31,395
Don't look at me, I don't
do motivational, sorry.
1541
01:05:31,428 --> 01:05:33,530
That's Happy Cat.
1542
01:05:33,563 --> 01:05:35,565
I'm Grumpy Cat.
1543
01:05:35,599 --> 01:05:41,371
But truth is I dug down deep
and consulted my inner grump
1544
01:05:41,405 --> 01:05:44,741
and realized that it was time
to help a kid
1545
01:05:44,774 --> 01:05:48,278
I was actually starting
to care about.
1546
01:05:48,312 --> 01:05:50,347
Are you crying, Crystal?
1547
01:05:50,380 --> 01:05:53,083
No, I'm allergic to cats,
what do you think?
1548
01:05:53,117 --> 01:05:55,385
Okay, I'm going to let
that one go.
1549
01:05:55,419 --> 01:05:57,687
Come on Crystal,
just talk to me.
1550
01:05:57,721 --> 01:06:02,159
Why? What's talk going to do?
1551
01:06:02,192 --> 01:06:06,630
I can't change anything,
especially people.
1552
01:06:06,663 --> 01:06:08,765
I try to make friends, Grumpy.
1553
01:06:08,798 --> 01:06:11,501
I try to see the good
in everyone,
1554
01:06:11,535 --> 01:06:14,438
I stupidly even thought
that George was my friend.
1555
01:06:14,471 --> 01:06:16,106
Nope! Never was!
1556
01:06:16,140 --> 01:06:17,741
See?
1557
01:06:17,774 --> 01:06:20,744
I just feel like my life
will always be a disappointment.
1558
01:06:20,777 --> 01:06:22,746
I know what that's like, okay.
1559
01:06:22,779 --> 01:06:23,980
Trust me.
1560
01:06:24,014 --> 01:06:27,717
Having been bought and returned
a couple times I get it.
1561
01:06:27,751 --> 01:06:30,420
Can I trade her for a fish?
1562
01:06:30,454 --> 01:06:33,457
It makes you feel like there's
no love in the world.
1563
01:06:33,490 --> 01:06:38,462
It makes you feel, well, grumpy.
1564
01:06:38,495 --> 01:06:44,134
But you're different, Crystal,
you're full of love.
1565
01:06:44,168 --> 01:06:47,437
What good is love if nobody
gives it back?
1566
01:06:47,471 --> 01:06:51,075
That's how we feel too,
every day people walk in here
1567
01:06:51,108 --> 01:06:53,810
to coo over the puppies
and the rabbits
1568
01:06:53,843 --> 01:06:57,814
and the Jo-Jo's
and ignore us.
1569
01:06:57,847 --> 01:06:58,348
True dat!
1570
01:06:58,382 --> 01:06:59,516
Spot on, Grumpy!
1571
01:06:59,549 --> 01:07:00,517
Preach it, sister!
1572
01:07:00,550 --> 01:07:01,785
Freedom!
1573
01:07:01,818 --> 01:07:02,986
So, you know what?
1574
01:07:03,019 --> 01:07:07,157
Contrary to the sign on
the door we're not pets,
1575
01:07:07,191 --> 01:07:09,759
I mean until somebody takes us
home and cares for us
1576
01:07:09,793 --> 01:07:13,130
and loves us we're just animals.
1577
01:07:13,163 --> 01:07:13,697
Yup.
1578
01:07:13,730 --> 01:07:14,498
Well said.
1579
01:07:14,531 --> 01:07:15,565
Just animals.
1580
01:07:15,599 --> 01:07:16,733
And reptiles.
1581
01:07:16,766 --> 01:07:19,569
And as far as I can tell humans
are no different.
1582
01:07:19,603 --> 01:07:21,338
You're actually making
me sadder.
1583
01:07:21,371 --> 01:07:24,408
Okay, well it's your low point,
deal with it.
1584
01:07:24,441 --> 01:07:28,145
But what I'm trying to say
is you are loved.
1585
01:07:28,178 --> 01:07:31,648
Your mom loves you, look at her,
she loves you.
1586
01:07:31,681 --> 01:07:33,217
Taco guy loves you.
1587
01:07:33,250 --> 01:07:34,218
That guy loves you.
1588
01:07:34,251 --> 01:07:35,152
Who is that guy?
1589
01:07:35,185 --> 01:07:37,121
Even your dad loves you.
1590
01:07:37,154 --> 01:07:41,191
Why? Because you're
the amazing you.
1591
01:07:41,225 --> 01:07:45,162
And that is why I've decided
to adopt you.
1592
01:07:45,195 --> 01:07:46,530
That's right.
1593
01:07:46,563 --> 01:07:49,766
You're now on Team Grumpy
whether you like it or not.
1594
01:07:49,799 --> 01:07:53,337
In fact, from this moment
on you're all on Team Grumpy!
1595
01:07:53,370 --> 01:07:55,105
[cheers]
1596
01:07:55,139 --> 01:07:56,106
Team Grumpy!
1597
01:07:56,140 --> 01:07:57,741
Uh, can we call it
something else?
