Original subtitles

[ music ]

CHAPA: It's fine it's fine it's fine

stop you can stop just stop it's fine.

- I'm sorry. I thought we were taking this prank seriously.

- We are. But it already looks like a real apple.

[ chair coming up from SW.A.G. ]

- She's coming!

- Oh hey Mika, you should totally try this apple,

just try the apple, everyone's doing it.

Just try the apple.

- What's going on?

- Oh, we're waiting for Mika.

- My sister? - The same.

- Why are you guys waiting for Mika--

- No no no! That's not a real apple.

It's a water balloon filled with spicy milk

that's been painted to look like a real apple.

BOSE: Once Mika takes a bite...

Spicy milk!!!

- Hashtag get milked.

- Why are you guys trying to prank Mika?

- Because she keeps reminding Ray to give us homework

at the end of every day.

- Yeah that's messed up but I gotta be real with you --

you're never going to prank Mika.

She's un-prankable.

- Wait, Mika? - Like, your sister, Mika?

- The same. She's a prank genius.

She comes up with great pranks,

and sees other's pranks coming --

it's like it's her super power.

Except for, you know, her super power.

[ tube alert ]

- Hey guys, how groovaaay was that homework

Ray gave us last night? Huh?

Mmm hmm, yup, nothing like a long night of long divi...

...sion.

Someone's trying to prank me.

- Pfft. - Whaaat?

- I said, someone's trying to prank me.

And I know it's not Miles because he's learned his lesson.

So it must be one of you.

- Pfft. - Whaaat?

- Why would we try to prank you?

- Yeah sis, you're our girl-power-B-F-F

for life, chica.

- Okay. Then why don't you take a bite

of that nice, shiny apple?

- That apple there? - The same.

- Not hungry. - Aww.

I'm sure you have room in your tummy for one...

small... bite of this apple.

- Actually, I am kinda hungry.

- No! Bose it's filled with spicy milk!

- Ah-HA! - I told ya.

She can't be pranked. - Dang it.

- Oh, but that was cute though, with your lil' fake apple

filled with your lil' spicy milk.

And your banana filled with glue.

And your grapes where every fourth one is a rock.

- Owww!

- She is good.

- Not better than me. Who we talking about?

Whatever shut up I've got an assignment for the four of you.

[ trumpet music ]

- Who is that human peacock?

[ Miles laughs ]

- That human peacock is Archduke Fernando, from Rivalton.

- Aww. I hate Rivalton. - Boo Rivalton.

- And as you know, tomorrow is, of course, Kielbasa Day.

- Already?! I forget Kielbasa Day every year.

- Anyway the Archduke's coming to Swellview

to give some stupid speech about something stupid

and he's asked for the best protection possible.

- Hey, okay! - Nice!

- We are the best. - Unfortunately, I'm busy

so he's going to have to settle for you guys.

- Oh, come on. - That hurts, Ray.

- I got a date with a mom who likes pinball

so the four of you are gonna have to protect him for me.

Hmm, don't mind if I do.

- Sir, you might not wanna eat that--

- Shhh. If he wants to eat an apple, let him eat the apple.

- Thank you.

Oh as always, if you guys screw this up I'll be furious

and if you do everything correctly I will not praise you.

Aya, one last thing: Don't make fun of his ponytail --

okay that's it byeeeeeeeee!

Ahhhh! Spicy milk!

Gah! This is why you should never eat fruit!

- Why would we make fun of this dude's ponytail?

- His name is Gideon and I've had him

since he was a little man-bun.

- Yeah, I'm definitely gonna make fun of that.

- I think I shall start my Kielbasa Day speech now!

- Go off big man.

[ trumpet music ]

[ applause ]

- Oh... Thank you Swellview!

You know, our cities are not so different, yours and mine...

- There's a prank coming. - What?

- Someone's about to prank Archduke Fernando!

I can feel it.

- or are you just a stupid idiot.

- Repeat: chances are high for a prank.

- Chances are also high for me eating a kielbasa.

- but the biggest reason why

Rivalton is better than Swellview--

[ coughs ]

- That's the prank! - Get him out of here!

- I'm fine! Get away from my pony

I just need a drink of water...

- Ahhhh! - We need to go, sir!

- No I need to finish my spee--

Ahhhh! Prank railing!

Uh ah! Gideoooooooonnnnnnnn--

[ crashes to the ground ]

ARCHDUKE FERNANDO: Who cares about me.

Someone check on Gideon.

- Okay, I get why he loves Gideon so much.

He's so soft...

- We're so gonna get yelled at.

[ music ]

RAY: Statically, most women who play pinball have mustaches.

But I finally meet an absolutely stunning mom

who's into pinball, and you guys have to go and--

Where's Chapa?