1598
01:07:57,774 --> 01:08:00,410
And this team is going to win.
1599
01:08:00,444 --> 01:08:03,347
Wearing Grumpy t-shirts and
Grumpy baseball caps
1600
01:08:03,380 --> 01:08:06,350
and Grumpy glow in the dark
buttons, am I right?
1601
01:08:06,383 --> 01:08:08,752
Boo, Team Grumpy sucks!!!
1602
01:08:08,785 --> 01:08:09,719
I don't want your swag.
1603
01:08:09,753 --> 01:08:10,854
Shame on you, Grumpy.
1604
01:08:10,887 --> 01:08:11,888
Shut up!
1605
01:08:11,921 --> 01:08:13,857
Every team needs a sponsor,
come on.
1606
01:08:13,890 --> 01:08:16,693
Do you really think we can still
do something to save the store?
1607
01:08:16,726 --> 01:08:17,994
Do I?
1608
01:08:18,027 --> 01:08:20,664
There must be a million ways
to stop these idiots.
1609
01:08:20,697 --> 01:08:22,332
I just haven't thought of
one yet.
1610
01:08:22,366 --> 01:08:23,167
Oh man.
1611
01:08:23,200 --> 01:08:24,834
No shocker there.
1612
01:08:24,868 --> 01:08:26,270
Cats blow!
1613
01:08:26,303 --> 01:08:27,604
Okay, wait for it, people.
1614
01:08:27,637 --> 01:08:29,005
I'm building here.
1615
01:08:29,038 --> 01:08:32,742
We implore the fates to smile
upon this ragtag assembly
1616
01:08:32,776 --> 01:08:33,910
of freedom fighters.
1617
01:08:33,943 --> 01:08:38,348
We few, we happy few,
we band of brothers.
1618
01:08:38,382 --> 01:08:39,583
Come on fates.
1619
01:08:39,616 --> 01:08:41,551
Oh, it's open.
1620
01:08:41,585 --> 01:08:43,387
Well, look at that.
1621
01:08:43,420 --> 01:08:44,821
Let me at em!
1622
01:08:44,854 --> 01:08:47,391
It's clobbering time.
1623
01:08:47,424 --> 01:08:49,726
Good show, now you're talking
G Cat.
1624
01:08:49,759 --> 01:08:50,594
Meow.
1625
01:08:50,627 --> 01:08:51,861
Thank you, Grumpy.
1626
01:08:51,895 --> 01:08:54,431
Time to get scary.
1627
01:08:54,464 --> 01:08:55,332
Oh, not me.
1628
01:08:55,365 --> 01:08:56,366
No.
1629
01:08:56,400 --> 01:08:58,402
I'll undo the young
ladies binds.
1630
01:09:00,704 --> 01:09:02,439
Piece of cake, really.
1631
01:09:05,542 --> 01:09:09,546
Hey mom, yeah, a friend is going
to give me a ride.
1632
01:09:09,579 --> 01:09:10,780
No.
1633
01:09:10,814 --> 01:09:14,584
No, you don't know him.
1634
01:09:14,618 --> 01:09:15,885
Yeah, I met him at the mall.
1635
01:09:15,919 --> 01:09:18,822
Shh, I'm going to enjoy this.
1636
01:09:18,855 --> 01:09:19,956
He might like pot roast.
1637
01:09:19,989 --> 01:09:21,725
I like pot roast.
1638
01:09:21,758 --> 01:09:23,960
Alright, I'll ask him
if he likes pot roast.
1639
01:09:23,993 --> 01:09:24,828
Pot roast?
1640
01:09:24,861 --> 01:09:25,629
Oh, count me in.
1641
01:09:25,662 --> 01:09:26,930
He's got to drive
the speed limit.
1642
01:09:26,963 --> 01:09:29,333
I'm, you know, wearing
my badge right?
1643
01:09:29,366 --> 01:09:30,434
What else am I going to do?
1644
01:09:30,467 --> 01:09:31,268
Surprise!
1645
01:09:31,301 --> 01:09:33,303
Ah! Ah! Ah!
1646
01:09:33,337 --> 01:09:34,704
Wee!
1647
01:09:34,738 --> 01:09:35,705
Slimy, slithering...
1648
01:09:35,739 --> 01:09:37,874
[Barking]
1649
01:09:37,907 --> 01:09:39,309
Oh hello, aren't you cute.
1650
01:09:39,343 --> 01:09:40,477
I smell crotch.
1651
01:09:40,510 --> 01:09:41,645
Yeah!
1652
01:09:41,678 --> 01:09:43,713
Oh! Oh! Oh!
1653
01:09:43,747 --> 01:09:44,881
Let go! Let go!
1654
01:09:44,914 --> 01:09:45,749
Oh! Oh! Oh!
1655
01:09:45,782 --> 01:09:46,783
Let go!
1656
01:09:46,816 --> 01:09:52,722
Ah! Ah! Ah!
1657
01:09:52,756 --> 01:09:54,858
Well, I hope he didn't
want children.
1658
01:09:54,891 --> 01:09:56,993
Holy crap, they're possessed.
1659
01:09:57,026 --> 01:09:59,229
Get back, get back all of you!
1660
01:09:59,996 --> 01:10:02,399
Ow! Ow!
1661
01:10:02,432 --> 01:10:03,367
Give me that!
1662
01:10:03,400 --> 01:10:05,402
How'd you get free?
1663
01:10:05,435 --> 01:10:08,272
With a little help
from my friends.
1664
01:10:08,305 --> 01:10:10,440
Ho-Yaaah!!!!!
1665
01:10:10,474 --> 01:10:12,876
Hands in the air, sucker!
1666
01:10:12,909 --> 01:10:13,843
Bawk!
1667
01:10:13,877 --> 01:10:15,879
Oh, give me that.
1668
01:10:15,912 --> 01:10:17,013
You're 12 years old.
1669
01:10:17,046 --> 01:10:18,715
This isn't your day, Crystal,
1670
01:10:18,748 --> 01:10:20,817
and it isn't your day either
you dumb animals!
1671
01:10:20,850 --> 01:10:22,419
This is George's day!
1672
01:10:22,452 --> 01:10:23,620
Come on!
1673
01:10:23,653 --> 01:10:24,688
What about the snacks?
1674
01:10:24,721 --> 01:10:25,489
We did it!
1675
01:10:25,522 --> 01:10:27,724
Yay!
1676
01:10:27,757 --> 01:10:28,925
Victory!
1677
01:10:28,958 --> 01:10:32,362
Um, did anyone notice
he still has the dog?
1678
01:10:32,396 --> 01:10:33,430
Blast, you're right.
1679
01:10:33,463 --> 01:10:34,864
Take back the yay.
1680
01:10:37,701 --> 01:10:39,803
Oh, how fortunate.
1681
01:10:44,808 --> 01:10:55,585
[Christmas tune being played
out of tune]
1682
01:10:55,619 --> 01:10:56,853
That was truly awful.
1683
01:10:56,886 --> 01:10:59,623
[applause]
1684
01:11:04,894 --> 01:11:07,731
We should take kazoo caroling
door to door, no?
1685
01:11:07,764 --> 01:11:08,665
I wouldn't.
1686
01:11:08,698 --> 01:11:10,900
Neighbours called,
they think you're Satan.
1687
01:11:10,934 --> 01:11:13,002
Satan. Santa.
1688
01:11:13,036 --> 01:11:15,472
Same letters switched around.
1689
01:11:15,505 --> 01:11:16,640
Interesting.
1690
01:11:16,673 --> 01:11:18,742
And which one are you again?
1691
01:11:18,775 --> 01:11:20,009
There's only one way
to find out.
1692
01:11:20,043 --> 01:11:23,313
La, la, la, la, la, get a room.
1693
01:11:23,347 --> 01:11:24,581
[telephone ringing]
1694
01:11:24,614 --> 01:11:25,349
Meow.
1695
01:11:25,382 --> 01:11:25,982
Sorry.
1696
01:11:26,015 --> 01:11:27,317
It's okay.
1697
01:11:27,351 --> 01:11:29,553
[telephone ringing]
1698
01:11:29,586 --> 01:11:30,920
If you're selling
I'm not buying.
1699
01:11:30,954 --> 01:11:32,055
Mom, it's Crystal!
1700
01:11:32,088 --> 01:11:33,056
Whose phone is this?
1701
01:11:33,089 --> 01:11:34,491
George and those
two other morons
1702
01:11:34,524 --> 01:11:35,792
are trying to steal Jo-Jo!
1703
01:11:35,825 --> 01:11:37,361
Slow down, who's Jo-Jo?
1704
01:11:37,394 --> 01:11:39,463
He's a really expensive dog!
1705
01:11:39,496 --> 01:11:40,730
Wait, wait, where are you?
1706
01:11:40,764 --> 01:11:42,499
At the mall!
1707
01:11:42,532 --> 01:11:43,500
What are you doing at the mall?
1708
01:11:43,533 --> 01:11:45,735
And what are you doing not
in the other room?
1709
01:11:45,769 --> 01:11:47,337
I came back to see Grumpy.
1710
01:11:47,371 --> 01:11:48,505
Hey mom.
1711
01:11:48,538 --> 01:11:50,640
Because she can talk to me.
1712
01:11:50,674 --> 01:11:51,975
I am so confused right now.
1713
01:11:52,008 --> 01:11:53,810
Mom, just get here quick.
1714
01:11:53,843 --> 01:11:55,879
Call the police
and Mr. Crabtree.
1715
01:11:55,912 --> 01:11:57,614
I can hold them off
until you get here.
1716
01:11:57,647 --> 01:11:59,783
Wait, Crystal, no you have
to leave there right now!
1717
01:11:59,816 --> 01:12:00,984
Gotta go!
1718
01:12:01,017 --> 01:12:03,653
Hello?
1719
01:12:03,687 --> 01:12:06,656
Excellent, the plot is
finally coming together.