- She suited up to answer a call.

Some dude was spittin' on people at Ball Mart.

- Fine. I'll yell at her when she gets back.

- Look, I'm sorry Archduke Fernando

got pranked on our watch.

But honestly, that guy was kind of a jerk.

- Yeah. He keeps calling the Man's Nest

and demanding that I give back Gideon.

But I would never do that because you're just so soft...

- So who cares if he got pranked, anyway?

I mean it's no big deal. - No big deal?

You really think that war is no big deal?

- What?

- What are you talking about "war"?

- So soft...

- I'm talking about The Thousand Pranks War!

Really -- Don't they teach you kids anything in school these days?

- Ray, you're our teacher.

- And we usually have to teach you.

- That's it -- we're watching the Ken Burns documentary.

- Ken Burns made a documentary about The Thousand Pranks War?

- Ken Burns has made a documentary about everything!

- Okay.

NARRATOR: The Thousand Pranks War between Swellview and Rivalton

had raged for decades.

And soldiers from both sides have left letters

to tell the tale...

SOLDIER: Dearest Martha. I write to you

with my underwear stretched way up above my head.

A grievous injury I incurred at the Battle of Wedgie Hill.

SOLDIER: This Prank War seems to stretch on

with no end in sight, much like my tight-y whiteys...

but my resolve has not wavered...

SOLDIER: How can two towns end a Prank War

when no one knows who started it?

Or whence it was began?

SOLDIER: I do not know if you will even

see this letter for it appears I have unknowingly

been writing with disappearing ink.

SOLDIER: My dearest Martha, please kiss the kids for me.

And tell Ruffles he is a good boy.

XOXO, Unknown Soldier.

- Hey, what the-- - What'd I miss?

- What you missed is historical footage of The Thousand Pranks War

that's about to get started up all over again.

- Hey, can we watch "Jumanji"? - No, we can't watch "Jumanji"!

You guys just reignited a war!

- Really? Before yesterday there hadn't been any pranking

between Swellview and Rivalton for thirty years.

Maybe yesterday's prank will just blow over.

- They... pranked me.

MILES: What happened?

- Looks like they ran the Tallahassee Two-Step.

BOSE: The what?

- It's a simple prank -- someone calls in

a fake spit-mergency, second pranker spills grease

on a first responder's uniform, third grifter offers to clean

said uniform at no charge.

They take your clothes and tell you to wait in a room.

And when you get your clothes back --

it's the cheerleading costume from your town's hated rival.

- She's absolutely right.

[ Ray, Bose and Miles gasp ]

- Avenge... me...

- You still think this is just gonna blow over?

- One, two, three, four.

I declare a Prank War.

[ Bose gasps ]

- It all just kinda happened.

[ kids all taking at once ]

- Stop talking!

♪ Danger

♪ Whoaaa-oooh

♪ Whoaaa-oooh

♪ Ooooh-ooooh

♪ Danger!

♪ One two three Force!

[ kids in unison ] - Emergency!

- That's just the doorbell. - I know.

[ music ]

- Breaking news -- more like, pranking news.

- That's right, Trent.

It's war. Again!

Between Swellview and Rivalton.

- Yuck.

- The latest victim? Danger Force's own Volt,

whose superhero costume was stolen and is now on display

in Rivalton's Country Music-themed knockoff store:

Hee Haw Purée.

- Volt was later seen walking home in shame,

dressed like a Rivalton Cheerleader.

- Our sources indicate that Volt was shaken,

but she is now in stable condition.

- AHHHHHH I HATE THAT PICTURE GET IT OFF THE SCREEN!

- We're having some trouble getting this image off the screen,

so we're just gonna have to leave it up for a while.

- Noooooo!!!

- In totally unrelated news, prank supply stores

in both cities are selling out

as people continue to line up around the bloc--

- Gaaaaah I can't stand Rivalton!

- Yeah, the only thing worse than Rivalton is

oh wait nothing.

Get. Wrecked. Ha!

- You just wrecked Rivalton. - That was good.

- That was good, right?

- Why does Rivalton even exist?

- Rivalton used to be nothing

until they struck grease underground and got rich.

Here, there's a Ken Burns documentary about it...

- No. - Please just "Jumanji".

- They found vast grease deposits underground,

then they started selling it to every restaurant

in the Quint Cities.

Of which Swellview is, of course, one.

♪ Rivalton and Bordertown,

♪ Adjacent City, Neighborville and Swellview: ♪

♪ the Quint City Towns -- Quints! ♪

♪ Quints means five.

- Exactly. And now? You want fried food?

You gotta buy Rivalton grease,

and you gotta pay Rivalton prices.