1720
01:12:06,690 --> 01:12:11,628
That moment of literary alchemy
when smoke turns to fire!
1721
01:12:11,661 --> 01:12:15,365
Now, if only I could remember
where I put my mousey toy.
1722
01:12:19,636 --> 01:12:22,606
of the Serengeti. to Catvent
1723
01:12:22,639 --> 01:12:25,542
Shh, we're on safari!
1724
01:12:25,575 --> 01:12:28,578
Watch the female hippo
follow the male hippo
1725
01:12:28,612 --> 01:12:30,714
into the watering hole.
1726
01:12:30,747 --> 01:12:33,883
Soon, the two will batter
each other with their snouts
1727
01:12:33,917 --> 01:12:38,087
in a splashtastic mating frenzy.
1728
01:12:38,121 --> 01:12:42,459
Oops, sorry that's my other
show, um,
1729
01:12:42,492 --> 01:12:45,662
also on this network
and available on demand.
1730
01:12:45,695 --> 01:12:47,130
Anyway, Crystal.
1731
01:12:47,163 --> 01:12:48,532
Hiyeah!
1732
01:12:48,565 --> 01:12:49,132
Bad guy.
1733
01:12:49,165 --> 01:12:50,634
This is George's day!
1734
01:12:50,667 --> 01:12:51,501
Some dog.
1735
01:12:51,535 --> 01:12:52,569
I like pot roast.
1736
01:12:52,602 --> 01:12:53,737
And me.
1737
01:12:53,770 --> 01:12:56,873
Um, did anyone notice he still
has the dog?
1738
01:12:56,906 --> 01:12:58,508
And now back to our show.
1739
01:12:58,542 --> 01:13:00,410
We can't let them get away
with Jo-Jo.
1740
01:13:07,984 --> 01:13:11,755
Dude, I have like $8
here already.
1741
01:13:11,788 --> 01:13:14,424
What's with all the pennies man,
people are so cheap.
1742
01:13:14,458 --> 01:13:15,391
Hey!
1743
01:13:15,425 --> 01:13:17,961
Oh hey, George, we were
just coming for you.
1744
01:13:17,994 --> 01:13:18,962
What the hell are you doing?
1745
01:13:18,995 --> 01:13:21,097
Be awhile until I get another
parking ticket.
1746
01:13:21,130 --> 01:13:23,500
Look at all this coin, man.
1747
01:13:23,533 --> 01:13:24,434
Ow.
1748
01:13:24,468 --> 01:13:26,069
Will you two knuckleheads
freaking focus,
1749
01:13:26,102 --> 01:13:26,970
where are the keys?
1750
01:13:27,003 --> 01:13:29,773
Right here, man.
1751
01:13:29,806 --> 01:13:30,940
Ow.
1752
01:13:30,974 --> 01:13:33,977
Good thing you didn't go
commando, right?
1753
01:13:34,010 --> 01:13:35,579
Yeah, because somebody
did a crappy job
1754
01:13:35,612 --> 01:13:37,080
tying up the little girl.
1755
01:13:37,113 --> 01:13:38,548
Should I name names?
1756
01:13:38,582 --> 01:13:40,650
Does it start with a Z?
1757
01:13:40,684 --> 01:13:42,185
Or a D?
1758
01:13:43,553 --> 01:13:44,888
Can we just get out of here?
1759
01:13:44,921 --> 01:13:45,822
Now!
1760
01:13:45,855 --> 01:13:47,691
Yay, we're going to save
the day.
1761
01:13:54,798 --> 01:13:55,965
I'm going to call
Crabtree tomorrow
1762
01:13:55,999 --> 01:13:57,701
and I'm going to state
our terms.
1763
01:13:57,734 --> 01:13:59,569
State our terms!
1764
01:13:59,603 --> 01:14:00,704
Alright, when we get the buyer
to pay up
1765
01:14:00,737 --> 01:14:04,240
do you two idiots think that you
can handle the exchange?
1766
01:14:04,273 --> 01:14:05,509
Hell yeah.
1767
01:14:05,542 --> 01:14:07,143
Where are you going to be?
1768
01:14:07,176 --> 01:14:08,712
Well, my timeline has changed.
1769
01:14:08,745 --> 01:14:09,979
I'm leaving tonight.
1770
01:14:10,013 --> 01:14:13,517
And by the way, guess who gets
to drop me off at the airport?
1771
01:14:13,550 --> 01:14:15,151
As long as you chip in for gas.
1772
01:14:17,954 --> 01:14:19,923
You could pay us back, bro.
It's no biggie.
1773
01:14:30,934 --> 01:14:32,536
Oh no, we're too late!
1774
01:14:35,138 --> 01:14:37,541
[car starting]
1775
01:14:37,574 --> 01:14:38,675
Grumpy?
1776
01:14:38,708 --> 01:14:41,545
Don't question this,
just hop in sister!
1777
01:14:41,578 --> 01:14:43,112
Grumpy, are you serious?
1778
01:14:43,146 --> 01:14:45,715
Of course I'm serious,
look at my face!
1779
01:14:45,749 --> 01:14:46,650
Buckle up.
1780
01:14:46,683 --> 01:14:49,586
But you're a cat,
how are you going to...
1781
01:14:51,655 --> 01:14:52,689
How is this even possible?
1782
01:14:52,722 --> 01:14:54,123
You can't even reach the pedals!
1783
01:14:55,959 --> 01:14:57,594
Thanks, you had to say that.
1784
01:14:57,627 --> 01:14:58,995
Is this not my movie?
1785
01:14:59,028 --> 01:15:01,731
Why couldn't you just
go with it?
1786
01:15:01,765 --> 01:15:03,900
Okay, that never happened.
1787
01:15:03,933 --> 01:15:05,001
This did.
1788
01:15:05,034 --> 01:15:06,235
Oh no, we're too late!
1789
01:15:06,269 --> 01:15:07,937
We'll never catch them on this!
1790
01:15:07,971 --> 01:15:09,773
Lets take the Camaro!
1791
01:15:09,806 --> 01:15:11,240
I don't know how to drive!
1792
01:15:11,274 --> 01:15:12,609
Don't worry, it's like riding
a bike
1793
01:15:12,642 --> 01:15:14,578
but everything is different
so you have to be careful
1794
01:15:14,611 --> 01:15:16,680
or you could die.
1795
01:15:16,713 --> 01:15:17,881
Why not.
1796
01:15:20,984 --> 01:15:23,553
Try the visor.
1797
01:15:23,587 --> 01:15:24,654
Aha!
1798
01:15:24,688 --> 01:15:25,254
How did you?
1799
01:15:25,288 --> 01:15:26,890
We are in a movie!
1800
01:15:29,258 --> 01:15:30,994
Punch it.
1801
01:15:31,027 --> 01:15:33,196
Come on, come on,
they're getting away.
1802
01:15:36,966 --> 01:15:38,902
Meow!
1803
01:15:44,808 --> 01:15:46,710
[Christmas music]
1804
01:15:46,743 --> 01:15:47,343
Did we die?
1805
01:15:47,376 --> 01:15:48,311
Am I in heaven?
1806
01:15:48,344 --> 01:15:49,846
Is my brother Arturo here?
1807
01:15:49,879 --> 01:15:50,747
Arturo?
1808
01:15:50,780 --> 01:15:52,348
Oh my god, what did I do?
1809
01:15:52,381 --> 01:15:56,085
Ha, something I've been wanting
to do since Thanksgiving.
1810
01:15:56,119 --> 01:16:00,289
But maybe we should try going
forward this time.
1811
01:16:00,323 --> 01:16:05,361
[tires screeching]
1812
01:16:05,394 --> 01:16:07,797
Could you have parked
any further away?
1813
01:16:07,831 --> 01:16:11,034
We scored the shade tree,
we never get this spot.
1814
01:16:11,067 --> 01:16:12,168
It's night!
1815
01:16:12,201 --> 01:16:13,236
And what's with the clown car,
1816
01:16:13,269 --> 01:16:14,771
could it be any smaller?
1817
01:16:14,804 --> 01:16:16,706
Hey, I'm reducing
my carbon footprint.
1818
01:16:16,740 --> 01:16:18,808
Hey, I'm going to put a
footprint right up your -
1819
01:16:18,842 --> 01:16:20,343
Meow!
1820
01:16:20,376 --> 01:16:24,380
I promise you a car chase
and I'm delivering a car chase.
1821
01:16:24,413 --> 01:16:25,982
Yeah!
1822
01:16:26,015 --> 01:16:26,883
I'm driving!
1823
01:16:26,916 --> 01:16:27,784
I'm driving!
1824
01:16:27,817 --> 01:16:29,052
I can't believe I'm driving!
1825
01:16:34,190 --> 01:16:35,124
Those are doors!
1826
01:16:35,158 --> 01:16:36,192
I know that!
1827
01:16:37,994 --> 01:16:39,896
This is the moment where
we're going to blast
1828
01:16:39,929 --> 01:16:41,297
through this wall of glass
1829
01:16:41,330 --> 01:16:44,868
as a hail of crystal shards
rain down on our triumphant,
1830
01:16:44,901 --> 01:16:46,770
heroic figures.
1831
01:16:58,715 --> 01:16:59,883
Okay, so here's the deal.
1832
01:16:59,916 --> 01:17:01,117
We had every intention
of shattering that thing
1833
01:17:01,150 --> 01:17:04,954
but unfortunately we didn't have
the budget for it, okay?
1834
01:17:04,988 --> 01:17:06,856
Not my problem.
1835
01:17:16,265 --> 01:17:17,100
This is great.
1836
01:17:17,133 --> 01:17:18,001
Is everybody comfortable?
1837
01:17:18,034 --> 01:17:19,736
I'm actually a little cold.
1838
01:17:19,769 --> 01:17:20,937
Turn the heat up, my man.