While the citizens of Rivalton just sit around gettin' rich

and making Chapa look cheery.

- Gah! I hate looking cheery.

- Enough talk -- let's ride on them Rivaltons!

- Yeah! - Yeah!

- Oh, I got a prank.

How about this? We roll up on Rivalton with our lasers

and blast every single Rivalton we see -- like this!

- Aiieee! Aiieee! Aiieee!

- That's not a prank, that's just violence.

- Yeah but it's funny violence -- watch.

- Aiiiieeeee!

- See that's hilarious. - How about this?

We drag me behind the Man Copter and I shock the entire city!

- Aiiiieeeee!

- That's also going to hurt people.

- It's going to hurt a lot of people.

[ Mika whistles ]

- [ Australian accent ] Two days ago, I thought of a way

to prank that town. You wanna prank Rivalton?

You talk to me.

- What'd you have in mind?

[ upbeat music ]

MIKA: We wait until the middle of the night,

then Miles teleports us all into Hee Haw Purée...

MIKA: Miles replaces all the regular chairs with prank chairs.

- Yes!

MIKA: Schwoz replaces their water supply

with his new "concentrated water."

One sip is like a gallon in your guts.

SCHWOZ: You're so bad, I love it.

MIKA: Bose? You still know how to build a brick wall?

BOSE: Sand-lime bricks or fly-ash clay?

MIKA: Sand-lime, of course.

BOSE: Ooooh, the lady has expensive taste.

RAY: And I fill the whole place with nitroblast boom sticks!

MIKA: Again, that's just violence.

RAY [disappointed ]: Awwww...

MIKA: Chapa, you install remote locks on all the entrance doors.

- These are all good pranks,

but I wish we could see them happen.

- You know that fourth wall of Hee Haw Purée

that we never get close to? - Of course I do.

We got one in the Man's Nest right over there.

- Huh. That's where I installed the hidden cameras.

- Ah.

MILES: Okay. So then what?

MIKA: Then we pop some popcorn,

open some brightly colored sodas,

and enjoy the swell view of Rivaltons getting pranked.

[ music ]

- We may have made too much popcorn.

- Shhhhh! The show is starting!

[ music ]

- C'mon. We've been watching this stuff for five whole minutes!

When's the pranking gonna start?

- Yeah, they've been drinking Schwoz's heavy water

in their purée so why aren't they being,

you know, prankified?!

- The pranks should start right...

about...

...now.

[ music ]

- To Gideon!

My little pony!

- [ yawns ] I could use a good sit!

'Cause my buns are barkin'.

[ everyone laughs ]

- I built those chairs. - You did it too.

- Ha-ha! You tried to sit but you fell!

Let me show you how proper sitting is done, Clarence!

The key is to bend at the knee while maintaining eye-- ohhh!

[ everyone laughs ]

- Look at his stupid face. Look how stupid he looks.

- We've been pranked!

Everyone check your chairs!

- You heard the man!

CLARENCE: Bend at the knee...

[ all talking at once ]

- No! Don't check them by sitting on them.

[ all laughing even harder ]

- That's amazing! Are you kidding me?

- I only took a tiny sip, but...

I gotta go real bad!

- Yes, that's why we all call you Small Bladdie Maddie and--

ohhhhh goodness to grease I've got to go, too! Out of my way.

- Oh yeah!!

RAY: Here it comes!

- Ah! That's sand-lime brick!

[ scream in unison ]

[ all laughing ]

- C'mon, we can all go outside and pee!

- Yeah, but you can't though.

- Open the door, you fool!

- I can't! It's locked!

- [ crying ] My bladdieeeeeee...

[ laughing hysterically ]

- Oh is there a urologist in the house?

- I can't breathe.

- We're being pranked! With a capital "pee!"

- It's happening...

- Oooh, Me toooooo...

[ all cheering and laughing ]

- Wait, wait wait. I call that one, Ur-in-trouble.

- I never thought I'd say this, but I am afraid of you.

[ cheering ]

[ music ]

- Well since Ray forgot to yesterday,

I'll ask him to assign us double homework tonight--

[ Chapa, Miles and Bose ] - Noooo!!!

- Well excuse me for trying to learn.

- I will never excuse that.

- Hold, hold, hold, hold...

[ muffled high-pitched wailing ]

- There's an old lady screaming in the Man's Nest!

- Errrr! Ya-ah-haa!

C'mon!

- Ray?

- Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey, he-e-y, hey. Hey.

What's wrong? Breathe.

- Okay, okay... I was doing my normal hair-care routine, right:

Pre-soak, soak, free-trade organic low-carb shampoo,

pre-rinse, rinse, conditioner, argon oil, mountain water,

rinse, air dry, towel dry, mountain air dry--

- Okay. Yeah yeah yeah. We get it.