1839
01:17:20,970 --> 01:17:22,806
Don't mind if I do, old chap.
1840
01:17:22,839 --> 01:17:24,808
It kind of smells in here.
1841
01:17:24,841 --> 01:17:26,209
How'd you morons fit all
your band equipment
1842
01:17:26,242 --> 01:17:27,811
in this puke bucket anyway?
1843
01:17:27,844 --> 01:17:29,345
Oh, have you ever played Tetris?
1844
01:17:29,378 --> 01:17:30,413
It's kind of like that.
1845
01:17:30,446 --> 01:17:32,849
But not anymore because
we're getting a tour bus!
1846
01:17:32,882 --> 01:17:34,250
Tour bus!
1847
01:17:35,752 --> 01:17:36,252
What the?
1848
01:17:36,285 --> 01:17:37,653
It's Crystal!
1849
01:17:42,425 --> 01:17:45,228
Aw, why didn't we take
the Camaro?
1850
01:17:45,261 --> 01:17:46,863
Lets dance, clown car!
1851
01:17:49,465 --> 01:17:50,433
That's it, Crystal.
1852
01:17:50,466 --> 01:17:52,668
Surround them in
a circle of death.
1853
01:17:56,239 --> 01:17:57,373
Oh god, I think
I'm getting sick.
1854
01:18:06,182 --> 01:18:07,350
We need to find a way in.
1855
01:18:14,123 --> 01:18:15,391
Crystal?
1856
01:18:17,493 --> 01:18:18,795
Whoa, meow!
1857
01:18:18,828 --> 01:18:21,230
Meow!
1858
01:18:21,264 --> 01:18:22,498
We've got to stop them.
1859
01:18:22,531 --> 01:18:23,967
Pass them on the left.
1860
01:18:24,000 --> 01:18:26,102
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
1861
01:18:26,135 --> 01:18:28,071
This is awesome.
1862
01:18:28,104 --> 01:18:29,806
What is this kid doing?
1863
01:18:29,839 --> 01:18:32,942
Meow.
1864
01:18:32,976 --> 01:18:35,845
[tires screech]
1865
01:18:35,879 --> 01:18:37,246
Wow, have you done this before?
1866
01:18:41,417 --> 01:18:42,485
What do I do, Grumpy?
1867
01:18:42,518 --> 01:18:45,989
This kind of throw down requires
nerves of steel.
1868
01:18:46,022 --> 01:18:48,257
And a better soundtrack.
1869
01:18:48,291 --> 01:18:50,159
[upbeat disco tempo]
***
1870
01:18:50,193 --> 01:18:51,861
Ugh, I said better.
1871
01:18:51,895 --> 01:18:53,029
[western tempo]
***
1872
01:18:53,062 --> 01:18:56,065
Okay good, thank you,
that's more like it.
1873
01:18:56,099 --> 01:19:04,140
*
1874
01:19:12,916 --> 01:19:14,517
Time to finish what we started.
1875
01:19:15,151 --> 01:19:26,062
*
1876
01:19:26,095 --> 01:19:28,497
Are you ready?
1877
01:19:28,531 --> 01:19:31,901
*
1878
01:19:31,935 --> 01:19:32,668
Just go!
1879
01:19:32,701 --> 01:19:36,239
Step on it and don't flinch.
1880
01:19:36,272 --> 01:19:39,475
[tires screech]
1881
01:19:42,846 --> 01:19:44,380
This is so cool!
1882
01:19:46,115 --> 01:19:47,450
Why did I let you talk me
into this?
1883
01:19:50,186 --> 01:19:51,387
Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
1884
01:19:51,420 --> 01:19:53,522
[tires screeching]
1885
01:19:53,556 --> 01:19:57,393
Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
1886
01:19:57,426 --> 01:19:59,362
For those of you who are
keeping score
1887
01:19:59,395 --> 01:20:01,130
we did have enough in
the budget to destroy
1888
01:20:01,164 --> 01:20:02,565
that cheap piece of scenery.
1889
01:20:04,968 --> 01:20:05,969
Yes!
1890
01:20:06,002 --> 01:20:08,304
Uh, Crystal?
1891
01:20:08,337 --> 01:20:10,273
Uh, crash positions!
1892
01:20:10,306 --> 01:20:12,041
Meow!
1893
01:20:15,644 --> 01:20:17,046
Grumpy, no!
1894
01:20:19,315 --> 01:20:23,319
Grumpy?
1895
01:20:23,352 --> 01:20:25,221
Grump, talk to me.
1896
01:20:25,254 --> 01:20:27,891
Meow!
1897
01:20:27,924 --> 01:20:29,425
Please talk to me.
1898
01:20:29,458 --> 01:20:31,027
Meow!
1899
01:20:31,060 --> 01:20:33,162
Grumpy, no, no, no, no, please.
1900
01:20:33,196 --> 01:20:34,864
You're my only friend.
1901
01:20:34,898 --> 01:20:37,000
I need you to say something,
anything.
1902
01:20:37,033 --> 01:20:38,334
Gotcha.
1903
01:20:38,367 --> 01:20:39,368
You jerk!
1904
01:20:39,402 --> 01:20:41,337
Haha, I can talk.
1905
01:20:41,370 --> 01:20:44,207
Please, like the Lifetime execs
would blow their chance
1906
01:20:44,240 --> 01:20:47,476
for a sequel with the internets
biggest cash cat.
1907
01:20:47,510 --> 01:20:50,079
Meow.
1908
01:20:50,113 --> 01:20:51,280
Hey, watch the hair.
1909
01:20:51,314 --> 01:20:55,384
Ow, you're being very aggressive
with my money makers, man.
1910
01:20:55,418 --> 01:20:57,887
You heard me, I'm a fellow
officer.
1911
01:20:57,921 --> 01:20:59,122
I'll take that, thank you.
1912
01:20:59,155 --> 01:21:01,925
Oh hey Crabtree,
thanks for coming.
1913
01:21:01,958 --> 01:21:02,658
Ow!
1914
01:21:02,691 --> 01:21:03,226
Lets go!
1915
01:21:03,259 --> 01:21:04,660
Ow! You're hitting me!
1916
01:21:04,693 --> 01:21:05,661
That was assault.
1917
01:21:05,694 --> 01:21:06,595
They did it! They did it!
1918
01:21:06,629 --> 01:21:07,596
I didn't do anything!
1919
01:21:07,630 --> 01:21:09,632
I'm an undercover cop.
1920
01:21:09,665 --> 01:21:11,034
Crystal.
1921
01:21:11,067 --> 01:21:13,036
Mom, Jesse!
1922
01:21:13,069 --> 01:21:14,137
Thank god.
1923
01:21:14,170 --> 01:21:15,071
So glad you're okay.
1924
01:21:15,104 --> 01:21:17,306
Hey, where's the concern for me?
1925
01:21:17,340 --> 01:21:18,507
You had me worried.
1926
01:21:18,541 --> 01:21:20,243
I'm fine.
1927
01:21:20,276 --> 01:21:22,578
Those guys didn't do anything
to you, did they?
1928
01:21:22,611 --> 01:21:25,681
That's a different kind
of Lifetime movie,
1929
01:21:25,714 --> 01:21:26,682
if you know what I mean.
1930
01:21:26,715 --> 01:21:28,417
No, mom.
1931
01:21:28,451 --> 01:21:31,520
Did I see you driving a Camaro?
1932
01:21:31,554 --> 01:21:34,557
Yeah, but for the record
it was her idea.
1933
01:21:34,590 --> 01:21:38,127
Is this the cat you said talks?
1934
01:21:38,161 --> 01:21:39,428
I knew you wouldn't believe me.
1935
01:21:39,462 --> 01:21:41,097
It's okay, the good news is
1936
01:21:41,130 --> 01:21:43,266
there are people
who can help you.
1937
01:21:43,299 --> 01:21:45,101
We will get you the treatment
that you need.
1938
01:21:45,134 --> 01:21:48,237
Mom, just forget I said
anything okay?
1939
01:21:48,271 --> 01:21:50,673
I thought you wanted me
to make friends,
1940
01:21:50,706 --> 01:21:52,341
you just never told me with who.
1941
01:21:52,375 --> 01:21:53,309
Meow.
1942
01:21:53,342 --> 01:21:55,511
Alright.
1943
01:21:55,544 --> 01:21:59,015
I don't care.
1944
01:21:59,048 --> 01:22:02,952
You are a good kid
and I love you.
1945
01:22:02,986 --> 01:22:03,686
I love you too.
1946
01:22:03,719 --> 01:22:04,988
I love you, meow.
1947
01:22:05,021 --> 01:22:06,022
And I'm going to tell
you something
1948
01:22:06,055 --> 01:22:08,657
you probably didn't know.
1949
01:22:08,691 --> 01:22:10,526
When I was your age
1950
01:22:10,559 --> 01:22:13,262
I had an invisible friend,
1951
01:22:13,296 --> 01:22:16,332
so at least yours is real.
1952
01:22:16,365 --> 01:22:18,501
I knew it, Crystal's mom's
a loser.
1953
01:22:18,534 --> 01:22:19,468
Thanks, mom.
1954
01:22:19,502 --> 01:22:21,170
She deserves an elf.
1955
01:22:24,640 --> 01:22:25,741
Hey there, little lady.
1956
01:22:25,774 --> 01:22:26,742
Hey, Mr. Crabtree.
1957
01:22:26,775 --> 01:22:30,413
Crystal, you saved Jo-Jo
and you saved my store.
1958
01:22:30,446 --> 01:22:32,048
Yup, she sure did.
1959
01:22:32,081 --> 01:22:34,383
You're like a hero.
1960
01:22:34,417 --> 01:22:38,021
But you also stole my key
and broke into the store.
1961
01:22:38,054 --> 01:22:39,422
Yeah, about that.
1962
01:22:39,455 --> 01:22:40,523
So, to pay for the damage
1963
01:22:40,556 --> 01:22:43,059
I'm going to have
to dock your pay.