- And then, and then, I went to apply a teaspoon

of activated cashew butter to my scalp

when I realized that somebody had replaced it with--

Fast-locking epoxy glue!

Ahhhh!

- So you can't get your hands out?

- Nooo!

- Okay hold still. Hold still.

Hold still. You ready?

RAY: Not like this. Not like this.

[ Mika screams ]

- I guess you're gonna have to shave your head.

- I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that.

Ohhh!

[ yelling gibberish ]

- Well, there's only one other thing you can do...

- Why do you have a Kid Danger wig?

- Remember that time Captain Man and Kid Danger

fought The Barber, and Henry lost all of his hair?

- Eh, no.

- Exactly -- because I made this wig.

- Ha ha ha we fooled the whole town moving on.

Bet you're all wondering why Schwoz and I

called you all here today.

- It's a school day. - And we were already here.

- We called you here because... we realized two things.

One! This hair prank is clearly the work of Rivalton.

- Well yeah, obviously. - Duh.

- But we also believe that since the only people

who have access to my hair products are here in this room

that that means: that one of you is pranking for Rivalton.

[ Bose gasps ]

- And I know exactly who it is --

Schwoz?

[ suspenseful music ]

[ music ]

- Why would one of us be pranking for Rivalton?

- Because one of you was born there.

- In Rivalton?! - The same.

- No, way! - I got the proof right here!

I know who the dirty Rivalton is.

But I'm going to give them a chance to come clean.

And if they don't -- you're all fired.

- Mika was born in Rivalton. - Miles!

- I'm sorry but he said he was gonna fire everyone

and Bose really needs the health insurance for his foot thing!

- Miles, stop revealing people's secrets!

- Wait a minute -- I thought you two were twins.

- We are.

- So Miles was born in Rivalton, too?!

- No I was not!

- Okay, I'll tell you what happened.

- Our mom was verrrrrrry pregnant...

- Okay you tell them what happened.

- And our dad was verrrrrrry hungry...

MILES: So our mom was pregnant and sick of it.

- I'm pregnant and I'm sick of it.

CHAPA: Why were they in Rivalton?

- Well, Hee Haw Purée has this special smoothie

that's supposed to make you go into labor.

BOSE: Did it work?

- It's working! - Hmmm?

- The babies are coming! We gotta go!

- Well I gotta finish this first.

If I finish the whole thing we eat for free.

- Just pay for it. Ooooh!

- I didn't bring my wallet.

- Why not?

- Confidence.

- Drink faster!

I do not want my babies born in this disgusting town!

Oooh! Ooooh!

Yeah, I said it.

CHAPA: So did your dad finish the purée?

MILES: An hour later.

[ '90s music plays ]

MILES: By the time they actually left it was too late.

My mom drove as fast as she could,

but Mika was born in the car,

on the Rivalton side of the Jandy River.

- Where was your dad?

- He was in the back seat with a stomach ache.

- So where were you born?

- Also in the car, on the Swellview side of the Jandy River.

- Ohhhh. - Okay.

- That, that makes sense.

- I'm a proud son of Swellview.

- Yeah, unlike your "sister."

- I'm still his sister!

- Yeah, who was born in Rivalton!

- Look, I didn't prank your stupid hair care products!

- What did you just call them?

- If anything I would have gone for your anti-aging cream.

[ Bose, Miles and Chapa gasp ]

- I cast thee out.

- Come on, Ray...

I!!! Cast!!! Thee!!! Out!!!

- Are you serious?

- You are out of Danger Force!

Until this Prank War is over, you shall not step foot in this Man's Nest.

- You know what? Fine.

- Ray, are you seriously kicking her out of Danger Force?

- Yes.

- Hey. What's in the envelope?

How did you know I was born in Rivalton?

- I didn't know.

You just told me.

- Down the tube!

- Not cool dude.

- Yeah she's a dirty Rivalton, but she was our best pranker.

- And she was our friend. - Oh yeah.

- Plus I told her about my foot thing

and it never got out.

- Because of her, I had to shave my hair!

We can't trust her.

But now, thanks to me, she's completely out of the way

and we don't have to worry about her anymore at all.

- ShoutOut? What are you doing here?

- I prank for you now.

- Gideon!!!

[ music ]

♪ Always on the scene in the nick of time ♪

♪ The second I see trouble I know I'll be fine ♪

♪ I'm okay

♪ I'm okaaaay!

♪ Danger

♪ Whoaaa-oooh

♪ Whoaaa-oooh

♪ Ooooh-ooooh

♪ Danger!

♪ One two three Force!