1964
01:22:43,092 --> 01:22:45,328
But you don't pay me.
1965
01:22:45,361 --> 01:22:51,200
Right, well then I could make
you employee of the month.
1966
01:22:51,234 --> 01:22:52,301
Really?
1967
01:22:52,335 --> 01:22:53,236
Well, there's only the two
of you
1968
01:22:53,269 --> 01:22:57,406
and to be honest Corben's
kind of useless.
1969
01:22:57,440 --> 01:22:58,507
Wish I was kidding.
1970
01:22:58,541 --> 01:23:00,143
What?
1971
01:23:00,176 --> 01:23:01,210
Thank you so much.
1972
01:23:01,244 --> 01:23:04,280
Ugh, all this sweetness
is killing me.
1973
01:23:04,313 --> 01:23:05,581
Literally.
1974
01:23:05,614 --> 01:23:07,383
Or is it figuratively.
1975
01:23:07,416 --> 01:23:09,085
Either way I don't like it.
1976
01:23:11,354 --> 01:23:12,521
Hello?
1977
01:23:14,790 --> 01:23:18,427
Hello?
1978
01:23:18,461 --> 01:23:20,496
I could use a little help here.
1979
01:23:23,466 --> 01:23:24,767
Hello?
1980
01:23:28,837 --> 01:23:29,472
Come on!
1981
01:23:29,505 --> 01:23:30,239
Alright.
1982
01:23:30,273 --> 01:23:31,274
Come on, slowpoke.
1983
01:23:31,307 --> 01:23:32,308
I'm coming!
1984
01:23:47,723 --> 01:23:50,159
What's wrong?
1985
01:23:50,193 --> 01:23:52,128
Nothing.
1986
01:23:52,161 --> 01:23:55,231
I guess Santa didn't come
this year.
1987
01:23:55,264 --> 01:23:56,799
Why do you say that?
1988
01:23:56,832 --> 01:23:58,734
Because I didn't get
what I wished for.
1989
01:23:58,767 --> 01:24:00,703
Which was?
1990
01:24:00,736 --> 01:24:04,207
I was hoping I would get
to adopt Grumpy.
1991
01:24:05,474 --> 01:24:07,610
Alright, surprise, it's me!
1992
01:24:07,643 --> 01:24:08,844
Merry Christmas.
1993
01:24:08,877 --> 01:24:09,745
Grumpy!
1994
01:24:09,778 --> 01:24:11,214
Yeah, yeah, surprise.
1995
01:24:11,247 --> 01:24:11,814
Hey!
1996
01:24:11,847 --> 01:24:13,416
Oh god.
1997
01:24:13,449 --> 01:24:14,317
Hey girl.
1998
01:24:14,350 --> 01:24:15,618
Merry Christmas!
1999
01:24:15,651 --> 01:24:17,620
All right, lets take it slow
okay?
2000
01:24:17,653 --> 01:24:19,422
This is the best Christmas ever.
2001
01:24:19,455 --> 01:24:21,857
Sure, go ahead, ignore
the title of my movie.
2002
01:24:21,890 --> 01:24:23,692
[knocks]
2003
01:24:23,726 --> 01:24:25,661
Merry Christmas!
2004
01:24:25,694 --> 01:24:27,796
Hey!
2005
01:24:27,830 --> 01:24:30,499
Looks like Santa brought me
a present too.
2006
01:24:30,533 --> 01:24:32,468
Does she mean the coffee
or the elf?
2007
01:24:32,501 --> 01:24:34,770
Hahaha, good one Grumpy.
2008
01:24:39,308 --> 01:24:41,544
This is going to take
some getting used to.
2009
01:24:45,581 --> 01:24:46,415
Meow.
2010
01:24:50,719 --> 01:24:52,288
Ho, ho, ho.
2011
01:24:52,321 --> 01:24:54,623
So, remember, make
your Christmas wish
2012
01:24:54,657 --> 01:24:56,392
and old Saint Nick will
2013
01:24:56,425 --> 01:24:57,726
Beat it, tubs.
2014
01:24:57,760 --> 01:25:01,330
Alright everyone, put your
Grumpy faces on and sing.
2015
01:25:01,364 --> 01:25:03,299
* Jingle bells,
Christmas smells, *
2016
01:25:03,332 --> 01:25:05,801
* and it's really dumb. *
2017
01:25:05,834 --> 01:25:07,570
* Worse are movies
about Christmas *
2018
01:25:07,603 --> 01:25:09,638
* so I hope you
all are glum. *
2019
01:25:18,514 --> 01:25:19,848
[screams]
Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!
2020
01:25:19,882 --> 01:25:22,451
Ha ha!
2021
01:25:22,485 --> 01:25:24,553
"Have a very Grumpy Christmas.
2022
01:25:24,587 --> 01:25:27,223
It's the most terrible time
of the year.
2023
01:25:27,256 --> 01:25:28,557
Bah Humbug.
2023
01:25:29,305 --> 01:26:29,865
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